#my sedentary tdee is 1400 and i burn so much extra every day so it works out. i guess im lucky that my main coping mechanism that i use to

[tinylittlebab]

2/10/23

goal: 1000 / total: 821 / extra burned: 100 / net: 720 / weight: 94.5

disappointed in this. wouldve been less but i kinda blanked while eating goldfish and forgot to count them out bc i was too busy sorting them. oops. well its not that bad. i didnt end up getting to do my usual stuff so the day was very hard. i had planned to wait to eat till later or not at all but around 8pm i started feeling very ill and shakey so i decided to eat. unfortunate but whatever.

mad at myself for being hungry this morning since i had over 800 yesterday. my body is so pathetic. i fed it so much yesterday but even still.

#ugh. 821 thats so much i feel so bad #i know that ill still definitely lose weight if im eating that much daily but i feel pathetic for not going lower even when i wasnt #exercising. the main reason im able to maintain 97 and still eat 2000 a day is bc i exercise so much every day #my sedentary tdee is 1400 and i burn so much extra every day so it works out. i guess im lucky that my main coping mechanism that i use to #feel regulated and also happy (basically a hobby tbh) involves exercising. idk daydreams are more vivid when i skip around #makes me forget my body exists. and i do it so much that i burn a whole lot of calories #ugh. my body hurts rn. i should eat but idk what. should i go higher now and lower later or vice versa #im allowing myself to be ok with higher numbers today. nothing above 1100 but above 800 is ok #think its kinda silly that i always SAY my limit is 1000 but its actually not. but if i set my limit to anything less than im actually more #likely to meet it or go over. i more frequently get totals of 500 with this limit. i tell myself i can have a bigger meal later and then it #comes to bedtime and instead of eating i just go to bed. qhen its a lower amount i know i wont be able to eat anything larger so i am #doing way more counting of cals on everything to figure out what to eat later and it messes me up #and eating over 800 2 times a week isnt so bad. ill still lose weight. i feel bad tho. like im not disordered enough #but 800 is still a very small amount

[tinylittlebab]

hmm. if theres 3500 cals in a pound then if i eat 750 every day then i could be at my gw in 28 days. as long as i burn 1250 every day then i shpuld be fine and my sedentary tdee is 1400 + i exercise lots making my actual tdee in the 1800-2000 range. adding in the fact i overestimate calories then it should work out. i can add an extra 150 if need be and itll just take a bit longer.

being disabled sucks bc i means starving has much worse complications. before my issues got so bad this was way easier but now it means i can barely stand up at all even when im not restricting that hard