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#my brother has many disagreements with him and both he AND my sister are trans allies by i feel like...
archiephd · 2 years
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trying to explain that gender essentialist thinking is harmful just on principal of upholding the concept in society while also acknowledging how like. trans men have noticed more confidence and physicality once they went on testosterone without undermining the point.
#trying to talk to my siblings abt it has been one of the most frustrating experiences of my whole life#like am i in the wrong?? if i squint at my sister using words like masculine energy and feminine energy in her spirituality#to describe a different between forward / penetrative / hardworking energy versus a receiving / being energy in her spirituality?#like to me. wanting to describe those ideas is fine. but why are you using gendered words to do it#it is partly because in english we haven't thought of many replacement words that Aren't gendered#but like. is the reluctance to change that vocabulary a matter of convenience or some room to clear out gender essentialism?#is gender not real but hormones and traits associated with them real? is making a distinction between the two worth it then?#EYE think so. because you can have women with low estrogen who feel masculine but are still content as female#and you can also have women with high testosterone who don't want hormone therapy yet still identify as female#so to link the two feels? unnecessary? even IF there is a likelihood to more easily acquire certain traits with each individual hormone#I DON'T KNOWWW enough about all this i unironically wanna get into gender studies just bc of this conversation hsdfkjsl#which was prompted by me subjecting myself to j*rdan p*terson bc my brother listened to him in the past btw lol#my brother has many disagreements with him and both he AND my sister are trans allies by i feel like...#they still have some concept of gender essentialism and i don't know how to properly confront it when i haven't even done that much researc#and honestly feel like i can't given my schedule#god. if you read all that thank you. also pls share ur thoughts if u have any#i've been thinking abt this for days#and would love any and all extra input especially from trans voices but not exclusively i am desperate#*edit my sister also like acknowledged how my squinting was justified but also saw me acknowledging peoples' responses to hormone therapy#and the difference they've felt in behavior as like. contradictory lol#and how like. if there was a trans woman who didn't want hormone therapy like. Were they tested to see if their natural testosterone levels#+ were low???#and i was like????? Does it matter#as long as there is one trans woman with high testosterone and one trans man with high estrogen doesn't that mean linking hormoes +#+*HORMONES with gendered traits is faulty?#but i guess like. if there's a generalized likelihood it Would make sense to link them#but IS there a generalized likelihood or is it mostly all circumstantial and socialized??#also is gender essentialism associating gendered traits with genetalia and Not hormones or are they the same??#does it MATTER?? i dunnooooooo god
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lakkimi · 7 years
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[TRANS] FTISLAND Lee Jaejin "Bad relation with FNC, NO.. We are like an old married couple"
(Due to some time limit, I will omit some parts that basically only talk about the drama, sorry.. ><)
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Band FTISLAND’s Lee Jaejin (26) showed his serious acting through SBS Saturday drama, “Sister is Alive”. Since the drama earned high popularity, Lee Jaejin who also starred in it also attracted much attention to his acting there.
Lee Jaejin played Na Jaedong, the troublemaker youngest son of Na Daein. He often created comical situation with his mother in the drama that is acted by  Hwang Younghee. He also built a lovely romance with Kang Hase (Jin Jihee) with various incident unfolding in the development of their story. In the setting of a band with him as a guitarist, he also had a perfect synchronization rate as he is FTISLAND’s bassist and vocalist in real life.
“Until now, I have been able to work with colleagues around my age. Even though it is comfortable to work with people from around the same age, I also wanted to work closely with senior actors/actresses, so that I can learn from them closely and improve as an actor. For me to find a gig that I can work on simultaneously with working on music for a long time, I think this opportunity will only come this time, so I thought to take it no matter what.
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Lee Jaejin wasn’t satisfied with his (acting) performance. He is upset that he couldn’t draw more from his character and settings. “I really was upset for more than 90% of the time. At the filming set, with that many staffs and actors, it would be better if I could focus a little bit more, but I just couldn’t get myself to. There is no problem with the scenes and characters, and they were made well enough, however, there were a lot of scenes where I ran away after getting beaten up by my mom and dad, that I could have made more fun, but I was lacking energy that I couldn’t make out more of those scenes. I couldn’t make those ordinary scenes to come more alive. Since this is a weekend drama that the directors, actors, and staffs are the people that I worked together with for a long time, the directors and the senior actors just told me that “you have done well, it is right to not go too hard on (the scenes)” but I think I am still far from being an actor that can go beyond the standard to make the scenes more alive.”
Before Lee Jaejin, his bandmate, Lee Hongki, has started to go acting first. It is true that the as Lee Hongki brings people’s awareness toward him through his acting, at the same time, he also has helped people to raise their interest to FTISLAND’s music as well. As Jaejin saw the advantages that Hongki brought by the synergy of doing music and acting, his desire to try out acting grew too.
"Frankly speaking, I have always had the desire to go acting too. My bandmate, (Lee) Hongki hyung was able to communicate a lot through his dramas, he has also garnered people’s interest, and he has also received much love, that it also helped with the band activities too. Lately, we are strongly venturing to a more non-mainstream music, that you can feel the most fun when you are actually there to see us in person. If you only listen to our recorded music, I can only tell you “well it’s just strong”. As hyung does dramas, it also helped a lot with our music life, as he would have more opportunity to tell more people about us. Also, I think my experience in acting helps with my music, and the other way around, so I want to excel in both areas. Since then that I started to diligently study acting.”
Lee Jaejin who played a playful character in Sister is Alive, similar to himself, expressed his desire for a character that is the opposite now. More importantly, for the coming future, he wants a character that can improve his acting skill.
“I want a villain character, a character that seems to not have anything much to say, a chic one. I want to try comical roles too. Even though so, I want to study (acting) more now. I want to jot down things that I experience now on my acting note, so I can study more from it.”
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To Lee Jaejin who is used to work in a band of 5 persons, working just by himself has its difficulties too. However, he was able to gather more strength as he received support from his members. For him who has been in FTISLAND for more than 10 years, the relationship among the members is like that of a family.
"Our members are like real brothers. I have met our drummer (Choi) Minhwan since he was in 5th grade. We know what’s going on with each other’s lives, we are just like a family. When they saw my acting, they didn’t seem to bee too impressed. “You’re working hard” they say, but I’m not sure if that’s a compliment, I think it’s more like teasing me. “Well, he will take care of it” its closer to that feeling. But when I cried in the drama, they took a capture of it and to their friends, they used it as an emoticon along with this message “today, I’m sad”. (laughs)  
Even though they are colleagues in music, in the acting world, Hongki is a senior. Before Jaejin made his character, Hongki offered his advises too.
"Hongki hyung always had a funny character except for his role in Bride of the Century. Therefore, before I met with the director and the writer, I went to him first to ask about how to build the character. When I asked ‘Hyung, what should I do?’ He replied ‘I have done it that many times that this is the thing that I often overlooked. We should build the character from things that don’t appear in the script, that person’s gestures, way of speech, his childhood accidents, or how he grew up, make the character concrete.’ When he said that I thought of, ‘Ah, a senior is indeed a senior.’“
FTISLAND is a group of longevity that is celebrating their 10th anniversary this year. There is this thing called the 7-year jinx in which a lot of groups either disband or have a member leaving, but FTISLAND is an exception.
"If you look at the members, we’re all like Peterpans. When adults see us who are emotional and don’t want to grow old, they would tell us “think a little bit more wisely”. But, we as a group have done well in coming this far. When we fight, we will fight like elementary schoolers, we would get sulky and all, but the next day, we would tell each other “let’s work hard together”, and our fights just end like that. That also shows on stage. FTISLAND consists of 5 persons who don’t want to grow old like Peterpans.”
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FTISLAND’s bond can also be seen from their plan to enlist together. They have said it several times that they are going to enlist together. Jaejin revealed that there is no plan to change that.
“We want to enlist together. I want to use the time efficiently, so when hyungs go, I will also go too. I still have things that I want to accomplish both in the band and as an individual, so I still want to work hard a little bit more in a lot of things.”
They also have a long history with their agency, FNC ent. FTISLAND had expressed their regret and dissatisfaction toward their company. Jaejin revealed that indeed, there have been some disagreements in the past, however, now they have come to understand each other better, so they would like to put it all in the past.
"It is true that there were some instances that our relationship with the company turned sour. However, we are good now. We have our own stances, and when we look at each other’s stances, just like an old married couple, we would go “if it is things that I have to understand, then, I have to understand”. In the past, we would say “We can do these abroad, why can’t we do the same in Korea?” and the company would tell us that the situation is not the same in our country. We are not a country that gives a lot of love to the very existence of band music itself. So, they told us to be more realistic. Now, we focus more on what are more feasible to do, and the company would tell us “Whatever it is that you want to do, OK! In return, please also work hard on the other things.” So, no we won;t really clash with each other. This year too, as we celebrated our 10th anniversary, our (HSH) CEO gave us a call and told us, let’s gain strength.”
As a musician, Jaejin’s goal is for the group to last for a long time. Following music, as an individual, his goal is to succeed in acting. We look forward to Lee Jaejin who aims to be a good person, musician, and actor. "As a musician, I want our group, FTISLAND, to be a long-lasting group. It is not easy to be a long-lasting group you know. As we downscale, it is not easy to keep operating as a group, but, even though so, we will still want to confidently and passionately stay in this place as we aim to stick together as a group for a long time. I also want to succeed as an actor. I want to be an actor that is recognized by the seniors, and juniors think of “I want to work together with this senior”. When I first learned acting, I thought of “as long as I become a good person, I will also become a good actor”. There are busy people who just take care of their own matters but I want to be an actor who is considerate of the others, so when I take care of other people, won’t I receive more then? My goal is to become a good person and a good actor.”
Trying to be translated by Lu / Not 100% accurate, feedback is always appreciated :)
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