#misogyny anecdotal

[peachdoxie]

Every day on the Stormlight subreddit someone makes a post with a title like "I enjoyed these books but [character] ruins them for me," and they always have like nine entire paragraphs complaining about [character] but from a skim of the first paragraph alone it's obvious that they fundamentally disagree with the idea that someone can always become a better person, no matter the horrible things they've done, which is like, the main theme of Stormlight.

#anecdotes by peachdoxie #stormlight archive #it's often dalinar and shallan (tied with misogyny) but ive seen navani too

[zodiacsea]

i need more things to complain about today i need to exercise my hater muscles

#ummm i think all but one of the cis gay men at my job should explode #one gets to stay bc hes like 45 and has learned how to be a normal human and not a misogyny factory #the others tho? insufferable #one of them refuses to treat me like a living breathing human being after meeting my transmasc partner and still has the audacity to like #try to call me and my friends out at an all staff meeting yesterday with a completely fabricated anecdote #tho i don’t think anyone took him seriously LOL #漫言

[aberfaeth]

that post abt physics being overvalued compared to other sciences…. girl it’s because physics is harder. moving on

#like this is not phys girl cockiness bc i am constantly riding the struggle bus like #physics is consistently the smallest scientific discipline #not to anecdote but there were 25 phys majors in my class of 1.5k in freshman year and half of them dropped bc it was too hard like #anyways this is not to say that people in bio and chem who make world altering discoveries aren’t smart bc obvs they are #but ppl blaming phys fame on misogyny are dumb as fuck. there’s just more math yall #c.txt

[contraspem--spero]

Theoretically, how does one get a professor fired

#my psychology prof will be the death of me #she's so fucking misogynistic and annoying #like nevermind public AND VERY DETAILED description of sex in front of people she KNOWS have minors among them #nevermind thinking herself entitled to 'give us advice how to have better sex' #nevermind the fact that she constantly talks about relationships & relationships advice #constant FLOW of misogyny #and misogynistic talks I've not knows women could spew #(as well as ableistic and homophobic talks 24/7 but that's to be expected) #SHE DOESN'T FUCKING FOLLOW CURRICULUM #she never checks homework and never discusses the topic #she just comes in and starts telling her personal anecdotes which almost exclusively pander to men #this is a female-dominated class we also have two males #I feel like this is so fucking intentional #i hate her so much

[womenaremypriority]

Cool radfem translation guide, for trans activists:

“Women are female”

Does not mean: Women are female and nothing else, women have to have babies.

Does mean: The requirement to be a women is to be female, and from then on it’s a woman’s unique personality!

Being female isn’t shameful! We can be woman while doing our own thing, not despite it.

“Women are, on average, shorter and skinnier than men. Women also have much less brute strength than men.”

Does not mean: Women need men to protect us, women are all dainty princesses, women are all short and skinny, and no women is strong.

Does mean: Male and female bodies are different, and while female bodies have their strengths and advantages, men’s immediate, raw strength compared to women matters. Men don’t protect us. Learn self defense.

“Some women may identify as men to escape misogyny”

Does not mean: These women are tricksters and liars, who are knowingly becoming men to gain advantages in life. These women’s feelings and emotions are shallow or false.

Does mean: Many women correctly identify from a young age, subconsciously or not, that men are taken more seriously and held in higher regard than women. The majority of historical figures and literary icons are men. This has an affect on young girls. Women’s bodies are sexualized and judged constantly, and it is only natural for women to identify more with men, or want to no longer have female genitals, breasts, or female fat distribution. We all deal with things in our own way. It’s not a moral failing to subconsciously wish to be seen as a man to be taken more seriously.

“Trans identify is a social contagion among young people”

Does not mean= Being trans is just something silly kids do for attention, trans people are always treated amazingly by everyone, the feelings and emotions of young people who identify as transgender or nonbinary are completely fake, and they have no serious concerns or issues, they should be brushed off.

Does mean= There’s a huge rise in children identifying this way. There are multiple anecdotes about people who didn’t mind a part of their body or life deciding to change it in some way after spending time in trans circles. For young kids who want to fit in, the community may seem appealing. It may be a way to scapegoat body issues and trauma into gender dysphoria. Even if transitioning may have medical or social consequences, anorexia and suicide have also been proven to have a social element, and are still very dangerous. Children who fail into contagion aren’t (always) lying or making things up. These things often come from a real place of hurt, disconnect, and isolation in teenagers.

#My post #radical feminism #radical feminists do interact #gender critical #radical feminist safe #radfem #radblr #radical feminist community #radical feminists do touch #My bangers

[thesituation]

idk i feel like a lot of y’all are so disconnected from human interactions that you think straight women having stupid “icks” is an issue, as if sitting next to a groups of straight guys in a food court won’t expose you to the most vile misogyny you’ve ever heard delivered like a casual funny anecdote. says more abt you than it does abt straight girls

#.txt

[bonefall]

So, I'm writing an essay on the whole STATE of misogyny in WC for one of my university classes, and I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of things! No pressure of course, please feel free to say no!

A) Could I reference your good takes with appropriate harvard referencing and links back to your blog?

B) Are there any specific moments from the books that you think should be covered the most?

C) The end result will be a visual essay, so it's like those fun infographics people on Tumblr make on like ADHD and stuff, so when it's done, would you like to be tagged to read it?

(Sorry for anon, I'm nervous lmao, but if you'd be more comfortable I'll resend this off anon)

AAY good topic! You've got a lot to work with. Absolutely feel free to reference anything I've written, and tag me when you're done.

While you're here and about to write something so legitimate, I'm also going to recommend you check out Sunnyfall's video on gender in Warrior Cats. She breaks down the arcs into numbers, directly comparing the amount of lines mollies have to toms, and examining the archetypes women are usually allowed to be.

I think it's a must-have citation in a paper about WC misogyny.

...and, I think it's insightful to look at the WCRP Forum thread about the video. Note how the respondents immediately come into the thread to complain about how the video is too long so they didn't watch it, dismissing Sunnyfall as not being entertaining enough to hold their attention, even whining that she starts with statistics to prove her point, which I'm convinced she did exactly because they would have cried that she "had no evidence" if she didn't.

I am not a scholar, so I don't know how to document or prove that the books have an impact on the audience outside of anecdotes. But I think if you do write a section about fandom, it would be worth mentioning the in-universe and metatextual apologia for Ashfur and its reflection in the real world discourse, the authorial killing of Ferncloud because of fan complains, and the utter defensiveness against the discussion of misogyny you see outside of Tumblr.

You may also want to check out Cheek by Jowl, a collection of 8 essays about sexism in xenofiction by Ursula K. Le Guin. There's a very unique manifestation of authorial bias in animal fiction, having a lot to do with how the author views "the natural world," and it's worth understanding even though Warrior Cats are so heavily anthropomorphized.

So... Warrior Cats Misogyny

I think discussing individual instances can be helpful, but I'd implore you to keep in mind what's REALLY bad about WC's misogyny is framing and the bigger picture.

Bumble's death is shocking and insulting, but it's not just that she died. It's that the POV Gray Wing sees her as a fat, useless bitch who took his mate so she deserves to be dragged back to a domestic abuser, and he's right because the writers love him so much. It's that Bumble's torture and killing only factors into how it's going to hurt a man's reputation.

It's how Clear Sky hitting, emotionally manipulating, or killing the following women,

Bright Stream (pressured into leaving her home and family)

Storm (controlled her movements and yelled at her in public)

Misty (killed for land, children stolen)

Bumble (beaten unconscious, blamed nonsensically on a fox)

Alder (child abuse, hit when she refused to attack her brother)

Falling Feather (scratched on the face, subjected to public abuse and humiliation)

Tall Shadow (thrown into murderous crowd, attacked on-sight in heaven)

Rainswept Flower ("blacked out" in anger and murdered in cold blood)

Moth Flight (scratched on the face for saying denying medical treatment is mean, taken hostage in retaliation against mother for the death of his own child, which he caused)

Willow Tail (eyes gouged out for "stirring up trouble")

Is seen as totally understandable, forgivable, or not even questioned at all, when killing Gray Wing in an act of rage would have been "one step too far" with the ridiculous Star Line.

"Kill me and live with the memory, and then let the stars know it would only matter if a single one of your murder victims was a man."

It's the way that fathers who physically abuse their kids out of their ego (Clear Sky, Sandgorse, Crowfeather) aren't treated anywhere near the same level of narrative disgust and revulsion the series has for "bad moms", even if they're displaying symptoms of a post-partum mood disorder (depression, anxiety, and rage), an umbrella of mental illnesses 20% of all new mothers experience but are heavily stigmatized with (Sparkpelt, Palebird, Lizardstripe).

It's Crookedstar's Promise giving him two evil maternal figures in a single book, while bending over backwards to make every man in a position of power still look likeable in spite of the fact they're enabling Rainflower's abuse. Leader Hailstar is soso sorry that he has to change Stormkit's name for some reason, in spite of leaders being unaccountable dictators the other 99% of the time, and Deputy Shellheart functionally does nothing to stop his own son from being abused or even do much parenting before or after the fact.

It's the way men's parental struggles are seen sympathetically, and they don't have to "pay for it" like their female counterparts (Crookedstar's PPD vs Sparkpelt's PPD, how Daisy and Cinders are held responsible for Smoky and Whisper being deadbeats, Yellowfang's endless guilt for killing her son vs Onestar's purpose in life to kill his own), even to the point where a father doesn't have to have raised their kids at all to have a magical innate emotional connection to them (Tree's father Root, Tom the Wifebeater, Tigerstar and Hawkfrost).

It's less speaking lines and agency for female characters, being reduced to accessories in the lives of their mates and babies, women getting less diversity in their personalities, with even major ex-POV characters eventually becoming "sweet mom" tropes.

You could zoom in on any one of these examples and have an amoeba try to argue with you that "Oh THIS makes sense because X" or "Ah well my headcanon perfectly explains this thing" or "MY mother/girlfriend was abusive/toxic/neglectful and I've decided that you are personally attacking ME by having issues with how a character was written or utilized," but the beleaguered point,

That I keep trying to hammer in, over and over, across books worth of posts,

Is that these are trends. More than just a couple one-off examples. It's the fabric that has been woven over years, showing a lack of interest in, or even active prejudice of, women on behalf of the writers.

LONG STANDING trends, which have only gotten worse as the series progressed. From Yellowfang being harshly punished with a born evil son who ruins her life in TPB and the mistreatment of Squirrelpaw that begins in TNP, all the way up to the 7 Fridgenings of DOTC and Sparkpelt's PPD being a major character motivator for her son Nightheart.

So, I would stress that in your paper, and structure it less as "the Sparkpelt slide" and "the Yellowfang slide," and more as "The paternal vs maternal abuse" slide, and "the violence against women" slide. They're really big issues, there's tons of examples for each individual thing.

Anyway to leave off on a funny, look at this scene in Darkest Hour that I find unreasonably hilarious,

"Everyone who matters to me; my truest friend, my sensible and loyal warrior, the wisest deputy I've ever known, and 2 women." -Firestar, glorious idiot

He can't even think of a single trait for either of them what the hell does "formidable pair" mean lmaooo, when I finished a reread about a year ago this line killed me on impact.

#bone babble #cw misogyny #warrior cats analysis #SO good luck!! Absolutely ping me when you're done I wanna see lmao #Full disclosure I'm bad at responding to DMs because I open them and then forget #But I can try to answer your questions #Feel free to send questions in tho. You don't have to come off anon if you don't want i don't mind #I cannot stress enough. I'm just a guy who likes to yell about cats.

[bioethicists]

black women have been grappling for decades with the fact that they organize with + live alongside + love men who are both given only conditional access to male privilege AND wield violent, structural power over them. they have generated libraries worth of compassionate theory which engages with the destructive impact of misogyny on men, the way in which being seen as a Real Man is conditional for marginalized ppl, the dangers of separatism + the importance of leaving nobody behind. these are not new ideas + they are absolutely necessary ideas for moving towards total liberation.

however, most foundational black feminist/intersectional feminist (in the tradition of angela davis) theorists have discussed these concepts without: minimizing or erasing the concept of misogyny, falling back on lesbophobic stereotypes (ugly man hating dykes!), repeating antifeminist propaganda (not all men!), abandoning a focus on structural power + material impact, engaging in bad faith identity politics which silo identities (tokenizing some while ignoring others, constructing weird hierarchies of which oppressions 'cancel each other out'), or individualizing oppression/identity/power (things which happen TO us + AROUND us, not within us).

respectfully, these theories of feminism which include + acknowledge men's pain are already happening- there's a reason those aren't the theories/practices you're exposed to. these theories often do lack trans voices, but you aren't adding our voices to these stories. you are creating a new theory of oppression built on a foundation + critique of white neoliberal feminism + based largely on anecdotal experiences in predominately white communities. you are replicating all of the flaws of white feminism.

#im just. so tired #all of the compassion + nuance + solidarity u are looking for is there in black feminism #but u guys looked at white feminist theory + decided it was the focus on WOMEN that was the problem #instead of the focus on WHITEness + individualism

[starwikia]

suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am. 

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions. 

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT. 

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

#warning: do not read this post if you want me to be nice to james somerton. i am extremely mean in this post. #before anyone accuses me of shit i legit never contacted him myself or anyone involved. i am someone who witnessed this behavior repeatedly #again. i hope hes alive and well. the fact is him lying about this WOULD BE THE IDEAL SITUATION. BC NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THAT. but. #he HAS to forever be the victim in his eyes. attempting doesnt automatically mean youre free of sin. #its just terrible to see that regardless whether or not he did do it #its very clear his attempts to run away from his consequences are working on some people #we need to acknowledge that if your shitty ex friend can weaponize a threat to kill themselves #so can this internet person after being called out for horrendous shit #like what was the alterative? what were people supposed to fucking do? be nice about it? #yeah as if poc and trans women arent historically given shit for being 'too mean' about wanting justice. #this isnt just the plagiarism this is the fact a white dude has been parading himself as THE speaker for the gays(tm) but has been using hi #gayness to shield himself from his misogyny racism transphobia and antisemitism #its very clear regardless this means that ppl r going to side with him and then give him benefit of doubt #if you cant handle the heat stay out of the fucking kitchen dude. this is the consequences of your fucking actions. #hes a disgusting person who cant handle being told no so hes going to drag everyone down with him #like. idk this entire situation is frustrating to me. #its also frustrating ppl trying to be moral abt it like 'see! i knew this was bad all along!' no you didnt. shut it. #for the record im like mainly talking abt twit watching those spineless uwu cutesy ppl basically saying hes done noting wrong #oh and also alt righters who are clearly weaponinizing this where u know they wouldnt give a shit if a right ytber did this. #james somerton #idk might delete this later its just. ugh...

[genderkoolaid]

hey! if you have the spoons, would you happen to have any posts/anecdotes refuting this thread? https://www.tumblr.com/neondyke/719263498717233152/nonhoration?source=share

so. one of my big problems with how we talk about TERFs is the sort of conspiratorial energy some people have towards them- not in that TERFs don't lie about their beliefs, but the idea that all radical feminists are part of this huge conspiracy where none of them actually believe any of what they say. The idea that no TERF actually, genuinely cares about women, or gender non-conforming people- or that none of them hate men.

Just because TERFism is misogynistic, harmful to GNC people, and often allies with conservative men, does not mean every TERF hates other women, GNC people, and likes men. Its vital to be critical of what TERFs say vs what their actions say- but we do ourselves and them a disservice by shoving our fingers in our ears and essentially saying that no TERF can be genuine, and I actually know what they really believe in their hearts. This is especially important when you aren't interacting with high-level TERFs (especially those making bank off public appearances & books & shit), but like. regular smegular everyday women who got radicalized, or people who are on the verge of being radicalized and are put-off by people who seem to be incapable of seeing TERFs as having genuine beliefs.

I say that all because the idea that TERFs aren't misandrists, that they don't really hate men, is just straight-up ridiculous. It assumes that radical feminism was born exclusively as a reaction to trans women, that none of its theorists or activists were genuinely trying to apply Marxist analysis to gender/sex dynamics and create a better world for women. Which ignores other parts of radical feminism, like their anti-sex work rhetoric/whorephobia. (If you have access to JSTOR, I recommend reading "Radical Feminism and Feminist Radicalism" by Ellen Willis, a former radfem; it dives into the problems with 60s radical feminism from an inside perspective).

I absolutely think TERF hatred for trans women is not exclusively a result of their misandry. This is because all transphobia is systematic, and everyone born and raised in transphobic society has transphobia woven into their thinking. So if you are a cis woman, probably one who has had traumatic experiences with misogyny coming from cis men- probably one with some interest in leftism, who is annoyed by liberal #girlboss feminism which feels lackluster, who is envious of the subversive, direct-action, "tear the system down" feminism of the past- and you have an unexamined, ingrained bias against trans people, well. TERFism will provide explanation and affirmation for your trauma and the promise of the radical feminist action of your dreams to allow you to lash out at your oppressors with the logic of the guillotine. Your unexamined bias against trans women will mean you don't see their transmisogyny as unreasonable, and even if you never really thought about trans women before, its gonna be real easy for you to accept them as a threat to Real Women.

But to assume that every time a TERF says "men" or "male," she means "trans woman," is just ignorant. TERFs are surrounded by cis men, because they live in the same society as us. They see cis men acting misogynistic, many of them have been personally hurt by cis men, they very much mean "cis men" when they say things like "all men should be castrated" or "all male babies should be aborted"- how exactly can you talk about males as a sex and never refer to cis men? When they talk about how using dildos or any sort of penetrative sex is patriarchal and Bad, that's not because they hate trans women, its because they see anything that could be associated with maleness as bad.

Here's a quote from Sylvia Riveria's very important work "Queens in Exile, The Forgotten Ones":

"Oh, yeah, we mixed with lesbians. We always got along back then. All the division between lesbian women and queens came after 1974 when Jean O'Leary and the radical lesbians came up. The radicals did not accept us or masculine-looking women who dressed like men. And those lesbian women might not even have been trans."

TERF hatred for transmasculinity goes back far before ROGD and the idea of transmasculinity as a social disease affecting "innocent young girls." Here's a quote from Leslie Feinberg's Transgender Warriors:

"A view that the primary division of society is between women and men leads some women to fear that transsexual women are men in sheep's clothing coming across their border, or that female-to-male transsexuals are going over to the enemy, or that I look the same as the enemy."

If TERFs have no real hatred for men or masculinity, why did/do they attack butches & transmascs? Why, before ROGD was the trendy way to attack transmasculinity, did they specifically attack us for being too masculine and therefore imitating the oppressor? The idea that trans women are the only ones blamed by TERFs for ROGD is also false- adult trans men, especially those with any public influence, are frequently blamed for "preying" on young "girls." (Also, fun fact: that last quoted paragraph ends with: "Trans people of all sexes and genders are not oppressors: they, like women, rank among the oppressed.")

Lastly, I feel like we- all trans people- have an issue of trying to match our genders & the way our genders do impact how we are treated, with the way our sexual/gendered misgendering also impacts how we are treated. For example, I am often frustrated by trans men who are resistant to talking about how trans men face misogyny because "it feels like misgendering." I don't think we can really deal with transphobia unless we cope with the fact that we are trans people- we are socially placed between genders and punished for that, and that means that we will be attacked because of our relationship to our gender assigned at birth (although not exclusively). See this post for more of my thoughts on that.

Obligatory "please don't harass any of the people in the screenshot above, just block them & move on" notice

#m. #ask box #transandrophobia #transmisandry #anti transmasculinity

[roachleakage]

So, I need to talk about something I've seen from the "trans men aren't REALLY oppressed/are exaggerating their oppression" crowd. And that's the claim that you must believe these things about trans men and transmascs, because you heard them from trans women, and it's important to listen to trans women!

Because yes, it is absolutely important to listen to minorities when we talk about our own oppression. And that includes listening to trans women when they talk about theirs. But the thing is? When you internalize claims that trans men are actually super privileged, and are just trying to claim that we suffer gender-based oppression for brownie points, you aren't listening to trans women about their own oppression. You're listening to people who aren't transmasc - some of whom might, in fact, be trans women - talk over transmascs about our oppression.

Now you might be wondering, what's the difference? After all, a lot of minority groups have rightfully pointed out when certain demographics enjoy particular privileges they don't, so it might sound pretty sketchy to say that trans women who seem to be doing just that are really just talking over us about our oppression. And there's a definite validity to that... up to the point that the claims being made rely on actively ignoring the oppression we do face, or on anecdotal evidence to prove a supposed sweeping problem.

So, here's an example of a claim that I would consider reasonable:

"Trans men, in many situations, may benefit from male privilege. This is especially true if they are stealth, read as heterosexual to those around them, and are of a privileged race for the area they live in. A trans woman in a similar position would enjoy certain privileges from those other factors, but would still have to deal with misogyny."

This is a straightforward statement regarding a material difference between trans men and trans women. Here's another reasonable statement:

"Trans men are capable of perpetuating misogyny, including transmisogyny."

Again: completely true. We are neither cis nor trans women, and are fully capable of both holding shitty ideas about women, and acting on those ideas to the detriment of said women.

Now let's take a look at some unreasonable examples.

"Ter/ves don't actually hate trans men. All their hatred is directed toward trans women, and trans men are just collateral damage due to being trans. Anyone who says otherwise is transmisogynist."

Well, OK. Ter/ves definitely do display a disproportionate amount of hatred toward trans women, but we've also seen them say some incredibly hateful things about trans men, so this claim is blatantly false. Furthermore, it seems to be based on a very simplistic understanding of how a te/rf feels about gender. Let's break it down:

Men are bad.

Women are good.

Trans women are "really" men (bad people) who are trying to escape accountability by becoming women (good and therefore supposedly immune to accountability).

Trans men are "really" women (good people) who want to become men (bad people) and this is... fine, somehow?

Yeah, in actuality we're seen as traitors to the female gender at best. And that's ignoring all the times we've been accused of being sexual predators who are trying to groom innocent lesbians and children into joining our ranks.

Here's another one:

"Transmascs have both AFAB and male privilege. Transfems cannot benefit from either male privilege (because they are not men) or AFAB privilege (because they were not assigned female at birth)."

So here's where I developed one of my favorite bullshit tests for this kind of rhetoric: if a claim being made about transmascs' supposed privilege could also be applied to a cis women and called "female privilege", it's bullshit.

For example, it's been claimed that all AFAB trans people are privileged because if we don't want to be seen as predators, we can simply detransition and be seen as cis women, allowing us to be perceived as innocent and incapable of harming others as above.

I think - or at least, I certainly hope - that if you said this about a cis woman, most reasonable people would call it out for the bullshit it is. First of all, this is an incredibly hetero- and white-centric statement - I can assure you that queer and nonwhite women are not traditionally assumed to be pure and innocent (modern bullshit about "pure Asian women" notwithstanding). Secondly, while a straight white woman being perceived as innocent can be a privilege in certain situations - she is certainly capable of weaponizing this perception in order to harm other marginalized people - at the end of the day, it is still a product of misogyny and misogynist beliefs, and will also hurt her in many aspects of her life.

So yeah. So-called "AFAB privilege" is just "female privilege" that's been shoehorned into a pseudo-progressive narrative. Don't fall for it. Also, don't fall for narratives that say any trans person can "simply detransition" and be awarded gendered privilege. Being misgendered is not a privilege, end of discussion.

So by now, I hope I've given a good demonstration of the kinds of arguments I'm talking about. And now, I'd like to circle back to the main reason people give for perpetuating these claims, and what makes this justification so damn disingenuous.

"It's important to listen to trans women!"

Yes. Yes it is. But "listen to trans women" doesn't mean "assume that everything every trans woman ever says is gospel". There are trans women who believe in TE/RF ideology. Trans women who supported Donald Trump. Trans women who outright believe that transmascs and nonbinary people aren't even really trans.

These are, of course, rather few and far between - but that's just another reason to stop describing this bigotry as "listening to trans women". You are painting trans women as inherently bigoted toward transmascs, and none of us are benefiting from that.

At the end of the day, doing right by a minority group doesn't mean throwing away your ability to think critically about what its members are saying. If you do that, you're going to end up hurting the very people you claim you're trying to help, while being taken advantage of by those who are acting in bad faith.

#transphobia #anti-transmasculine bigotry

[batbeato]

Was reminded today of Rosatrice. I am actually one of the people who went and watched all nine hours of the theory so that no one else has to, so I might as well share my thoughts.

A lot of the focus of Rosatrice is more in the idea of "someone tried so hard to disprove ShKanon with Rosa = Beatrice that they spent 9 hours on it", focusing on the humor of that and of the implications (for example, Rosa and Battler being romantically involved somehow, or of Rosa hiding under the bed waiting to kill Eva in Episode 1). But having watched the theory, I have a slightly different impression of it.

For example, the theory creator claims that Beatrice and Battler aren't actually romantically involved (despite the... canonical EP6 marriage) and instead have a platonic love (which makes sense for the theorist, given that Rosa is Battler's aunt). Rosa's focus on Battler is because he is an outsider to the family who has returned after six years, and, if I remember correctly, she takes part of Shannon's relationship with him (the promise to return) into her own Yasu mythos (in this theory, Yasu is a persona Rosa creates as part of her guilt about the death of Kuwadorian Beatrice). Yasu and Shannon are related in that Rosa takes from Shannon's relationship with Battler and life experiences to create Yasu.

However, more than the humorous and illogical aspects of Rosatrice, more than even the "fake death drugs" that the theorist purports the culprit's usage of, I was really struck by the theorist's perspective on Umineko and on the fans that believe in ShKanon theory. The theorist calls ShKanon theory stupid, simple, and obvious, and I believe at times directly calls people who believe in it similarly insulting epithets. He genuinely believes and claims that Umineko is far more complex than ShKanon (which he claims is simple and anyone would understand ShKanon after Episode 7, which I know from anecdotal evidence is not the case) and that he is one of the few, if any, people who have truly understood Umineko, going past even Ryukishi's Word of God "lies" about it (yes, he claims Ryukishi lies in interviews to preserve the secret hidden truth). He also claims that the anime holds secret clues about Rosatrice, believing that Ryukishi had a very high level of directorial control over the anime to the point he was using it to give us extra clues about the secret, hidden truth.

But, more than even that, more even than elements like the belief that Ange's entire timeline is not the truth and that the true timeline is Episode 2, wherein Battler dies and in his delirium hallucinates the remaining episodes, I associate Rosatrice with the bigotry of its creator. I associate it with descriptions of Shannon as a "weak little girl", the use of the r-slur, and with the misgendering of Lion/Sayo as "he/him". I associate it with the elitist mindset that his interpretation of Umineko is better and more valid than anyone else's.

I do believe that the Rosatrice creator has a lot of love for Umineko - but I believe that their own bigotry and narrow-minded perspective weakens and destroys their credibility. Theorizing about Umineko in older spaces, from what I gather, was more of a community activity than a competition. It's probably a good thing that people primarily remember the humorous aspects of Rosatrice theory, and how out-there it seems, but I do wish that people would bring up the toxicity of its creator more, at least in passing. If we forget, we may be doomed to have another nine hour theory filled with the r-slurs, misogyny, and insults towards the community appear.

#umineko #umineko no naku koro ni #umineko spoilers #rosatrice

[peridot-tears]

While Blue Eye Samurai is about how Edo-era Japan was hostile to women, and highlights the strides Japanese society has made then, let's not fall into the trap of thinking misogyny is in the past.

I saw this comment while scrolling, and it really highlighted a sentiment I've seen in a lot of another posts, not just this one:

Yes, we have made incredibly hard-earned gains in women's rights, but if you are a woman athlete or soldier, it would absolutely be turned into a big deal.

In the United States, for instance -- a western country that consistently praises itself for its progressive feminism -- women still see high sexual assault cases in the military. (source, source, source) You can see that I chose three very different types of sources that count the numbers differently, but they all come to the same conclusion. I remember the fucking fit people threw when women were finally allowed to join the infantry unit in the last decade on the basis that women are physically weaker than men and couldn't possibly hold their own in that position, when women had already been serving in non-combat positions that already required a shitton of physical work.

I'm going to fully admit I don't know what Japan's numbers are in the military, but I've always viewed women's rights as similar to here in the US. Anecdotally, my friends from there have told me about how in Japan, when a man and a woman are in a relationship, the woman is expected to be less smart than the man, which I always found similar to the still-lingering attitude here in the US where men are expected to make more than the woman. Not to mention that the whole reason there are women-only cars and buses on Japanese trains is precisely to protect them from perverts.

I'm not writing this post to dunk on the people with the mentality that things are better now, because hell yeah, a lot of things are! I just want us to remember that the reality is that in the US -- where the creators of Blue Eye Samurai are from -- and Japan, where the story is set, women's rights are not perfect, and both countries are still patriarchal societies.

I'm also wary of these kinds of sweeping statements about stories set in East Asia, because I have seen in past fandoms this idea that western progress is the only progress that exists in the world. I remember a particularly icky set of comments and reblogs that insisted that the society of Mo Dao Zu Shi (a Chinese story) would be vastly improved by putting democracy in its place, which is the biggest fucking imperialist dogwhistle I have ever seen.

I haven't seen this similar sentiment in Blue Eye Samurai at all...yet. But you'd be surprised at how easily people come to these conclusions, and how little they question it.

#also as a female asian american athlete #i've had to deal with ALL of these issues #the western imperialist dogwhistling the small dick energy the bioessentialism the objectification of women #blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu #netflix blue eye samurai #bes #tears falling like peridots

[jewishvitya]

Something frustrating is like.

"This is the bigotry that I see in my daily life in this society. It's widespread and normalized and it practically makes you an outlier if you don't hold this attitude."

"Can you give an example?"

"Here are examples from my experience. They're not the extremes, they're the norm."

"Sounds like you have a problem with these individuals."

It makes me want to scream.

Sometimes it's from conversations about misogyny or queerphobia and things that impact me. This time it's from trying to share with someone the racism against Palestinians that I see in Israeli society. But every time it happens, it's like. These anecdotes are meant to illustrate. They're not the entirety of the issue.

#riki babbles

[papermatisse]

As You Are || C.BG

♧ pairing: regency!choi beomgyu x reader

♧ genre: angst, fluff

♧ word count: 6.7k

♧ warnings: depression, historical anecdotes, misogyny

♧ synopsis: a lady is expected to wed early, lest she grow out of a desirable age before meeting her significant other and producing offsprings. so what happens to someone who manages to surpass this narrow age range without having married?

♧ (a/n): hello! this is an old fic of mine I wrote for my friend biaswreckingfics on her birthday! I was revisiting some older works, stumbled upon this forgotten fic, and decided to bring it back. since it was written for my friend in mind, her features are taken into consideration (so tall reader). hope you like it!

check out my friend's works as well! she has a new sangyeon fic in the making!

main masterlist

It is a rather saddening truth, that a woman's worth is determined by her eligibility in finding a suitor worthy enough to bring honor to her family name. Because of these circumstances which our protagonist finds herself in, girls are raised to be the perfect contender in the ruthless competition of matrimony. Childhood seems to end in a single breath, and by the next inhalation, they've traded their dolls for cooking utensils and sewing kits, training for their inevitability. This is how it is, and this is how it shall always be. And yet some just seem to never quite grasp these universal truths.

From the moment she gained sentience, it seemed as though (y/n) was just another breed entirely. The kitchen became more a wasteland than anything else. Her embroidery could be identified by the specks of crimson blood adorning her incomprehensible cross stitch. The laundry would somehow return more filthy than when it had first been collected. It's known that girls are naturally taller than boys at a young age, though (y/n) continued to surpass the boys of her age group in height, her legs extending to the point that she deemed it superfluous for her to continue her waltzing lessons with such clumsy, gangly limbs—at least that's what she insisted, pushing aside the fact that she never really understood the basic maneuvers in dancing even before she had grown so tall.

Indeed, (y/n) seemed to be a lost cause. And after seven failed suitors, her mother finally gave in and accepted the fact that her first born daughter was to be an old maid till the end of her days. And so here lied (y/n), writing away in the privacy of her room, her one safe haven from the pressures of society and the expectations of her family. Seated at her desk, freshly inked quill in her hand as she jotted down her stories, the chill air of autumn seeping through the window she faced, and the only sounds filling her room was the scraping of her writing implement against the smooth parchment. If only this could forever be her world. Away from those inhibitions which plague her life, left alone with just her thoughts in tranquility. Though this peace lasted for no more than a few moments before she heard the telltale light footsteps descending down the stairs, followed by the familiar rapping at her door. And as per usual, (y/n) hadn't but a moment to gather her thoughts before the door was pushed open, and in came (y/n)'s youngest sister.

Their family consisted of three girls. There was the eldest, that being (y/n), of course.

The second eldest was named Eleanor, meaning light-hearted and shining. She was soft spoken with a melodious lilt to her voice which seemed to enrapture anyone in the room. So it wasn't a surprise that she was the first, and so far the only one, of the three to be married.

The youngest was called Aurelia, a name which carried as much grace as she displayed. Golden one was what it meant, and she seemed to naturally fit into this title bestowed upon her. Refined in how she acted and portrayed herself, and she was as delicate and dainty as a lisianthus.

And as elegant as her name dictates, Aurelia came waltzing into the room, her steps as light as air and a bright smile adorning her face.

"Oh, (y/n)," she sighed. "I couldn't be happier than I am at this very instance."

"And why's that?" Aurelia all but collapsed onto her sister's bed, yet another story escaping past her lips.

"I had yet another wondrous rendezvous with Beomgyu."

Of course. Yet another spiel regarding her potential fiance. Why had she even bothered to ask? All Aurelia talks about these past few weeks is Beomgyu. He was the son of a Lord, and a gentleman among men. Though (y/n) wasn't aware of the circumstances in which they first met, Aurelia insists it was love at first sight, and that she had finally met the man she wished to spend the rest of her life with. As absolutely delighted as (y/n) was for her sister, she couldn't help but feel that familiar twinge of envy within her. That she supposedly wasn't suitable enough for the happiness which comes with sharing your life with another soul, a natural phenomena which has been occurring since the dawn of man. The thought that her ancestors, whom all married and given birth to her other relatives, have managed for so long only for her to be the end of their efforts.

"And as we walked through his estate's garden, he told me that I was fairer than any flower could ever possibly hope to be."

(y/n) controlled her expression, wanting so desperately to cringe at the repulsing display of affection, choosing to hum in acknowledgement. Who in their right mind has the gall to say such outlandish words as that?

"Aurelia!" Their mother's voice sounded from the first floor, garnering both of their attentions. "It seems you have a guest." Aurelia all but bounded off the bed and down the stairs as (y/n) slowly followed after. As she neared the steps, she could hear the shrill tone of her sister's excited voice, as well as an unfamiliar male one responding. Once (y/n) rounded the corner where the steps now faced the front door, she could see the source of this additional person. "(y/n), come meet our guest."

A man stood at the entrance of their abode, greeting their mother whilst having his arm entrapped in Aurelia's embrace. As he turned to face her descending the stairs, (y/n) felt her heart stutter in surprise.

Never before has she seen a man as ethereal as he. He seemed to not only easily tower over her disappointingly short sister, but also herself, a rarity in her community as she is usually the one to have to lower her gaze upon meeting a person. His hair was rather long, brushing against the back of his neck as well as curtaining much of his ears and forehead. Beneath the veil of brunette locks, however, lay a set of round eyes, deep yet as saccharine as the shade of chocolate they obtained. His nose was tall and straight, sloping down into a rounded tip which further softened his already rather youthful appearance. His rose-like lips spread into a jovial grin, round eyes crinkling endearingly. (y/n) felt absolutely stupid as he introduced himself, bowing his head ever so slightly in a respectful manner.

"Good evening to you, Lady (l/n) . I'm pleased to make your acquaintance."

"As am I," (y/n) warily spoke, attempting to keep her facade. Hoping to not reveal how genuinely awestruck she was to see such a handsome man. "To you, of course. Not my own acquaintance."

At this, Beomgyu burst into a fit of enthused laughter, intermingling with Aurelia's giggles from below them both.

"Isn't my sister such a delight!" Aurelia squeezed his arm to gain his attention, causing the two to drop their heads to acknowledge her. "Let's all have tea together! I know you only came to drop off my gloves, but I'd love for two of my favorite people to be familiar with one another."

And so there they sat in the parlor, an otherwise peaceful encounter if it weren't for (y/n)'s inner panic. She had never been good at etiquette, and never had to really use her limited knowledge, as she remained in her room rather than becoming a socialite much like her sisters. And so she kept a careful eye on Aurelia, attempting to follow her lead as best she can, concentrating so intensely that she had completely abandoned the conversation at hand.

"Would you agree, (y/n)?"

"Pardon?" She raised her head to where the two across from her sat staring back at her. "I apologize, my mind was elsewhere."

"Oh, that's entirely understandable, and also kind of takes us back to the topic at hand." Aurelia smiled once more, cradling her teacup and saucer close to her. "In which I was explaining how difficult it is to combat what your body naturally desires. For instance, the way your body just seems to follow along when a familiar tune plays," she slowly raised the teacup to her lips, "or perhaps correcting muscle memory." As she sipped her tea silently, her eyes traveled up to (y/n), though failing to meet her eyes. Instead, her gaze landed upon (y/n)'s hand, holding her teacup as well, though without a saucer, as well as extending her pinkie. She quickly tucked the finger back against her palm, just like her sister, which placed the joy back unto her face. "Isn't this delightful!"

"Indeed," (y/n) sighed out, tossing her head back and finishing off the tea in her cup. When she placed her dishes unto the table between them, she looked over once more to the two. They both had smiles across their face, though Aurelia's was in an attempt to hide her shock at (y/n)'s crude etiquette while Beomgyu's was pure, unadulterated enthusiasm, having to duck his head down at one point to conceal his amusement.

"If you'll excuse me," Aurelia stood up, hands neatly folded in front of her. "I need to powder my nose." Once she exited the room, Beomgyu burst into laughter once more, a sound unlike anything (y/n) has ever heard. It was full of vigor, uncaring of his environment, and just absolutely buoyant. It was so different to what she had heard from the front door before. This felt genuine, perhaps the first dose of honesty she's experienced from another person.

"Pardon me," Beomgyu wiped at his eyes, as if having shed a tear from his moment. "I've never seen Aurelia so close to snapping, that was absolutely hysterical."

"You're not offended?" (y/n) asked, softly chuckling in disbelief at the display before. Beomgyu lost the rigidity in his spine, now strewn back on the sofa cushions like a ragdoll.

"By what? Your lack of etiquette? I thought it was quite hilarious, in all honesty." (y/n) leaned back on the sofa as well, following the casual demeanor he was now exuding.

"Well, most people do indeed think my etiquette is laughable, though not in the good way."

"So be it. Etiquette is vexing in itself. I've never been a fan of learning it."

"Neither have I." He glanced over upon hearing her response, the edges of his lips twitching up ever so slightly. Though they remained silent afterwards, there seemed to be an air of comfort shrouding them, a feeling which (y/n) thought only possible in her own fiction. To be so aware of another person, entrusting of them, that the barriers which had been forticated for as long as she could remember began to slowly crumble, brick by brick. To voluntarily lay out what she's kept to herself for years, and to look at another person and not find ulterior motives beneath their mask of regality, concealing any and all signs of their humanity as they paraded about in luxury and grandeur. It felt so... relieving to (y/n) to have found another human amidst a world of mannequins.

Though once Aurelia returned, the masks were once more put up, backs straightening as she made her way back to her suitor.

That's right. Her suitor. The thought pained (y/n) in a way, though she brushed it off, savoring the last few moments with her new associate before he had to return to his own estate.

"Thank you for the tea," Beomgyu stated, bowing once more as Aurelia returned his gesture with a quaint curtsy.

"Thank you for the company." He then turned to (y/n), that same gentle smile from before gracing his features as he bowed his head to her.

"It was an honor to meet you."

"And you, as well." With one last nod of his head, Beomgyu departed.

"Isn't he just the sweetest soul you've ever met?" Aurelia squealed as she closed the door. And though she had already walked away from the foyer, (y/n) stood for a moment more, face heating up as she couldn't help but agree with her sister's query.

Days had passed, and the autumn chill had devolved into the winter cold. (y/n) spent most of her days bundled in blankets beside the fireplace, going through book after book in her collection. She could barely even turn the pages from her numbed fingers, let alone attempt to continue her writing. And beside her was her sister, similarly wrapped in a plethora of coats and layers, though the one difference between the two was the rather apparent distaste of the temperature on (y/n)'s part. Aurelia reveled in the cold, absolutely abhorring the sweltering heat of summer, and though she very easily became freezing with just the briefest of breezes, she still loved the frigid sensation which overwhelmed her body.

Which is why (y/n) now found herself away from her beloved fireplace, left shivering out in the unforgiving frozen hellscape because her sister wanted to celebrate the first snow. To make matters worst, Beomgyu stood beside (y/n), watching Aurelia frolic in the snowy landscape to her heart's content.

(y/n) was still shaken from her encounter with the man prior. She had assumed the event would have been long forgotten after a good night's sleep, though that did not come easy, as the boy had found a comfortable spot at the forefront of her mind.

She felt disgusted with herself. How easy it was to conjure the sounds of his laughter, like a lullaby placing her in a state of tranquility. How the coy grin he wears so often manages to set her heart aflutter. How she was so capable of etching his face into her memory. The guilt she felt every time she closed her eyes and envisioned him looking upon her with those doting eyes of his.

This was her sister's suitor. She needed to ground herself. Settle back into reality. Move past this sudden infatuation she has with him.

"I've always despised the cold." Beomgyu broke her out of her thoughts. She turned her head to see him looking down at her, that smirk on his face once more.

"So have I."

"Oh, so it doesn't run in the (l/n) blood?" (y/n) chuckled at this, shaking her head and turning back to Aurelia, already beginning to make a snowman.

"Absolutely not. My sister and I have both loathed winters."

"There is indeed beauty to a winter, though I agree. That beauty is rather surface level, and the further in you dig, the more suffering you'll uncover."

(y/n) huffed out a breath, watching it condense into a wispy cloud before fading away.

"Indeed."

A comfortable silence fell upon them once more as they watched the snowman slowly come to life. Naturally, (y/n) seemed to lean closer to Beomgyu, the heat of his body radiating off him in waves and seeming to lure her to him. Though she must've been rather obvious in her pursuit for warmth, because Beomgyu cleared his throat, startling her away from him.

"Here." He reached up and began unraveling the scarf around his neck, causing (y/n) to shoot her hands up and grab his wrists.

"No, please, keep it on."

"I insist. I would hate to hear that you became sick after this." He continued in removing his scarf, but (y/n) persisted.

"Well, I would equally hate to hear you have gotten sick." Beomgyu paused, widening his grin as he faced the snow beneath him. After a moment, seconds after (y/n) believed she had won the battle, he turned to her.

"Then it's only fair I at least share my scarf with you."

(y/n) stared at him incredulously as he offered the loose end of his scarf, though after she remained frozen in her place, Beomgyu reached over her, gently wrapping the other end around her neck. He had grown significantly closer to her, his nose almost skimming the skin of her forehead. The warmth of his breath fanned against her face, and she hoped that he'd assume the blush creeping up on her cheeks was nothing more than a result of the bitter winds.

He stepped back once he completed his work, though not far at all, laughing as the material tugged them back together, shoulder to shoulder. His scent was imbibed in the knitting, a warm sensation of cedar and coffee, seemingly swarming her in a sense of solace. Another glance to Aurelia, and it seemed her snowman was very nearly done, having donated her own scarf to him. She began making her way back to them, and (y/n) panicked, attempting to convince herself to remove herself from Beomgyu, though staying perfectly still as she approached.

"(y/n)! May I borrow your mittens?" She asked, supposedly unbothered by the display before her. As if by muscle memory, (y/n) shed her mittens, handing them over to her sister, who gratefully accepted them and made her way back to her creation. Though the mittens themselves weren't doing much to protect (y/n) from the cold, she still missed the near damp material that she believed was keeping her warm. Before she could even slip her hands into the pockets of her dress, a warm hand suddenly enveloped her own, tugging her closer to snatch the other one as well.

"What are you doing?" (y/n) questioned, the rosy tint of her cheeks increasing tenfold as he rubbed his palms against her clasped hands.

"Preventing you from getting sick." He explained. Before she could refute him, he raised their conjoined hands, breathing out unto her skin. The heat traveled up from the pads of her fingers directly to her chest where her poor heart seemed to thud away in nervousness. As if to make matters worst, he leaned in ever so slightly, eyes still trained on his task between them. "I like the way your hands fit into mine."

(y/n) yanked her hands away in a panic, staring back at Beomgyu who proceeded to only laugh fondly at her actions. Just as she untangled herself from his scarf, Aurelia returned, smiling brightly at the two of them.

"I've completed him! Let's have tea now." She linked her arm with Beomgyu, who shot (y/n) another glance before turning back and continuing his walk with Aurelia.

For weeks, it continued on with interactions such as this. Beomgyu approaching (y/n) only to have her scramble away in fear. Whenever Aurelia was busy, whether that be out shopping or spending time with the other ladies of high society, (y/n) found herself in the company of Beomgyu.

What had first begun as coincidences, him visiting only to be met with the absence of Aurelia, soon became frequent occurrences, to the point that it'd almost seem like he was only visiting on days he knew she'd be gone. He also had begun just automatically asking for (y/n), not even attempting to see if Aurelia were present.

What once was simple home visits became full fledged outings as Beomgyu insisted on taking her out once the snow had dissolved away. Though the air was still crisp and the threat of snow still lingered, it already seemed like winter's grasp on the land was begrudgingly weakening by the day.

So now here she sat in a rowboat, gripping a parasol as Beomgyu gently rowed them down the river. Though she had at first refused, Beomgyu continued to regale her with the forecast, telling her she'll never see a day as beautiful as this one. That he wanted ever so badly to share this splendor with her. At this point, (y/n) knew she was developing feelings for the boy, and she sensed he knew this and was using it against her. Yet her grumbling has all but ceased as she basked in the glory of the day.

It seemed as if spring had decided to make a brief appearance in January. The sun was out, its rays seemingly encompassing the earth in a golden haze. Sage greenery greeted her with every turn of her head, aside from the clear water below her that murmured with every jostle of the boat. And even as nature displayed its grandeur in such a way, her eyes still lingered upon the one who dragged her out of her house.

It was quiet between the two, with only the trickling sounds of water surrounding them, and yet (y/n) has never felt so at ease. Her heart ached at the thought of Beomgyu. How close, and yet so impossibly far from her he was. Because no matter how much she yearned for his touch, his affections, his everything, he was still and always will be her sister's.

These thoughts still lingered in her head, even as Beomgyu brought the boat back to shore and helped her out with the offer of his hand, she felt the immense guilt clutching at her, refusing to release her as long as she still saw him in such a way.

She glanced down, seeing how he was still holding her hand as he led her away from the shore. He often did reach out for her at times, and though she'd occasionally allow him to, she'd also pull away if it lasted too long. Though at this very moment, she couldn't find it in herself to slip away from his touch. As if noticing this, he stopped walking, turning around to face her.

His eyes were so soft, that same gentle brown she was becoming more and more obsessed with. Warm and smooth like melted chocolate, as if she could dive in and never resurface, though she wouldn't ever complain. The corners of his lips pulled up in a smile, and the grip he had on her tightened ever so slightly, as if hoping to keep her from slipping away again.

"What are you thinking?" (y/n) asked, snickering at Beomgyu's sudden expression. He paused for a moment more before exhaling through his nose in a subtle laugh.

"It's just much easier to look upon you," he whispered, though they remained the only ones in the general vicinity. "Yes, you do indeed give my neck some relief from craning downwards always," the two of them shared a giggle before he proceeded, "but I also find you... incredibly charming."

"Charming, you say?" (y/n) questioned, continuing to walk forward and cease the conversation, though Beomgyu still held her hand, not allowing her to abandon his touch.

"Charming. Fascinating. Endearing." He pressed on, tugging her in a way which caused her to spin back and face him. "Unique. Ambitious. Genuine." He stepped closer to her, so close she could once more feel his breath against her skin. "Lovely. Beautiful." His forehead leant on to hers, noses brushing together. "Flawed in the most perfect of ways." His voice gradually dropped until it was no more than a murmur under his breath, though his words revolved around her, muddling her mind with inner conflictions that all seemed to corrode away with just the mere thought of him and the way his hand was now resting on the side of her neck, thumb brushing against her cheek as he leaned in more and more.

She lowered her head, feeling the warmth of his lips brush against her forehead as she narrowly evaded his kiss.

"We can't." Beomgyu remained quiet for a second more before quirking his head to the side, attempting to meet (y/n)'s gaze now trained on the grass between them.

"We are both capable adults." She squeezed her eyes shut at how casual he was taking the situation, cursing him as she was forced to suffer the past few weeks because of him.

"I can't."

"Why not?" At this, she tossed her head back up to look at him, brows furrowed in confusion as he continued to smile.

"Are you mad? My sister adores you."

"Yes, she does." He confirmed with a nod.

"I will not hurt my sister's feelings in such a way." Beomgyu's expression faltered, his smile vanishing as his eyebrows lowered in confusion.

"And what of my feelings? Am I to be condemned to her side 'til death knocks upon my door? Are my feelings not any of your concern?" He squeezed the hand still in his, pressing his forehead once more onto hers. "I adore you, (y/n). You're correct, I am mad. Mad to have once believed for a second that I could marry Aurelia after having met you. Mad to have thought I could lock my true feelings away. Mad to have fallen so deeply, endlessly in love with the one person out of my grasp." Moisture welled up in her eyes, her lips quivering as tears freely cascaded down Beomgyu's face. "(y/n), I am so madly in love with you." With shaky hands, he lifted her own to his face, pressing his lips unto the vein of her wrist before laying his head in her palm, his eyes remaining shut as his tears had begun soaking into her gloves, the moisture which seeped through sending jolts of anguish through her. Her body wracked with silent sobs, never before having endured such a painful experience. She wanted so badly to accept him, to kiss his tears away, embosom him to her and reassure him that she wouldn't ever leave his side. And yet, she found herself retracting from his touch, despair shuttering out of him in a broken, defeated sob which cracked her heart like glass against the floorboards.

"I can't."

She hadn't known what was left in her, what had compelled her to continue forth with this narrative she was keeping to. She hadn't known what motivated her to turn and walk away, abandoning the boy who willingly gave her his entire being, leaving him as but a shell of his former self.

At some point, she knelt down on the ground, knowing she was out of his sight, though still close enough to hear his cries which filled the atmosphere. Her body quaked with emotion, stomach churning like snakes twisting and coiling, Her jaw had dropped, though no noise left her, caught by the lump which formed in her throat. Her body wept for the boy she had let go, and though every fiber of her being seemed to claw away at her, demanding she turn back for him, she proceeded to drag herself back home.

The next few days had been torturous. As if tormenting her already darkened mind, the snow had returned, though rather than the fluffy whiteness she had spent with Beomgyu, it was practically black outside. The winds beat against her window, demanding entry as she fought her demons. She couldn't even will herself to lay beside her sister beside the fireplace. Her dear sister.

Aurelia was constantly checking upon (y/n). She didn't know what seemed to plague (y/n), though she persisted in taking care of her. Collecting every blanket in the house and layering them all on top of her. Bringing her food and insisting she eat. Even pulling aside her writing chair to keep her company, away from their precious fireplace just to ensure (y/n) wasn't lonely. As sweet as this all was, (y/n) couldn't help but ask her to leave her be for the time being. The mere sight of her sister reminded her of what she had done those few days ago.

Due to the storm, luckily, Beomgyu hasn't visited, allowing (y/n) some comfort in knowing he's most likely safe and warm in his own home. Her heart ached, the last image of Beomgyu being his most vulnerable, broken self. She knew she'd eventually see him again, but she dreaded that moment. She still loved him. She couldn't face him. Not like this.

More days passed, and the snow seemed to lighten up a bit. However, the mood of the house seemingly shifted whilst she was locked away in her room. The halls were quiet, the parlor empty, it seemed the only life in the house was the few servants moving to and fro.

No Aurelia in sight.

It had only taken a day for one of the maids to answer (y/n)'s questions. Aurelia had received a letter and hasn't come out of her room since. She rarely ate, rarely ever moved from her bed. It seemed the depression which had struck (y/n) had transferred to her younger sister. And so here she stood, at the top of the stairs leading to the attic where Aurelia resided. She knocked, though there was no answer.

"Aurelia?" She called out, knocking once more. Nothing. She bit her lip, clenching her fist in anticipation. "Aurelia, I'm coming in. Okay?" Silence.

She pushed open the door, greeted by the cold air which struck her upon entry.

Having been further from the main area of the house, this room was always the coldest, though Aurelia had insisted she was fine there. Even after Eleanor had moved out, she said she didn't want to tamper with Eleanor's childhood room. Always so considerate of her sisters, yet had been left on her lonesome.

The air was still, a stale scent lingering as if the room had been left empty, though the lump under the bed proved that false.

"Aurelia?" (y/n) whispered out, approaching her sister's limp body. Her shoulders moved steadily, as if in deep slumber, but her eyes remained opened, red rimmed and puffy, the only sense of color to her otherwise pale complexion. Her hair lay lifeless over her, her lips chapped from the frigidity encasing her. (y/n) brushed back her hair, wincing at how cold her skin was. "Aurelia, what's the matter?"

The only indication of her having heard the question in the first place was the shutting of her eyes and a slight shift in her blankets. Nothing more. (y/n) stood up, ready to go retrieve the necessary items to take care of her before she saw a letter lying haphazardly on the center of the floor.

(y/n) went to pick it up when she suddenly froze. The first word to have caught her eye as she got closer.

Beomgyu.

She gulped, crouching slowly to pick up the letter, hands shaking as she grew closer. The edges of the parchment were crumpled, and a few letters blurred with water damage, though the contents of the letter were still apparent.

A breakup letter.

His penmanship was sloppy, word choice even worse, and though the letter was absolutely a travesty, worthy of hatred from any person who received it, (y/n) couldn't help but feel her heart wrench at his words.

I've fallen in love with another. And I cannot find myself marrying anyone else. Nor would that be fair for you to have to manage me, a hopeless case. I sincerely apologize.

"He didn't love me." A voice croaked behind (y/n), gravelly from lack of use. When (y/n) turned, she was greeted by the same image as before, unmoving as she continued to speak. "What had I done wrong?"

"You did nothing wrong." (y/n) insisted, shuffling on her knees back to Aurelia's bedside. "None of this is your fault." (y/n) rubbed her hand along her sister's forearm, both in an attempt to relieve her and warm her. "Emotions are a complicated manner. Some may spend their lives devoting themselves to their loved ones, while others will merely accept said love and be on their merry way." Aurelia remained quiet for a second until speaking.

"What does Beomgyu's love feel like?"

(y/n)'s blood ran cold, perhaps even colder than the state of the room itself. Aurelia rolled over, her empty, sunken expression now facing her. She stared expectantly, awaiting the answer from the only person in the world who could answer it. And though (y/n) felt the compulsion to play it off, pretend she hadn't any idea to what her sister was eluding to, she could see it would've been redundant, as Aurelia knew.

"He unquestionably gives his entire heart when in love," (y/n) began, unsure why Aurelia would want to torture herself more, though still abiding to her request. "Thinks more of the other than himself. The simplest way to appease him is to allow him to show you his devotion, whether that be accepting his every word or just merely giving him a hand to hold." (y/n) allowed the memories of Beomgyu she had been forcing back to play once more in her mind, tears returning to her own eyes at the thoughts of the sweet boy she had met this winter. "He's someone that, although he can be insufferable at times with his shenanigans, you wish to spend your every waking moment with him until your last breaths."

She gazed back at Aurelia who observed her with hollow eyes, absorbing every word spoken. Though she remained still, (y/n) could practically see the gears turning in her head.

"You refused his love on my part, and so I now insist you reciprocate his feelings for my sake," Aurelia grumbled, groaning as she pushed herself up. (y/n) helped her along the way until she was now in an upright seated position.

"What do you mean?" (y/n) asked, breaths became more shallow as she anticipated her sister's intentions.

"Well, who am I to come between true love, wouldn't you agree?" She spoke in a dry chuckle, placing her hand atop (y/n)'s. "Go on. You deserve to pursue your happiness. Thank you for everything." As brief of an encounter as it was, (y/n) felt the emotion seeping from Aurelia, the acceptance hidden beneath her layers of apathy.

So (y/n) found herself trekking through the snow, coat upon coat protecting her from nature's assault upon her. Though the further in she got, and the closer she was to her destination, the lighter the snowfall seemed to get, as if the forces of the universe were cheering her on in her endeavor. She ignored the ache in her feet, the shake in her arms, the numbness upon her face. When the manor had come into view like a beacon in the night, she pressed on, huffing as she attempted to increase her speed through the tracks of snow in her way.

She flinched as she knocked on the door, unsure if she were too loud or too soft, though before she could attempt to knock again, the door swung open, revealing a startled maid upon seeing her—a tall figure encased in snow and fabric, seemingly a creature crawling forth from the shadows. Before the maid could truly process what was before her, a voice from behind startled them both.

"Who's at the door?" (y/n) peered in through the crack of the entrance, spotting Beomgyu approaching the two. She called out to him, voice muffled by the five different scarfs wrapped around her neck. And with only a glimpse at her eyes, Beomgyu widened his own, reaching for her sleeve and tugging her in. "Heavens, what in the world are you doing parading around in this storm, you could've died. You could've gotten lost and I wouldn't have been able to find you. That's rather reckless, you should know better, you're an intelligent wom—"

"I love you," (y/n) interrupted as Beomgyu had peeled off her final scarf. He froze in his spot, blinking away his shock at the sudden confession.

"You what?" He asked, voice low, afraid his volume would startle her off and shatter this dreamlike aura.

"I love you. From the moment I first heard you laugh to right now, and until death knocks upon our doors," she laughed in reference to his own words, shuffling closer to him as he warily raised his arms to drape around her. "I love you, Beomgyu. I love you with as much love contained within me and then some."

"(y/n)," He laughed in disbelief, tears already escaping his eyes, pure wonderment at the situation at hand. "(y/n), I love you."

He leant in, finally pressing his lips to her own. His warmth overwhelmed her, starting from his touch upon her frozen skin to the depths of her heart slowly healing from his absence. He cradled her to him, as close as he could with the fabrics built between them. Even as her ice like fingers pressed against the nape of his neck, he continued to push on, the two pouring into each other the adoration they had been abstaining from revealing, reveling in the light airiness of their now reciprocated feelings. Even as they pulled away, noses nuzzling together, embracing their first few moments as a couple, (y/n) could feel her heart throbbing in joy.

She'd finally found her one true love.

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[metamatar]

While I mean obviously one of the major reasons (American) football is gender segregated is misogyny, I’d also point out the level of homophobia that is experienced by girls playing “masculine” sports. Specifically speaking as a rugby player in the US, the prominence of lgbt women in the sport as well as the assumption that anyone playing a contact sport (or tbh any sport) is a lesbian has led to chronic underfunding esp at the local level. Not sure statistically, but anecdotally I’ve heard a lot of players from other countries express that US rugby in particular is a very Gay Sport comparatively to countries where rugby is an official sport in local schools (as opposed to more independently run grassroots orgs governed by unions the way it p much exclusively is in the us). I’d say this personally intensity of homophobia increases in older players, esp after the opportunity for college scholarships based on sports is no longer relevant.

I’d say generally that sports are seen very much in the US that boys/men do for fun/prestige/masculine supremacy vs something women/girls do for social advancement/scholarships/networking. Obviously there’s some overlap and some sports are seen as more “feminine” than others (volleyball was my first thought)

Volleyball is feminine? What??

I'm sorry about the homophobia! The dynamic you describe is common to the rest of the world though, where female athletes are assumed to be lesbian and this gets worse as the sport gets more contact heavy. But outside of the US, I feel like there is not really such thing as a 'feminine' sport – gymnastics and figure skating maybe but they're not popular at all where I'm from. Its more like all sports are generally only serious business for men, and girls who play do it because they were a bit crazy or hadn't grown up.

Tennis for eg, which often has had the world's most recognizable female athletes feminizes them quite forcibly with mandates on wearing skirts. The "scandal" of Billie Jean King and Navratilova's sexualities was often described as the end of the women's tour by hysteric commentators. A lot of early tennis writing contrasts itself as a more respectable for women than other sports, but as the narrative around Battle of the Sexes stuff illustrates, ofc it was a men's game first. Due to the misogyny, chronic underfunding, lack of interest from sponsors and so on in general women's sports tends to be far more openly political – and hence the prominence of openly lesbian and bisexual women. I'd push back on LGBT. Transphobia & esp transmisogyny is rampant, women's sport functions as both a cultural battlefield and as a staging ground for the deployment of invasive tests and polices about what a woman is. Caster Semenya's case is instructive about how racism and intersexism end up collaborating in the transphobic hysteria ongoing in women's sport.

#sports