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cyberdragoninfinity · 7 months

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I'm gonna apologise in advance for how dark this is, but looking at your recent Placidodumping from the tag force games... i feel like he's geniunely suicidal, and even if not exactly suicidal then he has no concept of self-worth.

Like, he's way too happy to die. Being willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of the future is dark enough. But the fact that he's saying he will be able to rest? That he's expecting you to be happy to die too? Yeah, that's the darkest part.

Placido's literally come from hell, but he's not even trying to save himself. He's not just acceptant of his fate, he's welcoming it, and it makes me wonder just how much he's been through. His despair, is it entirely from the memories he's been created from? Or is it from something else? *coughcoughashittyoldmancoughcough* Thinking of the Jakob part in tag force, how he straight up killed Placido and Lester, how he spoke about them, I feel like it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume he's said these things to Placido's face (and let's not forget how Zone spoke to Placido-and only Placido- in duel links)

Perhaps Placido's real despair wasn't the inherited trauma from Aporia.

Maybe it was the way he was treated by the only people around him. One of his duel links lines is "it's so sad when you have no one to love" and yet the other Iliaster members are right there, as family. And yet, he didn't get love from them.

Maybe he could have been saved if someone did love him. Maybe then he would have had something to live for.

(Apologies for the mini essay in here it was supposed to be a few sentences and then suddenly I've written an essay)

OH YEAH NO FOR SURE we are definitely WELL past the point of Primoplacido Yugioh 5D's having a true sense of self-worth in any emotional or psychologically 'human' way, but I think when analyzing that (and his behavior that could definitely be labeled some form of suicidal) it's important to approach it less from a "oh what [abuse/traumatic event/negative feedback] has he personally been through to cause this" and more from a "what are the circumstances of Primo's creation and how does that effect him." The former is still an important element of course, but it's a bit of a disservice to his character to attempt to 100% separate him from Aporia when dissecting what's going on with him; one really can't exist without the other! (i.e. Primo was only brought into being via Aporia's memories and suffering, and Aporia as we see him in-show only can be brought into being when the emperors fuse....the cyclical infinite nature of these characters runs very very deep hehehe)

imo it's not an either/or situation with Primo's despair--I think his completely fucked sense of self worth stems from the trauma he's inherited by being a piece of Aporia AND the bullshit he deals with from his peers currently AND, also, the inescapable fact that Primo was Created To Act Under a Specific Set of Parameters. more after the cut, lots of analyzing this miserable Swordbot9000, apologies for the Epic of Gilgacidomesh

Primo is not human. IM NOT SAYING THAT TO BE MEAN TO HIM OR ANYTHING he's just Literally Not a Flesh and Blood Human Being; he's a machine created from a dead man's memories and emotions by Just Some Guy who thinks he's god, and due to this Primo has deemed himself Above humankind--better than them, more capable than them. Sometime I need to go off more on my Emperors analysis discussing the fact that theyre basically Mechanical Angels, BUT FOR NOW I think a very core trait of Primo's is the fact he doesn't see himself as human, and he takes great pride in that. He's less come from hell himself, I'd say, and more or less come forth from Someone Else's Hell and Now He Has to Live With That. And also he is completely, almost desperately devoted to his God. If anything, he sees himself as a tool blessed by god Himself, with a great power he will use to enact justice upon this wretched timeline.

He sees saving the future as a very important task he needs to complete (and he DESPERATELY wants to be the one to complete it himself, more on that in a moment,) and I think that in part is why he's so excited about "finally being able to rest" and welcoming his fate--it means that he has completed what he was made to accomplish, the way a computer would complete a process, and why would he ever want to "save" himself from savoring that experience? (reminds me of how in TF6 lester is like "why would I want to run away?" re: trying to escape the Ark Cradle crashing into the city--it's not just a Primo thing, this sort of lack of self preservation!) (Also considering primo's track record of failed plans, no wonder he would be Especially obsessed with completing the Circuit and getting the cream of the crop "glorious honor" of dying in Z-one's name in God's Very Citadel and preventing the catastrophic future. That IS his will to live; he doesn't know how to have another one 😬) Dying in the process of the Ark Cradle crashing onto New Domino isn't seen as a 'sacrifice' for these guys I don't think; it's seen as an inevitable conclusion to what they were brought into existence for.

(Also, while we never really get complete confirmation on this, I do think Z-one also Definitely programmed the Emperors to worship him, to act with such dedication to the cause, to work ceaselessly towards their goals despite years (centuries?) of failures, and not stop, not give up. And I think that, alongside the fact they're effectively gijinkas of the most traumatic moments of Aporia's life, robots built from misery, quite literally Embodiments of Despair, that's not just flavor text. It's what powers them. And it explains a Lot of why they act the way they do, especially with regards to something like Primo's 'suicidal' behavior. In fact, I don't even think they would see this way of thinking as "suicidal," even, since that implies being alive in the first place, and the emperors…um. don't see themselves as 'alive!!!' :,) kind of fucked up to think about!!!!!)

OK SORRY FOR THAT TANGENT IT'S JUST SOMETHING I THINK A LOT ABOUT WITH THESE GUYS the inherent discussion of humanity when it comes to a robot. anyway, re: the way Primo's peers treat him, yeah i don't think that's helping much !!! Primo seeks approval like he'll die without it, he's an android copy of how much it Sucks To Be 19; like I said above, he desperately wants to be the one to complete the Circuit, to save the future, in the dub he basically states he wants to be God's Favorite, so course that brings him into conflict with Jakob (the implied actual Favorite,) of course Z-one apparently REPEATEDLY not giving a shit about him is doing damage to his psyche.

He gets clowned on and demeaned by effectively all of his coworkers (including and especially these other pieces of himself) (good GOD), no one even seems to LIKE HIM. LIKE. AT ALL, of course he wants to feel important to someone!! he probably (definitely) thinks if he can complete the Circuit he'll win favor with God, get the respect and attention he craves. I've talked before about how I feel like Z-one condemned his dead friends to the same loneliness he's become cursed with, and you REALLY see that with the Emperors and Primo especially. Aporia got split into threes and all three of 'em somehow ended up even lonelier than they would have been as one body--Primo is SUCH A MISERABLY LONELY GUY. HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO INTERACT WITH PEOPLE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON BECAUSE HE WASNT PROGRAMMED TO BE A NORMAL PERSON.

sure yeah his chronically unpleasant to be around attitude doesn't help, but in the Tag Force games you see these repeated little moments where you can tell he enjoys your company, he's Excited to spend time with you. I get the impression half of him thinking you should be happy to die too is just that he's so excited to share what he considers the ultimate culmination of what he was created to do with you (if TF5 is considered 'canon' in TF6 he might even be under the idea youre also an android--but that's a kettle of fish for a different time, primo's TF5 route is also insane). This isn't suicide to him! This is saving potentially billions of people! This is something really important to him, and he wants to share it with you!! Our hard work will pay off and we can rest!! This is the highest holy honor you can have!!!!! Aren't you excited???

I just wouldn't say his continued agonies are Solely hinged on what's happening to him currently, nor are they what are driving him to this supposed lack of something to live for (again, since ridding the world of Momentum IS his something to live and persevere for, since that's what he was made to do.) I'd argue they're definitely external factors exasperating an internal problem built into his very code, though, and it just makes Primo's situation all the more harrowing to think about. He has got so much shit going on with him and none of it is good. "I feed off my own despair" OK COOL BUT THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING, DUDE. BEING A MACHINE POWERED BY YOUR OWN MISERY AND ANGER IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF. He was literally Built to Harbor Someone Else's Agony. If you keep dropping straws on a camel who was born with a back already covered in 'em, of course it's only gonna get worse, regardless of how much the camel thinks suffering makes him stronger and above humanity!!!

I do agree, though, that things maybe would have gone so much differently if someone outwardly, properly expressed love and affection to this poor guy. If someone told him he mattered in a way beyond his programming and divine mission. That taunt in Duel Links, the way he actually says it, it comes off as almost this snarling scornful jeer, but he looks so sopping wet sad saying it.

He is the embodiment of "losing those who you love" and you have to wonder how that manifests with him, despite the fact that, like... he doesn't Know Eurea. he didnt even know she existed until Z-one put him back together and told him the truth of what he is. I wonder if Primo feels the itch to inflict that same pain of losing your closest love on other people (a trait Aporia also Very Much Has.) Or if he's written himself off as unlovable entirely (😢)... or if 'disgusting humans' are just beneath his sky high standards. And, yeah, you really do have to wonder why he doesn't class the rest of Iliaster as someone to love, why he gets along so poorly with the other Emperors in the first place. Did Z-one also program them to not fucking get along with each other??? Was this also some 6D chess bullshit to actually hinder their progress even more??? Is this indicative of just how bad Aporia's mental state was/is????? CAN WE KNOW!!!

this is all just theorizing and guesswork at the end of the day, but it's a lot to think about, and i love ruminating on it. I personally think Primo's fixation on having no one to love stems from a combination of things, and the fact some of it is coming from these vague feelings of agony baked into him from when Aporia lost Eurea is, like, GOD. MAN. I also think at least a little of it may be just that Primo thinks he doesnt 'deserve' anyone to love properly, and also that the Emperors are so divorced from humanity in their eyes that to "love" one another, or to see each other as 'family', is absurd and a waste of time (though if they actually fully believe that, who knows--it definitely seems like Primo cares quite a bit about Lester. wahhh ;;; ) Like. They're literally this post. In the Tag Force games Primo always acts kind of jumpy and almost shy when youre nice to him??!? HE DOESNT KNOW THAT ONE. AND IT'S SO SAD.

WOW. OK. THIS GOT AWAY FROM ME A BIT. APOLOGIES!! tl;dr: yeah Primo's sense of self-worth is complete dogshit, the ghost of Aporia's suffering over a woman Primo has never met or known haunts his circuitboards in a way that can't be ignored, and that plus the fact he gets treated with disdain by his closest cohorts (which may be due to their God's 'divine' decisions) are definitely exasperating his issues and behavior. BUT, that being said, that's actually probably the least of why he's shown to be so excited to die, and the actual reasons that seem to be at play are a lot more horrifying! :D Primo largely sees himself as a means to end rather than as a person (he is a beautiful machine, a half motorcycle agent of justice and punishment, and far mightier and above miserable humans like Yusei Fudo,) and THAT'S largely because he was programmed by his creator to see himself that way. He is a computer built to complete a task and shut itself down. He was made to serve his God at the request of His long dead best friend for the good of a future he isn't meant to actually see.

i dont really have a conclusion, but I think a lot about this post with regards to the Three Pure Nobles.

Maybe Primo could have grown beyond his programming, if he'd been exposed more properly to love and kindness. and i hope you want more for him too. im going to bed and going to think about this until i fall asleep. ok bye

#thank you for reading this ended up VERY long but. it has pictures :3 dfhghfg MINIESSAY FOR A MINIESSAY....#I JUST HAVE. A LOT TO SAY ABOUT PRIMO AND ABOUT THE EMPERORS. WAUGH.#though next time maybe makin a text post and @'ing me would be easier for this sorta thing 🤔#this bad boy made tumblr crash when i tried to open my askbox on mobile HHDFGHDSF #asks #ygo posting #angel-of-sweet-revenge #placido #iliasterliker9000 #yugioh 5ds #long post /#THE SUN IS. COMING UP. I AM GOING TO BED FOR REAL

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lazarus---rising · 6 months

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Normal guy voice

#Imgonna take so long to finish this miniessay 👍 it does not even cohere yet

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obitv · 1 year

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wish english was a cooler language like "problem" thats such a boring word. fadhb is cool

#writing a miniessay about the problems in irish society and seriously this is my new fave word i love it. fadhb. its so fun to say #if not for the fact americans have never heard thag other lamguages are pronounced differently and would horribly butcher it id make it my #name

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nyxityidv · 5 months

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with how many characters identity v pretty much every character can be defined as "like character y, but!" with a few characters as initial starting soil to give some examples, seer can be described as 'giving gardener's effect to a teammate regardless of range', while "psychologist" somewhat does the same with 'selfhealing', with similar downsides (taking time of stillness to preform, having to regain uses via staring / healing, making your own abilities 10% weaker), and then postman repackages female dancer like this, but more split up, and with a cooldown (and old novelist does urgent letter but stronger with outline >w>)

and then on the hunter side compare smiley face, a character with a [potentially infinite] fast dash with full turning that can damage survivors with less hitstun and break pallets, and has antiheal or a way to speed himself up with breaking wheel, who has a no time limit wheel form with limited turning that can apply an effect that equals damage that can be used to instadown removing some of the value of healing with pallet breaking, and an ability to speed himself up

#this is kinda a miniessay on design with no real thesis but also this all adds up to my confession #that it took me having a dream in which i played 'pseudo cowboy' to realise that new novelist is more of a cowboy variant than a magician

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a-stone-slab · 10 months

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Attention Pokémon Fans: one of the main characters canonically uses He/They, and I have proof.

From the trailer for Pokémon Scarlet and Violet released on October 6th we learned a lot of information, including Camera Mode, some gyms stuff, and more! But the biggest piece of information was the main characters and their canon names: Florian for the male, Juliana for the female.

Now, what does that have to do with a character using He/They, you ask? Well, everything. Here’s the trailer we will be analyzing for this miniessay:

youtube

Skip all the way to the photo mode segment around… 9:30.

There we see a bunch of trainers in their photos, but the key trainer is the one with green hair at the very end, who is revealed to be named “Florian”, which is the confirmed name for the male protagonist in this generation of games.

However, pay close attention to what the narrator of the trailer says

”Snap, snap! Looks like this trainer found the perfect style. Line up a good shot, and… snap! Now they’ve updated their profile picture!”

This is confirmed to by Florian because of the little trainer name at the “Profile Picture” line

We know it isn’t a generalized “oh hey look what they’re doing” because the earlier half of the trailer focuses on Juliana and the main quests of the game, opting to specify “She” and “Her” and “She’s heading to the gym.” multiple times with very slight emphasis.

The reason for this? The script wasn’t accidental here, it was completely intentional. Every word was carefully chosen to avoid any mistakes during the broadcast, and this was part of that intentional choice.

Because of this information revealed by an official source, we have confirmation that Juliana, the female protagonist uses She/Her, while Florian, the male protagonist uses He/They in these games.

#pokemon #pokémon #pokemas #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon florian #mini essay #Youtube

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goronska · 1 year

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Brain Fog in Suburbia (my notes on Liminal Land)

Previous "my notes on": [1][2][3][4] [5]

Let's say Backrooms had a very ambitious marketing plan ahead - infinite storage and living quarters when the overpopulation and overproduction goes out of hand in capitalism. And then the Ouroboros of Capitalism bites its own tail with a defeaning crunch. The goverment deal is off the table for the project, so it has to be sold. And a guy comes, with CHARON written on his business card, offering a hefty sum to take that problem off your hands. To make a bigger and better version of Disneyland on your premises. Infinite premises, remember.

This is basically how Liminal Land might have come to be. A sketchy individual seizing an opportunity. Or else Liminal Land is literal Tartar connected to Hades.

Underneath the usual found footage, people disfigured and mysteriously vanishing, password-protected sites, and staff training videos full of glitches and unsettling pointers, one can find two enormous stories, one bigger than the other.

The first one, is the history of religious practices brought into modern world (mostly in the setting of the 1980s), where we almost forgot there is no escaping death. There are still gods demanding sacrifices of human bodies and souls, devouring them in flames (DO NOT GO IN THERE) or trafficking them on a boat the other realm. To never be seen again.

Liminality is, over all, the concept of in-between, where you are not entirely dead, but not alive anymore either. Do not follow the light, the sounds, do not poke into your neighbours housing, just keep yourself to yourself and continue your boring existence. The same day over and over, with some distractions, so you don't feel despair when it's time to go.

The second one, is a story of modern media and entertainment again, consumed mindlessly, being called towards it. It DEMANDS your attention. To the point where you stop caring about your family (the first Anomaly case), your work (the second one), or feel you have lost much more time than you should have (the third one). Once your eyeballs are glued to the media, do not look away, do not stop, because you are forever trapped. The doors outside got blocked, removed, deleted. The real world is just an empty set of corridors and backrooms with disorientating, repetitive passages, much unlike the exciting stories films, games and series have on offer.

We're in this together. But we haven't survived May 20, 1989

PS This miniessay was based on 4 initial installments of the series (to be found HERE) and the touchpoint website (visit it HERE)

#my notes on #ARG #Liminal Land #uncanny feeling #backrooms core #youtube

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azeriairis · 3 months

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I'm going to rant a bit about Trinity

Okay so Trinity is one of my favorite Stargate Atlantis Episodes, but I dislike the ending, specifically the apology McKay gives to Sheppard. Sheppard's reaction is fine, though I'm a little annoyed that it didn't carry on to later episodes, so it rings a little hollow. McKay's apology itself is more annoying because it fundamentally feels like he learned the wrong lesson for the mess.

There's a lot below the cut because I essentially just wrote a miniessay on the potential Trinity had for developing Rodney McKay's character that was completely wasted.

"I'm sorry for messing up and I promise to go back to getting everything right again" is a bad apology because him making a mistake was not the problem. The problem demonstrated in Trinity is that McKay, by refusing to consider the concerns of other Scientists and the possibility that he may be wrong effectively opted out of any system that may have prevented his mistakes from spiraling out of control, and this is not a problem McKay is ever shown to acknowledge nor solve. Mistakes aren't really a problem, so long as you learn from them, allowing your ego to get out of hand to the point where you neuter any system that could've helped prevent your mistakes from causing harm because you think that you are so much smarter than everyone else is one.

Doranda was the perfect example of what the consequences of McKay's opting out can be, McKay fucked up, yes, but his mistake would've been caught and prevented beforehand if he was literally anyone else, but because of his position as Head of the Science Department nobody can force him to actually consider the objections and concerns of other scientists*, so even though it was caught by Zelenka, McKay had free reign to completely ignore his advice, resulting in disaster.

Honestly a reasonable consequence to his actions would be McKay getting completely removed from his position. In Trinity he showed that he was completely willing to abuse his position as head of the science department to get out of what is essentially the peer review process by refusing to consider any objections others may have. And someone who will do that, isn't someone who you want in that position. Instead McKay essentially just got a stern talking to, and by the next episode pretty much everything is resolved and back to normal. He never really learned nor grew from this incident, and it didn't really impact his relationships with other characters.

It just feels like such a waste, this could've been used to develop Rodney's character in so many ways, but it just wasn't. He continues to shame and ridicule others for making mistakes, when this could've been used to get him to realize that everyone makes mistakes at some point, so it's more important to have systems in place to mitigate the harm of mistakes when they inevitably do show up. And He continues to discount and ignore other people's concerns even though taking the time to do so would've prevented the Doranda incident from happening altogether.

And even if he doesn't learn anything from this incident it still should've impacted his relationship with others. I mean for one there's Radek who he disrespected pretty openly while he was present, but he's not the only one. John nearly died because Rodney decided to be reckless and ignore the advice of someone he apparently trusts. Or what about the entire rest of the science department? Their boss essentially just made it known that he doesn't give a crap about their opinions when deciding which route to go down, once he's made a decision he's going to do it even if you confront him directly about the potential dangers he'll just lambast you, ignore your input and keep going anyways. That will most definitely impact how someone approaches their work and their interactions with said boss. Elizabeth just saw her Head Scientist completely opt-out of any critique of his idea, something he could only get away with because of his position, that should have an impact. But does any of these relationships change at all? No.

I could go on but I'll just stop here. Maybe I'll do a rewrite at some point, but not right now.

*technically John and Elizabeth could but as neither of them are scientists they lack the scientific knowledge to evaluate this stuff and make an educated decision, leading them to generally just trust Rodney implicitly, which isn't a very solid check.

#stargate #sga #stargate atlantis #rodney mckay

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