#mdzs/au: ghibli | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taizi · 1 year

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I posted 5,607 times in 2022

224 posts created (4%)

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Blogs I reblogged the most:

@irldothewindything

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I tagged 5,605 of my posts in 2022

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Longest Tag: 130 characters

#and it’s like even if technically this is a virus that is causing people to hunt and eat each other u can still call it what it is

My Top Posts in 2022:

If you’d like another Rise prompt, maybe something about Donnie’s battleshell? If that’s too vague, maybe its origins, or maybe what Splinter thinks about it?

this is also set in the human splinter au <3

When Donatello was a baby, Yoshi didn’t worry quite as much about his soft shell. He and his brothers were all the same sort of fragile, questionable mutation and its potential effects aside, and Yoshi panicked over each of them an equal amount.

They played hard. They always wanted to climb and run and tumble. Yoshi is inclined to blame the ooze that psychotic goat-man alchemist pumped them full of, because blaming him is neat and comfortable and makes Yoshi feel warm inside.

But Yoshi has also spent a not-insignificant amount of his fortune on parenting books and magazine subscriptions, and according to the experts, children are just tiny crazy people who will run at full-speed into a wall multiple times for no reason.

Which is fine. Yoshi has been a papa for almost four years now and it’s quite possible that he’ll never want to be anything else ever again for as long as he lives. His boys have secured their place in his heart and no amount of broken windows or crayon-scribbled walls or gutted kitchen appliances (???) will change that.

The problem is that Donatello’s shell doesn’t afford him the same protection that his brothers’ do. He’s as fast and strong as the other three, and easily twice as smart, but he’s just not as hardy.

Yoshi has no idea what he would do without his credit card and his talent manager-turned-reluctant-godmother. Between the two of them, he has an answer for everything.

“I don’t want to,” Donatello announces before Yoshi has even opened his mouth.

“You don’t want to go roller-skating?” he says, affecting a tone of complete surprise. It causes Donatello’s chubby face to fold into an epic pout, which is adorable, which makes up for how frustrating he can be when he digs his little heels in about something.

“No, papa, I want to go. But I don’t want to wear that dum-dum thing.”

“Your Auntie Hala is going to cry for days and days when I tell her how much you hate the present she got you,” Yoshi tells him solemnly.

Donatello considers this. Then he says, “Don’t tell her.”

Ah, logic Yoshi can’t actually find fault with. He never would have guessed he’d spend his early thirties losing so many arguments with a turtle toddler.

“You are wise beyond your years,” he says, wondering what it will look like when Donatello is a teenager, and whether or not Yoshi will survive it.

The ‘dum-dum thing’ in question is a modified back brace, meant for children with spinal disorders. Yoshi is pretty sure this qualifies. The reason Donatello hates it so much is the modifications Yoshi made to it; namely, the memory foam cover for his leathery carapace. It’s bulky and it slows him down and he hates falling behind the other three. Lately he’s taken to sitting out of their games because he would rather tinker by himself than wear the brace.

Yoshi is a little worried about that. He hasn’t come up with a way to make everyone happy yet, and he’s losing sleep trying to figure it out.

Leonardo pokes his head through the doorway. “Papa you said we were going,” he whines. “How come we’re not?”

“Negotiations have broken down,” Yoshi says, kneading his forehead with his palm.

“Dunno what that is,” Leonardo declares and visibly puts it out of his mind as not his problem. “Don-don, come on. We’re gonna skate.”

“No,” Donatello declares. His mouth is screwed up, brow furrowed, fully ready to be a little monster about it. “I don’t want to go if I have to wear the dumb fake shell.”

Leonardo tips his head to one side, considering this. It’s no secret to his brothers that Donatello has no fondness for the brace. This usually culminates in one or three of them helping him to escape it, and then hiding it somewhere stupid for Yoshi to find like the world’s worst Easter Egg hunt.

“We’re twins,” Leonardo says with all the unyielding certainty of a schoolteacher discussing matters with an obstinate child. “So we have to share. I’ll wear it, and then Donnie will wear it, and then it’s fair.”

Somehow—Yoshi can’t believe this, but somehow the logic goes to work. Donatello’s expression shifts from mullish to thoughtful. The most stubborn little treasure in Yoshi’s entire life is giving ground.

“It’s fair,” he agrees. He and Leonardo turn their big brown eyes up to Yoshi expectantly.

Honestly, Yoshi can’t believe he’s not going to have to wrestle Donatello into the brace for once in their lives. He’s a little embarrassed his second youngest child thought of this neat little solution before him. It costs him absolutely nothing to agree, and he straps the brace onto Leonardo’s back instead. When they get to the rink, one that Yoshi has unapologetically rented out for the afternoon so his kids can play freely, they’ll switch, and Donatello will wear it while the four of them turn inline skating into a contact sport.

And nearly a decade down the road, when Donatello is building advanced technology the way other kids his age are building blanket forts out of the couch cushions and Yoshi’s best sheets (re: his siblings) and he has long-since traded the brace for an armored shell of his own design, he goes from absolutely refusing to put it on to pretty much never letting anyone see him without it, ever, or else.

Because no son of Yoshi’s would understand the idea of a happy middle ground. It’s all or nothing, go big or go home in this house.

This is when the twin thing continues to save the day.

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140 notes - Posted November 2, 2022

all the things that i could live without

rise of the tmnt pairing: don & leo word count: 1349 title borrowed from if i didn’t have you by banners post-movie

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“Hamato Donatello,” Leo said, his even tone riding the line of good humor and sternness both. “How much shell time have you had today?”

Donnie pointedly doesn’t look up from his iPad. Making eye contact in these moments is too risky. Leo can clock a lie with such accuracy that Donnie thinks it must be a secondary mutation or something, because it certainly isn't natural. The only reason any of them get away with anything is because Donnie’s twin is an agent of chaos, more likely to encourage their stupidity than put a kibosh on it.

Shell time, however, is one of Those Things Leo Takes Very Seriously.

“Scoff,” Donnie says. “I’ll take a break in a minute, I want to finish reading this dissertation I found about chronic musculoskeletal pain and physiotherapy. Not all of it can be applied to us, given that it’s written by humans for humans, but—”

“Dude, it’s like four PM.” Leo’s tone has made its choice, leaning away from amused and into firm. Nooo. “You’re not gonna be able to sleep tonight if you don’t stretch out soon.”

“And I will, soon,” Don replies. It’s the pinnacle of absurdity that they’re talking about his stupid spine when Leo is the one recovering from multiple traumatic injuries.

Leo doesn’t think so, because of course he doesn’t. He’s like a dog with a bone. His persistent personality has saved all their shells more than a dozen times but that doesn’t mean Donnie has to like it when it’s aimed against him.

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way,” the slider says with no small amount of showmanship.

Despite himself, Donnie glances up from his tablet. He can feel himself go soft to match his dumb shell, even if it doesn’t show on his face. He loves Leo so much, even when Leo’s being his absolute worst self, and right now Leo is being his best. Warmth unspools like fiber cable in Donnie’s chest, prickly and sparking.

They came so close to losing him. What would they have done without him? It’s frightening to think about. For once in his life, Donnie doesn’t want to know.

He sits back in his chair, ignoring the twinge in his lower back the way he’s ignored it for the past three hours, and says, “What does the hard way look like?”

“You’re gonna hate it.”

“Color me intrigued.”

Leo shrugs and starts to lift himself up. The infirmary bed is raised at an angle, to help Leo breathe and reduce the risk of pneumonia that has kept Don awake at night, but now he’s pushing himself upright all the way, kicking at his blanket with the foot that isn’t casted.

“Oh my god, stop, I hate it,” Donnie blurts, all but flinging his tablet aside in his rush to put an end to this nightmare. “You win, you monster!”

Smugly, Leo says, “I always win. Even when I lose.”

“Oh, you must be feeling better,” Don tells him, easing him back down with gentle hands that don’t match his annoyed tone. “Because once again, you are completely delusional.”

It earns him a chuckle, a wheezing shade of what should have been a loud, lively thing, but it feels like a victory anyway. Don will take it. He won’t let it go.

Leo pats the bed beside him. Donnie sighs performatively, but he’s turtle enough to admit when he’s been outplayed.

The battle shell disengages with a hiss of hydraulics and he sets it aside. It’s such an immediate relief to work out his shoulders, and twist his fragile spine, that he maybe should have taken it off earlier, after all.

“Bring your tablet over here,” Leo says. “I wanna watch that baking show where no one knows what they’re doing.”

Donnie settles in beside him, and he doesn’t outwardly fuss the way Raph and Mikey and Casey all do, but he’s very, very careful behind the casual manner. His brother’s body was so broken, almost beyond repair. He has months of recovery left, and as the team medic, Leo knows that.

But he did what he did for the sake of his family and now he just wants to be close to them. He doesn’t want to be shut away in the infirmary and tiptoed around and hugged so gingerly that the mean voice in his brain is able to convince him that the space and distance and reluctant touches are because he did something wrong.

That mean inner voice that Leo sometimes listens to is as much his siblings’ sworn enemy as the Shredder ever was.

So, after a clan meeting taken when Leo was finally, fitfully asleep, and one educational screening of Patch Adams that made Casey and Raph both cry, they decided to forgo all the values of traditional medicine and give Leo what he needed instead.

They’re hardier than baseline humans are, and if the Krang couldn’t kill Leo in its own dimension than it’s likely nothing can, and these are the arguments Leo makes to be allowed out of bed.

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156 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

for what it’s worth, it was worth all the while

rise of the tmnt pairing: raph & everyone, raph & casey word count: 2153 title borrowed from good riddance by green day post-movie

read on ao3

Leo’s arms squeeze tight around them for three seconds, four—and then they fall loose. He slumps forward and would have hit the ground if Donnie and Mikey didn’t scramble to support his sudden deadweight.

They push him back upright, and then ease him into a careful lean against Raph’s cracked plastron. Raph wraps sore hands carefully around Leo’s slim shoulders, hyper-aware of every cut and bruise on his little brother’s battered body.

Leo’s head lolls as if he’s asleep, or—as if he’s asleep.

The giddy relief of an extremely close victory drains away in favor of fear. All three of them are shaking with the leftover dregs of adrenaline.

“What’s wrong with him?” Mikey asks shrilly. He’s clutching Leo’s arm like he doesn’t trust Leo to remain solid if he lets go.

“You want that list alphabetically or in descending order of how much each issue complicates my life?” Donnie replies shortly, lowering the lenses of his goggles over his eyes.

If it were anyone else, Raph and Mikey both would have snapped at the inappropriately irreverent tone��but it’s Donatello. They know how he wears his worry. Whatever he’s picking up with his scan, it’s causing his lips to thin, and lines to tighten around his eyes.

He’s an engineer, not a medic—Leo fills that uncredited role—but Donnie is Leo’s usual extra set of hands in the infirmary, so he picked up a thing or two. Raph can tell, from the careful, deliberate way he touches his twin’s neck and feels around the base of his skull, that Donnie is mentally rehearsing everything he knows about head trauma and spinal injuries.

“It should be safe to move him,” he finally says, sitting back on his heels. Absolutely none of that worry, poorly moonlighting as dispassion, has left his eyes. “I want him back home in the medbay immediately. Like, a week ago immediately. But,” he adds, uncomfortable being the voice of comfort and doing his best with it regardless, “he’ll be okay.”

It’s like Raph’s shell was too tight right up until that moment, crushing his lungs and restricting his air. And now he can breathe again.

“Of course he will,” he chokes out.

“It’s not a medbay if it’s not on a spaceship,” Mikey replies absently, doing a decent job of sounding like he’s not on the verge of hysterics as he helps tuck Leo safely into the crook of Raph’s arm. “You normally just call it the spa.”

“Ninety-nine percent of the time we only use that room for mud masks and manicures. So sue me.”

“Alright,” Raph butts in, not unkindly, “we can argue about it later. I’m sure Leo will have some key points to add. Donnie, the tank is out of commission for the time being—do you have any other ride you could call for us? If not, we might need to, uh—borrow one.”

He can’t even bring himself to feel guilty about it. He would do a lot worse than steal a car for his family, even if it sets a bad example. Donnie’s frown deepens as he taps on his holo-gauntlet, which Raph takes as a sign that he doesn’t actually have a secret fleet of vehicles he can summon from now that most of his tech has been soundly smashed by the Krang.

“Way ahead of you, mister,” a voice chimes in from the comms, and as one, the turtles glance at the glowing emblem on Raph’s forearm.

“April?” Mikey’s voice shoots upwards gladly. “Hey! You’re okay!”

“Of course I am, what’s a little city-wide alien invasion? I went to public school. And you boys need to update me pronto! Splints and I have been losing our minds over here! We got Leo back?”

“Yeah, we got him,” Raph affirms. He holds Leo a little tighter. They very nearly almost didn’t get him. “You can thank Mikey for that.”

Their sister makes a choked noise, what was clearly a sob before she strangled it into submission. “Angelo, you’re getting one helluva hug from me the second I see you. Brace yourself, baby.”

“Consider me braced,” Mikey says. His smile is shaky, but he manages to keep it.

“We just picked up Future Boy, and we’re on our way to you now. Give us two shakes—maybe three. Traffic’s kind of not great.”

“Ten-four, Apricot,” Donnie says, and then the comm goes silent, and the three of them just sort of look at each other.

With help on the way, and nothing to do but wait, there’s time for the hurts they’ve been too busy for to finally settle in.

Raph can barely keep his right eye open, it burns so much. His left shoulder is a solid ache. Mikey’s hands are still shaking, and Raph thinks maybe it has less to do with adrenaline than he thought, and more to do with that golden portal he tore open out of sheer stubborn, inexhaustible love. And Donnie is sitting in that tense, stiff way he only does when his battle shell is hurting more than it’s helping, his mouth set in a firm line that Raph knows means he’s gone nonverbal for the time being.

Still… still.

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164 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

Prompt: rise!Raph’s relationship with sweaters/jackets and how they always tear

Raph is twelve when he finally gets the jacket he’s been dreaming of forever—since he saw it in a magazine April left in the lair weeks and weeks ago.

Pops doesn’t usually go in for new clothes. They’re harder for him to get his hands on, and Raph can definitely understand his school of thought—new clothes would only stay new-ish for a handful of hours, given the rough way he and his brothers tumble around and play.

But Raph really wants this jacket. And he swears up and down that he’ll take care of it, he won’t practice ninja or skateboard or play in it.

April’s mom works at a big fancy department store and she’s happy to use her perks for one of her daughter’s best friends. Pops has lots of ‘savings’ leftover from his old job, even though he refuses to tell them what he used to do, no matter how much they pester him about it. So on Raph’s next birthday, he gets the jacket.

He’s so excited. Normally his presents are things that he and his siblings can all share—and he’s happy with that! He loves to share with them! But this is nice, too. Having something that’s just his.

“Put it on, Raph, let’s see!” April says eagerly over the sound of his brothers’ raucous cheering, so as soon as Splinter hands it over, Raph does.

And it rips.

He can hear the sound of shredding fabric. It seems impossibly loud. It shouldn’t cut through the noise of the party like it does, but it does. Everyone gets very quiet.

The thing is—Raph is built different, just like Donnie. But where Donnie is soft, Raph is sharp. He’s always had to be very careful with his brothers, because one wrong move and he could accidentally hurt them. He’s grown up that way, being careful of others. He forgets to be careful with himself.

“Red, it’s alright,” Pops says quickly, laying a hand on his arm. “We can get you a new one.”

But the same thing would just happen again, no matter how many replacements they buy him.

Raphael is the oldest, and he has to set a good example, and throwing a tantrum or bursting into tears at his birthday party isn’t a good example. So he wrestles for control of his expression and says, “Let me just stick this in my room real quick,” and then vanishes as quickly as he can so the sniffles don’t start until his siblings can’t hear him.

In his bedroom, he slides the jacket back off, wincing when the torn parts of the sleeves catch against his rough skin. He wants to throw it far away from him, but it's still a gift. He sets it down instead, folded inward so none of the tears show.

When Raph gets back to the atrium, he’s managed to come up with a grin, and he waves away his brothers’ worried glances. April has forced the party back into momentum by sheer force of her substantial willpower, though she does spare Raph a soft, big-sister-look that promises they’ll be talking about it later.

Years and years down the road, that particular birthday is a crystallized memory, one he thinks back on a lot. It’s the first time Raph remembers hating something about himself. But he also remembers that the feeling only survived until that same evening, a few hours later, when Leo poked his head through Raph’s bedroom door.

“Raph, c’mon, birthday dinner.”

It’s tradition, by now, for each of them to end their birthday with their favorite takeout at their favorite place in the underground, just the four of them. (This has to be negotiated days in advance of the twins’ birthday, because arguing for sport, and sometimes in song, is one of their favorite hobbies.) Raph’s is easy, though—the City Hall loop station, with its massive arched ceilings and the beautiful broken skylights. Donnie even gets the lights on for him, so the whole place is glowing and warm.

He can already smell pepperoni and garlic. He can hear Donnie and Mikey talking further down the hall, a little more subdued than usual. He should go out there since they’re waiting for him. He doesn’t want to disappoint them, but he isn’t sure if he can find a cheerful face to put on. He thinks he wants to just…stay in his room, maybe.

Then Leo says, “But can I please wear your jacket?? Please please pleaaaaase, Raphie?”

Raph blinks, glancing up at him. The gaping surprise makes his tear-sticky face feel funny.

“The one I just got? Leon, it’s—” Ruined, he can’t bring himself to say. He can’t even bring himself to look at it.

“The coolest thing ever, I know,” his little brother says enthusiastically, pushing the door open the rest of the way and hurrying inside. He snatches the jacket up off the back of the chair it’s resting on and holds it out at arms’ length, admiring the details. “Honestly—can I be honest with you? I didn’t think much of it at first, like, when I saw it in the magazine. But after your modifications?” He whistles low, something he learned to do specifically to annoy Donatello.

“Modifications?” Raph says uncertainly.

“Yeah! DIY style is big, you know! And ripped clothes are in.”

Leo slides the jacket on. It’s comically big on him, and the holes in the arms are mostly hidden by the way the fabric bunches up; the tears along the shoulders are more obvious. It does something unhappy to Raph’s stomach when he sees them.

But then Leo starts posing in the mirror, and pats himself down for a camera he doesn’t have, and hollers down the hallway for Donnie to come get a picture of him.

It must be cool if Leo thinks it’s cool.

“So?” Leo asks with those big puppy-dog eyes he taught Mikey when they were little, to absolutely everyone’s detriment and Leo’s eternal chagrin. “Can I, Raph?”

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205 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

have this <3

oh i LOVE this, their expressions are so MUCH, you pulled this scene directly from the story with absolute precision, thank you for the food 🥺😭🙏

248 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #its been a very turtle-y year :)

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a-very-fond-farewell · 4 years

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The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 16/?

FMA AU meets “The Wind Rises” AU : “I still remember every day”

[crazy idea #1: if you are familiar with FMA: Brotherhood (superior in every way) you probably are too young or too smart to remember the original 2003 FMA clusterfuck series but i’m neither young nor smart so here is my take on one of my favorite animated movies of all times “The Conqueror of Shamballa” BUT the story doesn’t start in 1923 Germany but somewhere around 1923 Japan. If you are familiar with this movie and the 2003 series you will know Ed Elric has moved from London to Munich and started living there frequently interacting with a family of rocket scientists (sounds crazy if you are only knowledgeable with FMA: B, but… trust me). So i thought, “what if our protagonist (in this case WWX) travels from China to Japan to work on some airplanes instead?”]

[crazy idea #2: “The Wind Rises” from Ghibli is set in that historical period right? so what if we make transmigrated WWX work his engineering magic on some aircrafts before any conflict can actually take place? precisely between the end of the Taisho period (1912-1926) and the beginning of the Showa period (1926-1989), when the desire for innovation and the new technological advancements could be implemented while at peace.]

[obviously, this is just a prompt, and I don’t feel particularly comfortable with creating fantasy storylines so intertwined with actual historical events, especially if these events caused the suffering of many and belong to a culture that is not mine to describe with the potential risk of offending its values and legacy. also, fandom should be fun and if you love angst maybe this is not the prompt for you. on the other hand I thought of how much i love movies like “Porco Rosso”, set somewhat really fucking close to where I live while describing a fun and lighthearted narrative even if it’s dealing with historical and political events that are still fresh and painful in our collective memory nowadays. Maybe it is possible to write something easy and fun while, at the same time, setting it in a time of great difficulties without hurting anyone. Maybe I’m not the person for that (after all, this is just a prompt), but if you want to explore a similar plot you are encouraged to tag me bc I would really like to know your take on the matter. and if I happen to offend anyone I will properly apologize and take responsibility.]

[the title is from L’Arc-en-Ciel’s song “Lost Heaven”, which still makes me cry to this day]

When Wei WuXian wakes up after the core transplant surgery, the first thing he realizes is that he should be awake. Wen Qing insisted on the fact that he had to keep himself awake and conscious for the entirety of the procedure, otherwise he would have suffered from extreme backlash and so would have Jiang Cheng. But here he is, waking up from slumber after who know how many days. In front of a figure in white he doesn’t recognize. Everything is blurry in his periphery, as if he’s inhabiting two bodies at the same time. His every move heavy and his speech sluggish.

The person in white turns the moment Wei WuXian realizes he’s standing in the middle of nowhere, in the space between realities.

“Where am I?”, he asks, trying to make out the features of the person in front of him, their long white hair, the silver lining of their robes.

“You’re here to pay a price.”, the other answers, their voice a mere whisper. Barely louder than the crisp little noises the pins and jewelry adorning their hair and neck are making as the person approaches him slowly.

“A price for what?”

“Before losing consciousness, you wished for your brother to be saved no matter what.”

“Is… is Jiang Cheng safe?”

“He’s dying because you fell asleep.”, the other announces, sending shivers down Wei WuXian’s spine, dread sitting in the middle of his chest, “You cannot wake up, the damage is done. But if you enter this door you will be able to save him. Your body in this world will die, the core will not share two owners at once and your brother will be the only one able to use it from now on.”

Wei WuXian doesn’t have time to feel pain, determination painting him in vibrant colors in that white realm of silence and void. He turns as the person in white gestures him to do so and he finds a door so big it could rival with one of the gates of Koi Tower. Engraved on its surface are myriads of characters reminding him of something ancient and forbidden. Something so dark and dangerous not even cultivators as knowledgeable as Lan QiRen would be able to understand, let alone encourage learning about.

“What will i find on the other side?”, he wonders, watching as the gates slowly open in front of him, a warm wind spiraling upwards and messing his hair.

A kiss from the underworld.

Is this the day I die, he doesn’t ask.

“Another world.”, the woman in white and silver answers honestly.

Wei WuXian doesn’t have time to recognize her that he is dragged inside by a thousands of spirits with eyes for mouths and teeth for hands.

Mere months have passed since he woke up in a body similar to his original one, but completely different from his own at the same time. He’s still seventeen, but cannot rely on cultivation anymore. The brand scar he received in the cave of the Tortoise of Slaughter is nowhere to be seen. His mother and father welcomed him back in their arms, crying over his bedridden body thanking the heavens for saving their only son from typhoid fever. He knew deep down those were not his true parents, that Cange Sanren had a different name on top of that and that their actual son’s soul was probably the sacrificial lamb paid on the altar of Wei WuXian’s greed to save his only brother. He knew this since day one, yet he was too tired to say anything at the time. He woke up in a small village in the Hubei Province under the Republic of China, established twelve years prior. A reality almost identical to his own, but stripped of any power of the cultivation world.

However, now things have changed and his parents have died a second time, the fever and starvation taking them in their sleep one at a time. But not before his mother could send a desperate letter to an old acquaintance of hers asking them to take their son “Wei Ying” out of the country and save him from harm. After accepting her proposition, the Chinese diplomat Jiang Fenmiang has invited Wei Ying to live with him and their family in Tokyo, where he’s working in order to strengthen and acquiesce the relations between the two countries after a period of tension and grievances.

As he travels on what he understands to be called a “train”, Wei WuXian takes notes over the many technological advancements this new era has brought to humanity. Such as the ferry he has taken to travel overseas and now the locomotive taking him to Tokyo. The pain of losing his parents for the second time is still fresh, as is the memory of the past few months living alone on the streets chased by rabid dogs. His body is still weak after surviving the fever and his lungs and digestive system are forever compromised, but he wants to meet Jiang Chen and YanLi a second time in this new world. Feeling guilty for leaving them in a world ruled by the Qishan Wen clan, the only thing he can do is to atone in this new life and protect them in this reality. He takes a brief moment to himself as he looks up from his notes and sees a man approaching from the first class carriage of the train.

Initially Wei WuXian doesn’t regard the stranger with anything but a polite nod, some of his notes flying away from his journal as he adjusts himself on the platform at the end of his car. He sprints up to try to catch them... before the stranger could grab them for him and give them back.

It’s then that Wei WuXian recognizes the man, an older version of Lan Zhan from the one he remembers, dressed in modern clothing and shorter hair. He’s just another double, a copy of the original he used to know. Just like his mother and father, just like the Jiang family he’s going to meet soon. No recognition comes from the other-Lan Zhan, yet Wei WuXian lets himself stare for longer than necessary as he thanks the man.

A single tear rolls down his cheek as an earthquake shakes the train and destroys everything around them in that day of September 1923.

[details down below]

1923:

(WWX is 17)

the train stops and all the passengers survive, but they are scared and don’t know how to reach Tokyo safely by foot. Some officers guide them to the nearest road and help them walk for a while before they have to leave for the capital in an attempt to contain the flames of the many fires caused by the earthquake.

Lan Zhan’s double has the same name and features, but is now twenty-five and was supposed to arrive in Tokyo to meet with his brother, Lan Huan’s double. He’s a little more cheerful than what WWX remembers and he also decides to stick with the younger man all the way to Tokyo. After glancing at WWX’s notes earlier, in fact, double!LanZhan recognizes him as someone from his same country and reasons they should feel safer traveling together for a little while more.

given that trying to explain his situation to double!LanZhan would be useless, WWX simply agrees and shoves down any temptation to tell him all about Gusu and the cave and how much he wishes he could go back to his original world. They walk all the way to Tokyo talking quietly: they are surrounded by strangers, WWX doesn’t know much Japanese to begin with and he doesn’t want to be recognized as a foreigner.

uncle Jiang, along with some clothes to travel more comfortably, has sent him enough money to travel and direction to reach his home. The only thing WWX hopes is that nobody was injured in the earthquake and that no more waves can reach them before he can join them. What an unfortunate time to arrive. Aunt Yu would probably hate him in this reality too just because of that.

but as he trails behind double!LanZhan and enters Tokyo, WWX feels as if hell has found its way into the world, flames everywhere and nowhere to go. In the midst of chaos, however, double!LanZhan tries to keep him from fainting or shaking, talking about all the things he and his brother wish to work on as architects working for the government. Yet, WWX senses how worried he is for his twin brother and pities him as he tries to calm down, marveling at how much this version of Lan Zhan can talk. They walk towards the Jiang household as double!LanZhan chats about the university he’s supposed to work for the following month, wondering if it’s still intact after the catastrophe.

they reach the elegant house without any more troubles, relief spreading through their hearts as they notice it has endured little to no damage. Uncle Jiang scurries over them and immediately recognizes WWX bc of how much he resembles his mother and the man dotes on him from then on. He thanks double!LanZhan profusely, ignoring the resentful glances coming from his wife and the curious ones from his daughter. A kid roughly the same age as WWX approaches and takes the other’s only suitcase: a scowl on his face and hurry in his steps, telling WWX to keep up because “the world is crashing down if he hadn’t noticed”.

WWX doesn’t have time to properly thank double!LanZhan that he is urged inside by his new family.

1927:

(WWX is 21)

given the connections the Jiang family has in both countries, WWX and his step siblings are able to enjoy benefits others may only dream of, but the government is wary of foreigners and they need to act as good guests. This angers and stresses Jiang Cheng, his temper even worse than what WWX remembers, and he is even more rebellious than his new stepbrother. It’s WWX who needs to tone down the other’s snark at times, reminding him they cannot do as they please and that, even if others are jealous of their grades in university and overall position, they are still living in difficult times.

WWX knows this Jiang Cheng is a double ant that everything feels like a dream and nothing matters anymore, but if he pretends hard energy maybe he can stop feeling guilty for leaving his dear ones behind. But acknowledging this Jiang Cheng as the real one feels wrong and sometimes WWX distances himself from him, keeping his secrets for himself.

however, double!JiangCheng has seen his brother scream in his dreams, even waking him up in the middle of the night just to shake him from his horrible nightmares. Sometimes Wei Ying watches him in his sleep, when he hasn’t yet realized double!JiangCheng is awake, as checks for his breath. Other times he pressed a hand to his abdomen, as if checking for scars or injuries. He doesn’t know what it means, but he is willing to wait for the other to come around and they’ll him himself.

their sister YanLi has figured a way to be useful in a country wary of foreigners by studying to become a doctor and save lives. Their father is currently struggling at work because of the increasing tensions between the two countries and their mother keeps to herself in spite of everything.

WWX’s health deteriorates after he starts working, their supervisor suggesting him and his brother to keep a low profile just not to attract any unwanted attention on their family. Their work as engineers can convince the higher-ups to keep them close in case war were to strike again. But Jiang Cheng feels bad for working for a country constantly threatening his parent’s home country over mining rights and land ownership. He may love working on new aircrafts and test his limits, but he’s against using his energy and drive for appease someone else’s greed.

WWX, for the first time in his life, feels second to his brother, admiring his ability to distinguish from right and wrong while he himself cannot even tell dreams and reality apart. With a weakened body and a mind filled with memories of a world that doesn’t even exists, WWX convinces himself he’s in hell and this life is the punishment for being too greedy himself.

1929:

(WWX is 23, double!LWJ is 30)

tension is too strong for them to live in Tokyo, with Uncle Jiang forced to work for the government and scramble for solutions in order to keep his family safe in a secluded location in the mountains, in a hotel in the middle of nowhere. There, the elites enjoys the last days of peaceful times they will not see again for years to come.

WWX feels drained, dreaming of people he will either never see again or see every single day in the faces of strangers. Jiang Cheng convinces him to talk, even if only to ease his pain, but WWX cannot bring himself to reveal the whole truth. The only thing he feels like to share is that he has visions of another world and that maybe reincarnation is not as far fetched as it seems.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t really believe him, but he supports him and together with YanLi they try to make Wei Ying relax during their vacation on the mountains.

there, out of nowhere, WWX meets double!LanZhan and his brother: they meet on top of a hill as the wind rises and some of the two brothers’ musical scores fly away. WWX and his stepbrother catch them and bring them back as YanLi approaches the two musicians.

this time, WWX notice immediately something is wrong. Double!LanZhan is far less cheerful than what he remembers from their first encounter, while his brother seems to have lost his vision, music being his only comfort. The group exchanges pleasantries with the twins on top of the hill, until rain forces them all to seek refuge under some trees. WWX watches double!LanZhan closely and realizes these years apart must have been tough on him. He asks if double!LanHuan has lost his sight after the earthquake and the only thing double!LanZhan is able to do is nod, his eyes filled with tears.

Would it be so bad to befriend this other-LanZhan? Is it right for WWX to start a new life in hell with someone so compassionate and kind? Maybe that would be okay in the end, maybe they can be good friends and survive this world that is wary of them simply because of the greed of human kind. Then why does it feel wrong to let himself be loved by these people? Why does it feel like he’s betraying the ones he has left behind?

during their vacation, the two families get closer and they enjoy each other’s company. They talk in Japanese to not be stared by the other patrons and WWX wonders what happened in his world. If the Wens have crumbled down. If their name is synonymous with hatred and greed. If this is how any refugee would feel, isolated from the rest of the country while desperately trying to hold onto any familiar face and memory at hand.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t like to talk in another language and fear others might look down on him and seldom attracts attention by causing mayhem. But YanLi and even double!LanHuan help him come down from his stubborn antics and take him to long walks to calm down. This way, WWX and double!LanZhan are frequently left alone, because Wei Ying cannot walk for too long without feeling exhausted and so the other keeps him company.

since double!LanZhan is so under the weather and quiet, WWX takes it upon himself to entertain him and he spends their days chatting about the things he misses from home, what he would like to do if he were to live somewhere else, they airplanes he would like to make. He doesn’t talk about how much me misses flying on a sword, or how the wind fills under his clothes up in the air, or how much he would have loved to hold onto Lan Zhan among the stars at night.

WWX cries in front of double!LanZhan without noticing one day, missing the days at the Cloud Recesses when they were classmates and he used to pester the other boy. And only now, only now he understands what it was, what he wanted to convey with his antics. How much he wanted the other to notice him and pay attention to him. But the one rubbing a comforting hand up and down his spine now is not his Lan Zhan. Even if he’s just as kind and compassionate, just as quiet and brilliant, just as hurt and lonely.

they share a kiss under the trees of a meadow one afternoon and WWX feels like he’s either betraying the real Lan Zhan or this gentle young man who’s never done anything bad in his entire life. And he doesn’t know why double!LanZhan is crying as well as they kiss, but he’s too afraid to ask.

the following day Uncle Jiang calls the rest of his family back home and the Jiang siblings say their goodbyes to the twins hiding alone with their uncle on the mountain. Promising to meet each other again soon, even if WWX knows that’s most likely nothing but a well intentioned lie given the hardships they’re bound to face.

1930:

Lan Zhan:

(WWX is 24, double!LWJ is 31)

after meeting with the Jiang family, the twins try to retrieve their life as usual the moment they return in Tokyo for the winter. Their uncle notices double!LanZhan’s distress over departing from the young men he had met there, but his inquiry is fruitless since his nephew refuses to speak. The old man has noticed some changes in the younger twin over the course of a couple of years or so: his frequent migraines and tiredness, his laborious efforts to speak as if feverish and confused, his nights interrupted by nightmares more often than not.

even his brother has noticed the difference despite losing his vision in the fire at the imperial university seven years prior. His cheerful spirit is gone, his steps alternate different rhythms at times, and even his accent often doesn’t sound familiar to him. In his younger brother’s words “it’s almost as if two of me are residing in a single body”. But Lan Huan doesn’t know what to make of it, wishing he could look his brother in the eyes and see the truth for himself.

double!LanZhan, on the other hand, feels split in half ever since he has kissed Wei Ying. He remembers that day because his body has moved on its own, half of his mind lost in Wei Ying’s grey eyes while the other half (his own half) was trying to understand why the sudden urge to hold the boy tighter in his arms. He felt like someone had possessed him for those brief, stolen moments in time before leaving his body altogether the second Wei Ying has run away from him in the meadow.

unable to find an answer, feverish and tired with a migraine splitting his brain in half, double!LanZhan wanders around Tokyo trying to remember where the Jiang residence was. His feet walking him towards Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng’s room in the evening one day. Wei Ying is alone, sitting down by a table covered in drawings. Mesmerized, double!LanZhan watches from the window as Wei Ying traces the lines of faces and places, over an over again, as if he doesn’t want to forget what his imagination has shown him that night.

seeing what is depicted on the table, double!LanZhan’s migraine worsens and he collapses in the back garden, snow piling up on him. Wei Ying immediately notices and brings him inside, covering him in quilts to keep him warm. But Wei Ying is the warmest of all, his embrace like a balsam over double!LanZhan’s pulsing head as the younger tries to keep him warm by rubbing his arms over and over.

suddenly his head doesn’t hurt anymore and he can finally, finally let go. Let the other half take his place for now, just for a little while, as he takes a small nap in Wei Ying’s arms.

when he wakes up, Lan Zhan cries all of his tears.

he was finally able to reach Wei Ying, his Wei Ying, who was trapped in another world. The one Lan Zhan has been looking for ever since the end of the Sunshot Campaign, ever since Jiang Cheng himself told him of his demise. The one Lan Zhan was able to reach only after sacrificing his golden core to the immortal turned goddes BaoShan Sanren in front of a gate born from the efforts of some past demonic cultivator.

for two years he had tried to make his way through the veil between realities, his consciousness exhausted as if he had been swimming for far too long. The other-him, the man who shared his name and face, hosting his soul at the expenses of his own body for over two years. All because of Lan Zhan’s grief and greed, all because a goddess had promised him he could be reunited with the love of his life. But at what cost... at what cost indeed.

since two souls cannot reside in a single body, one of them had to die in order for Lan Zhan to meet his Wei Ying again. The moment WWX sees the other cry, he immediately recognizes him and tries to console him for the loss of his “other”. But LWJ cannot seem to feel any relief as he falls asleep once more in his arms.

Jiang Cheng:

Jiang Cheng enters the room and is baffled to find one of the twins in there, but seeing his brother crying over the man he decides to help them instead of calling the servants. Things are turning ugly in town for people like them and he doesn’t trust anyone anymore since YanLi got married and started working for the hospital, leaving the brothers alone.

in tears, Wei Ying tells him everything: of his dreams of another world, of the one he was destined to meet, of Lan Zhan finally remembering who he really was. He’s still fixated on this “past life” thing, uh? Jiang Cheng doesn’t really understand, but he knows the two man has grown fond of each other the previous summer and doesn’t really envy their fate.

he watches over them as they fall asleep in each other’s arms, having promised them to keep the servants from knowing about Lan Zhan’s presence in their house. That’s when he comes up with a plan and calls Lan Huan on the phone, briefly telling him that “his brother Lan Zhan has made a choice and that he cannot stay in Tokyo anymore”.

Lan Huan asks Jiang Cheng if his brother is there, to which the other only says “yes”. Is he with Wei Ying? Yes. Are they in love? Yes. Do they need to hide? “I can manage that for them.”

They meet the following morning at dawn, outside of Lan XiChen’s house to not attract the attention of the Jiang servants. Jiang Cheng will escort the two lovebirds to a cottage somewhere in the countryside, far away from society. When Lan Huan will succeed in convincing Lan QiRen to follow him there, they will receive them and arrange something.

Jiang Cheng May not believe his brother, but he knows things are getting dangerous in the country, especially for foreigners like them. Let alone someone like Wei Ying and his lover.

Wei WuXian:

While Lan Zhan is still feverish, Jiang Cheng and WWX take the train with the older man to the countryside. WWX feels bad for leaving, but Lan Zhan needs to rest away from the modern world for a while and he himself doesn’t feel well at all. Not with his lungs giving up on him any time he has to stiffen a cough and swallow his own blood with every breath. His weakened body may have caught something in the last few months, but he will not give up on Lan Zhan now.

They reach the cottage and Jiang Cheng immediately sends a letter to his sister, apologizing for what he’s about to do. They only have to wait a week for Lan Huan and Lan QiRen to arrive, but in the meantime Lan Zhan has regained enough energy to eat and stand up on his own. WWX asks him what is going on, and LWJ tells him that he’s currently trying to hold onto this body while simultaneously ruling over his original body in Gusu. He doesn’t want to fade away, but he fears slipping out of reach and leave WWX behind a second time.

when Lan QiRen sees them, he cannot deny what is in front of him: someone who is merely pretending to be his nephew greets him with a stoic face as he announces his intention to marry a man. Despite the initial shock, when Lan Huan has asked him to take him in the middle of nowhere in the countryside in winter, Lan QiRen has accepted to indulge him knowing Lan Zhan must have had something to do with it. But this in front of him is definitely not his nephew and this realization hurts more then knowing he is in love with a man.

Lan Huan, on the other hand, knows from his voice this is not his brother but cannot explain why. He’s filled with grief at the thought and not even his uncle can comfort him, the older man himself in pain for a loss he cannot comprehend.

WWX asks them to indulge them just this time, feeling like his life is getting closer and closer to its end, not knowing what else to do. Jiang Cheng comforts the two men as he tries to explain his reasons, that nobody will let them have even an ounce of joy in the world they’re forced to live in and that, if things will end up getting worse in the end, at least they’ll have this memory to look back to. He feels like a war is approaching, and no one can know what kind of world will greet them at the end of it.

Lan Zhan:

the day of his wedding he’s very nervous, having asked their hosts to simplify the traditional ceremony given the fact that Wei Ying and he are both men and there are no actual guest attending. They bow to the heavens and the earth, to their families, and then to each other. Their clothes are far less expensive or appropriate from the nuptial red they would have worn under different circumstances, yet Lan Zhan has never felt more adorned and rich, basking in Wei Ying’s love.

they spend their first night together whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears, tired and happy as they have never been before.

Wei WuXian:

they stay at the cottage for months, receiving news from the outside world every now and then from Jiang Cheng and Lan Huan. He suspects his brother is keeping something to himself, ignoring his questions over the political situation altogether, but he doesn’t insist.

LWJ tells him stories of the Sunshot Campaign, of how he tried to save the weak, the women, the children and the innocent of the Wen Clan against the rest of the cultivation world. Of how he found a way to summon BaoShan Sanren through some scrolls he had found in Burial Mounds, where he thought WWX’s soul might have disappeared to. Of how he hadn’t even been able to say goodbye to his brother and the people he had saved in Yiling before signing a contract with the immortal.

WWX’s lungs are giving up on him but he tries to keep LWJ from noticing. YanLi comes to meet them one day and makes sure to cry for her brother only when they are finally alone, sensing his intention to keep his husband from knowing the truth. He knows LWJ cannot possibly keep holding onto two bodies at the same time: waking up in Yiling the moment he falls asleep in the cottage; then waking up with Wei Ying every morning the moment he falls asleep in Burial Mounds where he has decided to hide. Without a golden core, for as strong as someone like LWJ can be, he would die if he keeps crossing the veil, the gate between the two worlds.

the day after YanLi has left them alone, WWX spends his last day with his husband, making sure everything is perfect. he also sends letters to his family and thanks them for loving him. he extends his best wishes to the people who worked alongside him, helping him bring to fruition his dream to fly in the sky once more... even if he has never flown in this lifetime.

he’s very happy with his husband and wants to commit every second they spend together to heart. They make love for the last time before they both fall asleep together and dream of home.

he whispers “I wish you good luck” before falling asleep.

Lan Zhan:

he wakes up the next day and Wei Ying is gone. His body cold in his arms.

mad with grief, unable to believe a life without WWX can or should exist, he cries over his husband’s body and wishes he could die.

Lan Huan and Lan QiRen happen to visit that day and find him crestfallen and asking to be left alone to die. But they help him bury the body instead and take care of him. Lan QiRen suddenly feels terrible at the thought of leaving this boy all alone, whether he’s actually his nephew or not. Lan Huan convinces his brother to eat and rest, holding him for as long as it takes for him to calm down.

the following day, as the younger twin wakes up, he asks Lan Huan why they’re in a cottage in the countryside and what happened while he was asleep.

the actual LWJ, by falling asleep, not willing to wake up in a world where WWX doesn’t exists anymore, has allowed double!LanZhan to regain complete control over the body in the cottage. The twin wasn’t dead, just dormant, waiting for LWJ to let go of his body on his own.

waking up in the Burial Mounds, however, with no golden core and no Wei Ying is worse than anything LWJ has ever experienced. Having to survive WWX’s death not one, but two times is too much to handle... but a small kid has found his place in his arms while LWJ was sleeping. His beloved A-Yuan, one of the few Wen children he was able to save from the Lanling Jin’s clutches after the Sunshot Campaign.

as he takes in the sight of the child he considers his own, peacefully sleeping in his bed, LWJ finds the strength to say “just another day”. And then another and another and another again.

13 years later:

Mo XuanYu sacrifices his body for WWX and the first thing Wei Ying does in his new body is to ask the Lan juniors to bring him to Hanguan Jun.

but Lan Zhan is already there, following the juniors around after managing to reforming a golden core in just a little over ten years all on his own. The first thing he says to Wei Ying is “I still remember every day.”

and they begin to travel together for the rest of their life.

Now I need a fucking tissue.

[as you can see very little “conquering another world” type of quest because I didn’t like to think too hard. This is more like “what if before transmigrating WWX and LWJ lived somewhere else and got married?” But then I had to make it sad, uh? Fuck.]

[also, demonic-cultivator!LWJ anyone?]

#mdzs #cql #the untamed #wangxian #mo dao zu shi #the forbidden crack! untamed prompts #mdzs/au: manga/anime inspired #mdzs/au: fma #mdzs/au: ghibli #mdzs/au: modern

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