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aria-chicken-flugget · 4 years

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Disney World with The Brothers (+ Undateables)

HCs that no one asked for, i’m just self indulgent ✨

Link To The Brothers post

*Based on Disney World Orlando Resort*

The Undateables

Luke 👼

“Don’t hold my hand i’m not a child!”

Would grab your hand in excitement

“I don’t want to go on that boat ride it’s for babies!”

When no one else could hear, holding his arms behind his back whilst running his foot along the ground, blushing furiously -

“MC... will you take me on the ride, please?”

Cotton candy. Loves it. Would get it all over his fingers and all around his mouth.

Would be unable to hide The Brightest Smile TM when that Disney music plays and he sees the castle in Magic Kingdom

“Want to go on Whinnie the Poo?” “That’s a Baby Ride! >:(“

Goes on and LOVES IT

Has sooo much fun just getting to be a kid, holds nothing back after a little encouragement from you

You and Simeon look like his parents when you sit either side of him on a ride lol

Would be desperate to stay even when the park closes

“:’(“ “Hey, it’s ok! We’ll get to see another park tomorrow!” “:D”

Would hold onto yours and Simeon’s hand, humming the theme to Pirate’s of the Caribbean as you leave

“Did you have fun? I thought you didn’t like boat rides.” “That was a scary boat ride - the pirates were horrible.” Blush - deniaalll lol

Would berate you heavily if you tried to get him any kind of toy

Would take the toy home and never let go

Simeon 😇

“What’s a Mickey Mouse? I’m still new to this”

Always smiling and loves that he’s experiencing this with you and Luke

He LOVES Soarin’ as it feels like home but better, as he’s ‘flying’ with you

Trolls Diavolo into going on It’s a Small World After All and acts Innocent TM

Seems pleased enough, enjoys the experience but it’s made better by the company

Makes sure everyone has their belongings and is drinking plenty of water

“Do you need me to grab that for you, MC? I can hold it whilst you go on the ride with Luke?”

Asks Directions TM. Maps don’t work for this boi lol and he gets easily lost lmao

Wouldn’t purposefully ignore The Mom’s Itinerary but inexplicably keeps wandering off, eventually being found with an apologetic smile on his face

Doesnt understand you have to queue to get on until he gets told for the billionth time

Holds your hand as you both marvel at the fireworks, Luke on his shoulders with icecream

Gets Luke an autograph book and gets it signed by all the characters when Luke’s too proud or nervous to himself

“Yes there he is, Luke. He’d love a photograph. Luke? Luke!” *Luke blushing furiously from behind your arm* “SHUT UP SIMEON”

Looks the cutest when in character photos

Realises just how much fun he had when your on the way back from the park

Solomon 🧙‍♂️

Vlogs with Levi sometimes together sometimes separate, but his is more of a troll vlog

To Lucifer on camera - “WHAT ARE THOSE” “They are my crocs! >:(“

Goes FULL HAM TM with you by his side, it’s absolute chaos this boi does NOT run out of energy or things he wants to do

“I wanna go on Jurrassic Park” “... Solomon that’s at Universal.”

Would sneak you away from the brothers, would be very crafty about it to, no one would suspect a thing until it’s been hours since.

Would take the consequences with a nonchalant smile. Does. Not. Regret. A. Thing.

“Itinerary? What’s that?”

“The only good thing about Animal Kingdom is the Mount Everest ride.”

Claims he’s easy breezy about going/where to go in the parks

Actually has very specific favourites and dislikes

“But you said -“ “Yea but who the hell means it when you decide ‘It’s a Small World’” *eyeroll*

Still goes on the ride, and vlogs a meme out if it

Him and Levi SQUEAL at anything Star Wars

When no one is watching, he intesifies the fireworks with magic, watching you beam with amazement is what makes his day

Will try to sneak in a kiss during the fireworks

Barbatos 🕰

It’s the first time you see him smile, like a genuine smile

Is very quiet and is mostly there because of Diavolo, but rather enjoys the atmosphere

Surprisingly loves water rides

Despite being there because of Diavolo, Diavolo urges Butler Barb to let loose and have fun

He does to a degree but never falters his sense of decorum

Similarly to The Mom TM, would be very prepared. Need a napkin? Check. Anti bac? Check. Map? You got it.

When you decide to ride with him, his facade would falter, glancing around BAFFED

“Are - are you sure you want to ride with me, MC? Or did you mistake me for -“ “... Oh, ok.”

Suppresses the intense blush he feels at the revelation that you did, in fact, intend to ride with him

When he relaxes, may occasionally casually hold your hand, making you double take at his nonchalance

Would indulge himself with viewing the experiences you share in the different timelines in which you still go together

“MC, i’m taking you to dinner. If you’d like of course.”

Would be such a gentlemen and so relaxed at night, out of habit when he’s not with Diavolo, he can just simply be himself.

Will hold your hand as you watch the fireworks at dinner. A smirk on his lips before planting a lingering kiss on your cheek to both startle and excite you

Diavolo 👑

“Disney world?! DISNEY WORLD?! That is the no.1 place for your dreams to come true!”

Sincerely believes that is literal

That Laugh TM with his arms spread wide as he sees the Park entrance

Takes photos everywhere, even infront of a trash can - initially thinking “it’s a part of the experience!”

Gets too excited to follow Lucifer’s Itinerary

“Diavolo! You’re not supposed to climb onto the parade floats!”

Would scoop you up onto his back without warning, a ball of energy as he bounces around the park with you this way

“Wow! What is this delicacy?! It’s delicious!” “That’s just a Mickey shaped napkin, Diavolo...”

Would buy all of the balloons from the vendor, looking like a lunatic

“Where’s he gonna keep all those -“ “Don’t even ask.”

That one person who actually enjoys It’s A Small World After All. Sings along and doesnt stop for the rest of the day

Would wear several sets of Mickey ears at once, not realising or caring that it’s not how they’re meant to be worn

“Oh? Of course we can ride together, MC!”

Would smile that much more brightly as you suck up the enjoyment alongside him like a couple of sponges!

“That - that’s not a ride Diavolo -“ “But we must ride this monorail. It is a part of the experience!”

If he’s feeling comfortable, will wrap a strong arm around your waist, pointing out Tinkerbell to you when he spots her before the start of the fireworks

The link to the first post with The Brothers is above! Will edit both but have them for now and again, I hope these make you smile! ☺️✨

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me shall we date #om! swd #Obey me Luke #Obey Me Simeon #Obey Me Solomon #Obey Me Barbatos #Obey me Diavolo #om! Luke #om! simeon #om! solomon #om! barbatos #om! diavolo #Obey me Brothers #Disney Headcanons

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alvertesongdiary · 6 years

Video

youtube

Lil Uzi Vert - New Patek

Hmm New Patek on my wrist, white diamonds them shits hit pink Ight I'm ready

New Patek on my wrist (gang) White diamonds them shits hit pink (gang, gang) Got cold, had to go get a mink (gang) New finger ring sit like a sink (gang, gang) You a bad bitch, then we can link (what?) Hit the shower, you might stink (gang, gang) Bitches bad, yeah, they on my grape (uh) And she said "Lil Uzi so great" (uh, uh) How you deal with all that hate? (uh-uh) Shut up, bitch, don't give me migraine New Patek on my wrist White diamonds them shits hit pink Got cold, had to go get a mink New finger ring sit like a sink You a bad bitch, then we can link Hit the shower, you might stink Bitches bad, yeah, they on my grape (uh-uh) And she said "Lil Uzi so great"

Ok, your girlfriend like my drip (drip, uh) Happy birthday to that bitch (bitch) Yeah, the one that suck my dick (dick, uh) Triple S got that extra grip (grip) So you know I cannot slip That jeweler made part of my wrist (wrist) Franck Muller made part of my wrist (wrist) Franck Muller made part of my wrist (wrist) My shooters gon' shoot, can't miss My shooter got 30 on his hip Yeah I need my fix Was that a pair of boots from Rick? Had to tell that lil girl don't trip Cool blood, but my money crip Got clap on lights no flick Can't take no pic, no flick (no cap) Fuck that bitch in my new whip (skrr) Her ass so fat can't fit Her ass so fat it's amazing (amazing) Her ass so fat it's a miracle (miracle) Her last man money hysterical She from the six one nine, Rey Mysterio I'm the same nigga bustin' their stereo Yeah, My boys on the block selling O's, no cheerios I don't wake up in the morning for cereal Flip the brick make the whole shit do a aerial Bang the shit out and make the hoes sing Ariel Silencers so they really can not hear me though Killing these beats Lil Uzi a serial Clean up the body prepare for the burial Burberry pants I got Burberry tennis shoes I got the swag probably, I'ma finish you I am a octopus I cannot breath without water So I put diamonds on my tentacles How is you stoppin' us, they is not toppin' us You know I had to cop that shit just by the twos Blood in my chakra, I will not pop at ya Put money on my head just for your album bruh Tell me lil boy if it's beef I get to choppin' shit up like it's prime and treat you like you Optimus My chain white gold your shit look like copper bruh MCM yeah that shit made of ostrich bruh But I don't wear that, give that to my hoes Yeah I swear that lil nigga my clone I had to do this shit all on my own Yeah, slime shit lil baby, put diamonds in my nose

And your girlfriend like my drip (drip, uh) Happy birthday to that bitch (bitch) Yeah, the one that suck my dick (dick, uh) Triple S got that extra grip (grip) So you know I cannot slip

Franck Muller made part of my wrist Franck Muller made part of my wrist New Rollie made a part of my wrist AP made part of my wrist New Richard on my wrist Got a millie down sellin' my bank

Throw up gang signs, Naruto Put metal in my nose like Pain Man, I never saw this bitch before How the fuck she know my name She said "Lil Uzi, Hello" I looked at her, "Oh, hey" (Hello?) You ain't never seen pastry dough, well lil bitch I got cake Gettin' money, I'm the man Gettin' money had to count the advance Saint Laurent all on my shoes they not Vans Need a fan, in case a nigga get hot Remember she ain't want me back, I was popped On the block back before I had locks Red dot for a chicken eat pop MC told the bitch give me cop Motorcycle days, bitch young jock That's what I call her, she all on my top Rapstar or do he sell rock? He got files so he beatin' the trial Couple racks let them niggas run wild Super filthy man they livin' so foul I got some real niggas that is locked up Tryna shade the bar just for the foul All my bitches want me to take a foul Live off verbs, and I live off of nouns He get money, then I had to say how? New rug, and it's made of wolf New rabbit yeah I use as a towel Lil bitch, yeah I run through the city Different spots in it just like a cow Yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout a mansion, no house Yeah, my closet yeah that shit got a house Four years, I ain't even see a mouse Please stop talking bitch put dick in your mouth We get money, what the fuck is a drought Makin' rain 'cause I'm up in the clouds Had to tell that lil bitch get from around 'Cause that little bitch be fuckin' with clowns

Let's go, let's go, had to tell that lil bitch, yeah let's go Yeah, that lil nigga stole my swag, and he's tryna steal my flow I had to switch it up one time just like I switch my phone I could try one more time, I can give this shit one more go I put hundreds in my safe (ayy) I throw twenties in her face I put the M in a J (ayy) I got a bae in the bay (ayy) I fucked on that nigga little bitch that's the reason he tryna' say that I'm gay (ayy) Way more coochie the kid slay (ayy) I sell a mil in a day (ayy) All of my bitches they grade A I do not get it in Canada, but when I'm in Toronto they treat me like Drake This a light jet, this a flight day Had that lil bitch that's on Myspace I can feel this shit in my veins Look at my neck thats an ice tray Come on tell me, what you sayin' (what you sayin', what you sayin', what you sayin')

And your girlfriend like my drip (drip, uh) Happy birthday to that bitch (bitch) Yeah, the one that suck my dick (dick, uh) Triple S got that extra grip (grip) (Oh yeah)

Franck Muller made part of my wrist Franck Muller made part of my wrist New Rollie made part of my wrist AP made a part of my wrist New Richard on my wrist Got a millie down sellin' my bank

New Patek on my wrist White diamonds them shits hit pink Got cold, had to go get a mink New finger ring sit like a sink You a bad bitch, then we can link (what?) Hit the shower, you might stink Bitches bad, yeah, they on my grape (uh) And she said "Lil Uzi so great" (uh, uh) How you deal with all that hate? (uh-uh) Shut up, bitch, don't give me migraine

Throw up gang signs, Naruto Put metal in my nose like Pain Man, I never saw this bitch before How the fuck she know my name She said "Lil Uzi, Hello" I looked at her, "Oh, hey" You ain't never seen pastry dough, well lil bitch I got cake (ayy) Gettin' money, I'm the man Gettin' money had to count the advance Saint Laurent all on my shoes they not Vans Need a fan, in case a nigga get hot Remember she ain't want me back, I was popped On the block back before I had locks Red dot for a chicken eat pop MC told the bitch

Yeah, that's it

28/09/2018

#lil uzi vert #new patek #music #trap #musica #cancion del dia #song of the day #youtube #diario #diary

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junker-town · 5 years

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Semi-educated picks and baseless predictions for the 2019 British Open

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Tiger Woods probably won’t win. Phil Mickelson definitely won’t! Rory coming home is nice, but seems like a pain. These predictions and other topics to revel in this week at the game’s best major.

The final major championship of the men’s golf season is now the best. The Open is now hitting clean-up but despite the change in order, very few things will change about the game’s oldest and instantly recognizable major championship. It’s still played in mid-July. The course will be a seaside links venue. It will probably be grey and windy and occasionally rainy. The look will always be the same.

One deviation this year, however, is the course. It’s still a seaside links indisputably worthy of hosting a major championship. It’s just that Royal Portrush has not been on the Open rota since 1951. The sectarian violence of Northern Ireland removed Portrush, one of the world’s very best courses, from the rotation for almost 70 years but now it is back, thanks in part to three Northern Irish golfers winning three majors at the start of this decade. Rory McIlroy, Darren Clarke, and Graeme McDowell will have a keen familiarity with the venue, but few others in the field have ever played it and no one has played it in The Open.

With that lack of course history, this Open could be especially hard to forecast but we march on here, throwing out wild and baseless predictions as best we can. Here are a few larger topics and what you could, maybe, possibly see and expect this week.

Who’s your dark-horse pick to win or contend down the stretch on Sunday? (ideally odds 60/1 or higher)

Brendan: I’ll take a flier on Eddie Pepperell. This is not exactly an under-the-radar name at this point, for various reasons, mostly off the course with his Twitter account and nonchalant comments last year about playing The Open hungover. He’s a known name and been in the top 50 in the world for much of this year. But he’s 100/1 and has made relatively few starts since the beginning of May thanks to a back injury. So I’ll use the word flier, even though it would be completely unsurprising to see him somewhere in the top 10 come Sunday. Webb Simpson is also an extremely good value at 100/1.

Kyle: If you follow my very bad twitter account, you know exactly who I’m picking here. 300-to-1 is insane value! Jorge Campillo Hive get in, we’re riding out.

Okay, seriously. He’s had a bit of a dip in form the last couple starts, but he’s near the top of the Order of Merit on the European Tour. As the self-proclaimed leader of the Euro Tour hive, I tend to like one or two guys that are #trending overseas. We both like Spaniards, sure, that works.

Campillo probably won’t win, but I’d not be shocked at all by a top-10 finish.

Now give me the Trophee Hassan II picture.

soon pic.twitter.com/FfkcZx90sx

— kyle robbins (@kylerrobbins) July 17, 2019

Thank you.

We’re on a sustained run of players from the top 25 in the world winning majors. Is there a first-time major winner out there this week? How about a super random long shot (like Todd Hamilton)?

Brendan: Xander Schauffele is the pick for first-time major winner. He’s been too consistent at each and every major to not be the first choice at this point. But he’s far from a random long shot. For that, I’ll go with Adri Arnaus, the Spaniard who has shown some form of late on the Euro Tour. He’s 500/1 and would definitely break the streak of big-name players winning The Open.

Kyle: How about Matt Wallace? He got a reputation last year on the Euro Tour as a big time boom or bust guy with a couple of wins and a bunch of flameouts, but he’s really steadied the ship this year with some nice finishes at quality events. He’s at 50-1, so this is actually less of a long shot than Campillo — but I do think Wallace has a couple major championship high finishes within him coming up. Might as well start this week.

Who is one big name, or maybe a few if you’re feeling mean, you expect to bomb out early and never contend at Portrush?

Brendan: I mean, the obvious choice here is Phil Mickelson, the 2013 winner. He’s adapted to this major in the late stage of his career, going from completely incompatible to smitten with links golf. But, uh, he just went on a six-day fast “to heal” and lost 15 pounds. Then he told Golf Channel on Tuesday, “I am so not into results or trying to win right now.” That sounds like someone who is going to miss his fifth cut in his last seven starts. Can we also throw Jordan Spieth back into the MC bundle, as well? Yes, ok, him too.

Kyle: Brooks! I’ve never loved Brooks on links, and I think we’re going to hit an expiration point on his ability to turn it on in majors. It’s just basically never happened, save maybe Hogan post-accident — which you could liken more to Tiger’s return than a guy who basically ONLY wins majors like Brooks.

The luck has to run out at some point. I think he’ll eject this week.

Rory is the headliner and host this week given his history with Portrush and the fact that it’s the first time we’ve played an Open here in almost 70 years. What are your expectations for McIlroy?

Brendan: Rory is the betting favorite given that history and what has been a very strong year, aside from those underwhelming major weeks. But my expectations are tempered for Rory this week. I think he’s relishing playing at home and the fact that the possibility of an Open in Northern Ireland has been realized. But I don’t think he’s all that thrilled being in the center of the circus and would rather just be off prepping for a major at some other rota venue in Scotland or England. He’s never enjoyed the circus all that much and this is the pinnacle of it in his career. So, yes, I think he’s grateful for hosting in a sense but I don’t think he’s happy about what it means for his golf. This will be a fourth 2019 major for Rory off the radar come Sunday.

Photo By Ramsey Cardy/Sportsfile via Getty Images

Kyle: I’ll expound on this later down the page, but this all just makes too much sense. I’m not going to dive into the cultural milieu of Northern Ireland and what this championship means to a nation that’s undoubtedly been through a lot — Eamon Lynch knows it first hand and has already done that. We don’t need more golf writers riffing on The Troubles.

But despite all that, we love ourselves a good homecoming in sport. Rory winning at Portrush would instantly go down in the annals of history — and that’s the exact reason we watch majors. I’m going to save my prediction from going any further until the end of this piece.

Does it matter that Tiger has not played competitive golf since the U.S. Open? We’ve seen a flurry of opinions on this in the last couple weeks.

Brendan: Absolutely not! This does not matter. He traditionally has played just one event between the U.S. Open and British Open. This year, he played none. Tiger may not be ready or at his peak for this Open, but that has little to do with any amount of reps between majors. He’s just old, still putting his feet up from that all-time achievement at Augusta, and trying to take it as slow as possible. He’s probably not going to win but this micro-analysis of his schedule choices at this point and the charges that he’s not “serious” about winning because he didn’t play some Mickey Mouse tournament the past month are ridiculous. He’s earned the benefit of making that schedule that best suits his old, decrepit body.

Kyle: Honestly, yes — it matters. But that doesn’t mean Tiger’s making the wrong decision. It’s exceptionally hard to be as sharp as you need to be mentally to win majors without starts. I think the lack of starts heading into the US Open affected him, and this one will as well.

Tiger’s life has changed. His injuries don’t allow the prep they once might have. There’s nothing wrong with a little LOAD MANAGEMENT to stay fresh for majors. But I am curious if playing as little as Tiger does prevents that next-level scramble or laced 2-iron stinger under pressure. I don’t expect him to really be in the conversation on Sunday.

Who are you rooting for most this week? What would be your dream scenario on Sunday?

Brendan: How about Hideki Matsuyama winning Japan’s first major? The cliche dream scenario is probably Rory winning at home. It would be a great scene on Sunday. I hope he plays well.

But the ideal winner is Brooks Koepka. He’d complete a 2-1-2-1 year of finishes at the four majors, which would have an argument as the best single majors year in the modern era. Brooks has looked terrible in a couple starts since his runner-up at the U.S. Open, so a win here would only hammer home the narrative that everything else is just meaningless and really have the suits at the PGA Tour skittish. It’s a bizarre, glorious trend for the No. 1 player in the world to be this great at the majors and a total non-factor on Tour. A win at The Open would only solidify this trend and also free him up to call out even more names next year and speak even more on how little the other events mean to him.

Kyle: I’ve already left Brooks for dead, and the obvious story is Rory. Taking Northern Ireland’s first major in sixty-some years is the ideal outcome — no question. We root for history, and this event keeps delivering year after year right now. Let’s get a Tiger-Rory-Spieth duel down the stretch. That’s about the only thing that could live up to our run of the past five Opens.

Who’s your winner of the 148th Open?

Brendan: The winner will be our big, husky, club-slamming, curse-muttering Basque boy Jon Rahm. He won the Irish Open two weeks ago for a second time and now he’ll win again on another links course on the island. He’s been on this path from the day he turned pro, rocketing to the top five of the world rankings in record speed. The form is there, the game is there, and the comfort with this style of golf is there. His future is major championships and that future starts this week with another win in Ireland.

Kyle: I’m taking Rory. It makes too much sense, it’s a course he knows too well, and the story’s too good. I like to make cracks about how we all get snookered in by Rory on every major Friday afternoon — all before eventual ejection. But this is a home game in a major for him, a true first. I think this is the time.

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fieldsofplay · 6 years

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Top Albums of 2017

20. Protomartyr – Relatives in Descent

I put this album 20 for several reasons. One, it’s a great album. Two, they release these records every year and their inclusion is thus a little rote at this point, so it might as well just kick off the list as the official start to another year. Three, we can get politics out of the way at the outset. 2017. Woof. And we thought 2016 was bad. If any band is going to soundtrack the hellscape that is Amerikkka in 2017, it’s hard to do better than Detroit’s Protomartyr. No one is better at channeling our collective disillusionment with the political climate into raw power.

19. Lorde – Melodrama

I don’t know if I’m surprised by my embrace of this record or not. I’ll admit part of me found the idea of Lorde not all that interesting, and I never really bothered to listen to her first record. But as high culture and pop continue to draw ever closer to each other it would be foolish to ignore one of the true pop perfectionists while embracing the Beyonces and Kanyes with open arms. This album bangs. The beats are oddly reminiscent of late night Junior Boys vibes, with perfect pop sing-along’s about a night on the town laid infectiously over the top of those hypnotic beats. Whenever I hear “Homemade Dynamite” it takes days to get it out of my head (dy-dy-dy-dynomite).

18. Tyler, the Creator – Flower Boy

While many old acts dusted off their A-games and a few young guns broke on through, no artist this year was more surprising than Tyler. Long written off as a homophobic infantile flash in the pan, the least interesting member of a crew (Wolf Gang) that he single handedly launched, Tyler did a lot of growing up in 2017. Flower Boy is a testament to that growth. The hip-hop equivalent to former fellow crew member Frank Ocean’s Blond, Flower Boy is a kaleidoscopic trip through acid rap tinged with a hint of g-funk. While I never find personal politics compelling when it comes to artistic statements, the fact that the former gay-basher came out himself is important not for who he professes to sleep with, but for the giant emotional leap such an ideational 180 requires. Having come so far as an artist, I cannot wait to see where Tyler goes next.

17. TOPS – Sugar at the Gate

TOPS are perhaps the most precise band on this list. When left to my own devices I tend to gravitate to loose punk and dance music, and I am an avowed enemy of soft rock, but there is just something irresistible about this band. The whole thing never drifts out of a narrowly restrained emotional range, and yet at the same time remains impeccably locked-in, like a krautrock metronome played on a chintzy synthesizer. There’s a song on this record called “Dayglow Bimbo”; that’s all you really need to know.

16. Sza – Ctrl

With the exception of Kendrick I’m not sure who cast a wider cultural net this year, Lorde or Sza? Ctrl is one of those albums that seemed to cross all scene boundaries, if it were still the 1990s it’d be one of those cd’s that was in everyone’s car (like Californication or Sublime). Ctrl is an R&B record that is simultaneously chill and bumping. Sza sings, not to the audience, but as if she’s alone in her apartment, letting her emotions out to the music playing on the radio in the background.

15. Run the Jewels – RTJ3

Run the Jewels appear to be the victims of their own success. After two universally revered albums of mic passing mc showdowns that also managed to be locked-into their historical moment, album three was enjoyed and largely forgotten as more of the same. Perhaps this is my contrarian nature shining through, but I honestly like RTJ3 more than RTJ2, an album many embraced as the most important album the year it came out. Killer Mike and EL-P remain in top form, and the group is probably more relevant than they’ve ever been. “Call Ticketron” is still my go-to Friday afternoon ducking out of work early jam.

14. Kevin Morby – City Music

Like Protomartyr, Kevin Morby just puts out incredible record after incredible record, literally every year. For my tastes Singing Saw remains his finest work, but City Music has really grown on me over the course of the year. I caught him at the Turf Club and these songs really come alive in person. This album is more restrained than his previous output, but there is a certain beauty in its restraint. This album reminds me of another exquisite work of countrified city music, Bright Eyes’ I’m Wide Awake its Morning. The perfect album for wandering around city streets at night, wondering what it all means.

13. Brockhampton – Saturation II

I first learned about Brockhampton while waiting for my to-go order sitting at the counter at World Street Kitchen. Some of the local youths were talking about the new Jay-Z record so I decided to wade into the fray, throwing my hat squarely in the ‘I don’t really care about Jay-Z anymore’ ring. One of the youths responded he was too busy listening to this new collective of kids out in LA that were like a westcoast Wu-Tang Clan to bother with Jay-Z. Well, my interest was certainly peaked, and Saturation II did not disappoint. The album bristles with energy as the mic moves from mc to mc, all of whose individual styles vary but still manage to cohere into a definitive whole (is it clear I still haven’t figured out who is who in this crew?). While none of the sounds are new, Saturation II is definitely the sound of the future of hip-hop.

12. Vagabon – Infinite Worlds

This album checks all my boxes. Loud guitars. Thudding drums with liberal use of the cymbals. Quirky narrative lyrics. Sounds like it was recorded live to tape in someone’s backroom. (And its even got a super hazy synth song with a French title.) The chorus of the first track is “You’re a shark that hates everything.” A more aggressive Pavement. A less sad Bedhead. Bonus points for being vaguely from Brooklyn and having a great song called “Minneapolis.”

11. Kamasi Washington – Harmony of Difference

Following the three-disc sprawl of the aptly titled The Epic with a 6 song E.P. (clocking in at a very economical 32 minutes) felt slightly underwhelming at first. We are used to having so much Kamasi, it was something you could get lost in, like a Russian novel. However, while Kamasi certainly excels on the astral plane, this set benefits from concision. It’s one thing to write a novel and another to pen a short story. Kamasi is able to use his saxophone to portray both, sometimes within the same song –the opener “Desire” is both a mellow group cut and clarion solo, all within just 4 and a ½ minutes.

10. John Maus – Screen Memories

Of all the people on this list, John Maus is definitely the weirdest. In all honesty, his music sounds like it was made by Ross Geller, with one notable exception, it’s really fucking good. Often linked with Ariel Pink, I’ve honestly never really found them comparable. I find Pink’s music vapid and uninteresting, whereas Maus’ synth tracks are full of such life and oddness, all while remaining compellingly melodic. His baritone singing is less a vocal performance and more another layer of tone piled into the composition. Maus does more with stark base, futuristic (i.e. 1980s) synths, and rudimentary drum machines than others do with entire symphonies.

9. The War on Drugs – A Deeper Understanding

I honestly didn’t think 2017 was as good a year for music as some of its recent predecessors, but then I realized this album is number 9 on my list and I had to come to terms with the fact that the peaks of this year are incredibly high. A few years back Lost in the Dream was my number one album of the year, and I like A Deeper Understanding just as much. Over the years Adam Granduciel has come to perfect a sound obviously indebted to a few key influences, and yet a sound somehow entirely his own. Even though he’s a Philadelphia musician, Granduciel has somehow come to encapsulate the ennui of the late capitalist American middle west. These songs are haunting, filled with the charged emptiness of ambient music. But they are also filled with giant guitar solos that would put Jeff Tweedy to shame. I’ve seen this band several times dating all the way back to 2008. When I saw them this fall they were bonafide rock stars. I imagine this is what it must have been like to see Neil Young circa On the Beach. It was a treat.

8. Wolf Parade – Cry Cry Cry

Dear America, what gives? How come no one seems to love this record? Everyone seems to like it, but no one seems to love it. This album is great, and I won’t accept anything less. A band cursed by a universally revered debut and multiple equally successful sideprojects that split the votes of the true believers, Wolf Parade have somehow managed to be critical darlings, popular, and yet somehow are also underrated. Cry Cry Cry is to my ear arguably their second best album, which isn’t to say I was disheartened with Mt. Zoomer or Expo ’86. The new record has something for every member of the Wolf Parade expanded universe, the propulsive Dan fist-pumper (“Artificial Life” “You’re Dreaming”), the moody opener (“Lazarus Online”), and most importantly, the sprawling Spencer epic (“Baby Blue”). Wolf Parade were another bygone band I was fortunate enough to see in 2017. It was arguably the best show of the entire lot, and somehow it wasn’t a sellout. What gives, America?

7. Strange Ranger – Daymoon

Daymoon is my cause célèbre of 2017. Largely overlooked by the press, this is the most perfect fall album I’ve heard in years. It creaks. It echoes. It’s full of odd flourishes. “Haunting” is an adjective I feel is mostly misapplied but fits this album like a glove. I don’t know if there is actually a theremin on this record (or a singing saw) but it always feels like one is humming softly in the background. If you loved the Microphones’ The Glow, Pt II, early Modest Mouse, or Neutral Milk Hotel give this album a spin when you feel like taking a long walk in a golden post-harvest field, or at least feel like doing so in your mind.

6. Slowdive– Slowdive

This album has no business being anywhere near as amazing as it is. While Souvlaki remains one of my all time favorite records, it was always the exception, not the rule. As I learned from the great Pitchfork documentary, one of the reasons Souvlaki was so distinct, besides the inclusion of personal hero Brian Eno of course, is that the two front people in the band were in the process of breaking up while making that record. 1995’s Pygmalion was essentially an (uninteresting) solo affair, and that was it, Slowdive faded along with the shoegaze movement of which they were a central figure. Suddenly here we are in 2017, the band is inexplicably back, and almost more amazing is just how great a record Slowdive is. It’s like the follow up to Souvlaki was frozen in carbonite (timely reference!) and perfectly preserved so it could be unveiled 25 years in the future. If “Slomo” isn’t 2017’s best song, it’s certainly its most beautiful.

5. Daniele Luppi & Parquet Courts – Milano

To loosely paraphrase Ferris Bueller, I’ve never been to Milan, I’m not Milanese, what do I care about an album devoted to the city put together by an Italian composer I don’t know? Well, collaborating with Parquet Courts and Karen O is certainly an irresistible start. On paper the whole thing sounds like a mess, and yet the finished product is a taught 9 tracks that breezes by in 30 minutes like an alfa romeo. While I might not know anything about Milan, especially Milan in the 80s, somehow this album manages to evoke that place, or at least an idea of that place. A large part of this has to do with the arty coolness Parquet Courts have always exuded. They can emblematize any hip scene, be it Ridgewood in the 2010s or Milan in the 1980s. They just have that wiry sound and jittery energy that calls to mind fashionable afterparties and mountains of cocaine. While I love both of Parquet Courts singers, I never would have imagined that Karen O is actually the perfect frontwoman for this band, sorta like Nico and the Velvet Underground. Here’s hoping the Courts enjoyed working with her more than Lou Reed did with the German chanteuse. Give “Flush” a listen, I guarantee you start strutting.

4. Vince Staples – Big Fish Theory

Every now and then there is an artist whose debut is an instant classic, and then somehow manages to grow even further on each subsequent release. For this current generation, besides Kanye, that person is Vince Staples. Summertime ’06 was a double disc perfect rendition of classic LA hip-hop that was also a sneaky great album to dance to. Big Fish Theory is possibly the most formally experimental hip-hop album I’ve ever heard. If you cut out the vocals, it’d be an avante guarde electronic dance album. Throw Vince’s perfect flow over the top, and you have a Frankenstein monster of hip-hop and dance music that somehow manages to be a seamless union of the two. I’m still mad at my friend Evelyn for skipping this at Shrizz’ wedding this past summer. The nerve of some people.

3. White Reaper – The World’s Best American Band

I sincerely hope you like Cheap Trick. And not ironically. Like, you actually really like Cheap Trick. If so, I’ll be goddamned if this isn’t a perfect album of fist-pumping arena rock made by a bunch of basement punks from Louisville. If you don’t like Cheap Trick, well then, you just might not get why this is so great. Every track is a perfect nugget of 70s style power pop with just enough of a hint of punk to make it somehow sound fresh. In a year when I saw most of my favorite bands make triumphant returns from the grave, seeing these guys blow the roof off the tiny 7th Street Entry was probably the most fun I’ve had straight up rocking out in some time. I’ve never owned a jean jacket in my life, but this album makes me want to buy one.

2. LCD Soundsystem – American Dream

Now I know I’m a hyperbolic person. Every bar is my “favorite,” every track is the “best,” but I’m being legit when I say LCD Soundsytem are the most important band of my lifetime. I bought the self-titled album at a CD store on State Street in Madison shortly before leaving town and moving to New York. Sound of Silver was the soundtrack of my 20s. By the time they broke up my 20s were over and all my friends started moving out of New York. If I came of age in the 70s this band would probably be Bowie or in the 80s it would have been New Order, but as someone who gradually became an adult during the late 00’s, this was the most important band, not only to me, but to most everyone I know. It was of course also crucial that they were the official band of Brooklyn. They were there, as the song goes, and so were we. I honestly never understood the overwrought handwringing that accompanied their return. Are you really going to be mad at having more LCD in your life just because they once told you “that’s it, it’s all over”? American Dream is just as good as anything they’ve ever put out. I’d put “Other Voices,” “Change Yr Mind,” and “Tonite” up there with the best songs they’ve ever penned. Getting to see them tour once again, with both old New York friends and new Minnesotans, in a new town, in a new phase of existence, was the cherry on top of the electro funk sundae.

1. Kendrick Lamar – Damn.

People call him King, and it is a worthy title. Throughout music history the truly all-time greats always had someone who was their dialectical opposite spur them on to greater accomplishments—Beatles and Stones, Michael and Prince, Pumpkins and Pavement (not that either would acknowledge the other)—and now we have two titans of hip-hop pushing each other in radically different directions. Kanye is the pop perfectionist, the Michael Jackson, the Paul McCartney, everything he touches turns to gold. Kendrick is the flawless technical savant, he is literally the best, no one is better. Pick your favorite MC from throughout hip-hop history, they all have their idiosyncrasies and particular strengths (Rahim has technical prowess, Andre has speed, Q-tip has an inimitably odd flow) somehow Kendrick is better at all of all those things than all of those legends. No one’s voice is more varied, no one is a better rhymer, and no one has ever matched rhyme to rhythm this side of Shakespeare (that’s not hyperbole, well maybe Frank O’Hara). Just listen to the subtle variations in “Lust” that somehow tell a person’s entire day, an entire lifestyle, in a sentence or two. It’s not just he’s the best at spitting lines, he also has the ability to intertwine those rhymes into infectious pop structures. Kendrick has released 3 albums that people are aware of (and 4 overall), and those three are all amongst the top albums of the decade. Each one overbrims with classic tunes. “Humble” was the song of the year before Damn. even dropped, and the rest of the album lived up to the hype of that single. I’m still not exactly sure what “If I gotta slap a pussy-ass ni***, I'ma make it look sexy” means, but goddamn if I don’t love it and still perfectly understand it. This record is so good it somehow makes U2 cool. In a year where everything seemed to go wrong, Damn. was there to remind us that there will always be beauty in the chaos, so long as you don’t forget to keep searching it out.

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dazzledbybooks · 5 years

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We are celebrating the release of 5 amazing bundles (20-24) from 1001 Dark Nights! Each bundle features novellas from 4 bestselling authors. The bundles released today, and you can grab your copies by going to the links below. Check out the book trailer for the bundles! 1001 Dark Nights Bundle 20 Featuring: Rebecca Zanetti, Kristen Ashley, Larissa Ione, and Laura Kaye About this Bundle: From New York Times and USA Today bestselling authors Rebecca Zanetti, Kristen Ashley, Larissa Ione, and Laura Kaye. Four Dark Tales. Four Sensual Stories. Four Page Turners. BLAZE ERUPTING: Scorpius Syndrome/A Brigade Novella by Rebecca Zanetti Hugh Johnson is nobody’s hero, and the idea of being in the limelight makes him want to growl. He takes care of his brothers, does his job, and enjoys a mellow evening hanging with his hound dog and watching the sports channel. So when sweet and sexy Ellie Smithers from his college chemistry class asks him to save millions of people from a nuclear meltdown, he doggedly steps forward while telling himself that the world hasn’t changed and he can go back to his relaxing life. One look at Ellie and excitement doesn’t seem so bad. ROUGH RIDE: A Chaos Novella by Kristen Ashley Rosalie Holloway put it all on the line for the Chaos Motorcycle Club. Informing to Chaos on their rival club—her man’s club, Bounty—Rosalie knows the stakes. And she pays them when her man, who she was hoping to scare straight, finds out she’s betrayed him and he delivers her to his brothers to mete out their form of justice. But really, Rosie has long been denying that, as she drifted away from her Bounty, she’s been falling in love with Everett “Snapper” Kavanagh, a Chaos brother. Snap is the biker-boy-next door with the snowy blue eyes, quiet confidence and sweet disposition who was supposed to keep her safe…and fell down on that job. HAWKYN: A Demonica Novella by Larissa Ione As a special class of earthbound guardian angel called Memitim, Hawkyn is charged with protecting those whose lives are woven into the fabric of the future. His success is legendary, so when he’s given a serial killer to watch over, he sees no reason for that to change. But Hawkyn’s own future is jeopardized after he breaks the rules and rescues a beautiful woman from the killer’s clutches, setting off an explosive, demonic game of cat and mouse that pits brother against brother and that won’t end until someone dies. RIDE DIRTY: A Raven Riders Novella by Laura Kaye Caine McKannon is all about rules. As the Raven Riders’ Sergeant-at-Arms, he prizes loyalty to his brothers and protection of his club. As a man, he takes pleasure wherever he can get it but allows no one close—because distance is the only way to ensure people can’t hurt you. And he’s had enough pain for a lifetime. Kids and school are kindergarten teacher Emma Kerry’s whole life, so she’s stunned to realize she has an enemy—and even more surprised to find a protector in the intimidating man who saved her. Tall, dark, and tattooed, Caine is unlike any man Emma’s ever known, and she’s as uncertain of him as she is attracted. Every Dark Nights tale is breathtakingly sexy and magically romantic. Purchase your copy of BUNDLE 20 today! Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon CA | Amazon AU Check out the authors: Rebecca Zanetti | Kristen Ashley | Larissa Ione | Laura Kaye ------------------- 1001 Dark Nights Bundle 21 Featuring: Joanna Wylde, Jennifer Probst, Elisabeth Naughton, and Carrie Ann Ryan About this Bundle: From New York Times and USA Today bestselling authors Joanna Wylde, Jennifer Probst, Elisabeth Naughton, and Carrie Ann Ryan. Four Dark Tales. Four Sensual Stories. Four Page Turners. ROME’S CHANCE: A Reapers MC Novella by Joanna Wylde Rome McGuire knew he was in trouble the first time he saw her. She was sweet and pretty and just about perfect in every way. Randi Whittaker was also too young and innocent for the Reapers Motorcycle Club. He did the right thing, and walked away. The second time, he couldn’t resist tasting her. Walking away wasn’t so easy that time, but her family needed her and he had a job to do. When she came around a third time, he’d had enough. Randi had been given two chances to escape, and now it was time for Rome to take his. THE MARRIAGE ARRANGEMENT: A Marriage to a Billionaire Novella by Jennifer Probst Caterina Victoria Windsor fled her family winery after a humiliating broken engagement, and spent the past year in Italy rebuilding her world. But when Ripley Savage shows up with a plan to bring her back home, and an outrageous demand for her to marry him, she has no choice but to return to face her past. But when simple attraction begins to run deeper, Cat has to decide if she’s strong enough to trust again…and strong enough to stay… SURRENDER: A House of Sin Novella by Elisabeth Naughton The leaders of my House want her dead. The men I’ve secretly aligned myself with want her punished for screwing up their coup. I’ve been sent by both to deal with her, but one look at the feisty redhead and I’ve got plans of my own. Before I carry out anyone else’s orders, she’s going to give me what I want. And only when I’m satisfied will I decide if she lives or dies. Depending, of course, on just how easily she surrenders... INKED NIGHTS: A Montgomery Ink Novella by Carrie Ann Ryan Tattoo artist, Derek Hawkins knows the rules: One night a month. No last names. No promises. Olivia Madison has her own rules: Don’t fall in love. No commitment. Never tell Derek the truth. When their worlds crash into each other however, Derek and Olivia will have to face what they fought to ignore as well as the connection they tried to forget. Every Dark Nights tale is breathtakingly sexy and magically romantic. Purchase your copy of BUNDLE 21 today! Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon CA | Amazon AU Check out the authors: Joanna Wylde | Jennifer Probst | Elisabeth Naughton | Carrie Ann Ryan ------------------- 1001 Dark Nights Bundle 22 Featuring: Rachel Van Dyken, Lexi Blake, Jennifer L. Armentrout, and J. Kenner About this Bundle: From New York Times and USA Today bestselling authors Rachel Van Dyken, Lexi Blake, Jennifer L. Armentrout, and J. Kenner. Four Dark Tales. Four Sensual Stories. Four Page Turners. ENVY: An Eagle Elite Novella by Rachel Van Dyken Every family has rules, the mafia just has more.... Do not speak to the bosses unless spoken to. Do not make eye contact unless you want to die. And above all else, do not fall in love. Renee Cassani's future is set. Her betrothal is set. Her life, after nannying for the five families for the summer, is set. Somebody should have told Vic Colezan that. He's a man who doesn't take no for an answer. And he only wants one thing. Her. Somebody should have told Renee that her bodyguard needed as much discipline as the kids she was nannying. Good thing Vic has a firm hand. PROTECTED: A Masters and Mercenaries Novella by Lexi Blake Years before, Wade Rycroft fell in love with Geneva Harris, the smartest girl in his class. The rodeo star and the shy academic made for an odd pair but their chemistry was undeniable. They made plans to get married after high school but when Genny left him standing in the rain, he joined the Army and vowed to leave that life behind. Genny married the town’s golden boy, and Wade knew that he couldn’t go home again. Fifteen years later, Wade returns to his Texas hometown for his brother’s wedding and walks into a storm of scandal. Genny’s marriage has dissolved and the town has turned against her. But when someone tries to kill his old love, Wade can’t refuse to help her. THE PRINCE: A Wicked Novella by Jennifer L. Armentrout Cold. Heartless. Deadly. Whispers of his name alone bring fear to fae and mortals alike. The Prince. There is nothing in the mortal world more dangerous than him. Haunted by a past he couldn’t control, all Caden desires is revenge against those who’d wronged him, trapping him in never-ending nightmare. And there is one person he knows can help him. Raised within the Order, Brighton Jussier knows just how dangerous the Prince is, reformed or not. She’d seen firsthand what atrocities he could be capable of. The last thing she wants to do is help him, but he leaves her little choice. Forced to work alongside him, she begins to see the man under the bitter ice. Yearning for him feels like the definition of insanity, but there’s no denying the heat in his touch and the wicked promise is his stare. PLEASE ME: A Stark Ever After Novella by Julie Kenner Each day with Damien is a miracle, each moment with our children a gift. And yet I cannot escape the growing sense that a storm is gathering, threatening to pull me away, to rip us apart. To drag me down, once again, into a darkness to which I swore never to return. I have to fight it—I know that. And I am waging the battle with of all my heart. But it is Damien who is my strength, and we both know that the only way to push away the darkness is for him to fold me in his arms and claim me completely. And for me to surrender myself, once again, to the fire that burns between us. Every Dark Nights tale is breathtakingly sexy and magically romantic. Purchase your copy of BUNDLE 22 today! Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon CA | Amazon AU Check out the authors: Rachel Van Dyken | Lexi Blake | Jennifer L. Armentrout | J. Kenner ------------------- 1001 Dark Nights Bundle 23 Featuring: Lorelei James, Kylie Scott, Donna Grant, and Kristen Proby About this Bundle: From New York Times and USA Today bestselling authors Lorelei James, Kylie Scott, Donna Grant, and Kristen Proby. Four Dark Tales. Four Sensual Stories. Four Page Turners. WOUND TIGHT: A Rough Riders/Blacktop Cowboys® Crossover by Lorelei James Bull rider Justin Donohue spent his youth hell-bent on winning world championships. After hitting the big 4-0, Justin takes a job at the Grade A Ranch and Rodeo School, where he immediately locks horns (and lips) with the sexy, sassy Callie—a 22-year-old cowgirl set on seducing him. From the moment Callie Morgan encounters the hot-as-fire new ranch hand, she knows his gruff manner is an attempt to mask his attraction to her. But she’s never backed down from a challenge, especially not when Justin’s actions speak louder than his denials. STRONG: A Stage Dive Novella by Kylie Scott As head of security to Stage Dive, one of the biggest rock bands in the world, Sam Knowles has plenty of experience dealing with trouble. But spoilt brat Martha Nicholson just might be the worst thing he’s ever encountered. The beautiful troublemaker claims to have reformed, but Sam knows better than to think with what’s in his pants. Unfortunately, it’s not so easy to make his heart fall into line. DRAGON NIGHT: A Dark Kings Novella by Donna Grant There has never been a hunt that Dorian has lost. With his sights set on a relic the Dragon Kings need to battle an ancient foe, he won’t let anything stand in his way – especially not the beautiful owner. Alexandra Sheridan is smart and cautious. Yet the attraction between them is impossible to deny – or ignore. But is it a road Dorian dares to travel down again? TEMPTING BROOKE: A Big Sky Novella by Kristen Proby Brooke’s Blooms has taken Cunningham Falls by surprise. This store is Brooke Henderson’s deepest joy, and it means everything to her, which shows in how completely she and her little shop have been embraced by the small community of Cunningham Falls. So, when her landlord dies and Brody Chabot saunters through her door, announcing that the building has been sold, and will soon be demolished, Brooke knows that she’s in for the fight of her life. But she hasn’t gotten this far by sitting back and quietly doing what she’s told. Brooke has no intention of losing this fight, no matter how tempting Brody’s smile -- and body -- is. Every Dark Nights tale is breathtakingly sexy and magically romantic. Purchase your copy of BUNDLE 23 today! Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon CA | Amazon AU Check out the authors: Lorelei James | Kylie Scott | Donna Grant | Kristen Proby ------------------- 1001 Dark Nights Bundle 24 Featuring: Heather Graham, K. Bromberg, Kendall Ryan, and Gena Showalter About this Bundle: From New York Times and USA Today bestselling authors Heather Graham, K. Bromberg, Kendall Ryan, and Gena Showalter. Four Dark Tales. Four Sensual Stories. Four Page Turners. HAUNTED BE THE HOLIDAYS: A Krewe of Hunters Novella by Heather Graham It’s Halloween at the Global Tower Theatre, a fantastic and historic theater owned by Adam Harrison and run by spouses of Krewe members. During a special performance, a strange actor makes an appearance in the middle of the show, warning of dire events if his murder is not solved before another holiday rolls around. Dakota McCoy and Brodie McFadden dive into the mystery. Both have a special talent for dealing with ghosts, but this one is proving elusive. With the help of Brodie’s diva mother and his ever-patient father—who were killed together when a stage chandelier fell upon them—Dakota and Brodie set out to solve the case. If they can't solve the murder quickly, there will be no Thanksgiving for the Krewe... CONTROL: An Everyday Heroes Novella by K. Bromberg Control is something Desi Whitman abhors. Why live life in black and white perfection when you can messily color outside the lines? But when she comes face to face with SWAT officer Reznor Mayne, he’s about to show her just how good control can feel. HUNKY HEARTBREAKERS: A Whiskey Kisses Novella by Kendall Ryan Everything’s bigger in Texas. And that includes Duke Wilder’s sexual appetite. Together with his twin brother, he runs a whiskey distillery, and when their business takes off—suddenly he’s got it all. Success. Money. Family. But he doesn’t have a woman to share it with. When Valentina storms into his life, her presence is only supposed to be temporary. She’s a feisty attorney hired to help clean up his company’s recent legal mess. He never counted on her being the one to turn his whole world upside down. THE DARKEST CAPTIVE: A Lords of the Underworld Novella by Gena Showalter For centuries, Galen the Treacherous has been the most hated immortal in the Underworld. Possessed by the demons of Jealousy and False Hope, he has always lived for a single purpose: destroy everything. Then he met her. Former demon turned human femme fatale — Legion Honey -- sought to kill Galen, but ended up parting with her virginity instead. Afraid of their sizzling connection, she ran away…and ended up trapped in hell, tortured and abused in the worst of ways. Now she’s free, and a shell of herself, afraid of her own shadow. Galen's hunger for Legion has only grown. Now the warrior with nothing to lose must help her rekindle the fire that once burned inside her. Every Dark Nights tale is breathtakingly sexy and magically romantic. Purchase your copy of BUNDLE 24 today! Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon CA | Amazon AU Check out the authors: Heather Graham | K. Bromberg | Kendall Ryan | Gena Showalter WATCH THE TRAILER

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davidcdelreal · 6 years

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A Surprising List of Successful People Who Filed for Bankruptcy – And Made It Back

A good friend once told me sometimes you have to take a step back to go forward.

That’s exactly what some famous, successful people did when they filed for bankruptcy. And most made it back to solvency.

Some even went well beyond their previous levels of wealth and fame after filing for bankruptcy.

In fact, for most it ended up being little more than a bump in the road of an otherwise successful life.

The point of this post isn’t to recommend bankruptcy. But it is to show experiencing financial disaster isn’t terminal! We all need to know this.

Rags-to-Riches-Back-to-Rags-Then-Back-to-Riches (Say That 10x Fast)

That’s the theme I found in researching these nine successful people who surprisingly filed for bankruptcy. Each came from humble beginnings. In fact, most grew up dirt poor and often in dysfunctional family backgrounds.

Three – Walt Disney, Cyndi Lauper and maybe Willie Nelson – marginally qualified as coming from middle-class backgrounds. Or maybe working poor was closer to the truth.

I think there’s a message in that. Coming from nothing may have been the “secret quality” that enabled each to bounce back from crushing financial troubles, and rise up like a phoenix.

Each came from nothing, or something close to it, took a chance – and failed – but got back up and tried again.

That’s the lesson in the lives of these successful people. It may not even be an exaggeration to say their recovery from bankruptcy was found in the poverty of their youth.

See if you can find any other encouraging patterns in the lives of the people on this list. We’ll discuss a few at the very end of this post.

Abraham Lincoln

Surprised? I was. Abraham Lincoln is widely considered to be the greatest of American presidents – right up there with George Washington.

He managed to hold the country together during the Civil War, which was the single greatest challenge to the nation’s unity in its history. Uniting the country against foreign enemies can be a tall order. Overseeing a conflict of American-versus-American is a crisis with a dimension all its own. Lincoln succeeded.

But Abraham Lincoln wasn’t always president or even a politician.

Early in his life, he was a storekeeper. It was 1833, Lincoln was in his 20s, and he and a partner opened a general store in new Salem, Illinois. It didn’t go well for the man who wrote and delivered the Gettysburg Address.

Lincoln and his partner purchased inventory from other stores on credit. But the business didn’t do well, and debts mounted. Lincoln sold his stake in the store, but his business partner later died. Lincoln then became liable for $1,000 in obligations, worth about $28,000 today.

There’s a little bit of a glitch in this story. Modern bankruptcy didn’t exist in the 1830s, not the way it does today. Instead of filing for bankruptcy, then moving on with his life, Lincoln was required to repay his creditors over 17 years.

It was actually from the ashes of that business failure that Lincoln began his political career, launching his campaign for the Illinois General Assembly. His bid failed, but he became a lawyer shortly after. And on his second run for office, he then served for successive terms in the Illinois House of Representatives. In 1846 he was elected to the US House of Representatives.

In 1860, he was elected the 16th president of the US – one of the most beloved in history.

Dave Ramsey

Let’s fast-forward, oh – about 150 years – right up to our own time.

If you spend much time on financial blogs, including Good Financial Cents, you’ve probably heard of Dave Ramsey. He’s one of the most famous and widely read personal financial advisors of all time.

But his rise to that level was hardly a straight line to pay dirt.

Dave came out of the starting gate like a championship horse. By the age of 26, he built a portfolio of rental real estate worth over $4 million through his brokerage firm, Ramsey Investments, Inc. He had become a superstar in the real estate market of his home state of Tennessee at a very tender age.

But success didn’t last. His real estate holdings were heavily leveraged, and creditors began calling in his debts. This forced him to file for bankruptcy.

Much like Abraham Lincoln, as Ramsey emerged from bankruptcy, he began to move in a different direction. Rather than trying to resurrect his real estate empire, he instead began providing financial counseling for couples at his local church.

At the same time, he began attending workshops and seminars on consumer financial problems. From those seminars and from the teachings of other personal finance counselors – as well as from his own experience – he put together a set of lessons and materials.

On request from many of his clients, he wrote his first book, Financial Peace, in 1992.

That was just the beginning of Dave Ramsey’s post-bankruptcy life. Shortly after, he co-hosted a local financial radio program that eventually grew into The Dave Ramsey Show.

That radio program airs on 550 stations and reaches an estimated 8.5 million listeners.

And Dave Ramsey’s current net worth? How about $55 million!

MC Hammer

MC Hammer rose to fame on the song U Can’t Touch This, in 1990. The song wasn’t even fully original. It was largely a remake of Super Freak, released by Rick James in 1981. (For the record, Rick James also participated in the creation of U Can’t Touch This.)

The song wasn’t just popular from an entertainment standpoint alone. It’s been an ongoing commercial success, playing in movies, TV shows, commercials and elsewhere as background music. 27 years after its release, it’s one of the most recognizable songs ever.

Like so many successful celebrities, MC Hammer grew up poor.

But he developed an entrepreneurial streak in childhood. Living near the Oakland Coliseum, home to the Oakland A’s, he made money selling stray baseballs and dancing to a beatboxer. As a teenager, he worked as a bat boy for the A’s. It was there Reggie Jackson gave him the name “Hammer”, because of his resemblance to Hank Aaron.

His baseball experience set the stage for his entertainment career. At the peak of that career, he had an estimated net worth of over $33 million.

But as is often the case with celebrities, money management wasn’t his strong suit. He spent too much on luxuries and on supporting family and friends. By 1996, and $13 million in debt, he filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

But MC Hammer’s money troubles continued to follow him even after bankruptcy. In 2011, the IRS filed a lawsuit for nearly $800,000 in back taxes.

But Hammer handled it all, and has recently been reported to be worth $1.5 million. That’s not close to what he had at his financial peak. But this is the guy who’s shown the ability (and talent) to roll with the punches, and rise to new heights.

Walt Disney

Another famous person from humble beginnings, Walt Disney showed entrepreneurial drive at an early age. But he also filed for bankruptcy, while still barely more than a teenager. And it almost happened a few years later, just before one of his greatest successes.

Born in 1901, Disney formed Laugh-O-Gram Studio in 1920, making animated fairytales. He got a financial backer, and began building a staff of animators. But the financial backer went broke, leaving Disney unable to pay his animators or his debts. The company filed bankruptcy in 1921.

Using a loan from family, he started a new company in 1923.

It was in 1928 that he created Mickey Mouse, causing his career to take off. But when he began to make his first full-length animated movie – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) – costs outstripped available financial resources. Production costs reached $1.5 million, three times more than the original budget. The movie almost wasn’t released.

Close to bankruptcy once again, Disney was able to get a bank loan to complete the film and release the movie.

That was the event that set Disney on a roll that would last the rest of his life. The film grossed $6.5 million – more than four times the production budget.

It became the most successful motion picture of 1938, and the most successful sound film made up to that point. It was followed by other Disney classics, including Pinocchio and Fantasia.

When he died in 1966, Walt Disney was estimated to be worth an incredible $5 billion.

How much would that be in today’s dollars? Wow!

Imagine what we wouldn’t have today if Walt Disney gave up and quit after he filed bankruptcy back in the 1920s?

P.T. Barnum

This one is a trip back to the days of Abraham Lincoln, but it has a contemporary link through the movie, The Greatest Showman. The movie is well worth seeing. Phineas Taylor Barnum literally rose up from street poverty (and an orphan to boot), to become quite possibly – as the movie title suggests – the greatest showman ever.

He was the founder of Barnum & Bailey Circus (more recently known as Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus), which lasted from 1871 to 2017.

But like other entrepreneurs and self-made millionaires on the celebrity bankruptcy list, P.T. Barnum’s rise to the top was hardly a straight line.

Born in 1810 (one year after Abraham Lincoln), he started his career as a showman at the age of 25. By 1841 he purchased Scudder’s American Museum in New York City, upgrading the building and adding exhibits. He turned it into one of the most popular show places in the city.

But the building burned down five times, after which Barnum built it into a city of its own. The cost was enormous, and not supported by the revenue it generated. Barnum was forced into bankruptcy.

His recovery came when he began lecturing on “The Art of Money Getting”, which might’ve been his greatest talent. The income he earned on those lectures enabled him to repay his debts.

That set the stage for the venture P.T. Barnum became best known for – the three-ring circus. That came about when he was 64 years old (proof age was never a barrier to success – even way back in 1873!).

Barnum was one of the first circus owners to create a moving circus and believed to be THE first to buy his own train to make it happen.

George Foreman

George Foreman is a former boxer and current entrepreneur. He won the gold medal in the heavyweight division of the 1968 Olympics. Shortly after, he turned professional and won the world heavyweight title in 1973.

He retired from boxing, moved back to his hometown, and became an ordained Christian minister. He started a youth center for troubled children, where they could participate in sports. But the declining income led him to file for bankruptcy in 1983.

The bankruptcy aside, Foreman continued his ministry, as well as the operation of the youth center. He also launched a boxing comeback. In 1994 – at the age of 45 – he regained a portion of the heavyweight championship. To date, he’s the oldest world heavyweight champion in history.

Foreman finally retired from boxing in 1997, at the age of 48. But by the time he did, he had a record 76 wins – including 68 knockouts – against just five losses.

During his second boxing career, he began lending his name to advertise various products on TV. He also reinvented his public personality. Once a menacing boxer, he adopted a friendly personality that was warmly received by the public – and a critical component of his success as an entrepreneur.

Following his active boxing career, he spent 12 years as a ringside analyst for HBO. Along the way, he launched the George Foreman Grill, which sold over 100 million units worldwide. He sold the naming rights to the grill in 1999 for a whopping $138 million.

Incredibly, George Foreman’s current net worth has been estimated at $300 million.

Cyndi Lauper

Much like Walt Disney, Lauper’s bankruptcy came before she had success. She spent several years singing and writing songs for a group called Blue Angel. The group’s first album was launched in 1980, but never caught on with the public. This forced Lauper to file for bankruptcy in 1981.

From there, she worked in restaurants and retail to keep herself afloat. Success came with the 1983 release of her She’s So Unusual album, that included Cyndi Lauper classics, like Money Changes Everything, Time After Time, She Bop, All Through the Night and Girls Just Want to Have Fun.

That’s a virtual career’s worth of big hits!

But that was just the beginning of her run of superstardom. Other albums followed, including True Colors, as well as several industry awards. In 1985, she released The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough, as part of the soundtrack to the movie The Goonies.

Lauper’s dramatic recovery from bankruptcy wasn’t her first “rebirth”. In 1977, she damaged her vocal chords and was told by doctors she would never sing again. Six years later, she released She’s So Unusual, and became a modern music legend.

As the saying goes, it’s hard to hold a good man down. Or in this case, a good woman.

Today, Cyndi Lauper has an estimated net worth of $30 million.

Willie Nelson

One of the most prolific country singers ever, Willie Nelson was born to a struggling family at the height of the Great Depression. His music career was motivated by – if you can believe it – his hatred of picking cotton.

It was a common local occupation in his Arkansas hometown, and one his family participated in. He chose instead to earn money by singing in local dance halls and taverns, beginning at age 13.

After high school, he held a variety of odd jobs, one of which was a disc jockey at a radio station in Texas. It was a major break. He was able to use the equipment at the radio station to launch his first recordings, and begin his professional music career.

It was the beginning of a career that would last decades, enabling him to reach legend status.

Nelson didn’t file for bankruptcy but faced something perhaps much worse. In 1990, the IRS claimed he owed $32 million, and seized his assets. The debt had largely been created by his former manager, who failed to pay taxes for a number of years.

Nelson turned to his music and fame to ultimately settle the debt, which was subsequently reduced to $16 million. He released an album called The IRS Tapes: Who’ll Buy My Memories? All profits went to the IRS. As well, many of his assets were auctioned off.

Ultimately his tax debt was paid by a settlement from his previous accounting firm, whom he claimed had put his money into illegal tax shelters. Nelson was financially in the clear by 1993.

After that, he released several albums and continued to tour.

Today he has an estimated net worth of $15 million.

Elton John

One of the most successful artists of all time, Elton John sold more than 300 million records. He produced more than 50 Top 40 hits, and seven consecutive number one albums in the US.

His tribute to Princess Diana Candle in the Wind 1997 – originally written as a tribute to Marilyn Monroe – sold over 33 million copies. It was the biggest selling song in history in both the US and Britain. He was even knighted by Queen Elizabeth II.

Elton John is also one of the longest lasting musical talents in history. He first achieved fame in 1970 with the release of the single Your Song, which reach number seven in the UK, and number eight in the US.

It was an elevator ride up from there. Hit albums were being churned out almost annually, and he reached superstar status with the release of the Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album in 1973, and Caribou in 1974.

But like so many celebrities, Elton John enjoyed a lavish lifestyle. In 2002, he declared bankruptcy after incurring huge debts on properties he owned all over the world. Wikipedia also confirms he went on a two-year spending spree – around 2000 – in which he spent about 1.5 million British pounds per month (well over $2 million per month).

The episode proved to be only a temporary setback for the music icon. Beginning in 2003, he entered an agreement to perform 75 shows over three years at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.

He contributed productions for Walt Disney movies and did concert tours on a regular basis. No doubt royalties from previous songs and performances also provided a steady cash flow.

As of 2018, Elton John’s wealth has been estimated at $450 million.

The Take-aways From Successful People Who Filed for Bankruptcy and Made it Back

What can we learn from the lives of these nine people? Here’s what I came up with:

Poverty early in life wasn’t an obstacle. As I wrote at the very beginning, it may have been poverty early in life that enabled them to survive a financial disaster, then rebuild.

Bankruptcy didn’t stop them. Each not only rebuilt their lives but most went on to greater heights after bankruptcy.

Financial troubles were often caused by mismanagement. What we see in these nine is a pattern of:

Going deep into debt to launch a business venture

Financial mismanagement, including nonpayment of income tax

Trusting in, or providing for, people close in their lives (managers, friends, family, etc.)

Excessive spending

The last three are common causes of bankruptcy. The first happens when you start a business venture. That has to be considered as a possibility for anyone who does – think of it as an occupational hazard.

Most have a strong entrepreneurial drive. They fail at one business venture, but get back up and try another. With the exception of Abraham Lincoln, each was or is an entrepreneur at heart. Business failure comes with the territory. It didn’t scare them away, and it shouldn’t scare us either.

They’re all risktakers. I think it’s safe to say each of these individuals ended up in bankruptcy because they were taking chances. Failure is always a possibility when you do.

Bankruptcy isn’t life ending. In each of the nine cases, financial failure wasn’t the end of the road. Each got back up, made another charge, and hit pay dirt. Most of them even had their best days after filing for bankruptcy.

I think that’s the biggest lesson of all – failure is only the end if we let it be.

And we don’t have to.

The post A Surprising List of Successful People Who Filed for Bankruptcy – <em>And Made It Back</em> appeared first on Good Financial Cents.

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