#maybe… [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog…

[eternal-reverie]

got the posting anxiety bad tonight

#click clack #ok a peak into my thought process and anxiety here we go #ok so the art is almost done and up to standard I would post onto my art blog #BUT for some reason the thought of posting art of my ocs there scares me #because even tho it’s my art blog in my mind it’s the equivalent to a art gallery that demands being detached????? from the art #like once I share it there it’s no longer ‘mine’ but to the public #and my ocs (plus the stories that go with them) are like the closest to my heart and relinquishing them feels like a lot #a part of my imagination that I spent so much time with developing over the years to be placed up for judgement… #so then the solution could be to put it here on my personal! the online space cozy enough and filled with other posts that could easily bury #the original posts I put here #but there goes my other dilemma. i don’t want them too associated with my personal for if one day i do muster up something for publication #my big fear is that ppl will find this space and go thru everything. the fear of being perceived and judged 😵‍💫 #all the hypotheticals and anxiety for something that may not even happen #dumb mind problems my head made up 🙄 #anyway writing it out helped lol I’m posting it to my art blog I decided 👍 #I have to work on getting that blog to be comfortable space to post… i should lower that silly self imposed standard I set for myself #and be whatever about ppl being aware of my online presences #maybe… [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog… #I should take my friends suggestion and make a website to feature my ocs…🤔 #idk my only other solution that doesn’t feel viable to mitigate the anxiety is to slowly introduce my ocs in the background of setting art #just a slow drip until they are in the forefront #bleghhh whatever much ado about nothing it’s like I never posted my ocs ever when I have indeed posted them before on both places ( º＿º ) #I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row… I have curator disease??? 🫨 #or something I used to be very particular about what order I reblog stuff like it used to be by color and content balanced out #I still do to a lesser degree… but it used to be pretty bad #post order compulsion???? #the fear of being abrupt and incohesive in between posts… #if you read this far thanks you can now see how much this consumes me 🙃