#maybe next yr?? but probably not

[icewindandboringhorror]

reminders of the passage of time moodeboard

#my blog is in his last year of middle school. he'll be off to high school next year (at least I think so..? 13 yrs old is usually 8th grade #at least from my experience. 9th graders are usually 14. 10th are 15. etc. etc. and then you're in 12th grade #and graduate high school usually 17yrs old.) ANYWAY.. wow he is so ancient.. #maybe he's still in a preteeny early teen emo phase or something.. I hope he gets some black and white striped armwarmers and black eyeline #r for his birthday. Maybe an MP3 player of course. Though because I don't really like most alternative music and he is my son he's actually #not allowed to listen to metal or pop punk or emo rock whatever stuff. I open the mp3 player and pre-stock it with only #disco and funk and classical music. he can have a little chiptune or techno stuff as a treat (sometimes emo adjacent maybe more #scene. I think a lot of scene kids were into that more.. emo's weird eccentric brother)) #Also he starts taking iron pills his 13th birthday because he's probably incredibly anemic just like me #so on and so forth and et cetera (I'm just being silly.. I am not pro-controlling your children down to whatmusic they #listen to or etc.etc. lol) #THOUGH I love that it's in january... january is one of my favorite months if not my favorite. yeeaaay #just such a nice cool month. I like that it's the start of the year mostly and that it's sometimes snowy here. Like where I live nov - dec #isnt really actually snowy?? You always associate those winter Months with snow but I think snow happens later on this coast #so it's more like Jan - March or even april sometimes. Though that may just be climate change lol.. But it's cool that Jan is winter AND #ACTUALLY snowy. plus the Beginning Of Year vibes and energy.. hrm... nice nice.. ANYWAY #AND this is not even my first tumblr blog. I had a different one before it I think.. #evviilll to be on one website for so long lol.. Very thankful that most websites I used to use as a 10 year old or whatever #are now defunct. There's something weird about how humans are just creating endless streams of words and pictures and all of this stuff #and it just goes out into the void and stays there long after the person themselves has forgotten it. not even like 'oh no what if i said #something bad!!' but more just the general sense of.. people create so much more ideas than they can actually hold in their heads. nobody #remembers exactly word for word every post they've ever made or etc. It's like parts of yourself that you've externalized and then fade awa #from you but they're still you but they're not so you just have little snapshots of yourself in time floating around entirely unbenknownst #to you. like making clones of yourself and then forgetting you did so but every once in a while going 'shit... there's clones out there.. #of me and I don't even have track or awareness of them anymore.. what an odd concept..' etc. not EXACTLY like that ghbj..you know what I me #n.. or maybe you dont.. hrmm... ANYWAY #I am just now slightly recovering from my most recent mysterious illness spell and etc. so I would like to post more again and mAYBE even #do a costume if I'm being ambitious.. but after so many times of being randomly stricken by problems I'm now fearful of ever being too #hopeful lol.. always like 'I would like to go to the grocery store tomorrow! .... MAYBE.. if i CAN.. possibly... NOT getting my hopes up'. #etc. etc. etc. every statement has a caveat and a backup plan and so on and so forth and such is life.. anyway. happy birthday evil tumblr

[dandyshucks]

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

#i forgot how difficult it is to print out digital art nicely djdkdl #it did take me three tries... after i ran the printer thru its cleaning cycle twice dbhddkl #so much printer ink. ALAS. i have quite a bit from a couple yrs ago and idk how long it lasts so like... i probably should use it up anyway #but shfjdld hopefully i can figure out the settings a little faster next time LORD. everything just came out way too dark #it still is darker and not as vivid as I'd like but ... i think this is as good as it gets for a home job fjfkdl #I AM PLEASED NONETHELESS! #i can add Guz to my secret wall of fandom dhdjdl i have mk up there and my paper mache dca masks already #its abt time i got my mans up there too fjfkdl #(i say secret wall bc it is hidden away from where anyone in the house can see it fjfkdl i have a curtain blocking it LMAO) #maybe one day if im able to i will have these printed out all niceys but fjfkdl for now this is what i will be pleased with :] #dandy.cmd

[ilikedetectives]

This is so beautiful I've been looking at it for hours 😩

#maybe when I upgrade to DDR5 RAMs 5yrs from now I can get RGB RAMs too 😚 #but new CPU and mobo next because they're 4 yrs old #and probably full-size tower #colin plays

[minglana]

i should watch the tgcf donghua....... but exams season...😔

#maybe next yr when more episodes will have been released #plus ill have forgotten most of the storyline probably so i can relive the story again LMAAOOO #z xarre

[lesbiangiratina]

Id like to thank autism and sunk cost fallacy for getting me through this and also most things in life 55 cards down 30 something to go whenever the packages get here. Im free from the png mines until then

Now imagine this but im biting trading cards

#i will be getting some i-no robo-ky and bridget cards sooo i believe the only characters unaccounted for will be. slayer and zappa? sorry. #ive got em in a google drive… will share when i finish those next 30 #but idk if anybody wants a peek at them i can send you the link. #i just wanna get More in there and also maybe fix these up a bit before going crazy… #i boosted the saturation but i might do some more adjustments #maybe clean up some edges. idk they dont need to be perfect also some of them cant be cuz this is. 20 yr old paper objects #theres some sloppy bits… but i like to think its charming… tell me its charming before i lose it #but yeah. most imperfections arent my fault. probably. #im rambling now. but thats okay too. i rambled a bit on call with my partner in yuri crime. i love rambling. im bad at it but its fun. yay #the kat goes meow #gg

[hopefulqueer]

i have acquired. spider :)

#spiders #she is impossible to take a picture of rn but u better believe i'll be posting her eventually #she (gender neutral we wont kno the sex until at least the next molt) is a perfect little sling #pumpkin patch tarantula #my first invert pet #i made 8 yr old me very happy today #rn she's still in her store tube #i'm setting up her sling habitat #it'll probably be ready in the next week #and i'm sure i'll snag some pics during rehousing #this might start the beginning of an addiction like my fish tanks have become #but. oh well #also i DO need to post my fish tanks soon #maybe when juls and i acquire the apistos #:D #she is ITTY BITTY tho. little tinyguy. #her body is probably the size of my pinky tip. maybe littler #she's hard to get a good look at bc she's nervous and has burrowed further into the substrate #but i adore her. babygirl. baby.

[smilepebble]

pokemon presents be kind. please be kind

#here's the thing. i think if they have been working on a new pmd they probably won't be announcing it until maybe next february #rtdx came out spring 2020 and to me it felt very much like a ''testing the waters'' type game #best case scenario they looked at the sales numbers and decided it'd be worth it to make another game #in that case they'd wait until after the christmas sales. which means development would have really started to get serious in january 2021 #giving us ~2.5 yrs dev time. and at this point i genuinely trust spike chunsoft not to rush games as badly as tpc #i do know they rush games though. i played drv3. but drv3 was not as badly rushed as scvi #so basically i think. if we're gonna get a new pmd it's more likely itll get announced later (and i would prefer that) #every video game ever should get delayed i think #op

[aeide-thea]

like [in re plastic article i posted earlier] i'm currently wearing one of my fave tees that's, god, i don't know, a good five years old now anyway, and it's a triblend which means it's got some polyester in it, and while i've appreciated the way that's enabled it to straddle use cases over the years—e.g. (1) bicycling to class and then (2) looking like a normal person once i got there—at this point it's starting to pill a little, as poly always inevitably does, and getting rattier and less comfy as a result? and like, i guess i'll try using a fabric shaver on it and see if that helps some, but like. not an issue with 100% cotton tees!

#i imagine it *would* happen a bit with wool‚ probably—it's happened a little bit with the merino socks i have— #and given that part of what i've valued abt this tee is its usability as activewear‚ that's admittedly a fairer comparison #but like. the other thing abt natural fibers is: biodegradable #pulling pills off a sweater doesn't leave me with little insidious pellets of plastic waste #anyway idk. all textiles have tradeoffs but i'm really feeling like. at the very least i only want to buy plastic on purpose #like it's one thing to have a fleece or two (although like. should those ultimately be wool also? maybe!) #(i do own one (1) fancy merino hoodie that's basically a fleece substitute and like. lotta good things abt it) #(but it IS imo slightly less comfy next to skin‚ slightly heavier‚ and slightly worse at wicking than‚ say‚ a grid fleece of similar weight) #but it's another thing to have like. normal garments that just. have polyester in them for no reason (or rather bc‚ i assume‚ it's cheaper) #anyway like. idk. you can't scrutinize yr consumption to death but you can try to keep some criteria in mind #cotton i think has its own environmental issues—water consumption iirc??—so like. truly everything is tradeoffs #and ultimately probably the biggest and best thing is like. rewear things you already have as long as you can! #in which case like. i'm doin ok i think. #anyway. did anyone need this post? probably not. what is a perblog for if not luxuriant omphaloskepsis tho. #mundanities #sartorial #textiles

[kerra-and-company]

"Nothing particularly interesting, I suppose." Vezz taps his claws together, furrowing his brow as he peers up at Kerra. "Nothing much to ask. But I've been through all this myself, and I feel the question begs asking: how are you holding up?"

@ratasum (from dad mode Vezz fjkelfds)

(Dad mode Vezz hours <3)

Kerra blinks, then lets out a sigh as she pulls out a nearby chair and sits down. She offers Vezz a tired smile. "I've been worse, somehow--which I'm aware isn't the best descriptor, but you of all people might have some idea what I mean. I'd be doing much better if the world-ending events could stop for longer than a year. Give me time with my partners that I don't have to fight for. Stop targeting my children."

She puts her face in her hand for a moment, then runs that hand through her leaves. "Aurene can take care of herself. And Rhi can certainly hold their own in combat, I just...I don't know how much you know about the situation in Gyala Delve, but Rhi was involved before I was. They shouldn't have to be there, they don't have to be there, but...like parent, like child. It's a threat to people they care about. They won't walk away.

"There are limits on what I can do to keep them safe--to keep them both safe. I've never been okay with that. I never will be."

#gw2 #kerralind #vezz #other ocs #kerra so DESPERATELY wanted to protect both rhi and aurene from feeling shoved into everything too early #like kerra herself was #and she only managed it half as well as she would have liked at best for them both #and rhi was the one involved in a *lot* of the story bits in 'what lies beneath' #'it's fine if i help out with this and don't tell my parents i'm doing something incredibly dangerous. right. that's cool right.' #to be fair they are mentally an adult at this point; but a young one (like maybe equivalent of 18-19 yrs old) #and their parents have historically been involved in So Many Things that really they should have been called for that reason alone #but. anyways. kerra hasn't fully had to deal with hallucinations stuff yet. that's probably going to show up in the Next chapter released #also she could and would talk a lot with vezz about the trauma they share if he'd be willing to listen #kerra has never really had a parental figure aside from (kinda) the pale tree #and she doesn't expect that specific flavor of support #but she'd take it from him if he offered #that got so LONG but anyways as;lkdjf #thanks a bunch for the ask! :D

[solpng]

i ran out of time to put together a costume again

#the month was over before i knew it 💀 #i can probably do smth w what's in my closet but idk... #we'll see. and if not then maybe next yr i'll be more on top of things #i'm trying not to be too disappointed in myself lol like this shit happens almost every year

[whomturgled]

u know what i should actually make some sorta new years resolution or goals or predictions or smthn. rachel my therapist from 2017 if you're out there this ones for you girl<3

#i will inevitably forget all abt them<3 #2017 is the last time i had a consistant therapist i think lol YIKES #she'd be so proud of me probably<33 #i saw someone say theyre gonna make predictions and put it in an envelope w their taxes so next year they can see what they got right #and that sounds fun but i just know i will lose the envelope but maybe thats kinda poetic in itself #bc ONE DAY i'll find it idk how many yrs into the future and thatll be fun #in theory i MIGHT move this year (its complicated<3 i would have to go on a whole essay w diagrams explaining that) but i imagine like #if i dont lose it b4 itd get lost in my stuff while packing and maybe id find it while unpacking and then lose it again LOL?. #just like. knowing me #i also feel like i will end up not having accomplished a lot of the things i set out to do or having them have gone a very different #direction but yknow? thats just life! itll be interesting regardless #i dont actually have the attention span rn to do this silly lil goal setting but maybe later. which tbh is the adhd demons talking #i will forget later and this will all have been moot but teehee

[spurgie-cousin]

.

#mr sc is leaving for a work trip tomorrow and jack still has surgery incisions healing so #im going to basically be stuck in the house alone for 3 days #what do you guys do when you have long stretches of being alone? #i think I'm going to work on self portraits for an photography class and obviously watch a lot of trash tv #maybe cook but that won't be as satisfying with no one to give it to #my MIL told me to come to my hometown so i won't be alone and I learned that in the almost 30 yrs she's been with her husband #she's almost never been alone at their house by herself bc shes too afraid #which made me kinda sad bc being alone for a short time can be really great #anyways I'm just ranting and I'll probably be doing that a lot over the next few days lol #if im posting a ton and driving you crazy now you know why #my shit #rant #not fundie related

[sanchoyo]

general lil life update!! trying to refill my queue the past 2 or 3 days so it actually seems like I'm Online, despite still kinda bein on an Internet Hiatus in general lately. but! I felt very productive today out of nowhere and was able to clean, journal, work out and cook a bit after like 2 weeks of not being able to do much bc Sick (which, I need to go to the dr about, but have been piddling on for a few reasons...) so that random burst of energy felt super nice! also its rainy out so that def is a mood booster. my dog and I sat on the porch and just enjoyed the rain together this morning and that was super sweet 🥺 I just took him and my journal and a blanket and we cuddled and I wrote down a couple recipes and stuff <3 I ended up starting a new journal thats different from my regular one that I treat as a diary and. I realize carrying 3-4 notebooks everywhere is EXCESSIVE probably, but also, it's SO FUN. I'm really grateful to be able to have journaling as my low-effort creative outlet lately while I haven't been able to draw or write much ;w;

hope u guys are doin okay too!

#sanchoyorambles #also I had some kind of strawberry frenzy earlier in which my mom bought a container of strawberries #not a small container! #and I ATE THEM ALL IN ONE SITTING LIKE AN ANIMAL #THEY WERE SO GOOD. SO SWEET #anyway i will end up dragging myself to the dr next week maybe depending on like #how much i have left from vet appointment on tuesday #feels like ive been waiting a MONTH for his appointment then i realize. yeah i kinda have lol #ill be glad when thats over too OTL. him being old makes me nervous anytime we gotta take him #im sure itll be fine but . i worry . anxitea #just also mildly worried ill drag myself to the dr and pay exorbitant lab fees or whatever only to hear back #'oh we dont know whats wrong lol'...since all the symptoms seem so random n unrelated when i list them out #i have my own personal theories but doctors do not like to hear those ive learned #so i will probably keep them to myself #even tho i think im Right #and the dr i have to go to is the one who told me it was just HORMONES when i was severely low on vitamin d and had had mono... #like...ok king... #not gonna put much faith in u...but i would kinda like some tests if possible to figure out if im right #i will feel vindicated then possibly see if like. i can have smth to fix it. if possible... #or at least get meds to manage it since uhh. been goin on for a few yrs now dont think its gonna go AWAY #but would be nice to hear its real and treatable in some way from a professional yknow

[gnc-tits]

realizing i do want top surgery like truly WANT it is like. okay chest dysphoria WAKE UP its time for your shift

#i probably wont be able to get it until at least next yr coz my fiancé doesnt have much pto left and we’ll have to travel :/ #but its in state and maybe i can just go for like. a couple of days n then get my drains out back at home coz i mean there is a top surgeon #here i believe. he just doesnt do buttonhole which is sooooooo annoying but whateverrrrrr

[piplupod]

sigh. tooth vaguely hurts again so i think i am Le Fucked

#govmt is introducing a dental plan but I can't apply until... next year #like. glad that this is going to be a thing. rly good stuff. but im. ack. #i dont want to shorten my two year clock even more fhfkdl but im going to have to if i need to get any more dental work done #i thought maybe i could get a job like. last week. but then the fatigue got worse #and I've been hardly able to do Anything. so idk anymore #but i cant get onto disability bc im not disabled enough to qualify probably #so i just.... have to live off of savings until i run out (have enough to last to the end of next gr if i am very very careful) #(and the dentist costs will put a dent in that and shave off a monthish) #im just so frustrated fjfkdl i was starting to think maybe i had half a chance at at least living longer than next yr #but nooooo my body won't cooperate. i hate this. so much. #i would settle for such a shitty but tolerable life rn but I can't even acquire that !!!!! argh !!! #and i feel like im so stupid for complaining abt this like fjfkdl other ppl have it so much worse than me rn #i have a bed and a roof over my head and savings to live off of so i rly shouldn't be complaining #im honestly lucky all things considered. idk. i just want to live idk #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[seraphicrose]

so ive been re-arranging and cleaning out the flat all last weekend+this week, and while i went through my stuff i found an almost complete storyboard for a starfox adventures thing ostensibly written with my fountain pen on three different paper types from like, a few years ago i'd guess by the state of my handwriting, which is interesting for two reasons:

a) i have no memory whatsoever of this

b) i don't do outlines??? probably my single biggest problem as a writer is that im all vibes and lacklustre follow-through

so with a&b combined im very puzzled at what mental state led me to whatever that is, though i can take a few educated guesses. also now i kind of want to write it.

#taking wagers on what (probably manic episode) past fina was trying to achieve #also im not joking even a little bit im good at worldbuilding but writing hmmm #i put out 200 words of something completely out of context and call it a day #the longest thing i ever wrote was 4.3k and it took me almost half a year and reduced my life span by 10 yrs #(we call this i learned to temper my inherent impatience in every aspect of my life except my biggest hobby) #something for next year maybe