#matriarchy or patriarchy

[secretariatess]

"Feminism failed me because now I have to work a nine to five job and I'd rather be a stay at home wife."

Or maybe we've fostered toxic work cultures that have created a "grass is greener on the other side" situation, or maybe we push our children so fast and hard into a career path without slowing it down to ensure our kids know of all their options instead of diving headfirst into a path they might not care about and thus leading to resentment of their work, or maybe we're getting lazier and lazier generations who feel like they shouldn't have to put in a standard amount of work and being a stay at home wife sounds like a dodge of responsibility, an easier route . . . .

. . . and on top of that, maybe we've romanticized the 1950s and the "traditional household" that we've decided to ignore that the culture was forced in order to get women back into domestic labor after running America while the men were at war so that men could get their jobs back, and have forgotten the commonality of domestic abuse and how ads would brazenly joke about it while victims felt like they had to keep quiet in order to maintain the image of a happy family as well as the alarming rate at which women were taking "mommy's little helpers" to help them with their lifestyles, and we've disconnected the fact that the 50s was followed by the wildness of the 60s and 70s as well as feminist movement wave which maybe indicates that the 50s was not the happy little decade in which men and women were in their "correct gender roles" and trying to replicate that era could possibly be a big mistake . . . .

Maybe the issue we have with feminism gaining women the right to work wasn't that it got us the right to work, but rather that it played into the idea that men and their traits are the standard of being human, and in order for a woman to be successful she has to display those traits instead of taking traits of women and standing on those as women's strengths and arguing for how work can be better when women and men use their feminine and masculine traits together because we're both human, and masculine traits are not better than feminine ones, and vice versa.

Maybe the problem faced by those who actually want to work stay at home lives are not hindered by feminism, but rather a failing economy caused by a government for a multitude of reasons, and not because the government created feminism to get women working to tax them too.

Maybe the problem here isn't people going against gender roles, but rather a multitude of many other factors, and it's a lot simpler to fight and blame the other gender.

I have many criticisms of feminism, particularly modern feminism. But feminism in general won women many victories over the decades, and there are a lot of things we women can do now that our female ancestors would have died to have. History might not be as sexist as we remember it, but sometimes I think we forget how unkind it was to women. Wishing feminism didn't come about or make the advances it did might be a little ignorant of the problems it saw women face and sought to correct.

Maybe it's not our "biology" to follow traditional gender roles, and we must return to that.

Maybe there's something we keep hopping over that recognizes men and women as individual humans first, with different skills, strengths, ambitions, and goals.

#I used to like listening to conservative speakers #but every time they brought up conversation about gender #it seem to revolve around men being the leading providers and women the following homemaker #and they keep pulling examples of women being unhappy with their work #and stay at home moms echoing their sentiment #I don't have an issue with stay at home moms #I have an issue when it's pushed as what women were really made for #and things like men were made to lead #no #women were made with varying strengths and talents (including strength in leadership) just as men were #which lends them to be able to pursue different things and not just homemaking #I don't think we really have anyone who has a balanced take on genders anymore because we have to have one extreme or the other #matriarchy or patriarchy #and the fighting of the two for a hierarchy creates a confused jumble of a mess #incorrectly called egalitarian #As someone who considers herself conservative in more ways than one #I'm done with the conservative take on gender roles #there's no balance #there's no consideration for other factors

[squishy-min-mochi]

It’s important to recognise that Barbie (2023) criticises both the patriarchy AND the matriarchy. Yes, the Ken’s are just accessories to the Barbies. Yes, they don’t have any say in the government they live under. That’s the point, you’re supposed to feel awful, you’re supposed to want the Kens to have their own agency, you’re supposed to want equality. The Barbie movie explicitly states that the way Barbie treats Ken is wrong, so much so that once he finds a safe space for his masculinity and individual identity he’s so excited to share it with the other Kens.

But they go overboard and replace a matriarchy with a patriarchy and now the same issue exists but in reverse. That’s the POINT!! THATS THE POINT!!! Barbie is not anti-men it’s pro equality PLEASE understand this

13th Aug 2023 UPDATE:

Heeeeey howdy!!

Due to the IMMENSE comments and discussion on this post (thanks ya’ll!!) I’ve decided to update my post with my recent opinions and hopefully clearer explanations!!

First, my original post only considers a very small and very vague analysis of the film!!

Since making this I've read all your comments and learned quite a bit about the matriarchy as it appears in human civilisation. Originally, I was pitting the patriarchy and the matriarchy against each other as though the results of their implementation were equal in the film.

They were not!! Below is the definition of matriarchy I’ll be working off of.

Matriarchy Simple Definition;

Matriarchy is a social system in which women hold the primary power positions in roles of authority. In a broader sense it can also extend to moral authority, social privilege and control of property.

There's a lot to talk about in the Barbie film that would fit better in an essay, so I'll try and condense it into this;

To me, Barbie (2023) is a film about the female experience and the shared connection between women that persists through childhood and adulthood, support and harassment, suffering and joy, mother and daughter.

It uses Barbie as its figurehead because of the immense societal and political impact the doll has had on women, both good and bad (as explained in the film).

The male experience as seen in Barbie (2023) is not the sole focus of the film- rather, it's an accessory (as the Kens are) to Barbie's story, and a necessary aspect of exploration to truly highlight the importance of individualism and healthy personal exploration.

I want to make clear that I in no way think the treatment of the Kens was just as bad as the treatment of the Barbies. I also still agree that the matriarchy fostered by the Barbies wasn’t good for the Kens.

Additionally, I’m aware that this take on Barbie (2023) works strictly within the assumed heteronormative boundaries of gender. There is a lot of nuance in the Barbie film and I don’t think everything can be covered or explained in on Tumblr post— but I hope this clarification helps!!

I hope you're all coming to your own conclusions and analysis of the film in a way that makes sense to you. And for those of you engaging in online conversations and discourse about it, I hope you're keeping yourself and others happy and safe!!!

Much love to you all!! < 3

#barbie #barbie movie #barbenheimer #Ken #barbie spoilers #barbie discourse #barbie conversations #barbie criticism #barbie 2023 #barbie movie 2023 #matriarchy #patriarchy #heteronormative society

[bigshot-furbiestm]

#barbie #barbie 2023 #the barbie movie #the barbie meme! #barbie meme #mojo dojo casa house #kenergy #margot robbie #ryan gosling #patriarchy #barbie movie #barbie movie 2023 #barbie the movie #meme #friendship ended #ken #horse #horses #matriarchy

[returning-to-her]

Whenever someone says, “Humans are the most destructive species on Earth,” remind them it's not humans. It's men. Men are destructive. Stop blaming women for men’s failings.

Watch my matriarchal sermons at

#patriarchy #radical feminism #divine female #anti patriarchy #mother nature #radfem #womensrights #womenempowerment #radical feminist #women power #male violence #returning to matriarchy #matriarchy #scapegoat #humanity

[haggishlyhagging]

“The popular concept of the primitive family group, complete with domineering father, cowed and submissive mother, and tumbling human cubs littering the cave-home floor, has been completely discredited; yet it remains the image of ‘caveman’ life as portrayed in the widely disseminated media of comic strip and television serial today.

The fact is that the earliest human family consisted of a woman and her children. ‘The patriarchal family was entirely unknown,’ writes Lewis Henry Morgan. ‘It was not until after recorded civilization commenced that it became established.’ Fatherhood and the idea of permanent mating were very late comers in human history. So late, as a matter of fact, is the idea of paternity that the word for father does not even exist in the original Indo-European language, as the philologist Roland Kent points out.

The Encyclopaedia Britannica (1964 edition) says that where no word existed in the ancient Indo-European language for any concept or object, it may be accepted as a truism that that concept or object was unknown to the Indo-Europeans. And since this original language did not break up into the classical and modern languages that have descended from it, according to Kent, until about 3000 B.C., it seems obvious that fatherhood was unknown even as recently as five thousand years ago.”

-Elizabeth Gould Davis, The First Sex

#Elizabeth Gould Davis #fatherhood #prehistory #indo european #patriarchy #matriarchy

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

BARBIE IS SATIRE

Do you not get it? Barbieland isn't dreamland - it shouldn't be the dream.

It being a matriarchy is just as bad as the real world being a patriarchy. You're supposed to feel sorry for the kens. Your supposed to want it to end in equality, only to realise it won't.

And your supposed to realise that the same thing happens in the real world. That's why America's character stays the receptionist. That's why her idea is taken only when it generates profit, but even then she's stuck clawing for scraps.

#barbie #greta gerwig #margot robbie #ryan gosling #barbie the movie #barbie spoilers #barbie 2023 #barbie movie #barbie movie spoilers #the barbie movie #ken #feminism #misogyny #misandry #patriarchy #matriarchy #womens rights #my post

[terra-feminarum]

Matriarchies were here first. They managed to flourish for millennia without destroying the planet and enslaving half the people.

Matriarchy isn't a mirror image of a patriarchy. It holds completely different values. It's not female supremacy and oppression of males. It's a sustainable way for our species to organize our social structure.

Matriarchal society revolves around care-taking. It doesn't mean all women need to be mothers. Men and women alike look up to motherliness as a virtue, as way of interacting with humans and non-humans alike with compassion.

Patriarchy is about owning and taking. Matriarchies are about giving and receiving.

#a lot of people confuse matriarchies with reversed patriarchy #matriarchies aren't about domination or control or power #I'm sure a lot of us have a hard time even imagining a world that isn't inherently patriarchal #so we need to know what has been and imagine what could be #matriarchy

[sharkslayer06]

Huh. The Barbie Movie really said "The patriarchy not only functions to demean and restrict women from advancing in society monetarily or socially, but also to mentally and physically exhaust men by forcing them to always need to be on top or else they lose all status because a man must base his self worth on his power over others" and came to the conclusion that both Patriarchy AND Matriarchy will only cause suffering to both sides and the only way forward is to accept a society where all who live in it can hold some form of power in order to prevent one of the two extremes from forming once again. And Ben Shapiro pissed his pants over it

#ben shapiro #barbie #the barbie movie #patriarchy #matriarchy #gender roles #gender #society #media analysis #critical thinking

[sissiaimee1988]

#ariana gay #end masculinity #fight the patriarchy #fuck the patriarchy #feminizedmen #men are trash #yes all men #give up your manhood #matriarchy #castrated sissy #castrated #men are the problem #permanent feminization #ariana grande sissy #ariana sissy #ariana grande #gay encouragement #goddess #female led world

[whereareallofyousapphics]

dudes I went and saw Barbie (for the second time, first with my family and then friends)

and I swear I love it so much

the (multiple) choreographed dance numbers?

ESPECIALLY THE WOMDERFUL I'M JUST KEN ONE THAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY LIFE

Sasha calling Barbie a fascist was actually hilarious i don't care what you say

Ken 100% being a horse girl?? unexpected but very much appreciated

also. the outfits?? my god they're amazing

Barbie realizing that beauty is also old women being happy and that life is beautiful was just a great scene too

WEIRD BARBIE BEING THE BEST CHARACTER

also ruth showing her what being human is like?? i cried?? unnecessary to make me cry if you ask me (jokes aside i loved that part)

depression barbie with anxiety and ocd being sold separately literally made my entire theatre laugh i loved it

A L L E N

also Allen is nonbinary and I will not be taking criticism

I need Ken's kenough sweatshirt. now.

the last scene made my entire day (twice)

that is all. everyone go see it. now.

#its so incredibly queer #again i must state #horse girl Ken #is so wonderful #I will now be seeing how many words I ken fit Ken into #on a serious note though #the movie pointing out that neither a patriarchy nor matriarchy are the solution #was so good #barbie #barbie movie #i am kenough

[kinkyintherealworld]

Sissification - a toxic construction of femininity or getting off on outdated social constructs?

Becca here. 😀

First… I LOVE THAT YOU STARTED THIS DISCUSSION!!!! Thank you so much @youngchastity - who wrote to us (and tagged us in a post) for some healthy discussion around the sissification kink. We’ve definitely had a few things to say about it on the podcast, as have our guests. You can read his post, that started this conversation, here

Rather than speak for both of us at @kinkyintherealworld, I’m going to jump in and answer this from my point of view.

@youngchastity I love your thoughts on gender - I totally agree. I actually reblogged a post by @necromimetics the other day that said: 

“can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.”

And I agree - we’re all a wibbly-wobbly swirl of masculine, feminine, and everything in between energies, and everyone has their own unique blend. Trying to squash us into labels is lame as hell. 

I like to think I am never one to kink shame (keeping it safe, sane and consensual), and in world where I (and many other women) want to smash the patriarchy, I may be a bit more sensitive to kinks that look down on femininity - or that’s how I have perceived it to date. As someone who has struggled with gender equality issues in real life (your capitalism comment made me give a disgruntled, but amused, snort), it’s hard to not knee jerk react and feel like I need to defend womanhood/femininity. There is still a power imbalance in the world, and equality is still a goal yet to be achieved, but upon dissection, is in the bedroom, playing with kinks, even a place we need to bring this battle? A question that has been raised to me, even before your message.

It’s funny, because I have actually had your very points discussed with me, last fall with my partner, Misty (who if you have read my personal tumblr is trans-personality who enjoys both sides of the gender spectrum fluidly) - we were on a road trip discussing the two episodes you made note of in your post, episode #16 and #19. And Misty, like you, felt we were missing the mark. S/he felt that in no way does sissification for the purpose of humiliation somehow degrade/make fun of/make lesser femininity. For all the same reasons you stated. S/he and I actually talked about doing a podcast about it, to dive more into the topic, Misty felt that strongly. It should be noted that Misty is NOT into sissification or feminization for the purpose of humiliation, and still she felt that we gave the sissification kink a bum rap. 

Hearing her thoughts and yours, I think it is something that should be revisited and, for me personally, I need to take a closer look at why I find it uncomfortable.

Since you made such lovely points I want to try and address each one!

We’ve established that we both agree the trappings around what we consider to be masculine and feminine are made up (and ridiculous). I think, the kink we are talking about here is ultimately humiliation through outdated (but still most commonly accepted) societal norms. IF you get embarrassed about having those things stripped away, and “forced” into the opposite direction… good for you? I mean seriously, how fun is it to get off in weird and wonderful ways with someone who shares your kink from a slightly different perspective! The reality is, I believe, this isn’t hurting anyone. You want a person to lock up your dick, make fun of your little penis (your actual size is irrelevant), or put you in clothing that bends your mind with eroticism and makes you flustered with sexual need - awesome! Life is too short not to enjoy the kinks we have. The bigger question, if I want to dig into the piece that makes me feel uncomfortable is, “Is there misogyny in the specific kink?” - and the answer to that, for me upon reflection, is no. Misogyny comes from the person performing it. So yeah, some kinky things are done with TONS of misogynistic intent… but that isn’t concentrated in one area. Those assholes are everywhere.

To me, feminization is never something that goes hand-in-hand with sissification. My partner feminized himself (their pronouns are all over the place), in a loving way. To empower the feminine in himself. He has often described it as blooming or becoming a butterfly - his higher form of being. So no humiliation to be found, for either of us on either end. I find it hot as fuck when he is all dolled up. 

I haven't dipped my toes into the humiliation via feminization kink (...yet?), so it’s hard for me to wrap my dirty little mind around it. 

Weirdly I do have a bimbofication kink for myself… sometimes. 😁 If I am in a particular mood for the fantasy. I have never found the right time/partner/energy to explore that. Am I feeling humiliation when I go there? I don’t think so…? More the need to feel desired, trophied (yes I made up that word), and used in a deeply submissive way. I’m not embarrassed about that. ;)   I too would be interested in hearing from women who enjoy humiliating others through feminization/sissification, and how they feel about it. Awesome point! 😀

Celebrating feminization! Now that is my jam! 💗 Give me a soft cute boy, and let me make him weak with wanting to be pretty and obedient for me. To me this is a huge mind shift  - the key word “celebrating”, not shaming. Gosh, I could just sink into this topic like the perfect bubble bath. To me, this is a core element to gentle femdom. It is about making boys better… pretty, soft, sweet things that want to please - the D/s element being a key piece. The submissive to be absolutely loved and worshipped for their submission. No shame, not less than me, and certainly not shifting my own very feminine self. I love the feminine. I love to see it in men, and men embracing that side of themselves. Is this a form benevolent sexism? I don’t know. And more to the point, if I am engaging in it with my partners, writing about it on tumblr, and reblogging things that I enjoy around the topic, am I hurting anyone? Food for thought, but I am going to keep doing my thing. ;) I feel like you can look at BDSM here, and for those who wish to criticize it, could for its dynamics. But that feels like a giant, whole other post.    Another thing you mentioned in this point was the strapon, and it’s use as a symbol of power. I have never seen it that way. To me, it is my soul penis… and I love being able to be inside my partner(s). It is an act of love, and makes me want to bring them to amazing places of pleasure (while I get off too). I really don’t enjoy the pictures of women wearing strapons who look like they want to punish their partner with it. But that’s just me. I know lots of people must enjoy that because there is a shit ton of porn that looks that way.

Playing with gender. I like that - and I do it! I love being able to put on a penis!! I really enjoyed trying my hand at Drag King make up and going out as a boy (I’ll post my picture again). I LOVE seeing boys in make up and fucking gender norms right out the window. You said it in your post - gender is made up and stupid. So yeah, let’s play with it, and maybe even break the molds! Though then you’ll have to find something else to get embarrassed and turned on about. ;) Our kinks are about orgasms and pleasure. Let’s enjoy them. In the end, it is all about intent and the people doing it. Not about the kinks themselves. People who want there to be an imbalance of power between women and men will keep doing mean spirited things to keep that nightmare alive - in the streets and in the sheets.

I feel like I have answered your points (I may have jumped around a bit), and I don’t feel the need to argue any of them. Misty had already shone a light on where I may have not been seeing the bigger picture. 

I am SO HAPPY you wrote us a message, and that you took the time to write out your thoughts (that can be read here). So sorry it took me a while to see it and respond! I am always up for conversation and debating (with kindness) any of the points. 

I definitely feel this topic should be a podcast. Any chance you'd like to be on it @youngchastity? ;) 

Hugs! Becca

#kinky in the real world #podcast #podcasters of tumblr #matriarchy #smash the patriarchy

[eldritch-thrumming]

i saw that review on letterboxd of all the rhetorical questions for barbie and like… the more i think abt it, the more i’m certain that the review’s author fundamentally misunderstood the film. barbie land is not a utopia in the way that adults would think abt a utopia, like the author seems to imply… barbie land is canonically shaped by little girls playing with their dolls. that’s why we see a supreme court. thats why there are nobel prizes and authors and lawyers (also because that’s how the toys are marketed… would there be a mermaid in ur utopia??? there would be in mine!). that’s why barbie and ken don’t necessarily know what a boyfriend and girlfriend are “meant” to do (not to mention that the author’s assumption that sex is fundamental to a romantic relationship is problematic at best). that’s why barbie is indifferent to ken (i personally had the life size barbie and my sister had the barbie dream house—we had the working woman barbie game, i had the genie barbie gameboy game, we had countless barbie dolls; we didn’t own a single ken doll lol). barbie land is a world created by and for little girls as they play with their dolls (she says in a comment on the original post “don’t little girls play with their dolls in a sexual way?” and yeah, sure, some do. but i didn’t and i’m sure there are others who didn’t… just like there are some girls who completely mutilated their own dolls and made them into horrifying creatures)… that’s why stereotypical barbie starts having an existential crisis—because a grown woman begins to play with her doll again and starts reshaping barbie land… we, as the audience, are meant to understand this as an outlier to how barbie land is canonically created. the author also calls ken “crass” and “slovenly”… maybe after he builds the patriarchy in barbie land he becomes “crass” but i wouldn’t call him slovenly at any point in the film (i suppose this is just semantics tho).

also, please stop saying that barbie land is a reversal of the real world. it isn’t, even if that may have been the filmmakers intentions. again, barbie is indifferent to ken. she does not abuse him, she does not treat him like he exists to service her by cooking or cleaning or providing other favors for her… barbie does not oppress ken in the way that men oppress women in the real world (we have no idea if he owns property or where he lives and she doesn’t seem to particularly care—extremely different from the fact that women couldn’t have their own bank accounts or credit cards, get a mortgage on their own or divorce their husbands through no fault divorce until the second half of the 20th century in the us… within a lot of our mothers and grandmothers lifetimes!!!!) and it is a complete disservice to conflate or equate the two. we actually see barbie drawing clear boundaries around her time and space in regards to ken—this is not a reversal of misogyny as women and girls experience it in the real world, by any stretch of the imagination.

is the film perfect or revolutionary or radical? of course not. it was produced by major studios and corporations in hollywood. of course the barbie movie is a fucking commercial for barbie, like… to expect anything different is just extremely dumb on your part if u saw the trailer, saw the marketing, saw the interviews, bought a ticket, and sat ur ass in the theater, like be fuckin serious. but don’t do women and girls a disservice by discrediting the world and thoughts and ideas it could open up for them by seeing themselves be taken seriously on screen in a major summer blockbuster with stupid fucking questions because u want to feel superior to everyone else because YOU and ONLY YOU see through the capitalist marketing of lipstick pop girlboss feminism (especially when juxtaposed with the way the female characters are treated in oppenheimer, which we cannot help but compare to the barbie film with the viral marketing of barbenheimer).

#i had to block a bunch of people so their barbie takes would stop showing up in my for you tab lol #i just wanna read steddie fanfic and reblog cute barbie gifs not see ur lame ass takes abt how barbie is evidence that both patriarchies #AND matriarchies are bad #there is not a society on earth where women treat men the way women have treated women for millennia… even the matriarchies smh #the way men have treated women*** literal smh!!!! #barbie spoilers #tagging this as barbie spoilers but not using the barbie tag bevause i don’t want to get into all that tbh #i’m just frustrated… esp as someone who teaches film #every time a female led film comes out we have to have these same convos over and over #let’s talk abt how oppenheimer glorifies the atomic bomb and doesn’t acknowledge the indigenous populations that the bomb was tested on!!!! #let’s talk abt how oppenheimer doesn’t even acknowledge the japanese experience of the bomb!!!! bevause oppenheimer is the real victim #let’s talk abt how christopher nolan repeatedly uses the trope of mentally ill suffering crazy woman to propel his male protagonists story!! #he’s just so sad :( that he killed thousands of ppl :( #anyways i’m over it lol #ok wait making this non rebloggable bevaude i don’t wanna argue w anyone i literally jus wanna say my piece into a void 🙏

[lamlelywriter]

“I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest” (Rev. 6 ; 1-8 NIV)

“And power was given to them over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword, with hunger, with death, and by the beasts of the earth.”

Conquest / War / Famine / Death

#Teen Wolf #Allison Argent #Teen Wolf Au #Teen Wolf Aesthetic #Four Horsemen #Teen Wolf Moodboard #Four Horsemen au #I Spent Too Much Time On These #But It Was Fun #Allison Is A Chaotic Queen Who I Will Defend #Down With The Patriarchy #Rise With The Matriarchy

[returning-to-her]

Women who hate men and believe it’s a fault to do so, I’m here to tell you….

This is based on reality.

Only a small amount of men are decent humans. Statistics and history prove this. We are brainwashed to believe we need them and they are necessary but the truth is, beyond their seed for pregnancy, we don’t. They need us. They literally exist because of our womb, our raising, and our skills at community. Our most ferocious predator is men. Hating them is practically natural as a primal instinct of survival.

- Laura Rose

Sign up if you're interested in returning to matriarchy and healing from harm.

www.healingfromharm.com

#patriarchy #radical feminism #divine female #anti patriarchy #mother nature #radfem #womensrights #womenempowerment #radical feminist #women power #men suck #misandry #matriarchy #female suffering #misogyny #male supermacy

[haggishlyhagging]

“Logically it would seem that, once the father began to assert his rights in connection with his wife and her children, the mother's brother would be ready and willing to relinquish his rights since this would free him to become the father of his own family. But such was not the case. On the contrary, the resistance of the mother's brother to the encroachments of the father can be seen in the emergence of the "avunculate," a counter-institution to the father-family unit.

The term "avunculate" is derived from the Roman "avunculus," meaning maternal uncle. It is a narrowed-down version of the clan brotherhood in which all the mothers' brothers were guardians of their sisters' sons. Now the individual maternal uncle performs these functions for an individual sister. Lippert describes this phenomenon, which emerges in the transitional period between matrifamily and father-family: "From a combination of male protective power and matrilineal descent there arises the so-called 'avunculate,' which, in a peculiar way fills the hiatus between the organizations of mother-right and father-right" (Evolution of Culture, p. 248).

Many anthropologists have interpreted this peculiar institution as evidence of the everlasting domination of the male sex over the female sex: just as women today are under the domination of their husbands and fathers, so in primitive society they were subjugated by their brothers and mothers' brothers. But the avunculate came into existence out of a struggle between two categories of men. It represents the resistance of the men of the matriarchy, the mothers' brothers, against the encroachments of the incoming men of the patriarchy, the fathers.

This resistance sprang from the matrilineal blood bond that obligated men to protect their sisters and sisters' children from any harm that might be wrought by outsiders or strangers. That bond between sister and brother survived up to the historical period, as Lippert points out:

Strabo reports as a curiosity that among the southern Arabians with their primitive form of the family the brother occupied a position of honor with reference to his sister's children. Earlier authors show us that this conception was likewise once current among both the Persians and the Greeks. The sister esteemed her brother higher than her husband because of the bond of blood and because of his relation of protection over her children. Herodotus has illustrated this in the anecdote of the wife of Intaphernes. Of her kinsmen who were condemned to death, Darius promised to liberate the one of her choice. She chose neither her husband nor her child but her brother, because he alone could not be replaced. The tragic factor in the Antigone of Sophocles is based on this same idea of the intimacy of the fraternal bond, which alone warrants the supreme sacrifice. (ibid., p. 258)

Some anthropologists have drawn Freudian inferences from this close attachment of sister and brother; they assume that the brother harbored secret incestuous desires for his sister. In fact, the bond between them had nothing to do with sexual desire; it was connected with the blood revenge institution which made it mandatory upon the brother to avenge or punish the injury or death of his sister or a member of her family. As Lippert writes, "The husband is not the born avenger of the blood of his wife, for he is not of her blood. The obligation rests on her blood relatives. . . . The woman's uterine brother, on the other hand, is her nearest blood relative and therefore her natural protector" (ibid., p. 256).”

-Evelyn Reed, Woman’s Evolution: From Matriarchal Clan to Patriarchal Family

#Evelyn reed #anthropology #avunculate #patriarchy #matriarchy #human history

[terra-feminarum]

When women weren’t oppressed

Recently I got a private message asking when there was a time in history when women weren't oppressed. So, when was it?*

*I’m not a historian and my knowledge of this subject is far from complete. I welcome additions, corrections and conversation. This is a subject where you will find contradicting interpretations and as far as I’m concerned, attempts to silence anyone who dares to suggest patriarchy isn’t inevitable. Vetting of information isn’t easy without a background in relevant sciences. This is not a comprehensive look into female-friendly cultures as I’m not an expert at all on this subject.

Men want us to believe patriarchy is inevitable

At lot of us take patriarchy for granted. It has always existed. The past was even more horrible to women than the present day, right? The cave-men grabbed women by the hair and dragged them to their caves to rape.

We tend to consider males aspiring towards dominance as inevitable and natural, an inherent part of the behavior of Homo sapiens males.

This view of the past benefits the patriarchy. If we believe women have it better now than ever before, we settle for what we have now. If we believe the patriarchy is the natural social order of Homo sapiens, we might be satisfied with small changes that give us some relative safety and don’t pursue true liberation.

Rape is not inevitable

Rape is one of the main ways men oppress women.

We take rape as inevitable. It’s not.

Among Mosuo people, where women are the heads of the households and inheritance is matrilinear, the concept of rape doesn’t exist. I’m by no means an expert on Mosuo culture, so feel free to correct me. As far as I know, they consider rape an absurd concept – or at least did in the past, as nowadays patriarchal mainstream Chinese culture has started to affect the life of younger generations.

Imagine a life where you can’t imagine rape more than you can imagine someone forcefully stuffing food in your throat, which would be a violent and completely absurd act. I believe countless of women have lived at places and times where rape wasn't a thing.

The past is re-written by men

In the 19th century it was surprisingly commonly believed humans had a matriarchal past, but at some point the idea was ridiculed to oblivion so that it was (is?) basically impossible to study that subject and be taken seriously in the academia.

Later, continuing to present day, signs of matriarchal societies tended to be ignored or explained away. In contrast, rule of men is often assumed in historical findings from very little proof.

This assumption hasn’t been always right. A sizeable amount of prehistoric graves, assumed to be of male rulers or hunters, have now been proved to belong to women. Just lately scientists have realized the whole assumption of only men being hunters in historical hunter-gatherer societies is false. Women hunted too, as much as men.

The problem with researching the past were women weren’t oppressed is that we have centuries worth of interpretations based on the biases of male scientists who saw their own patriarchal worldview reflected everywhere they looked. Their imaginations simply couldn’t (and can’t) stretch to understand anything else.

Minoan culture

Minoan culture is one example of misinterpreted ancient culture.

This Bronze Age civilization based on Crete revolved around women. For a long time, male scientist refused to understand what their discoveries meant. Meanwhile they were completely capable of interpreting similar art and other findings elsewhere as prove of male rulership. But when the findings pointed to female leaders, it was assumed to be symbolic.

An interesting detail from Minoan art is how men are depicted to be very athletic and always wearing very little clothing – a bit like women are today.

It took a long time before men admitted women held high positions in Minoan culture, when it was very obvious from the evidence, had they been able to admit it was possible. Men tend to interpret the evidence to support their idea of a man the provider, man the ruler. And even most women accept it as the truth.

The patriarchal household isn’t inevitable

We often take it for granted that the natural human family structure is a male-led nuclear family. In the recent past and still today in many parts of the world, women move to their husband’s household, therefore ending up lowest in the social hierarchy as they are surrounded with the man’s family. When everyone else is related to the husband, it’s clear they more often than not take his side.

This is hardly the only way to arrange a relationship between a man and a woman. For example, the Mosuo people have a thing called walk-in marriage. Households are organized around a matriarch and her offspring. Both sons and daughters stay with their mother. Men and women of course have relationships, but the men simply stay for the night with their loved ones and then return in the morning to contribute to their mother’s household. Traditionally men haven’t taken care of their own children, but the children of their sisters. This is a practice that’s common in female-centered cultures.

An another alternative is matrilocality, which I understand has been or is practiced within certain Native American people. In a matrilocal system, the husband moves to his wife’s household. I believe this in itself causes a very different dynamic than a woman moving to a man’s family – the whole family now looks after the wife. Would you abuse your wife if you lived in the same longhouse as her whole extended family?

Venus figurines & Kurgan theory

There are signs that at some point in the distant past, Eurasian culture was very woman-centered. Venus figurines, depicting old women, have been found all over Eurasia.

At some point the Venus figurines disappeared.

The archaeologist Marija Gimbutas (1921 -1994), whose work has been ridiculed and largely forgotten, proposed Kurgan theory to explain the prevalence of patriarchy in Eurasia. Kurgan culture originated at the Black Sea and they are assumed to be the first speakers of proto-Indo-European language.

It is assumed Kurgan culture was more violent and patriarchal and violently spread over other cultures that were female-friendly.

Terra Feminarum

A text written in year 1075 describes a Northern European area called Terra Feminarum, Women's Land. Terra Feminarum was described to be located east from the Swedes and west from Russia. It was told the residents were Amazons of the Baltic Sea. "When Emund, the king of the Swedes had sent his son Anud to enlarge his powers, he arrived by sea to Woman Land. The Women immediately mixed poison to spring water and this way killed the king and his army."

It seems likely Terra Feminarum was located in Finland and/or Estonia, where Indo-European languages were never adopted (re: Kurgan theory). Maybe this area was one of the last female-friendly cultures in Europe. This is pure speculation at this point. Our traditional cultures have been disrupted by Christianity and patriarchy.

It might have been Kaarina Kailo – a Finnish scholar in Women’s studies - who I think said something along the lines of her taking some liberties when interpreting our past. That sometimes her interpretations might be speculative to a degree. You know why? That’s what men have been doing the whole time. They take the proof of men’s societal power as granted, even when the evidence is scarce. If the scarce lines written of Terra Feminarum described rule of men, no one would doubt it was true. But now Terra Feminarum is a myth, not history.

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This was only the tiniest scratch to the subject and I hope others have more to add. I don't have time to write a more comprehensive piece.

It's often said patriarchy originated with agriculture and the concept of ownership. Whether that's true or not, patriarchy hasn't been here forever.

#matriarchy #patriarchy #feminism #terra feminarum