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lieutenantabrudas · 9 months

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I Know You

wrote a thing for the shrimp skwad monday game prompt that ended up WAY longer than one message, lol. the prompt was:

Your blorbos meet their younger selves due to Comsic Bullshit™️ - how does that go? Is it bittersweet? Do they take a moment to feel proud of how far they've come?

hilariously everyone took bets on which of 3 possibilities i was most likely to do. unfortunately for them now i'm gonna do all three, for fun :) the correct guess that i was already working on tho was exdiff desolas, now 90 years old as of mid-itlog, talking to his younger self maybe a few weeks prior to wake me when it's over. couple references are made to that fic, but it's not required reading, you can guess pretty easily what's being talked about.

Fandom: Mass Effect Character(s): Desolas Arterius Warning(s): Alcohol (mentioned), suicidal ideation, severe depression, loss & grief, very brief but graphic memory of gore Word Count: 1,189

It was true, he guessed. From a distance, he really hadn't aged a day.

Up close, he knew, there was a difference. His plates were cracked, his eyes had never recovered quite that brilliant electric blue, his nasal plates would never sit straight again. General Arterius was beautiful in his heyday, but it had been a very long time since Desolas was young.

It had to be a dream, that was the only explanation. He didn't think he was dying, not unless something had crept up in his sleep, and he didn't recall drinking anything in a few months.

He certainly hadn't gone to bed in his grandmother's old apartment building, either.

The rooftop he'd opened the bedroom door to was like an old friend. An old, toxic friend who just kept dragging him down no matter how bad things got, but an old friend nonetheless. The six-pack of flavored horosks was another one, sitting right next to his younger self like he could step right into his old body and have a drink.

He'd only ever come up here for one reason. He sat down next to himself instead.

The eyes sunken into the haggard face that turned to glance at him were too tired to register much surprise. Young Desolas - Dei-Dei, that's what his parsaepat had called him, and Titaup too - looked him up and down, taking him in, then returned to the dizzying drop ahead. His legs kicked faintly against the brick. "Dream."

It wasn't a question. Desolas nodded, hiked one knee up to rest his heel on the ledge, watched the traffic below right with him. "Dream," he confirmed.

Dei-Dei rocked slightly. How far off was he, at this point, Desolas wondered - was this the start of his descent, or the night before Parmat barely stopped him in time? Maybe it didn't matter. The days had all blurred together, back then. "How old are you?" he asked, voice small and broken, still in pieces after his screaming. Recent, then.

Desolas tipped his head. "Does it matter?" He remembered the little pink thing bumbling past, maybe - a little old drake with three boxangk loose in the backseat, or had that been the single mom?

Dei-Dei scowled. Had he really been so angry? "How long do I have?"

Ah. Desolas flicked one mandible. "Ninety, next harvest."

Dei-Dei rumbled and rested his chin on his knee. "This is gonna be some trite it gets better shit, huh. 'Don't jump, it'll all work out in the end, it's gonna be okay,' just fuck off and leave me alone."

His heart jerked in his chest. It was odd, hearing his own voice out loud instead of through vibrations. Desivius might have been Valis's shadow, but he'd gotten his old man's voice. He took a deep breath. "Yeah, yeah. It getting better later don't mean it doesn't hurt now. I know." Old, far-off, unhappy things scratched at the door he'd closed them behind, and he let his eyes flutter shut. "Nobody knows what to say to make it stop hurting, 'cause nothing can."

He got a low, snuffling inhale in response. Guess he and Saren had had that in common, even if he'd hated to admit it back then.

They sat in silence for a little while, just watching the traffic buzz past, until Dei-Dei mumbled, "So, does it?"

Desolas paused, then opened his eyes and turned to regard him. For a heartbeat, just the barest blink, Dei-Dei's face was stained red again, and he could feel the batarian's throat between his teeth, his intestines beneath his claws. Then his gizzard twitched, and it was gone, leaving just the broken husk of a child the man he'd become had been forced out of before his time. He sighed. "It does, kid, but it's gonna get a whole lot worse before it does."

Dei-Dei blinked, then looked up at him, eyes popping open. "You're not supposed to say that," he scolded, baring his teeth.

Desolas snorted quietly. "Nah, but it's in-character, ain't it? You're fucking depressed and need help you're refusing to get, your vision of your older self ain't gonna be all sunshine and rainbows." He waved a hand. "Just listen, stupid."

Dei-Dei drew back, offense ringing through his subvocals, but after a moment, he grudgingly settled, curiosity winning out. Desolas shook his head and continued. "Shit's gonna suck, okay? And I mean really suck. This ain't gonna be the last time you think about ending it, I promise you that. The galaxy's gonna chew you up, spit you out, and come back for another round, again and again and again. You think you feel like shit now? Kiddo, this is just the beginning. This is gonna be the closest to normal you feel for a long, long time."

Dei-Dei's nasal plates flared and his brow plates dropped, but Desolas raised a hand. "But," he warned, "but it's not the end, and don't you fucking dare give up on it, got it? Mal, Lup, Heavy - you haven't been answering their messages, but they keep texting, yeah? They care about you. They're your fucking friends. Life's gonna take you guys down different paths, but they're your ride-or-die, friends to the bitter end. And they won't be the only ones. Hate to break it to you, but that snot-nosed little brat downstairs is gonna make one big fucking splash, and before you know it, you're gonna be watching his star shoot across the sky. You're both going down in history, and you have to stay alive to see it happen, yeah?"

The words were catching in his throat, so he paused to breathe for a second. "There's gonna be some officers, some who believe in you like nobody else will, who're gonna see who you can be, not just who you are now, and want to be there to see you become him. And... and there's one more." Golden plates flashed in his mind's eye, and he took a deep breath. "You'll know her when you meet her, believe me. Bitch hits like a fucking freight train. But she's gonna come along, and you're not gonna get along at first, but you're gonna sleep right again with her, and she's gonna be there to catch you when you fall. She's your ticket back out of this hole, do you understand me? She's gonna offer you her hand, and your stupid, self-centered ass better fucking take it, 'cause nobody's gonna believe in Desolas fucking Arterius quite like she does, and you're gonna need every ounce of strength she's got in those big fucking biceps to pull you out of here."

Dei-Dei recoiled from his intensity, but his eyes shone with something Desolas knew damn well would never appear there again for a very long time. He was quiet for a little while, then managed a hoarse, "When?"

Desolas blinked. "When do things start getting better? Eh..." Shit, he'd never been good at math. "You're gonna have to get outta the hastatim, kid. But when's the rope getting thrown down?" He considered, then lifted one mandible. "Your next stationing's on Taetrus. Go for gold, kiddo."

#mefanfic #masseffectfanfiction #desolas arterius #writing

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shipsnthenight · 2 years

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Death and the Healing - Chapter 21

by IllusiveWritings on AO3 @thewriterinthebatcave on tumblr

Illustration by @shipsnthenight

#mass effect #femshep #shiara #liara t'soni #commander shepard #jane shepard #mass effect trilogy #mass effect fanart #mass effect fanfiction #masseffectfanart #masseffectfanfiction

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mighty-peacock · 2 years

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New chapter of Love Hurts has posted! Enjoy! https://archiveofourown.org/works/37468930/chapters/94671094 Artist: Silvermitt . . . #masseffectfanfic #masseffectfanfiction #masseffectromance #nihlus #nihluskryik #nihlusfanfic #nihlusmasseffect #lovehurts #elvenprophecy #ao3 #deviantart https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbbz1HlO_2b/?utm_medium=tumblr

#masseffectfanfic #masseffectfanfiction #masseffectromance #nihlus #nihluskryik #nihlusfanfic #nihlusmasseffect #lovehurts #elvenprophecy #ao3 #deviantart

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podgle · 3 years

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Up to fifty drabbles! In which Shepard gets rid of a gravestone, wins a bet, and goes to therapy.

#mass effect #masseffectfanfiction #fanfiction #femshep x ashley #femshep x sam

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shadowrun-effect · 3 years

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Here’s the story to the picture... ^^

Will probably soon appear in my fanfic.

Mistletoe

The Phoenix looked a bit strange these days. Here and there plants were hanging on the walls, in the conference room, there was a strange tree with glittering things hanging from it and the human women were competing in the kitchen to see who could best make strange little brown sweet things that they fetched on the heater module. Those who did not know what was going on found the behavior of the humans the more strange. Admittedly, on the Phoenix it was normal when things weren't going normally, when, for example, Teekoy Var, the volus, fled from Thantos or Trox or from Tiran, optionally from three alone at the same time, or when Keni and Varius argued loudly with each other and fought a duel in the hangar with water spray guns. On board the Phoenix many things were normal that were probably unthinkable on other ships. Military discipline? Nothing. At the most, when the crew had to hurl themselves into battle. But such peculiar decoration had never been seen before.

Caliria Andrascus and Dr. Ven'Tisa knew what this decoration was about, and Tiran Suvay was also familiar with this so-called Christmas season, probably because of this he knitted stockings and other clothing from thick wool in the past weeks. He had given a blue sweater with yellow stars as a present to Thantos, who was always freezing anyway and had a cold after the mission on Voeld. He had even knitted a cap for the drell. Drell preferred warm to hot areas, Voeld was number one of the most hated planets in the galaxy for Thantos. Samuel had almost caught a slap in the face when he burst into laughter after seeing his shaday with a woolly cap and woollen sweater with a cute star pattern.

"At least you laughed again." Had Thantos said dryly.

It happened that Varius and Samuel were both on their way to the kitchen, when Varius discovered a green branch with beige-colored small balls, nicely decorated with a red bow above him in the door frame to the corridor, where also the kitchen was. Samuel only took note of it because he could not assign Varius' surprised "hmm". In contrast to his turian crew member he knew immediately what it was and what it meant and made big eyes.

"What is this thing?" Varius asked just as Caliria was passing by and Samuel was making preparations to sneak away.

Caliria obviously knew more about human traditions and customs, because she explained to Varius in passing - and she did so in a very clear way, because she saw the Commander sneaking away - what it was all about:

"This is mistletoe. A goddess named Frigg declared mistletoe a symbol of love and vowed to plant a kiss on all those who passed beneath it.

Varius became very keen-eared.

"At least that is what they say. There are different versions.” She explained further. “So on Christmas people who gather under the mistletoe have to kiss each other.”

Varius stared at her. Cast a glance at Samuel who in the meantime had taken a few steps away from the turians, hoping they had not noticed him - unsuccessfully. Varius grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and pulled him back, hold him tight in his arms, grinned ominously once and kissed the poor Commander heartily who was completely taken by surprise and could do nothing but fidget. Caliria disappeared with a broad turian grin in the lower part of the ship, while at the same time Dr. Ven'Tisa appeared and got big eyes when she saw the two of them in a passionate kiss under the mistletoe, which she didn't even notice. Immediately she called up her project work and began typing busily while watching in a nearly mesmerized way.

"Very fascinating!" She said and looked delighted.

Samuel finally broke away from Varius and looked from him to the asari, who paused in her action and began to smile broadly. He looked at Varius, who grinned at him in love and laughed softly as Samuel's cheeks turned purple.

"Don't you tell anyone about this!" He warned the medical officer.

"I am keeping this under doctor-patient confidentiality.” She said serenely. “But I think half the crew's starting to know about it anyway.”

"Know about what? Wait, no, I don't wanna know!” Samuel snorted and scrammed.

Varius looked after him contentedly and then raised his head before he stretched out an arm and plucked the mistletoe from the hook. Dr. Ven'Tisa watched him questioningly.

"I like this human tradition." He chuckled. "I'm going to hang this mistletoe up in my Tech Lab. just in case our Commander shows up."

"What if there's Trox in the doorway? Or Teekoy?" Dr. Ven'Tisa asked and tilted her head.

"They don't know the tradition, and I'll be damned if I'll explain it to them." Varius replied.

"Mr. Survay, to my knowledge, knows them."

Varius looked at her.

"Have fun kissing the hanar!" She smiled and disappeared in the depth of the ship.

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ghostxofxartemis · 3 years

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Midnight Rannoch

Summary: Shepard just took down a Reaper on Rannoch all the while Kaidan was in the vehicle. Watching feeling useless and terrified he might lose the man he loves.

Shepard and his team returns to the Normandy, and get's a surprise visit in his captain's cabin.

Pairing: M!Shenko

Rating: M. Contains sexual content.

With all these beautiful M!Shenko art going around, I wanted to (re)-post this. I’m not sure I posted this before haha. I really need to write Kaidan’s POV someday.

This was my first post on AO3. It’s also my first fanfic I wrote after dusting off my laptop after almost 8 years of being tucked away with no use. So my writing is a bit rusty. I had a blast writing this, though! Hope you enjoy reading it!

AO3 also under the line.

I watch Allers as she turns towards my door to head down the elevator, she sways her hips as she walks away from me, on purpose- I know this, even after I told her to keep it professional, I know what she wants, but I’m not interested. For more than one reason, first one being she’s a reporter. I don’t have a good track record with them. Secondly, I’m with Kaidan.

To be honest, I didn’t really think Kaidan and I would have ever become a thing. After Ashley’s death, we both took it hard and confided into each other. Kaidan knew Ashley and I were interested in each other during our time on the SR1, for we flirted a lot on the ship and on the battlefield, but we still kept it professional, she was a subordinate after all. We had talked about seeing how things would go after we stopped Saren. But as it turns out nothing was going to happen. I had to make a choice back on Virmire, and I chose my Staff Lieutenant.

Kaidan and I had been heart broken over Ashley’s death, we all had become very close friends. As we confided together over Ashley’s and remembering Jenkin’s death, although our time with him was short, I started growing feelings for Kaidan too. At first I wasn’t sure what it was, but after Horizon, after seeing Kaidan and seeing his expression, and how he expressed his feelings on how he felt betrayed, I felt like he had stabbed me in the heart. No other opinion mattered as much as his did. That’s when I knew I loved him. But I never shared that with the crew - though I think Joker suspected.

When Kaidan revealed his feelings for me at Apollo, I was very happy to know Kaidan had felt the same, I was beginning to think the electricity between us was just my imagination. I was glad that I had been wrong - for once.

I think the crew has noticed my demeanor has changed slightly since Kaidan and I reconciled, and well, decided to become an item, though they would never say so to me personally. I have to admit, having someone in all this, someone to talk to at night has helped take some of the weight off my shoulders, but not all, for everyone is still looking up to me to win this damn war.

With Allers interview done, and her finally out of my cabin, my rounds done, I step in the shower in the head in my cabin. A nice hot shower to wash off Rannoch’s dust was really what I need right now. What a fight. Facing down the Reaper head on on foot like that and with no Thresher Maw to take it down this time. I didn’t think I was going to make it, but I wasn’t going to allow the geth to remain under its control anymore.

I know Kaidan is furious with me. He might have hidden his feelings behind the words “yeah… let’s talk later,” when I went to go see him and James in the Lounge while they had their poker game, but I know what he is feeling. I hate doing this to him. Still, that feeling doesn’t change the fact that his tone really turned me on, his husky voice when it became all authoritative always seemed to provoke this reaction in me. Kaidan in the bedroom was a completely different man from outside the bedroom. After lathering myself with soap, I pour shampoo in my hand, and start passing my hands on scalp and watch the water take on a brownish colour. I like to think it’s washing the days stress away, even if it’s only a little.

I turn the water off, grab a towel and dry myself off, I figured I'd better start writing my report to send off to Admiral Hackett. Even though I did brief him in the QEC earlier, he still likes to receive a written report. I throw the towel on the floor in the bathroom - I’ll deal with it tomorrow, I just can’t be bothered with it right now, and slip on my pants. I don’t bother with zipper and the belt buckle. I just let my uniform pants be held up by hips, honestly I don’t even know why I bothered putting them on -I’m not planning on leaving my cabin for the rest of the evening- but I do.

I grab a datapad and stand in front of the fish tank. The water from the filter soothes my nerves as I start writing my report in front of my fish. I see them swimming around, and the ills slithering in the tank in my peripheral vision and think how nice it must be to be unaware that your impending doom is near when my datapad gets taken out of my hand abruptly, I feel a hand between my shoulder blades pushing me, and suddenly I’m pressed up against the glass of my fish tank and my pants are bunched up around my ankles. Cool recycled air kisses my skin and causes me to shiver. Kaidan kicks my leg a bit so my legs spread out as far as my pants allow them to go.

I knew I shouldn’t have bothered putting them on. I knew this was coming, I heard it in his tone earlier and he knows that I like it when he takes charge in the bedroom - it’s the only time I don’t have to be in charge and sometimes I need a damn break. Someone to take charge, even if it’s only for a bit. But where the hell did Kaidan come from?! I didn’t even hear him come into the cabin!

A hard spank on the ass, and I can’t help but slip a moan. The pain from the contact is sudden and hard, but it's enough to help me forget today’s earlier event but only for a moment, for Kaidan doesn’t allow me to forget. “What the hell were you thinking Shepard?!” Another hard spank, another quick jolt of pain that gets me excited. “Kaidan…” I whimper his name, and that riles him up even more. “No! Not a word! Not a sound - nothing!” Kaidan growls as he grips the back of my neck with his hand and squeezes tight and brings his lips close to my ear, he lowers is voice and whispers in his husky voice “And don’t fucking move”. A shiver goes down my spine as I feel his breath on my skin and it begins to prickle, and he’s already driving me crazy and he hasn’t even started yet. I bite my lower lip to suppress a moan in anticipation of what is to come.

I hear him go down the steps, I know he is going to his side of the bed, to get the bottle of lube he most definitely picked up the same day we went to Apollo’s, I bet even before we met up to eat. He’ll never admit it though. I hear the click of the lid opening and a squirt. He is definitely getting his fingers ready. He walks up the steps and stands behind me. “Are you crazy?! Facing a Reaper head on! On foot... no less?!” he growls this in my ear as he starts circling my entrance with a slick cool finger, and I squeeze my neither cheeks together, an involuntary reaction to his finger.

Fuck! Him getting mad at me really gets me excited, and I feel my cock twitching as the blood flow starts making its way down to my groin making it hard. I bite down on my lip even harder, but it doesn’t stop the moan from slipping through and that rewards me with another hard spank on the ass. “You could’ve died Shepard! And I don’t know what I would have done!” his slick index finger slides in and my hips push backward into it. That earns me another spank and another slick finger slides in my entrance.

I feel myself starting to stretch a little, and he starts scissoring and thrusting his fingers to help stretch my opening even more, preparing me for the eventuality that is surely to come. My legs are shaking because the sensation feels good, but it drives me crazy because it’s not all of him, and I want all of him. Kaidan pinches one of my nipples between his forefinger and thumb and pulls on it, another shiver goes down my spine as the sensation causes more pleasure. His lips explore the crease of my shoulder and neck and he makes his way up to my ear to nipple on the lobe. My right hand curls up into a fist against the fish tank, as the pleasure increases. “Tell me what you want Shepard” Kaidan breathes in my ear. “Fuck! Kaidan!” it comes out as a cry.

“Fuck what Commander?” his breath on my skin just feels so goddamn good. “I want you... to fuck me” I manage to say between breaths, it’s getting harder to formulate words. “Take your pants off and make your way onto the bed” he orders.

I slip my feet out of my pants and just leave them where they are, and go down the stairs, “Ass in the air Shepard” Kaidan commands before I even arrive at the bed. I place my head on the bed, and leave my feet planted on the ground, my ass up in the air as he orders. Kaidan walks up to the dresser again and I turn my head slightly in his direction to see him pouring lube on his rock hard cock, and I can’t help curl my lips upwards at the thought of what is coming. Once Kaidan is all ready he makes his way behind me and presses his cock up against my entrance but he doesn’t enter, he simply teases and I can’t take anymore, I just want him to fill me up.

“Kaidan….please” I plead, and that was enough for him. He enters and starts thrusting, gentle at first so that I can adjust to him, but once he is completely inside his thrust become quick and hard. A hand spanks my ass, and the pain mixed with the pleasure makes me moan again, and my breathing increases, Kaidan’s breathing starts matching with mine. His other hand makes it’s way up, feeling the skin on my back before settling up to squeeze the back of my neck again and I lift my head backward into his hand. His other hand gives another spank before he grabs my cock, and starts playing with the head, a bit of pre-cum already slicking the tip. His stroke is gentle, but it's enough, and I start gyrating my hips up against him and into his hands as his thrusts and strokes become more desperate. I can’t help but make some noises to express my pleasure, he sounds something like a yeah, and my hands ball into fist grabbing a handful of the bed sheets.

That seems to get Kaidan over the edge as his breath gets caught in his throat and he gives out one last growl as he thrust deep inside me, hitting my prostate, and erupts inside me. The warmth of his eruption in me is enough to also get me over the edge, one more stroke, and my breath also gets caught in my throat and I grunt as I release all over his hand and on the sheets. Body is shaking, heavy, from my climax, I let my body go slack onto the bed.

A panting Kaidan, gives me one last hard spank on the ass as he pulls away, his cock now softening, and sets himself onto his back on the bed and turns his head in my direction, eyes meet, his whiskey brown eyes not hiding the sadness behind them. Kaidan reaches out to place a hand on my cheek and his thumb starts making small comforting circles, “Axel, I lost you once, and I can’t stand the idea of losing you again. Can you... you know, maybe not face a Reaper by foot next time?” he sighs.

I chuckle, prop myself onto my shoulder so I can lean into him and plant a hard desperate kiss on his lips and he returns it with his own desperation. I pull back, take in some air and look him in the eyes, those whiskey brown just pulling at my heartstrings. I love him, but unfortunately the war must come first, we’re soldiers after all. “I’m sorry Kaidan. I don’t mean to frighten you with stunts like that. I will try my best not to face a Reaper on foot, but I can’t promise you now that I have gotten a taste for it”.

He chuckles and rolls his eyes, my humor seemed to have lightened his mood a bit. “Yeah, I guess that’s the best I could hope for from you at this point” he says as he starts getting up and making his way up the stairs to the bathroom. “Is this towel dirty, Axel?” he asks as he picks up the towel that I threw on the floor.

“I just used it to dry myself after the shower”. I guess that was good enough for him as he uses it to clean me up, and then cleans himself up afterwards. I barely manage to crawl myself a little further up the bed, my body exhausted from the battle on Rannoch and with... the extracurricular we just had. But I manage to feel Kaidan wrap his arm around my waist and plant a kiss on the side of my forward before I finally manage to drift off to sleep.

#masseffect #masseffectfanfiction #mass effect fanfiction #mshenko

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masseffectfanfics · 7 years

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Liara Fic Week

Hi guys! I noticed recently that I don’t have many Liara-centric fics on my page so I decided that From today until next Friday (Feb. 17th) I will be looking for Liara fics!

Please send forward any of your favourites! I find it easiest if you shoot me the link through submissions or messages. Otherwise, send me an ask with the title and/or author, as well as which website I can find it on.

ALL pairings allowed, and all will be accepted. This also includes non-pairing/friendship fics that are out there. Anything Liara-centric would be wonderful!

So send in your fics, or just ones you like that you feel deserve attention! I will post them as i recieve them, as well as a master post of all the fics on Friday, Feb 17th.

Thank you all! Happy reading!

#Liara T'Soni #Mass Effect #mass effect fanfiction #masseffectfanfiction

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kk-katekim · 7 years

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Mass Effect 3 Citadel after Cerberus’ attack

The battle was finally over. All the teammates scattered on the Citadel, mending their physical and emotional wounds, tending to their own businesses, or simply blowing off steam.

But not Shepard.

He had this feeling every time a battle finished. However quiet and calming the surrounding was, he had a tremendously hard time getting centered. Even in the privacy of his own quarter on the Normandy, in the company of his ever-growing collection of fish, with the soothing music playing softly and compassionately, he still couldn’t shake his tension off. Every note played was like the shield-shattering grenade dropped next to him, drumming through his ears; every tiny tremor of the ship made his heart beating wildly, as if he was about to be attacked by a repulsive yet terrifying Banshee.

But he couldn’t possibly share this feeling with anyone around him. The stake was too high. He had to put on a show in front of all his teammates. All those men and women didn’t come all the way across the galaxy just to see their commander falling apart after every battle. They gathered here to devote their loyalty, their faith, even their life to the Great Commander Shepard, the savior of the galaxy. No one would want to see the great man tremble. That would be bad for morale.

He found himself wandering around the Citadel aimlessly, yet again. He did it before, not that it was much help to relieve him from all the traumatic scenes flashing in his mind. He just had to reactivate his limbs, or mind, or else.

But this was by no means an ideal moment for strolling around the Citadel. The vicious attack had left the once peaceful capital with scars of war. He couldn’t take two consecutive steps without stepping on some pieces of broken glasses or shattered deco materials. The hall way was covered with a thick layer of dust, so thick that he could easily retract his own steps.

Suddenly he couldn’t breathe anymore. All the dirt stirred up by his steps seemed to be sucked into his lungs, yet he couldn’t cough. He had to get some air, fresh or not.

He rushed down the stairs into the market, and there she was, Liara, leaning against the reeling as always. There was brief a moment when he wanted to call on her, talk to her about his uneasy feeling post-battle, about his fear of failing the whole galaxy, about how he wanted to gently touch her spotted blue face and kiss her as if there was no tomorrow. He wanted to…

The moment came and passed, and his feet were still where they were. He couldn’t risk it. For every battle he had been, Liara was by his side, fighting fearlessly and trusting him whole-heartedly, believing that the great Commander Shepard would be there every time she fell and make everything alright. Breaking her faith would be nothing short of cruelty.

Suddenly he found himself in the outer hall of the hospital. He never felt ease in hospitals. For all he cared this might as well be the tomb for all the fallen comrades to whom he never had the chance to say goodbye. The scene unfolding before him hardly helped. Numerous stretchers were casually laid out in the hallway; wounded soldiers and civilians of Turians, Asarians and Salarians were moaning, as if making sounds would make their situation less miserable. He was short of breath, and his eyesight started to get blurry. He knew he had to get out of there.

Then he heard a murmur, so dreamy and light. For a brief moment, he thought he had dreamt it.

“Choices must have been difficult to make for you too, the great commander Shepard.”

Shepard felt like an electric current flowing through this body. There was a hint of familiarity, topped with hopefulness in that one murmur, which rendered him defenseless in his own curiosity. He just had to respond. He HAD to know who was the culprit.

He turned around, and there was a human woman in a long white dress leaning on a bench, panting lightly. There were specks of bloodstain on her dress, most of them fresh. Some of the blood got on her face and neck, and both her arms seemed to be bleeding. He didn’t know if he was just seeing things in his dizzy moments, but the bloodstain on the woman’s dress started to shift, and shaped like a dark red rose.

“Maybe she’s someone I helped way back. She has to be, or how would I know her voice?” He thought. Maybe she had more grievances, and putting others out of grievances had always been his strong suit. Just because he was a bit shaken didn’t mean he could stand idly by while the whole world collapsed around him. He had a reputation to maintain.

Thinking that, his heart sank a little. But he quickly adjusted his mood, and walked towards the human woman.

The woman looked a little startled when Shepard approached. She tried to pull herself up the bench as if she was trying to elude the scene, but her effort had failed, and she almost crashed back on the bench. The dark red rose on her white dress smeared, turning into a big dahlia. He knew she was bleeding out.

“Steady there, ma’am. You need medical attention,” Shepard gently held her shoulder as he sat next to the woman, “you are bleeding.” With her shoulder in his hand, he could feel the warmth of her body. For all this time, he had to maintain a civilized distance with the people around him, teammates, politicians and acquaintances alike. He hadn’t got so close to another creature for quite some time now. The woman slightly leaned on him, and he automatically pulled her closer in his left arm. Almost instantaneously he realized his action would be considered as inappropriate advances, but there was a strange yet constant pull from this woman, drawing him closer and closer.

“I’m alright. They are just scratches. I may need a few medigel patched here and there but nothing is life-threatening. I have talked to the doctor already, but they are all busy with the soldiers who have got the real injuries. I am in no position to compete for treatment against all those wounded C-sec officers anyway. Sorry to bother you. I didn’t mean to keep you from your busy itinerary. I…I recognized you from the reports by that reporter on your ship. I must have been woozy or something. I didn’t mean to bother you; I don’t know what went wrong with me. I thought I must have dreamt about saying that. I…I didn’t know I really said that out loud. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you…”

The woman became a little agitated and started to tremble in Shepard’s arm. Shepard sensed her fear—it wasn’t too hard a thing to deduce given the circumstances, but on her, that tintsy hint of helplessness, the very same feeling that filled his own mind, struck him like a meteor. Everyone feels pain, he thought, but what about helplessness? Desperation? Or the worst: lost of all hope?

Maybe it was an automatic reflect, or maybe the long-awaited feeling of being touched, warmth of the woman’s body woke something inside him. Shepard squeezed her shoulder a little harder. Through his N7 jacket, he could feel her arm gently touching the side of his body.

“Don’t worry about it ma’am. Your health is my primary concern now. Let’s get you some medical attention first.” As soon as those words left his mouth, he realized he sounded like those bureaucratic A-holes dwelling in the comfort of their offices all day and leaving the world going to hell. Indeed he had spent way too much time with those politicians, but it shocked him a bit when he realized he nearly became one of them. More to his dismay, he didn’t even notice this until this moment. Great, he thought, this is the image I just built up. Good one Shep.

He tried to get her up from the bench. It was then when he really took a careful look at the woman’s face. She was no more than 25 years old. Her skin tone was lighter than his, or she was simply pale as a sheet. Even with the specks of bloodstains, he could tell that she had an exquisite face. Uncontrollably, his eyes flashed across her chest and her dainty waist--no man would forsake the opportunity to check out a pretty lady, but he stopped himself from gorping. Keep it centered, he thought, you are here to help.

Then he met her eyes when she attempted to stand with the grip of his strong arm: a pair of eyes, amber, big, twinkling under the long eyelashes. She was not crying, but her eyes were shining under the bright light of hospital. The sense of helplessness was like a mist, hovering over her like a ring of cloud, and Shepard was irresistibly drawn to her mist. As she stood up, she came a little closer to him, the right side of her body pressing against him. He could feel her hip pressing on his thigh. A tingling sensation travelled all through his body.

“What’s your name, ma’a…miss…” he stuttered as they walked slowly to the triage desk. With that strange familiarity, he felt like he had known her his entire life, yet he soon realized the two of them were perfect strangers until a couple of minutes ago. “Perhaps I should introduce myself first. Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy.”

“My name is Helene Griffin,” the woman said, as she panted heavily. Shepard thought she was going to say some more, but as he looked down on her face, she was clenching her teeth. “She must be in a lot of pain.” He thought. “Better leave the tough questions for later then.”

“Doctor, this woman needs medical attention IMMEDIATELY.” He put a very deliberate stress on the last word. He knew during critical moments, pulling ranks and being bossy would work like a charm. Guess there was some usefulness of being a politician anyway.

The doctor made her lie down on a stretcher, and called for two Turian nurses to carry it into a treatment room. It seemed like an excellent cue for him to leave, but Shepard couldn’t shake that question off his mind. “What kind of choices does a girl like her have to make?” He thought. “But I am by no means the only one who took the whole Cerberus attack hard. And I have to ask her if I have met her before. Her voice is too familiar.” His curiosity had the better of him. He settled himself down on a corner lounge and started waiting.

The woman emerged from the treatment room no more than 10 minutes later. Her bloodstained long white dress was gone and now she was wearing a spotted light blue dress, and her long dark brown hair was combed behind into a ponytail. Almost automatically, again, Shepard swiftly glanced at her body: with this shorter dress, he could see that she had good legs for her height; a couple pieces of medigel were attached to her arms; his eyes glanced across quickly over her chest—the low-cut dress truly brought out her assets; there was some color back on her cheeks, and her amber eyes looked even brighter without all the blood specks on her face. She surely is pretty, he thought, it’s not a task I could accomplish any given day, aiding an injured pretty girl.

#masseffect #masseffect3 #commander shepard #masseffectfanfiction #citadel #garrus vakarian #liara t'soni #n7 #alliancenavy #cerberus #mass effect fandom

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ohlookashinysquirrel · 10 years

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Brothers in Arms, pt 1 (Mass Effect fansnips)

Ok, so. First real post on here, by me. *Deepbreath*. Seriously, it's fan fiction, it's Mass Effect, it's m/m, it's probably going to be a bit mushy, so that's my advance warning

****

For all my quibbles about the ending, I *love* Mass Effect. I can't even pick a favourite character. But I've been playing through on an M!Shepard/Kaidan romance this time around in 3, and I'm starting to feel like this is my canon m!Shep, because I absolutely *love* the idea of Shepard coming to the realization in 3 that for all he's given, he's allowed to have a little back. But I refuse to believe it was just a random "decision in the middle of lunch at the Citadel", and I wanted to explore their history a bit more. No, I never changed any save files so I could play m!Shep/Kaidan in 1, and I wouldn't want to. I like it this way. They're just snips as I think them up, so I'll start with ME1.

***

---Scene ---------------------

“Keep watch on the perimeter, we don't know how many Geth are left in the area. I'll keep trying to raise the Norman-” Shepard bit the name off midway as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up; Williams gave a strangled yelp and he whirled around just in time to see Alenko being pulled towards the beacon, which was clearly no longer inactive.

He didn't even stop to think – of course, he never stopped to think, which was both his curse and his blessing. With a yell of, “GET THE SHIP!”, he threw himself onto the lieutenant, all but flinging him out of the beacon's influence. The air shimmered like poison in a desert, and he found the beacon's attention turned to him. He struggled, to no avail, and suddenly, as the tech clamped down on his mind, he couldn't even move. He felt as if something had wedged a splice bar into his brain and was trying to rip it open. With the gentleness of that same poisoned desert, images were burned onto his subconscious faster than he could make sense of them - with the amount of pain he was in, he didn't even try. He could only lapse into painful unconsciousness as, even in the blackness, information was forced upon him.

A few hours later, he woke with pain still shooting through his head; the strange images were still burned into the back of his eyelids and although he couldn't make much sense of them, he still managed to get the feeling that, somehow, they were important. An alien race, unlike any he'd seen, dying in the thousands to – giant machines? Ships? They must be. They look like whatever the hell that was in the warning video Joker picked up before the shakedown run. He groaned into an upright position, finally prying open his eyes; movement startled him as Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko jumped up from the chair next to the bed.

“Doctor, he's awake.”

He gave Kaidan a pained smile. “You ok, Lieutenant?” A faint nod was his response.

Doctor Chakwas turned with a relieved look as he spoke. “You gave us quite a scare, Commander. How do you feel?”

“Like I just drank a vorcha hangover cure.”

“I'm so sorry, Commander. It's all my fault – I got too close to that beacon, and you ended up in trouble after saving my ass-”

Shepard ran a hand over his closely-cropped hair. “Don't worry about it, Lieutenant. It's not your fault; you had no way of knowing.” Slipping off the medbay bed, he bit back another groan; looking at Alenko, however, he was surprised to see the look of gratitude and relief wash over the man's face. Huh. Hmm... new to the ship, newly promoted. I see – he's worried about repercussions. Seems genuinely appreciative, though. He nodded, just barely returning Alenko's smile before turning back to the doctor.

“What exactly happened?”

---Scene ---------------------

Shepard put down his cards with a grin. “Flush.”

“Yeah, sorry Shepard.” Kaidan laid his out, one by one, and with the second pair leading into a full house, Shepard cursed. “Dammit, Kaidan – are you sure you're not cheating? You're supposed to let the superior officer win once in a while.”

The biotic chuckled. “It wouldn't be so easy for me if you'd actually pay attention. Seriously, Shepard, relax. The course is set and there's nothing we can do until we get there.” He looked up at the commander out of the corner of his eye. “You've been awfully preoccupied.” A pause. “Everything all right with you and Ash?”

The words were enough to finally pull Shepard out of his reverie. “Me and Ash? Huh? Who's been saying-” He half stood.

Kaidan waved his hands. “What? No! Sorry, Shepard, we all just thought...” He trailed off. “So you and her aren't-”

“A couple? No.” Shepard shook his head. “We had a long talk about that, she's a great friend but I'm not interested.”

Kaidan gave a relieved sigh, and Shepard raised an eyebrow. “You interested in Ash, Kaidan?”

The lieutenant blinked. “What, Ashley?”

Shepard kept his eyebrow raised. “Yes, Ashley.”

Kaidan shook his head, looking down at the cards as he shuffled them. “No, Commander. Ash is a great friend, like you said, but we're just not right for each other. You've seen her on shore leave, out in the thick of it all – I can't even go within half a ward of Flux without a headache.”

Shepard scratched his head as he poured more whiskey for both of them. “That kind of stuff is superficial, Kaidan. I think you two would make a good pair.”

His friend shrugged. “I guess I'm just not interested. Besides, she's more into you, Shepard. We all know that.”

“Like I said, we talked, and last I heard she was hitting on one of the guys in engineering – so I don't think she's too brokenhearted. But I can't, Kaidan, even if I was interested in her I've got too much to focus on with tracking down Saren – I don't have the time or energy for a relationship.”

“I see.” Kaidan's voice was quiet.

“Well, if you ever do find someone that strikes your fancy, let me know. I'll do what I can to help.”

Kaidan gave a chuckle. “Thanks, Shepard, but I'm sure I'll manage.”

---Scene ---------------------

“Dammit, LT, go get Alenko. You know it's the right decision-”

Shepard jerked awake, pulling himself into a sitting position with his forehead on his knees. It had only been two days since Virmire, and he hadn't closed his eyes once without seeing Ashley's face. Losing someone on a mission is one thing, like Jenkins – but I've never had to actively choose someone's death before... what if there had been another way? Was I just too blind?

Throwing back the sheets, he made his way into the little stall that served for the CO's bathroom – just a toilet and a small sink, but it was more than some COs got. Splashing his face with cold water, he looked at his expression soberly, noting the dark circles under his eyes. I've got to get it together. Saren's still out there, we still don't know what this “conduit” is...

Pulling on his standard uniform shirt and boots, he left his cabin to go check on things in the battery. I can't let the crew know that I've got so many doubts, I'm asking them to risk their lives as it is, and now I've shown them I can't always protect them, I don't know... The thought twisted at his stomach, but he just swallowed it away.

He almost tripped on the stairs; looking down, he realized that one bootlace was undone. Just before the mess tables, he stepped to one side to re-tie it. Around the corner a couple of soldiers were talking; he didn't pay much mind to begin with, but then he heard Ashley's name.

First soldier: “Wonder if they're going to have a service or anything for Williams. It's a damn shame. I know she'd only been with us for a little while but she was a hell of a soldier.”

Second soldier: “Are you even surprised?”

Shepard looked up, startled by the man's angry voice. He still had his shoelaces in his hands, tightening the knot. The first soldier seemed surprised, too.

“What are you talking about? I heard it came down to a decision between Alenko and Williams, and you know how Shepard is. It probably took him-”

The second soldier cut him off. “Took him what, ten seconds at most? Come on, you've seen how chummy Alenko and Shepard are. Drinking together, playing cards – I bet it didn't take him any time at all to make that decision.”

“That's bullshit and you know it. I know Williams was a great soldier, and I know you and she were “talking”, but Alenko brings more to the mission. It's not exactly low-risk, you know.”

“Say whatever you want, but fraternization doesn't just mean sleeping together. I know I'm not the only one who's noticed.”

Around the corner, Shepard still knelt, frozen. Oh my god... is that what the crew thinks? I chose Kaidan because we're friends? Have we been spending so much time together that- oh my god. Turning, he pulled himself to his feet, stumbling back up to his cabin – just in time for him to be ill for the first time since his first spaceflight.

After washing his face, he sank down onto the floor, his back against the wall next to the sink.

---Scene ---------------------

It wasn't until they were safely out of immediate Citadel space that Shepard allowed himself to breathe, leaning forward over Joker's chair. “Set course for Ilos, and don't stop for anyone.”

“Aye, aye, Commander. I figure we've got about three hours, give or take.”

“Noted. I'll go make sure we're ready.” He straightened his jacket, heading off to his locker to pick up his armour before heading back up to his cabin to check it over for any weak spots.

He re-attached one of the arm plates, then turned his attention to the weapon roster to make sure everyone had everything they could conceivably need. It had taken him some time to get used to the different specs favoured by Tali and Wrex – Garrus and Liara's load outs were more in-line with Alliance regs – but he felt he was getting at least the hang of it. He'd just taken a drink of whiskey when someone knocked.

“It's open.” He looked up just as Kaidan opened the door, a hesitant expression on his face. Shep put down his whiskey, carefully looked down at his weapons roster, then back up at his visitor. “Lieutenant – everything all right?”

“Yeah, Shepard. Yeah, I just heard Joker say we were ETA three hours or so, so I figured – I don't know. We're on a hell of a run, we're probably going to get our asses court-martialed if we even survive – want to play some poker to take our minds off it all?” The neck of a bottle of particularly good whiskey just just peeked past the door frame. “I mean, you've been busy lately and all-”

“Sorry, Lieutenant. I've got to go over these numbers again. You know how it is.” Even as he said it, guilt trickled through his gut, especially at the look on Kaidan's face. Can't do it, can't be friends. Can't make that kind of decision again. Especially not if Kaidan is the one to suffer. “And then I've got to make sure the Mako's ready to go, we don't know what we're going to find on Ilos.”

“I understand, I should probably go over my gear one last time.” Kaidan did a good job of hiding the hurt, but Shepard could still sense it to some extent. “I'll be ready when it's time to go, Commander.”

“All right, Lieutenant.”

When the door shut, he stared at it for a while, then poured himself another whiskey and went back to the weapon roster.

#masseffect #masseffectfanfiction #shenko #mshepardkaidan #sappy #snippets

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lieutenantabrudas · 10 months

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Words: 6,983 Fandom: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sparatus (Mass Effect)/Original Female Character(s), Quentius (Mass Effect)/Original Female Character(s), Tevos (Mass Effect)/Original Character(s) Characters: Original Turian Character(s), Original Asari Character(s), Original Batarian Character(s), Original Drell Character(s), Original Mass Effect Character(s) Additional Tags: Alien Cultural Differences, Original Character-centric, Politics, Social Networking, Party Crashing Summary: Once a month, the various partners of the Citadel embassy diplomats get together for what can loosely be called a "pleasant little lunch." Aediteia Epirian, Councilor Sparatus's wife, considers them more akin to something outlawed by seven different war conventions. Unsatisfying food, dull company, and worst of all, Councilor Tevos's controlling and self-important bondmate. Eshaasya has everything down to a science to keep herself in control and everyone else bored enough to just do what she wants, and Teia would rather chew on glass. Unfortunately, making a fuss would cause more problems than it's worth, so she sucks it up and deals with it.

Enter the elusive, rarely-seen, and decidedly unwelcome (in Eshaasya's book) wife of Ambassador Quentius, armed only with her own reputation and a bone to pick, and suddenly Teia isn't quite so tuned out...

everybody say hiiiiii to the hot navy milf quentius married. her name is nautilea and teia has a big ol bisexual crush on her and she’s going to be relevant in both exdiff and bad end :3

i’ve been working on this for MONTHS i am FINALLY done. and now to do another self-indulgent one-shot instead of any of the multi-chapters i’m supposed to be doing. i’m so good at this.

#mefanfic #masseffectfanfiction #mass effect #turian oc #canon x oc #mass effect oc #aediteia epirian #nautilea victrilianus #eshaasya t'daana #and other assorted ones. kinda got attached to penayda a lil we might keep her #spirian #quentilea #writing

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margareth-shepard · 12 years

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The Traitor of the Galaxy

Just a normal day like any other in the Citadel. Every C-sec officer in their post, one and many civilians walking around. Cameras, keepers, aliens. But a shriek changed it all. An asari fainted in the feet of a turian. Not just any turian, im afraid to tell. I was about to get to the elevator when I heard the shriek. I ran all the way to the docks and saw what we all thought it was a ghost. Saren Artemis. The Saren that shot himself in the head years ago by begin indoctrinated. I was in shock. A huge mob was surrounding him as he stood calmly in front of the people afraid of him . Just stood there. Looking straight into my eyes.

-Commander. I was hoping I would run into you. Its not how it looks like. There is an explanation. Please take me to the council. I will not resist.

Still in shock, drew my gun and pointing to his face I signal him to keep on walking toward the elevator. What on Earth was he doing here? How the hell he survived? How?... We reached the elevator , me a few C-sec officers and Saren. The look on his eyes was so different, the didn’t glow blue anymore. They where brown. Almost tender. Ashamed.

-What are you doing here? Are you real Saren? How did you survived?- I almost burst.

-Well Shepard, you will know when I talk to the council. But I need you to help me.- he said in a creaky voice.

-How am I going to help you if you wont talk to me? I don’t even know how you are. Really..

-I understand, but I believe in your judgment.

As we reached to the Presidium, went thru the council door, the looks of horror and surprise where endless. They all looking at me, then at Saren all defenseless, all defeated. Still a eminence. A traitor.

-Commander! What is this! – Said the Salarian Chancellor. –What is the meaning of this!?

-He asked me to bring him here, he wouldn’t tell me why. But here we are. Saren, speak.

Rising his head. Looking at the counsil, fell on his knees and pleaded:

-I can no longer take the shame, If I must be prosecuted I will take the charges, I don’t have a home to come to. I am charged of treason. . No one sees with pride the once believed dead, Turian Spectre Saren Artemis. I was indoctrinated, the only one that believed in me, till the end was Commander Shepard. After the Citadel explosion and evacuation the reapers took my body and reanimated it with the plans of using my knowledge to it final use. Kill Commander Shepard. It was a long processes since my implants were malfunctioning thanks to the last fight with the Commander and her crew. I was in the collector’s base the Illusive Man took control of. When they harvested humans they left me alone in the platform I was laying down on. I heard explosions and detonations. I assumed it was the Alliance and took and escape pod. I landed in a Cerberus Research Facility, where a scientist took me under his wing. He was a big fan of Dr. Tsoni. So I used to hear all sorts of news from Sheppars all the time, thanks to his obsession. He had me tied, in a secret facility. They wanted to use me to kill Shepard if his agent seemed to fail. My implants started to fail, I broke free. I ran and got in a pod again with a lot of humans.

They attaked me, thinking I was geth or something. I resisted the attack. Almost dead, I reached Omega. Stole some Medi Gel and arrived here. Hoping the first face I would see was the Commander. I guess. She would have heard my plea. You would have kill me in the first sight of my face.

Everyone stood there silent. Not even the council knew what to do with him.

-If I’m going to be processed. I will not hesitate. I’ll accept my charges. But I wanted all of you to hear from me what really happened.

As he laid low his head, staring at the floor. Waiting to be, executed or something.

The Turian Chancellor walked forward and said:

-Saren, you where once a very respect member of our planet. Yet, you did committed crimes of high treason to the galaxy. Yet we all knew, you where indoctrinated. You will go to jail and will wait for your sentence.

-Chancellor! - I said without hesitate. I was there when he shot himself. I followed him through the galaxy with my team and heard great stories of what he was. He was indoctrinated. Maybe he was the cause for all this, but he was begin controlled. He wasn’t himself. Thanks to him, I reached the controls of the Citadel. And opened to the destruction of the first reaper. My team is witness of this acts.

-Commander, this is typical human behavior. How is that humans are so easy to be deceived? You are open to make a case. But I asure you most people wont listen. Do as you must Spectre. Do as you must.

It was a very uneasy feeling begin there and see Saren be taken away, He helpless, once a menace now. Nothing. I stood there, looking directly at his eyes. His eyes, crying for help, for pity.

-I must do something. But what. I need to see what is really behind this.

#ask-saren-arterious #mass effect roleplaying #masseffect #masseffectfanfiction #saren #saren arterious #Dryaded ME FanFics #Dryaded's Fan Fics

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