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snorky · 4 months

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As My Broken Heart Falls To My Feet, You Picked Up The Pieces Having Never Hurt Me Anyway

Hey y’all! I hope you all are having a wonderful and blessed holiday season, and if not, I offer some comfort. Mason Lohrei comfort, sweet like hot cocoa, for the bitter winter air. I haven’t been all in the best spirits recently, but I offer you angels with something special. For those who have studied long and hard for school, or those who seek warmth, here is a story I hope you all enjoy. Take care of yourself!

Pairing: Mason Lohrei x F!Reader

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Toxic Relationship (not with Mason), Angst, Stressed Reader, Infidelity/being cheated on (not by Mason), Drinking/Alcohol consumption (of legal age) (let me know if I need to add anything)

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As the finals and midterms approached, the sense of being a false being, an impostor, filled her to the brim. She wanted to have knowledge, the desire to learn and know more, but there was only so much she could cram in before the next week.

A message buzzed on her phone, once or twice, bringing her back to the suffocating dorm room where she sat at her desk, notes and textbooks and pens sprawled everywhere.

When she looked, on the screen was a message from her significant other, who she felt was too overbearing, poisonous.

Nausea flooded her senses, the world seemingly swaying around her, spinning. Her stomach churned, heart sank, but then it all came to a halt. Taking a breath in, her fingers carefully sent out a response, praying to some higher power that it wouldn’t aggravate him further.

He saw her message no later than a few seconds, and sent a reply back just as quick.

After she responded, she set her phone down, forcing herself to refocus on the information of notes and diagrams in front of her, ignoring the outside world.

But again, her phone buzzed, almost angrily, forcing her attention back towards her phone. She didn’t have to look twice to know who it was, her heart kept its guard up well.

Her head swirled in loss, unable to come up with an answer that would satisfy the both of them. There was no solid answer, someone had to be disappointed.

Every time she went to his place, she left feeling just as empty as she came. All take, no give, and she felt like she no longer had anything to give. Her purpose seemed like a lost cause, drifting around on the Earth, seeking for something to fulfill her meaning.

His words cut through her like a shard of glass, broken from a cup. Common, all too familiar, and yet it hurts every time.

She set her phone down and gathered her notes into her bag, seeking a quick escape to the campus library, alone. No phone, no distraction. It was her safe space, and she'd be damned if it was occupied by someone that made her feel like she had to walk on eggshells.

The walk to the library was short, brisk, the cold evening air more apparent with each passing day. It was crowded, common for this time of year when each student suddenly discovered what a library was.

Luck was on her side as she found a seat near the back, empty and unoccupied. Quickly, she made her way through the mass of people crowding around the large tables, and took a seat at the smaller table.

As she reorganized her notes and books, she started to feel more at ease, at calm. All the information seemed to flow smoothly, easily in her mind, all the equations and diagrams making more sense than ever.

“Oh hey! It’s you!”

She looked up, searching for the voice, and her eyes were met with a familiar face from her analytics class. He was always cheery and energetic, a smile on his face paired with his rosy cheeks seemingly every day, a breath of fresh air from her hectic life.

“Oh, hi Mason.” A soft smile appeared on her face. “What’s up?”

His hands were stuck into the pockets of his jacket, emblem of the school’s hockey team embroidered proudly on the upper left of his jacket. “I’m bored, but I also need your help studying for the exams.”

Observing his face, she knew he was an honest man, no lie weaved in his words. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, I know you’re smart,” he stated with a smile.

She let out a gentle laugh at his words, warning herself not to take it to heart since she was, well, afraid of not meeting his expectations.

“I try, but that’s how it is sometimes,” she sighed. “Come sit, you’re welcome to if you want.” Her hand gestured towards the chair across from her, in which Mason set his bag down beside him as he sat in the chair.

He thanked her as he started to unpack his own notes, careful to not overtake the table. As he started to work on revising and studying his notes, he became stuck, evident in the confusion on his face and his furrowed brows.

She took note of this and tried to help him. “What’s wrong?”

Shaking his head slightly, he set the paper down between the both of them so that she could see the problem.

“How does this like, work?” He pointed towards a question written at the top of the page.

Looking at the paper, she saw a graph with several data points all clustered together in a pattern, as well as an equation written beside it, most likely representing how the data should be represented.

“So the equation represents how the data should show up over a given set of time, and you should first pick two points from the cluster to figure out the predicted trajectory of the data,”

He nodded his head, slowly starting to understand where he should go from there. She watched him as he scrawled down some numbers, using the equation to compare his results.

“Oh, just be careful, the data can switch up if you consider any external factors that might affect the data collected,” she added.

A smile formed on his face once he got the hang of it, the numbers and words making sense. “Thank you, a lot actually,” he chuckled. “I’ve been stuck on this for a day or two.”

Smiling at him, pride swelling in her heart, she spoke. “My pleasure, Mason. You’re always welcome to reach out to me ya’know? You have my email,”

“Mhm, sorry.” He let out a small laugh as he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. “I just don’t use email often, I’d prefer to text you if that’s okay,”

She nodded in understanding and scrawled down her number on a post-it note, adding a small smiley face in the corner before she handed it to him.

He took the note and smiled at the little drawing, before putting the slip of paper in his pocket. “Thank you,”

Giving him a small smile, she returned her focus back to her own work, calculus problems to prepare herself for the upcoming exams.

They both worked in silence separately, and yet in each other’s presence. It was comforting, the sense of companionship.

Warm, inviting, it was all amazing, and all felt good.

Time flowed by like honey, slow and sweet, and it became late at the time it should’ve, and yet she didn’t want to go. The library was almost empty, few students still remaining.

He looked up at her, not wanting to leave either despite the late time. “Do you mind if we study together again?” His eyes were filled with a look of pure sweetness, a smile just as delicate. “I learned a lot from you, and I think that I’d learn more the next time,”

She smiled back, just as sweetly and twice more. “Of course, my pleasure, Mason.”

“Tomorrow?” A twinge of hope was interwoven in his voice.

“Tomorrow.” She nodded.

The look on his face could only be described as pure in her eyes, the look you’d see on a child holding their favorite stuffed animal, knowing that they’d carry it long into their adult years, never forgotten.

As they packed their bags and parted ways, they looked back at one another, still smiling.

She walked back towards her dorm, the night now dark, and only illuminated by the street lamps. The winter chill crept up on her, only making her move faster towards her destination.

When she opened the door to her dorm, her roommate, her best friend, stood in front of her, a rather concerned look etched on her face.

“Where have you been? Your boyfriend seems pretty angry and has been blowing up your phone,” she said nervously, an awkward grin on her face.

Her stomach sunk, a pit that her heart seemed to fall into. “Shucks, I guess I forgot my phone.” A lie, but it was necessary.

“Good luck, I’m here if you need anything.” Her friend saluted her, in which she saluted back as she grabbed her phone off of her desk.

Text after text was displayed on her phone, each message getting more furious after the previous one.

Carefully, she responded, with as much love and care and forgiveness as a saint would, despite her soul being marred and tainted with fear and doubt.

A few seconds after she sent the text, he called her. Her stomach sunk once more, her skin growing cold and clammy. The phone buzzed in her hand, sounding like a swarm of hornets hurling at her.

As she picked up the call, she anticipated his shouts, filled with wrath and anger, lashing out at her.

And so there was, his rough, gritted voice echoing through the phone, yelling some sort of rhetorical question about her whereabouts, hypocritical when she asked about his evening.

Shortly after, he hung up on her, allowing the silence to sound the other line. Her friend walked back into the dorm room, arms open in sympathy, which she took in the offer for.

“Listen, I’m not telling you what to do, but I think it’s best you drop him,”

She looked up at her friend, not in anger, but in saddened understanding. It was too evident that she was constantly being hurt, being deteriorated by his behavior.

“Just not right now, one day,”

Her friend nodded in understanding and walked back to her bunk while she stood there, thinking. It was a major step, maybe in the right direction, maybe in the wrong, but her foot wasn’t yet planted in the ground.

Nights passed, and it became the day, or rather night before her first exam. Empty disposable cups that were previously filled to the brim with tea were littered all over her desk, her notes scattered around, pens and pencils and highlighters sprawled out.

Her friends were in the library studying together since they had the same classes, as well as a final presentation and paper due, and so it was just her in the shared dorm, alone with the silence.

She had confidence in herself, that she’d do well, maybe even surpass her expectations, but there was some sort of lingering doubt.

Perhaps that doubt was reinforced by the fact that her significant other barely reached out to her at a time when she needed reassurance. Or maybe how he barely checked in on her, despite her checking in on him.

Tears sat on the edge of her eyes, her vision blurring slightly as she wiped them away, attempting to turn her focus to her work.

She wanted, desired, a future where she was at peace. Where she could come home smiling, where she would live without fear of disappointing or angering. What she wanted was to get herself back.

As she began to refocus herself on her work, fueled by some fury to be better, the stress seemed to watch her from afar, but not far enough. It was a false ideology to believe that she was okay at the moment, but nothing felt better than masking it for a little while.

Knocking came from her door, which was odd when she considered that her friends told her that they would be back by nine, not seven. She also considered the fact that her friends would most likely have their keys on them.

Getting up from her chair, she walked to the door, confused.

“Hello?”

“Hi.” A familiar voice responded. “It’s me, Mason, from your analytics class.”

She opened the door, revealing him standing there, a beautiful bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a bag of fancy chocolates in the other. His smile seemed extra sweet, sweeter than it normally was, and his face was flushed with a soft pink tint.

“These are for you,” he said, his voice tender and soft.

Her hand came up to her mouth slightly, attempting to cover up the fact that she was beyond awe at what he had brought to her.

“Mason, what—”

Mason quickly became more flustered, embarrassed by the fact that her reaction was a little different from what he’d expected. “I’m sorry if you don’t like them—”

“No no,” she interjected, walking closer towards him, her fingers lightly grazing the petals of the flower. “They’re gorgeous, Mason.”

His smile came back again, beaming with delight as she took the bouquet from his arms. “Thank you,” he said bashfully. “And I got you some chocolates as well, you deserve some after working really hard on studying.”

Her eyes lit up as she noticed it was her favorite, and she looked up at him. “How’d you know?”

“On the first few days of the lectures, you gave everyone around you chocolate,” he chuckled sweetly, his laugh smooth like honey. “You then turned to your friend stating that these were your favorites.”

She blushed, acknowledging how he was attentive to the little things, as well as the gesture of it.

Looking down at the flowers in her arms, she smiled, but not yet understanding why he gave them to her. “And the flowers?”

“A little birdie told me you were not doing so well, and so I thought you might want something that’d maybe cheer you up,”

He smiled more at the sound of her slight laugh at his response, but he could tell that the look in her eyes seemed heartbroken.

“Thank you, Mason,” her voice broke a little. “It means a lot during around this time, ya’know, finals and stuff,”

His face expressed slight worry and concern at the sound of her voice, not sounding as happy as she seemed. “My pleasure, but may I ask you what’s wrong?”

She looked up at him, suddenly vulnerable and scared, but she trusted him. “Just a crappy personal life, that’s all,” she laughed bitterly.

Nodding his head, he hummed in understanding. “I’m here if you need anything, I can assure you that you saved my butt for that analytics class.” He let out a laugh, in which she laughed as well. “Pretty sure I would fail my exam tomorrow if you hadn’t helped me,”

At this point, she finally snapped, the storm of tears flowing down her face rapidly as she sobbed.

No one had ever thanked her so purely just for helping them. No one had been so kind and sweet to her besides her friends and roommates. Not even her significant other had cared for her this much in a time where she needed it.

“What’s wrong, are you alright?” He quickly took a step closer to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders as she cried into his chest.

“M’sorry Mason but—” She hiccuped, “I just really appreciate you caring for me like this.”

His hand gently stroked her upper back in a soothing motion as he hushed her, hoping that she’d be comfortable around him.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he whispered. “I’m really proud of you, alright?”

The kind words fell from his lips so sweetly that she cried even harder, knowing that even her significant other hadn’t said anything reassuring in nature to her.

“Mason, I’m sorry but, not even my boyfriend did anything like this for me.” She continued to cry in his embrace, grateful that no one was watching as he walked them both further into the room, closing the door behind him.

His stomach dropped, not for the fact that she had a boyfriend, but for the fact that her boyfriend, someone who was supposed to be kind and caring towards her, couldn’t even do the bare minimum.

“It’s not your fault. You deserve everything, alright?”

She nodded her head, still wrapped in his arms, and her breaths slowly began to become more steady as time passed.

Her friends came back not too much later, smiling and giggling to each other as they saw her wrapped in Mason’s arms when they walked into the room, the both of them asleep in an awkward position, sitting on the floor.

When she woke up the next morning to her alarm going off, she was in her bed, tucked in warmly with little to no memory of how she ended up there. Looking over on the bedside table, she saw the familiar bouquet of flowers with the chocolate from Mason last night, but also a sticky note.

Reading the note, she smiled to herself from the thoughtful message that Mason wrote before he left, with a little smiley face in the corner.

He was always so sweet and attentive to small details, making him all the more perfect. But she knew it would be wrong to think of him as anything more than a friend. Just because her significant other couldn’t take care of her doesn’t mean that she could seek out some sort of comfort. Or at least, that’s what went through in her mind.

But the final and midterm exams came and went, and her stress seemed to slowly let go of the grasp it had on her.

She laughed more, smiled more, and got herself back, with one less thing stressing her out. Her friends invited her out for some drinks and food to celebrate, specifically at a bar-and-grill nearby campus.

“Jeez, it’s cold tonight,” her friend shivered, her hands wrapped around herself.

“Dunno why you didn’t want to bring a jacket then,” another friend said, looking over at her. “The right jacket won’t ruin a cute outfit.”

They approached the bar, the sound of nostalgic Christmas music seemed to flow from the open doors, laughter and the clinking of glass from toasts and celebrations interweaved within.

When they all settled down at a table, neatly tucked into one of the dimmer corners of the place, they placed their orders, in which they all settled on some appetizers. The drinks they ordered came by shortly, multiple glasses of varying shapes and sizes, colors and flavors since they decided to treat themselves.

“Cheers!” Her friend said, holding up her raspberry daiquiri in the air. “Cheers to a new semester of learning!”

They all clinked their drinks together, smiles plastered on their faces in pure happiness. Jokes and banter were shared, their laughter filling the air like fluff, and conversations that seemed so natural.

As they were all enjoying the night, her phone buzzed, and the unsettling feeling crept up on her again.

Looking at the text that appeared on the screen of her phone, she couldn’t tell whether or not she should cry, or laugh. Her significant other was no longer significant it seemed, having admitted to being unfaithful, having admitted to being what she thought he wasn’t.

She laughed, drawing the focus and attention to her at the table as she held her face with one hand, holding her phone with the other. The mix of alcohol in her system didn’t seem to make it all clearer.

“What happened? What’s so funny?”

“He did it,” she paused. “He actually did it.”

All of her friends looked at her in confusion, unaware of the turmoil that boiled within her. She slid her phone to her friends, showing them the messages that he sent to her, the confession of his infidelity. Their faces all turned to shock, jaw-dropped and mouths agape.

One of her friends set their hand on her shoulder gently, “Oh my gosh, are you alright?”

She smiled back at them, almost wrongly for the situation at hand. “I am now, he’s no longer mine.”

As she sent her final text to him, a formal message of separation, she put her phone in her bag, and picked up her drink.

“Cheers to everlasting happiness!”

They all arose in celebrations, toasts, cheers, smiles and all the sorts, fireworks almost sparkling in the air. It was a new start, but especially for her. The world seemed more vibrant now, the fuzzy soft glow of the bar lights making everything all the more ethereal, and it reminded her of Mason.

She smiled as she thought of him, his soft lips that smiled so sweetly and only spoke kindly, his bright eyes when he was passionate, and his laugh that was so contagious.

“Jeez, is it the alcohol that is making you all flustered or is there something else?” Her friend laughed.

“I think she’s thinking about her prince charming,”

“Speak of the devil—”

When she looked up from her drink, her eyes met Mason looking right at her, a smile appearing on his face as he saw her. It seemed as if her prayers were answered by some higher power.

Her blushed face became more blushed, hot on her skin, and her world seemed to become a fuzzy blurry madness. His own face seemed to light up at the sight of her, cheeks beautifully rosy, even in the dim lighting.

She looked back at her friends, their smiles softly encouraging her, beaming with bright pride for her success, and then she wandered off towards the direction of him, his warmth lulling her in.

As she approached him, he seemed all the more soft, no sharp edges or harsh words. He was an angel, more beautiful than ever now.

“Oh, hey you,” he said softly.

She couldn’t necessarily hear him, especially over the loud music, but she read his lips as if it were the first language she ever learned.

“Hi, Mason.” Her lips were upturned in a dopey smile,

He observed her with soft eyes, admiring her seemingly endlessly, her beauty holding him in a trance.

“Are you okay?” he asked with genuineness. “You don’t normally like to drink and go out like this,”

A soft, saddened look seemed to take over her face, her heart searching for why he was so concerned.

“Sorry, I don’t mean it in a rude way, it’s just that you—” His pause made him feel confused at his own words as well, not knowing why he was so worried about her. “I want you to be safe, and I know you’re with your friends, but I just want to be sure,”

She smiled at his sweetness, a familiar pattern now that he seemed to always be the one making her smile. “It’s okay, I’m safe,” she assured him. “I’m single now, he doesn’t have me anymore.”

He stood there, frozen in shock at her suddenness, unexpecting the reason behind her energy being more outward and extroverted.

“Oh—” He paused, not knowing what to say. “Are you alright?”

“Better than ever.” She gave him another soft smile as she tried to move back to her friends, waiting at the table for her, but Mason’s hand gently grasped hers.

“Please stay with me, we can go get some food, another place more quiet, just me and you.” His eyes twinkled with a newfound magic, like little sparklers on New Year’s Eve.

She nodded as a response, her face more flushed than ever with the alcohol in her system, tipsy and woozy. “I’ll go tell my friends, I don’t wanna scare ‘em,”

As she went to tell her friends, he let his own friends know about his whereabouts before he followed behind her, making sure that she’s okay. She quickly pulled out a twenty dollar bill to cover her own drinks and foods’ expenses, setting it down on the table where her friends were.

“M’kay, let’s go,” she said, holding Mason’s hand as she led them both out of the stuffy, noisy bar. He nodded, following her without complaint, happy to see her energetic and lively.

The fresh air was cold and sharp against their skin, making her shiver slightly as it was colder than before when she arrived at the bar. Mason took quick note of this and shrugged off his jacket, placing it over her shoulders.

She looked up at him, a soft, gentle look in her eyes that made him melt into a blush. “Thank you,” she whispered, her breath visible in the air.

“My pleasure,”

They both continued walking down the street, fingers intertwined with each other’s hand, the snow falling down like petals from a flower, flurrying around the both of them like magic in the air. It crunched beneath their feet, the sound familiar to the winter for the both of them.

The light from the lamp post shone delicately, fuzzily on their figures as they walked down the street, the sound of Christmas music flowing out of a nearby restaurant.

She gave a gentle tug on Mason’s hand, looking up at him with wonder in her eyes. It was a newfound magic, to see her so happy, so free from her stress it seemed.

“Dance with me,”

��You don’t have to ask me twice.”

He gently held her hand in his, the warmth between their palms being shared, and placed a hand on her back, pulling her closer to him, which in turn erupted a soft giggle from her.

They twirled around together, laughing, smiling more than ever. She’d never felt so free before, so unbound to any restriction in her life. His heart seemed to grow at the sight of her, free from the weight on her shoulders, and how she seemed to be more heavenly.

“You’re so beautiful,” he sighed.

Her cheeks became more red, a lovely concoction of being enamored, slightly tipsy, as well as the cold air. “You are too, Mason.” She paused for a brief moment, admiring his features, his gorgeous eyes, lips, all that he had. “You’re so lovely,”

Their night was spent full of laughter, sweetness, the sort of things she could only ever dream of, and here it was, a reality. It was a new start for her, a fresh, clean start for her life, a new chapter, new beginnings.

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