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delimeful · 5 years

Text

all you have is your fire

Day 19: Trap

warnings: sympathetic deceit & remus, captivity, fear, panic, miscommunication, lying

The trap was so cleverly disguised that Dee didn’t recognize it for what it was until the twins were already racing towards it, each trying to beat the other the way they always did when they were allowed out borrowing with him. The human who lived here frequently had opened snacks in his backpack, and the younger borrowers had quickly learned it was the best place to check for tastier loot.

It was only when he caught the glint of metal tucked underneath a flap of the bag’s fabric that he realized, and by the time he called out, it was too late. The twins froze, turning to face him with surprised looks, and he held a hand out.

“Don’t move an inch.” He instructed, and even Remus, who was wily at the best of times, understood the urgency in his voice. Roman looked up, and his sharp inhale made Remus follow suit.

“Uncle Dee, it’s a-”

“I know.” He cut Roman off, voice self-assured and without a hint of panic. “It hasn’t been set off yet. Just stay still, and I’ll get you out of there no problem.”

He quickly strode towards the opening to the cage, taking in the situation. It was a large, wire box, with a slightly raised platform in the center next to the cookies that were now easily identifiable as bait. The floor of the cage was mostly covered in a fabric that matched the bag, so it was no wonder the twins hadn’t realized at first.

Ignoring the concerned noises from his nephews, he stepped into the cage, carefully stepping over to them. His heart sank. Roman was safe, a few steps away from the center, but Remus- Remus was standing solidly on top of the pressure plate, body tense with the strain of staying still. Dee took a deep breath.

“Okay. Roman, get out of the cage.”

Roman glanced between Remus and Dee, face pale, and Dee cut off the forming argument before it could start, grabbing him by the shoulders.

“I need you safe so I can work without any distractions. I will get your brother out of here, alright?” He held firm as Roman stared at him hard, and then nodded. “Good.”

He waited until the younger twin had cleared the exit of the trap before turning to Remus, who looked almost sickly with the sweat on his clammy face. He stepped forwards, careful, and crouched to look at the plate.

“It’s gonna snap on me as soon as I move, isn’t it?” Remus asked, hands balled into tiny fists. “Is it one of the ones that breaks your neck or chops your head off? Or are the humans gonna get me instead?” His voice wavered slightly.

Dee knew how these traps worked. The moment the pressure was moved off the plate or even shifted slightly, the trap door would be triggered and it would take human-level strength to open it again.

“You’re not going to die today, Remus.” Dee said, carefully gauging the distance between them and the trap door. Much too far to run, no matter how quick Borrowers were.

Remus sniffled petulantly. “You don’t know that. I could die a hundred billion ways today. Smushed, boiled, stabbed, breaking all my bones, eaten by a rat-”

“Well, I know that you aren’t going to die stuck in a trap like this one, because I’m your uncle and I know everything.” Dee grabbed one of Remus’s arms and the back of his shirt, taking a couple of deep breaths. “You’re going to get out of here just fine.”

Remus looked up at him, eyes narrowing. “Both of us, right? You’re gonna save me like a knight in one of Roman’s dumb stories and we’re going to go die horribly together some other day, right?”

Dee cursed the fact that the more perceptive twin had been the one to reach the pressure plate first. He gave Remus a tired smile. “That’s absolutely right.”

The kid’s eyes widened, his mouth opening, but before he could say anything to make this harder than it already was, Dee was hauling him up and tossing him with all the upper body strength he’d accumulated over his many years of borrowing.

Remus collided with his brother in a tangle of limbs and yelps, and Dee sighed in relief even as the door snapped shut, leaving him trapped. He ambled over to the front of the cage anyhow, trying to make sure the door hadn’t caught any stray limbs.

Roman got up first, rushing to press himself against the cage door.

“Uncle Dee, you’re stuck! Oh no, we have to get you out of there-!”

“Easy, Roman.” Dee reached through the criss crossed bars of the trap, and a small pair of hands immediately latched onto his arm like a lifeline. “We can still try to get the trap open.”

Roman nodded, rubbing at his eyes, but was cut off by the muttering from his brother, who was still on his hands and knees, not looking at either of them.

“Liar.” Remus looked up at him, green eyes furious. “Liar! You lied!”

Dee sighed. “A ‘thank you for saving my butt, Uncle Dee’ would suffice as well, you know.”

Roman pulled at his brother’s arms, ignoring Remus’s angry shoves. “Come on, Rem, we don’t have time to be mad! We have to help him before-!”

Loud as a gunshot, the sound of footsteps approaching the front door cut Roman off. Dee reached out, letting himself be selfish one more time as his nephews crowded against him for a mockery of a hug, and then pushed them back harshly. He shoved his bag through the grated door, and before they could protest, held up his hook to show he was keeping it.

“Take that and get out of here. I’m not going to lay down and die, so you two better not either. Don’t fight, or I’ll ground you both when I get back.” Look after each other.

The lock turned with a loud clunk, and the twins shared a look before bolting for the hole in the wall they’d emerged from. Even with Roman so obviously crying, they made it back in record time, and Dee made sure not to drop his relaxed slouch until the wallpaper closed up behind them.

Just in time for the human to enter the room.

Dee retreated to the back of the cage immediately, despite knowing it would only delay the inevitable, and shoved the hook into the back of his shirt. Uncomfortable? Yes. Worth a potential getaway? Also yes.

Unfortunately, the human seemed intent on checking the trap first thing, and so he only got a moment of reprieve before huge hands were gripping the wires and pulling the cage out of the bag, into the open. There was immediately a gasp.

“You’re not a mouse!” The human said. He adjusted his glasses, getting even closer to the floor to peer into the cage properly. Dee met the giant brown eyes with a glare. “Oh my goodness, you’re a tiny person!”

Astute, Dee thought bitingly, but remained quiet even as the human sat back up and the door was pried open. He attempted to duck around the hand that reached in, hoping to squeeze past to the exit, but humans were a Borrower’s worst nightmare for a reason. They were fast and precise, and in no time, he was enclosed in a warm fist and lifted to eye level.

“Are you the reason my snacks keep disappearing?” The human asked, opening his hand slightly so that Dee was flat on his back in his palm and he could poke at him. He shied away from the touch, and to his surprise, the human withdrew. “Sorry, little guy. Gosh, you must be innovative to survive at that size… Are you all alone? Do you have a little family that helps you?”

Panic hit Dee so hard it was nearly blinding. “No!”

He slapped a hand over his own mouth, but the damage was done. The fingers around him twitched, and the human’s eyes were huge. “You do talk!” His one-word response seemed to register a moment later, and the human’s expression went all sad and pitying. “You’re all alone?”

Dee struggled for a moment, and then gave in, haunted by the image of his nephews getting caught and him unable to stop it. “Yes. There’s no one else. I’m the only one.”

The human seemed on the brink of tears now. “That must be so hard…” He glanced down at the trap, where the cookies he’d left as bait were crumbled at the bottom, and seemed to make up his mind.

“Well don’t you worry, little guy!” He stood, the rush of movement making Dee a little dizzy. “I’ll make you a warm, home-cooked meal, and I’ll be your friend! Then you won’t have to scavenge for crumbs by yourself anymore!”

Dee bristled internally, but he couldn’t let himself give into the anger he felt at being treated so demeaningly. Demanding this giant let him go wouldn’t get him anywhere but stuck back in a cage. He just needed to wait for the human to let his guard down, and then he’d get back to the kids and they’d move far away.

“That sounds fantastic!” He enthused, voice sickly-sweet. The human beamed at him, making his way into the kitchen, and Dee began to plot potential routes to the nearest wall entrances.

He just hoped the kids would do alright until he could get free.

#g/t #giant/tiny #borrowers #sanders sides #ts deceit #ts roman #ts remus #ts patton #writing #my writing #yes i know this is technically like three days late but oh well!#we'll see if i cant catch up :P #hmm first time ive ever written remus!#oct prompts #hiddendreamer67 prompts #all you have is your fire #ayhiyf

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nightcoremoon · 5 years

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So I finally watched Deadpool 2. long post. very... very... very long.

back in 2009 my then 7 year old sister really got into avatar the last airbender and I hadn't really watched it but I had to share the tv with my four sisters and honestly between the kids television and disney sitcoms it was a breath of fresh air, and for a year and a half we would wait for reruns of episodes we hadn't seen yet. avatar was the show that got me into fandoms. alas, time passed and by the time korra was playing we'd moved to a different house and lost cable tv because the stepfather refused to pay child support and we were on a one parent income. we didn't really do anything together anymore either because I was in high school now. but then she got super into comic books. and I mean SUPER into them. especially harley quinn and deadpool. so when they announced the first movie and suicide squad we had both collectively lost our shit in excitement. alas, mom said she wasn't allowed to watch it since it was rated R and she was only 14. so one late february afternoon I was gonna take her out to see a movie. I told mom we were going to go see zoolander 2. in the car, I looked at her and said

we're not watching zoolander

and she screamed

and we watched deadpool

AND IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME

anyway more time passed and I heard that a second one was coming out and I wanted to do the same thing but that didn't happen and I lost my chance to see it in the theater. and then as I got enraptured in transitioning and working and a whole bunch of other stuff I just never got around to it. I did watch all of the supporting videos and trailers and stuff though. anyways, my sister (yes the same one) just rented it on dvd from a video store and watched it with her boyfriend today (actually yesterday but shut up), so I just sat down to watch it after work and

Was

...

a little disappointing at first, don't get me wrong. there were a lot of plot contrivances and I LOATHE fridge stuffing. I literally made a joke, "if she dies I'm gonna be mad" and then BOOM she fucking died and I was so pissed off I almost just turned it off. but I decided fuck it might as well watch the whole thing. it was a huge step forward from a technical perspective and all of the cinematography was on point and I could tell david pulled his a-game and did so much better than tim did (sorry tim, I love mass effect 2 and scott pilgrim if it's any consolation) and felt so much more fluid of an action movie considering the man did john fucking wick. of course ryan was fantastic too, as he always is. everyone was great: rena, tj, karan, leslie, BRI AND KUTSUNA-SAN, zazie, and stef's voice plus the cgi crew. also I always love terry crews, bill skarsgard, matt damon, alan tudyk, and the two seconds that brad pitt was on screen, even if their appearances were for comedic effect. I wasn't really sold on julian though but he's a newcomer on the scene and he did pretty well for all intents and purposes. I could tell which scenes were filmed first thought but this isn't a scathing attack on a child's acting abilities. I'm just angry that the actual plot for getting to the end was so weak, that they're aware and had ryan lampshade the fuck out of it, and the last half hour was such a trip.

okay so first of all how in the FUCK did sergei figure out who deadpool's secret identity was, track down wade wilson's apartment, get a hit crew together, and make his way downtown in the amount of time it took dopinder to drive wade home, wade and vanessa to bang, and them to start watching a movie? oh yeah sure there's nothing saying that their talk about his daddy issues was the same day let alone the same hour as the previous scene except for the simple fact that there was no fucking indication that any time had passed. either way, someone fucked up, and it was for the sole purpose of fridging ness to cause wade manpain. although frankly the only thing I hate worse than killing off the previous waifu for the next is breaking them up for zero reason whatsoever from out of nowhere (or doing both: if you do both then you're no better than paul blart mall cop 2 and that movie is a steaming blight on humanity that's only saved by perfectly syncing to pink floyd's dark side of the moon album). and to be fair THEY ACTUALLY USED THAT AS A PLOT ELEMENT AND MADE ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND HAUNTING SCENES I HAVE EVER SEEN IN A MOVIE. and also a hilarious one. so that sucked at first but then redeemed itself later. I'm still a little salty that he killed francis for nothing. MORE ON KILLING LATER.

(actually upon reflection maybe wade didn't hide his secret identity at all so it's perfectly reasonable that sergei just went after him but that would awaken a whole swathe of problems like why the fuck are wade and ness livin in the middle of the city full of crime and shit??? and more on that later)

dopinder killing his rival in love. come on now, that's just unrealistic. dopinder is too fucking incompetent to successfully murder anyone who isn't a pedophile. MORE ON THAT LATER.

the suicide. I can understand going out with a bang but are we supposed to believe that wade bought all those barrels, wheeled them in, and arranged them all and never once thought "well gee maybe I'm overreacting a little bit"? okay, he was depressed and not thinking clearly, but he was constantly getting drunk, doing coke, and god knows what else. he somehow didn't have the clarity to not kill himself but had just enough to arrange such an extravagant death? yeah yeah I get it, rule of funny and cool, and I can forgive it because it's deadpool, but god damn it that's really lazy (AND GODDAMN IT THEY EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE IT TOO. ITS LIKE THE ROYAL RAT AUTHORITY BONFIRE HERE). it's also indicative that weasel and colossus and dopinder are just bad or at least distant friends. and at least althea has an excuse being that she can't see. but as for the other two? bruh he is suicidal and unstable as hell. the last thing he needs is SPACE. but well maybe he hid it well, like kurt cobain, robin williams, chris cornell, chester bennington, okay writing this sentence maybe that actually does make sense. fuck.

negasonic thought that wade "flamboyant pansexual" wilson was lesbophobic? what? I understand it was for a joke but like come on now. surely she'd know that wade legitimately wanted to fuck colossus but wouldn't because he loved vanessa. lesbian gaydar works well, okay? then again the writers are not lesbians so I mean they can't be faulted for not grasping the raw power lesbians exude. (and if there's canonical evidence negasonic is actually bi, the same rule applies because wlw solidarity and stuff). and that's more than made up with the interactions between wade and yukio. whom I love and would die for. she's delightful and I hope she gets plenty of screentime in DP3. (also lmao 'pinkie pie from my little pony'. the real pink pony would be proud)

now, I get that this is purely because of license issues and budget constraints but THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF THE X MEN COEXISTING WITH THE PEDOPHILE HOME AND THE ICE BOX IN THE SAME UNIVERSE IS SO FUCKING ASININE. even if I made concessions for everyone being dead despite the timeline being fucked up the ass without lube, and admitting to never having watched literally any x men movie past X3 and yes that means I've not seen origins, japan arc [wait shit yukio's in that WTF SONY], first class, days of future past, apocalypse, or logan so I'm not an expert on the field but like. FUCK. I know there's jurisdiction, things change, erik is away and charles is dead (I think) and logan is dead (I know), and there's six whole movies I'm lost on, but jesus christ, none of that segment had any work done to make sure it was logical. so here we're supposed to believe that colossus and negasonic took wade as a trainee in the X Jet to Allegorical Racist/Homophobic And Literal Pedophile Central to... do what, exactly? What was the fucking plan? Because it sure as fuck looks like the plan was to distract him enough to force the Devil May Cry (sorry but I see DMC I either think of the rap duo or the game series) to haul him off to fucking prison to the fucking nth power. Colossus who seems to be the head honcho and sole decision maker of the X Men just stood by and watched until bullets started flying. Was he recruiting? Was he the damage control? Was he the cheap plot moving device whose sole reason for showing up at Essex was to punch Wade out before he killed headmaster touchykids allowing for the hamfisted climax? Clearly if we were to derive any conclusion from this circlejerk we have to assume that not only Colossus but the entirety of the XMansion just don't give a fuck anymore, or that it isn't important to make sense because hey this is a Deadpool movie so fuck you for using logic. Excuse the shit out of me for being confused as to what the fuck actually happened, because if Colossus is willing to let Wade get thrown into prison for killing a pedophile but he's not gonna TAKE ACTUAL LEGAL ACTION AGAINST ESSEX HOUSE FOR TORTURING MUTANT CHILDREN FOR DECADES (Domino admitted to it being the same when she was a kid), either it's just a Public Relations nightmare to not let the Run-DMC haul him off, Essex is a legal powerhouse on the same level as the Westboro Baptist Cult with lawyers up the ass, or they changed a lot of shit from the trailers and cobbled together what they could from what remained (which is the most likely suspect because Bedlam and Shatterstar had scenes in the trailer where they were not dead and were actually fighting with Wade and Domino). Regardless, the scene however dumb and nonsensical was necessary I guess, and established Russell/Firefist as a character. I'm still gonna be pissed about that in particular but HOLY SHIT is that stupid. But that's not all that's stupid. More on that later.

Cable's motivations are grief. His hypocrisy is understandable. Killing kids is wrong so I'm gonna kill a kid so he doesn't kill other kids. Why doesn't Russel deserve life? Because he's a mutant? Wow, Thanos is racist AND mutant-phobic! In all seriousness though, all Cable had to do was nothing to prevent his family's death. If he had stayed in the future, nobody would have broken Russel out so there would be no way in hell he'd have killed the headmaster let alone everyone else he did. Although according to the laws of time travel, the timeline Cable came from was the timeline that he went back in time and did everything exactly the way it happened up until Wade took that bullet for Russel. Because that's the moment the teddy bear lost its bloodstain. Because literally not a goddamn thing changed the course of history up until that exact moment, THAT IS THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT IT BUTTERFLY EFFECTED ITS WAY TO HELL AND BACK. Cable's dead family is a direct result of him going back in time to kill Russel to save them and failing miserably. And god I love time travel paradoxes UGH I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH. We have to assume Cable failed and that's why he succeeded. THATS SO FUCKING STUPID.

And you know what else is stupid? Wade made it back to New York after breaking out of DMC. How is that stupid? Well, first of all, the facility wasn't looking for THEIR MOST DANGEROUS INMATE. Black Tom said it himself, Wade is the toughest cunt in there. Although Juggernaut is way more powerful but whatever. More on that later. Anyway, the facility got the riot back on lockdown despite Cable decimating most of the staff, and got everyone in line enough to get them to start convoying to the more secure location. Did they see that Wade was missing and decide "hey, fuck it, what can the literally most unkillable man in the world with the most enormous boner for revenge in the universe POSSIBLY do to us who forced him to slowly die of cancer all over again in a hell prison???" Fucking stupid. Even dumber is the actual X Men themselves not giving a shit that there was an attack on the ice box which is apparently Mike Pence's wet dream, not lifting a finger to so much as offer assistance TO ENSURE THE SAFETY AND REHABILITATION OF ALL OF THE MUTANT INMATES, or even so much as being like "hey guys is Wade doing okay dying from cancer in your Guantanamo Bay?". And dumber still than that is Colossus deciding that Wade deserves to slowly die of cancer since he killed a pedophile who abused a kid so bad he used his powers for destruction and murder and evil and eventually became one of the most deadly sociopathic murderers in the fucked up future world, rationalizing it because Wade broke the rules of being an X-man by killing, even though Wade didn't wanna be an X-man in the first place. Colossus dragged Wade from his suicide directly to the X manor to get his body healed, forced him along to a mission he didn't wanna be a part of, and then punished him for killing a pedophile by forcing him to die slowly from the cancer while getting the shit kicked out of him by convicts. AND THEN WADE APOLOGIZED TO COLOSSUS? ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL HERE? WADE WAS SUICIDAL AND COLOSSUS FORCED HIM INTO PRISON. Bad friend, 0/10.

Seriously, a queer military vet with ptsd and a fucked up past replete with daddy issues who developed cancer and was then tortured by a shadow organization went on a revenge spree followed by a murder spree as a mercenary, and expressed that he's a violent psychopath who won't hesitate to murder sex traffickers or pedophiles or people who threaten his girl, and watched said girl (the only good thing in his fucked up life) die right in his arms immediately after his life was about to go in a good direction and start a family and probably give up all of the murder business and just be the best dad in the world and give a good life to someone to make up for the one he never got himself, did a cocaine bender, and literally committed suicide. But his godforsaken mutation wouldn't let him die, so he couldn't even see his Vanessa again. He clearly has severe clinical depression and needed a FUCKING MENTAL HOSPITAL STAY, not being shoved into a planless feeble attempt to get him to join the Xmen (using him for an extra hand for missions), and he was allowed to BRING THE GUNS, and he was confronted with a physically and sexually abused CHILD with mutant powers he probably didn't ask for that ruined his life and got him sent to Essex, a BIG KNOWN HOTSPOT FOR PEDOPHILES, and he has a big problem with sex criminals (oh yeah and the girl he loved so much he killed himself when she died? sex worker with a life full of being sexually assaulted herself. let alone the fact that wade has been sexually assaulted as well). You take a queer, mentally ill, suffering man and push him past his breaking point, and let him bring guns to a pedophile nest, HE IS GOING TO KILL THE PEDOPHILES. Colossus is a fucking cunt in this situation in every single conceivable fashion. He dragged Wade out of the frying pan, and out of the fire, and into the fucking woodchipper, before stepping on him. The situation is so far behind fucked up that I don't even think the crew fully grasp the full gravity of the situation described. But I digress.

Things weren't all bad from this point on.

The recruitment was funny and full of people. Dopinder's reaction at Peter was amazing and I love him. Domino was fucking phenomenal and I loved her. I knew that everyone else was dead from the moment I saw them, though, but I still loved them anyway. Brad. fucking. Pitt. Great action scene all around. Josh Brolin is just the baddest of asses. Murphy's law is supreme.

Juggernaut's reveal was well done. Still dumb but not quite "AHM THE JUGGANAUT BITCH" dumb. Cool dumb. And then he Megatron'd Wade which was even cooler. I thought Russell joining him was a little dumb but it was quite a callback. Although it begs the question: Wade knew it was foreshadowing something and he knew that Juggernaut existed but he just isn't omniscient and the inconsistency is driving me fucking bonkers. This isnt the Deadpool of the comics. This is the movie Deadpool. And while I do like it I can't say it's without flaws. That's ok but still annoying as fuck. And then more flaws.

It's stupid that Colossus would react the way he did when he learned Wade was back. Well if Colossus was moping about because an entire convoy of mutants literally fucking died except for Juggernaut (PROFESSOR X'S BROTHER IN THIS CHRONOLOGY) and Russell, that's even dumber. If he learned Wade was back at that moment then he's not even paying attention to anything considering Deadpool was out and about. Negasonic and Yukio didn't look too surprised to see him. Lazy writing, lampshades, whatever, blah blah who even fucking cares.

The heroes show up just in time. Shocking. But of course if they didn't it'd be a boring movie.

The action scene was FANTASTIC. It balanced four different fight scenes all at once. Why Jug didn't rip Cable in half like he did Wade I won't ask, maybe because he's half robot I guess idk. Still, Wade/Cable, Domino, and Colossus kicked ass, and Russell's advance to the headmaster was beastly. Julian's acting wasn't the best and neither was Eddie's but I got what they went for and HOLY SHIT THE SCENE IS SO CHILLING, especially for queer youth. Bryan Singer could only dream of that level of subtle analogues.

I thought it was dumb that Cable was all like "if Russell kills then he'll be an evil monster since killing is wrong" even though literally every one of the people there have killed several people that fucking day. Cable killed many, Wade killed many, Domino killed many. Granted they killed mostly pedophiles but they also killed a lot of DMC people & innocent civilians (accidentally). But again he was grieving so whatever.

Negasonic and Yukio had their moment too, I just wish there was more. But that's what the threequel is for. WE WANT MORE LESBIANS!

Wade has balls, I'll give him that. Where he kept that power nullifier I'll never know. [also... fuck that noise. they just have a collar that turns off mutant powers? ORORO WILL HAVE A FUCKIN ANEURYSM. and marie will have an orgasm. for once in her life. hahaha references]. But it was still a great scene. Russell is actually a really good character, if he is a bit Woobie, Destroyer Of Worlds. But I like that trope. Simon from Cry of Fear is one of my favorite characters in that respect; sympathetic even to the very end if he kills Purnell and Sophie (god that monologue is so haunting... "have fun cleaning my brains off the wall. FUCK YOU."). He's basically just a mini Wade but a mutant first. And it allowed Wade to have a defining character moment.

And what a moment. There's a quote that was said about The Princess Bride that I feel works here. It was about the Inigo fight with Rugen. "A comedy is only as strong as the moment when it stops being funny." And the moment when Inigo stabs Rugen, and says "I want my father back, you son of a bitch." is just permanently etched in my mind because the entire movie you watch with a smile up until right at that moment. And when Wade finally bites it, you think "oh, he'll just wake up again and make another joke" but he doesn't. He doesn't move again. He shows up on death's door. And you hear the acoustic version of Take On Me. And he walks through the fog door, and he's got his skin back. He did it, he's finally reunited with Vanessa. And Cable looks away, and you start to piece together where they're going with it, and he goes back, and you wonder wtf is this, and it returns to the present day and Wade digs in the wound AND PULLS OUT THE SKEE BALL TOKEN HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS OH MY GOD THATS THE COOLEST SHIT IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE JESUS CHRIST ON A STICK.

THE ENTIRE ENDING SCENE IS SO ICONIC.

And the whipped cream on top of the sundae is the headmaster getting creamed in the middle of his tirade. And then Dopinder's reaction is the cherry.

After that it kinda does the sappy ending which is fine for what it is. And then it brings in all the fourth wall breaking time travel shenanigans, drenching it in sap and Ryan Reynolds' brains.

The music is just OH MY GOD amazing. Yeah there's the pina colada song and skrillex and celine dion and ac/dc and enya and pat benatar and peter gabriel and cher and steve miller and for some reason diplo/french montana/lil pump but THOSE ARE ALL ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD OKAY???

The movie is chock full of amazing lines.

The fights are all really fluid and visceral.

The cinematography is always on point.

The plot formula is shaken up a little bit.

Several pedophiles die incredibly violently.

ITS A REALLY GREAT MOVIE, FOR REAL.

I'd literally say it's better than the first one.

All of the plot contrivances in the first half are negligible and are barely even problems unless you overanalyze them too much. Like I do.

And I also watched all of the extras... Celine Dion is such a good sport, really, and honestly kind of a dork and super endearing and I love her honestly and think she caught too much flak for being a) a woman b) popular c) in the worst 'romance' movie ever made tifuckintanic god I hate that movie so much despite loving kate winslett, leonardo dicaprio, and james cameron as much as I really loathe to admit it. And Ashes is a really good song.

And I never thought I'd say this but... Lil Pump has really nice flow. I really kinda hope he isn't the dead one. I despise French Montana but I love Sia and by extension Diplo (because LSD), and the song they did for the movie was... bad. But I'll probably be checking out Lil Pump soon.

And anyway the winter solstice mtv unplugged acoustic version of take on me? Beautiful.

I enjoyed this movie a lot, despite the nitpicks.

Thank you Canada. 🇨🇦

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thelapismoon · 6 years

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Song recommendations pls

*cackles* Here’s my ongoing song list that I’ve kept since 2016

Good music1. Fade: No copyright sounds2. Centuries3. Floating block of ice4. The fat rat: unity5. Find the pieces 6. Grand finale: studio killers7. Soren’s theme8. Four Heroes9. Mice on Venus10. Sweden 11. Leap of faith12. Stronger than you13. Fight song14. Say goodbye to the holiday15. Children of the night16. Lullaby for a princess17. Bats18. Credits minecraft story mode 419. Soren jazz20. Soren song21. Doctor who theme22. Bad Apple Music box23. Bow ties are cool24. Don’t blink acoustic 25. Time and relative dimension in space26. Haggard27. Camp fire song song28. Minecraftable 29. The diadem 30. Gravity falls theme31. Hedwigs theme32. Counting stars33. Whatcha say remix34. Riptide 35. I will wait36. Oh Ginny37. Mischief managed38. Gold39. Waiting takes time40. Secrets41. Necessity 42. Enchanted43. I open at the close44. The hanging tree45. Renegades46. Wildest dreams47. Neon Pegasus48. What does the fox say49. Safe and sound50. Game of thrones theme51. Pistols at dawn52. Ex’s and oh’s53. Sorry54. Where are you now 55. Luna’s future56. On the moon thuynder remix57. When I see you again58. Ladybug PV59. It’s gonna work remix60. Moog city61. Maps62. Coffee: Run to me63. Towards the sun Rihanna 64. Dancing in the dark65. Frozen: Elves66. It’s over isn’t it67. Everything stays68. I’m just your problem 69. Abraham’s daughter 70. Eyes open71. Kingdom come72. Most wonderful of nights: feat Luna 73. Aquarius- Within temptations74. Queen of France75. Ride- twenty one pilots76. I’m a star77. Everything’s alright78. From the ground up79. Buying stars80. KING81. Call me home 82. Jump 83. Good little girls bad little boys84. Look up at the sky85. Haunting(haunted house remix)86. 2.7587. Suki no kuimbu 88. C418 Far89. Love like you90. Rurelle war of hearts91. Ghosting92. Echo93. In the dark of the night94. Queen- Stephen Jerzack95. Here96. Coat of many colors97. The plague98. Against the world99. Valley of the dolls100. Hope of morning101. Daughter of the moon102. Heartbeat103. Unknown soldier 104. Waiting for love105. Shatter me106. Ruelle- Monsters107. Megalavonia sans piano108. Smoke and mirrors109. I’d love to change the world110. Villains warriors WIP111. ET Katy perry112. My demons113. Hide and seek114. This will be the day115. This is Halloween116. Life and death and love and birth117. Here comes a thought118. Heathens119. Mcsm soundtrack- Lapis120. The wolf- the cinema121. Miss Jackson122. Dollhouse Melanie Martinez123. Nightmare124. Tag you’re it125. The world is ours126. Ruelle- storm127. More than brains128. Cops and robbers129. Enchanter -dragon age OST130. Once we were- dragon age OST131. Empress of fire132. Francis forever133. Starset it has begun134. I am Lapis Lazuli135. Calls you home 136. I’m so sorry137. Like a vampire138. Partners in Crime139. Wolf in sheep’s clothing140. Stressed out- twenty pilots141. Flares- Newt tribute142. Hall of fame/ The script143. Stronger than you- Chara144. Keaton Henson- You145. Wait for it Hamilton 146. Stay alive- Hamilton147. Destiny Bond148. Cost of the crown.149. Don’t let me down - chai smokers150. Soldiers151. Starry eyed 152. Dragonhearted 153. Car radio- twenty one pilots154. Death by glamour 155. Short hair- Mulan OST156. Blossoms- Mulan OST157. Spider dance 158. This is the hunt159. The battle of Yorktown- Hamilton160. Your obedient servant- Hamilton 161. You’ll be back- Hamilton 162. Youth- troye Sivan 163. Still here164. Move like a soldier165. Something missing166. Who I am167. Marionette doll168. The coven (dark violin)169. Forever and never dark cello170. Fell invincible171. Rise172. So what?173. Freak the freak out174. Nostalgic dream175. Guns and ships176. Bad apple- the dreemurs undertale 177. I found-Amber Run178. I can do anything 179. Red like roses180. It’ll be okay-mlp181. Mirror mirror 182. Warriors- imagine dragons 183. Monster- imagine dragons 184. Bleeding out- imagine dragons185. Ready aim fire- imagine dragons 186. Dream- imagine dragons 187. Rather be188. Crybaby 189. Castle-Alexandria 190. Haunting191. Girls like girls192. Battle against a true hero fan vocal193. Lost in thoughts all alone ft.Milky194. Asgore’s theme w/fan lyrics195. Once upon a December 196. Something that I want197. Into the open air198. What’s the use of feeling blue199. The call200. We all still die201. La da de202. Mordred’s lullaby 203. Pangur Ban204. Mademoiselle Noir205. Witch Hunt- JubyPhonic206. The game of life207. Hather 208. Orisis 209. Oh no- Maria and the diamonds 210. Death should not have taken three211. Cheshire Cat we’re all mad here212. Alice’s theme213. Zettai unmei mokishuraku 214. Your future is not mine215. Boys will be boys216. Little game-Benny217. Son of a preacher man218. Mine- Peridot tribute219. Rude220. I’m a dead girl walkin221. Meant to be yours222. Snow White and the huntsman: breath of life223. Monochrome no kiss224. Believer-Imagine Dragons 225. Lifeboat-Heathers226. Copycat 227. Unravel228. A female ninja but I want to love229. Ten faced 230. Black fox231. Secrets of Wisteria232. Self inflicted achromatic 233. Alive234. Boulevard of broken dreams235. Lunacy of duke vernomia236. Running with the wolves237. Wine red238. Muzzle of nemesis239. Judgement of corruption 240. Evil food eater conchita 241. The tailor shop on enbizaka242. Donald trump vs Hillary Clinton rap243. All DHMIS songs244. Samurai jack theme song245. Megalomaniac vers. asriel and chara246. Journey of the two mages 247. Seven crimes and punishments248. Master of the hellish yard249. A hero’s armor is always Crimson 250. Youth251. The burn marks on my epiano won’t go away252. The little witch 253. Nephthys shadow254. On the wings of night255. Echo- purple guy version256. Anubis chant257. Feathers across the seasons258. Gypsy bard259. Pretty little psycho260. I’m only human261. Revolting children262. Escape of Salmhofer the witch263. The weathered head at onigashima264. Purple265. Can the can266. Deja vu- JubyPhonic 267. Saturn268. Keep the wolves away269. The outsider270. Sorry- seinabo sey271. Pistols at dawn- seinabo sey272. Younger- seinabo sey273. Nostalgia by little note274. Still- seinabo sey275. Another brick in the wall-Pink Floyd276. Paint it black277. No one would miss me278. New Americana279. Clean freak280. Ruby twenty one pilots 281. Rainbows282. Mars- sleeping at last283. Back stabber- Ke$ha284. Woman285. Dead hearts286. Lions- Skip Marley287. Pity party288. Little pistol289. Death of a bachelor290. Don’t mess with me- Temposhark291. When you’re evil- Voltaire292. Entropy- Gretina remix293. The spirit of nostalgia294. Secunda- SkyRim295. Attack on Titan opening theme296. Sippy cup297. First aid kit- Wolf298. Savages-Marina and the diamonds 299. The wolf- Siames300. The hoosiers- killer301. Determination- irresistible cover302. My crush was a monster boy303. Look what you made me do304. American Pie305. Out of sight out of mind306. The killers- somebody told me307. It took me by surprise 308. The night309. Teen idle310. Blue lips311. Rasputin312. It’s all over but the crying313. Take me to church314. This is Gospel 315. The ballad of Mona Lisa316. Fly away317. No control318. Sixteen tons319. Gravel to tempo320. Bee and puppycat space song321. Escapism 322. Seeds of the past323. Open up your eyes 324. Bohemian rhapsody 325. Running- Beyoncé 326. Feelings- Hayley Kiyoko327. Dernière danse- indila 328. I’ll run- Pentatonix 329. American Soul330. French seven crimes and punishments 331. Charming332. In my house333. Project Ma334. Rise- Katy perry 335. Flan- Jake Chudnow336. Try to change- Mother Mother337. Team- lords338. Love story- Indila339. Hadestown- Wedding song340. Hadestown- Why we build a wall341. Arsonists lullaby342. Madness- Ruelle343. The ballad of Sarah Berry344. Cool for the summer- Demi Lovato 345. Leave Luanne346. Coraline theme347. Crave- water parks 348. Rose colored boy

#sorry for my shitty middle school songs #I've been waiting a LONG time to show this

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