#lowkey excited to move sooner rather than later

[mirandaputsherbestbuttforward]

So looks like I’m going to be moving at the start of August rather than the end of the summer, using a uhaul trailer and my grandparents’ truck, then I come back with my best friend before taking a couple days and then driving out there for good, giving myself time to relax and acclimate before my phd program starts

#personal #lowkey excited to move sooner rather than later #also i just bought an Endy mattress for 1k but hey it's a good bed. and it came w two pillows free #just gotta get a frame and bedding still #but ahh like 9 weeks to go hhhh

[acphengene]

Chapter 11 - Go on darling (written)

₊ ⁺ pairing: Jay x fem!reader

₊ ⁺ genre: brothers bestfriend!au, college!au, neighbors/strangers to lovers!au

₊ ⁺ warings: mild angst, lowkey parent manipulation, sibling death, strong and suggestive language, smut

₊ ⁺ synopsis: you move from sydney australia to seoul to get your degree, what will happen when you spill coffee on a handsome stranger?

₊ ⁺ taglist: open - updates every monday and friday - might update on other times if i want a chapter out sooner rather than later

₊ ⁺ word count: 3,8k

₊ ⁺ note: our first written chapter! it's the only one for a while, so i really hope you enjoy it.

<- previously - masterlist - next ->

You had posted the photo of your dress on instagram, and stood in the bathroom of your apartment, biding your lip in suspense. 

You hoped that he wouldn’t see it. You hoped that you got to see his face as his eyes landed on you for the first time, wearing one of your own creations. And for a few seconds you considered if it were better to delete the photo. 

Incredibly enough you felt relaxed and ready for a night wearing the highest of heels. It felt like you had been running around after the guys, steaming shirts, finding jewelry, styling hair. Normally this work would’ve been one for a small army, but you had a vision, and for that to come true, you needed to be the one to do this. 

A small knock on the bathroom door pulled you from your daydreams of how the night might progress. You hoped that your hard work would pay off, and that people would compliment the guys for their looks. and you hoped you might get a chance to dance with a certain heir. 

“Can I come in?” Jungwoon asked through the door. 

You felt how you were suddenly very aware of the design you had made, you were suddenly aware of all the hours you had spent over these last few weeks, and how afraid you were that people wouldn’t find the dress as beautiful as you did. 

“It’s open!” You called back as you decided to figure out what earrings would look good with your updo. It was a desperate attempt to keep yourself busy as her friend entered the room. 

The door slowly crept open, and the catlike man suddenly stood in its opening. 

“Oh…” he almost whispered as you came into view, but the sound was still loud enough for you to hear. 

You looked at him, worry painted all over your face. Was it too much? Was it not enough? Did it hug your figure in all the wrong places? Did you need to get rid of the gloves?

He caught on instantly, and sent a huge smile your way, one that quickly calmed your beating heart. You had never been more beautiful than you were right now, and he had never been prouder of you. 

The four of you all matched. It had been your intention that you would all look like you’d belong together, like pieces of a puzzle. But was it too obvious? Maybe not even obvious enough that all the pieces belonged to the same ‘mini collection’. 

“You look so beautiful” he walked towards you and before you knew it he had pulled you in for a hug. “God damn you’re talented!” He almost screamed. 

You heard the sudden movements of your two other besties' bodies, one clearly falling off the couch, and before you knew it, they were standing in the door opening to the bathroom. 

“Oh wow!” Sunoo said with huge eyes, his hands slowly creeping up to cover his shocked face. 

Niki didn’t speak per say, he just took you in, analyzing the design of the dress with a sly smile on your lips. 

“Everyone is gonna fall in love with you tonight” He then said, a smile reaching his eyes as he pulled Sunoo close to his chest in pure excitement. The two of them couldn’t help the laugh that escaped them. 

“Well we better get going. We don't wanna be late!” You said and hurried past the three men, all of them following close behind, making sure that they didn’t step on the trail of your dress. 

_____ 

Before you knew it you had arrived at the gala. It was a private event, only a few paparazzis and journalists were allowed out front. Still you couldn’t help the constant bounce of your legs as you were sitting in the limousine, waiting to be dropped off. 

Jungwoon laid one of his hands on your knee to calm it. “You need to stop doing that.” He had always found it incredibly annoying whenever you began, but he also understood that it was a way for you to calm your own nerves. 

You nodded, and he sent you a small smile for reassurance. Hoping it was enough for you to finally calm down a little

“It might be your first red carpet, but something tells me it won't be your last” Niki said, as he offered you his arm to hold, right before the door of the limo was opened. He had always been your biggest cheerleader, and in some ways you saw the younger man more as a brother than as a friend. 

“Don’t focus on the lights, if you do they’ll end up blinding you” he whispered in your ear, right before the lights started flashing.  

People were yelling at Niki, yelling at you, yelling at the boys, bombarding you all with questions. And for the first few seconds you found it hard to focus. But as soon as Jungwoon had offered you his other arm to hold, you felt more relaxed, and decided you might as well enjoy the moment. 

Before you knew it, Niki had given you to Sunoo, separating the two of you from one another. He sent you an apologetic smile and said: “I’ll have an interview in a few, so I’ll see you guys inside okay?” You saw a flash of worry in his eyes, but you quickly gave his hand a little squeeze of reassurance. 

“See you inside,” Sunoo said as he sent Niki a smile that was quickly returned.  

“Don’t worry, I’ll sing your praises to anyone who asks me who I’m wearing!” He yelled as he neared the red carpet stairs that led to the entrance. And before you could even answer him, he was halfway to the top, the lights following him wherever he went. 

Niki had been born for the spotlight. He somehow fitted in on this red carpet. It was as much a performance for him as being on stage was. 

You posed for a few photos with your best friends, and before you knew it, you were completely content being the focus of all the blinding lights. Especially when your biggest supporters were right there with you. Making you smile and laugh through it all. 

“Let’s go” Jungwoon said, and the two men started leading you towards the tall stairs, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. 

As soon as you were able to see the doors you spotted him. There he was, as beautiful as ever. 

His hair was dark and swept away from his face, leaving his forehead exposed with just a strand of hair out of place. His lips were curled in a smile as he looked at his father who was speaking to a journalist. 

Him and his parents stood a few meters closer to the door, cameras and microphones and phones all looking in their direction, all trying to get the latest scoop on one of Korea’s most influential families. It suited him somehow, this life. Like Niki, he belonged here. 

He knew you were there before your eyes had found him. It was as if the air had shifted around him. As if he was gravitating towards you, but he had decided not to scout for you before he knew you were closer. 

As you stood tall, on the arms of your best friends he finally allowed himself to look at you, instead of just admiring what he could out of the corner of his eye but he quickly realized that had been a mistake. 

In the middle of a sentence his trail of thought completely stopped. You now occupied every cell of his body, and the only reason he was still breathing was because his heart had to keep beating for you. 

He could hear how the now panicked journalist tried capturing his attention, he could feel how his parents too had turned their heads to figure out just what had stolen his attention. 

“Excuse me” was all he could utter, and he had quickly left his parents behind for the sudden appearance of this mystery woman. 

He stopped before you and the boys, his eyes never leaving yours, a bright pink coloring his cheeks. Cute. 

He didn’t trust himself enough to utter a single word, instead he took a bow, it was deep, it was respectful. And it hid his face from you for just a second, and he hoped that would be enough for him to pull himself together. 

You saw how the lights of the cameras started flashing even brighter, and if to protect you Sunoo took a step forward and gave him what most would most likely call a bro hug, and soon after Jungwoon did the exact same thing. You could see the hesitation in his movements as he tried to decide how to greet you. 

He wanted to do something personal, and if it were up to him he had swept you up into his arms and taken you somewhere, where the two of you could finally be left alone. Somewhere he could finally lose himself in you.  

You decided the best course of action might just be a small wave, it was simple, and in the end it didn’t draw too much attention to the two of you.

But before you got a chance to do exactly that, one of his arms snaked around your waist and pulled you close. His lips then rested for no more than a millisecond on your cheek, it was so fast, so fleeting that you for a second doubted if it even happened. 

“I’m glad you guys could make it” his eyes were scanning the boys outfits. “You all look absolutely amazing,” he said as he slowly let go of your waist. 

If it was up to him, he would keep his arm snaked around you all night long

His eyes sparkled, and he knew exactly why that was. He had come to realize that it had everything to do with you. 

“It's all thanks to this one!” Jungwoon said as his arm snaked around your shoulders, pulling you a little closer. Jay smiled in response to the friendly gesture. 

“You really did an amazing job Y/N…” Once again he completely forgot what to say as his eyes caught yours. 

“Thank you” you said, as your chest filled with pride over his praise. For some reason it felt special coming from him. He was still just a stranger, but he was one with class and style. 

“I better get back to my parents, I’ll see you guys inside when I’m done” 

He turned around and walked away from you, shaking his limbs in the hopes that it would make your lingering perfume disappear from his suit. 

“That went better than expected…” Sunoo said, but your eyes couldn’t concentrate on anything but him as he walked away. 

“Do you think we need to carry her inside? I mean she’s practically pudding in his hands, I’m not really convinced her legs will be able to carry her” Jungwoon said, earning him a laugh from Sunoo and a hit of his arm from you. 

The inside of the building was magnificent, perfectly lit with candles everywhere. Tables were scattered all over the place. The sudden fear of being seated with people you didn’t know hit you, but being your brother's sister, you hope that meant you would be well taken care off. 

“Y/N!” You heard your brother call out for you, and you quickly found him seated in a bar with what you could only assume was the remaining men of his friend group. 

They were both handsome, they both radiated power and money. But their eyes were kind, just like your brothers, and just like Jays. 

You sat down between your brother and Sunghoon, as Sunoo and Jungwoon quickly started a conversation with Heeseung. 

“So you’re the little sister huh?” Sunghoon said, a smirk painted on his lips as his eyes scanned your figure in the sparkling dress, and unlike when his friend looked at you, you suddenly felt the need to cover up. 

“I am” you said, trying your best to seem as confident as possible. Jake laughed at the little powerplay that was unfolding before him. He knew both of you well. Sunghoon wasn’t one to give up without a fight, and you had to be one of the most stubborn people he had ever met. 

“Hoon if you’re hitting on my sister we’re gonna have a problem” Jake then said, as he sent a wink your way. 

You returned it with a little chuckle. He had always done that, protected you from the men of the world, especially if those men were his friends. He was the protector your father never was, he was the most important part of your family. 

He quickly raised his hands in defeat. Laughing at your brother. 

“Why is your bestie calling me over?” Jake then said with furrowed brows, right before he drowned the last of his champagne. 

You turned towards the large dancefloor, and saw Niki waving your brother over. You knew exactly what that was about, and you couldn’t help but smile. 

“How should I know I know, Niki can be a little all over the place, but maybe don’t let him wait? He’s talking to Min Yoongi after all” you said and quickly saw the panic in your brother's eyes. 

“See you guys later!” he almost yelled as he ran towards the youngest of your friends, leaving the spot next to you free. Sunghoon was quick to grab the seat, forcing your attention to be on him alone as he was now seated next to the wall. 

He liked to hold the sole attention of the women he talked to. Even the ones who were forbidden fruit. Hell, that made it even better if you asked him. Despite his fuckboy tendencies Sunghoon was more loyal than most when it came to his friends, he would never dare to pursue you if Jake had told him no. But the spark in you had caught his attention. 

He didn’t really know why, he only knew that there had to be a reason for it. 

“It’s a lovely dress” he said and took in the sight of the fabric clinging to your curves, this time admiring the design instead of the body the fabric was hiding for the world. 

“Thank you” you answered and let your hands run down your thighs, desperate to soothe yourself. 

The ballroom was cold, and the lack of both a coat and alcohol in your system definitely didn’t help. And Sunghoon made you nervous. 

Sunghoon couldn’t help but chuckle. He stood up to remove his jacket, but it was as if something caught his attention, freezing him in his place. 

You didn’t dare to turn around, whatever wordless conversation he was having, it seemed private, and you didn’t want to disturb it. 

Jay had caught his best friend's eyes. And Sunghoon could almost feel how his twin flames heart fell, at the sight of him wanting to drape his jacket over your shoulder. At no point did Jay look at his friend, his eyes were only focused on you. 

Sunghoon saw how he instinctively had started removing his own suit jacket, how he had left the conversation he was having behind, without any regards for the old and dusty CEO’s that tried to capture his attention. You were all he saw, so he backed down, and instead just held on to his jacket, telling you a lie about how the champagne had made him feel hot.  

He couldn’t help but smile and shake his head at his best friend. That fucking idiot. He thought to himself. 

“Jay” he said, as his friend was standing directly behind you. 

“Hey” Jay answered. 

Sunghoon then saw how your eyes found his friends as soon as he entered your vision. He saw the involuntary way you started smiling, how your whole demeanor became more relaxed as soon as Jay's signature scent of ‘black orchid’ hit the two of you. 

“May I?” he asked as he towered over you, and looked at his suit jacket, signaling his intentions. 

“Please” you answered. It was no more than a whisper, some might even have called it a whimper, and Jay felt how his heart started beating even faster than it had just done, and his cheeks were once again painted with a subtle pink color. 

Sunghoon couldn’t help but roll his eyes, and chuckle silently at the sugarsweet interaction that was happening before him. 

You loved the way Jay’s heavy suit jacket surrounded you. You loved how the smell of him suddenly was the only thing your senses could pick up on. 

Jay smiled at you, hands lingering on your shoulders. Sunghoon just stood there observing the two of you. He didn’t dare breathe, he had a feeling that that was all it would take for the two of you to retreat back to the people who had already decided they were gonna close off their hearts for one another. 

“Y/N, this is Sunghoon,” Jay said, finally acknowledging his best friend. “He’s my best friend” 

Sunghoon smiled at his words; “don’t forget the love of your life” 

Jay laughed, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sound. 

“We all need one of those,” you stated.

Sunghoon couldn’t help but feel relieved by your words. His worst fear had always been that Jay would end up with someone who didn’t quite understand the bond that the two boys had. But if you did, and if Jay did in fact want you as bad as Sunghoon expected, he would move heaven and earth to help the two of you. 

“We do, don’t we?” he said and patted his best friend on the shoulder and then suddenly pulled him in for a hug. 

“It’s her, isn’t it?” Sunghoon whispered in his ear. 

Jay pulled away a little and looked at him with big and choked eyes. 

“Don’t you dare lie to me Jongseong. I’ll always keep your secrets. But I think you might need to prepare her, your parent are walking over here as we speak” 

Sunghoon quickly smiled at you and then excused himself. 

“He’s something else” you stated and couldn’t help but chuckle. 

Earning you an instant smile. 

“He really is,” he responded. 

Then he stretched his arm out, offering his hand to you. You took it and looked at him with skeptic eyes. 

“What are we doing now Park?” you asked, as you got on your feet. The height of your heels prevented him from towering over you, instead you were able to look directly into his eyes. 

“Well don’t freak out now, but my parents are on their way over here, and I thought my mother deserves to see the dress that you’ve made” once again his eyes were sparkling as he looked at you. And you couldn’t help but think that you could get used to him looking at you like that. 

And then the severity of his words hit you. His mother. She was a talented business woman, a designer, and your all time idol, and here you were, sitting with her son's jacket flung over your shoulders as you smile as an absolute idiot and cling to his every word. 

“Shit!” you whisper yell as you pull off his jacket as fast as you possibly can, and throw it back in his face. 

The jacket hit Jay in the face, and he couldn’t help the surprised laugh that escaped him as he pulled it from his face. He just looked at you with complete shock and admiration. 

His father then coughed to capture his son's attention, an accomplishment that hadn’t been easy that night. 

“Mother, father, allow me to introduce you to Sim Y/N, Jake's sister” he said, eyes never leaving you. 

You bowed at the two parents, one they returned quickly. 

“Your Jaeyun’s sister! How come we’ve never met you dear?” his mother said and gave you a polite hug, as she kissed each of your cheeks in a greeting. 

“Y/N just recently moved back here from Australia” Jay answered on your behalf. 

“I’m pretty sure the woman can speak for herself Jong” his mother then said, as she sent her son a look. 

You laughed. 

“Ah let him be a gentleman in front of her my love” his father then said as he pulled his wife a little closer as she rolled her eyes at her husband. 

“Your gown is exquisite Y/N” his mother then stated as she looked you up and down, taking in all the little detail and the fine hand stitching. 

You felt the instant heat in your cheeks, and your eyes quickly found the floor, afraid to meet her eyes. 

“Thank you, so much… it means a lot coming from you!” you said as you once again bowed. One that the host once again returned this time with the kindest of smiles. 

“It’s her own creation mother, Jake encouraged her to give it a go when I invited her and her friends” Jay then said. 

His mother saw how her son stood a little taller when he talked about you, she saw how his hand involuntarily stretched every tenth second, as if he was trying to suppress the urge to take yours. And the actions brought a smile to her lips. 

“Well sweetheart, you need to tell me all about your creative process!” she then said. 

You bit your lip, a trait it seemed that you shared with your brother, and looked at the beautiful man who stood by your side. He felt pride in his chest. He felt at home with you so close to him. 

“Go on, darling” he didn’t catch the pet name before it had already rolled off his tongue. 

He wanted to curse at himself, he wanted to take it back at once. But when he saw how your eyes suddenly got bigger, how the words were suddenly caught in your throat and how you fluttered your lashes at him, he knew that he would call you darling for as long as you would allow him. 

His mother then took your arm and let you away from her son, generally wanting to get to know the young woman who had captured her son's eye. 

His father laughed as the two women left them alone. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this, Jong,” he said. 

“Like what?” Jay said, and looked at his father with a raised brow, once again pulling his jacket back on. 

He laid a hand on his only son's shoulder, much like Sunghoon had done earlier. “You look at her, the same way I looked at your mother when I first met her…” 

Jay laughed, “dad, please stop. It’s not like that” it was now his fathers turn to laugh. 

“Oh but it is, don't deny it, and most importantly, don’t let her go because you’re afraid” 

He then left his son alone with his thoughts.

________

₊ ⁺ Taglist: @addictedtohobi @deobitifull

(please like and reblog the post, it means the world to me, my ask is also always open for feedback or theories)

#jay #jongseong #jay social media au #jongseong social media au #enhypen social media au #Sunghoon fluff #Jake fluff #Niki fluff #Jay imagines #enhypen text au #enhypen sm au #enhypen social au #enhypen jeongseong #jay smut #enhypen #Heeseung fluff #Jay angst #engene #jay fluff #jayhoon #jay x reader #heeseung #sunghoon #jungwon #niki #riki #park jongseong #yang jungwon #lee heeseung #enhypen x reader

[hvnnypot]

—— look who’s joining the infinite tour! only FIONA TAKAGI, who is the TOUR CHEF. i’ve heard whispers that the 26 year old is pretty PRAGMATIC but lowkey CAGEY. also, doesn’t she remind you of HIRAI MOMO ?  

i apologize in advance if this intro is choppy at all ! i wanted to get something up sooner rather than later and this is what came out, but we’re not gonna sweat the small stuff rn 😅 i’m gabi and i’m bringing you my slightly withholding survivalist chef, fiona ! she takes care of preparing nutritious meals for the tour acts so that they don’t have to solely rely on fast food, but she also throws in a little unhealthy, comforting taste of home from time to time, because what the staff doesn’t know won’t kill them ;) there are some bullet points on her below, as well as some stats here. i’m awful at making plot pages, but i’d love to brainstorm with you lovelies, or i can even offer her up for one of your opens ! either way, if you just drop a like on this post, i’ll slide into your dms, or you can reach me on discord @ * ꒒ ꒩ ꒦ ꒰ .#7915 !

fiona is originally from alaska, the daughter of two first generation japanese immigrants. she also has two older brothers who were always super overprotective of her, to the point where it got on her nerves in a big way.

while the family initially started out in anchorage, a city of conveniences, they soon moved to the much more remote town of seward, flanked by mountains and wilderness.

it was here that fiona’s inner grit truly flourished. her father was an avid outdoorsman, and the rest of her family were no slouches either. they would often camp in the alaskan wilderness, living off the land and traversing the terrain with skill. they were survivors who didn’t need anything that wasn’t within their small town and the mountains that protect it.

it was safe to say that the family’s world was really small, but fiona didn’t know to want for more, at least not yet...

she’d often take on the duty of preparing the family’s meals over makeshift campfires, and cooking became one of the many fascinations she held. she wanted to explore it in more diverse ways, but her family’s lifestyle didn’t offer many opportunities for that.

her parents decided to allow her to attend the simple cooking lessons that were being offered in town since she seemed to enjoyed the activity so much, and she was absolutely hooked after the first class.

fiona begged her mother to allow her homeschooling to start including a bit of cooking on the side, even if it had to replace outside playtime. it was a sure sign of how much she loved the craft, as she typically wouldn’t pass up a chance to head outside into the wild.

the day finally came where her parents knew they had to let fiona spread her wings. she was done with high school, and it was time to start figuring out the next chapter, but they didn’t exactly count on their daughter already having the answer.

there was a culinary academy in new york that would be offering celebrity chef master classes, and all she had to do to ensure her entry was to impress with an admissions video.

fiona detailed the origins of her cooking passion; all the rustic meals she’d prepared at campsites, or off the sides of dangerous hiking trails. she recorded the blizzards she and her family hiked through, or the peaceful nights they shared by glacial lakes with the magnificence of snow capped mountains behind them.

the admissions board must have been moved in some way, because she eventually got her acceptance letter a few weeks later. she was excited, nervous, confident and terrified all at once. leaving her small town would be a new experience altogether, but she was ready.

or, at least she thought she was. fiona spent several months wondering whether alaska and manhattan were even on the same planet. her simple, inexpensive fashion sense didn’t fly at the academy. she was expected to look professional and well groomed, and it wasn’t exactly her forte. 

thankfully, one of the older students helped her out, taking her to get a far more sensible wardrobe for the task at hand. it was the first friend she’d made outside of seward, really.

fiona began to experiment with all sorts of things now that she had that little taste of freedom. she tried makeup, which she wound up really enjoying and wearing more often. she dabbled with different types of fashion via borrowing clothes from her friends. she even put a few notches in her bedpost, which she arguably enjoyed the most but i’m not gonna out her like that it’s rude

she rose to the occasion when it came to the challenges associated with the culinary program — and some of her instructors were absolutely ruthless — mostly due to the grit and determination that had been absorbed from growing up with her family. she became known as ‘the untouchable one’, never breaking down in class or cracking under the pressure. other students either wanted to befriend her for her composure, or were slightly intimidated by her.

the chefs and instructors were highly impressed however, and fiona became one of their top students once she completed the course. one of the chefs who had taught at the academy offered her an apprenticeship in which the two would travel around a bit and fiona would receive onsite training in various countries.

after multiple stints in places like france, india and even japan (which was fiona’s most loved portion of the apprenticeship tbf) the two finally parted ways in south korea, leaving fiona to truly fend for herself now. she let the job hunt last awhile, cooking in local eateries to earn a temporary living until she found something more permanent.

she eventually stumbled upon a rather unconventional offer; there’d be a massive world tour comprised of different kpop acts, the kind of thing that sounded like a license to print money to be honest, and the tour was in need of a chef to provide healthy food for the talent and crew.

fiona took the leap and interviewed for the job, and the rest is kinda history ! this is her first major job, but she never really looks at anything with that much emphasis. it’s just another challenge she’s gonna slam dunk !

she is far less socially inept now than she was living back home, even though she still does have that restless caginess about her that can come off as icy at first. she really is just a rather capable goofball once you get to know her. 

she loves to go hiking when the tour arrives in a new city and explore any wilderness in the area if she has the time to. you might lose her in a tree or two bc she is a natural born climber. truly my baby wild thing ৎ୭

100% doesn’t know she’s hot WRVEVRWVE

sorry this was so long, but let’s get somethin’ goin’ gang !!

#infinite:intro #𓏲 ՞ ˖ ☆ 𓂃◞ intro . * #sorry it takes me fIVE YRS to write an intro

[messwriting]

Written for The Smut Pile Collab: Western AU | MASTERLIST HERE.

(i'm gonna make you) feel it

a.k.a. ✨ MAKKI’S ADVENTURE TIME ✨

Hanamaki “Big Tease” Takahiro x Female Reader

Rating: E for explicit | Don’t read this if under eighteen.

Warnings: Porn With Plot. Corruption Kink. Reader’s engaged to be married - a bride. Cheating. Highly inappropriate touching and dancing moves (that’s their job tho). Alcohol. Completely unresearched strippers industry. Lowkey exhibitionism. Fucking in a public space (private room). Fingering. Oral sex. SMUT: Doggy style over a sofa. Makki’s a little shit. Overuse of the word “cute” (for real, so many times omg). 

Word count: ~7.3k

Note: Saint Dymphna and poor little me would like to introduce you all to the:  🤠 LAWBREAKERS MULTIVERSE 🤠

So, @dymphnasprose​ basically came at me with: “what about we take cowboys and make them skskskskskssk like magic mike style strippers” and thus was born the wicked duo newest adventure. We had a lot of fun (and a lot of panic) but here it is!  Anyone asks why I’m doing two once again it’s also dymph’s fault and my sheer love for Iwaizumi. Also, dymph I love u and I’ve had lots of fun doing this little group project together🥺💕

That being said I’d also like to thanks @mixedhell  who once again is a mage of dialogue and helped me several times; Tay, my love @deathcab4daddy​, who helped beta part of this and also @xmyshya​ who was kind enough to beta this too <3

Makki’s songs: Cowboy Casanova (dymph’s courtesy) + Feel it 

You can also read: IWAIZUMI | MATTSUN 

Hanamaki is focused.

He surveys the screaming crowd inside the packed nightclub, sees the different groups occupying the big booths, the pretty decorations that never fail to distinguish his targets inside the dimly lit room. 

Makki likes the meaning behind the different outfits and colors; the details merging into the allegory of remarkability, crafting the idea of uniqueness in their special day where screams of freedom swimming inside intoxicated heads build a tendency into wildness. In building lasting memories of a singlehood that doesn’t really exist anymore, into falling prey of sexy, large men who could take them into a one-time intoxicating memory that they can savor into the end of times.

Marriages can end, Makki thinks, but memories like the ones he makes are forever.

And tonight he has already found the one. 

You must be the prettiest little thing he has seen in months, all beautifully clad in a sparkling white party dress, a sexy slit that shows the classical frilly garter adorning your thigh, with a golden black banner that announces for the whole world that you’re taken, soon to be married and enjoying your bachelorette party. It’s almost a challenge, really. 

Great. That’s exactly how he likes it.

A brilliant and ridiculous white cowboy hat decorated to leave a tacky gown falling from your head is perched on the table where your small group sits, about eight women dressed in black and a beautiful entourage of bridesmaids if he ever saw one, but it’s you; cute, happy little you who blushed at the very first look at his partially naked torso when all Hanamaki did was pass by your table in his low cut jeans and open flannel shirt, a tilt of his cowboy hat made with half a mind to compliment the ladies until his eyes laid on you. 

Your bright eyes had shined with embarrassment at your interest, chest filling with a renewed pull of air at the mere sight of him, a burning in your face that he could notice even in the poorly lit room, flashing lights giving him just the best of peeks -- your plush lips punished by the row of white teeth that closed around the soft muscle and pulled. 

That was all he needed, the smallest of sights and still, the biggest of hints. 

You were going to be his tonight. He’ll taint that pristine white and you’ll beg for his every move, he knows it just as he knows the women will scream for him as soon as he steps on the stage.

And, in fact, that will be sooner rather than later. 

He’ll make sure of it. 

The loud music is pulsing through his body, like waves crashing against his skin, his heart seemingly beating alongside the bass in deep, sexy strokes of the R&B music echoing through the club. The youngsters are doing their dance, a coordinated thing between the six newbies of the Club, while Makki and Mattsun wait by the side of the backdoor of the stage, ready to take their places in the next performance. 

“Anyone in your sights yet?” Issei asks him as he passes him the bottle of water, which Takahiro puts on top of one of the structures before sending a small grin at the dark-haired man. They’ve been here for four years now, and they have joined the place together, looking to make a good buck while going to College. Stripping is fun, easy, and profitable when you’re young and hot and Matsukawa and Hanamaki are nothing else but. 

“The one by the left, the table with the tacky cowboy hat and the golden balloons.”

“A fan of the work, I see.” Matsukawa pulls the curtain to the side just an inch, his eyes quickly surveying the space and centering on the acquired target. Makki knows exactly what he’s seeing, a table filled with a group of beautiful women and you in white shining over them all, the balloons above the wall seeming way more ridiculous once he knows about Makki’s plan of action. 

One dick for life. Ha. 

“Poor little thing doesn’t know what she’s in for tonight.” Mattsun’s grin is mischievous and all-knowing. Hanamaki has a type, it’s a running joke, but every good joke starts from a glimmer of truth. And in Makki’s case, it may as well be the truth itself. 

“And that’s a sexy little group.”

“Yeah, it is. But you already have plans for tonight, don’t you. I’ve heard about it from Oikawa.”

Mattsun doesn’t answer, only a chuckle and a lopsided grin marking his face as he keeps studying the crowd.

The group performance wraps up quickly, being one without public interaction and soon enough Oikawa is making a show, threading between the public with his mic, hyping the crew out with just the right few words. 

The lights start going down, softly casting the audience in shadows while the stage is tinged in bright colors before becoming red and by the time people’s eyes are focusing at the center again, Hanamaki and Matsukawa have taken their places.

The music starts to play, soft and calm, pulsing through the bodies of everyone as their eyes focus on the attractive duo in center stage. They’re not supposed to end up naked yet, that’s saved for the end, but as the choreography flows, sharp hip movements, thrusting motions like ocean waves crashing on rocky shores, still get women screaming at the top of their lungs enough for it all to merge with the song as if it’s part of the original bass. 

Makki’s wearing a half-opened plaid flannel shirt with nothing under it, and he pops every remaining button open along to the song, the screams getting louder. His jeans are tight enough that every plane of muscle is noticeable, and his belt is black and striking, with a big, bull-shaped buckle. Later he’ll change his outfit to leather chaps and a vest, but right now, he’s more laid back. He looks good, he knows it, but the appreciation in your eyes as you coily drink his from from across the room is like a fucking golden star on his pride.

On top of his head, locked tight, it’s his pinched front cowboy hat. As Makki throws it in the air and catches in the middle of dancing, the screams engulf him from all sides. 

But everything else is fading to the back of his mind as his eyes find yours in the dark, the appreciative, enthralled shine in them not lost to Makki. Could never be lost to Makki, who holds onto it as if it’s a life-line; You’re interested.

Ok, that’s good. But it’s also the basics.

Makki twirls and fall on the floor, hips fucking into nothing as the crowd goes insane. He kneels on stage, his shirt flying to the spectators; two women take hold of it, pulling in contrary directions until it rips.

Makki throws you a wink, every woman in that direction claiming it as theirs. You, however, shrug into yourself, eyes looking away as your hands tight their hold around the champagne glass they’re holding. You’re so cute, hands in front of your face as if that would keep you from staring. Makki feels himself glowing, growing excited at the mere sight of your scurrying eyes as they choose the floor instead of his body. 

So fucking pure. 

Takahiro wants to force you to look up and revel in the guilty desire he’s bound to find there. There’s no need to avoid him if he doesn’t charm you, that’s the beauty of soon-to-be brides. There’s such a deep will inside them to be faithful to the allegory of a husband they do not have yet, lost in a daydream of happiness in finding the one when they haven’t even tasted anything but. Makki eyes the golden balloons floating around the table while he dances -- one dick forever. 

Poor little thing. He can’t let that happen, can he?

When Makki hops off the stage and walks over to your table between deafening screamings and pleads for him to take them, instead, his hand closes around your dainty little one, adorned with pretty french nails and just a single golden ring and even the soft, smooth skin of your hand against his rugged palm is a thrill inside his veins.

Your eyes are shining, nervousness sweeping from them as they lock with his. Hanamaki tries to be lowkey, giving you a reassuring smile supposed to be nice, to be trusting -- a complete disconnect of the way his guts stirs in the excitement of your touch. 

He lowers his lips to your ears, pretends the way his nose runs over the shell is a mere accident. “Let’s go for a ride, sweetheart.”

Your lips fall open by the side of his face and Makki can feel the way you suck a breath, a little gasp ruining your efforts when he lets his lips brush against your jaw. Another accident, whoops. He’s such a careless boy, isn’t he?

Your teeth punish your bottom lip as your eyes seem to look anywhere but him, trembling hands as you seem half-way into telling him no. Makki can't have that, though. He brings his face to look deep in your eyes, a lopsided smile he can manoeuvre into being just the right amount of kind by now. 

"You're not gonna let me go up there alone, will you?" He almost pouts, big hands finding their way on your arms in up and down motions that drag just the right amount of trembles from you for him to know he's winning. "There's no fun without you, sweet girl."

He dips his lips onto the shell of your ear once again, just in time to hide his mischief. "You're the star of the show. I'm just your ride." 

That seems to make you giggle and Makki uses that to bring his grin into your view, palms sliding down your arms to clasp your hands and - finally - guide you up with him.

One thing Makki knows is that he likes his brides sweet. 

Pliant. 

And as you get up and follow him quietly and sheepish, clumsy tripping over yourself when some of your bridesmaids erupt in cheers, he knows he is right once again -- you’re just his type. 

Thing is, Makki doesn’t waste time. He makes you twirl in your high heels just to have you falling in his arms, he picks you up without effort, a little gasp breaching your lips as your hands plant against his chest.

Makki just has to grin at the way in which you close your palms and retreat them back to yourself, quick, burning up in a beautiful, delicious expression of shame. Fuck, he wants to make you beg. 

When he’s at the stage, he drops you on your feet with enough aggression to get you to slide straight to the floor, unsteady knees opening under you until your ass is planted on the stage. 

Makki thinks your open mouthed expression, little breaths breaking through your lips as your anxious eyes stare up at him, have to be the best thing he’s seen in a while. And he’s just starting.

He bends at the waist, his hands to reach your knees and push them open, your bright little white dress sliding up so much he can steal a peek at your fancy underwear. 

Such a vixen, aren’t you? All wrapped in lace. 

Makki lets himself fall on top of you and you gasp, even as he stays holding himself in a plank, not one bit of skin touching yours. The song is pumping, slow and sexy even if the screams sound louder in the close space. He twists his hips, the rolling motion has them right between your juicy thighs. You’re forced to keep them wide open and the way in which you look mortified just may be what ends him. 

Makki drops his knees in the ground, lets the screams wash over him as he drags his hips against your center, soft, then hard. His hands by the side of your head, his toned chest right in front of your face. He knows by the way his skin burns that you’re staring at him -- good, he wants to be the center of all your attention tonight.

Your hands are in front of yourself as if you’re afraid at your own excitement, eager eyes looking for his in a wirlwind of emotions and it makes his fucking skin erupt with goosebumps that the most noticiable one is desire.

Oh, Makki’s going to wreck you. The song turns frantic just as he comes to slide over your body, nose trailing along your collarbone and chest, teeth nipping at your clothes as if he would prefer to be doing it to your skin instead, and he feels the way your shame almost consumes you, body shaking as he finally reaches destination: right above your beautiful open thighs, so close he can almost taste you.

Unfortunately, it doesn't last. And Makki is forced by the choreography to climb back up your body even as he lets his hands linger a bit too close to your clothed center, every woman around screaming as if they can read his mind.

He gets back up and kneels between your open legs, thrusting in time with the music as if he’s actually still thinking about choreography and not in doing this to you later. You’re growing more embarrassed by the moment, your whole body burning and tense, but responsive to his movements and, better yet, his smiles.

His body is used to the motions, to swirling and grinding and thrusting in a wave motion, crashing over your hips time and time again until your lips fall open, and he knows he hit the jackpot.

Makki holds himself in a plank again, his skin turning clammy with the exertion, but he angles his crotch just right and has you singing a groan for him again -- then turning bright with shame in sequence.

Such a precious little thing indeed.

The ground choreo ends way too soon for Makki’s wishes, but he’s soothed by the way in which you let yourself be picked up, hands clinging to his shoulders with such a fierce hold he almost wants to test it out. He throws you up for a moment, relishes in your nails at his back, and his forearms hold you by the underside of your knee, closing on your hips. 

And that makes your pretty little clothed cunt roll right against his semi-hard on. There’s a ripping sound, probably your slit getting wider to acomodate your open legs and thus, him.

Lovely.

Makki rolls his hips, right against your center once, and the crowd erupts in screams just as he starts mimicking fucking you standing. A beautiful option he saves in the back of his mind for later. 

You let out a yelp, then proceed to try and hide your head against his neck, your pretty mouth gliding against his skin gives him such a high he almost loses the tempo of the song. He tells you to hold on and plants his hands on your bare ass, lifting you until he can have you in front of his face, a bit uncomfortable move but one that has every single woman in the club wet -- it’s in the air by now, and he can smell it. The idea makes his skin prickle, your hands holding his hair for dear life as if you’re afraid to fall, but your clothed cunt is right there, and he can’t pass the opportunity to steal a little touch as he pretends your hold is what pushes his head flush against your pussy. 

You let out a beautiful sound almost in time with the song, and he is letting you fall once again on his arms, the smile on his lips the last nail on your pure coffin.

And unfortunately that means time’s up.

Makki lets your legs fall but holds you by your waist, depositing you on your own two feet at the stage and snickering at how your legs falter to hold you up on the high heels. So, as a gentleman, he takes your hand in his, helps you down the few steps on the stage, almost groans at how your hand seems to not want to let him go. 

Before he leaves you, he pulls your hand into his lips, absolutely glowing at how breathless you look from the little action after he literally ravished you on stage. It physically pains him that he needs to pick up another bride into his show. 

“See you later, pretty one.”

Under you, your legs are faltering, knees trembling like a newborn deer as you’re left alone to fend for yourself in the long path back to your table. Women congratulate you, screaming on your sides at the men who was almost fucking you dumb on stage and his friend, as they continue their show.

Your heart is beating in your ears, leaving you stupid and lost as you’re finally - finally - rescued by your friend, who brings you back to the table with loud congratulations and happy cheers. You feel your body sweating and throbbing, weirdly pulsating for something you can’t name. 

Recognizing it would make it real and you cannot believe that after five years in a nice relationship with your only boyfriend and soon-to-be-husband, this is the first time you feel this wet.

You plop down on the closest seat, hands pressing to your chest as you try to both fan yourself and hide behind them. It proves, as expected, a hard task.

Your childhood friend has arrived and you hug her sideways, the short conversation you two exchange somehow lost to your poor heated brain as your eyes keep sliding to center once again at the stage.

The way he dances on stage feels overwhelming, this bride-to-be suffering way less touching and grinding than you, as “Big Tease Makki” stays standing up, his hands groping everywhere in his sculpted body as he dances to the sensual song, including the considerable bulge in his pants.

Something flashes and he turns his head your way so sharply you feel the need to melt further on the sofa, poorly hiding away as everyone around you cheers once again.

 His eyes on you were burning a hot trail that slithers over your warm skin even in the dark, the ghost of a feeling of touch, erupting goosebumps along their way as they circle your neck and dip down your side, strutting over your chest to end by your face. Even in the distance, you swear you can feel the way those lips slip into an easy grin, satisfied at the way they have you breathless and weak by thought alone.

The idle chatting of your friends, excited and drunk are dulled by the pounding of your heart inside your chest, and you feel constricted by their presence on your sides at the booth, both ways filled with testimony to your inner turmoils-- can they see your sinful thoughts while they stay that close to you? Can the pounding of your heart and the heat in your face be felt at such a short distance? 

The mere idea that they can pry inside your skull and discover the sinful dreams unfolding is too much for you right now, your spine shooting up while you balance yourself in your pretty heels and ask in a meek, nervous voice for the girls to let you pass. Some ask if you need help or if you’re going to the bathroom, and in both options it feels like you’re going to be flanked immediately, so you deny it and say you have to make a quick phone call about something you forgot to confirm and they all nod away, drunkenly squealing for you to be quick. 

You’re almost free when one of your bridesmaids, your childhood friend, looks up at you with puzzled eyes.

“Hey, everything's okay?” She’s not drunk, only happily buzzed with sparkling wine, but her eyes are attentive when they lay on your face, worry etched in her brow as she looks for hints hidden in your dolled up face. 

“Yeah, just need to take a breather.” You give her what you hope is a reassuring smile even as sweat drips down your back, but the place is dark and loud and she lets you go without much prodding. The place is full and swarming with women, groups of men present but fewer, waiters clad in skimpy clothing as they work the tables full of drinks, shots and champagne. Some are flirtatious, charming smiles along with muscles as they sweep women off their feet and leave their wallets thinner; others are pretty serious, and the mysterious aura has their pull, the ecstasy of conquest working as an aphrodisiac. 

You pull past the bodies, feeling a bit light headed as your chest pounds and the booze traverse your body, clumsy steps on too-high-heels you’re not used to, but your bridesmaids had pushed you to wear along with screams to live a little and say hello to the last night before you’re a proper married lady. You’ve never really felt the weight of those words as the last two days, tasting for the first time the sweetness of night as you’ve never before. 

If brown, bored eyes make a appearance in your mind as you flee to the corridor leading to the private rooms and women’s bathroom, you’re quick to stop the train of thought before it leads down a muscular torso clad in a tight jeans with a firm ass and a hot, big cock that humped against you in every opportunity while he took you to the stage. 

A drop makes it way past your cunt lips to stain your fancy underwear and you groan, ashamed. You’ve never felt this unbecoming need before, the arousal so thick your breasts seem to be heavy against your ribcage, dress feeling too tight on your heated, oversensitive skin.

You’re reaching the curve left that will take you to the bathroom when big hands engulf your frame, palm over your mouth and you’re pulled inside one of the private rooms, too breathless to even make a sound.

“Howdy,” his voice sounds right by your ear, as you’re caged against a burly body and the closed, probably sound-proof door. “Got a fugitive here.”

“Uhh, sir, I--”

“Sir?” He laughs, head thrown back prettily as you drink the arch of his throat. “Oh my god, call me Makki, pretty one.” 

The petname makes you flush, tongue heavy and clumsy in your mouth around words. “Uh… Makki, I’m sorry but I, ah…” You fumble with your hands, avoiding touching him, eyes downcast as you try to also avoid even looking at him. It’s too much, he seems everywhere.

“You’re engaged? I can see that, love. You have a banner right there.” He sounds so nice, mischief and boyish glee as he stands way too close to you.

“Then you understand…”

“I understand this is your last night of freedom, right? The last chance for you to be bad,” He breathes against your jaw as he noses along your skin to your ear, his cowboy hat gliding softly against the side of your face, “To be wild.”

Your mouth opens and closes but not a single sound comes out, your brain completely lost to the science of mixing letters into words. All you can think about is how your blood seems to be galloping in your veins, the pounding of your heart so oppressingly loud the beat of the song seems to mimic it and not the contrary. 

You are lost to everything but the unbelievable feeling of painful arousal, so sharp and deep your bones seem to be melting out of their places and dripping into the outside by your cunt. 

“But,” Leaves your lips dumbly and Makki’s fingers silence you, his lips so close you can taste his every exhale, the flap of his hat managing to blind your vision to anything past his face.

“You’re going to be married to the exact same man forever, sweetheart. You can let go one night. One night for you to feel good.” Makki licks at your throat and your lips fall open with a shameless moan as you burn with shame. “Has he ever made you feel this hot, sweetie? Hm? Have you ever even felt like this? It’s your last chance tonight, right? Don’t lose it.”

Makki’s hands massage their way down your sides, grabbing at the flesh of your hips, brushing your ass, and you’re dead silent as you drool away in your panties. Unable to think, unable to speak, embarrassment clogging your throat together with an impossible, unacceptable yes.

“C’mon, sweetie, let me take care of you.” It’s a plea, and he knows your chest will hurt with the same need that is in his tone.  “Just this one time, so you can know what it feels like… how great it can be.”

“One time.” He promises you, earnest eyes boring into yours and, dumbly, enchanted, you nod… and agree.

Well, Makki ain’t waiting around for you to change your mind.

His hands loop around your thighs immediately, pressing you against the door until he can press his body between your open legs. The slit of your dress gives in just the little bit needed to allow his hips to make their way against your core, his lips busying themselves with planting kisses along the arch of your neck, teeth nibbling at the lobe of your ear, tongue gliding over the shell. 

His breathing is soft, but so close it feels like it engulfs the room, slithering inside your head and scrambling your thoughts. His crotch presses against your center enough to hold you high and open, one of his hands relieved of their place as it climbs your side and closes around your jaw, angling your head back until you’re trapped between his face and his chest. 

You shudder, eyes fluttering closed as if you cannot hold them open, and Makki feels his skin prickling, warmth spreading from his limbs to his chest and down his hips to center themselves at his burning length. You’re such a little vixen, all big eyes and open mouthed staring at him while he has hardly done anything.

He can barely wait to see how you’ll burn when he buries his face in your pussy.

Right now, though, Makki reigns in his excitement, fingers caressing your cheeks until your pretty eyes open up again, dazed. There’s just something about getting pretty little things like you to yield, to breathe out as his lips plant themselves carefully, softly, against your cheek, then the line of your jaw, your chin and your nose.

Every little kiss has you getting restless, trembling in his arms while your hands close around his shoulders, painful little welts that he loves to see. Such desperation. 

It’s really the best.

His lips press against the corner of your wobbling plush lips and you shudder, but they push it back, and when Makki finally decides to kiss you, you’re opening your mouth in your eagerness, tongue lapping awkwardly at his lips as he chuckles and decides it’s time to stop playing.

When he kisses you then, you gasp, precious little sound leaving you as if you had no idea you could even make it, and then you’re melting against him, pressing against his chest as his mouth works its wonders on yours, tongue circling, searching, sucking. He nips at your lips, steals all the short bits of breath from your lungs until you’re writing against him, pressing sinful hips against his crotch in such a desperate way it’s endearing.

The hand on your thigh dips further under your dress, finds the plush meat of your ass and engulf it in its palm, delighted at how inexistent is the small little thing you’re wearing and how fucking delicious it feels. His fingers dig into your bottom until you break the kiss to gasp at how easily he can slip his long indicator from your ass to your pussy.

It’s his time to lose his air at how fucking wet you are, ruined fancy panties and moist thighs.

“Oh god, look at that. Little bride is so wet for this cowboy.”

You make a face, lips pursing in an awkward turn and coily shifting to look down, appraising looks on his chiseled chest. “Okay this one was bad!” Makki offers with an easy smile, the hand on your neck dipping into your breasts, palms pressing on your chest as he turns his focus on circling the hard nipple through your clothes, closing around the plush meat until your offending honest little lips part once again to him. He can see in the turbilion of your eyes how you’re still swirling against guilt, holding back from him. 

“But can you blame me? Look at me.” He makes a mention with his head towards the big bulge straining his tight jeans, which have you unconsciously looking down, his hand sliding over your jaw to tilt your head up to meet his eyes, charming, easy-going smile in his lips. “Look at you.”

He rolls his hips once against your sex, feels the blistering heat even through layers of clothes but he’s done this enough to know exactly where to aim, having a moan escaping through the tight cage of your lips before you can hold everything else in by the lock of your teeth.

He can’t have that, though. He thrives on applause after all.

“Now, beautiful, I’ll need you to stop that right there.”  His fingers dip under you to slide against the soiled fabric clinging to your folds and you all but tense, melting after as if you cannot conceive how good is his mere touch. “I want to hear you, c’mon.” Your eyes drop on his in hurt, but you free your bottom lip, mouth imediatelly falling open around a groan as Makki presses aimless around the entrance of your sex. Damn, Makki likes this. 

“Yes, like that. You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?” His cock is straining against his boxers already, length rolling in perfect aimed strokes over the apex of your sex as his fingers thread on the outline of your beautiful cunt and when he dips inside a single fingertip, your sex and hands cling to him, all the beautiful curves of your body against his and he just-- He wants to see.

“Ok, dinner time!” Makki chuckles as he brings his hands once again to hold you firmly by your thighs, fingers spread enough to keep rolling against the edges of your cunt. 

“Wha-What?” You give a charming yelp at the way he holds you effortlessly while abandoning the door to walk over to the couch. It’s just a cheap upholstered thing in front of the circular stage with the pole hanging from the ceiling, but it’s just the perfect length for what he needs. 

He lets you fall, open and disheveled over it, legs spread to show the lace he saw earlier, stained and soiled after just a bit of makeout. 

“You’re so cute.” It’s mockingly, really; meant to be a jab at how you’re so hazed and undone by just a few moves of his, but the way in which your doe eyes thread up to him, shiny and unfocussed; your hands closing around your frame as a hand plants in front of your breasts is just… cute. There’s no other word. You’re just a cute little thing and he wants your demise.

 Makki groans and pulls you to the edge of the sofa by your legs, easily dropping between your thighs in a wave move, face planting itself on your breasts to suck at sweaty clothes, teeth pulling the fabric down until your nipples peek through and he sucks them inside his mouth, too. 

You tremble so easily, even worse when he abandons it to nose his way down your body tightly clad in the white dress, kisses over your belly until he’s nosing at your clothed cunt, open mouth kisses adding to the moistness in your poor underwear.

“Delicious.” Makki says for no reason other than to state his thoughts, tongue rolling over the clothed slit as if its skin, reveling in how your poor legs start to shake, needing the aid from his hands spreading them to finally stop. “Tell me, honey, have your fiancé ever fucked you good? Hm?”

The mention makes you stiff, head pressing to the side of the sofa as if you’re fighting a battle inside your own mind, triggered by the piece of trivia question.

“I bet he hasn’t,” Makki laughs, nosing at your pussy with such pressure his whole face gets smeared in your juices. “Is he your first boyfriend? Tell me more.”

 “I--how do you--” You stutter through bitten lips, truth tipping out once he easily spreads you open with his thumbs on each side. “Yes.”

“What a waste, such a wet fucking pussy and not one single effort from your hubby to-” Makki pulls your underwear aside, tongue lolling out to lick a long strip from your entrance to your clit, “lick”, once, it”, twice, “clean.” and thrice.

You let out a cute little noise and he gets impatient, pulling the lace at the side with enough force it rips easily under his hand. Your indignant noise doesn’t even sound right, lost in a moan at the way he closes his lips around your clit and brings his tongue to play with it fast. His hand presses harder on the skin of your thighs, leaving you open as a present, ripe and wide.

If Makki says he eats pussy as a fucking meal, it’s not out of vanity. He doesn’t like to stroke his own ego, it’s just the plain truth. He works his tongue around your cunt, licks at your puffy lips, slither his way over the labia, gathers all the dripping …. and lets it drip over your pussy, just to suck it up and spit on it, after all he never understood the whole don’t spit on the plate you eat. If it’s pussy, he’s sure it’s the fucking other way around. 

You’re writhing and moving around, a symphony of gasps and moans fighting their way past your tight lips. Makki doesn’t mind. As he brings his thumbs to stroke up and down the sides of your cunt, he knows you’ll be screaming in no time. It’s just too much. It’s clear you’ve never had anything like this just by the frantic way you’re humping his face, hands grabbing at anything and everything they can, unable to hold on. His only shame is how busy his mouth is, unable to tease his way into the pure debauchery you’re demonstrating.

He pauses a bit to angle himself back, eyes trained at your pussy, dripping fucking wet all over the dress and the sofa. His thumbs spread at the sides of your entrance, pull it open just to see it blink and gap, begging for his cock without a word leaving your lips. Shit. His cock is straining against the tight jeans in such a painful way he has to let one hand go, open his button and fly, let the poor warrior fight its way past the band of his calvin kleins.

Then he’s back at his work, one thumb keeping you open as his hand returns to plunge his indicator inside slowly. Makki’s mouth almost falls open at the bewitching way your walls give in, letting him sink inside the velvety wet inside with ease. You’re clenching around him, groaning above and begging below, so he lets a second one inside at the retreat and advance of his wrist.

“Have your little husband ever made you feel like this, huh? Have he eaten this little pussy so good you make a mess?”

“Jesus Christ!” You moan above and Makki laughs. He loves this. Loves the little religious bout he gets from tight little brides when they actually taste heaven amidst sin. You try to ride his fingers, but he presses the back of your knees higher, and you let out a breathless “God!” at the new angle.

Then he starts the real game, fingers moving around your heat in search of a specific spot he finds with little prodding and then abuses until you’re begging.

“Oh my god! I, fuck--Jesus!” 

“Yes, just like that sweetheart. If you beg for me real pretty I’ll give you what you want.” He says as his fingers keep plunging in and out of your heat in an upwards motion, strong but slow, dragging the feeling of his thick digits inside your walls. It’s close, he can feel it in the way you’re swelling around him, restless kicking out legs and praying for God as if it isn’t Makki who’s giving you all this.

“My name, sweetie. Beg for it, c’mon. Say it out very loud, how you want my cock to fuck you nice and hard as you’ve never had before, huh? Just--”

“Fuck!”

“Just tell me more how you had no idea it could be so good and how you need me to show you how fucking good a man can actually fuck.”

“Oh my god,” you all but yelp, but then sighs a, “yes, please.”

“Hmmm? Couldn’t hear you.”

“Oh fuck, Makki please fuck me!” There’s a breathless, outstandly maniac laugh breaching your lips after that, a flow of quick words falling from your lips as a train of thought, “Jesus I’ve never felt like this, oh my god I think I’ll actually die without--”

“There we go!” Makki laughs, voice loud as he stops everything to get up and once again bends down to pick you up.

“Wha--Wait!” You squeak, body tense and trembling at the loss as Makki only kisses around your tearstained face and makes his way around the upholstered couch. “Makki!” That has to be the needier, whinier tone he has ever heard his name in. 

And he loves it. 

He lets you slide through his hands, bends you over the back of the couch, your ripped panties sliding to the floor by one of your legs. One of Makki’s hands descends hard on your ass with a loud slap, your lips opening around a beautiful moan. The other does the same, both circling and massing the plump flesh as your ass and pussy blinks seductively at him. 

That does it. Makki curses as he pulls his pants and underwear down, his hard, bloody-red cock slapping up against his navel; he closes his hand around it to slap it between the crack of your pretty behind and feels everything in him tingling at how wanton you sound in your moan, angling your back so that your ass can climb higher, head against the seat cushions.

“Yes, baby, just like that.” Makki praises you as he tilts his cockhead on your slit, up and down, up and down against your clit, labia and entrance. It’s absolutely delicious how you clench to try and hold his cockhead, but it slips up to bob against your ass. “Ops, let’s try again.”

He does the same thing a second time but then you groan and whine once again, “Makki, please!”

Well, fuck, who’s he to deny you, right?

He pats your ass and supports his weight at the back of his feet, cockhead right against the beautiful hole weeping for him and, carefully, slowly, deliciously starts dipping inside. Your pussy sucks him in as a vice, muscle clenching and releasing; loud, satisfacted moans in your lips. It’s almost choking to him that the loud noise in the room comes from him, too, mouth falling open in a growl.

When his hips are nested against your ass, Makki has the urge to kiss you but squatches it down in favor of holding you strongly and fucking you throughly. Motioning himself in waves as he had on the stage, his cock slides in and out of you with such delicious, timed precision he thinks you’ll come twice on him before he’s done. 

Your tight heat is velvety wet around him, squelching sounds sinful in the room as he grinds his hips against your ass, cockhead nestled against the firm pressure of your cervix. There’s babbles tipping from your lips, as if your mind has broken and you have to pronounce your mess of thoughts out loud. It’s cute.

Maybe he'd appreciate it more if his mind wasn't falling him also; his whole body feels constricted, strained, hips rolling in long, deep, strong strokes that make his cock into a pleasure antena, broadcasting to his whole being, blistering heat spreading through his veins and turning sharp at his spine and to start pooling at his balls. 

He is about to dip his hand to your clit and end you when your body seizes, legs kicking while dangling from the backrest of the couch and your pussy starts creaming hard like a vice around his cock.

“Fuck!” He groans, tensing his whole body before you bring him over with you, hand slithering to hold the base of his cock, hard. Then he laughs, no breath to spare. “Wow, baby, no heads up? Now you gonna have to give me one more, I’m not done with you yet.”

You let out an indignant groan, but rest boneless under him. Makki retreats his hips from your snug grip and starts pistoning his way inside your heat, unforgiving even as you yelp and whine, oversensitivity probably making you burn. Makki lets one of his hands let go of your hips and fall hard on your ass, in time to feel the way your pussy grips at him, yelp turning into a moan. Makki lets his hands slide down the side and curve his wrist so your fingers can find your clit, rubbing him frantically as he angles his hips just right, every wave of his body aimed against your precious spot.

“Yup,” Makki groans, growing exhausted. “Just like this.”

Your eyes snap open, hands frantically reaching to hold on anything by them as you look back at Makki with shiny, big, dazed eyes in absolute terror at the fact you are, indeed, going to keep cumming on his dick, second orgasm hitting you so hard and fast Makki actually tips over with you, the pressure in his balls releasing in one blissful climax at the incessant contracting of your cunt and the wave of your orgasm gushing out of your pussy in the closest thing to a squirt he could pull out of you amidst a unending orgasm.

Makki stays inside you as he rides his high, grinding his hips even as you cry from the oversensitivity. When he pulls out, he’s careful with the condom and also has half a mind to hold your body, throwing the used thing somewhere to be cleaned after. Almost as if perceiving the breach, his cellphone starts ringing somewhere, loud as fuck in the closed room.

“Damn, fuck,” Makki scrambles to the sound, his legs almost giving out under him and his fingers so numb it takes three tries to actually accept the call. Which he didn’t read who from. 

“MAKKI! WHERE ARE YOU, WE’RE STARTING IN FIVE.” Iwaizumi nags at him, stern and loud, piercing through his haze enough to make his brain drop some adrenaline into his bloodstream, suddenly alert and kicking, muscles straining but holding as he pulls his underwear and jeans quick over his ass and searches for his cowboy hat in time to dip and run to the presentation.

“Sorry baby, gotta go.” He saunters to you, plants a kiss on your sweaty head and another at your swollen lips and smiles the same sinful smile that ended up bringing you here, along with a tilt of his cowboy hat. “Duty calls.”

#hanamaki x reader #hanamaki smut #hanamaki takahiro smut #haikyuu smut #thesmutpilecollab

[sparklingdisneyprincess]

Having Amber know for weeks affected fans view of her and why it was not done well.

In the tags on a reblog of one of my posts, someone mentioned that the scene where Amber tells Mark she knew he was a hero was bad writing and I low-key agree. I plan on doing an analysis on that specific scene later, but today I wanted to get into why the way the writes handled that situation just wasn’t great.

Keeping in mind the context of who the writers are can somewhat explain the  thought process behind the decision. The creators of the comic book said themselves that's the comic book very often pokes fun at superhero stereotypes and tropes. One of the main stereotypes in superhero comic books is the main non-super female love interest being upset with the male superhero love interest for constantly flaking on her/being unavailable trope. In this trope the conflict is typically resolved when the female love interest is told or discovers in the moment usually by so accident that the male love interest was the superhero the whole time and the revelation is suddenly supposed to negate all the negative emotions that the female love interest was put through and everything just ends up fine. 

In today's time it wouldn't matter if he was a superhero or not. He still made her feel terrible, he still lied. I do think women today wouldn’t allow that to excuse all the hero’s behavior especially when it was evident that said behavior was hurting them. 

We know the writers like to poke fun at stereotypical superhero comic book tropes and plot points, and a good way to do that it to utilize trope subversion.

Trope subversion definition:

A subversion has two mandatory segments. First, the expectation is set up that something we have seen plenty of times before is coming, then that set-up is paid off with something else entirely. The set-up is a trope; the "something else" is the subversion.

Pure trope subversion vs Partial trope subversion:

Executing a “Pure trope subversion” means to follow the blueprint for “Trope subversion” to a tee. The writer sets up the story with essentially no hints that the outcome will be anything but traditional, and then proceeds to suddenly turn the outcome on it’s head in a way that was unanticipated. In the case of the “Partial trope subversion” it’s the opposite. The writer will drop subtle hints and clues teasing that the outcome will not be traditional for the trope. The hints must be subtle because the writers goal is still to trick the reader into believing that the traditional outcome will occur.

The main problem with them writing it as a pure trope subversion is that Amber ends up looking really bad and that people already didn’t like her as they wanted Eve to end up with Mark.

The set-up of the secret identity relationship trope leads us to believe that the female was mostly if not completely unaware that their male love interest is a hero. They often times are suspicious, but the dots don’t usually get the chance to connect before it’s all revealed. Going with that type of trope set-up leads the audience to believe that it’ll end like it always does. The girl will feel sorry for her actions and completely forgive the hero (even though I don’t find think that’s realistic), so instead of it going in that direction they subvert it. They have the female love interest (Amber) figure it out herself and silently not be in the dark for a period of time till it’s revealed that she knew. This is fine unless it’s written as a pure trope subversion because the traditional trope buildup includes anger over canceled plans, late arrivals, and feelings of neglect. That anger makes the female love interest look completely irrational in the case that she knew! (Though perhaps she was not truly angry over those things after she discovered the truth, but she was angry with him lying and couldn’t tell him that without saying she knew, so she expressed her anger through those situations instead of the main reason??? Hmm, I just thought of that and that’s an interesting theory for another time.) Anyways...

I found that the trope subversion making Amber look so bad to be a glaring issue that should have been weeded out in the writing room. They had to have known how it would be perceived. There’s no way they wouldn’t. The only logical reason they’d do this is if they plan to go through with what I suspected was happening at the beginning of the show, which would be that the writers are telling us that Amber is not Mark’s endgame and that she’s just taking up space until Mark and Eve eventually get together. The only problem with that theory is that they had Mark and Amber get back together at the end of the season which is another trope subversion. In the usual love triangle bait-and-switch trope the first female love interest the male superhero chooses gets booted out to make room for the second girl in the love triangle who he was apparently supposed to be with the whole time, however the writers didn’t got through with that trope. They instead subverted it (whether purposely or not) by having the original couple get back together and setting it up in a way that shows the couple potentially growing stronger, rather than him staying single and eventually ending up with female love interest number 2. The writers even took the subversion a step further by setting the outcome up in a way that showed potential for female love interests 1 and 2 to actually start a beautiful friendship instead of a rivalry. 

I’m honestly confused by what the writers wanted us to perceive. If they wanted us to root for Amber and Mark why set them up like that? To prove that they can move past it? But who will support the relationship after everybody now hates Amber? It is contradictory, so I’m very confused. I did write another post speculating that though Amber knew Mark was a hero, she did not know he was Invincible. The theory does shed more light on the situation and it resolves a lot of issues, but it still doesn’t negate the fact that the use of a pure trope subversion in this instance made Amber look really bad. Especially when people would sooner find ways to cancel her, rather than attempt to understand why she did it. To understand someone does not mean to agree with or support them, but it reminds you to humanize the other person, a value we are all owed. 

If the writers had not done a pure trope subversion and instead decided upon a partial trope subversion the fallout would not have been nearly as bad. If they had done a partial trope subversion they could’ve allowed Amber to be more patient in some of the later scenes, while showing that even though she’s patient, she’s also very upset. It would show more understanding on her part, however I think Amber was actually already understanding of his situation. What she did not understand was the lying and how it seemed that he didn’t even care enough to lie well. She was hurt that he didn’t trust her and during their relationship she was constantly questioning whether or not he was serious and if he actually cared about her and honestly we questioned it too as an audience! Imagine how frustrated she must’ve been those 5 months out of 6 when she didn’t know why he was lying to her. 

Amber and Mark didn’t have any relationship issues that I noticed aside from his secret identity. Their dynamic was interesting to watch in my opinion because Mark wasn’t phased by Ambers weird sense of humor and her having essentially no filter, in fact he embraced it and was also snarky in return. He liked that she has strong core beliefs and clearly enjoyed spending time with her. Even though Amber is sarcastic and pokes fun at Mark she finds his enthusiasm to be endearing and often laughs with and smiles at him. Heck, she even approached him first! They’re just two teenagers dating and it’s nothing too exciting like it’s usually portrayed in media. They text, go on dates, make out, enjoy the others presence without really needing to talk, it’s just nice normal dating stuff and it’s realistic and lowkey, and I really liked seeing it. Upon my first watch of the show I liked Amber and Mark together, but I didn’t see the chemistry. I think it’s because everything about their relationship needed to happen in the span of 8 episodes, but also that the reasons why their attracted to each other are very subtle. They don’t shove it in our faces, they just place it there and if you caught then you caught it, if you didn’t then you didn’t. It took me re-watching the episodes a second time to realize why Mark and Amber enjoy being with each other. The body language speaks volumes when you also pay attention to the little things that go on between them. I’ll probably make a whole other post about it because I think it’s something to talk about, but yeah.

In conclusion either the writers truly didn’t realize the outcome of their choice, the writers knew the outcome and did it on purpose to set the audience up to root for Eve and Mark, the writers knew and set it up in order to later on grow/redeem Amber and strengthen her and Mark’s relationship by having them over come it, or they didn’t think it’d be a big deal due to assuming that the trope subversion would take everyone by surprise and that we’d like it.

(If you made it to the end, I’m impressed cause this was long. Also, shoutout to the person who first brought up this topic in the tags. I didn’t realize I felt some kind of way until I started typing and couldn’t stop. It was honestly kind of cathartic😄 I didn’t tag you cause I didn’t know if you’d like that but, thanks for unintentionally giving me the motivation to write this!) 

#Aark #Amber Bennett #Mark Grayson #Mark x Amber #Invincible #SDP reviews #SDP thoughts

[hopeshoodie]

Where do you think the islanders are now??

Ok so I know the question is ‘now’, which would only be like max 3 years after the season ended if we’re assuming they were ‘live’ when they were released- but I love this question as if it’s been 10 years. All of this is assuming that MC coupled with someone else

Bobby- He ends up kind of like Tim, coming back and making cameos in future seasons. That’s less about clinging to relevance like it is with Tim, it’s more just Bobby’s the fan favorite and he’ll agree to come on because it’s fun/he’s flattered. Bobby’s Boops takes off because bakeries are having a moment right now and also his name is attached to it, and they open up three additional locations. I don’t see Bobby enjoying the management aspect of being a business owner, he opened a bakery specifically because he likes pastry making, so he definitely contracts that out and focuses instead on the menu and experimentation aspect. He definitely wants to settle down sooner rather than later, so I imagine he has some kind of meet cute with a girl (who lowkey was already a fan of his but pretends not to be), they date and get married and have three kids. So ten years later finds him with three really young kids and a husband. But he still kind of hangs around as a celebrity- he has a huge twitter following and is generally known for posting woke stuff and clapbacks. 

Carl- One of Carl’s apps, I’m thinking it’s a more practical communication or professional services app as opposed to a game, takes off and he doesn’t make a ton from it, but he does gain a lot of professional attention. He’s offered positions at major tech companies and he takes the most interesting position (re: not the most lucrative). He bounces around a bit, working his way up, and eventually settles into a job that’s relatively lower stress but pays really well. He never makes a whole lot of time for a relationship or dating, so he’s not dating anyone ten years later. He’s mostly okay with that, he has a cat and a couple close friends. 

Chelsea- I kind of feel like Chelsea keeps doing more of the same that she was doing prior to the show? I don’t know why I have such a hard time visualizing her in a long-term relationship, but I feel like she’s going to be in her 40s before really finding ‘her person’ and settling down into a more traditional nuclear family kind of situation. In the meantime, she just keeps working on her interior design and casually dating while prioritizing herself and her friends. Her and MC absolutely stay friends, even if they’re long distance. The show brings more eyes to her work, but I don’t think it radically changes what she’s doing or how she works. The same’s true for Elisa- she just keeps doing her influencer thing after the show and the only difference is that it brought in a few more followers.

Gary- Lottie and him break up, obviously. They’d probably ghost each other right after the show and then Gary would lowkey cheat on her because he’s never had so many women pining after him. So he’d definitely sleep with a bunch of fans whilst clubbing directly after the show. Lottie would get vindictive about it if she caught wind, and he would argue that they’re basically broken up and she’s in Australia. I don’t see a lot of advancement for Gary? I think he just keeps being a crane operator, finds a girl he likes and they start a family. I’m back on my ‘Gary’s a traditional catholic’ bullshit, so they have like 5 kids and move to the suburbs. That’s not gonna all happen in ten years though- I see him getting married within five years, and then having 4 kids by the time the 10 year reunion happens. 

Hannah- Surprisingly enough, Hannah was the person I’m most excited to think about in 10 years. Mostly because I’m so interested in how spectacularly her book fails and how she copes with the fallout of that and her discovering her sexuality. She publishes her book the end of the same year that the season ends, and it… Doesn’t really sell many copies. That absolutely pisses her off- this was supposed to be her big break. Lowkey I can see Hannah trying to pull some kind of Handbook for Mortals-esque stunt but failing. So she swears off writing for a bit, and maybe focuses on a relationship with some guy she met. They get married, but I think Hannah lowkey doesn’t want to have a kid with him and uses birth control without telling him (even if he thinks they’re trying).She does the whole housewife thing while “””working on her next book””” even though she hasn’t written in four years. Maybe it’s that she’s realizing she’s not in love with her husband or that she hates being a housewife, but she is V unhappy as time goes on. What makes it worse is that BookTube discovers her novel and they all clown on it for a good few months, which pisses Hannah off even more and discourages her further. Hannah can’t stop herself from responding publicly, which draws more attention and kind of turns her into a Gabby Hannah figure on the internet. While all of this is going on, she grows more and more unhappy until one day spur of the moment she leaves her husband while he’s at work and just… Drives aimlessly before getting on a random flight. She travels for a few months, still pretty unhappy, and hits up either MC or Lottie. MC’s presumably married to her LI and uninterested in Hannah’s profession of love all this time, but Lottie’s still single living in New York (or LA). Hannah would know to be way more subtle with Lottie, asking to ‘reconnect’ and maybe come crash at her place as her marriage languishes. So Hannah temporarily moves in with Lottie, they fall in love. Ten years from S2 we find Hannah finalizing her divorce and rediscovering her love of literature, all with the love of her life by her side. 

Henrik- He’s going to have a huge influx of customers because of the show- not only did him explaining that wilderness exploring and bouldering tours are a thing make more people interested, but lots of fans now want to do tours specifically WITH Henrik. For someone who manages their own business, that kind of a boon would be huge. I think he makes like… Five times his normal salary in a couple of months after the show, and even after interest dies down he still makes more than he did before. That alleviates a lot of the financial pressure on him, and he’s able to work a little bit less and travel a bit more. He still runs into Lucas while hiking, and they start traveling together. Kiss kiss fall in love. It’s a weird thing where they’ll plan a trip together, makeout a lot and do the nasty, then go back to their lives and pretend nothing happened. Henrik sees a photo online of a girl Lucas is dating and gets a bit jealous, even though he knows he shouldn’t be. But I don’t think either of them really settle down long term in ten years. They keep falling back to each other- Lucas has a bad day and calls Henrik out of the blue then they talk for hours, randomly Henrik invites him along to a backpacking tour and last minute conveniently all the customers cancel so it’s just them, Lucas needs moral support after attending a cousin’s wedding and buys Henrik a plane ticket to visit. At the ten year reunion they definitely get back together and do some nasty before leaving again. It’ll be ten more years before they both admit they’re in love and get together officially. So ten years after the season, Henrik is single, still doing his wilderness tours, and still living on the Isle of Wight. 

Hope- My girl is going places. After dumping Noah, she takes a break from dating and focuses on her career. She still uses his whole collectible figurine idea, though, and I think she’s on the team that develops a really lucrative series of action figures that upload onto a rpg mobile app, like disney infinity or skylanders. After her brand is super successful, she gets promoted a couple of times, and then reaches the top tier of executives but can’t get any farther. There’s a lot of corporate politics and she’d managed to negotiate the contract to have a loophole where the toy series she designed are her intellectual property. So when she gets fed up, she leaves and founds her own company with multiple super popular brands to start with and all the contacts to maintain business. After maybe four or five years of doing that, she sells her company to a bigger one and accepts a job on the board of directors of another massive conglomerate. The whole time she’s making absolute bank, dressing amazing, buying properties, and living her best life. Privately, she gets her personal life together soon after the show ends, doing the self reflection needed to realize that she needs therapy. She definitely works on her anxiety about being alone and anger, coming out the other side a much happier person. Somewhere along the line at a networking event she meets a really stable and kind film executive and they start dating. The 10 year reunion happens like three months after she sells her company so she gets to show up super bougie and casually mention it, while pulling her super successful husband in tow. 

Rahim- I feel like he’s going to be doing exactly the same thing he always has- travelling for golf, enjoying expensive shit, dating Jo, and not much else. Like he and Jo will rush to get married but I don’t think they’ll have any kids.They won’t see each other most of the time because they both travel so much, so it’ll be? Pretty much the same as it was before?

Lottie- Of everyone, I think Lottie’s the one who develops into a celebrity. She isn’t super invested in social media- she doesn’t use it to promote things or really talk to people, she just posts makeup looks and aesthetic ootds, but she has a massive following on instagram. Like canon, she moves to New York and starts working with a major celebrity (does anyone have a headcanon for who it is? Because idk enough celebrities to say sakjslkdjalksdj) and then she moves on to working with a bunch of different clients. She gets pretty popular amongst wealthy entertainers and does a lot of cameos in other people’s instagram videos when she’s candidly lounging on their yacht or partying on a rooftop. I don’t think Lottie ever has a ‘the one’ kind of relationship- she’ll date a person for 3ish years until they outgrow each other and then move on amicably. She’s not really stressed about never settling down, she just needs to know that the person she’s with is faithful and loves her in the time they’re together 100%. I don’t see her really dating women all that much, but she definitely crushes on some and has very VERY close friendships. 

Marisol- So if MC isn’t with her (which I have a whole headcanon about how MC-specifically my MC- changes her life radically), Marisol 100% dumps Graham like… a week after the villa. She’ll play it off as a ‘You think I have time for a relationship with my workload? It wouldn’t be fair to you. Besides, that was never real, it was for the game.’ But really it’s because without being in the villa with nothing else to focus on, she loses interest. She makes it through school and gets into law school, no problem. Law school is really demanding, but she dates a few classmates on and off to no real results. As she enters her career, she chooses to be a prosecuting attorney because of her interest in true crime, she has a nagging frustration about never truly being in love. She also isn’t really enjoying her job- it’s a lot more workload than she was expecting and she struggles to keep her professionalism in high pressure court settings. After 2 years in her first position, idk what the British equivalent of an assistant DA is, Marisol leaves and starts doing contract law, which she enjoys wayyy more. In the meantime she starts a true crime podcast, and I think her relative celebrity plus her actually good research makes it really popular- to the point where people know her from the podcast and not love island. She eventually meets an attorney at a competing firm and after having some contentious negotiations he asks her out. She begrudgingly agrees, they have a great time, and they start dating. The ten year reunion finds Marisol newly engaged (which she’s super insecure about because everyone’s already married with kids), and seeing MC again brings up a lot of unresolved feelings for her. 

Noah- The hype from the show could not fade away fast enough for his liking. He hates how people recognize him now and fangirls come to the library specifically to see him. Hope and him continue dating for around seven months, with her becoming more and more distant towards the end. He’s expecting it, but it still hurts when Hope dumps him. If MC is with Bobby, this fic plays out, and Bobby eventually leaves MC for Noah. If Bobby didn’t stay close to Noah platonically, Noah just endures the heartbreak pretty much alone. What’s he gonna do, reach out to Rahim? He spends a lot of time with his parents and younger siblings until they move out. I don’t think he’s in any rush to get back into a relationship, but eventually he meets someone. Lowkey I kinda think he meets her online, probably on a Homestuck fandom server or social media after she reaches out about his whole Reading at Reading thing. They talk as friends for a really long time, maybe like four years, before meeting in person and advancing their relationship. I think they get engaged before they even move in together, and maybe have a kid before officially tying the knot. So ten years from the season Noah and his wife have 2 kids and have just bought their first house together. I can see him moving to his wife’s city/country, but still working in library sciences wherever they end up. If he and Hope won, I’d bet that he’d save his 25k and then years later decide to create or contribute to a nonprofit for the literacy of children. Even if they didn’t win, I bet he’d still want to do that once his family was stable. 

Priya- I’m sorry but like… I don’t see Priya being particularly extraordinary after Love Island. She just doesn’t have the star power to be a celebrity- she’s hot but she’s not dynamic enough to command attention, and she doesn’t have a specific focus enough to really become a famous fashion designer or actress. She definitely comes out with a clothing brand after the reunion episode shows her openly wanting to design fashion, but that’s only because a brand approaches her to use her name and the fanbase’s attention. But interest dwindles pretty quick (mostly because it’s just a run-of-the-mill consumer clothing line with some random celeb’s name on it), and that never really pans out. Priya does fine for herself as a realtor, but I don’t think it’s ever so lucrative where she doesn’t have to work anymore. I see her pretty unceremoniously getting married, having no more than one (1) kid, and being pretty mediocre. She’s still really amazing!! Like don’t get me wrong, she’s so beautiful and such a good person, but I think being on love island would really end up being the most notable thing she did in her life. 

Rocco- I have this ongoing headcanon that Rocco would actually settle down after like 8 years of doing the food truck thing. It’d be a really quick transition too- he’d realize one day that he was not happy outrunning his mental health issues and that the van was starting to gross him out and bother him as opposed to feeling like home. So he’d be fine doing the travelling food truck this for like six or seven years, and at some point in that he’d accidentally get a girl in some random country pregnant. At the time he’d panicked and ran away, but once he realizes he doesn’t want to be nomadic anymore, he’s immediately thinking about that girl and his kid. He moves to whatever country she lives in but doesn’t reach out just yet. He’d go back to school and finish his degree, which would take some doing and he’d need to seek treatment for his ADHD and depression. But once he does that, he finds a finance job pretty easily because he’s a charming guy and would get a less shitty place to rent. THEN, after like 3ish years of living and working in Estonia or wherever he is, he reaches out to the girl to meet his daughter. The girl refuses, because why would she let him do that, but agrees to meet him for drinks. They start meeting regularly, mostly to build trust and show that Rocco’s ready to be a dad, but end up dating. Rocco shows up to the ten year reunion in a suit and not at all looking like Rocco, with pictures of his daughter and girlfriend to proudly show everyone. 

Sadjkasdjs I feel bad almost all of these are like ‘they’re doing the same thing :)’ but here ya go.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Alone together at the Summer Sweets Festival

Sweet treats, flying carpets, and colorful blooms - it's a magical day in Falcon Harbor when the Summer Sweets Festival comes to town. Everything's so soft and pastel, it's such a lovely sight to take in. Standing on the bridge, getting a full view of the festivities, I feel peaceful, like despite everything going on in the world right now, as long as I'm here, I'm safe.

Since we've been busy with camp stuff and running the shop, Daisy Jane and I felt that we needed some time to ourselves. Up until now, we haven't really had one on one time together, something we knew had to be fixed.

Hard to believe that Daisy Jane's been here for over a year now - how different things were back then. She went from stagnating in life to living her dream, being independent and creating art. And not too long ago I was in a similar position, trying to find my place in the world but having a hard time doing so. People objected - usually for good reason - but we took the plunge anyway, stumbling more than succeeding, but finding our way eventually. To some, it's still not ideal, but to us, we're happy, and that's more than enough for us.

Like I said, it's been nice just the two of us hanging out. I mean, we did meet up with friends but for the most part it's only us off on our own while occasionally meeting up. Not that I don't miss the campers but sometimes you just gotta go off and do your own thing. I've been so wrapped up in camp events lately that I haven't had time to do that and it was starting to affect me. As I'm still learning, it's important not to get too wrapped up in things - and there's nothing wrong with taking things slow, even slacking off if you can.

Since Pai brought along Connie and the gang, I've been thinking about that a lot. As much as I enjoy and look forward to camp events, they take a lot out of me. I get that they're kinda necessary to keep things running - and it's not like we're running out of ideas (I'm starting to think that's becoming one of my worst fears if I ever get to that point) -  but it's important to know when to slow down. I've made the mistake of back to back events so now I know to space them out for everyone's sanity.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that burnout ain't good. Know the signs and take steps to prevent yourself from crashing and burning. Problem is that it can sneak up in unexpected ways, so it's extra important to catch the warning signs as soon as possible.

A festival may not seem like an ideal way to get some rest and relaxation, but this one's different. I think it's the peaceful atmosphere in general - things aren't too crazy or crowded, just people vibing in their own spaces. Kinda like a cafe's that's sorta busy but not too crowded or loud so you can just chill out and do your own thing without feeling like you're in the way. I always feel bad for taking up space, especially when I know that someone else needs it more than I do, which is why I tend to feel self conscious out in public. Doing stuff at a cafe sounds nice but actually doing it? I need to find the right place, the right atmosphere, the right spot that gives me privacy while not be closed off from everything else.

In other words, the Summer Sweets Festival's kinda like finding the perfect cafe to hang out in. The vibe's similar to the Traveling Fika, a relaxed atmosphere that doesn't compel you to have to try out everything all at once but instead encourages you to take your time and explore at your own pace. As much as I enjoy festivals - even more so as I've had a hand in behind the scenes for some - they can take a lot out of me. Again, there's nothing wrong with slowing down and taking your time.

While enjoying the festivities we ran into some friends. Turns out Emmaline and Minnie had the same idea of going to the festival for one on one time. I think this is the first time I've hung out with them since their wedding. As usual, they've been traveling around the universe, though they've been slowing down a bit and visiting home more often. It's still up in the air, but they're really considering the idea of buying a place in Rosevine. They'll still be traveling but that means they'll also have a home base to go back to.

The four of us enjoyed galaxy themed dango and fresh jasmine tea while catching up. I think since getting married, Emmaline and Minnie have fallen even more in love with each other. It's always so sweet seeing them side by side, holding hands and just being together. Like me and Daisy Jane, they also took a gamble by going off on their own - they were always more bolder than us in many ways despite being younger. In a way, they seem older, though it's more of a kinda had to grow up faster because of life circumstances.

Now that I think about it, no one really comes out unscathed from their upbringing. I'm lucky to not experience the traumas Emmaline and Minnie went through, though I can relate to being seemingly older than your peers. I'm not knocking my upbringing but the culture I grew up in - where my parents were also brought up - tends to put pressure on all of us. Maybe I'm biased because I'm the firstborn daughter in an Asian family but in a way I'm kinda expected to be maternal - not that I don't want to be, it's just the pressure of being that gets to me. It's the whole idea of you have to be the best, not just for you, but for your family - in other words, you have a lot to carry on your shoulders.

Then there's the whole debate of whether I should do something because it's for me or should consider my family over myself. Eh, that's something for another time I don't feel like getting into all that today.  Will I have to address it someday? Probably but I don't have the brain power to even touch on that.

After getting lost in the stars, the four of us hopped on a flying carpet for a scenic view of the harbor. They say that Falcon Harbor's known for its magical carpets, from their beautiful and intricate designs to the magic these threads possess, it's amazing to see how much work is put into making a single one. The view is absolutely gorgeous - it adds to the dreamy vibe of the festival.

Not too long after parting ways, we ran into Blossom. It was an unexpected surprise as she came here on sort of a whim. For the past year or so she's been hanging out with a time traveling professor and exploring various parts of the universe with him. She posts a lot of about her travels on social media and it sounds like she's having a blast.

Though as much as she enjoys going on adventures with the professor, Blossom finds him a hassle to get along with sometimes. She describes him as the kind of guy who's used to pretty much getting away with everything and doesn't really know how to take responsibility, so inevitably that ends up getting him into a lot of trouble. Jamie's heard stories about him and while he has good intentions, most tend to have a like-hate thing with him. I get where Blossom's coming from with the lack of foresight and accountability - like it's understandable if you're from an upbringing that neglects that but at the same time you're a grown adult so act like one.

Aside from that the professor guy sounds cool but to be honest I'm not sure if I can stand to be his traveling companion. Blossom finds him to be good company most of the time and he brings some excitement to her normally monotonous life. Now with her little sister moving across the country, Blossom finally has more freedom to do what she wants. The main reason why she accepted the professor's offer to join in on his adventures was to get away from her, which is understandable. Her sister's a lot like mine in which I love her, but she can be a bit much to deal with - and not ideal to live with 24/7. With her sister gone, Blossom doesn't have to deal with nosy siblings who, while well intentioned, make her feel bad for doing her own thing. And yes, I speak from experience.

Originally, Blossom and the professor were gonna go on a space adventure but that was scrapped at the last minute. Basically, the professor owed an old friend big time for something he sorta screwed up on the last time he visited, so now, after avoiding it for years, he has to finally pay up. It's not as bad as it sounds as he knew that he would have to own up sooner or later, plus Blossom knows them to be good friends.

As much as she wants to see the cosmos, she's been busy helping her sister with the moving out process so she'd rather have a lowkey weekend. Since she lives about 20 mins away from town, Blossom figured that maybe she'd pop in to join in on the festivities for a bit. So we enjoyed candied strawberries, tiger milk tea, and a boat ride around the harbor before going off our separate ways again.

At night, we met up again with Emmaline and Minnie to set up a picnic and watch the fireworks show. Seeing all those bright, vibrant colors against the dark night sky, it's a pretty sight to look at. We also chose a good spot to view it as there's not too many people around and the sound doesn't break our ears. After that, we hung around a bit longer, exploring stands we haven't gotten around to visiting yet. The quiet atmosphere along with the gentle glow of the lanterns - I almost didn't want to leave because it felt so comforting, especially when it's just us alone.

Did I just say "us" alone? Maybe it's just because we've known each other for so long and have a lot in common, but as much as I like having alone time, I'm starting to see myself more open to sharing that time with Daisy Jane. Not exactly interacting, but existing in the same space, doing our own thing. I still need my solo alone time, but I also wouldn't mind being alone together with Daisy Jane, like how we were at the festival.

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug #headcanon ramble

[hecohansen31]

I lowkey want (who am I kidding lol I seriously want it) another Fallon x Reader x Duncan. maybe like ... duncan's away and reader's being bad, so Fallon has to punish her like if Duncan were there, hmmm.... ANYWAY, your writing's amazingggg and I'm obsessed

(A/N): Hello there, lovely!

So thank you for saying that and I hope you’ll enjoy this!

Have a nice day!

I am also tagging @wickedlangdon and @melodylangdon because I know they tend to like this kind of stuff!

WARNINGS: Female-Female Action, Oral Sex (Female Receiving) And Fingering, Polyrelationship.

Fallon Carrington had too many problems, in her life: her father was slowly sinking the company which might have to pass onto her shoulder, once he was dead (which might happen sooner than later if he kept up this attitude).

Her newest evil stepmother was fighting with her sociopath of a brother, creating an atmosphere in their home that wasn’t in the slightest easy or breezy.

And lately, her girlfriend/lover had been moping around their shared apartment, being the most ridiculous brat in the universe, not to talk about a drama queen that would put to shame Sam.

And this was all due to their shared lover having delayed his return: the night before Duncan had said that some awful things had been going down at the Shepherd Foundation, in Washington and he had to stay there for a few more days.

“… but the event…?” (Y/N) had asked, her eyes shining, sadness sparkling in them, at the sole thought of Duncan missing the important event she had been organizing for an entire month for the Shepherd Foundation branch in Atlanta.

Fallon knew she had been working hard not wanting to disappoint Duncan, and the knowledge that Duncan wouldn’t be attending was rather heartbreaking.

Fallon knew it all too well.

But this didn’t excuse her horrible behavior: she didn’t seem to even care in the slightest anymore for the entire event, and if she wasn’t sleeping and moping she would be ordering around the poor maids, and worst of all…teasing Fallon, meanwhile she was at work.

Like that morning.

She had been busy in a rather important reunion, wrestling with Kirby for ‘Femperial’, when she had opened the message to reveal it to be a rather provocative nude picture of (Y/N), more importantly done in her lingerie, and not the old one she would never use… but the good stuff… the one she had recently bought.

She just couldn’t deal with all this treatment any further.

On her way home, since she couldn’t focus on anything that weren’t those nudes and the desire they had created in her, she had called Duncan, mostly because he might suggest her something to do in this case.

Unlike Duncan, due to the fact that they hadn’t known each other for much time, she was rather sweet and attentive with (Y/N).

She was almost afraid that any gesture might break her, bringing her away from Fallon.

And she couldn’t allow that.

So, many people in her life had left her: Alexis, Liam, Steven…

She couldn’t help but feel like it was some problem people had with her and her behavior, hence she had tried to soften it with Duncan and even more with (Y/N).

Although she hid a tougher personality, she was pretty shy and her relationship with Fallon, although went to an older date, wasn’t as smooth as Fallon’s with Duncan, who spoke business in and out of the bed and understood each other.

It still took a bit of nerves for Fallon to approach (Y/N), but she was getting better and she didn’t want this to make her back up in the entire process.

Duncan picked up the phone at the second try and seemed to already know the entire situation, which simplified Fallon’s mission, who straight up went to explain (Y/N)’s behavior, alongside the problematics of it on both her work and at home life.

“… I know that you can’t be back, but she is honestly going crazy, and she is crazy pissed with you” she mumbled, meanwhile she parked the car in the underground garage of their ‘little’ apartment, the one they shared whenever they were all in town.

“I’ll buy her a new pair of Louboutin” he mumbled, meanwhile Fallon exited her car, just to gently sit onto the front of it, not wanting to have this conversation in front of (Y/N).

She knew Duncan was joking and wasn’t taking lightly his absence, but at the same time she knew that a new pair of expensive shoes wouldn’t save him from (Y/N)’s anger.

“… that won’t be enough and that wouldn’t help me” mumbled Fallon “… I just… she is been intractable: a true fucking brat”.

“Then you know what brats deserve” spoke as if it was natural, Duncan “… they deserve to be punished, if you don’t want them to bother you anymore”.

“I am not like you Duncan!” she screamed, frustration coursing through her veins “… between me and (Y/N) there is no relationship like you and her… we… have a backstory different from yours and…”.

“Fallon” his voice focused all her attention on it, immediately and she huffed, calming finally her quickening breath “… do you actually believe that she loves you less?”.

“We don’t have the same happy relationship as you, two, do…” she huffed out definitely annoyed tht Duncan didn’t get her fear “… I was horrible to her in high school, I tormented her… and I am sure that she…”.

“… you think she hasn’t forgiven you?” Duncan’s voice was truly shocked that she hadn’t thought about it “… Fallon, she never was angry at you from the start! She might have been pretty vengeful with you but… she loves you, not more or less than me, she loves you exactly like me!”.

Although she knew all the obviousness Duncan was talking about was true, it didn’t settle in til he spoke about it and she could swear he was smirking at her silence.

“Ok, caught it boss… although I am pretty sure she loves me more, I am the one who got her that ‘La Perla’ lingerie set, last week” she tried to raise from the emotional outburst she had just had, trying to distract Duncan from it.

And he let her distract him indeed.

“… wait till I come back with my new Louboutin” he replied slyly, meanwhile she got up from the car, her ass having frozen there “… but seriously, Fallon, she won’t hate you, she is doing this to get a raise out of you; she hasn’t been receiving the same amount of attention since my trip started and she is just trying to regain it, through very bad manners”.

“Ok, I got it” she mumbled, biting her lips, meanwhile she adjusted her outfit, as she moved into the elevator to get to the penthouse “… wish me luck”.

“Tame that brat for me, sweetheart, and I’ll make you come so much next time we see each other that you’ll never know whether you are begging me to stop or keep going”.

It was useless to say that when she faced the porter, she was red as a tomato.

Fallon found (Y/N) waiting in her room.

Although (Y/N) had a shared room with the biggest bed she had found, she still needed some private room for herrself, which was either Fallon’s office or in (Y/N)’s case, her own design project, since she quite liked decorating it with the small things she found.

Not only their penthouse was stylish, but it held some kind of familiarity to it.

(Y/N) was quite proud of that effect and both Duncan and Fallon appreciated it.

But it was strange to find the other in some room that didn’t belong to them, but Fallon could see why she wouldn’t want to hang out in their shared bedroom: it was probably making her remember of Duncan’s absence.

But she wasn’t only in her room, she was also wearing Fallon’s expensive robe, treating it as if it was merely a rag, meanwhile she looked through her dresses.

And she would have found it adorable, had she asked to try out the outfit.

(She still found her adorable, but… she was pissed).

“What the heck are you doing here?” she called out (Y/N)’s attention who was rather surprised by her appearance but didn’t let it stop her from snooping even more in Fallon’s luxurious clothes, grabbing a miniskirt by Fendi as if she was in some sweatshop.

“… just grabbing some options for the event of tomorrow” she mumbled, although embarrassment was true on her face and in her tone, evidently realizing that what she had done wasn’t exactly… proper.

“Well, you know that if you want to do such thing you have to ask me before, little girl” she tried not to sound too angry with her, focusing her tone on stern, meanwhile she set down in her ‘mommy’ persona, seeing (Y/N)’s body immediately reacting at her.

“… I didn’t think you would mind it honestly” and then your voice held some kind of cutting tone to it “… it isn’t like you seem to be caring about what I did, lately”.

She then turned around, discarding Fallon’s robe away from her body, revealing the rather racy lingerie she had been wearing and in which she had taken the pictures that had teased Fallon with, during that reunion, and tried quickly the gown, adjusting it with her fingers.

But Fallon had had enough and, with no care for that gown (she had never liked it truly) she discarded it onto the floor, from her body, without a second thought, hearing (Y/N) squealing under her rough ministrations.

“… this doesn’t authorize you to act like a brat” she said, meanwhile she spread (Y/N)’s legs apart, teasing her over the silky panties, moving the little pearls that were set in the middle as a decoration over her most tender skin, avoiding her clit.

Fallon felt (Y/N) nervously tremble under her, already excited by the ministrations and he kept them up, with the barest of touches.

“… to act like a brat, to forget your place and your duties and more importantly…” and she let her tongue glide onto your panties, moving those little pearls onto the (Y/N)’s clit, who moaned loudly, but was immediately shocked when Fallon slapped lightly her thighs, taking her back from the pleasured state she was “… to fucking tease your mommy when she is busy”.

An unamused expression appeared on (Y/N)’s face, and she just tried to roll her eyes at her, but Fallon wasn’t having any of that.

She immediately raised up on her feet and grabbed tightly her face in her hands, pushing it up so that she could be at eye-level with her, which definitely stopped a bit that brattish attitude.

Although attentively, Fallon lightly pushed her onto the bed, where she fell definitely ungracefully, making her smirk softly, but she didn’t keep that attitude up as Fallon came back with lace ropes, although she still managed to send her an annoyed look.

“…oh, are you going to also get the blindfold out?” she tried her, pushing her buttons and Fallon tried not to give in.

“No, I love seeing your eyes rolling back in your head in pleasure, but because you are being a brat… I might get a gag, if you keep on speaking back at my, little girl” she mumbled, meanwhile she tied her arms over her head, into the bedframe, and then proceeded to block each legs open, securing each of them to the opposite footboard.

She immediately shut up, at the mention of the ‘gag’, making Fallon coo at her teasingly, meanwhile she pushed her clothed body onto hers, pushing her hair away from her face, as she pushed her hand down her body, till it cupped her sex in her hands, making (Y/N) moan lightly, shushed by Fallon’s lips.

She continued the teasing till her fingers finally slipped beyond the elastic band of the silky panties, as Fallon’s hand raised up to her breasts, gently kneading them, over the fabric, as (Y/N) pleaded with Fallon for something more, for more skin to skin contact.

And Fallon didn’t make her beg for it much more…

…yet

She gently lazed her hands over her wet folds, using it as a lubricating to softly let her fingers in her deepest secrets, making her huff a bit at the sudden penetration.

“…are you enjoying it, sweetie?” she teased her, raising her hand to reach her chin to tilt it softly so (Y/N) could look at her face “… because this is your punishment”.

Fallon knew that, from the way (Y/N) smirked at her, she had thought she had won, that Fallon was just going to give her the attention she been begging.

But wait till she discovered that Fallon’s plans were pretty different from hers.

Fallon continued teasing her, with her fingers, meanwhile her thumb went over her little pearl teasing it softly, before she intensified the thrusting of his finger and the movement onto her clit, decidedly making her reach that ecstasy…

… that she stole from her, interrupting any action that she was delivering on her pinky nest.

“… you wanted attention, well now you have all my attention” smirked Fallon, before she lowered between her legs, delving exploratively her tongue between her folds, meanwhile she screamed, the oversensitivity between her legs definitely coming handy for this punishment “… now don’t mind mommy’s teasing, I just want to make sure that your amusement doesn’t end up too quickly”.

And it certainly didn’t.

Now you would finally know better than to act up like a brat.

… maybe.

#duncan shepherd #duncan shepherd reader #duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd imagine #duncan shepherd fic #duncnan shepherd smut #duncan shepherd drabble #duncan shepherd blurb #duncan shepherd ask #fallon carrington #fallon carrington reader #fallon carrington x reader #fallon carrington imagine #dynasty #house of cards #hoc imagine #dynasty imagine

[itsdaggerandsheath]

An Introduction to Sex (Part 2)

               To be quite honest with you, I don’t know when Fanfiction first really became popular or mainstream, nor do I know if it’s still those things. What I do know though was that it was a huge influence on my knowledge of sexuality as I was growing up. A good chunk of my education on sex as an… ”activity”, rather than solely a means of reproduction, came from Fanfiction.

               It’s occurring to me that perhaps some people reading this may not know what Fanfiction is, so I suppose I should attempt to explain it before I really get on with the story.

               Have you ever watched a TV show and really wished that your two favorite characters would just fall in love already?! With Fanfiction, you can write your own perfect story on how you picture that special moment happening, then publish it online for other people to read. Have you ever had a massive celebrity crush that you just wish would notice you? You can write a Fanfiction all about said celebrity falling for a character based on you! Anything goes with Fanfiction, really. Do you think the singer of your favorite band is into BDSM? Write a fic about them tying you up and ass-fucking you (or a character that you come up with) until the ropes make your wrists bleed. What about a disturbingly specific and detailed fic about your favorite band members squirting milk up the bottom’s asshole to clean out for anal sex (with more emphasis on the milk than the sex itself)? Yup, that exists. What about a fic involving your favorite YouTubers in which a live hamster is shoved up the sub’s asshole and the dom fills an entire hat with semen? Yes, it’s out there. (Bonus points to anyone who knows which fics I’m referring to).

               While some Fanfictions are wonderfully crafted love stories full of heart and passion, others…aren’t. And hey, smut is fine, I’ve read *cough* and written *cough* plenty of it myself. But surely, you would think, that the more explicit Fanfictions wouldn’t be accessible to those under the age in which it would be appropriate to read them, right?

               Wrong.

               I was eleven years old.

               I’d first come to discover Fanfiction through my favorite Disney television show at the time, Austin and Ally. Yes, that show that Ross Lynch was on. It was my favorite show in my tweens, and I wanted the two main characters – Austin and Ally, obviously – to end up becoming a couple so badly. My original goal was to see if maybe the writers of the show had hinted at the possibility of the two characters becoming a couple in an interview or something. So, I pulled out my phone – because my parents thought it was smart to let an eleven year old have a cellphone with full Internet access – and simply typed in, “When will Austin and Ally get together?”

               I did not find an interview with the show’s writers – instead, I found chatrooms, wiki forums, and YouTube videos from young people like myself who all had the same opinions on the subject as myself. I then clicked on a link that I thought was just going to be a post on some website from someone talking about how they wanted these characters to end up together like I did, but it was actually a link to a story on Fanfiction.net that I read and finished in the same day. From then on, I was hooked.

               Now, right away, I noticed that these stories had a rating system. I’m not sure if the rating system for Fanfiction.net has changed at all since it’s been years since I’ve been on there, but at the time, it was something like rated G, PG, T, and M (there might have been a T+ in between T and M, but I don’t remember). As I was eleven at the time, I stuck to the G and PG stories. Who would write rated M stories about a Disney show anyway? Oh, how naïve I was.

               One day, I read the summary for a new story that sounded exciting, so I opened it up without looking at the rating or the word count. All I saw was how many people at commented, so I figured it was a popular story that a lot of people liked! Turns out, it was a 300-word one-shot (meaning, it was a single chapter) consisting of Ally naked on her knees saying “please” over and over again while Austin rubs one out and eventually comes all over her face.

               I would like to issue a formal apology to Ross Lynch and Laura Marano.

               Seeing as I was eleven, I was traumatized, and was extra careful from then on (for a while, at least) to always check if the story was rated M.

               I was just so confused. I’d grown up being told that touching yourself was wrong, so why was there a one-shot about it on Fanfiction. And why did he do it on her face?! Such a concept had been unheard of to me at the time (because I was eleven). I was disgusted. I felt sick. I felt dirty. I felt wrong.

               I felt curious.

               But I was so afraid that I’d read something else strange or that I’d never known people to do sexually, I was afraid of what I’d learn, that despite my curiosity, I didn’t intentionally click on a rated M fic again until I was twelve. By this time, I’d had my first period and a few more, so I’d officially began puberty and became even more curious about sexuality. So, I began to search specifically for rated M Fanfictions because I wanted to know more about what sex was like and I was too scared to watch porn (we’ll get to that in Part 3).

               What I experienced while I read these sex scenes was something new, exciting. Why did I feel a throbbing sensation in my vulva? Why was I getting a tingling sensation like I had to pee? Why was my underwear getting wet? As I continued to read more and more of this erotic Fanfiction, I read about the female characters feeling similar sensations when they were feeling “aroused” or “horny”, which were new words for me. Why did I have to learn this through Fanfiction rather than in school?

               I then showed my new discovery to all my friends (of course). I remember when my entire cheerleading team had a sleepover, I’d told two of my closest friends on the team that I’d found Fanfiction with sex in it. Later that night, as the three of us lay in our sleeping bags with me in the middle, we huddled together to read the erotica on my phone. I remember them asking me things like, “How do girls come?”, “What does *insert word here* mean?” and “How does *insert sexual act here* work?”. I remember I loved telling them what I knew, like I had some fantastic, secret knowledge, and that it was my duty to share it with everyone I knew my age. So, I did. Soon all my friends were reading smutty Fanfictions.

               While still in my Disney phase, I ventured into the world of gay and lesbian fics as well. I didn’t know how sexual encounters worked between those of the same sex worked, so I read them more so out of curiosity rather than in search for arousal. However, I found that they aroused me anyway. I remember the first time I read a lesbian Fanfiction wishing I was in the characters’ shoes (I hadn’t realized I was bisexual yet, but that was a decent indicator), and then I read a fic with a threesome between two men and a woman and wondered why I hadn’t read it sooner.

               Why hadn’t I learned how same-sex couples have sex at all in school? Why didn’t I learn that males having sex with other males should still use condoms? Or that females having sex with other females should use dental dams? Why did I have to learn about these through Fanfiction of all things?

               By age fourteen, I had graduated from Austin and Ally and Fanfiction.net, and I eventually moved into my emo phase where I ventured into the world of band fics on Wattpad (I would also like to issue a formal apology to Chris Motionless and all of Motionless in White). It was here that I learned about BDSM – and Tumblr, but we’ll talk about that in Part 3. I was reading Wattpad stories about my favorite band, Motionless in White, and I’m pretty sure in every sex scene I ever read involving a girl and one of the band members (I mostly stuck to the ones about Chris because I adore him to this day) had mentions of spanking or some other form of impact play, and bondage was also seen very often, and occasionally a ball gag here and there. A common fantasy, it would seem, among young girls from all over the world who were probably far too young to be writing out such fantasies about men in their thirties. Oh yeah, sexual Fanfiction is plenty toxic too. I was fourteen reading brutal sex scenes about men who were way older than me, and a lot of the rougher/BDSM-esque fics were written in a way that made it seem like the sub was actually being raped as opposed to consenting to what was going on.

               Luckily, I saw this pretty quickly and knew that it was wrong, and I made sure to stop reading a Fanfiction if it seemed to be portraying rape in a romantic light. It’s likely that the person who wrote the Fanfiction didn’t intentionally mean to make the “sex” scene look like rape (although, having a girl scream “No, I don’t want to!” but then all of the sudden enjoying it once the guy forces himself inside of her should very obviously be seen was wrong), and they were just uneducated.

               And then, by age 16, I began reading exclusively gay Fanfiction about my favorite YouTubers, Dan Howell and Phil Lester – who I will not be issuing a formal apology to because they have stated that they whole-heartedly support Fanfiction, and have even gone as far as to read Fanfiction about themselves in videos, write Fanfiction about themselves for their book, and perform a parody of a Fanfiction about them live on stage in front of thousands of people. So. Anyway. I learned a lot about butt sex. Do you think they teach you about lube in school? Nah. But I learned about it from gay YouTuber Fanfiction.

               In Part 3 (which will be the last part of this series) I’ll discuss how websites like Tumblr and YouTube shaped my views on sexuality before I actually started having sex, and both the positive and negative impacts they had on me. In the meantime, have you ever read an extremely sexual Fanfiction that lowkey traumatized you? Did you get the most of your sex education from a probably-not-reliable-source like I did? Tell me your stories in the comments, or feel free to message me on Instagram @daggerandsheath

               I love you all and thank you so much for reading!

-          Dagger and Sheath

[charlielabouff]

count on me → barlie

WHO: @charlielabouff and @bianca-sommers

WHEN: The weekend after her mass text

WHERE: The Softball Field. 

WHAT: Charlie’s got an important question for Bianca. 

Charlie didn't even know when the wedding was gonna happen. Her sister was pressuring her to make it sooner than she had really wanted it. Sure, plans were nice, but for once she kinda just wanted to go with the flow for something. The blonde had written on a softball, asking the brunette to be her maid of honor -- just because she wasn't sure if the whole 'proposal boxes' were really her thing. And maybe she wanted to make it a little more lowkey. She let out a soft breath, watching as Bianca tossed the ball at her -- ready to swing at it but purposely completely missing. "Oh, fuck. Sorry," she stated, moving to go grab the ball, but she switched it with the one that she'd written on. She tossed it toward the brunette, badly so it would fall in the grass and she'd have to take a moment to read it. "I must be off my game."

Bianca was still shocked that Charlie was getting married. At first she'd just assumed her friend wanted to change her name sooner rather than later, so that she'd have the right name on her jersey when she went pro or something, and then she'd thought that Charlie was maybe pregnant. But no, she just really loved Wes, and Bianca guessed that was a pretty cool reason to want to get married crazy young if one ever existed. As long as she didn't lose her best friend to wife life, she didn't really care either way; all that mattered to her was Charlie's happiness. Well... Charlie's happiness, and still having someone to toss around a softball with her on a chilly fall afternoon. "You totally suck today," Bianca teased in agreement as Charlie first dropped a ball, and then made a terrible throw. "You're not going all soft on me already, are..." Bianca had started to call out as she leaned down to pick up the ball, but stopped herself mid-sentence as she realized there were words on it. She blinked at it for a second, confusion etched on her face. This had to be a mistake, right? She'd assumed that Tia was Charlie's maid of honor, but the words on the ball told a different story. She stared at Charlie, at a loss for words, a lump in her throat that she finally cleared to ask, "Um... what is this?"

Charlie waited as she watched her friend, her teeth sinking into her lower lip. She thought the decision was gonna be hard, but it honestly hadn’t. With Tia consistently bugging her about her plans for the wedding, one that she hadn’t been planning on having for a while, and just how slightly obnoxious it was just cemented the idea of Bianca being her Maid of Honor. Bianca got her more than Tia, they had more common. Not that she didn’t love her sister, but to her, she was gonna be stressed as it was. If anyone knew how to calm her down, it was Bianca. She cleared her throat, shifting slightly and rubbing the back of her neck with her gloved hand. “It’s uh — me asking you to be my maid of honor. Not that we’re getting married any time soon, but I just — I dunno,” she breathed, shifting awkwardly between her feet.

Bianca gaped at Charlie. She tried to close her mouth and reopen it to speak, but her jaw just hung slack with shock for what felt like an eternity. Charlie meant so much to her, and if this day ever came for Bianca, it was so easy to picture Charlie as the one by her side - but somehow, she'd never imagined that she'd be that person for Charlie. She didn't care, not really, that Charlie had Wes and Tia and had had both of them so much longer than she'd had Bianca, but it made her heart swell with happiness to know that she didn't have to have been there since diapers to mean as much to her friend as she did. Something pricked at Bianca's eyes, and the unfamiliar sensation of tears rolling down her cheeks made her swat at the wetness before wrapping her arms around Charlie in a giant hug. She was completely choked up as she finally managed an, "Oh my God, yes. Yes, yes, yes, of course I'll do it." 

Charlie watched her carefully, moving her hands in front of her to twist her fingers -- a nervous habit of hers. She knew that everyone probably thought that they were dumb. Like, why on earth would they be engaged so young? Crazy people did that. But she wasn't planning on getting married soon. She just didn't know if Wes felt the same. Her eyes searched her face, swallowing the lump in her throat seeing the tears beginning to form in her friends eyes. Her own tears began to form in her own; she'd never seen Bianca cry. Her arms wrapped around her, her fingers curling into her shirt and she let out a laugh/sob, holding the brunette as close to her as possible. "I couldn't imagine anyone else on my other side, y'know?" she managed out, letting out another half laugh and half sob, "I mean, Tia's great but she's already driving me nuts. And I know I'm probably gonna be a mess, and you know how to make me -- y'know, not a mess."

Bianca couldn't believe how readily the tears were flowing down her cheeks now, but this was a huge deal. Her best friend was getting married , and she didn't care where or when it happened -- didn't even care to who really, although she was glad it was Wes -- as long as she got to be there with her. "Shut up," she protested weakly, laughing through her tears. "I've totally cried before, I cried when you left!" she admitted, clinging onto Charlie tightly. It was so good to have her back, and even better to know that not a single thing had changed between them; she still loved the blonde just as much as she always had, and now she was going to get to share the most special day of her life with her. Her voice was still watery, the tears still falling no matter how much she willed them to knock it off, as she said, "Oh, God, Tia's not going to try to murder me, is she? Because we all know I could take her in a smackdown, but I don't want to have to. She'll never let you hear the end of it if I make her look busted before your engagement pictures or something."

Charlie couldn't stop crying, which wasn't a big deal to her because she was always crying, but seeing Bianca's unstoppable tears just made her weep even more. She let out a soft laugh, clinging to her best friend and she shook her head. "I didn't see it, so that doesn't count! This time I see it." She'd missed her a lot when she went back home, more than she probably would ever really admit. Maybe if Bianca had been with her, she would've stopped her from being so stupidly jealous all the time. The blonde pulled away just so she could look at her, letting out a soft laugh and she reached up to wipe at her cheeks. "She won't if we don't tell her. I've gotta -- I've gotta figure out how to break the news to her without pissing her off." Which would've been impossible. 

Bianca finally paused her crying to snort at Charlie's statement. Not telling Tia -- that seemed like the world's biggest pipe dream, considering how invested the older La Bouff was sure to be in the whole situation. Still, it would be kind of fun, watching her freak out about it, getting to shut down some of her less-Charlie oriented ideas because Bianca was the one calling the shots... But none of it would be as fun as Charlie. Getting married. The words were still sinking in, but it was so exciting for Bianca, as good as winning any game except maybe a championship. Maybe winning a championship would be her own wedding someday, if she ever had one of those. "This is going to be amazing," Bianca laughed, pulling Charlie in for another tight hug, the last of her tears probably falling into her friend's hair. "God, I'm so happy for you. And we so got this -- together."

#( interaction: bianca )

[sunnysidewrites]

99 Bad, 1 Good: Jeonghan

You could think of the many reasons why they were bad for you, toxic, deadly, harmful. But why was the one good reason enough for you to stay?

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warnings: i went slightly easier w the angst and tried to make it slightly fluffy at the end. just to make it up for the hard angst im uploading later :)))!!!! happy bday my angel + devil!!!!

His smile that’s alluring in the best and worst ways possible. How can someone master being an angel and a devil so easily?

His hair that he always runs his fingers in, the movement hypnotizing you

His innocent giggle with mischievous undertones

When he uses his giggle to get himself out of anything

“Jeonghan, why aren’t the dishes clean?” “I don’t know *giggles*”

How you love the way he laughs that you begrudgingly always let him get away with it

When he crashes at your place out of the blue

“Because your bed is comfier” is his constant answer

How he always misses your appointments bc he was busy napping

How he naps e v e r y w h e r e

On your bed

On your couch

On your kitchen counter

In your car

On your backpack

On your shoulder

How he could get ten hours of sleep and still wouldn’t be able to get up on time

When he senses your downcast expression and moves in to hug you

Either a back hug but his arms are around your shoulders rather than your waist, or a bear hug

When he softly kisses your head and pats your back saying that things will be okay

How you would be sitting and doing your own thing when he abruptly shows up and puts his head on your lap

“What are you doing?!”

He would close his eyes, his arm slung over his eyes

A slow sad smile would creep on his beautiful face and the only words he would say are, “it’s been a long day”

How you instantly feel bad after studying his slow breathing and the way he wouldn’t be as talkative as usual

So you let him use your lap as a pillow and don’t question it for the rest of the day

When he uses aegyo

For literally anything

“You have to clean up!”

“Aaah~~~ but you wouldn’t let me do that after such a tiring day, right??~~~”

“That’s too expensive, Jeonghan….”

“I’ll treat you to dinner afterwards at your favorite restaurant~~~”

How you’re lowkey really weak for his aegyo

How he’s just so protective

And bombard you with questions about who you were talking to

“That was the TA in my class, aka the person who grades my papers”

“Um you were too close :/”

When he casually links your arms together or even sometimes holds your hand

When you’re nowhere close to being together

When he would just smile and say he wants to show you he cares about you

And you curse yourself for allowing him bc it just gives you false hope

How he would always steal a piece of your food whenever you’re not looking

His sheepish grin every time you glare at him with your food in his mouth

How he relentlessly teases you whenever you have even the slightest crush on someone

And then when he sees you smile really widely he gets all pouty

“But i’m practically your boyfriend from all the time we spend together!!”

And all you do is sigh and hit him playfully

When he needs you to cover a shift for him

But you can’t say anything about it bc this boy goes all out to make it up to you

The way he laughs so carefreely with the windows down and the wind in his hair

The way he always whines at parties and wants to go home to sleep

The way he insists on having study dates and then ends up distracting you 80% of the time

When he invites you over to play video games

And demolishes you at all of them

But he would let you win if you’re pouty enough

The way he’s leaning towards you too close for comfort when you play games

To the point where he’s pushing your body to the side and you’re leaning the opposite way too much

The way his entire persona would light up as soon as you walk into the room

When he goes to you for girl advice

And you can’t help but feel a pang in your chest

But all you do is muster up your best smile and give him pointers

When he smiles after you do and hugs you tight

When he thanks you for helping him

When he suddenly calls you up randomly late at night

When he tries again. And again.

How excited and giddy he sounds when you finally pick up after scolding you for not picking up sooner

How you should have been happy when he told you she said yes

And you were grateful he couldn’t see your face at the time

When you felt the bitterness leaving your mouth as you congratulated him

When you found out it was someone who only liked him after he cut his hair to look “more masculine”

How you always saw them from afar doing cute things

Holding hands, holding each other close, innocent forehead kisses…

When your heart broke even more as he noticed you and instantly waves to you

The way he treasured his partner but you didn’t see her reciprocating nearly half of what he was

How his entire persona would light up when she walked into the room

The way he doesn’t know why your mood always declines every time she’s there

Or the way you seem to be more down lately

He’s just utterly hopeless

And hopelessly in love

But you didn’t have the heart to say anything

When he slowly stopped talking to you as often as their relationship progressed

How you pathetically waited for a text, any text but never getting one

How as a month had passed he hadn’t spared you the slightest bit of attention

When he finally stood on your porch about two months later in the pouring rain

And you couldn’t tell whether the redness of his eyes and his drenched face were his sensitivity from the storm or the release of his tears he’s never wanted you to see

How before you could even finish asking what he was doing here, he stepped closer to you and embraced you so tightly his wet clothes were seeping into yours

How even though you were all kinds of upset at him, it all melted away when you saw and actually felt his shoulders shake

How you had to swallow your bias and comfort him when he said she ended it

How you would let him mourn around you for weeks

How when he finally did show signs of moving on, he started to get detached again

When he tried to keep his feelings in check the day you both graduated months later

How he bear hugged you again with melancholy and sorrow painted on his features

When you cleaned out your bag one day and saw an envelope addressed to you in very familiar handwriting

When you opened it up, it said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t do it in person. You deserve better.”

And you try calling him but to no avail

A little folded picture falls out and it’s of you and him playing video games

“You may have lost the game, but you won my heart a long time ago”

When the next time you run into him, he’s sitting calmly in the corner of the cafe you went together in your college days

He freezes and slowly stands up as you approach him

“You’re right. I do deserve better. So confess properly now.”

#my post #write-svt #seventeen #seventeen jeonghan #jeonghan #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen headcanons #seventeen au #seventeen series #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan headcanons #jeonghan au #99 bad 1 good #99b1g

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 8: “#StayLowAndGoGoGo” - Tom

I MADE IT WOOOOOOOO MILESTONE NUMBER 2

WE MERGED. THANK THE LORD, THE STARS AND EVERYTHING ABOVEEEE.

okay and thoughts. so evan went byebye, which was what needed to happen, super sweet, but him leaking stuff was really a mess. Merge is so exciting, I already love Caeleb, Jones & Mo, three legends already yay!

IM ALSO BACK WITH BENJ MY KING! I HAVE MISSED HIM SO MUCH.

MERGE I AM SCREAMING!!!

I am sorry Evan, we did 100% throw this challenge but hey ajdjdjf even tho we threw this challenge it was a freaking 5-4 points LOL thank god I didn’t do more than just put Marcus Lehman.

Let’s go merge, thank god I didn’t turned into pre merge flop!!

MERGE!!!!!!

IM REUNITED WITH ALI!!!!!!!! KING!!!!!!!!! im so excited omg so we had a HUGE catch up told each other all the tea of each others tribes

He suspected I was the flipper but doesn't care LOL so yay!!! Ugh I have missed him its so great to have him back as someone I can fully trust and rant to about everything! I also had Jones queen to help get me thru the tribe, just wish she replied more lol! ily guacamole . mitch also great, so glad he survived the budva decimation that I caused oops

I don't think anyone suspects me n ali are close, and everyone thinks Julia/ian/Jason are a trio and either ian or Jason have the idol LMAO this is so funny. I was even on call w the tribe and we were discussing it im thinking lolllll ik ali has it and no one else rlly does wowow

we think alex has durmitor idol bc . apparently it was not found pre swap, caeleb claims he made the end but it was gone, jones and mo don't seem active enough to guess

reunited w ian king aswell hes great, gonna meet some new ones like jules aka almia queen and tom the Australian he was cool on the call so its good ik everyone so far on this tribe except 2 ppl really, while 8 people on the tribe have not meet 4 others so I hope im connected well?

I honestly don't know what will happen from here . like is it og vs og tribe? swapped tribes? something new? IDK! All ik is my top 3 allies are ali jones mitch and I want to try get us far !! but idk how to do that so...… stay tuned

Still can’t get over that I made merge AHHHH

But wait...

THIS IS A CONSPIRACY THEORY BUT THE FREAKING COLOR OF THE MEEGE TRIBE IS SIMILAR TO MEEGE IN SWITZERLAND???! AND THE TWO STARTING TRIBES WERE LITERALLY ALMOST THE SAME COLOR. THIS WILL NOT END LIKE SWITZERLAND, IF IT DOES I AM GONNA CRY.

Anyway I got in touch with Mitch and Benj. I talked with Mitch first then I learned it was Benj who flipped during the Noah vote. I mean I honestly thought it was Mitch ahsjdjd but I guess the talk I had with Benj about rocks/ties back then was an omen. Anyway Mitch tells me he forgives Benj so I guess that’s something? Julia confirms to me that Mitch is saying the same thing to her so ok. I then chatted with Benj and he did tell me he was the one who flipped because he was not close enough with Noah to go to rocks for him which is understandable but I’m still weary on Benj.

Tom then tells me Mo and Caeleb are grilling him for JJ and Evan’s demise. Right now Tom feels that Mo/Caeleb/Alex/Jones are a thing and that they’re just using Benj. That’s kinda a good info to use to get benj on our side??

Anyways I don’t know if this is alarming or what but on the tribe call Tom told Mitch and Benj he knew about the Budva idol being found because Julia told JJ and then told everybody. I think Mitch and Benj were shocked that Tom knows? Idk I maybe paranoid but let’s see

Right now me, Julia, Jason and Ali are trying to hide the fact from Benj and Mitch that we made sort of a pact with Tom and Jules to vote together come merge. I trust Tom to know that I think he will vote with us but idk about Jules. Tho Julia and Jason seem to trust her so I hope she sticks with us!!

Last minute additions -

I got a vote cover from the choosing thing!! Drew didn’t really tell me what it did but if I had to guess what it was I’d say it’d be like,, a dark week thing where votes won’t be revealed? Who knows tbfh

SO I KNOW I'M TERRIBLE WITH WRITING CONFESSIONALS, but this is my first Survivor game, I'm not used to using Skype and it's weird having to type it to a whole other window just to get a confessional but WHATEVER ILL TRY TO DO AT LEAST ONE A DAY. Even if it's just like about random shit! Even it's just an astrology lesson! Anyways JJ, I mean, Alex is coming at me saying he thinks it's 6v6 now and i'm like......who's gonna tell him. BECAUSE EVEN IF IT'S ME NOT DOWN FOR OG DURMITOR ( i love them but game wise idk if i can hang with them ) I DAMN WELL KNOW other people might not be down for that. I'm just tired of the assumptions though I know Alex means well I'm just TIRED ugh he's a pisces moon too so he'll sense it from me so I better act NOT ANNOYED but I can't help it UGH. Did I miss the people from OG Durmitor? YES! Did I miss the gameplay and none of them calling out JJ on his shit and being surprised that JJ got out for being a crackhead? NO. NOT AT ALL.

okay so merge and I have lots of thoughts, i am gonna do it person by person so i cover it all ahh.

Alex C: Okay he lowkey terrifies me ahh. Like he is quite gamey, and both Mitch & Jules have said he is kinda leadery and potentially a bit pushy? I see him as an early merge boot (ideally), because I think he'll get a lot of attention on himself? He is fun though, and I like talking to him - we will see, maybe if idk Jones/Mo/Caeleb goes he will be a more workable ally from an underdog spot?

Ali: trash, disgusting, send him home, I never want to see that mess...

Benj: a KING, I have missed Benj so MUCH. He is such a, SUCH A KING, i love him, I'm so happy we are back together. I think he could be a great duo for me, since us two being close can be kept quite lowkey ha! We will figure it out, but he is going NOWHERE on my watch

Caeleb: Okay he is like... one of the only other newbies left in the game, and is potentially quite lowkey, so I'd like him to stick around for a while I think ahh! He seems super sweet, and could be someone to go to the end with if my faves go bye bye.

Ian: I've said it since round two, and I will continue to say it. Ian is the biggest threat in the game, I've been knew and I'm not dropping it. I will not allow him to go far, like he is super nice, but also... we are not allowing a threat like Ian to walk to the end.

Jason: Similar to Ian, I'm really feeling duo vibes with him and Ian, maybe even a trio with Julia I'm not sure? He scares me less than Ian, and I'd probs want Ian out first versus Ian? He still is also a king tho, even though I always get vibes that he doesn't like me eeeek

Jones: A legend! I can tell already, I fully get legendary vibes from her. But like... it makes me upsetti spaghetti that I really don't think I can let her get too far, like she... is someone I could see as a season winner, so she might need to go sooner rather than later, although getting her out might be easier said than done tbh

Jules: Okay an icon. Jules we LOVE in this house. I literally stan Jules with my 100% full heart, they know ALL and on my watch? they go NOWHERE. my clout is being used to keep an eye on Jules, even tho they are a much better player than me, and they will be able to watch their own back and go super far

Julia: Witch queen. I want her to go really far too tbh, like I love her and am so happy we have actually been able to work together this season. She told me about her self-vote thing she got from the merge feast, which is a big trust display. I think if I can get her woke about Ian/Jason, she could be a big ally and super important about my game long term. I think if we can get Alex C out particularly (since apparently they have history), then maybe she will be more willing to FINALLY make a move on them.

Mitch: I'm always sketched out by him KASDFA. Like I think he would work with me for sure, but I also like... don't know sometimes, like... he knows I was gonna vote him out premerge, can that go away? I think he could be a good ally moving forwards though , we will have to see.

Mo: MY SON. I MISS HIM. I'M SO HAPPY HE DOESN'T HATE, I THOUGHT HE DID. Its super exciting and like I said before, he is doing super good this season and I'm super proud of him. I wanna go far with him, but I think not being on a tribe with him till merge could be an obstacle to that ahh :(

Tom: Tom is a mega-cracked king. Like he is SO entertaining, and on a personal level I really vibe with him. I will not do him dirty, and I wanna go to the end of this game with him. We will see what happens, would love to be a juror voting for him at the end.

So overall final thoughts. I have a dream F4 alliance of 'The Flippers and the Flop' aka me, Tom, Jules & Benj, since those three flipped on their original tribe and I'm a flop. So I want that as F4, Julia at F5 (but maybe further, I love her too), and then for the rest:

6th: Mo 7th: Caeleb 8th: Mitch 9th: Jones 10th: Jason 11th: Ian 12th: Alex C.

We will see and figure it out and be flexible. Its gonna be a mess, but we will see. I just wanna make confirmed jury, then I just wanna play a bomb game, like finalist-schminalist, i just wanna end the season and my game not being an actual joke KASDFLAS.

hi i just wanted an idol

Okay so i dont know like when the last time i did one of these was but lets just start at last tribal council; I am lowkey so glad that evan is gone and we didnt try anything too fancy he really would've made merge that bit messier. But uhm also why the heck did he have to vote me grrr i wanted to try to not get any votes for a really long time but oh well cant have everything good happen in life.

M E R G E!!!!!!!! Yesssss finally merge has happened the playing field is even and i am ready to rumble. Bit nervous to see where abouts i stand in the tribe because i didnt feel very included in the original durmitor tribe and there are two people i havent met in benj and mitch.

Okay so like wtf is going on right now, sure say hello and all that shit but why is Mo, Alex and Caeleb like proper interviewing me, who do you think you are ELLEN? No youre not please stop investigating on what happened between jj and evan vote offs like i do not owe y'all anything..... i was probably going next if we didnt have that first swap! I am more than happy to tell them like what happened just it will be altered in favour of myself and they wont get the full indepth explanation.

Sorry I don’t have a vid confessional today laid ease

But um ya I think I’m getting TARGETTEEEEEEEEED or at least someone within the durmitor dominators group is. WHich is SKETCHY!! Idk it just feels really obvious since that core group of 4 literally,,, tag teamed all 4 of us first ,,, hello??? Mam?? I get we just met like 2 days ago but you could be a lil more discreet ab everything 😤

But ik we can’t just assume based on that,, If we’re just going by that logic then their hitlist is Alex, Caeleb, myself, then Mo. but idt it could be that,,, concrete?? They could just be playing us like Noah/Michael/Mitch TRIED to do before,, but we got them so ya 🥰 anyways,,

If we can somehow get a plan out of them or at least a name then we’ll be ok,,, that way we’ll at least know what’s going on for SOME PART. Mitch and julia seem kiiiind if close? So hopefully she’ll tell him some shit and come back to me ab it - if I have to play the idol then,,,, I guess,,, I will,,, but I don’t want to. Like let me save it for when IM in trouble at least sksksk who knows,, maybe I AM in trouble and I’m just a crackhead 🤷🏻‍♀️

But ya that’s my rant I’ll be back soon laid ease mwah

Okau so like woo! i won the first immunity of the season how bloody exciting! I honestly was confident going into the challenge however i didnt know whether or not i was going to win. I love the fact that i got shot 0 times so i literally could've gone asleep and potentially still won lol. But at this point my mission of staying low and go go go'ing has to be intact i cannot seem like a big threat in this game it doesnt get me far. So im telling everyone that im surprised and that it was really just based on luck and based on nothing so my target does not grow! So glad to have immunity in this game honestly first merge boot probably wasnt going to be BUT i know this round can get fucking messy so anything could've changed #StayLowAndGoGoGo

okay this is a grr grr angry confessional. WHY IS EVERYONE BEING DUMB AND JUST BEING ATTACHED TO TRIBE LINES. Like I messaged Jones, Mo and Alex about it yesterday, and Jones my meme queen gave like a good response, but Mo particularly I was like... wut?

Like Mo is my org son from all the way back in Azores, so I always have his back... but like... when someone messages you about being uncomfortable with tribe lines and not wanting to stick to them, giving the HEAVIEST HINT POSSIBLE that I'm not attached to like Ian and Jason, your response should not be 'I'm just accepting my fate'... Like that is such a red flag to me, no player should just... be resigned to stuff? Like Mo PLEATHE.

In other other news, we love Jules still. Tom is being weird recently, I think he doesn't trust me anymore, so I think my dream at the moment is a F3 of Jules and Benj, Tom 4th and Julia 5th? Mitch terrifies me (and he knows I shot him, which caused even more distrust), Alex is super nice but is like... evidently not trusting of me, Mo is my son but I wanna SHAKE HIM, Jones is my fave I love her already, really like Caeleb too he is so nice.

I'm just frustrated, I feel like.. people aren't willing to do enough and its making me frustrated I just wanna scream. Like at this point, I expect to go midjury, like 9th, and I'm thinking who I'd vote. I would vote Jules, because they are always on the ball and their read is unmatched, I'd vote Ian because he has playing smart since round one, I'd vote Benj because he is one of the few that has his head screwed up about not blindly sticking to tribe lines.

Of the rest? I'd like to vote for Tom/Jones, but would probs need to see more gamey game from both. I could respect Mitch's story to get to the end, but don't necessarily see myself voting him. I could vote Julia or Jason. The one who is currently least likely to get my vote is probably Mo, I am just... frustrated with him. Like he could do SO GOOD, I just wanna give his head a proper wobble, like.... LISTEN TO ME. I am telling you I would flip just READ KSALDFA.

I ranked who I'd vote for in FTC if I was a juror so far and its currently:

Jules > Ian > Benj > Mitch > Julia > Tom > Jason > Jones > Alex C. > Caeleb > Mo

And the order in which I trust people is:

Jules/Benj > Julia > Tom > Ian > Jason > Caeleb > Jones > Mo > Alex C. > Mitch

I have thoughts. I know its been a hot sec since I have sent one in but I have been just busyyy. So this one might be long and it'll have all my thoughts post-merge.

My first thought: Being reconnected with old tribemate (Jules and Tom). I love Jules. She's so kind and wonderful, might be hard to reach occasionally but when she messages its always full and heartfelt. I think that can go a long way in this game as she's fun to talk to and makes you feel like she's with you. So that also mean shes very dangerous of course. Tom is less so fun. He's kinda sarcastic kinda hard to read kinda edgy. He always acts like he's a little too busy for things. But he is fun and he has fed me a lot of information about Budva post swap, so thank him for that. BUT I'm like lowkey really annoyed with him. Losing that last challenge on purpose was dumb as hell. I know Evan is deceitful and hard to work with, but like hell keep that in your head and get him off as an easy vote right after merge. Because If they hadn't lost and instead we had gone to tribal (Durmitor), then we hopefully would've lost Mitch, secured the dynamic as 7 OG Durmitor vs. the 5 OG Budva, and it would have been much harder for Tom and Jules to chose the Budva members over the numbers. Obviously this works best for me and OG Durmitor but that just means that I don't know what Tom and Jules are thinking and overall that means I can't really trust them.

Second thought: That challenge was actually really fun. It put this merge into perspective and CLEARLY showed where people are at right now. The fact that OG Budva was so organized in their slaughter and got out Alex like hella fast and then me before we got out any of them was so showing. They are tight and they will remain to be tight. The fact that they were able to be so coordinated seems scary as well. AS it might mean that Tom or Jules or even Mitch or Benj is actually working with them to make sure we didn't win that immunity. Plus Tom won it and that is scary to me because I already was wary about trusting him in the first place. Putting thought one and two together makes me wary overall, because that means that together Tom and Jules and Mitch and Benj might be choosing to work with old Budva (I mean Tom and Jules don't have any inhibitions about voting out old tribemembers so) and old Durmitor might just be screwed.

Third thought: Annoyed that I was shot and destroyed second. I thought I was making a good impression with everyone. Maybe its not a good indication but also sad face.

Fourth thought: New tribe members! I love them all to an extent. Ali seems to be fun to talk to and likes chatting back and forth. But also he did say he was surprised I was out so early and since I know that Alex didn't shoot Julia then he was definitely shooting me. So I don't think I trust that all too much and he might be too sneaky. Jason seems nice. Not much to say our conversation has been pleasant but only so. The same with Ian tbh. They seem cool but thats it. Julia is fun and her background makes her seem like a total bad ass and a really cool lady, but she's been soooo hella dismissive of me. I don't like the way she's playing the game. I think she's putting on an act and playing a character to throw people off. I heard she was like sad or crying(?) that someone shot her and Tom confronted me about it. And sure I shot her but like hell thats the game. I'm 90 percent sure she was shooting me. I'm annoyed, and people seem to love her which just makes me think she's being dismissive to me because she thinks I won't be around too much longer and she doesn't have to put in the effort. And that's dumb, like if I do go I really hope this is the start of the Jury because I will have something spicy to say to her in the event she makes it to Final Tribal. Or maybe things will change and I will learn to really like her and stuff.

Fifth Thought: Game plan for tomorrow. My strategy going forward is simply to be not targeted tomorrow. That is truly the crux of it, because at this point I think I might get votes. I know that apparently I have a habit of getting votes in a new tribe (David and then Noah) so honestly I can see it happening, especially if they are worried about Alex having an idol and they got him out of the challenge first just to vote me. But if I can survive then I think I can go a little farther. The power struggle right now is 3 groups of 4 battling. There's the total Budva members, the total Durmitor members, and then the middle ground (Jules, Tom, Benj, and Mitch). I asked Tom who was more important the original tribes or the new ones and he said he wants it to be old but most likely will be new which basically means that he will vote with Budva. So in the event I survive with numbers I'll ride that until I need Alex (and his idol that I'm prettttty sure that he has but I can't be sure) out and will try to rally that we need him to be gone. If I survive but I'm not on the side of the numbers I wanna create a good bond with Ali and Jules as were all newbies and work that until we can start eating Budva from the inside. I'll see though DKSDSKDSK. I don't think it would be wise to concrete that before this first vote because their reasons for voting off JJ and Evan was apparently that they were making alliances with everyone. I don't want them to see me that way.

Sixth Thought: Okay another Idol Bridge BIG OOF. Those are hard as hell, and I am so confident that both tribe idols are gone which means there might be 3 idols out there pretty soon which is scary as hell. Durmitor Dominators are hoping to work together to get it and maybe we can actually use that together rather than having it hidden like this time. (Which I really think that Alex has it but whatev). If I'm idoled out imma be so sad but like also okay thats an okay way to go.

Have fun with this. Feel free to chop it up into mini confessionals or use it in its entirety. Up to you! Love ya hosts ur beautiful

okay a gamey and a dumb update.

julia proper wants to flip on ian and jason which iconic... its truly time. I wasn't necessarily going to vote them out first, but if that's what is gonna happen, that is what's gonna happen.

in a memey update, JJ just got cast in another game and it reminded me of a JJ-ism I never confessed about. JJ was on call and showing me... a pet in a glass box, but i didn't know what the pet was or what it was supposed to be, because I couldn't see it. but he was like wow isn't it cute, so i fully called a stick which was the only thing i could see, cute. a STICK.

anyway so like.... back to game. i think the merge boot will be ian or jason which dun dun dun! its probs overdue and will happen, or it'll be me! we will see anyway

why am i drinking white wine with julia on call at 3am, we are truly the wine mum duo drinking our way till the end

I think I'm in the middle of everything atm, which is a weird place for me to be. I'm not in the center, I'm not looking from the outside in, I'm not really a part of anything major or in any alliances and it's an odd feeling. I know I need to do something to secure myself in something but everything in this game just feels up in the air, it's odd. I don't know if it's just how Survivor is, but it's a very strange feeling not having a proper grasp on what's going on with EVERYONE. I have ideas but not a lot of real confirmation for much besides Jason/Ian, Mo/Jones, etc. Anyways. IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY OKAY I'm boring AF this game

Ok so for starters the immunity challenge ended after 2 hours of its posting adhgfjgs Tom won so big woo for him.

The Budva baes agreed to target Alex/Mo/Caeleb/Jones in this challenge and we got Mitch, Tom and Jules to work with us. Well kinda because the four (Me, Ali, Julia and Jason) of us were the ones who did most of the shooting to eliminate the Durmitor four and we just like went back and forth eliminating one another. I was the first to die in my group so big yikes!! I don't know if that's an omen idk but I do know that I was killed by grandma jones. So I killed grandma too oops!

Anyway, fast forward to today. I got an idol clue from the Hamburger but idk if this will help me get the idol hfjhsgf. So I shared it to Budva Baes and with Tom. Who knows we might get it idk.

In other news, on call Jules flipped because of an earthquake jgfjshgf

A tribe call happened that had almost everyone except Jones and Benj join which lasted about like 3-4 hours?? Anyway, me, julia, jules, jason, ali, mitch and alex played cards against humanity so that was fun!

After Alex and Jules left the call, the five of us who remained then proceeded to plan for the vote. As of now I think we're gonna throw our votes towards Caeleb because apparently he doesn't talk to them that much? I do talk with Caeleb but nothing game related so I guess I'm on board with that. We're not gonna target Alex rn because Julia mentioned that Alex might wanna work with budva people? or that maybe just a ploy, either way Julia and Mitch thinks Alex has the durmitor idol so that's something to be weary.

If I had my way I want to target Jones because during the call, Mitch and Julia expressed how they want her to stay and how they insta love her and to me that's kinda dangerous. But rn I don't think the numbers are their for me to go after Jones. Another hot topic on the call we had was Benj. I'm really becoming more weary of Benj because umm idk even tho we talk I feel like he's hiding something.

So far, the plan is for Julia to approach Jules about voting Caeleb. Jules is important for this vote because she's like in the middle rn and we need numbers. Also ghasgdd julia got a freaking auto-vote on herself for this incoming tribal council so we are screwed if they vote for Julia. Tom is also important but me and Jason have an alliance with him that Ali and Julia are not aware of so he's good hopefully.

Anyways as of now, the plan is Caeleb (which kinda sucks because I kinda like him) but who knows whats gonna happen. Just hope things go in my favor for this vote.

Apparently I’m a secondary target for the vote, but I’m like oddly at peace? Maybe it’s because I’m super tired but being anxious is never fun so I’m relieved that I’m so calm.

This tribal is so freakin messy. Literally everybody be crackheads and I am a freakin crackhead. I knew Mitch was gonna do me in again, I am sad that JJ blew up chances with Tom working with us, and I can't trust Jules because she's right in the middle. I think Benj is still with us. But gosh they'll vote me tonight and I wannnnna survive. If only I could like strongarm whoever has this freakin idol into playing it for me.

Anyways, I love Grandma's boys. They're all sweet and nice and wonderful and I want us to get this to work out. I hope Alex can work his magic, but also I hate that this has turned me into someone who is just riding the coattails at this point. Maybe I need to do some FREAKIN crackheadidness but hell we'll freakin see.

ALSO

Jones has the IDOL OOOOOOOOOO. I think she might play it for me if things are looking bad. Literally my grandma is the most amazing I love her. Things be crazy and cracked here in Podgorica but the spice is nice.

okay this confessional is a call out post, to basically the entire cast except for jules and benj. like its negative and mean, so I'm gonna scream, and then write some actually strategy and smart stuff KLDSAFAS.

Julia. I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART, but. You have got us into such a pickle and are playing the middle too aggressively, dragging me kicking and screaming with you. Why would you make a Budva chat yesterday, to flip on it TODAY, that is such, SUCH a quick turn around

Alex. You are so sweet, and I really enjoyed the call yesterday, but you are already terrifying as an ally and are giving off JJ game vibes. This 'alliance' I'm in, of Jules/Julia/Me/Alex/Mo/Jones... terrifies me, WHY IS NOBODY TALKING. And then I love how Alex was like 'lets vote out someone from each side across two rounds' and then like... suggests Jason, a) one name b) one vote. And then it's like... he goes okay maybe Mitch the following round? Another OG Budva? I have to laugh, I have to LAUGH, this alliance is so fake askdlfaf. I love everyone in this alliance as people, but as allies I'm not feeling it.

Jones. You are a legend, and naming my plants was so fun, but you go so crickets its really scary, like it just looks SO sus. I wish you were more open gamey, I really wanna work with you grrrr.

Mo. Mo is my son, and I love him, but oh. my. god. is he frustrating to play with JLSAKDFAF. I have never played with someone who is so passive and who literally... does not say anything. Like on calls, he is so fun because he is the sweetest and a great guy, but his only comments and contributions have been 'I think I am going' and 'I have accepted my fate'. mo, MO, you can't be doing this and pulling these shenanigans, you are so likable just... give it a go and play the game HNNNGH.

okay that was mean and negative but I fully needed to scream. To clarify my situation, last night Julia made a chat of all the Budvas - Benj after the call, and we settled on voting Caeleb? But Julia wants to flip, and formed this group with Alex of them two, me, Jones, Jules & Mo. Like Julia, I get playing the middle, but this is playing. the. middle. I didn't want to be in such a middle position I hate this so much SKADLFASF.

It's really frustrating. I want Ian/Jason/Alex out because they all terrify me on a game level. But Julia has put us in the middle in a way that we are gonna have NO NUMBERS TO MAKE A MOVE UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Like I just wish she ASKED me before she made a group with Alex that I got dragged into.

I feel like me and Jules have to just... get in with Mitch. Its the only way. And Caeleb too I guess? Like I think the alliance I'm going to need is like... Me/Tom/Jules/Caeleb/Benj/Mitch... like that's a 6, and with Julia might be the numbers we need going forward.

I'm like... not gonna win this season I know it already. Jason is gonna be furious with me, as is Ian. And then I'm gonna have to flip BACK in two rounds. This is literally the exact game I've played before that hasn't worked.

Having said that, the main thing I did wrong before was that I didn't own my moves. So I need to own it, when I vote out Jason I need to talk to Ian and pull me in, so we can just... remove Alex. I just want everyone gone already askdlfa, its so so so tiring.

Here is what I want to happen now:

Ian > Alex > Jason > Mo > Jones > Mitch > Caeleb > Julia > Tom > F3: Me/Jules/Benj

but like... its just... im in such a bad mood about all this, its really... just enough.

Also for the funsies, if I was a juror, at FTC from most to least, this is who I'd vote for so far:

Jules > Benj > Mitch > Ian > Julia > Jason > Tom > Caeleb > Alex > Jones > Mo

So this tribal is shaping up in our favor... hopefully. I think Jason's for sure going now at least. It should be a 9-3 vote if everyone's telling the truth... which would make it so easy to split the votes because I'm pretty sure Jason or Ian have the idol. The most we can hope for is make them think Caeleb is going home for sure.

Pray for me. I don't wanna be a merge boot. I feel like I have a lot more game to play.

im about to save jason and fix all my problems.

i'm gonna push the vote onto ian, saying jason is very nervous and seems like he will play an idol, pushing the vote onto ian. Then I will tell Jason before/after (to be decided) the vote that I saved him, thereby securing his trust so that we can make a move on Alex next round.

I have NEVER played so aggressively, and tried to take control so much in the vote, but Julia put me in a crap situation. But I'm not gonna like... sit here and have it happen, I am here to play a good game, I said so in my application.

I think this is the way of ensuring minimal blood on my hands, and I've wanted Ian out since round two KLASDFA.

I wake up and I then learn that HOW IN THE WORLD ALEX KNOWS THAT CAELEB IS A TARGET THIS ROUND???

Mitch told him? Like what the hell is happening???! I talked with Alex and he says he’s ok with Caeleb which is really weird??

Tom then goes online and tells me Alex has been going around telling people different names and he told Caeleb my name >.>

AND NOW JULES AND BENJ ARE MIA AND ITS REALLY SKETCHY

I am gonna get voted!! I can feel it ahsjdiff so much for my never voted out status :(((

50 minutes till tribal and the plan is to vote out Jason but make Jason think it’s Ian or Caeleb? Unless I’m getting blindsided which in that case, well done. I’m really tired and I just want some Mac and cheese and a nap.

why is the one time alex and jones pip up to squash my beautiful plan. like go back to being crickets at all signs of game talk thank you very much.

alternatively... tom and jules could come in clutch, flipping caeleb to vote out alex that works too.

i'm annoyed with jones/mo/alex they can go. like i've wanted jason and ian out as a duo for ninety-five years, but maybe i wanna keep them around.

Jones is fuckinf PISSED

THESE BUDVA ARE CRACKED AND WANNA CHANGE THE VOOOOTE SKSKKSJSJSKSJ WE HAVE LITERALLY 40 MINUTES

If Jason idols himself, I’m idoling Caeleb and I’m gonna gonna kill someone

If Jason idols Ian and we get Jason out I’m laughing my ass off

If Jason idols himself and I idol Caeleb and I’m SOMEHOW IDOLED OUT then fuck that shit I’ll literally kill someone

I just wanna tell these Budva in space jam then it’ll be ok

I DO NOT WANT TO BE VOTING JASON AT ALL THE FUCK I WANT TO GET ALEX THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BUT NO CAELEB APPARENTLY WANTS TO VOTE JASON I HATE THIS THEY REALLY ARE TRYING TO GET MY HOMIE JASON OUT!!! WAS I CONSPIRING AGAINST HIM AND IAN ALL WEEK? MAYBE SO! BUT I DON'T WANT HIM OUT YET!!! I DON'T!! WE ARE TRYING TO BLINDSIDE ALEX BUT THIS AIN'T WORKING UGHGHGHGHG *STOMPS ON THE GROUND* UGHGHGHGH I HATE THIS GOODBYE

me flipping my vote to make it a 5-4-3-1 sending Ian out... I'm either the second coming of Natalie Anderson or 11th place.

The moment Mitch, Julia and Ali stopped responding to me and Jason I felt it. That we were being bamboozled and it looks like we did.

Tom and Jason were true to me and the end and I love them for that. Screw snake Julia because she really fucking played me like a fiddle lol and fuck Ali, mitch and benj hahahahahahahahaahahahahahHaha Because it really hurts! Alex is a scheming lying bitch and at least Mo half lied to me oof

At least my vacation is saved. I love the hosts, Drew, Seamus, Johnny and Asya for having me. I stan Nicole G forever. Bora Bora will always be my home. Goodbye tumblr survivor!

[survivor-guyana]

Episode 5 - "Another day, another swap." - Jess

Sarah was robbed.

Please tribe swap, please tribe swap.

Not really sure how to feel at this stage...

Jess absolutely botched this challenge for us, and it was probably the worst individual effort in a competition that I have seen in years. For that, she automatically created a target on her back.

HOWEVER, I need to control who goes here, and it won't be Jess. It sounds like Dani and Nick were on opposite sides of the joint tribal, and will likely target one another.

I would personally like to see Alyssa go sooner than later, but there is no context in taking her out right now. She is "Hosororo strong" apparently, but the tables have turned. I'm not sure if I am willing to give her the same mercy that the favs gave us.

Honestly I wouldn't mind losing this so Mitchell goes home but then again I wouldn't mind Arakaka going to tribal either. I also feel like Nick is fucked over at Takama. He has the idol but that'd require someone using it on him which I doubt would happen. He better up his social game! If Arakaka goes to tribal then it should obviously be Aidan bc of his advantage and bc of Jones, Sammy, and Chelsea/JD alliance. Wait is Chelsea a fan? Lol idk.

So Ive been talking to Maynor and TJ individually about having an alliance of us 3 since I put them both high on my list! They both agreed and so I formed the alliance called... JONES'S ANGELS! I feel like we're gonna be a good alliance as well. Oh José is on our tribe as well as Mitchell. José is someone that I talked to the least on our OG tribe and from the looks of the trust list, someone who is not very trusted. Mitchell has his karma coming from the joint tribal round and for voting out Sarah. (PSST Sarah I miss u queen I can't wait to see you in Survivor Michigan.)

Another day, another swap. I've officially been on EVERY single tribe now. I am Guyana's Orphan. Honestly, I'm actually okay with how we swapped this time around.

I'm in the majority both in several ways. 1. I'm in the majority if Devon and I decide to stick with the "Fans" (barf). 2. I'm in the majority if we decide to go to Hosororo Way (yassss bitch) 3. I'm in the majority if Favourites attempt something (meh).

BUT this bitch is literally her OWN ENEMY RIGHT NOW. I flopped that memory competition harder a nerd at Comic Con trying to talk to a female. YIKES. I hope the flu isn't what sends me home or else I'm going to FUCKING RAGE.

I was able to re-connect with Dani which was okay? for me? I guess? Honestly at this point I have no loyalty to the Fans tribe (I don't think I ever had any tbh). I don't think a label in front of someone's name should stop me from trying to further my game. That being SAID....

Nick is on A WHOLE NOTHER' LEVEL Y'ALL. This man literally knew me for 5 seconds and spilled his whole game. I expected more from a dude who owns a buff personally. The only thing he didn't tell me last night was his social insurance number. I kind of feel bad for him but I don't want to let him get far. I rather keep Dani around than him at this point. I don't want that to hurt my relationship with Alyssa so.. I AM STRESSING RIGHT NOW.

Speaking of Alyssa...

MY GIRL ALYSSA GETTING FIRST.. fucking SCARES ME SHITLESS. I would honestly consider her my #1 at this point but now this has me thinking.. am I really HER number 1? Does she have the same relationship with me like she has with others? If we merge does she have my back over people like Jones/JD who she speaks HIGHLY of to me? I have my doubts but I think having someone like her on my side in this crucial time is an ASSET. She is VULNERABLE and I need to make sure I make her feel as fucking comfortable as possible. It's times like these where those strong relationships form and I honestly think if we can possibly

That's my bitch, that's my girl. I honestly think Alyssa is my gate-way drug to the Favourites at this point. I also really just want to meet Jones because I'm convinced she's my future best friend.

Something I haven't touched on.... ever BUT I can't wait to possibly re-connect with TJ. I miss being able to strategize with him. The way he sees games is insane and I have a half of a brain cell so it's always nice to have a smart person do the thinking for you.

I NEED TO FIND A FUCKING ADVANTAGE OR A GOD DAMN IDOL.

I cant believe we won immunity. I was really scared that we would have to go to tribal. Me, TJ, and Tim made an alliance called Jones’s Angels and i cant wait to be reunited with Jones. Mitchell is acting like last vote wasnt against me but it was like. How can you say theres 100% trust when there isnt. The Jenna vote was not  as much of a suprise for Mitchell cuz i mentioned my worries about Jenna. Im being buddy buddy but if we lost next round. He is going home for sure. Once you brake my trust, you cant really get it back. Sorry mitchell buddy. And i have eyes on Aidan and Dani. Karma for Sarah is coming.

WOW! That's all I have to say right now. This game is really putting me through the ringer but I'm in it to win it and this fucking tribe swap threw me for a loop. I knew the trust lists would come into play but I didn't know right away. But I sort of made such a power move on my tribe and then got shuffled into this and I saw the numbers and went FUCK.

Like four favorites versus little old me! But I like a challenge... I'm not Sarah, I'm not going to let myself get swapfucked. *gives the camera a shady look*

Having the Opal Idol in my pocket is amazing and I'm glad I went for that temptation. Everyone knows I have it but honestly I think there's an advantage to standing out. I feel like this series is used to a lot of UTR, lowkey players and people lying low and that's just not my thing... I honestly can't lay low to save my life. So my plan is to go after them. Honestly since I was low on the trust list it makes sense to go after people high on the trust list. I'm honestly not that bitter but if I can use it to justify targeting some people, I'm going to do it.

I'm not sure of my tribe because everybody is meh so far? I don't know if I'm dry or they're just all in alliances but I can't get a read on them for shit. I saw how well they all did in their past games and JD is giving me this loner act but she's been to an FTC so I know she's not as dumb as she's letting on. For some reason the fact that there are more girls than guys concerns me because I feel like those bitches could link up?

I guess I like Chelsea the best but maybe that's because she seems a little more exciting. Sammy does too but he seems like a game threat. I think I'm reluctant to share anything with anyone because I'm not sure of their relationships with each other. I think I want Jonesy out though... she has this cutesy act that is relatable and did pretty well on her first season. She was high on the trustlist too.

In all... I feel isolated but not intimidated.

Nobody has asked about the temptation but I'm ready to lie about it being a vote steal like I told Dani and Mitchell. I need to start keeping my lies in order because they're going to be PISSED when I reveal what it really is but hopefully they understand... if I ever see them again. I'm worried about Dani AND Jess over there at Takama because Devon is crafty. They are some people I hope I can rekindle with at merge. I'd consider working with Maynor but he seems like the type to want revenge.

WE WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN fuck yeah also i wanna elaborate on something i said in my last confessional about using Aidan as a shield bc idk if I ever explained that Aidan has proclaimed that his tribe did not trust him at all, AND he has an advantage, right? so obviously, people would want to vote him out because of it. HOWEVER, if I get him to trust me/on my side, not only can we work together, BUT everyone will always target him over myself, so yeah, logic ;)

Unfortunately we didn't lose and just as I feared Nick's tribe lost. Welp you had a good run Nick.

So this round has been messed up.  I was swapped to a tribe with 1 person I talked to breifly on our original tribe and had an alliance with to search for idols.  The other 3 players were all people I never spoke to.  Furthermore Dani even voted vote for a few tribals ago.  After a botched challenge I’m hoping that it’s going to be Dani tonight and not me.  I’ve spoken with Jess and Devon and get good vibes that they want to play together.  Let’s hope their not playing me.

So pretty much I’ve been able to establish a strong relationship with Maynor this game... now I just need a majoritu on this tribe to be able to cause some damage within the merge, so we’ll see how things go when I reach that phase 😤 I want to work with TJ tbh, but we’ll see how that goes I guess haha

Ugh I hope Jess and devon aren’t ducking with me but I think it’s me or nick. Really hoping it’s nick. Sorry for typos drubk

Ummmm, so what did i do? Nothing, what have I done? Nothing, I didnt do the challenge ether cus like, wow I do not have a shity memory. But we won so yay team! 

[philsdrill]

Chapter 16: Not What You Want for Your Birthday

Fic Summary: “Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick.” For a while Phil has thought that his soulmate might have an eating disorder and doesn’t expect to meet him in the restaurant where he works.

Genre: a lot of fluff, recovery, really fucking domestic, waiter!Phil

Warnings: eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, hospitals, panic attacks, references to past abuse, mentions of suicide, a lot of awkwardness, small amounts of smut. This is potentially triggering so for your own sake, please think twice about reading if anything this might affect you.

Disclaimer: I don’t have personal experience with eating disorders, but have done some research. If I have anything about them wrong, feel free to send me an ask and I’ll sort it out.

Word Count (for this part): 6.8k

[Uploads will be approximately every couple of weeks! (hopefully)]

A/N: Announcement - I have a new  sideblog, @philsdrill-updates, where I will post only about updates for this fic, so if you want a notification when I update, you can turn on notifications for the blog if you want! Also, next chapter should be sooner rather than later, as I’ve actually written it. This was going to be 11k, but I’ve decided to split it in two (thanks to those who helped me decide). Anyway, enjoy!

MASTERPOST

<= Previous Chapter

When the morning arrived, we found another thing for the day’s to-do list. As well as constructing our bed and phoning Dan’s parents, we would also have to go shopping. We’d had no milk for days, and now we were out of bread too. We were almost at the stage of having ice cream for breakfast, but not quite.

We made a trip to Tesco, something that I think Dan and I had only done together once. Usually we used the online ordering system, from the days when the amount of food in the supermarket would be too much for him to cope with. Today, he was feeling up to it, and it would be easier for us to get all of the things we needed without forgetting something.

As we made our way around the shop, I thought about what we would eat for lunch. For days we had been eating the odds and ends we had left in the fridge and freezer, but now we had the opportunity to eat something decent. I’d missed cooking over the last few days, and was excited to get back into the habit of it. I picked up some chicken breasts from the meat aisle, with the intention of coating them, frying them and then using it as a sandwich filler. It would make a change from pre-packaged ham.

We picked up most of the things from our usual weekly shop, and it was just after I had found the KitKats that I noticed Dan spacing out a little.

“You okay?” I asked him, bringing the trolley to a stop next to the Doritos and studying his expression.

“Yeah, this is just a little overwhelming,” he told me, “Too many sweets, too many kinds of potatoes… just…”

“Okay,” I said calmly, “I just need to pick up some new socks and then we can leave.”

I rested one hand on the small of Dan’s back and started to control the trolley with one hand. The excuse of me needing new socks was really just to get him out of the aisles full of food, but now that I thought about it, I realised that I seemed to have lost a number of them recently.

I brought the trolley to a stop in front of the display of socks and picked out a couple of pairs. Dan seemed to be a bit more focused on the world now, so I could tell he was okay, but I thought we should go home. He didn’t seem like he was about to have a panic attack or anything, but then, we never knew.

“Okay, that’s us,” I said, “Anything you’re needing or shall we go to the checkout?”

“I’m good,” Dan said, and started to wander in the direction of the checkouts.

I went ahead of him with the trolley, picked the checkout with the shortest queue, and started to unload the stuff onto the conveyor belt. Dan did help, but he had clearly given me the leading role. I felt a bit like a Dad in the situation, where I was the one speaking to the cashier and loading most of the bags, while Dan was the kid who helped out a little, but mainly stood quietly by the trolley.

However, in Dan helping to pack the bags, there were moments when I was by the trolley and Dan was next to the cashier. She was a lovely lady, who made pleasant small talk and  would slow down to let us keep up. As the last few items came through, I was lifting another full bag into the trolley.

“Do you need another bag?” the lady asked Dan.

When Dan didn’t reply, I looked up from the trolley. Dan seemed to be staring into space and the cashier looked over at him, puzzledly.

“Yes please,” I replied, coming over to stand next to Dan.

I nudged his arm gently to bring him back to earth, while I filled the last bag. Dan noticed my nudge, looked a bit dazed, and then wandered back towards the trolley. I passed him the last bag to put in it, and then got my card out to pay.

“Is your friend okay?” the cashier asked me quietly, “He seems a little out if it.”

“He has anxiety,” I told her, not really knowing what else to say, “I think he just needs to get out of here.”

“Okay,” she nodded, not showing any understanding but smiling and passing me my receipt and vouchers, “On you go.”

I pushed the trolley to the car, with Dan lingering by my side. He wasn’t saying a lot, but then he could be quite a quiet person by nature. I brought the trolley to a stop behind my car, unlocked it, and opened up the boot.

“Can I go and sit in the car while you load it?” Dan asked, his voice sounding a little nervous.

“Yeah sure,” I told Dan, knowing that something wasn’t quite right, but not wanting to ask him in this open environment.

I quickly filled up the boot and parked the trolley, and before long I was climbing into the driver’s seat, next to Dan.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him, once I had the door shut.

“Nothing, I just… there was a moment where I just got freaked out by the amount of food and I’m fine now, I just needed out of there,” he said, stumbling over his words a little.

“Okay,” I nodded, reaching over and taking his hand, which was trembling a little, “Do you want a drink of water or anything?”

“Did we buy some?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said, stretching behind me into the backseat, where I had put one of the six-packs of bottled water.

I brought the packet forwards, opened it and passed Dan a bottle. I put the rest of them back behind me, and looked at Dan, who was taking small sips of the water, but looking relatively calm. I made sure he was good to go, before starting the car and heading back towards home.

–

After putting the shopping away, we started on constructing our bed.  It was relatively simple, but due to its size, it took quite a while. We stopped for our fried chicken sandwiches at lunchtime, and I was grateful for the relaxing break that cooking gave me. We finished the bed after lunch, at about three o’clock.

We both lay down on the now completed bed and had a discussion about our plan for later, with our meal out. We decided on exactly which restaurant we were going to, and I called to book a table. I maybe should’ve booked a little earlier in the day, as we had to go for a time that was a little later than ideal; it just meant that I wouldn’t have time to come home before heading to the restaurant where I worked.

Dan and I were both tired, and we could fit in a little nap before going out, but we had one last thing to do first. Call Dan’s parents and see when Adam could come up.

We sat on the bed, with Dan’s phone between us. He made the call and put the phone on speaker so we could both communicate.

After the initial ‘hello’s and ‘how are you’s, we got down to the question, “Now that we’ve moved house and have a spare room, we were thinking we could have Adam up to stay for a few days. We thought it would be good for him and he seemed to like the idea when we spoke a few days ago. When would be good?”

Dan’s parents discussed for a minute or two, and I even heard Adam’s voice in the background. Shouldn’t he be in school? I guess things weren’t too good for him at the moment.

“Would Monday be too soon?” Dan’s mum asked us, “He could come then and stay for the week? It’s the mid-term this coming weekend so he’ll be off Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Monday anyway, and I think realistically he won’t be in school this Monday or Tuesday.”

Dan and I looked at each other and began to nod slowly, both of us agreeing that that was fine.

“That’s fine,” Dan told them, cheerily, “We’ll get the place organised for then. Give us details of his train when you have them.”

We spoke about a few more technical aspects to his visit, but soon we were ending the call with a promise to speak soon.

Dan let out a sigh of relief, “I’m glad that’s organised.”

I set an alarm on Dan’s phone, then we both lay down for a nap. We’d had a long morning, and we were going to need our energy for later. After our meal, I had work, and we were hoping that we’d have the energy for a little intimate time when I got home. Things had been stressful of late and we both needed the release.

–

Dan’s POV:

When we awoke from our nap, Phil and I agreed to take separate showers, knowing we were both lowkey too horny to be in such a steamy environment together. We took a bathroom each, and each got ourselves ready for our date.

It was strange to think, that after being together for all these months, this was our first time going out to a restaurant together. I was a little bit nervous, but I knew I would be fine with Phil by my side.

We arrived at the restaurant, and were very quickly taken to our table. Phil made small talk with the waiter, and even managed to tell the waiter that he was a waiter himself.

After gandering over the menu for a while, Phil and I decided on what we were going to order. We’d share a starter of garlic bread with mozzarella, each have our own main course: creamy Spaghetti Carbonara for Phil and tomatoey Spaghetti al Forno for myself. Neither of us could drink, with me driving and Phil working, so we each ordered a soft drink; Phil went for a bottle of Coke, while I just asked for some tap water. We wouldn’t have to commit to having pudding until later, which was perfectly fine by me.

The garlic bread was nice, but I restricted myself to one piece and let Phil have the other two. I wanted to be able to eat most of my main course. I’d ordered the smaller ‘Starter Portion’, but I still had a feeling that I was going to struggle.

Phil and I had made the agreement not to talk about anything stressful over dinner. The subjects of house moving, anxiety, illness and my brother’s soulmate issues were all off the cards, unless of course something came up and we had to speak about them.

We spoke about more simple matters, light-hearted conversation that seemed perfect for a date, without making things too serious.

We briefly discussed the weekend, and how the plan was to go to Phil’s parents house on Saturday, have our evening meal, then stay over into Sunday. I again asked Phil if he knew what we’d be eating, but he wasn’t able to tell me much more than the last time.

“My mum says it’s a surprise,” Phil told me, “But she says she kept you in mind, when deciding on it. She won’t tell me, but if you want to speak to her on the phone, she might tell you.”

“I might do that,” I told him, “It’s not that I don’t trust her, I’d just rather know.”

When had finished our main courses, and the dessert menu came around, I made the decision to stop where I was. There was only so much food by body could handle, and I felt I was already a bit too close to that limit. However, I persuaded Phil that he should order a pudding, that I shouldn’t hold him back from having something that he loved.

When Phil’s ice cream sundae arrived, he asked the waiter if we could have a second spoon. I could see Phil was going to offer me a little bit, and I felt that I could accept his offer as long as it wasn’t too much. Phil did offer me some ice cream, and while I didn’t have a lot,  I did enjoy my little sample.

We finished the meal off with a coffee, or rather a latte for Phil and a hot chocolate for myself. I wasn’t going to risk having any coffee induced anxiety to put a downer on our night, I’d have to make do with the energy from our nap.

Phil paid the bill, giving the waiter a tip, and we made our way out of the restaurant, feeling satisfied and full of food. There was a slight anxious feeling in the back of my mind, but I knew what I’d eaten wasn’t particularly unhealthy, and that I was allowed to treat myself from time to time.

Having a little time to spare before Phil’s work, we took a walk around a nearby park together to get some fresh air, a pleasant thing to do after being in warm restaurant full of food smells. Although a little cold, it was peaceful, and just what I needed to ease my mind. Phil and I held hands as we strolled around, and may have partaken in the cheesy romantic fantasy of kissing against a tree next to a stream.

As I drove Phil to his work, I reminded myself that our night wasn’t over yet. We’d have more time together when Phil came home, and we’d made an agreement about what we’d be doing. Obviously, if something changed and one of us was too tired, we’d put it off until the morning, but everything was looking good; Phil and I were well rested and we were looking forward to later on. I could certainly feel the lust in my veins, recently having found myself aroused by the smallest things.

I dropped Phil off at his restaurant, pressing another kiss to his cheek before he got out of the car. I told him I loved him, and reminded that I’d see him in a few hours, when I came to pick him up.

I drove Phil’s car back to our flat, and parked it in our assigned space. I made my way up to the second floor alone and let myself into our flat. I occupied myself with a bit of unpacking and tidying for a while, but I was distracted. I knew what Phil and I were planning when he came back, and I wanted to do a little preparation.

It had been a while since Phil and I did anything in that department, and I knew I would be way too tight to stretch quickly. To make things easier for both of us later on, I was going to get myself prepped a little in advance. After a bit of searching through boxes to find what I was looking for, I eventually made my way to Phil and I’s bedroom, armed with a dildo, some lube and a towel I didn’t mind getting a little messy.

I started with my fingers, coating them liberally in the slippery substance and slowly pushing in and apart. It was a very slow process, as I’d predicted, and it took a while before I found myself feeling comfortable enough to take something bigger. I was humming and hawing about using the dildo, knowing that I did risk getting carried away when I wanted to save myself for later. Eventually I decided that I would go for it, let myself adjust to the stretch, then take it out and leave things there.

I lowered myself onto it, biting my lip as the stretch was a little more than I’d expected. Eventually I bottomed out, and all I wanted to do was start fucking myself on it, but I mustered all my self control and kept still, saving myself for Phil. Another wave of arousal struck me, and I knew I had to take it out and distance myself from the idea. I slowly pulled the toy back out, and lay it to the side on the towel. I took a few deep breaths and stood up from the bed to retrieve my underwear.

I’d just pulled my boxers back up when suddenly my head felt a little fuzzy. I suddenly felt really really anxious and I didn’t know why.

I sank to the floor; I think I may have forgotten how to stand as my mind was elsewhere. After talking a few deep breaths and focusing on what was going on in my head, I realised that I was worrying about Phil.

Was Phil sick?

Phil never got sick though; I hadn’t felt anything through our bond since I was about eight. The more I tried to recall that time, I started to realise that this was how it felt.

So was Phil sick?

I guess we’d never quite got to the bottom of him feeling ill before we moved; maybe it was connected.

Suddenly I realised there was only really one way to figure out if he was okay. I got up, grabbed my phone from the bedside table and called Phil.

As the phone rang, I pulled my t-shirt back on, knowing that I may have to go and pick Phil up if this was what I thought. I froze and paid my utmost attention to the phone when I heard Phil pick up.

“Dan?” Phil answered, his voice sounding rough and a little shaky, almost immediately confirming my suspicions.

“Phil, I felt it; you’ve been sick, right?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Phil said, his voice trembling and catching in his throat, “I wasn’t feeling good so Chris is taking care of my tables and I came back to the break room and now -”

Phil paused, and over the phone I heard a bit of what sounded like him throwing up. He let out a pained moan and sighed.

“I’m getting ready to come and pick you up,” I told Phil, putting the phone on speaker and putting on a pair of joggies and some shoes.

“T-thanks,” Phil responded, but sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

“Try and keep yourself together for me,” I told him, “Should I bring a bucket?”

A hesitant ‘maybe’ from Phil was all I needed to know that the answer was yes. I kept him on the line so I could hear how he was doing, grabbed the bucket and my keys and made my way down to the car.

I had to end the call to drive there, but I told Phil I’d be there in five minutes. He choked out something about me finding either Chris or his manager and one of them would take me to him.

I made my way to the restaurant as fast as I safely and legally could. I was worried about Phil, and needed to be by his side as quickly as possible. I got hit by a particularly strong wave of worry after turning into the main road, and found myself struggling to pay attention to the road.

I didn’t really want to, but I pulled over to let it pass, knowing that if I kept going, I would be in a lot of danger. I took a couple of deep breaths, feeling a little nauseous myself. It hurt to know that Phil was struggling so much and I couldn’t be there with him.

Once I felt a little calmer, I started the car back up and continued on my way. I felt some relief come over me as I turned into the restaurant car park, knowing that Phil wasn’t far away now.

I pulled into the disabled space right next to the building, because fuck it, Phil was really sick and wouldn’t be up for walking very far.

I leapt out of the car, locked it and headed towards the door, not caring about my horrendously untidy parking. I doubted I’d be here long enough for anyone to complain.

Heading into the restaurant, I spotted Phil’s boss standing by the 'please wait here to be seated’ sign. I made my way over to him, ready with my question about Phil. He was probably ready for me to enquire about getting a table, but I was about to throw him off his routine.

“Hi, I’m Dan, Phil’s soulmate,” I introduced myself, “Could you take me to him?”

“Yeah, Chris told me he wasn’t feeling too good, so he’s back in the breakroom,” he said, gesturing for me to follow him, “Did he call you?”

“No I called him,” I told him, “I felt it through our bond.”

“From what I heard from Phil, I thought it was just when the other threw up, not just…” he paused, “Oh wait, has he thrown up?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “And more than once. I’m guessing you’ve got a toilet back there?”

“Yeah we do,” he said, looking a little perplexed, “Do you know what’s wrong? Do you think he’s picked up a stomach bug from somewhere? Sorry to sound arrogant but hygiene is very important here.”

“I’m pretty confident this is connected to him being ill last week, and whatever’s wrong, he’s not contagious because I’m absolutely fine,” I told him, “And I completely understand why you’re asking.”

“Okay good,” he said, looking relieved.

“I’m starting to wonder if it’s a food allergy or something,” I explained, as we walked through a door marked ‘staff only’ at the back of the restaurant, “Because he seems to feel ill sometimes after he’s eaten, but he’s been fine for a couple of days. I’m going to take him to the doctor, probably tomorrow unless he’s really bad.”

“Could you find someone else to take his shift tomorrow?” I asked him, “I somehow don’t think he’ll be up for it.”

“Yeah, sure,” Phil’s boss replied, “I’ll get someone organised, can’t have him working like this.”

He pushed open a door, which lead into what was clearly the staff breakroom and cloakroom area. There were coat hooks, lockers, and a number of tables and chairs. At one side of the room, there were two doors labelled as toilets.

I followed the manager across to the door with a mens’ symbol on it. The door creaked open as he pushed it, and he called out Phil’s name, “Phil?”

A rough sounding ‘yeah?’ came from the end cubicle, and I heard Phil shuffling around a little.

“Dan’s here,” he said, “I’d better get back to the front desk, so I’ll leave you two to it. I hope you feel better soon.”

The boss left, and I wandered over to just outside of the toilet door.

“Phil?” I asked timidly, “Do you want to let me in?”

“Yeah, just give me a minute,” Phil replied.

I heard the toilet roll spin round and rip a couple of times, then the toilet flush. Phil then opened the door, whilst still sitting on the floor. I entered the cubicle and crouched down next to him. He was resting his head on the wall next to the toilet, and he looked incredibly pale.

“You’ve been sick, what, three times?” I asked him.

Phil nodded, “I still feel like I’m going to throw up again though.”

I gently rested my hand on Phil’s back, “You can have as long here as you need, but I’ve got a bucket in the car so we can get you home when you’re ready.”

“S-stay a bit longer,” Phil stammered.

“Sure thing,” I said, slowly rubbing my hand up and down his back.

“I think I either ate something bad or something didn’t agree with me,” Phil groaned, rubbing his stomach.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “It might not be, but I think this could be connected to how you felt before we moved. Like I think there’s something you’re eating that you’re maybe allergic to or something.”

“You think?” Phil asked, “But what? I tried not eating some things but it didn’t make a difference.”

“I think we should take you to the Doctor tomorrow and see if we can get the answer to that,” I told him, “But for now I think we should get you home to your own toilet and bed.”

“Yeah,” Phil nodded miserably.

“You want to get up and go then?” I asked him, “D'you think you’ll be able to keep the rest of the contents of your stomach in there until we get outside?”

“Hopefully,” Phil told me, “But can I get a hand up?”

I got up, then helped Phil to his feet. I brought my arms firmly around his waist to steady him, and we walked out into the sink area.

Phil wearily washed his hands, and I splashed some water onto his face, wiping some residue from his chin. After I’d washed and dried my hands, he returned to my side like a lost puppy, tired and barely able to stand on his own.

“You good to go?” I asked Phil, bringing my arm around his shoulders.

“I guess,” he said, “Can we go out the back door though? I don’t want to walk through the restaurant, feeling like this.”

“Sure,” I nodded, “You’ll need to show me the way though.”

Phil and I turned towards the back of the restaurant as we came out the room. We passed a number of doors, one of which was open and led into the kitchen. We hurried past this one as the food smells were a bit much, making Phil retch and clamp a hand over his mouth.

Phil pushed open the back door and hurried outside, bending over next to the wall and holding his stomach and his throat. Despite looking like he was about to, Phil didn’t throw up, and managed to take a few deep breaths and stand up straight again.

I helped Phil over to the car, which was fortunately just about as close as it could be. I opened the passenger door for him and let him get in, before handing him the bucket I’d brought.

“Let’s hope you don’t need that,” I said to him, “But it saves your car getting messy if you do.”

I went around the car and got back into the driver’s seat. I started the car, and started back home. Phil was next to me, clutching the bucket for dear life, looking very uncomfortable. There were a couple of speed bumps on the road into our apartments, which I hadn’t particularly taken any note of before now. I drove carefully over both, but the second one was too much for Phil, resulting in him making use of the bucket after all.

I kept going, pulling into our parking space less than a minute later, where I was finally able to comfort Phil. He wasn’t coping too well, choking out tears and strangled words.

“I feel so ill,” he cried, “Make it stop. I feel sick going over speed bumps at the best of times, but I just…”

“Phil, it’s okay,” I told him, trying to comfort him as he was panicking, “You’re going to be okay. Let’s go upstairs and get you some medicine and some water. We’ll go to the doctors tomorrow. Tonight probably won’t be great, but we’ll get to the bottom of this soon.”

Phil nodded, wiping tears away from his eyes and sniffling a little. I got out of the car and headed round to the other side to help him out. It was scary how my usually strong and happy Phil, was now trembling and in tears. I wish this didn’t have to happen to him. This time it was me helping him up the stairs to our flat, him being the weak one in the situation, the one who needed the support of his soulmate to lean on.

I helped the shaking Phil out of his work clothes and into some pyjamas; my first priority was getting him comfortable, so he didn’t have to get up again in five minutes. I got him to sit down in bed with his bucket while I fetched some medicine. I had to hastily move my things from earlier out of the way, but not without Phil noticing.

“Oh god, you were getting all prepared and everything, I’m sorry,” Phil blurted.

“Yeah, I was,” I admitted, “Don’t worry about it though. You’re ill; I can wait.”

I found the tablets that Phil had sneakily got from the pharmacy, and a bottle of water. I brought them to him, and sat by his side as he took them.

“Hopefully, those will help you feel better,” I said, putting an arm around him and getting ready to stay with him for a while.

His symptoms didn’t seem to be easing much after half an hour, and I made the decision to get him some paracetamol to try and ease the pain. He had adopted a variety of different positions over the last thirty minutes, and his current one was laying on his side, with his arms wrapped around his stomach, a look of intense discomfort on his face.

After Phil took the paracetamol,a thought struck me. Would some food disagreeing with him really put him in this much pain? Could it be something more serious like appendicitis? Or a stomach ulcer like I’d had?

Was there a way I could figure out the difference? Should I take him to hospital? It wasn’t something I wanted to have to do, but then, I didn’t really know what to do.

Phil let out another grunt of pain - the paracetamol was yet to kick in - when a thought crossed my mind. Who would’ve dealt with Phil being ill many more times than I had? His mum.

Despite technically being an adult myself, I was still young, and there were still times I needed help from someone older and more experienced with the things life throws at us. I took Phil’s phone from his bedside table, and informed him that I was going to call his mum. He tried to protest at that, but he didn’t really have the energy to utter anything more than a simple 'no’.

“Hi Phil,” Phil’s mum greeted as she picked up the phone.

“It’s Dan,” I told her.

I don’t know if it was something in the tone of my voice, or whether it was because I was calling rather than Phil, but she immediately noticed that something was up.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“N-not really,” I stuttered, feeling my own panic rising in my throat, “Phil’s really sick and I’ve given him medicine but he doesn’t really seem better, and I’ve just given him paracetamol because his stomach hurts a lot but I’ve just thought, what if it’s something worse and I don’t know if I should take him to hospital or…”

“Dan,” she said, in a soothing motherly voice that made me feel a little better, “Keep doing what you’re doing, I’ll come over and see. I’ll be there in about ten minutes, okay?”

“Thanks,” I said, feeling a little less panicky now that I knew an adult who could help was on the way.

I hung up the call to Phil’s mum and returned to Phil’s side, “You’re mum’s coming over. I need someone to confirm I’m doing the right things.”

I took some deep breaths to calm myself down, running my hand through Phil’s soft, fluffy hair. He relaxed a little under my touch, so I kept at it, hoping he would start to feel better soon.

When Phil’s mum arrived, I got up to let her in, and spent a couple of minutes explaining the context of the situation: what Phil ate for dinner, how long ago it is was and how he’d been a bit ill before the move. We even spoke about the specifics such as how many times he’d vomited and whether he was displaying any other symptoms.

“Dan, you go and take a couple of minutes to yourself in the living room,” she suggested, “I’m going to go in and see him, but I want you to try and calm yourself down a little.”

I went to the living room but found myself pacing around, rather than trying to relax and calm down. What if it was something really serious and I just hadn’t picked up on it? I stopped myself and took a couple of deep breaths. He’ll be fine. He’ll be fine. I tried to tell myself that, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe it. My throat felt tight, and I was starting to feel the slightly nauseous feeling that sometimes came with an anxiety attack.

I realised that I should take my anxiety relief tablets before things got worse; I had to stay strong for Phil. The only snag was they were in our en-suite bathroom, and getting to them meant interrupting Phil’s mum as she checked up on him.

Steeling myself with the knowledge that this was my house and I could go where I pleased, I pushed open the door and walked into our bedroom. Phil’s mum was sitting on the bed next to him, one hand resting on the lump in the duvet that was his leg.

“Sorry I just need to get my anxiety medication from the bathroom,” I rushed, explaining my intrusion.

I hurried into the bathroom, grabbed the tablets and hurried back through again. I took them to the kitchen, where I steadied myself against the counter as I filled myself a glass of water.

I downed the tablets and a few glugs of water, then forced myself to sit down on one of the sofas in the living room. I felt myself twitching, my anxiety wanting to get up and pace around and panic. I fought against it, trying to regulate my breathing while taking sips of water.

I was still shaking a bit when Phil’s mum came in, and I had adopted a blanket to wear as an extra layer.

“Dan, are you okay?” She asked, “Phil was concerned when you came in to get your…?”

“Anxiety medication,” I finished for her, “I’m fine, I’m just feeling a bit panicky and it’ll stop me getting worse. Is Phil okay? I’m worried and I was finding it difficult not to think the worst.”

“He doesn’t have a temperature, so that rules out a lot of things,” she told me, “I’ve spoken to him about it, and it seems likely that something he ate didn’t like him. I think you should take him to the doctor’s tomorrow and see if they can help figure out what’s happened. As for tonight, I think he’ll be okay; just keep an eye on him. Make sure that he’s breathing okay, because breathing difficulties could mean a serious allergy, but I think that would have sprung up already if it was an issue. If he gets worse, get him to the hospital and phone me, but I think he’s going to be fine.”

I nodded, feeling relief that she thought he was fine. I was still a little anxious, but it was nothing I couldn’t deal with.

“Are you going to be okay?” She asked me, “You don’t want me to stay over for support?”

“I’ll be fine,” I told her, “I just needed someone else’s opinion on what to do. Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” she said, “Anytime, well hopefully that won’t be needed, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” I laughed, “I’m going to back and see Phil, but do you want a cup of tea or anything?”

“Yeah, tea would be great, but I can help myself,” she told me, “I know you won’t want to leave Phil for too long.”

Thanking her for understanding, I headed for our bedroom. I slowly pushed open the door, and walked over to the bed, where Phil was now sitting up again.

“Hey,” I said to him, “Your mum thinks you’re okay too which is relieving.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I don’t feel it, but I trust her judgement. Are you okay? I was a bit worried when you rushed in for your anxiety stuff.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I told him, “I was just a bit worried and I could feel it coming and I didn’t want to have an anxiety attack.”

“I’d ask you to come here and I’d give you a hug, but you probably don’t want that as I’m all sick and gross,” Phil commented, laughing slightly.

“I don’t mind,” I said, hopping up onto the bed and sliding across to him, “Though you’re the one who needs the hug.”

I wrapped my arms loosely around Phil, still giving him the freedom to move if he needed to. He didn’t seem to relax particularly as I noticed he was still holding his bucket with a death grip.

“Relax,” I mumbled to him, “Being all tensed up isn’t going to help. Are you feeling any better?”

“I don’t feel so much like I’m going to throw up now,” he told me, “My stomach still feels all wobbly though.”

“Do you think we can put this bucket down then?” I asked him.

“I think so…” he said, a little uncertainly.

“Okay,” I said, taking it from him and lowering it to the floor next to the bed, “Tell me if you feel you need it again; we’ll keep it within reach.”

“Thanks,” Phil sighed, now leaning back against me tiredly.

I returned my arms to their position around Phil, and slid one up his shirt a little to rest on his stomach. I knew a cool hand sometimes made it feel a little better, but I wasn’t going any further, because the likes of a stomach massage would probably make him feel worse.

“What will we do about my birthday and Adam coming?” Phil asked, out of the blue.

“What about them?” I asked, a little confused.

“Like if I’m not better?” Phil explained.

“Your mum knows you’re sick; I’m sure all we’ll need to do is tell her if you’re not up for it,” I said, “And as for Adam; he won’t be coming until Monday and this is only Thursday, so you have plenty time to get better.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Phil agreed.

Phil’s mum suddenly poked her head around the door, “Either of you want tea?”

I looked to Phil first, before answering for myself, “We bought chamomile this morning; it might help your stomach a little?”

“Okay,” Phil nodded.

“Yeah if you could make us each a cup of chamomile tea, that would be great,” I told her, “No milk or anything though.”

Once Phil’s mum was away again, Phil snuggled further into me, “I’m really tired.”

“Yeah, we should get to bed once your mum leaves, I’m getting sleepy from my medicine too,” I admitted.

When Phil’s mum came back with the three cups of tea, we all sat and drank it together, Phil and I cuddled together at the top of the bed, and Phil’s mum sitting on a chair near the bottom. Phil seemed to be nursing his tea happily, it not having any negative effects. In fact, I’d say a little colour was starting to return to his cheeks.

I think Phil’s mum noticed that we were both tired, as, as soon as she’d finished her tea, she was saying that she’d better be off. I got up to let her out and lock up, but as soon as she was gone, I rejoined Phil in bed. We were both exhausted and happy to go to sleep straight away.

However, I had to do a couple of things first; I had to set an alarm for the morning, so that I could call the doctor’s and arrange Phil an appointment before anyone else got in there. I also made sure things were on hand if Phil got sick again in the night. The bucket remained on the floor next to his bed, and I made sure he had a glass of water on his bedside table.

Phil and I laid down, but I waited until he was asleep before letting myself shut my eyes. There was nothing worse than being alone and awake at night when you were ill. I’d been there many times myself, and knew that having someone watching over you was very comforting.

I refrained from holding Phil close, giving him some space in case he needed to get up. I shut my eyes and hoped with all my might that he would feel better tomorrow.

Next Chapter =>

#phanfiction #phanfic #phan #tw #phanfluff #phan fluff #soulmateau #soulmates #fanfic #waiter!phil #someday

[rkrosememories]

                 back to black ( sort of ? )

                     ↪ rose finally dyes her hair from strawberry blonde to dark brown.

even now, rose is still staring down the red hair dye that sits under the bathroom basin, brought for a hair emergency. was now an emergency? after graduating from sopa, rose made the daring decision to dye her hair a vibrant, bright red; fire truck, which was a mistake for a hair dye rookie like herself, tainting her virgin locks which had never had colour put to them. over the years she’s been back and forth between every shade of red and orange, settling for strawberry blonde which felt most natural, but above all; she was afraid of changing. this hair had become apart of her identity. so, who would she be if she suddenly put a new colour to her head? still rose, that’s the answer.

the weekend had brought news, an invitation printed in black and gold. it seemed like the engagement of her eldest sibling had suddenly turned into a wedding, one which would happen in april, an autumn wedding in the city of melbourne, australia. home. she’s going. she’s going home, whether royal likes it or not; it’s been five years since she’s felt the sun of down under against her skin, since she’s seen her friends, and her home town. it’s been too long, and it frightens her that the longer she leaves off returning, the less important australia will become to her. besides, it’s her brother’s wedding, and his fiancee, melissa has even requested for rose to be in the bridal party ( also the offer that she perform at the wedding is there too, so her guitar is coming with her, obviously ). and it’s only now that the red hair dye is starting to bother her. she can’t possibly go red for a wedding when the dress she’s going to be wearing is maroon. it’s a head to desk moment for her, but it looks like she’s going to be heading to the hair salon sooner than later. she had thought of returning to something more subtle, but with filming and jaebum, that idea was more or less thrown out the window. until now.

she’s walking to the hair salon at night, it’s a little past nine and she’s anxious, beyond it. and she’s clueless as to why she feels this way, the way she has her hair is entirely her business, right? rose knows she doesn’t need the approval of the company, or her friends or even her boyfriend ( it’d be a pleasant surprise to everyone, if anything ). but when she arrives, she talks to a stylist explaining her situation, and they tell her it’ll take a couple of hours but rose is willing to wait those few hours. in a way, she is excited. they say a good way to get over a guy is to change your hair, and while she was over two weeks late, and happily in love; she still wanted to meet the cliche. she decides to go for a dark brown, rather than making her return to the natural black she could barely picture on her head. brown is safe. a part of her feels as though graduating from the colour she’s known, means that she’s growing up, and moving on. maybe she is, maybe this is the turning point for it all. as the stylists begin to toy with her hair, rose pulls out her phone and messages her brother on kakao talk, curious about the situation regarding her and her plus one, if she was able to bring one and she had hopes that something could be arranged, but naturally; she prepares for the worst.

[ rosie at 9:48pm ]

hey ... can i bring a plus one to the wedding???

[ charlie at 9:54pm ]

sure. who though?? if  you don”t mind me asking?

[ rosie at 9:55pm ]

my boyfriend.

[ charlie at 9:58pm ]

didn’t know you had a boyfriend. sure, i’ll make sure there’s a spare seat next to yours.

it was only early days, and the prospect of maybe bringing jaebum with her to australia gave her butterflies. oh how badly she wanted to show him australia, where she grew up, the places she loves. a few days to themselves, away from everything is what she wanted. they will of been together officially for around a month by the time the wedding happens, and rose is quick to admit that she’s anxious about sharing the finer details of their relationship, hardly anything is appropriate to say aloud, let alone to one’s family. still, she plays on the idea of bringing jaebum along, and even if she’s away for a couple of days for a wedding, surely her free time with him could be turned into some lowkey romantic getaway by the beach in some fancy ass hotel. still, rose thinks it’ll be a challenge to convince him, but maybe she’ll have to beg and grovel to get her way ( that usually worked well in her favor ), so she’s down for doing so. maybe she won’t have to try too hard.

#♡ ┋ solo. #♡ ┋ headcanon.

[cxndyhexrts]

About Closure~PART 2

Calmness and then a loud sound....and Henry landed on the floor with a loud bang. He groaned and touched his arm, trying to figure out where he was. This wasn’t his bed. His mind still half-sleeping, he looked around-his eyes darted to the door of the huge room...a voice coming from the other side of it. A voice that Henry knew. He wasn’t in his apartment-he was at the penthouse. How could he forget? After the trip to Disneyland and the conversation about Henry being jealous of him when he flirts with other people, everything turned upside down. They started hanging out in Matt’s penthouse. Even if nothing had changed in the surface of it all, Henry felt something building up inside him-something he couldn’t stop. And he didn’t really want to. Dragging himself to the nearby mirror, he stood up, and looked at himself. His shirt was semi unbuttoned and there were marks...so many hickeys...his hand instantly covered them in a somewhat...shame?

Penny didn’t approve of this. She didn’t like him and she had suggested to move away and disappear for a while. It was clear that Matt was using Henry to distract himself from all the things that happened in his life. Hell, he had said that to Henry’s face and still Henry was the loyal puppy that would always be by his side, to listen and to help around. Listen to nothing, in particular, but Henry found a way to overthink and found extra information in the emptiness of Matt’s words. After that he turned into a very affectionate person, like he hadn’t hurted Henry before. Penny had created three small red flags and gifted them to Henry-she waved them all through their hang-outs. If Henry didn’t see them in any other way, she’d do this, anyway. And he still didn’t. But, by the end of it, he felt lucky that Penny was there to warn him about it.

Henry felt like he was drowning in his thoughts, as he was looking himself in the mirror. The last weeks were full of feelings he supressed, by the things he had heard. Truth be told, he had stopped responding~Henry always reacted and shouted, but he didn’t have the strength anymore. After his accusation of using Matt for his money, it felt useless. Matt’s words started being louder in this day-dream of his:

1-They were out, hanging out in a coffee shop. And another client of his-other than Matt, his exclusive client, make-out buddy,...-approached Henry with too much excitement. He was glad he had chosen Henry to work with him on his personal website. Even if he was extra friendly, it was the first time, he felt so happy for having more clients other than Matt. When their conversation ended, he turned to Matt, who had become very cold and not wanting to look at Henry. After three attempts of asking “Is something wrong?”, Matt had a small outburst saying that Henry should  go date that other client of his, because he deserved so much better than him. Henry tried to reassure him that he didn’t have any attraction for his other client and he only liked Matt. On the long run, 1)he didn’t know if Matt had said all that for just reassurance from Henry and 2) Matt was never that outspoken about how much he liked Henry, like Henry was. So, they made a pact....that consisted of too much exclusivity: no flirting, no kissing, no....no...no with other people. Something in Henry’s heart came to place-were they becoming official? The previous fight, though was still hurting Henry’s insides.

2-Multiple make-out sessions that were stopped by Matt, for no apparent reason, later. Henry did have some kind of curiosity about what would be next. And it probably was his fault that he had communicated that with Matt-being his first time and all. Sometimes, he questioned himself why he didn’t really care about the sexuality aspect of it-it was very different from what he had lived before and he had gone all in, not sure where it would take him. He surely was in touch with his romantic side, more than he ever was. And then, Nikki came in mind....they were kids, he was definitely less mature than he was then. Bitterness surfaced knowing that Nikki was with someone else at this point, knowing that all the what-ifs of “if we saw each other again, I would give myself even more than I did four summers ago” were kind of hopeless. His feelings were so strong for Matt, he could barely see the truth-he knew that from the very first time. He would never do that with Nikki. And then, he realized that he shouldn’t compare...Nikki leaving without  an explanation was a one-time-hurt-thing, when Matt was hurting him for the last three months, the least. And he had realized it now...Still comparing, but...

All the calling Henry “adorable” and “naive”....

All the flirtatious comments of how good Henry would look pushed up against the wall and when Henry suggested moving on further, he got the hugest rejection, he had ever gotten.

All the times that Matt got too serious and cold for no apparent reason.

He always tried to change the subject, when that happened or he acted like nothing had happened, so that Matt’s affectionate behavior would appear. Sometimes, it didn’t.

Memories in his head flooded with one of the times, Matt started ranting: 

“Everything you feel towards me or because of me is amplified a thousand times because I’m your first. I met a guy once who made me question who I was and if I even liked girls at all, he made me experience all sorts of new emotions - but, then we hooked up a couple of times, the excitement of it all being so new and thrilling faded away, and I realised he wasn’t the reason behind all those new feelings, but rather the fact there was a whole new undiscovered part of me I’ve kept hidden away without even realising. You’re going through the same thing and trust me, it’ll get old sooner or later, and so will the infatuation with me.”

Or:

 “I mean, fuck, Henry, that’s exactly my point, we can’t keep meeting in the middle. Dropping everything to come and see you, taking the whole weekend off for our Paris getaway, not getting anything done even when you’re not here, cause all I can think about is you… It’s cute, sure, but it’s not me. And it can’t be me, because, like I said, I don’t have the time, but even more, it can’t be us, because unlike you, I care about what people think, what people say and what people write. And I don’t want people to write about us, I don’t want anyone to talk about us, cause there is no us. Besides, if being around me makes you show sides of yourself you hate, it could never work anyway.”

Henry didn’t know why he was pushing him away-what was the use anyway?  Didn’t he want this to happen? Why did he keep building up the tension for nothing?

Things escalated inside him that much that he found himself holding his hands into fists so tight, he had started hurting himself. Steps came closer to the bedroom and Henry didn’t lose any time to jump on the bed. The door opened and Henry closed his eyes. He didn’t really know why he didn’t want to come in contact with Matt at the moment, or at least start another make-out session escalating to nothing. Not just nothing...probably lowkey humiliation. He was always there to listen...Matt pushing him away-why was he still there? He felt tears escaping his eyelids, not knowing exactly if they were tears of anger or sadness.

#para #henry