#losing my utter mind

[cityelf]

Left is MY FIC, right is the ACTUAL BOOK QUOTE IT WAS INSPIRED BY

(Mask context: masquerade ball / cinderella au)

It has been doing numbers EVERYWHERE and I only found out from this lovely person who commented on Ao3:

So yeah I guess if anyone wants to read an 8 year old Song of Achilles fanfic written in a fever dream after watching Into The Woods, be my guest

#losing my utter mind #song of achilles #i never thought this would happen to meeeeee #tsoa

[moon1ee]

there is something to be said about jimmy’s death. something to be said about a curse looming over his head that they keep mentioning, as if repetition will dull the pain, will cause the bleeding wound to scab over and form calluses. something to be said about bdubs throwing himself forward, shouting “KILL ME”, something about joel trying to sacrifice himself. the love was there. so was the fear. the canary sings a warning. then comes the bloodshed.

grian watches joel out of the corner of his eye, taking slow steps over the ramshackle bridge that looks over the server. joel sprints ahead, careless, movements strange and distorted, body tensed, fingers curling. the setting sun flashes red back into his eyes. a bloodied reflection. he is being reckless. he is going crazy. grian remembers last life, remembers passing through and hearing joel’s ear-spitting screaming, remembers cracking open a laugh as bloodlust that should not exist under stained green thrums through him. HOW ARE YOU DOING, JOEL, he called, and there is a snarl in response. “going a bit mad, going a bit MENTAL.”

joel was, in a word. dedicated. the best of them. the worst of them. grian remembers a pack of wolves, remembers fingers curling into pale fur, remembers agonized cries as the dogs fell.

he cannot ignore the similarities. run, rabbit, run.

he makes plans, he plots. he feels the time tick down. sends down explosives. one takes out four. he laughs, ear-splitting, thinks, i’m learning.

four. five. six. seven. he loses count. he doesn't stop.

joel’s teeth keep flashing.

grian sneaks down, around, ducks his head, whispers allyship to bigb and pearl, feels eyes humming around them.

he will not stop planning. he needs allies, in a place like this, after he loses his.

joel, he says, just kill me. the man glances at him, once, does not respond.

into battle they go. smoke rises in his lungs. scar, grinning, scar, falling, scar, protesting not to kill his beloved animal.

grian sees a creeper sneak up behind him, almost hisses a warning, stops himself. waits. watches. scar turns his head, jumps back, laughing. he has learned, too.

joel’s time is running out. grian runs after him.

joel is being reckless. he goes after scar. JOEL JUST KILL ME, grian shouts. "NO, NOT YOU," joel screams. "I'LL KILL HIM INSTEAD."

grian remembers a hand that stayed ever dedicated to the coming winter.

DO IT, and joel splits him, and then someone else, and then dies, the absolute fucking idiot, and they are. back where they started. or maybe right where they will end.

joel looks rabid in the moonlight. grian makes plans for when he is gone.

joel, just take one of my lives. just do it. "no," joel says, turning around, eyes searching frantically for something, for butter yellow canary wings that do not fill the space any longer, hands reaching to claw around grian's wrists, nails stinging, drawing blood. "you have to win," he says, pleads, begs, "for us. you have to."

grian says nothing.

joel is being reckless. he runs ahead. “scar-“ grian swallows down the name, frantic at the flash of red rushing off without him. JOEL.

lightning, singing his back. he turns. silent. shocked. remembers a hand’s agonized scream. remembers an attempt at revenge that ended him.

the bad boys were never that army of dogs in renchanting, were never loyal enough for it. too brittle, too untrusting, even jimmy. especially jimmy.

there is a tombstone. grian does not grieve. his sorrow is short-lived. he has a new alliance now, new loyalties. ones that may be smarter. it is for the best.

tick tick tick.

his wrists still ache.

edit: cross-posted on ao3!

#i am losing my utter mind i wrote smth really fast is this even good who knows #trying my hand at some prose or smth. idk. #bad boys #limited life smp #limited life spoilers #grian #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans #mcyt #mcyt fanfic #writing #trafficblr #3rd life smp #jimmy solidarity #og post #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #desert duo #moonie writes

[day-mark]

i actually cant with these ccs, you say that because q was nice to you personally that means he cant possibly be a bad person. but this entire past month has been ccs harping nonstop about how just because dteam seem nice doesnt mean theyre good people, we never know whats happening behind the scenes and how we shouldnt trust the front they put forward(mind you they say this and act like we should put our full trust into them, someone we also dont know). like do these people hear themselves . seems like its more about their word being law and wanting everyone to only listen to them than it is about warning people of being blinded by rose-colored glasses.

#neg #these ccs are so fucking stupid #the hypocrisy is making me lose my damn mind #how can these people all be so unaware #like i am baffled at their way of thinking and utter lack of self-reflection #like yeah you know them more than us but also so many fucking people were blind-sided by the actions of shitty ccs hello????

[croziers-compass]

Look at him. That's the guy. Look at his wee hands and his fingerless mittens cradling a cup. Behold my Captain.

#Francis Crozier #I'm just losing my mind #utter losing my mind #I need to stick my tongue into his mouth #the terror

[slutdge]

my parents rlly replaced all the original hardwood flooring with sad gray peel and stick faux wood flooring and painted over all the wooden cabinets and wall paneling with sad gray paint in our 90 year old farmhouse that my great grandfather built huh

#losing my fucking mind yall destroyed that house 😭 #these people are maniacs that need to be stopped #like yeah the lifelong abuse they put me through sure but this alone is a crime big enough to warrant a DEATH SENTENCE #shut up judas #homesick #they ALSO repainted the barn to an ugly ass shade of blue like the brown was FINE yall made it SO UGLY #just burn the whole fuckin place down at this point and move into a sad gray millenial studio apartment #anyways i dont live with my parents anymore and i havent for over 5 years now since i moved out #so i didnt know they were doing this #you can imagine my utter heartbreak and shock when i saw it for the first time

[void-tiger]

…sometimes I just. Think about. How literal siblings get stuck with rumors they’re dating, and m-f friendships often don’t get a chance to truly start or develop because of the strain those assumptions and pressure causes…

…while literal same-gender and aspec-affirming couples get slapped with “like siblings” this and “just really good friends” that.

And then how this gets even more reductive with infighting like “m-f friendships can only occur when one of them is homosexual,” or aspecs picking at eachother over rep until it’s a very specific type of aroace on the aroace spectrum of the aspec spectrums (and nobody’s actually happy), and of course fanon ships pitted against gen-no-ships…

…and how everyone just ends up feeling stressed out and invalidated. Because anything—and I do mean anything—that doesn’t fit neatly inside of the heteronormative narrative of “men and women can’t be friends, men and women must be romantically involved, people of the same gender and/or aspec/any other queer identity(ies) must never date.”

And how it makes the queers and cichets alike absolutely miserable.

#tiger’s musings #…that post about The Gay Birds and conservatives losing their fucking minds #and how many times I’ve had people Just Assume or Consistantly Forget my brother and I are dating…not helped by we look Nothing alike #and just. the utter BULLSHIT I have gone through to guard friendships and the chance to even be friends at all #and often wondering why I’m even doing this…besides the Good Men are often timid and This Problem Will Exist Everywhere #so…either I fight. or I remain isolated. #…but I’m so tired of fighting. #and. nevermind when emotions aren’t so Clearcut. it’s not even worth mentioning when THIS. Friendship AT ALL. #just can’t be allowed to exist. gets scrutinized to death when it finally DOES like a dandelion growing through pavement #but without that resiliency. especially when I get tired of being the one to fight for it #or if the other party ever is…I’m so so weary of them all being silent about it #just. let friendships and queer relationships EXIST already #and let them be ‘complicated’ too

[pstelwitchcraft]

I love that every single creature this table has ever had on speed dial eventually regrets it, doesn't matter if it's Gods, people, warcrime wizards... i literally cannot wait for fearne to start calling that champion of Asmodeus every time she has a vaguely related question until Asmodeus himself is like "just let her go dude this is way too much work"

#i was literally losing my mind laughing at that 4× divination to the changebringer #these people OH MY GOD #i love them so much but they've annoyed every single NPC they've ever met #in a matter of SECONDS #with multiple different kinds of personalities too 🤣🤣 #critical role #cr spoilers #cr3 #bells hells #critical role c3 #exorcism by utter annoyance

[chenpire]

my post series recommendation is that if you've never listened to the orchestral version of hero by faouzia while thinking about Wilhelm and Simon's utter trainwreck of a romance, you should. I think you should.

#shows #young royals #I have loved this show truly #and it can never not be political for me given where I grew up and my own convictions but I don't think the crew copped out of the politics #maybe it's a gentler version of the story than reality would allow but it's a wonderful example of #thoughtful naturalistic visual storytelling that is largely uninterested #in overexplaining or justifying it's narrative #while still remaining loyal to it's thematic baseline #I'd love to actually get around to some of that meta I vauged about post s2 on class and setting and possibly I will in May #when I have room for thoughts #because I do still want to make my points about how the personalisation of politics usually makes people blind to the systemic issue at han #which I think the show balanced pretty nicely #if you grew up or are growing up in a constitutional monarchy and you're not really engaged with your local republican movement #maybe now would be a good time to start thinking about it #a lot of people think 'well it's an archaic system so it should go' and leave it at that but the issues run so much deeper #than who the head of state is and this stuff is really worth considering if this is the political system the currently defines your future #anyway I'll put my praxis down for the time being #and just take a moment to appriciate this fantastic variation on the age old theme #isn't love really just a form of madness #like doesn't first love just kind of make you utterly lose your mind in a way that could conceivably bring empires to their knees #in all of it's single minded innocence and utter irrationality #cause yeah....yeah I remember that

[underskz]

min in black !!! min in white !!!

#stray kids #kim seungmin #has there ever been like #a moment #or outfit on an idol that just completely resets ur brain #brings u to utter tears and ur heart is literally dying #i’m crying bleeding fighting losing sobbing rn #i sound literally out of my mind kfjdjsjk #IN PAIN OK #nobody talk to me for the next 24 hrs pls n thank zzxxxxx #– stray kids #– seungmin

[dutybcrne]

I need to write up a thing ant how Kazu treats relationships like there will Never be enough time

#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #//In a nutshell #//losing Tomo scarred him; and for a time even after Vision Hunt Devree is over #//He treats his relationships; Esp those with Inazuman folks; like he could lose them at any time #//Not even in an angsty Protective way #//More like he’s never one to let things go unsaid; always makes room for an extra kiss or embrace #//Will always drop EVERYTHING for them the moment they ask; bc he canNOT let a single moment go #//Ebery moment they give him and more; he takes; and eagerly so #//He has wondered it it’s selfish of him to want like this; will even ask them if they think so too #//But yeah; post Vision Hunt Decree/coming back to Inazuma; his World Revolves Around Them #//He’s an absolute Glutton for their love; an utter addict; while also giving them Every Little Bit of his own and himself he has to offer #//Until he gets a bit of a healthier grip on that urge; What it is; and quells his fears some #hc; kazuha #//Eh; this works for now #//But will prolly do one that makes more Sense later jfnfn #//Interrupting memes bc this Popped into my head #//It’s esp the case with people he can’t see as often bc he still travels w Beidou #//Peolly easiest for him to love sb like Bei; who is a constant by his side #//On the contrary; it’s easier for him to keep his mind sharp with those of long distance; as he pines for them & awaits their reunions tho

[loserfrankenstein]

this world is NOT too much you're right mr camus thank you

#txt #reading the myth of sisyphus between classes so i don't start losing my mind from the utter pointlessness

[navree]

"You need to sleep, Aegon," she says quietly. 

His eyes are already wet when they meet her's. "How?" 

this is the saddest shit i’ve ever written and i cannot believe it’s for the dragon incest show

#personal #in my defense how am i NOT supposed to lose my mind about blood and cheese now #for one it's just literally such an awful thing #for two the thing that causes it was an accident!! #plus for show verse i'm so team greens that i really wanna delve into their reactions about it #and in the books it's made pretty clear that aegon's descent into utter ruthlessness is basically a direct result of what happened #that the seeds were there but helaena and his kids and alicent being attacked like that and put through that #really did a number on him psychologically #so now it's time to think about the number it did on EVERYONE psychologically and then weep for a thousand years

[toonbly]

does anyone have the deep fried koopa image with the impact font "IT WOULD BE SO AWFUL. IT WOULD BE SO CRUEL" please please it makes me laugh so fucking hard i need to see it again

#images of just utter existential dread make me lose my mind theyre so fucking funny. that sounds edgy but like not like that #me when it finally happens has brought me to tears like twice this week HFJSFKJSDFJSDF #JUST THE ACCEPTANCE. ITS SO FUNNHFKJDFHKJDSF

[valkyrietookmoved]

Finally got to start Obbligato and man... Kaname, Jun and Tatsumi dynamics has got my whole brain turning all the time I love they're so stupid when put together <3

#enstars #utter rambling #himeru #kaname tojou #jun sazanami #tatsumi kazehaya #the whole Jun-Kaname first meeting made me lose my mind #they were so funny and Kaname said so many things that hint at just... all the nagst that goes on underneath the Himeru persona #they're great I love them #not even halfway done I can't wait for everything to go to shit /pos

[abyssmalice]

@mascheremonoceros​: "In a heartbeat...Within reason of course."

@narvvhal​: Depends on who are you going to ask me to k-word. Knowing you, I probably will have to refuse.

“Why are you all so boring! It’s just one god! One measly Archon! We can always get another Tsaritsa, can’t we?”

#ic | (heard and loved); #crack | (an egg with some toast); #mascheremonoceros #narvvhal #(losing my utter mind here at 9pm)