#look mom new tires

[angelboybreakdowns]

im so tired

#its exhausting living here #im the bad guy in every situation #every time i dont accomodate her stupid bullshit whims im evil and creating conflict #dean you arent allowed to get lunch for yourself bc she wants to do a baking project &youre too Disgusting to be in the same room as her fo #*food #dean you arent allowed to listen to music out loud in your room but she can play her music in the living room while you have a migraine #dean you have to ask her what food she wants from town bc she doesnt feel like texting mom herself #dean you have to stop laughing because she thinks your laugh is annoying #dean you arent allowed to eat the bread that was bought for you because she decided she wanted it #dean you arent allowed to wear the one piece of mens clothing youve ever gotten to buy apart from plaid shirts bc she thinks youre too fat #dean you arent allowed to correct her when she says things about you that are objectively untrue #dean she wants to hang out in the living room go back to your room so she doesnt have to be around you #dean she wants a book for english class you have to give her one of yours #dean you arent allowed to be angry at her for ripping the cover off one of your favorite books & nrver apologizing that was years ago #dean you arent allowed to make plans with your friends this weekend bc she might want to hang out w her friends & wants to keep moms schedul #schedule open to drive her #dean you arent allowed to eat until she serves herself #dean if youre making food & she refuses to eat bc you were in the kitchen thats your fault #dean how dare you say her hair looks like sam winchesters #dean you cant be angry when she calls you fat & ugly & disgusting & tells you to kill yourself you shouldnt let it get to you #sui mention #dean you cant get new pants bc she wants to buy this dress that she’ll never wear #dean its not a big deal when she misgenders you she waa just joking #dean shes not ableist bc youre the only autistic person she thinks is faking it for attention #im just so goddamn tired

[airenyah]

dunk saying he's never met anyone who likes hugging as much as joong does is making me laugh really hard as a very touchy-feely person myself bc like yeah. dunk has clearly never met me (and that's probably a good thing dfkkjdfkjd)

#no for real tho i'll be looking for any possible excuse to go get another hug from my friends #sometimes in my friend groups i'll go for a second goodbye hug once everyone else is done saying goodbye #everyone will be like ''but you've already hugged this person goodbye??'' and i'll be like ''SO??? CAN'T I GET ANOTHER HUG??? 😭'' #sometimes i don't even look for excuses to hug my friends sometimes i'll just straight up walk up to them and hug them out of the blue #it's worse when i'm really tired #i can't tell you the amound of times i've heard ''awww is airenyah tired again??'' on days i am really affectionate... kskfkgfd #anyway no i get it. i get joong #maybe that's why i enjoy them as a pair so much bc i just feel really represented lmaooo #airenyah plappert #joongdunk #รถทาเลนท์ #we have guests coming over in 5 mins and i'm only 4mins into the video oops #looks like i won't make it to the end of the show before the doorbell rings kjkjdf #i feel a strong urge to go hug my mom now ngl #also!! only the other day i sent my friend a message that went #''can i come over for a hug in the new year? 🥺'' #(my friend said yes 💃🏻) #(i don't even need to hang out with him tbh i'm happy to just show up at his door squeeze him for 5mins straight and leave again lol)

[dnangelic]

well , if he's going to be stuck like this for a while , might as well stay in his room and watch some tv ...

#*･ﾟ⊰ IC. ⊱ #solve fyuga problem.... new problem (stuck purple until he finds smth to get his heart beating) #id keep writing butTTT my eyes r getting tired i think #break time #ill prob still lowkey b around tho #would anybody else b surprised to actually see dark doing normal things or is just tht me.... #hes too cryptid shaped seeing him chilling on a couch even if its dai in control is like #idfk seeing ur math teacher at a grocery store #like. u live outside the liminal space? weird. dark or what looks like him should not b watching his mom's soaps #he should be stealing. always #forever #I RAMBLED. SORRY. RUNS OFF TO GRAB MY THERMAL EYEMASK

[angelsdean]

i am like. at my limit with interacting w/ ppl bc *gestures vaguely* holidays. and now my old boss, who's also a long time family friend, is texting me out of the blue asking what i've been doing? if i'm working? etc and like. i Cannot talk to u rn (this was yesterday) and then i wake up (8AM) to 2 recent missed calls from her like. i cannot talk to you rn!!! i hate ppl who expect you to always be available / able to respond immediately.

#also it's such a long story but. basically she sold the company i used to work for (remotely) months ago #and the new owner was like yes yes i want to keep you here. then. she ghosted me. and i was too neurodivergent abt it to contact her again #and now my old boss is asking what i've been doing (very sporadic freelance) #and my whole family thinks i'm still working for this family friend bc if i told them i wasn't i'd be a whole awful thing for me #and i've been LOOKING for other things but like. it has to be remote for reasons and it's been hard #but anyways now i'm paranoid this family friend is gonna reach out to my MOM bc i haven't answered her yet (it's been less than 24 hrs) #and if my mom finds out any of this... HELL ON EARTH for me. #and i'm so fucking tired. like i'm 28 fucking yrs old and still treated like a child bc i live at home like ?? believe me i'd love to not #this isn't by choice #anyways. VENT. sorry. i'm just. very close to become a rage monster in a meltdown so. tumblr vent to Cope lmao #delete later

[da-proti-toku-grem]

feeling like a total asshole today 👍

#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night #i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know #so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD #but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying #and i felt absolutely nothing #idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel #like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just????? #that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car) #and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow #and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago #i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back #not right now #not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week #but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go #and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now #and all i can think about is that i'm anxious #i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know #i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it #bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has #but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality #why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain #like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings #i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it #i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it #i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly #so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language) #is easier than talking in spanish #and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind #but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/ #i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit

[babylon5]

im gonna be real with you,

#i found out i cant go to the concert ive been looking forward to since December #for a band that has meant everything to me since i was 13 #because the shuttle isnt accessible like it claimed to be and we have a 10 minute walk from its dropoff location #which i can do in a wheelchair but my mom cannot #and my able bodied cousin swore she'd take me she said absolutely she would take me!! and then she said oops nevermind Last Week. #my mom made new plans to take me and this was a FUCKTON of money lost because she bailed on us #and now my mother is crying because my cousin still hasnt paid back any of the money we lent her years ago #and now we've just lost more #and im on disability the only one here with an income btw lol what we spent was half my monthly paycheck!! #im tired of this world not being accessible to the disabled #im tired of people disappointing me on purpose #she didnt even bail to us directly she had her mother (my moms sister who have a deeply uncomfortable relationship) call my mom and inform- #her that her daughter was suddenly bailing because she doesnt like concerts ?!? after promising multiple times?? ok. #sorry this is an insane vent im just. IM TIRED. I am so tired. #it was supposed to be the first good and genuinely fun day for me in months.

[hauntingblue]

Little sister spoiling katakuri's fun who woulda thot

#getting real tired of the donuts man #why does the reporter bird man want the strawhats to win over mom... for a news headline?? #a best little sister contest?? ajdhakqa #nami getting zeus andjskdnsksk #the animals just watching rayleigh hit luffy akdhsksj #omg chopper got slashed #THE FUCKING CAKE!!! FINALLY!!! #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 865 #sanji doing his shit and nami and jinbe wondering what is that strange energy comong from bege's ship akdhaks #oh noooo chiffon giving pudding hope with sanji.... girl... did you see how he just danced for nami ajdhsksj #sanji getting a nami hug... undeserved if he didn't poison the cake.... look at everything shes gone thru #episode 866 #what is the chewing gum girl doing there... just to make it more difficult for luffy to beat katakuri now that he even has the possibility #to win #omg WHAT was THAT #GIRL!!!!!!! THIS IS A DUEL!!! HAVE SIME RESPECT #the doffy theme (i think thats the first time it appeared) its being misused sooo much.... its playing now when they are just talking about #being in danger..... #jesus christ luffy.... #now katakuri is getting mad bc luffy is getting sloppy (not his fault) #but the music with the katakuri fight is so good..... #oh jesus luffy...... another teeth out.... even katakuri is getting worried #wait a second... the guitar.... #true love is changing bege.... #they are taking the tamato box explosion as something intentional akdjsksjkq #throw the mirror into the sea and then get it back lmao??? #oh he was starting to admire him..... well stay disappointed but blame your sister lmao damn the blood #episode 867

[deathsmallcaps]

My mom has suddenly decided I say sorry to much. And she’s right but god getting angry at me about it just triggers it :pppppppppppppppppppp

(She hates it when I stick my tongue out at her so :ppppppppppppp more)

SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY

:pppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

It also makes me angry because it reminds of all the times I’ve had to apologize and I DIDNT MEAN IT. And by ‘didn’t mean it’ I’m talking about the times where I had to be the bigger person or someone else was having a power trip or some shit. >:ppppppppp

I just want a totally guiltless, consequence free day where I can be as mean as fancy strikes me. And this is okay. It’s an unrealistic dream and should stay that way. But it’s also okay to feel aggressive and hurt. Two things, surprisingly, can be true at the same time. :ppppppppppppppppppp

#suddenlyish. this ain’t the first time #vent #don’t mind interactions just ain’t looking for solutions #my mom and I had a good day today actually #I’m just winding down and feeling things #my mom cannot function when it’s cold #and by cannot function I mean more her neural pathways for being nice shut down #she’s improved a lot but between her and customer service things to do today I’m just feeling a little upset #I’m also week 8 out from my period and goddamn this hormone shit is cumulative #like you’d think #oh dsc gee whiz since it’s been 8 weeks since your last period #assuming it starts tomorrow #that means all the steps of the period cycle were stretched out proportionally over the doubled length #NOOOOOOO ITS CUMULATIVE #it was 10 weeks in between the second to last one and the last one and I WAS FUCKING MANIC #FUCKKKKKK #BUT IN GOOD NEWS I GOT TO LISTEN TO ALL THE WAKANDA FOREVER SONGS TODAY #AND I GOT A NEW WINTER COAT BASICLALY FOR FREE AND ATE CHEESECAKE AND HAD A GOOD MINI DANCING SESSION #I DO NOT NEED TO MENTION GOOD THINGS IN ORDER TO MAKE MY NEGATIVE FEELINGS VALID BUT IM STILL CONVINCING MYSELF OF THAT FACT AND IM TIRED #AND YELLING FEELS GOOD. UNFORTUNATELY IM AT MY DAD’s house so if I scream I’d probably wake a neighbor #SO IM GONNA SCREAM HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #the cute aggression article on Wikipedia is a fun read #EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION #I might go eat more cheesecake

[bunnyb34r]

I seriously need to get my ass in gear and start cranking out crafts for craft shows (and apply 😒) but my brain is like "no ❤" and my body is like "no 🖕" so idk man

#marquilla #i have ideas on what i wanna make ornament wise and i have a pinterest board (i know i know) of ideas too so it's still SOMETHING but ughhh #i do have clothespins painted! i just need to magnetize them and paint more blah blah blah but those i make to use up left over paint from #my paint palettes from other projects and it's something to keep busy with when I'm waiting for things to dry in between coats #i always get one Clothespins Georg who buys $5 worth and then maybe sell 4 more stragglers per show sgdgdggd the best was when this little #girl who had to be around 7 or so came up and she bought $5 worth (25) and we were like okay we'll hold the bag and count and you pick #whateeeever ones you want and then we gave her an extra for free sggdgdgd she was actually with the table behind me and we didnt know that #and then we heard her at that table like 'mom look what i bought!' sgdgdggd too cute #i probably have enough inventory tbh but i wanna make new shit 😩 but im so tired

[diegoshargrieves]

listening to my parents talk about me is so fucking funny. "she's dealt with us for so long that at this point she's done. she's mentally checked out from having to give a shit about anyone. can you believe how corruptible she is just because she's almost an adult and she thinks that we're not her problem anymore?"

like man you are literally so close. so fucking close.

#no it's not that ive dealt with everyone for my whole life and now im selfish and dont want to give a shit about anyone anymore #its that ive dealt with everyone my entire life ive been an emotional support pillar ive been rotting in this toxic dysfunctional household #ive been a third parent ive stepped in for my dad when he spontaneously decides to be a deadbeat ive supported my mom without fail #whenever shes needed it for years. ive dealt with everyones fits of mania & psychosis & breakdowns & chronic pain & depressive episodes #ive had my mental illness trivialized and belitted and downplayed. im exhausted and traumatized and so fucking burned out #of course it looks like ive given up on everyone from the outside because im struggling !! im struggling mentally and emotionally #and its spilling out in all the wrong ways and they just see it as me letting my anger ruin my character and everyone else around me #they dont care if theres something wrong with me even though im throwing out signs and cries for help literally wherever i can #they just care that theyre affected by it and inconvenienced by my deteriorating mental condition #they think this mentally ill freak is just what i am at this point and they cant stop emotionally blackmailing me #by reminiscing about how i used to be so kind and optimistic. i wish they would just fucking see me for once #ive played the role of the good emotional support eldest daughter my entire life. why didnt they think it would blow up at some point #and when i have tried opening up in moments of severe emotional vulnerability they just throw it back in my face later on #while simultaneously telling me i just need to change my outlook on life because im still young and cant define myself by childish problems #mom you are depressed and anxious you should recognize it better than anyone. you should be able to see it for what it is #instead of telling me to go spend a week volunteering at a cancer hospital so i can go see what real problems exist for people in the world #and what other people are going through and maybe ill come out with a new appreciation for life #mom just bc people are dying of cancer doesnt mean i can't be depressed just bc other people have it worse doesnt mean i cant have it bad #im so fucking tired! #3 am vent post yippee i am going to regret oversharing on the internet so badly when i wake up tmrw

[transgnckon]

I got some markers and brush tip pens, a Daisy squishmallow, some cute pink & white new shoes, a new phone, a little banner to hang my Disney pins, some tiny bags for my dolls, two sweaters, a Disney book abt Sally from nightmare before Christmas, my mom gave me 14 issues of N52 Superboy comics & a Superboy pin

#txt #my mom told me she thought the comics looked older so that’s why she got them #she wasn’t sure if I would like them like when she saw them I could sob #I had 0 Superboy solo issues before I got this so Idc idc I’ll take 14 issues of n52 Superboy #my aunt was also worried if I already had a Daisy squishmallow or not bc she didn’t know I have so many plushies #I saw it during the summer during a road trip and I was going to buy it but I missed my chance #the markers make me was to doodle again bc oh my goodness I miss coloring w my markers #& w me rearranging my room the other day I got to rearrange & take out all my art supplies!! #so I have ALLLLLL my markers w me tee hee #I should also use my water colors again to like practice w them it’s also been so long since I’ve used water color #I need to rearrange my pins on the pin banner too!!! figure out where I’m going to hang it #also obviously the Superboy pin goes on the banner IDC #I can also put my Sam Nova pin on there :) #also I’m so excited to wear my new shoes they were exactly the ones I wanted so cute the shade of pink is so perfect #happy happy dayyyyy #I’m so tired though #I stayed up till 1am #bc the party ended at like 11:30 & we cleaned the whole house #it went by pretty fast #then we opened are gifts for each other which took awhile #then my little brother and sister woke me up for the other gifts we got from ‘Santa’ aka our parents too #which was like at 5 am #now it is 10 am but I am still so sleepy

[xxlelaxx]

i probably got postnatal anxiety... aint that something...

#ignore me #food is also becoming so hard again #i hate it when i have to look out for what i eat cause it never ends well #like genuinely all i need to do is eat healthy which i kinda do anyways but the moment i HAVE to do it it always ends with starving myself #which is amazing while having to produce milk for a new born #which opened a whole new can of anxieties #i feel like its only a matter of time until someone takes her from me cause im such a horrible mother #shes still so tiny #im terrified of losing her or my husband #he keeps reassuring me and doing his best but i looked it up and all my symptoms fit #low energy but still not being able to sleep crying all the time and the general anxiety #we went for a walk and to a shop today though and tomorrow ill see my lil brother #i am so easily overwhelmed #but im also so tired #but i cant sleep #i just cant #mom life updates

[ganseyandjane]

i've been turning a blind eye to it even though i've been aware of it happening for years but it has almost become way worse yet i don't feel like i've done enough to stop it

#long story short my mom almost joined an em el em #because she lost one of her jobs and we need money and she's tired of trying to apply for another and work #she wants to 'work from home' and because she has friends who SEEM to be making a lot of money from it #she's convinced that it's a good move and she could achieve the same #and its just so frustrating because i'm eating food cooked from overpriced pots those friends sold to us years ago #and i still have empty bottles of essential oils that i'm pretty sure were also sold to us by those same friends #and i've known for years that my parents' friends were shilling these things but i didn't know much about the subject #so i didn't want to 'enlighten' my parents on it (especially my mom who's the one actually buying these things) #i couldn't be bothered and its not like they were actually joining any of them #her telling me about this new business they want to start was what did it for me #i'm glad i kept prying before it was too late because there was too many red flags #however she still seems so unconvinced about why its a bad idea... i'm saving our family's finances but she doesn't seem to believe me #even though i do think she won't go through with it #and i'm just worried #those friends are the reason we were able to migrate here #one of them is my brother's godmother #the other one knew both my parents for years before i was even born #i don't want to say bad things about them but i hate that they're influencing my mom this way #idk if they're directly telling her these things or if she's just looking from the outside #i hope she's not too stubborn to just. believe that i have her best intentions. me. her first born child. #ugh idk maybe i should just talk to my dad since apparently he was still skeptical too #im so saaaaaaaad #idk how to help my family aside from taking extra shifts to cover bills ;___;

[milo-is-rambling]

Secret spare tire compartment will fix everything

#having someone come out and change the popped tire to the spare tonight #and then tomorrow maybe I’ll take the car to the tire place maybe or mom could go on a lunch break or something #and get a new one bc we have a warranty on the new tires we just got #also ew my wrist looks so naked without my watch like ough the tan lines too it’s so bad I hate it putting my watch back on now I feel nude

[ananas-pineapple-thing]

i made a creature <3

#its name is Beast #sorry 4 not being online again lol im just so tired #ive been doing a lot of conflict resolution for my sister and parents which is suuuuper stressful #also my mom got mad at me this morning for having a headache bc apparently being young means u can’t have health problems. like ok #anyways that made me sad so now im being emo in room #in my room* #sorry for complaining on tumblr.edu i would normally complain 2 my sisters but i don’t want them starting fights on my behalf #n e ways #should i make a tag for my crochet stuff? i post a lot of it and i want to be able to look back when i get better at it #i also made a new coaster that u can kinda see in the background. it’s the pink one :) #omg this is so unrelated but spiderman musical songs keep getting stuck in my head. i might actually relisten and that makes me SO mad #peyyi crafts #new tag 🫣

[fuitygummy]

I think I’m failing therapy

#personal fuity shit #I can’t answer my therapist’s questions #I feel like I’m only repeating myself every session #I can’t do the things she asks me to. and I don’t even know why. I just can’t #I don’t exercise. I don’t leave my room. I barely drink water. I have an eating disorder #I honestly don’t know what she could do for me. and I noticed she doesn’t either #maybe I truly am a lost cause #I’m stuck in place. can’t get better and sometimes seems to be getting worse #when I told her I don’t even want to live anymore she kinda got. pissed at me? #she made it sound like ‘being alive only because I don’t want to make my mom sad’ is the most insane and wildest thing she’s ever heard #and that I was crazy to even think about it #as if that wasn’t my only thought for like idk 8 years or so #ALSO she keeps putting my bisexual identity in question every opportunity she gets. like wtf #just because I’ve never hooked up with a girl doesn’t make me any less bi #‘are you truly bi or just curious?’ idk and idc ma’am you’re the one bringing this up and making it look like a problem #I’ve got lots of complaints but. it’s not easy to quit #I’d have to tell my mom an excuse as to why I want another therapist #and looking for a new therapist is just nightmare #I’m just tired. really wish I could think about killing myself more in depth without feeling guilty #thinking about how my mom’s life would be shattered and all the pain I’d cause her gives me goosebumps. it breaks my heart