#look i included a few cause like hes queer but we dont know what

[thetangycheesemanwithaplan]

[Icons] Dressed cute, might come out later 💋 

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One still//Four Flags

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#911 #evan buckley #i had these ready to go omg #s7 spoilers #7x04 #evan buck buckley #pride icons #look i included a few cause like hes queer but we dont know what #were on the journey with him as he figures i ou #squealing crying #Leo Icons #Ill deffo make more lol #911 abc

[winderlylandchime]

I wrote this all out while pretending to work and actually working so it’s a little all over the place. But now I’m laughing reading it back because it genuinely looks like one of the “check up” texts I send to mom/dad about my brother. Minus the qaf related topics at the end. Anyway, hi! Hope you’re doing well and had a good start of the week! And now back to the idiot I’m related to:

Take a guess who has been listening to Lover’s spit sincere yesterday? I’m talking sitting outside, drinking his coffee while it’s absolutely freezing and listening to Lover’s spit like he’s in some sad music video. (Btw the songs he listened to were Lover’s spit, you look so fine (which was in like s1 so he was really going through it), Save the last dance, Here nor there and true faith. And this was on a loop!) And the only thing he has “said” to me so far is just a simple lip smack with a side eye whenever he looks at me. So i’d say he is doing as expected but he’s also upset with me for making him like the show (bc yeah, i did that. I made him have a crush on Brian)

He also has bunch of doctor check ups today and I can only drop him off and later pick him up since my work is hectic since holiday’s are coming up. And ngl i am keeping all the doctors and nurses in my thoughts today. Usually (even tho it doesn’t look like it) i stop him or at least limit his ramblings so i have no clue how today will go. He might surprise me and behaves like an adult. Also he said that he barely slept overnight because he kept thinking about what could happen in the last 3 episodes and in case you wanted to know, he told me that through the cat. As in ‘Brian, guess who didn’t sleep today cause of Justin and the other Brian? That’s right, me’ and yes, it was said in a baby voice. I did also get a text from his friend asking me if he’s doing okay cause apparently he sent him a voice memo “talking about Brian and how he’s really worried about him” and my brother has absolutely no memory of even sending that. All this is just after 5x09. I am mentally not prepared for him after the finale.

But to answer some of your questions since I didn’t have the chance to yesterday: He only watches the American RuPaul. And he watched season 5 because of Jinkx (on Saturday he watched the video they did with Trixie a few years ago so he started to miss them). And yes, he has managed to drag the entire family into qaf although grandma has no fucking clue what or who he’s talking about so she just nods her head and smiles. And grandpa only knows about it through grandma who is even less reliable than my brother. But he is very happy that he found a hobby even tho at first he thought Brian was his friend. So basically: yes, he has made it everyone’s problem.

And you saying he’s just like Debbie if she was a man made me laugh so hard cause I’ve been thinking the same thing! Im glad someone agrees with me. And I’m happy(?) to report that 3 of our cousins and our aunt(!) actually got in trouble with our grandpa because it turns out they had bets going on if he’ll figure out by the end of the show that he might be a little queer. And then during a family dinner last week it was revealed that it was our uncle who was the one behind the bets and it was his husband who exposed him (yes the uncles whose wedding he went to with rainbow hair). And no it was not cause he thought the bets were immature but because my uncle didn’t let him be in charge with him. So I’d say the whole family is kinda waiting to see what happens and also treating it like their personal entertainment since we do tend to be more chill with these topics (which is such a huge blessing and we really are lucky about the fact that they dont even bat an eye at anything queer related including coming outs). Also I honestly have no idea how he will react to the proposal. I keep trying to think about it and I can never pinpoint his reaction. His reaction to the comic book was as if he saw the worst thing ever so we shall see. Which tbh same, i always hated that cover story :/

As for the Gale/Randy/Hal thing: first of, I didn’t expect that people were going to later talk about it to you so i hope I didn’t cause problems for you of any kind. But I do admit that even years later, it’s still a topic that has me curious since we know so little and since the lack of social media meant they (aka hal) was shady in interviews. Who does that omg? But also: i was so shocked when he said that. Wish you could see him cause he really had that look in his eyes as if he was there and saw them arguing every day and had inside knowledge and like I was the one who didn’t know anything about qaf. You could literally see the wheels turning in his head trying to figure out if he was right or not. I do wonder how he will feel about it once I tell him the little info I know about.

Btw, im glad to hear you cat is doing well. It is the absolute worst when an animal is sick since they can’t tell you what’s wrong. So please give Emmett some kisses and pets!

Oh and the most important part: your little teasers about your fic are making me lose my mind. Nonbinary Gus?! Older Brian?? I might lose my mind completely when i get the chance to read it.

Anon! I was just texting Europe about your brother. It’s now 12:45 as I start to write this and look:

I’m so glad you wrote because I wanted to remind you and let you make a decision based on whether he’s been paying attention to the titles.

I’m sorry I find it so funny he’s angry with YOI for making him care so much about this show and fall in love with Brian. It’s like when my dogs are mad at me for the rain. (If you’re doing math I have 2 dogs, 2 cats, all rescues because some lesbian stereotypes are accurate.)

Your family is taking bets about whether your brother is going to come out as so form of queer? I love that! Way better than the qaf family taking bets about how long Justin and Brian were going to last.

Don’t worry about mentioning the drama from the cast! I’m still so impressed with how insightful your brother is and how much he’s picked up on everything that the fandom discusses at length. The dynamics between the cast were bound to be one.

Emmett the cat continues to do well and come back from poor pathetic sickly mewmew to absolute bastard of a cat. We love to see it.

I am hoping to start posting my fic next week. I was hoping to have more done but oh well! I need the pressure of readers to focus lol. I’m so glad you’re excited!

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

[popculturebuffet]

Star Vs: Monster Bash Review or “Holy Shit Concentrated Into An Episode”

Hello everybody! I’m Jacob Mattingly and welcome back to my tom lucitor retrospective, where I go through every major apperance of everyone’s faviorite demon boy boy. In case you watch my schedule or reguarlly read this blog, and if so thank you.. especially you Kevin your a peach, you’ll know this one got pushed back two weeks because the day it was scheduled.. was the day AFTER the US Capitol Insurgency. So yeah an episode HEAVILY dealing with racisim, with a downer ending and a lot to dig into on the same day a bunch of racists stormed the captail to try and illegally keep another racist in office due to his bullshit claims the electoin was fraud, when it wasn’t he just can’t admit he lost, and their own idocy, violence and hatred was not something I could handle that day and I did some mickey mouse instead.  But while the effects of said riot are still being felt, and unlike many republicans are saying we shouldn’t just “move on” or “try to heal” because the wound needs to be properly examined so the people who carved our country open with a rusty knife can be prosecuted for it, enough time has passed that I can get back on the horse and eat that horse when it comes to this episode. Also expect new tomtrospective weekly with some exceptions till it’s done. So with the real world reasons for the delay out of the way, on with the show.  Previously on Star Vs: Star had a full subplot dealing with her super powered mewberity form, which was now golden and creating bunches of portals. While she wanted to just let it go loose on Eclipsa’s suggestoin, eventually it caused too much damage and Hekapoo was livid when Marco revealed he’d been covering for her and Star, realizing her friend was running himself ragged and ruined a friendship to help her, went to the source of all magic to fix things, metting the baby unicorns and with thier help gaining control over her form. While she does not use it given she JUST got it before this episode, it’s very relevant and makes her come off very stupid but we’ll get to that

In more directly relevant stuff, and our main event, we need to talk about Ms. Henious. Ms. Henious was introduced all the way back in Season 1 as head of St. Olga’s School for Wayward princsesses. She’s voiced by Jessica Walter, aka Malory Archer, Lucille Bluth and .. Fran Sinclair from dinosaurs?

I’ll process that later. Point is she’s a talented lady and voiced Henious perfectly. Henious ran the school as a nightmarish hellhole that stripped away princsesses indviduality when they became too much for their parents. Granted some did genuinely need to be reigned in, Pony went there and so did princess squishy a princess that tried to reinact the plot of face off despite her and star not even being the same species let alone looking remotely similar.. she also liked to say camera phone a lot despite all phones being camera phones for over a decade. 

But again like most reform schools it’s a hell hole dedicated more to beating and psyihholically tourturing the rebel or asshole out of you than actually helping so Star and Marco broke in to break out. It naturally was difficult and strenious but in the process our heroes freed the other girls and Marco became feminsest icon Princess Marco. And Marco’s possible gender fluidity, or being trans,  was well loved and while he was later said to hate the princess marco idntenity later.. I still dont’ quite buy it and feel Disney just wanted to nip any implications in the bud. Because their stupid and often non-inclusive to the queer community and have to be fought to get inclusivity in there half the time. Could’ve been clumsy writing and the writers not getting people really relating to marco possibly being gender fluid or trans, which given this season’s clumsy writing with marco in general I could buy, but i’m banking more on disney, where one executive can somehow stonewall gay representation because apparnetly one guy was the one who objected to enchanting grom fright.. and he can also go fuck himself with an old rhino’s horn. Which horn is up to you. Also we got two major hints at the future iwth her: a creepy mural star found of monsters and Henious being revealed to have cheek marks she supressed with her very own brainwashing machine. 

Our heroes revolution had uintetional side-effects as St.O’s became a party school, though it’s students actually still came back better for the moast part. Henious was thrown out, reduced to sleeping in her car with her manservant gemini and sending Rasticore, a septarian mercinary afer star.. and then carrying his arm around when he got reduced to that.. not because of star but because of a rogue gift card. We don’t have time to unpack that, so she later tried attacking one more time in season 2, in one of the single worst episodes of the series, as she attacked and Marco’s Parents, instead of being concerned about the strange woman and man and lizard man arm attacking thier children, were more concerned about.. tehir cool neighbors. which could’ve been funny but just got frustrating, especially because Marco defended himself well, pointing out while he trashed her school, and gets merchandising rights from princess marco merch, she you know, brainwashed innocent to semi innocent children and was in general horrible and his parents are only humoring her because they were both out of hte loop, which due to this being shortly before star and marco leaves amounts to nothing, and because of the stupid plot. 

So after that we got one more apperance in season 3 with her trying to expose marco as a boy to turn the princsses against him and get her school back.. but it was clearly a desperate and flimsy plan and they knew that already, and don’t care because their accepting. And again have done better without her so she gets thrown out and swore revenge on Marco, and here we are.  Finally, since returning Star’s been more active in monster rights, replacing their old batshit insane and patronizingly racist expert with Buff Frog and starting a position to get royal signatures. Obviously this dosen’t sound like the most effective way to do things but it’s both teenager accurate and not the worst plan i’ve heard from a teenager this week.. granted that’s also because I covered a teenager trying to win back her good for not a lot 23 year old boyfriend by stabbing his current girlfriend he left her for a bunch, so it’s not exactly a high bar to clear. So outside of the golden form thing, which i’ll get to in the review proper why I brought that up, that’s what’s all built up to this the mid season finale. While Stump Day DID come after this, I chose to cover it before it since it both takes place before that and feels out of place in the very story heavy episodes after it. So with that out of the way we’ll be taking a look at the full episode and Star’s horrible, no good, very bad night under the cut. 

We open at the Monster Temple, that place Ludo and Toffee were headquartered at for season 2 and the battle of mewni mini, where Star is holding a PARTY!

This.. this came up when I typed party. I don’t know why and I don’t WANT to know. I mean party is in the name.. is that a party line? Is this phone sex? No.. just no.. I don’t want dirty sweaty pigs in my phone sex.. I want Rocko like a gentlemen. 

Now THAT’S hot. And honestly with what i’ve admitted about myself at this point, can you genuinely tell if i’m joking or not?  Point is Marco and Rich Pidgeon are pitching in. Oh yeah those of you who didn’t get this far in the series, again hi kevin, might wonder wait whose that... well he’s a rich pidgeon, part of the pidgeon kingdom a kingdom of pidgeons that moved into another family’s castle, presumibly killed them, the book wasn’t specific on that and is now just a large bunch of pidgeons that don’t talk human except rich and get all creepy. They also have an excutioner which is as great a visual as you imagine. 

That and Marco tried faking singing rich singing it by shving a pien in his foot and making him sign it.. he didn’t know he was fully sapient but still. But it’s also season 3 marco. The fact he didn’t accidently burn the castle down trying to impress star and being mad when she wasn’t happy he comitted arson is an achievement. Rich apparently holds a grudge but says just kiddng.. maybe.. i’d be prepared for a pidgeon with a machete if I were Marco. Thankfully i’m not.. I mean I hate myself enough. 

Anyways the party is in full swing, as both monsters and mewmans are there. On the mewman sides are the royals we met at the Silver Bell Ball and on the monster side are a bunch of monster teens who look up to star we previously met during the Ludo arc in season 2. Pony arrives bringing a photo booth. And kelly! 

And also Johnny Blowhole...

That dolphin what showed up a few times, including in the comic and the show, like most of it’s supporting cast, just sorta forgot. Also was going to be my porn name, just in case till it ended up attached to a fictonal teenager. Did.. did not think naming a character “blowhole” through did they? 

Anyways the party is at “middle school dance” levels of awkward with the monsters and humans on other sides. Rock seems to be getting ready for a racist tyrade and singles out a yak like monster.. only to instead compliment the guy’s ripped jeans and the two compliment each other on horns... turns out the ones Rock always wear aren’t decorative but part of him due to a boating accident. Shame we never got more of this kid. that’s a good kid I tell you what.  But honestly and since the moment is right given their all in this episode.. we never get a lot of the other royals outside of tom and star PERIOD. While Penelope would show up one last time and Larry would make a cameo for the most part their just.. background filler. Even this pettitoin arc was two episodes long. Rich is BRAND new and he gets way more focus.. and even he only gets to show up again for the big “Gondor calls for aid moment” in season 4 where star summoned whoever she could get on short notice. And is the ONLY royal to besides Ponyhead. Larry has an intresting enough design but the underwater kingdom only got featured in the deep trouble tie in comic that got cut short, and he wasn’t created yet so he doesen’t even show up for it. Jagg’s is such a footnote to the creators she dosen’t ever show up after this, and finally Rock, despite being star’s COUSIN and despite his kingdom being specifically mentioned as the hardest to make sympathetic to eclipsa during her own entirely ignored arc trying to win over the other kingdoms, and despite it being where River comes from and thus possibly providing some more insight into that awesome, awesome man.. we get nothing. Hell the Cloud Kingdom of the Ponyeheads ONLY gets two visits despite being home of one of the main cast.. god I just realized Ponyhead was part of the main cast. 

So while I grapple with that, Star figures the punch is too warm and while Marco goes to get ice, she tries to remind him she can do magic and accidently puts it in your standard cartoon ice block.. and being star gets her tounge stuck. Thankfully her savior comes in the form of tom who being.. you know.. tom.. can simply melt it down and reminds her he’s been there the whole time. She’s just been a bit distracted with you know, trying to ease centuries of racial tension in a well meaning but ultimately pointless at best and risky at worst, partay. And dosen’t seem to get WHY she dosen’t want to dance.. even if they do have a REALY fucking cute moment where he leans in to kiss her, she catches him on it.. then blows a raspberry into his mouth when he does and smooches him on the cheek a bunch. 

But the whole thing leaves him as a grumpus venting to marco and boiling the punch.. though at least Marco gets to use that ice now so silver linings and all that. And when marco tries to explain he tells him he dosen’t “talk politics”

My baby boy.. i’m so disapointed in you. And Marco points out as he leaves “your a prince everything you do is political. “. Which is.. HALF true. I mean tom going to the bathroom or eating a taco or taking his grandpa fo ra walk on his leash so he dosen’t gouge anyones eyes out isn’t political.. but he’s also not wrong that being the half demon half mewman son of two royals, DOES mean tom can come off political and one previous episode which he made a cameo in even had Tom being profiled, with a shopkeep who shoed out another monster kid tried that on tom.. only to realize who he was dealing with and beg for mercy he probably only got because Tom’s trying to be a better person now. And I don’t think i’ts even malcious on tom’s part, tom isn’t the most empathetic guy. He’s nice, he’s sweet, and once he knows you he can be really thoughtful.. but as we’ve seen throughout this retrospective.. empathy is something he’s struggled with. He stalked star because he didn’t see HER side of him creeply and obessively persuing her until Marco got through to him. He missed the point of his therapy assignment, seeing it as a goal to get passed instead of hwat brian intended: for him to geninely make amends with someone he hurt. He didn’t get that while star didn’t, at the time, want to date him ignoring her would hurt her... though that on’es not on him. He’s not a bad guy at all but he’s not at all great at reading people or being selfless.

 He’s getting there, stump day showed him put stars needs before Marco’s and not out of any selfish dick measuring contest but because he knew what she wanted and what made her happy, but it’s hard to have empathy for a problem you don’t get how bad it is. To tom it’s just getting stopped once in a while and then having to glower or literally roast someone. To these monsters... it’s a life of being denied a decent standard of living, housing and being treated as a crminal and a beast just for existing. Tom has a fancy castle, loyal subjects, tons of money.. his privlage has insulated him from the real dangers of being the minority he is, of getting beaten up by the cops or arrested just for being a monster. And yes i’m using real world paralells.. but so does the end of this episode so shhh. It’s also a moral that hits home since as a white person, the last year has hit me HARD with just how much I didn’t know about the racial situation in america and how complacient i’d become. I wasn’t actively racist.. but like many americans I had the bad tendency to forget the horrible things that happpend on a daily basis to people of color in this country when it got out of the news. Privlage can blind you, and I cannot speak for if it does so for any real life minorties as i’m not touching a subject i’m not qulaified to talk on due to being super white with a ten foot pole, but I can speak for me that sometimes you just.. dont’ notice a problem unless i’ts happening to you. And while it has happened to tom it’s such a minor inconvience he probably just forgets about it and moves on. And these next two episodes with him, though we have some plot stuff to get too before we get back to Tom in feburary, are him getting his bubble popped and realizing just WHAT Star has been fighting against. And Star’s own privlage will be an issue later.. but we’llg et to that in it’s own time.  So while Tom skulks off Rich startles Marco to get him to do his kung fun hand pose “the sword hand dance” and everyone uses it to dance which Marco understandably objects to until kelly asks him to dance. Cue adorable ship tease.. again this is why i’m thrownig in the kelco episode in the next batch: because the trajectory of this relationship eeerily lines up with tom episodes. No sense avoiding the ONE other episode about the ship , especially if i’m going out of my way to cover the Meteora arc on top of it and my other 80 projects. And regular coverage. And comissions. And you get the idea it’s a lot but i’m happy to do it. 

Meanwhile we meet Slime, a friendly slime monster who introduces himself to penelope and her massive spider bite... and then drips a bit giving her the wrong impression. Thankfully.. this does not turn into the PG-Rated versoin of BLue from the heathers musical. 

No he just was offering to aloe up her spiderbite, and she’s all too happy to accept since her family never thought about it.. though as we see next season their not against it suprisingly. They are still dicks though. But not racist, though that’s a very low bar to clear and only gives them credit because mewni as a whole is pretty racist when it comes to Monsters. Point is I hate their parents but love these ship as the two share some ship tease and go downstairs.. only to get attacked.  Meanwhile, Marco’s getting a goblin dog while being watched by Henious.. who despite Gemini’s objections.. no longer cares about her cheeks as she grins sinesterly and has him play her music, some heavy metal. FORESHADOWING!

Back at the party, Star adreses her public and is all proud and blushy.. till Penelope stumbles in, covered in scars, telling the crowd something took Slime.. and both sides start blaming one another, especially since it turns out a LOT of the monsters have gone missing. So with everything she worked towards and had achieved crumbling, Star calms the crowd and says she’ll investigate. Outside Marco is getting a goblin dog with roy, and wondering why he has strawberry, who orders a strawberry.. who wants that? And then decides to get one out of curiosity which I would but i’m also fat and love strawberries so i’m not a beacon of good decisionmaking. 

So Star grabs him before he can roll that metaphorical dice and passes tom who tries to downplay her concerns and get her to go make out, thinking that’s what’s going on despite that.. making no sense, as a ton of them are missing and 6 is a bit much for polyamory.. I mean it works for some people 

But not everyone can be a majestic space grandma whose also a caterpillar. And their too young to orgy so that’s out too. Point is Tom is an idiot this time and Star RIGHTFULLY calls him out for belitting her cause, not really caring about it, or the other teens who are in danger right now from god knows what and tells him to either help or get out of the way. 

So while Tom licks his well earned wounds, Star and Marco journey into the depths and find a campsite with fresh dog eared pages indicating whoevers behind the abudictions is not only sapient, but still here... oh and it somehow gets worse as they find out WHOSE behind it. 

And a second question you might be having: Who dis. Well this is Mina Loveberry, solarian warrior, whose a legend in Mewni and was one of star’s childhood heroes who she found wondering around homeless and clearly not mentally well in the park on earth.. and then tried to conquer it, but the electoral process stopped her... I don’t know why but a half crazed maniac being defeated by due electoral process makes me feel all warm and fuzzy right now, on this specific day this is coming out late on. Hmmmm.. INTERESTING aint it? 

Point is Mina is a super powerful, super not in her right mind super warrior, who is naturlaly the kidnapper, as this episode also reveals she’s violently racist and assuemed something was up and whiel Star, who despite said cou still loves and respects her and gets she’s not well, tries to talk her down it increasingly becomes clear there’s no reasoning with her. And really with most racists.. there isn’t. Racisim isn’t something that’s rational and while some people are just indocrinated at a young age and CAN be turned around on it.. some are just so deeply up their own ass with hatred you can’t reason with them or save them. You just have to stop them. Via impeaching them, making sure they get called out and taken out of office.. or in this case using rainbows on them.  But we’ll have to wait a second as a bunch of debris falls on mina taking her out!

.. Only to reveal Henious and while Marco’s willing to fight her and her posse, Raasticore grabs star and henious hooks him up to the brainwash machine, probably planning to kill him with it while playing the music

But before she can kill or do worse to one of our heroes.. the door behind them opens up.. and reveals a child’s play room. 

And Henious.. gives up on the attack and enters, disturbing Gemini as she looks around in what’s easily one of the best scene sin the entire series: her slow walk, the way the animation follows her as it sinks in just what Metora might be.. and her picking up two dolls, the ones seen above.. her dolls to Gemini’s increasing discomfort. And while the animation is stellar and utterly moving as we slowly put the pieces together... it’s Walter’s delivery that REALLY STUNS.Gone is the harsh, unforgiving nightmarish woman we’ve known.. and instead is someone whose confused.. and remembering. Remembering WHY she has those cheek marks, remembering this was her room, her home.. and those were her parents. She remembers now.. and Mina rises to say of course she did “I knew you’d be back here one day meteora!” And as Gemini tries to refute this.. Meteora agrees with MIna, no longer henious at last freed form her deep and abusive brainwashing we’ll cover soon enough. And deeply confused. And as everyone else is deeply confused... Mina, not realizing this whole thing was covered up, again we’ll get to that soon too, spells it out for them and the audience in case you missed it. When Star asks how Eclipsa plays into any of this? “Don’t you ding dongs know anything? She’s her mamma!”  (Marco and Star stare in shock as it sinks in) Marco: “Wait HENIOUS is a princess?!”  Star: “she’s a butterfly”

Yeah quite obviously this is one of the biggest wham episodes in the entire series. In one moment we not only find out Henious is indeed a butterflfy as fans thought.. but Eclipsa’s daughter, half monster, and her entire existance raises questions of how much her family hid and if not WHO DID. I mean some of you alreayd know the answer but the rest of you can wait a week.. or a few mintues it’s hinted at soon enough. Point is Star has questions.. questions the violent racist whose pretty messed up in the head for a variety of the reasons and spent decades hunting her.. is not willing to hear out and instead prepares to smite her. While Star tries DESPERATLEY to talk her friend out of this it’s very clear Mina’s not going to listen... so Star rainbow fists her.. and prepares to face her former friend and inspiration for Meteora’s saftey and the answers she BADLY needs right now. Oh and just in case you thought “oh well the magical girl who sounds like amy sedaris can’t be that big a threat”... Yeah I didn’t mention broly for nothing. 

Mina bulked up. Meet Solarian Mina. And like the Legendary Super Sayian form from Dragon Ball.. i’ts a beserker of a form that turns the already obessive and insane Mina.. into an unstoppable rage fuled killing machine with horrifying levels of power who can beat down anyone nearbye. And unlike Broly, where he was just a one in a million fluke in both versions... Mina was PLANNED to be this. The solarian program was something Eclipsa’s mom came up with, a series of spells that slowly turn the target into a rampaging super soldier. It’s like if Nuke from marvel comics, a vietnam era version of captain america who dind’t turn out so good, was INTETIONAL; 

As you can see it removes fear.. but also the targets concisce, so Mina is incapable of empathy or being cure dof her racisim. Solaria turned her from a humble volunteer just hoping ot help and improve her station into the crazed monster star now faces.  And as the Broly comparision should make clear... yeah Star dosen’t do so good and neither does Marco. She shrugs off Star’s hits and while botht he kids and meteora escape, both just piss Mina off MORE, and put star in more danger as she’s thrown around like a ragdoll.  She then runs into tom who shows off his growht: While he was a dick up there.. unlike before where he assumed he was always the wronged party.. he realized he crossed a line and while he dosen’t know WHY he did, is still willing to apologize and presumibly talk about it. A bit clueless yes but it’s effort and his tone is sincre so it’s less “I’m apologizing for whatever I guess” bullshit and more “I genuinely don’t know wha ti did wrong please tell me so I can say sorry”.. which given how awkard tom is with people and how I pointed out his trouble relating to them over htis retrospective, is the more beliviable one.  Naturally while Star does appricate it she’s kinda busy.. and when Tom see’s what’s going on he leaps in with NO hesitation. And given how close the luictors once were and are again with the butterflies it’s doubtful he hadn’t heard of mina so he likely KNOWS what he’s going up against..a nd dosen’t care. His girlfriend needs his help and this person’s trying to hurt her. That’s all he needs to kick her ass. Or try.. unlike with the z warriors.. our heroes don’t win this one. Tom tries a really cool move i’m dubbing the onyx coffin, a black coffin with runes and chains.. that does nothing to her. She breaks out and our heroes flee and Mina causes a massive ruckuss above, and the only reasons our heros don’t die.. is that the knights and Rhombulus of the high comission arrive.  And since the high comission are going to be vastly important a refresher: The high comission were created by glossaryck, the little man who lives in stars book who used to be voiced by an asshole and next season is voiced by keith motherfucking david, to police the multiverse and it’s various issues. The four we know are Lekmet: a goat man who died last season and controlled entropy and could heal at the cost of his own life hence the death, Hekapoo, a close assiocate of marcos who controls the scissors beings use to cross dimensions and can do so herslef effortlessly, Omnitraxus Prime, a powerful and giant antler skulled being who watches space time and timelines and is voiced by Karl Weathers so...

And Rhombulus, a diamond headed he-man reject with snakes for hands becaue his dad is a well documented dickhead.. no really that’s the entire explination i the book of spells: Glossaryck turned his hands to snake to teach him the lesson i’ts hard to get through life with snake hands. He’s a gung ho guy who imprisons the wrost of the worst criminals thus his presence here as Mina clearly had a falling out with the comission and thus flees.  So while Star and Tom are given blankets afterwords and some cocoa, Tom comforts her and admits if nothing else.. he gets it now, having been finally faced with the type of horrible shit monsters have had to deal with in the past and sees why his girlfriend tried hard to help it. But Star.. realizes she can’t fix this that easy. That she dosen’t know enough and clearly ther’es even more than she ever could’ve thought possible she has ot know if she’s going to fix this.. and that it’s not an EASY problem to fix. You really CAN’T fix racisim you can just make society better, but you’ll never be rid of people like Mina. Though this arc will.. yeah in one of the more baffling decisions Mina is given this huge reindrocution, with Amy Sedaris showing that while a very funny lady and a very talented actress as bojack had previously shown off for both.. she can be FUCKING TERRIFYING. But nope, she’s just..g one outside of a cameo, gets beatne off screen and dosen’t become big bad for a season. And I get it, the metora arc needed room.. but you had a WHOLE EXTRA EPISODE to have her defeat mina. Inastead you used it for Marco Jr which amounted to almost nothing and could’ve been saved for season 4 wher eit probably woudln’t of been terrible. I”ll get to that one some day. Point is it’s bad storytelling. 

So yeah Star’s feeling lost, her family history is in flux, she got beaten badly, not horribly injrued but still lost handily, her party ruined and  she was hit with the realization her plans were overly idealistic. Well meaning sure but a party was never going to cure this. Oh and Rhombluus naturally isn’t coming clean about why the temple is off limits or what’s going on here so that dosen’t help.  And somehow.. IT STILL GETS WORSE. The Wizard Cops try to take the monsters in , profling them and not having done so and star thankfully talks them out of it but the monster kids turn down any afterparty or anything. They get she means well tbut hte moment’s over. And their not even excesivley sad.. their just.. used to the police treating them like this. Like less than human, like automatic suspects when THEY were the victims. IT’s nothing new... and god does this feel relevant as hell.

And this i where I meant Star’s privlage bites her: While not as bad as tom, it took some very harsh reality for her to see that solving racisim.. is not only nigh imposisble but not that easy. To her it was easy as a party and friendship and what’s worked before in her fairly shelted world. Advetnures or not she’s still a princess whose never experinced prejudice. In both worlds she’s in the majority. It’s probably why Marco conttoned on to monster racism in seconds during “Menipendence Day’ when Star hadn’t her whole life: to Marco, whose latix and thus dealing with all kinds of racist shit his whole life, it was easier to pick it up. He’s firmly part of his culture.. and thus probably firmly aware of the racism he faces. Star is so insulated she just dosen’t get it till it nearly beat her to death. So yeah Star’s at her lowest point, having failed to make things better, the answer to her questions being lost and not sure what’s real. Metora on the other hand as they dodge the cops.. has ascended. As Gemini calls her henious once last time.. she says that’s not her name. 

“My name is meteora”

SHe’s been dreaming the wrong dream.. and it’s long past time she woke up. 

Final Thoughts;  Monster Bash.. is one of the best episodes in the series. Unlike a lot of Seasons 3 and 4 it dosen’t suffer from lack of proper payoff, as the next few episodes deal with how the fuck any of this is happening and why the fuck any of it happened. Mina’s absence nonwithstanding.. this is one of the series best and most gripping arcs. And the swerve is great: you think i’ts Henious doing the kindappings, only for her not to be the threat again just yet. And for her to be something far more. It’s just masterful, starting iwth fun hyjinks and ending in one of the best nad most nightmarish fights in the series if not the best, watching as our heroes slowly but surely LOOSE.. and THEN it gets worse. Out and out a must watch for the series and a sad sign of what it COULD’VE been had it moved past it’s worst insitncts next season and become what i should’ve been.  Next week: We take a tom break as Eclipsa nad Mon investigate all of this and we get the SECOND biggest wham episode in the series. 

Until the next rainbow, be excellent to each other.

#star vs the forces of evil #star vs #star butterfly #marco diaz #tom lucitor #startom #rich pidgeon #kelly #lilica ponyhead #meteora butterfly #gemini #mina loveberry #slime #penelope spiderbite

[oubliette-od]

Okay...I'm not one to usually cause confrontation but I've had enough. I've seen a lot of negativity here on tumblr and Twitter, a lot of people coming out of the woodwork to give their opinion on something they know very little or nothing about. All these "hot takes" on how queer baity this is or how this is the fastest bury your gays or "oh so they sent him straight to hell for being gay lol typical cw, all you destiel shippers are crazy and are still waiting stupid" "f this show and the horse it rode in on, you people are stupid for feeling joy over this"....like get over yourselves. I get it, the show isnt perfect and kinda sucks sometimes. I completely agree on that. But you treat it like it's the worst show ever and it's really not. It's just easy to pick on because its popular and everyone knows it so to make yourselves feel better you trash on a show that people still get joy from. I was so excited last night until I checked the tags and Twitter and saw so many people being so mean and negative to those of us who were excited and happy this happened.

Like okay so 1. No they didnt kill Cas and send him to ultimate hell for being gay. F off. Hes still alive, he's just trapped in the empty forever (which yeah sounds not great but hes not dead and I know they will do something about this before the show ends.) 2. Dean loves Cas. Anybody who watches the show and isnt a cynical douche can see how much Dean cares for /loves cas. Heck he was supposed to say I love you to him back in season 8 but Jensen had them change it because he thought it wasnt the right time (which I agree with him but kind of wish they left it anyway). People say his reaction was flat but did you watch the scene? All the micro-expressions that swallow, the head tilt the furrowed brows. Dean is already in a bad head space, he was freaking out trying to find a way to save them. Then Cas drops the bomb of his empty deal, bookended by his confession. The poor man didn't have a second to breathe let alone process what was happening. From his reaction on the floor, sobbing, he finally understood what happened and was completely devastated in losing cas again, especially after realizing that Cas does love him back. Just give him time, I dont think he will disappoint in the coming episodes. He wont let this slide, hes going to save Cas and tell him he loves him back. I would be more skeptical if like it was just Cas and a few randos that were gone but its everyone so I believe they are going to bring everyone back, including Cas, Charlie, her girlfriend and Eileen. 3. Its not queerbaiting until the end of the show, and I can't believe they would just leave it like this. I will eat my words if it does happen but you can't tell me with all the evidence shown in previous episodes that Dean is not in love with Cas too. It just doesn't make sense if he isnt. Am I disappointed they waited till now to do it? Sure but I'm still happy they did.

Cas' confession is just the first piece of the puzzle. We still have three hours-ish of show left and a lot can happen within that time. I for one am still hopeful and look forward to where this goes. Yes I get and understand why people are upset and crap on the show. It has some definite issues which most stem from bucklemming being awful writers who unfortunately have written the next episode. Going by the promo, I'm very worried they will screw with the tone and Dean especially. But nothing can erase or take away the fact that Cas confessed to Dean, saved his life once again, left his handprint on THAT shoulder and left Dean a broken man once again. I have faith in the actors and the writers (besides bucklemming I dont trust them at all) when they say they are happy and that the ending is what they wanted to see so I am willing to just wait it out and see how it goes. I never thought we would ever get in show confirmation of destiel but here we are with half of it. And you cant tell me that dean wasnt trying to tell Cas his feelings. He says "Cas, I-" before Cas says goodbye and pushes him away so I feel confident he wanted to tell him something before disappearing forever. The guilt and devastation he must be feeling now, i can only imagine and i for one am very excited to see this play out.

In conclusion, don't spread your negativity and hot takes on something you know nothing or little about. I have seen so many posts from people like "I don't watch the show/never heard of spn/haven't watched in years" going off of what posts they may of seen without much context and I just want to say that yes, you are entitled to your opinions but maybe don't form your opinions on little information that may not be correct or on something you know little about. Like, when you are attacking or jeering at people for being happy or excited about this, maybe you need to step back or at least tag your posts accordingly so they stay out of the main tag.

And no, this is not up for debate and I will not answer any asks about this. You can send all your hate and "you're so delusional" asks to me if you want but it's not going to change my mind. Destiel is canon, confirmed by both Misha and Berens, and that's all I need to know that its true. I am going to stay happy about this and I am able to criticize this show while still enjoying it and that's what I'm going to do through the finale. As the Ghostfacers said, Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day. Dean will come through and save his angel.

#spn #spn spoilers #spn speculation #the oubliette has spoken #im so done with people #just let me have this #let me be happy for once #this year sucks enough

[feitanswife]

Sorry for the fucking essay but no actually I’m not

So I saw a buzzfeed story article on snap and it was from a hashtag on twitter that was trending a few days back, #igotwokewhen or something to that effect.

And it reminded me of something that would be WAY too long of a story for twitter.

Well, several somethings. Three to be exact. This was like a two year process that only sort of included tumblr.

So it started in my sophomore year of high school (10th grade, I was... turning 16 that coming March) and I was in Honors 10th Grade English with the rest of the tryhards.

(Honors didn’t really mean anything in the grand scheme of things, the classes were relatively similar to core, it was basically a box you checked during class selection to say “I want to be in a class with people who give a shit”)

And I was in a corner with two other kids: the one I’ll call Cake Face, and her best friend, Cutie. (Cause they were cute. Like adorable non-threatening videogame-nerd-who-even-I-could-drop-kick-if-they-tried-anything cute, which was very much my “type” in high school as I was in complete and utter denial about my lack of sexual attraction and only let myself grow close to people I could totally take in a fight to ease my anxiety about being touched.)

Cake Face was a terrifying girl who very Clearly had a tumblr.

This was 2014-2015. She Very Clearly Had A Tumblr.™️ like it was Scary.

She sat behind me and she terrified me. I’d known her from 7th grade onwards and until that point I knew 3 things about her: she wore WAY too much makeup, she was a try hard at school, and she hated pretty much everyone.

Except Cutie, who she would kill and die for.

Cutie, whose real name I can’t even remember now, was the first out trans peer I remember having. (I say “out” because two of my best friends who is known for much longer came out later, but at the time to my knowledge Cutie was the only one so I count them as first cause it was my first interaction under the pretense)

Cutie was also the first non-binary person I knew. That is without condition, to my knowledge (I haven’t kept track of many people from high school) as the next notable encounter was well into college.

So now you had me, vaguely crushing on Cutie whose Overbearingly Agressively Supportive best friend sat right behind me.

Needless to say that crush went nowhere, we hardly talked cause I was too afraid of Cake Face to even start up a coversation for fear I’d say something wrong and get my head ripped off. She was openly confrontational with our teacher and the rest of the class and I just kept my head down and said nothing.

Come to think of it, that’s probably what Cutie was doing too. I certainly wouldn’t want my best friend fighting people on my behalf all day. Talk about embarrassing.

But the idea had been put in my head and since I was about ankle deep in Fandom Tumblr that that point (mostly popular anime with some J-fashion on the side) I decided to dip my toes in further.

And while I was still wrapping my head around the vague idea of asexuality and oh no what does this mean for the boyfriend I got last spring my near best friend in the world cane out as a trans guy on like, day one of our AP language and composition class.

Just to me and our mutual friend but like, it happened. The name he ended up choosing could be shortened to a rather gener neutral nickname so he ended up going by that at large, but the actual conversation only happened with us.

(To be fair, his deadname when combined with his middle name was a weed based pun so no one was surprised he changed it. it was also spelled weirdly.)

And that was the first time I’d ever like, fully integrated into the... entire culture of interacting??? I guess??? Like learning the lingo, learning the flags, figuring out what a binder was (and trying to talk him out of wearing it to gym class, irresponsible little shit!) and I quickly became very protective of him.

I mean I was protective before cause he had other problems like anxiety worse than mine and we all know that when a group of friends all have anxiety that whoever’s is currently least active gets to pretend they’re fine and deal with shit. But this was a whole other layer. It honestly made me a little paranoid cause people... people show their true colors at times like these.

Like that second friend he told.

“Friend”

I ended up writing her into a novel just to hit her character with a truck over one (1) conversation.

Cause when my friend was around she was a sweet angel.

But when he wasn’t she was rude as shit and misgendered him constantly. Also she was really jealous of me being better at essay writing than her and like well maybe if you focused more effort into class and less into talking shit about your supposed best friend then??? Maybe you’d know how to write???

And I worked my ass off on a group poster project and she threw it out and redid the whole thing herself cause she didn’t like mine and it’s been like four years and I have never forgiven her for that I had like three panic attacks for that poster and you threw it away?

I’m not even gonna censor her name Fuck You Jillian you entitled piece of shit!

And around that time I also met the most important person of my life.

She’s a year younger than me and three times as smart, she’s still my best friend to this day and all of our friends unironically call her mom.

And she was the first person I came out to as ace.

(Mostly because she did first and the only response I could think of was “me too!” We were eating lunch. I think I was sitting on the floor. She was on a bench. I was looking up at her. Her hair was bright fire engine red and down to her butt and she was in full gothwear.)

It was because of her that I eventually made a new tumblr account (first under lily-of-the-rain, then raininglillies, then Feitanswife which I have no interest in changing cause I can’t fathom anyone else having this url) and sort of dove deep into all of this cause I finally felt like I could.

Like she was the full permission to exist in this space! She ran our high schools GSA and now is Vice President of our college’s Queer and Allues club (which I only joined cause she dragged me)

and all of that while being ace, which I was ultimately horrifically ashamed of until I met her.

Not because I thought it was wrong to be ace, I just thought it made me less important. Just in general. I was less important in the straight world and less important among the lgbtq+ community. No one was gonna make a fuss over me if I just sat down and shut up, but I wasn’t going to be missed if I disappeared either.

I was just what I’d always been, a background character. Meant to be seen and not heard. Don’t make a fuss just sit and be quiet and be glad we saved you a chair at all.

But she wasn’t. She walked in and it didn’t matter if it was a night out or 7 am on a Tuesday she was dressed to the nines, with her nearly neon red hair and a sort of “DONT fuck with me” energy that let her just mow down anyone who wanted to start shit, with her or anyone else.

And people respected her not in spite of who she was but because of it

And that was the final flip of the switch I needed. First it was the awareness, then the caring personal connection, and then there was “you have the right and the duty to flip that fucking switch. It is yours.

Not because someone else told you to or because it affects people you care about, but because it affect you

[h0mestuck-kin]

for mobile users

frequently asked questions 

are requests open?

if the inbox is open, you can freely request.

what can we request?

aesthetics, stimboards, pendulum questions, talksprite/ministrife edits, self care stuff, canon calls, pride icons and the ask is also open for random questions, related to kin or not!

can i have a promo?

as long as its homestuck kin/hiveswap kin related, yes!

is x considered homestuck kin?

if your kin is a character from any mspaint comics (homestuck, problem sleuth, etc) or from hiveswap, i’ll consider them hskin. this also includes swaps and all aus.

who runs this blog?

right now me (mod ara) and mod karkat

rules

first of all, do not be rude in the asks or replies! hate and/or drama arent welcome in this blog! discourse related asks will be ignored.

here there will be doubles, different canons/timelines, rare ships and similar stuff and that’s okay but there will not be anything related to abuse of all kinds, pedophilia or incest treated as a positive or good thing, so request involving this will be ignored.

there won’t be nsfw content here since even though i’m 18 since i’m pretty sure most people who request stuff are not. so don’t even bother sending asks with nsfw content.

don’t rush us about your request! we have things to do besides tumblr, be patient your request will be done! asks about having x request in the inbox are okay though because i know tumblr doesn’t always work okay!

don’t be scared to ask us to tag anything! even if it’s an “obscure” trigger or whatever, you don’t need to explain it or anything! current tagged triggers are: photos or gifs of food (food), any requests including bloodswaps or kidswaps (bloodswap - kidswap), photos or gifs with fake or real blood or wounds (blood), requests mentioning sexual abuse or r*pe (non-con) photos or gifs of needles (needles) and photos or gifs including irregular holes (tripophobia)

understand that i mostly use the tumblr app, so that might cause some problems!

if you have any questions after reading this, feel free to send an ask about it!

request guidelines

aesthetics

give as much detail as you want, but if it’s about a non canon character details are more necessary! 

stimboards

just make sure to mention if you don’t want something (like a board without sand cutting, no visible hands or any specific colors)

pendulum questions

be sure to ask questions that can be answered with yes or no! also i dont mind asking my pendulum once or twice but if you send asks like am i kin with any of the trolls? if yes wich one? that wont be answered, so try to be as especific as you can!

ministrife/talksprite edit

be as specific as possible!! add hair color, lenght, style, skin color, eye color, clothes, scars, markings, anything you can tell me!!

selfcare

mention if you want something in or out of it (like, please avoid candles or i really like stuffed animals)

canon calls

put characters you’d like to find, memories and how to contact you. also warnings you see necessary (like, no doubles or if you’re +18)

pride icons

say a character and your sexual orientation and/or gender identity

about the mod

i’m mod ara and use he/him!! i’m 18 years old, spanish and i identify as queer. i’m kin with aradia megido (5 known timelines with memories, i might make a post about it but feel free to ask here or in @spokyscaryrustblood thats my kin blog). my sympath/copinglinks kins are roxy lalonde, damara megido and nepeta leijon. i’m mentally ill, my special interests are animals, pokemon and homestuck. i’m studying arts rn. 

#faq #not a request

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Y'all getting tortured too..I lost it. I couldn't handle it

I got germ x on a cotton round and started washing my face.

I got more body parts to literally scrub

After my grandpa died of cancer -- well. Denise killed him but they said it was the cancer...

I took a shower and scrubbed my body every day. I got a new toothbrush weekly.

I used a scouring pad from the kitchen and I didn't ever turn the cold water knob but just a tiny stream.

The water was all the way on full blast hot.

I scoured my skin off.

My Uncle Dad took me to the hospital when he finally came home from the ship. It finally docked.

Doctor asked had I burned myself. "No I just took shower and it just didn't feel clean.. It never feels clean"

"How hot is the shower?"

"Oh will the way hot. I turn the cold on slightly about midway to do the final rinse"

"How long do you shower for and how many times do you perform a "rinse"?"

"Well the shower stays on... I'd say 3 - 4 times when it's all the way hot then at least twice, so about 6.. Sometimes 10.. 12... 45 one day"

I heard my uncle dad sob from the corner. I looked st him perplexed. Cause I was doing right. I was keeping the germs off me.

"I just gotta stay clean dad" as he raised his head he sucked in air through his nose. And i saw a man in misery and guilt

"I'm so sorry sorry i thought you could handle the cancer. I thought you'd be okay and i just had ti fo to work but she...."

"I can handle the cancer dad. I just gotta stay clean and keep the germs off of me"

"What kind of products do you use. SOS pads... Denise doesn't buy a lot of Shampoo so i try to keep,that for my hair... So I'll use dish soap or sometimes even laundry. Bleach is good but she doesn't buy that one slot either. I don't like the amoniea. The smell bothers me but I had to use it 3 or 4 times because I didn't have anything else but that was when i found the SOS pads under the sink. Lo and behold they have soap in them already. So, i quiet using extra except when i wash my face with them. Soften the skin up a little bit more than so I don't get wrinkles"

I looked dead into his eyes and told something I didn't tell any other adult about what i did. I told my friends... But not in a way that it was me. "You know someone i heard of was...." Not I did this. But someone did.

My dad according to my DNA4U although there's,a story about that...

He was in the corner crying the whole time I was talking. "No she needs help. I need help for her."

The doctor said they had received a phone call he thought it was from the FBI. But he looked at his notepad and said "Nope the CIA."

"I just have to keep the germs off me tell them that. They need to, too"

"I'm calling them Billy don't you worry"

"Yeah" he said into the phone "i got a situation here. I'm gonna need you to come in and take her. ... Mental ward"

Son of a bitch. I attacked him. I wasn't crazy. I needed to be germ free.

I grabbed the phone "WHAT I NEED IS TO BE CLEAN AND YOU DO TOO GODDAM THE WHOLE WORLD"

And i beat that poor doctor in the head and back wirh that phone until it fell apart and nothing was left.

"And that's how I kill germs" I told his dead body.

Mental institution?!?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!? THE GERM INFESTATIONS I WOULD DIE IMMEDIATELY JUST BREATHING THE AIR!!! NO WAY IN HELL!!! GOD FUCKING NO!!!

My dad just sat there as i beat the doctor to death m his eyes and jaw open as wide as can be.

"You understand right? I'm not here to hurt you but This place it's so dirty but i came here with you. Because i trust you to keep me safe. But he wouldn't. Not. The dirtiest place in the world he would send me to and i just can't have that. I'll push the panic button to get you some help that you need"

It was right by the door. So these big ass mother fucking dudes came me in started grabbing me to hold me down and strap me to the bed. Big mother fuckers HUGE. Body builders and shit. "ARE YOU GERM FREE!! DONT GET A HOLD OF ME!! LET ME GO. GODDAMINIT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I killed all 3. "Now i gotta wash my hands and arms. They fucking touched my face and every thing. Stuck thier fingers in my mouth and all. I need to,start with bleach. Can you get me some?"

My dad was in shock.

"Maybe later. I'll ask you again when your nervous system calms down" I washed my face and elbows.

It was 1992 Christmas was a few weeks away. My lie age I was 12. My real age I was only 8.

Finally the CIA came in "are you here to help or force me to wash my hands again?"

He put his arms up as he walked by me and sat next to my dad "well i know Gaberiel and Calvin can help. Gaberial goes to school with her and he said she looks alright but seems to be in a trance like state most of the time. But they will know what to do. Do not worry. Sabrina you cannot keep killing doctors like that"

"I'm not going!! The backwoods motel where they put the strange and i tell you none of them know how to,wash their hands!!"

"You look like a witch!!"

"At least im a clean one fuck y'all shit"

This whole team of huge CIA dudes... They all washed their hands no less than 3 minutes up their elbows for an additional two while I watched.

This big one said "she's not alright you know that. I never washed my hands this much in my life"

I warned him i would kill him if he didn't get off the team "oh no it's refreshing I don't have a problem. My face too here i come"

When he lifted his face he saw mine. "There's nothing wrong with me sir. This world is unclean"

"That's that transelike state. Her voice gets hollow and the carries. Did she kill the others like that Bill?"

"No I didn't. He made me upset while i waited for th3 help I supposed to be needing. Like no one knows,l they can poison me any second"

I knew but i didn't know Denise injected medicine into my grandpa's vein.

I COULDN'T handle this guy at the sink. He wanted to teach me like he could do it better. Like i had something wrong with me. And he didnt like it"

"Out. Just get the fuck out of here. I'll give you a chance to live."

I ended up killing the whole line of people but this one little yellow Asian man.

He was surrounded by dead bodies. 5. They took the 3 guard nurses and the doctor out already.

"Do i wash my hands now? Is it my turn?"

"SIR!!" i said pissed off. I looked around me. My poor dad "well what do you think about your surroundings?"

"You look good. Able to kill real easily. Looks like I need some more training. But I'm just here to wash my hands as i was told to"

He told me the times he needed to wash.

"Well no one else is in line so I suppose that yes it's your turn now"

I laid down on the little check up table bed and fell to sleep. I was exhausted. Killed 9 people. Because they were aliens. And i would let someone live. 3 people in total. Out of 12..

It could be a good day after all, as long as i didn't go to Baywood Inn Acres.. I'd been there before. I escaped and let all the mental patients out. Well maybe if i went I could do that again I thought as I drifted off to sleep. I could still do it. I'd killed 9 today in just seconds.. I could let the rest escape.

Snoop put me on time restrictions. I bit him. I kicked him. I punched him in the stomach. He would walk in with a shield from SWAT to tell me to stop washing at the sink.

It was all scuffed up and I had to clean it. Germs get in them scratches and cracks...

Before he knew it it was all soaped up and If he exposed, his face he would get soaped too. Bar of soap.

Oh boy he was pissed off at me. "You need to kill the right people!!" Him and Alex Laughlin both said

"Then let me use the soap for as long as I want to"

I was a horrror show star. Like a doll. Like poltergeist. There's that doll that turns it's head all creepy. My eyes be glassy I walked around like I was dead.

I was. I was so dead inside. I KNEW my grandpa would die for no fucking reason. I knew and there wss nothing I could do to save that Old man!!!!

And i KNEW i was going get cancer, too!!!

Just wash it all off. Wash it down the drain.,that is I what i would say.

This video to some. But I used to do that.

2 years later I did get cancer in my throat just like I knew I would. I wrote about it.

So I handle death a lot better. Losing one. Germs.

If I know a person doesn't wash their hands and their hands are warm. I freak the fuck out.

"Don't fucking touch me" and I get filled with violent rage.

Some people think it's cool to make fun of me. A violent assassin. To this date with my bare hands no magic included in the last 35 years I've killed 22,489,601,427 people.

So y'all need to learn to wash your mother fucking hands. 35 seconds i recommend.

CDC says it's good in 20... Don't underestimate the power of germs. Scrub faster and go for long term use of that soap you just squirted on you. Go up to the elbows!

Eventually I got okay. To be okay I had to kill people. 862 thousand.

All aliens in stolen bodies. Then i was okay again.

But until then i would sleep walk to the sink wash,me up then hit the streets in a trance.

So they got a kid to live with me... Anton. From Queer Eye... Him...

"No what are you gonna do? He's got germs on him and he's our only kid!" Alex would bark at me.

"Then you kill him" i would tell him. He never did.

So i posted a video earlier. Poor child. "Wash your hands" "wash your hands!" In the video I shared that he shared. Poor child, "Now you gotta wash both hands although only one is dirty. The other might get jealous. Up to your elbows if you want to but definitely up to your wrists"

He played in the dirt a lot. If he didn't Snoop would pour it on him. "Now what are you gonna do?!?"

I smelled him make sure the cat didn't piss on it

Man Snoop did a hard fight. "Its fucking dirt snoop shut the fuck up!!:

I let that boy teach me about dirt. Is it clean? Does it feel fresh? Or smell bad?"

I let him choose whether to wash or not.

Somethings he HAD to wash after touching "raw meat" we had a list of things that could harm us if it was left on our hands.

I had to wash after uncooked hot dogs. Had to. Kid goddam creeped me out because he didn't

I'd just look at him like he was a leeper to give me leprosy from an uncooked hot dog.

"CHILL OUT!!!"

"Uh anuh he touched a raw hot dog and he didn't wash. Uncooked meat!! Its on there check the goddam list in a hurry" he was like a monster under my bed.

"It says raw meats baby."

"Uncooked is raw"

That little boy. Sweet precious angel he is. He said "i didn't agree because i wanted to go out side and play but now I see i take the hot dog containments into the dirt if I don't wash. So i would like to wash please"

I earned a kiss from Alex who was going by Gaberiel. At the time.

It shocked me with surprise. I did something right for the first time in weeks i wasn't yelled at by an adult. I put my head down on the arm of the chair and wept and wailed and cried.

I spent so much time fighting with who was supposed to be my friends. That it made me calm and feel normal. Ever since that day my grandpa died. I had so much built in my chest like a wall. Filled my body so.

Snoop finally understood under all that muscle mass and need to assassinate... I was still there.

"Lets go get some ice cream it's on the list for,being,human and you get sprinkles for crying."

"Lets go ma then I wanna play in the dirt.

I wasn't sure i could leave the house. I felt really wobbly... To go outside and not kill... It was dangerous. I tried to go back in like 14 times. But Alex kept stopping me. Or snoop or the baby Antony.

"Took us 15 minutes to go get us a dam treat,jist from the door to the car. When we go killing shes flying down the steps and first one to the car. Ain't no one gonna know what's wrong with her! Ain't no one!"

"I do! You just need to wash your hands! Wash Your hands!!" I had a sweet little boy next to me... I looked out the window of that white Cadillac and I sure did hope i could figure out how to,keep the world safe. They played and teased and made,him laugh.,all every one,in the car laughing with joy.

I just wanted to open the car door, jump out and die.

Later I finally told. Some movie reminded me of my grandpa... The only one I ever had. The one that allowed me to kill Denise. A prison guard.

"He died from something out side of him. Not inside out side. I can't handle it. It went down his arm.. Pink. It was something pink"

Snoop on his knees. "What was it poision?"

"Watch. Into here down this way to his pinkie then back up and then down around his heart and through his legs and up the other side and to his brain then he could smell the medicine cold cough syrup. And she kept doing it until the full bottle was,in,his body. It didn't work tho. The next day and the next. 3 more,days than,that. Then he was,dead. 2 bottles each day. Of cold medicine to kill tiny germs"

Alex's face,was,in terrified horror. Snoop still as a statue.

"Where do they live at?" Asked snoop.

"Texas. Redway lane"

"That is where you live at".

"That is what i am telling you. And i was in Texas and i didn't go to Arizona"

Snoop began to throw up in his hand and,ran,from the room.

Alex and Anthony looked at me all "why did you have to tell the truth?!"

"I'm trying to watch the movie here!!" Said Anthony "and tomorrow I wanna play in dirt"

"That's ok baby That's what you can do with Uncle Snoop. We'll be quiet now so you can watch the movie."

If you don't get germs on you. You don't get sick. Then you don't get murdered.

Stay Clean.

Corona. I'm telling you. It ain't no different.

Except I was told something worse than eating Vicks Vapo Rub would happen to me from Denise.

I had to kill 981,602,375 people like Denise until I felt satisfied the world was safer.

Until I could breathe again.

I felt my grandpa die. I was with him. I felt his whole body. When his left lung collapsed...

And he was begging "no Denise don't do it. It won't make me better. No Denise I don't want none. Dont put it in my IV. I don't have no cough or cold. I have cancer and I'm going to beat it"

And that Old man died. And I tried so hard. To keep his body alive. Just stay with him.

And his body was so riddled with cancer. He couldn't take being filled with the thick cough syrup.

After a million kills. Grandpa said I could stop the world would get better then. "If I do two more grandpa then it would get allot better"

We killed 6 million predators. By hand. We picked them from prisons.

Death Row and life sentences. They could die early if they wanted. They understood they would die. They signed contracts. And we filled them in gas chambers. And filled the air with a non toxic cough syrup smelling gas that made them relax. Laughing gas. Then we used rat poision gas. Until they died. We had some other gases too. I didnt care.

We did right by our promise and they choked end coughed choked on a white foam frothing from,their mouths. And,died.. And we watched them through a little window with gas masks on our faces.

"You know you could used a little more nitrous" would say Alex

"Only half choke to death. Most of them lay down peacefully to die."

Oddly white men were more often to fight Than the black man.

"Either the black men are innocent or they know,what to do in a poison situation"

One man. Black. Should been,dead. But he was crawling around checking on,the others. In pain he was.

I ran,from the control booth. Dodging people trying to stop me. I swung open the door against policy. Grabbed him up under his shoulders "why did you sign the paper if you didn't have any thing to do with the crime?$?!" I yelled through my gas mask

"All these are all dead i want to,know why I'm not!!: he was crying he was scared. "I didn't sign the paper because i wanted the hell out. I knew if i died I would go to Heaven!: he was sobbing. In a gas chamber. Filled with poison.

Alex held up a gas mask in,the Window I pointed my head towards my direction.

And I held the black man while he was on his knees in a room full of gas. Alex put the gas mask to protect from,gas on his face.

"Lets go you got to get out. You only have half a,mask"

"I can't"

"You got to,get out now"

He chose his fate. No one else. He would tell me when he was ready to live and i would hold him on his knees until he did. I just stared into Alex's eyes. While he said over and over "you got to, get out" like in case i forgot.

"I wanna get out! Can you help me??" I reached down and grabbed him by his waist. Hoisted him up to my hip and carried him out like a toddler. A nice grown man.

This poor man was a mess.

No one mentioned i was covered in cyanide. For 3 hours until when my skin began to itch "you need,to shower"

"When you finally get covered in killer germs you don't care Because you found someone more important, more desperate. Someone more in a bad situation.,then you don't even notice"

"You trained me not to. Could I at least get an SOS pads for my bath?"

Every one wore a gas mask around me. Even the kid. For three days Anthony did.

"Snoop said you can't go in his car covered in,gas,like,that so we got a rental car"

"You gonna drive in that gas mask?"

"Yeah. Sounds fun. We have to roll down the Windows for you to breathe. I know downtown LA but... And also we got you w hotel. You are covered in cyanide!! No on wants you home. But i do"

I think... It was the first time in my life any one ever gave me a bath while wearing a gas mask.

We had to,change,3 hotel rooms. So i wouldn't pollute the place up.

"See? You yelled at me and you're all jist as bad,and,won't even let,me,see my kid"

"Yeah well you trained us to be extra careful. More cautious than sorry"

Gaberiel. Alex Laughlin slept in bed next to me. In a gas,mask.

Sometimes I couldn't sleep. Thinkin about that man and my grandpa.

And I'd look down at the man next,to me. Pased out. Looking like an innocent kid himself.

I adored him. I felt so much love that a person would be in,danger for me. I shook his gas,mask gently

"What you woke me up what do you want? It was on purpose, too"

"Do you think that man knowed i cared? That I might love someone other than myself?"

"We treat you as though you are selfish because you sre using self harm and you don't understand it. No one is supposed to gargle with bleach? What If you swallowed it?"

"It burns my nostrils any way"

"That's not the point but baby doll. You could kill yourself and we wouldn't have you no more. That is,the point.,that is why we called you selfish. Your addiction to cleanliness could,kill you snd no one,wants that to happen. But look what you do. Go,in a gas,chamber FULL of gas with only a half mask on. You're lucky you don't go blind. But look st it this way. We pushed too hard and in the wrong way and you did drink bleach on purpose in desperation to be clean. It was undiluted, too. I know. I watched you. And you Didjt say anything. Just smiled and said "i feel" i wanted to,slap you then for not listening. But when you pushed me back so you could leave,tje room through the door i was blocking. You didnt act like nothing happened. You felt like nothing happened. And I realized we were doing something wrong then two,weeks later you tell us why it was so,important to be kept clean and germs off of you. And i wanted to die for the way snoop and I had been mistreating you. And that is why I started the gas chambers of criminals to honor Yoir grandpa for working at the prison to keep,them in line. End,it for your grandpa and avenge his death with revenge. It would be what healed you both. And next time call the police when someone is being poisoned."

"She did it when i,was asleep. I would fall asleep all kinds of times of days to be with him. I promised when i was a young kid that i wouldn't let him die alone. Not by her. And when i woke up I was too groggy to remember what was going on. I thought it was a dream a bad one i hoped it wasn't real but it was and i can't get over this feeling this fear.. That had me at constant companion"

"What does that mean my love?"

"Evil. My grandpa said"

So y'all in,this world of 2020

Keep,calm.

It is,gonna be okay.

[scadaz]

Harry Potter for the changes post

ONLY 5??? okay nah i got this

okay i dont actually got this this is too long so im putting it under a cut

1) first and foremost make the inexplicit explicit. make dumbledore explicitly gay. make hermione explicitly black. at the very least the things that she has confirmed or alluded to in the aftermath of releasing the books and at the most like…everything. maybe explore the way that race plays into the worldbuilding of the wizarding world rather than just make an allegory for it. explore how harry being biracial places him in the world and how the different sides of his life (dursleys vs the wizards) view him and his heritage. put more young queer romances in there. maybe the reason ron is so jealous isn’t just because he likes hermione but ALSO because he ALSO likes krum and is really confused about his feelings?? replace the whole lavender romance with a dude and let lavender and parvati run off together like they were always meant to. let trans kids exist in hogwarts!!! you know what would have made ginny’s whole “arc” a lot more bearable?? if she’d been a trans girl learning to overcome her shyness and gain confidence in herself as she puts herself out there into the hogwarts-sphere. just generally opening up the worldbuilding and characters to more accurately reflect the world in comparison to well...what it was......also maybe like don’t rely on real world stereotypes l i k e..........

2) make the characters who are supposed to be likable actually likable. like....i know the marauders have a huge fanbase and everyone loves them but there isn’t really much to love in the canon??? imho. they’re super huge dicks when they were younger and we hardly get to see any transition from them learning how to be better people or having regret in the way that they acted before. we’re only supposed to believe it because they’re good to each other (ie learning how to be animagi to support their bud lupin) and we’re just told they’re good when they’re older and that’s the end of that. so how i would change it is including more scenes of james, sirius, and lupin growing older and acting like better people. since its from harry’s perspective this can be done through sirius and lupin sharing stories or again having some more regretful reflection on their younger years. also give wormtail more nuance?? is he at all regretful for turning on his friends, does he have second thoughts, maybe he tries to make things right in the end?? i know the “he was only in gryffindor because he valued bravery and everything gryffindor was despite not being it himself” but like it would be cool if there was something more....idk wormtail couldve been a more nuanced character......

3) speaking of possible redemption arcs tho how about some actual redemption arcs?? first we have draco, who despite having multiple hints of having a sweeping redemption arc the whole thing just sort of....falls flat. idk i dont really pay much attention to dracos character and there are people who could speak to this way better than i could go look at their meta.but then snape. SNAPE!!!! undoubtedly the worst character in the series and the bane of my existence. the worst part is he really COULD have been the ‘villain-but-not-really-he-was-good-all-along’ character jkr wanted to be if we just changed some pretty fucking major things his character in his character. first like....don’t....make him a child abuser??? its really that simple!!! don’t abuse children!!!!! like he could have just been a stern and surly teacher who yeah is maybe too strict and is maybe an asshole but also doesn’t like. fucking abuse children because of his own vendettas. IT’S NOT HARD like children/teens always think teachers are out to get them when their teachers are just kind of dicks it could have easily been just that without snape doing a ton of the awful shit he did. like remember when they saw snape muttering when harry’s broom was going nuts so they just assumed he was evil and doing it himself when really he was just trying to be a good guy??? more of that. like the whole thing.second like make his love for lily a legit and motivating thing rather than the creepy stalkerish thing it became. maybe instead of snape being the one to tell voldemort the prophecy so that he can kill james and harry (wtf????????!!!!!!!!!) he overhears someone else tell voldemort the prophecy and begs voldemort to spare them (yeah ALL of them!!!! because even tho hes a salty salamander he still wouldn’t wish death upon those who makes lily happy because that’s!!!! what love is!!!!!) . and when he doesn’t that’s when he realized he fucked up and joined the wrong side. and then actually looks out for harry growing up. like maybe he can’t bring himself to be a full fatherly figure because he’s still an asshole but he doesn’t actively go out of his way to be a huge dick to harry just because he’s bitter that lily had a child with someone else. and in the end when he gives his memories it shows all the moments where harry thought snape was being a dick but actually behind the scenes he was doing all he could to protect and push harry along on his journey because he loved lily and hates himself for the way he treated her and he also loves harry and you know stuff that could play into the whole love thing without being a creepy vindictive abusive stalker!!!!i hate canon snape not just because he’s the worst but because he could’ve been written to be the actually good character he’s framed to be.

4) a better approach to houses!!!! like i get its told from harrys perspective so of course Gryffindor Is The Best but like. it is soooo easy to make the houses more nuanced and balanced look at every piece of fanfic and rp ever (okay thats obviously hyperbole but still. point is it aint hard). maybe add more characters to each house!! i get its easier to just have the golden trio all be gryffindor but how interesting would it have been to have them scattered across the houses but still manage to become friends. and yeah maybe some slytherins can be jerks but also maybe thats just how harry sees it because the first slytherin he met was a piece of shit!!! but there are tons of good slytherins and maybe some join dumbledore’s army or hell at least come back for the battle of hogwarts!!!! and then there can be plenty of death eaters who come from all across the house spectrum. hufflepuffs who are undyingly loyal to voldemort. ravenclaws who love learning about the dark arts. gryffindors who would absolutely sacrifice themselves for their dark cause. like. its so easy. its soooooo easy. and then there would be equal merch of all the houses across the spectrum and people would be able to be proud of their houses without having to justify “yeah well not all slytherins are evil!!! hufflepuffs can be cool look at cedric!!!!! ravenclaws care about more than just getting good grades!!!!!”it’s so easy. im so mad.

5) STOP!!!!!! just. stop the fucking series. of course rewrite the epilogue to show not everyone being Straight Married With Children but how the war affected them. maybe it be a couple months or a couple years after everything and yeah maybe you can make some couples canon if you really want but thats not what i would do personally. show that they’re struggling but they’re surviving. they’re there for each other. use it to drive home a few of the main themes.and then just STOP!!!!!!!! NO MORE!!!!!!! like yeah maybe pottermore could be used to post some cute little quips that expand background characters and fill in plot holes that couldn’t be explained in the books. we learn more about professor’s histories, maybe some cool worldbuilding about stuff that was sort of mentioned but just!!!! no cursed child!!!!! no fantastic beasts!!!!! no making up shit for countries and cultures that you barely know about and don’t feel like researching or being actually respectful towards!!!!!!!!! let the fans do all of that for you stop putting your foot in your mouth and milking the cash cow!!!!!! just!!!!!!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway that was a horrible ramble that isn’t actually all that well thought out nor did i reread it but take it anyway my lovely followers

[seagreenflowers]

for your consideration this pride month:

A non-binary, bisexuals probably homophobic opinions on gender and sexuality

for starters, i’d like to say this is just my personal opinion and i don’t expect anyone to actually read this other than maybe one friend i have on tumblr and people i specifically send it to, but in the event that this blows up because ya know, it’s the internet: I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s gender expression, sexuality, person opinions, labels, or thoughts on the community. this is just how i personally view everything concerning LGBT from my lived experiences.

to begin, i think that there are two main opinions from people in and outside the community over the number of labels we use and they generally fall into these categories either: “we have too many, these fucking snowflakes” and “i don’t really care, you do you” there are very, very few actually “”snowflakes”” that use the terminology we’ve all seen and had opinions about. therefore, why is it still in use? why do they have their own pride days in the month? well, from what i can see, my best guess is the definitions of everything are very muddled and the minute differences are expanded upon in ways that simply do not make sense to me.

for example, the sheer number of words we have for an attraction to multiple genders, while they all have their own differences, why can there not just be an umbrella term and people describe their individual sexual desires to the people they need to define it to. just to make my case here’s the words i’ve found:

bisexual

pansexual

omnisexual

polysexual

queer

all of these words have a basic meaning of attraction to more than one gender that it is inconceivable to me why we need all of them. if there’s discourse around how bisexual doesn’t just mean two, then why does poly exist? and if there’s discussion about bisexuals not always have a gender preference then why do pan and omni have distinctions? to me personally, in a perfect world, we need zero labels, but how we live today, we need the labels. if straights and gays aren’t equal and we take away the distinctions, they’ll never be equal. but stemming from that, i have qualms with words like this that feel like preferences over an actual distinction in sexuality. because the argument from the community (which i 100% agree with) is that you don’t Choose sexuality, things that feel like Choosing demean the entire system. things like bi where you see gender feel to me like “when looking for a partner, i Choose based on gender” definitionally and maybe that’s a misinterpretation of the word choice because in dating and sex everyone has to experience choice, that’s consent, but really you fall in and out of want instead of saying “i’m looking for a 5’4 blonde girl that has freckles” because as much as you can have a wish list it will never be fulfilled in the way you intend because people don’t bend to specifications. and maybe that thought process of not looking for a gender or a set of attributes makes me pan, but that’s not how i identify, so this is where we get to the point. if people don’t identify with the words that most describe how they actually feel because there’s another word that explains them, why do the words exist in the first place!

this is why it took me 4 years to actually come to the conclusion that i was bi. 1. because of the sheer number of words to describe how i was feeling but 2. if bisexuals can have any split between male and female attraction (doesn’t have to just be male and female but for examples sake) if i am not split 50/50 that would fall into the realm of poly and omni. and 3. girls are cute but are girls like date cute or are girls just like delicate cute (but that’s beside the point)

now i think i continue to beat a dead horse if i go into discussions about asexuality and all of its subgroups 1. because i’ve proven my point with multiple gendered love and 2. that’s not my community i would get something wrong and that’s not my intention. but GENDER!! FUN!!

so anyway that i go into this is going to sound offensive and it will get kind of rude but it’s out of pure inability to comprehend most of this. if someone wants to educate me, go right ahead.

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GENDER IDENTITY AND GENDER EXPRESSION

gender identity is the gender you feel. the sex. male, female, non-binary.

gender Expression is how you interpret that label. things like demi girl and gender fluid feel in this category to me because you Cannot in any case change gender day to day. period.

you are allowed to dress more masculine and feel more comfortable masculine one day and feel more comfortable feminine another. that’s not your gender changing!!!!! that’s just PREFERENCES!!!!!!! that’s Choice!!!!!!

what i’ve always understood in my heart the way to tell if you’re feeling a shift in expression or in identity is these 3 categories: perception, privates, personality. the three Ps (i did just come up with this)

are you worried or uncomfortable with someone using a certain name or set of language that hints to gender (such as queen v king) [the pronoun discussion is for later i don’t find it appropriate to include it here] this is perception

do you dislike something being a part of your body, not because you find it ugly, uncomfortable, or unnecessary but because you Want the Parts of Another Sex. for example there’s a difference in “oh i wish i didn’t have a uterus because i hate periods” and “i wish i didn’t have a uterus because the thought of that being a part of my body makes me feel sick because i want *male anatomy*” that is privates

and finally, personality. just because you’re a tomboy doesnt make you trans. just because you like dresses or skirts as a boy, doesn’t make you trans. everyone’s personality and individualism is what makes this difficult. you’re allowed to have interests that are “of the opposite gender” that don’t make you trans.

and something that i feel is an important distinction and will lead us into the pronouns portion, and this sounds rude but it’s not, it’s the truth. there are a lot more people that claim ftm than mtf. there just simply are, and the problem with that arises with a lot of women are upset about the condition of being a woman in today’s society, with all the pressures, expectations, lack of rights, etc etc that they would rather be perceived as a man. they would rather be a man to avoid the constant taunting of women and as much as that’s relatable, being fed up with the human condition of womanhood DOES NOT MAKE YOU TRANS. all of the “she/they non-binaries” that arise today that have no problems with being identified as a woman in public, that have no want to change their physical bodies because they want the ones of the opposite sex, and act Like A Woman *are not really trans* because that demeans every aspect of what it Actually means to be trans and honestly it’s kind of insulting to be someone that experiences extreme gender dysphoria to just see people with the desire to be less of a woman out of, here’s this again, Choice, when really they’re mad about society. and oh boy is it completely valid to be mad about the conditions of women, and it is valid to identify as she/they or he/they. it’s just, the distinction between people that actually experience gender dysphoria and the ones that don’t like the way that boobs make the world interact with them.

ALSO WHAT THE FUCK ARE NEOPRONOUNS????? i don’t get it. i’ve never understood it and i don’t think i ever will but like, bold claim, furries and otherkins aren’t Part of the lgbt community???? and i might be mislead on what neopronouns actually are but the only time i’ve seen them actually used are in cases with otherkins and the like wanting to be referred to as pronouns that correspond with their *preferred species* which is a whole other can of snowflake worms that i don’t have time to get into today but like,,,in my humble opinion, i feel as tho he she and they kinda cover the spectrum. you’re fem identifying, she/her. boom, solved. ur masc identifying he/him. lovely, awesome. you feel in between, they/them. great. excellent. you have kinship with both femininity and androgyny she/they (or vice versa he/they) but like IM NOT CALLING SOMEONE LIKE “”BUNSELF”” CAUSE YOURE A BUNNY. THATS NOT HOW LANGUAGE WORKS???? this is only a phenomenon of the english language because most latin languages DONT EVEN HAVE A THEY/THEM FOR EVERYDAY CONVERSATIONS. and we have the AUDACITY to come up with this stuff???? i don’t- i don’t get it. like i speak spanish (i’m not a native, i’m still learning so don’t roast me if i say something incorrect) and it’s nearly impossible to find a way to refer to yourself as a they/them because the words simply don’t exist. i’m lucky enough to be okay with he/him pronouns but in languages and cultures were every single thing you interact with is labeled with a gender there’s simply no time to come up with and incorporate things like Neopronouns when we can’t even find a way to express the basics in another language... and the whole point of the LGBT community is to be inclusive to everyone no matter their sexuality, gender, race, ethnic background etc etc but this is something that quite blatantly leaves out most of the World.

anyway, these are some of my opinions. feel free to ask questions and ignore typos. once again i’m open to education, but this has been my ted talk.

[djrelentless]

“And I Am The Troublemaker...”

June 26, 2013 at 5:07am

The date was June 24th, 2013. I had been up all night editing music for my performances for Pride Week in Toronto. I was just about to got to bed when I decided to give facebook one more look before I retired for the morning. Checking through my feed I came across a post of a photo of Jada Hudson and Daytona Betch with the hashtag “playing basket ball”. Now, normally that wouldn’t bother me, but the fact that Daytona Betch was in “blackface” really caught my attention. When I woke up later that day, my husband came across the photo and found several more. Apparently Daytona’s performance was a huge hit.

Then I got to thinking....since I have been here there seems to be a theme of mocking races almost every year in Toronto. When I speak to my friends back in the states, they often mention how nice Canadians are. They always talk about how progressive the laws are here and what a great Parliament you have in your government. I have even bragged to my friends of color how nice it is to go into a department store and not be followed around by security. And almost all of my friends praise the Healthcare system.

So, when my husband decided to speak out on facebook about how he felt about “Blackface in 2013” it must have come to be a shock to those who enjoyed the show on Sunday night on Church Street, because they all came out to defend Daytona. They weren’t defending “blackface”.....they were defending their friend and beloved bad girl on the mic. The gyrl who is known for being a little rude  and highly inappropriate when hosting her shows. She is revered for this. People love her for it. I personally don’t care for that kind of conduct when hosting a show. I believe this kind of behavior on the mic would eventually lead to some kind of misunderstanding.

So, as the day went on, more and more people chimed in. Some agreeing that “blackface” has no place in our communities and others showing their support for Daytona. I wasn’t surprised. She is very popular on Church Street. I was kinda surprised at some of their defensive statements, bringing up people who impersonate Michael Jackson and even the movie “White Chicks” in comparison to the hatred and separatism that “blackface” has played in degrading and demeaning black people.

Let’s see....after reading about the Royal Canadian Legion ordering its Campbellford, Ontario chapter to close while police investigated a person in a Ku Klux klan robe led another man in “blackface” around on a noose winning first prize in a Halloween costume contest in 2010 on a site called “ChimpOut” and then most recently reading about the firefighter who went on a facebook rant about Travyon Martin I have been a little sensative to racial issues lately.

http://www.chimpout.com/forum/showthread.php?148540-Niggers-complain-after-KKK-costume-wins-Halloween-contest

http://gizmodo.com/5910442/dirtbag-racist-firefighter-demoted-for-idiotic-facebook-rant-about-travyon-martin

And with a member of the Boylesque doing blackface to pay tribute to fellow member Mahogany Storm and two different performances by Donnarama where she upset some Asains in the audience at the “To Haiti With Love” Benefit in 2010 and most recently offending the Queer Muslim Community last December, it does seem that racial issues are still at hand today.

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/rahim-thawer/drag-toronto_b_2323047.html

http://www.xtra.ca/public/Toronto/Hiphop_group_heckled_at_Toronto_Pride-10498.aspx

After the Yes Yes Ya’ll incident at the 2011 Toronto Pride, it was very apparent that there was something bubbling under the surface. And then on Tuesday I was attacked for on facebook for blowing this whole thing out of proportion. The person even said that I didn’t have compassion for Daytona’s feelings on this matter:

“I have a huge problem with Mr & Mrs Jade Elektra, they decided to put Daytona Betch on blast for how she looked on sunday, they weren't at the show, they didn't see the crowd's reaction but they want to sit back and throw shade, no one denies racism happens but it's not lurking behind every bush and it's not born into the hearts of everyone. it's something Racism is something people learn it's not something born within us and to sit back and pretty much smear Daytona with those implications is so uncool, this is someone Ms Jade you have worked with for years according to you, would it have been too much for you Ms Jade or Mr Jade to PM her and say, "maybe doing what you did was not a good idea" I mean the event was over and done and this wasn't a regular part of her act, wouldn't it have been a more HUMANE thing to do than to call her out for a public flogging.

Have any of you considered how she felt or is currently feeling because of this or do you think applying the makeup somehow eliminated the person beneath it and her feelings. In your heat to bring truth, justice and the american way to our sad and pathetic shores do you forget something called compassion?

Do u think she did this to intentionally upset the racial apple cart, every other person who stepped up to take a piece of her were not at the show sunday night but that doesn't stop you 2 from being the voice of the canadian people.

Ms Jade you had some dirty dealings with one (name removed) some time ago, no one splashed your picture all over facebook and held you up to public scrutiny did they, you also had some less than joyful partings with some bars in the village but they didn't put you on blast.

You just don't throw someone under the bus for a first offense, were you trying to be the voice of the people who were at the show that didn't complain to you that they weren't offended and they found the whole thing funny, sometimes people do things with no thought of race... IT HAPPENS but thankfully there are people like you Mr & Mrs Jade to remind us that there is racial disharmony even when there are none, thanks alot ;)

Ms Jade Daytona is loved and admired because she is rude, crass, and all sort of mean but mostly because she is entertaining, you should try being entertaining sometime, it might be a new and exciting experience for you.”

I decided to leave the post as it was. The person thought that they were really calling me out. In fact, I kinda got the impression from this post and a few of the others that some people feel like I am causing trouble because of my opinion. I mean....since other black people of the community are supporting Daytona I must be jealous of her or just want to appear superior. Funny...I believe there is enough room in our community and on our stages for all of our differences. I may not be someone’s cup of tea, but then again one of the oldest racial slaps in the face may just not be the cat’s meow for others.

My reply to this post was:

“We all know that Daytona is a loved figure on Church Street. I even said I don't believe she is a racist. But like I said.."if you gotta ask if something is okay, it probably isn't okay". I gave my opinion and that was that. Several people have given their opinion, but obviously mine has struck a nerve with you. As for my reputation on Church Street....I have worked at all of the venues in some form or fashion. I have never done anything onstage that was considered to be offensive. That's not my style of performance. Miscommunications and different views points of what is entertaining have ended a couple of my shows, but I have more than proved myself as an entertainer and producer. As for (name removed)...whatever he has told you is his opinion. If he had stayed in contact with me during Pride week of 2010 he would have went on the Bermuda trip in which I booked a few gyrls for a show that I produced. It was the show director in Bermuda who made the final decision not to include him (and he knows that). His actions of not showing up for his scheduled show at Crews cost him his job. I had nothing to do with that. I was one of the people who vouched for him to get his own show. So, if he wants to hold a grudge for something that he did....so be it. If this is your intent of "putting me on blast", bring it on! I have been very transparent in my attempts to create shows and help the community. Blackface in 2013 is just not a good idea.”

I guess the most disturbing thing about the timing of this incident is it is the beginning of Pride Week. It’s also the same day that George Zimmerman’s trial started and Paula Deen lost her job at The Food Network for admitting to using the N-word. So, it would seem that racial issues are actually on everyone’s minds these days.

At the end of the day my opinion has not changed. Back in 2011 I wrote a blog about Spike Lee’s movie, “Bamboozled”. In it I talked about the history of “blackface” and my own experiences with racism in the south. One of the comments from a local black gay citizen on my husband’s thread said:

“we're not American huabout american hin, we're Canadian immigrants and most of us dont really care about American History ... black people everywhere in the world understands the negativity of racism brother...trust me.....we all experience it no matter where we are from and none of us like it.....some of us will respond very aggressively when its directed towards us.....but this was not that...and personally, i dont see Daytona as racist in any way shape or form.”