#loneliness can be such a fucking demon sometimes.... like im ok being alone rn but sometimes that demon sneaks up on me

[blkjackalz]

hiding in the tags and thinking abt feelings. scroll on past if you so want!

#day rants #day texts #loneliness can be such a fucking demon sometimes.... like im ok being alone rn but sometimes that demon sneaks up on me #i can be relaxing and doing the most mundane thing when it strikes; making me miss the simple things about loving someone romantically #like its always the stupidiest things too; nothing you'd expect for someone to say such as wanting to be held or sex or anything. #when i get lonely i miss the way that you can know someone so intimately that you know the differences in their smiles and laughs. #its missing how easily conversation can flow; even over the stupidest things in the world... just because you wanna hear them talk #its being so connected and attuned to another person that you just KNOW them. as much as they let you #its missing someones absent-minded touch on your skin when you get distracted or entranced in something #idk for me its all these stupid little things along with the bigger and more common ones #i love being single; dont get me wrong. however i dont like feeling so alone and disconnected from others #i also want someone to feel that way about me yk? #like if im gonna date i dont wanna date just to date i want it to mean something. i wanna mean something to them. #idk just been thinking. about somethings; about someone #life is mad scary though... and i hate doing shit i find scary #i gotta do it to grow though