#listening 2 outbreak got me feeling things

[arcanefox207]

The Wolf You Feed (Part 2)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Rating: Explicit, 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 5.6k

Part 2 / ? (Ongoing Series) (AO3)

Summary: Set in a fictional New England town, you fall for your handsome, intense and outdoorsy neighbor while renting out your parent's vacant summer home during a brutal winter.

Warnings: No Outbreak, AU but with TLoU characters, Large age gap (Reader is 29. Joel is 50). Pet names but no use of Y/N. Reader is smaller than Joel and has hair he can grab. POV Switching. Series contains Angst and lots of Smut (to avoid chapter specific spoilers you can expect things such as but not limited to Unprotected PiV, Cream Pies, Oral, Masturbation, Dom!Joel, Subby reader, Pining, Infidelity) 

A/N: In case you are just jumping in, you can read Part 1 here. Part 2 is more smut heavy! I aim to have Part 3 out much sooner as time allows!

A O 3 | M A S T E R L I S T | N O T I F I C A T I O N S

Comments / Reblogs are so incredibly appreciated and give me the motivation to write 🧡

Without further ado... for your reading pleasure.

It’s late on Saturday morning and you have a pot of coffee brewing while you shower. You stand in the stream of hot water far longer than you need to. Your thoughts shrouded by your evening with Joel Miller. How rough but passionate his touch was. How he made you get on your knees for him. How he tasted and how badly you wanted… needed  more of him. Your hands trace over tender spots where he held onto you and you relish the memory. 

He tested your obedience and you followed his orders. You hope it turned him on as much as it did you. You liked surrendering yourself to him. Despite his roughness you felt safe with him. You couldn’t explain it yet but you could feel that his burly facade was hiding something softer. 

You finally step out onto the cool tile and dry off in front of the mirror. You pat your hair down with your towel and when the steam starts to dissipate you catch how happy you look. An old you that you have not recognized for a long, long time. 

You smile to yourself and resolve to put Joel out of your mind for now or nothing would be getting done today. 

The coffee helps wake you up enough to plan out your morning. There is a light coating of fresh snow and the sky looks gray and ominous. A big storm is expected to hit overnight so you head into town to pick up some food and provisions. You make a quick stop at Grind when you see Marlene’s car parked in front.

There are a few customers and you are surprised to see Marlene working. By her expression, she wasn’t too pleased to be there.

“Hey!” You greet her as you approach the counter. “You got stuck working today?”

“Yeah, someone called out.” she rolled her eyes. “Don’t feel too bad for me, it’s your turn next.” she jokes. A teenager is busy checking out a customer and another is making a latte. Marlene steps away for a moment to chat with you.

“So…” she prods. “How did it go?” You fail to hide your smile and thoughts of Joel overtake you once again. 

“It went… great.” 

“When can I meet him?” 

You laugh nervously at her question.

“Lets not jump ahead. Right now it’s just something… casual.” 

She is skeptical of your reply and stares at you for a moment, trying to will more out of you, but you don’t give in. 

“Ok. Whatever you say.” She rolls her eyes again. “I have to get back to work, but you are going to have to tell me sooner or later.” She points at you and furrows her brow. 

“Yeah, Yeah.” You joke. “See you Monday!”

You leave the shop and cross the street to the grocery store. The place is mobbed and the shelves wiped out of the most in demand items. You grab a few things and chat with your mom who calls you to check in. Rather, to tell you all about her excursions and gossip about people you have never even met. You don’t mind and just tell her things are going well, you like your job and let her ramble on, not really listening. Mindless chatter in your ears while you shop. 

She does catch you off guard when she mentions hearing about the storm and “Joel will plow for us if we ask him to” casually. Your ears perk at the mention of his name but you act cool and collected. You don’t like the way she volunteers his services so nonchalantly. It strikes a nerve in you and reminds you of how she always insinuates you are incapable of being responsible. It makes you feel defensive for Joel, too. Her disregard for his time further illustrating how self centered she is. This was one of the factors that pushed you away for so many years. 

“Your father will call him later—” 

Absolutely not. You interrupt her sternly mid-sentence. 

“Mom. I will take care of it.” The last thing you want is your parents harassing Joel or trying to control you from across the country. This was a string you needed to make clear was not going to be attached to your current living arrangement.

“I have things under control.” 

“Oh… ok then.” Her tone is short and then she is off talking about her beach plans again. This goes on for another 10 minutes and by now you are in the checkout line. You say your goodbyes and calculate another week or two before you have to do that all over again. 

You hadn’t really considered the snow aftermath but you had a shovel and your car would be good enough to get out of your driveway… probably. You were not going to bother Joel regardless. 

The call puts you in a bad mood as you drive home. The spitting snow reminds you of the impending storm. The cheerful start of the day is gone and replaced with a heavy feeling.

You drive past Joel’s house and wonder if he is home and what he is doing. Wonder if you should call him. Wonder why he has not reached out to you either. You don’t want to be that girl. It’s not like you and him are anything. You shouldn’t be expecting anything from him. However, you still feel a faint sting of disappointment. Maybe he had his fun and that was it. Self doubt poisons your mind but you try to swallow it back. 

The rest of the day you spend eating junk food and watching movies on Netflix. You fall asleep on the couch early in the night before forcing yourself into bed. The wind and snow has ramped up and your power flickers. 

You pull your comforter tightly over you and take one last look at your phone but you already know there is nothing from Joel. 

Saturday Night (Joel POV)

Joel sits up in his loft on his worn out couch, strumming his guitar. He takes a sip of his whiskey, neat, and poorly mouths the words to his song. 

He plays a few more riffs but feels distracted and unfocused. All attempts to keep busy have been ineffective today. He spent the afternoon preparing his truck and stacking firewood. Once that work was done he had nothing but free time.

The truth is, you have been on his mind. It was hard not to think about you. He had only explored the tip of the iceberg with you and wanted more. He knew it wasn’t right to pursue you for a magnitude of reasons, but the desire was not waning. He felt things with you that he had not felt in a long time. Feelings he was afraid to give in to.      

Joel replaces the guitar in his hands with his phone and hovers your name in the recent contacts.  This isn’t the first time today he has almost called you. 

What are you doing, stupid. He thinks to himself. 

He shuts down the moment of weakness and locks his phone. He knocks back the last of his whiskey and heads downstairs. He turns on his TV to the local news and listens to them fuss over the storm. He knew tomorrow would be a busy one for him with his side hustle as the plow guy many locals depended on. Just another thing to keep him busy. 

He goes to take a shower before calling it an early night.

The shower is hot and comforting and in no time his mind is wandering back to you. He thought about your brief evening together and how intriguing you were. How bold you were. How tight you were when he was fingering you and how needy you sounded.  

He puts a fist against the shower wall to brace himself and hangs his head low so his shoulders block the bulk of the water. He uses his free hand to wrap around his semi-hard cock. He remembers your playful hold on him and gently strokes himself. It doesn’t take very long to get hard as he relives that moment in his mind. His strokes get harder and faster and he wishes he was fucking into you and not his own hand.

He groans as he comes and watches his spend drip down the shower walls and into the drain. His few moments of bliss quickly fade away. He balls his fist in frustration at his unfulfilling release. He needs more. He needs you. 

Your Sunday morning begins with anything but peace and calm. You are startled awake by the grinding sound of heavy metal dragging across pavement. You look outside your bedroom window and see the snow has blanketed everything and there are still a few lingering flurries dancing in the sky. The trees are struggling with bent over branches coated in ice and snow. 

Leaving your warm and cozy blanket fortress is the last thing you want to do. You lazily grab a hoodie to pull over your oversized shirt you slept in and your pajama shorts and make your way to the front of the house. The floor is cold on your feet but the air is warm. You cranked the thermostat before bed, making you feel rebellious in the moment but it seemed silly and wasteful now.

You look out the front window that faces the driveway. There you see Joel Miller in his truck, plow attached, barreling towards you and crashing into a snowbank he started building up. He looked so serious and professional backing up his truck with an arm stretched across his seat as he looked over his shoulder. He was so focused he was not aware you were watching him and his scowl at work. 

It doesn’t take long before that familiar ache between your legs returns. The longing to let Joel have his way with you. A desire that is getting harder and harder to ignore.

The realization that you look like you just woke up from bed hits and you scramble to the bathroom to run a comb through your hair and brush your teeth. You can hear the drag of the plow continue as you finish up and then rush to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. The stove clock reads 7:32am. Way too fucking early for a Sunday morning.

You hear his truck door slam and the sound of crunchy snow under his boots. He is walking with a heavy foot and grabs the shovel leaning by your door.

Joel is shoveling your walkway, weaving a modest path for you to get from your house to your driveway without trudging through the snow. You can hear him grunt as he tosses the heavy snow out of the way. What would have taken you probably an hour takes him just a few minutes. 

He plunges the shovel into a snowbank when he reaches the end of the path and leans on it to catch his breath. He looks exhausted and rightfully so. You want to comfort him in whatever way you can. At least offer him some respite to show your appreciation. As much as you hate to admit it, you would have been totally fucked if you had to tackle your driveway with your inadequate self. Joel saves the day, again.

You crack open the front door and call out to Joel, reluctantly interrupting his moment of peace. 

“Hey!” 

He slowly turns in your direction when he hears your voice. His eyes scrunch as he makes out your figure hanging out the door. He gives a lazy wave of acknowledgment. 

“Come inside and warm up? I made coffee.” 

He picks up the shovel to return it and makes his way towards you. 

“Yeah, ok. Just for a minute” He follows you inside.

Joel closes the door hard behind him and scuffs his boots on the mat to get off any snow. He brushes his hand quickly over the top of his head to knock off any lingering snow and unbuttons his jacket. He empties his pockets and puts his wallet and phone on the end table. He saunters over to you as you hand him a fresh cup of coffee, black. 

“Thanks.” He manages a smile. He returns to the living room and groans as he lowers himself to the couch. He recklessly sips his piping hot beverage and seems immune to the searing heat and delighted to have it.  He rests his mug on the table and leans back and closes his eyes. His hand comes up to his brow as he pinches his thumb and finger together across his eyes.   

You lean against the doorway between the rooms and sip your coffee. You notice how tired and worn he looks. His damp hair is shiny. His heat is melting the last few snowflakes and making him look messy and wet. His jacket is open and disheveled and his flannel undershirt is haphazardly draping on him as he slouches back. 

Despite all that he is still as handsome as ever and you like seeing him this way. Vulnerable in this out-of-character state. 

“Tired.” He grunts with his eyes closed and it snaps you out of your thoughts. “Been a long morning.” 

You take a few steps towards him to close the gap.

“I’m too old for this.” He sneers as he looks at you with lazy, heavy lids.

“You didn’t have to worry about me, you know…” Your voice trails off as you wonder if he was there on his own volition. You can’t help but ask. You need to know.

“Did… did my dad call you?” 

“No.” he answers firmly with a suspicion in his tone, almost sounding offended. 

“Good. I mean, thank you. That was really nice of you to come over.” You pause and smile at him. You feel guilty, but also have never had someone so capable looking out for you before.  

“I was going to shovel it.” 

He raises his brow at the ridiculous claim.

“No you weren’t. Wouldn’t have let you if I saw ya out there.”

“Well.. Thank you.” 

“S’nothing. I don’t mind… having an excuse to see ya.” His brows raise and wrinkle in the middle. He has a softened expression as he looks into your eyes. 

Your heart skips a beat and is heavy in your chest, you wonder if he can hear it beating. Having an excuse to see you. You replay it in your mind. He wants to see you. You feel stupid for getting carried away thinking otherwise.    

You put your coffee down next to his and casually walk around to the back of the couch. There is a force compelling you to comfort him. Encourage him to relax. That fluttering feeling in your stomach surges. Joel Miller is exhausted on your couch and isn’t going to be putting up much of a fight if you fuss over him and you want to fuss over him. 

You stand behind him and reach your arms down and spread them slowly from his shoulders down to his sides. He lets out a tiny moan as you circle his taut muscles. You pinch and massage them as you go. You lean forward and bring your mouth just behind his ear. 

“You don’t need an excuse to see me.” It comes out softly and seductive. You can feel his body tense under your words. 

You rake your hands back up to his shoulders and curl your fingers under his open jacket. He halfway cooperates as you tug the jacket off his shoulders and pull it away from him. It's wet and heavy and most of the snow has melted into it by now. You toss it on the back of the couch and return to his shoulders. Your hands massage him and you can feel his muscles tight and knotted under your grasp. His head tilts back into the couch as he lets you tenderly work him.

“Feels good. Really good.” He says in a low, almost inaudible tone. His exhaustion has let his body surrender to you and he isn’t fighting to be in control. 

You lean forward again and plant your mouth on his jawline with a sensual kiss. His damp whiskers prickle your cheek as you drag it against him and go to his ear.

“Let me take care of you.”

He makes a deep, throaty sound in response. 

His flannel is damp and hot and he looks so uncomfortable and stuffy now that he has been inside a while. You slide one of your hands down to his chest and unbutton his shirt. You are halfway down and he reaches his arm up and curls his fingers behind your neck, pulling you down to his mouth. You can feel the shift in the room, like you woke a sleeping bear. 

“Come here.” He uses his free hand to tap his lap and loosens his grip on you.

You walk around to the front of the couch and stand in front of Joel. His legs are spread and he is still lazily slouched back but he motions for you to join him. His half unbuttoned shirt teases you with his thermal undershirt peeking out, still hiding his bare skin. At least you are getting closer.   

You step towards him and move to straddle him on the couch. You have a leg on each side and he puts a hand on each hip under your baggy sweatshirt. 

His hold is tender but makes you melt when you feel the wingspan his fingers have on you. His thumbs brush over your hip bones and trace down to the soft skin just above the crease of your thigh as he casually dips them along your waistband. His touch sends sparks through your skin. 

He lazily stares you down with a narrow gaze over his nose, still resting his head back. 

“Keep going.” He closes his eyes as your focus goes back to finish unbuttoning his shirt.   

As you get close to his jeans you can feel him hardening and straining against the zipper.

You pop open the button and carefully unzip him. His cock springs loose in his boxer shorts. It teases you behind the cloth barrier and you reach for his waistband so you can grab a hold of him. His fingers dig into your sides and he pushes you back slightly to make you stop. He fights through the laziness and is now fully alert. 

“You want my cock?” He grits through his teeth.  “Think it’ll fit in your pretty pussy?” He drags one of his hands to your center and grabs you through the fabric. He smirks as he can feel you are wet and damp through your thin sleep shorts. His fingers sneak into the leg hole of your shorts and he teases your clit through your cotton underwear. You clench remembering the stretch from his thick fingers deep inside you just the other night.

“Yes–” your words catch in your throat as he pushes your underwear aside and thumbs over your folds. He barely touches you and opts to tease you instead, deliberately feathering over your swollen clit. You reach down to grab the wrist of his occupied hand and grind into his fingers. Your body craves the friction. 

“Fuck me, Joel.” 

His eyes darken and with a devilish smirk he takes his hand back and watches as you slide off him to take off your clothes. He looks at your body with a sleazy ferocity. If any other guy looked at you that way you would have slapped him, but not Joel Miller. You want his attention and you like the way it makes you feel when he is eyeing you like a starving wolf.

You pull off your hoodie and shirt and toss them to the piles of clothes building up on the floor. You stand in front of him completely naked. Exposed.  Joel brings out a side of you that makes you feel confident and bold. The way he looks at you with intrigue and desire encourages you. You take a brief moment to tease him back and drag your hands over your breasts and one continues down to your cunt. 

Joel stirs in his seat. He is so easy to rile up. He pulls off his flannel and kicks off his boots. His thermal long sleeve remains hugging his body in all the right places. He arches forward as his hand grabs his thermal from the back and pulls it off over his head. It makes a prickly, staticy sound as it brushes over his hair. He tosses it to the ground and for the first time you can fully take in his body without so many layers hiding him. 

His broad shoulders and chest taper down to a narrowed waist. His body is rugged and defined. For an older man his physique had been well maintained thanks to his lifestyle. His tanned skin and his messy, dark hair with silver streaks sends tingles through you. You have never been so physically drawn into someone before on a level that almost felt primal. 

His eyes sweep your body up and down as he drags his thumb along the side of his mouth and rakes his fingers through his scruff on his chin. He bites his lip while he drinks you in. 

“Damn, baby.”  He curls his thumbs inside the band of his jeans and tugs them down along with his boxers. He kicks them off his legs and reaches towards you, wrapping around the back of your thigh and beckons you to return to him. 

“Come ‘ere”

Your eyes gape as you take in his sheer size. It is intimidating but makes you ache with desire. 

You are back in his lap straddling him with little coercion needed. You stretch an arm behind you to hold yourself up and the other touches yourself. This position lets him take all of you in; bare, exposed and wanting. Wet and needy for him. 

His hand reaches for his throbbing cock. He palms himself with a few labored strokes. He is already beading precome at the tip. You feel a pang of jealousy and wish it was your body wrapped around him. He catches the hungry way you are looking at him. You catch how much he likes it. 

“You wanna ride this cock?” He brushes the tip against your opening and you let out a whimper in response and lurch forward. You brace yourself on his forearm and your other hand pushes against his chest to keep yourself upright. His skin is firm as you grip into him. His body hot and radiating like a furnace.    

“Haven’t gotten you off my mind since Friday.” He confesses. “Thinking about how tight my cock would fit in you.” He teases you with the tip again. Your whimper grows into a needy moan making him harder. Making him want you that much more. 

He crudely spits into his hand and rubs it along his shaft and then he notches it at your entrance. You can feel your body begging to be filled with him and you’ve been wet since you woke up to him in your driveway. You’ve lost count how many times you imagined Joel fucking you. He puts his hands back on your hips with a rough grip and you move your hands to his shoulders as you slowly lower yourself onto him. He helps keep you steady. 

“Joel! Fuck–” You moan. His thick cock sears your skin as it stretches you. He is slowly splitting you open inch by inch and you have never felt more full. He lets you control the pace for now, with pained restraint. He searches your eyes to make sure it isn’t too much. He knows he is a lot to take but the slowness is making him go insane. 

Joel lets out a grunt as he gets closer to bottoming out inside you. Your walls clench around him and the sweet pain from the stretch subsides as your body adjusts to his size. You slowly ride him up and down until you have him fully sheathed inside you. Your body is so full you don’t even have room to form complete thoughts. You can only focus on his burning hot heat inside you, tearing you open. Every moment before this pales in comparison.

“Fuck. So tight.” he snarls. His grip on you tightens as he pulls your body up and then thrusts into you, hard. He keeps the pace slow but more forceful than you were. He tries to be gentle but you can feel his patience slipping away.

One hand drags to his biceps where sweat is glistening. As he lifts you his muscles flex and contract he makes it seem so effortless to maneuver your smaller frame. Everything about Joel is big and strong and rigid. The epitome of masculinity.

Each thrust up into you makes you dizzy. You can feel yourself on the verge of orgasm, cock drunk and blissed-out. His heavy breathing and hitches in his voice send you over the edge as he pounds up into you. You ride the wave as he fucks you through it. Your arms entangle in each other and your bodies slap together, sweaty and panting. Your incoherent words and moans heighten with each thrust.

He makes you feel alive and pleasured in a way that you have never felt before. It is intoxicating. 

As you start to come down from the high you feel him getting close to his own release but he is still reserved and careful with you. Through gritted teeth he tries to keep his pace steady and builds you back up, never quite letting you recover.  

“Joel, Don’t… don’t hold back.” You manage to get out of your lips. You stare into him with hooded eyes and can only imagine how fucked out you look. He brings one of his hands up to the side of your face and strokes his thumb tenderly across your cheekbone.

“Ok, baby.” 

He leans into you and in a sweeping motion he twists and lays you back into the adjacent couch cushion. It is more of an oversized loveseat and not very ideal. He barely loses contact with your body as he positions himself above you. You can feel his weighty cock press into you and pin you in place as he leans forward, crowding you in the cramped confines of the couch.  

His mouth is on yours; rough and messy. He bites at your lip as he pulls away and reigns in his focus. Your legs clamp around his sides and your arms hold onto his neck. Your fingers snake into his hair and you grab hold of him. He slides his hands down your sides so he can hold you close as he resumes fucking into you. 

With this leverage, he somehow hits you deeper than before. His cock kisses the deepest parts of you again and again. Your sides bruise as he grips you harder. All his gentle inhibitions have been replaced with raw, unhinged furor. 

His pace quickens as you can feel him coming undone inside you. He is in a frenzy fucking you hard and deep and his grunts get louder. The heavy feel of him dragging out of you and shoving back with such force has you crying out his name along with a steady stream of expletives. 

You are so close but you beg your body to hold on, you don’t want the feeling to end. You want to live in this moment forever being trapped under Joel and being filled with his cock. You moan out his name as the second orgasm explodes through your body.  

“Fuck, baby..” his body quivers as he tries to hold out long enough for you to peak. 

He suddenly sits up and groans as he drags completely out of you. You whimper at the loss of him inside you and his wet, leaking cock slaps onto your belly. He strokes himself once with a heavy fist and grunts as hot ropes of cum spurt onto you. You relish being branded in his release. It coats your stomach and drips messily onto your cunt. You revel in the last fleeting moments of your orgasm being shared with Joel’s.   

He languidly strokes himself a few more times until he is empty. His chest rises and falls quickly as he breathes shallowly. His muscles weaken as the high from his climax rolls through him. 

He leans forward and presses his forehead to yours. The sticky mess spreads between your bellies as his body pushes into you. It's lewd and you love it. You love how filthy Joel makes you feel. All you can smell is sweat and sex and Joel.

He presses a kiss to your forehead and then sits back to catch his breath. Your bodies untangle and he goes back to his original spot on the couch. You stay laying back lazily with a leg draped casually over Joel and the other bent at the knee. You still need a moment for your legs to be in any condition to work properly. 

One of his hands rests on your thigh and he grazes it with comforting drags of his fingers. He doesn’t say anything but the gentle contact from him is welcome. The connection you share now is so contrasting to when he was railing you. It is a side of Joel that feels like a privilege granted to you.

The calm is interrupted by a vibration of his phone. Joel reluctantly picks it up to look at the screen and groans with disappointment. He answers it but doesn’t stop rubbing you gently while he conducts his business. 

“Fred, I’ll be there in 20.” 

You can’t make out the other end entirely but you can detect a man's voice. He doesn’t sound happy.

“Yeah, I’m running behind. Your house is next.” Joel tries to placate him. More chatter and you start to feel bad for holding him up. 

You move off of Joel and make your way towards the bathroom to wipe up the mess on your belly and grab your silky bathrobe off the door.  

“Ok, Fred. Be there soon.” You hear him hang up and toss his phone down with a grumble. He turns in your direction as he stands up to pull on his jeans. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I gotta’ go.” His tone is solemn now. You pop out of the bathroom and catch him using his undershirt to wipe up his mess. It’s gross but you like seeing him being comfortable being a typical, nasty man in your presence. Points for being resourceful.

“I heard. Didn’t mean to hold you up.” 

He glares at you and smirks as you make your way back to him. 

“Didn’t mind one bit.” He takes a few steps towards you to meet you halfway and kisses you on the top of your head while he wraps his arms around you. He breathes you in with his embrace and it feels so perfect being wrapped up by Joel. A final moment before it all ends and he pushes away from you, reluctantly. 

“And s’not a big deal. Snow aint going anywhere.” He says as he puts his flannel on, sans the thermal, and starts to button back up. 

His messy hair is mostly dry now and even more unruly with wild curls. You feel that fire inside you building again. It’s insatiable. You don’t want him to go. 

He laces up his boots and gathers his things. 

“Ok. I’m gonna hop in the shower.” 

“Ok, baby.” You exchange a final look and go your separate ways. You feel his eyes on you as you return to the bathroom. 

When you go back to the living room he is gone. All that remains is his dirty shirt and an empty coffee cup. 

Sunday Night (Joel POV)

After a few more hours of plowing Joel returns home. 

He takes a shower just long enough to wash the sweat and stink of exhaust from his body.

He pours himself a whiskey and collapses on the couch to relax. 

His body is weary, but his mind is still firing. It has not stopped. He has to face the reality that he is falling for you, whether or not he should be. 

He pulls out his phone and stares at it blankly. Hesitating. He scrolls through his contacts until he finds the one that he has been avoiding. He knocks back his drink and sends the text.

Joel: Tess. We need to talk.

Thank you to @magpiepills for beta-ing 🧡

Love to my ladies that mean everything @magpiepills @legendary-pink-dot @youandmeand5bucks @exquisiteserotonin @for-a-longlongtime @sparklefarts38 @pink-whiskey-woman @redhotkitchen 🧡

#joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #the last of us #joel miller smut #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fandom #joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #NewEngland!Joel #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #the wolf you feed #twyf

[gracieheartspedro]

Crave

Part 3 of "How Long"

pairing: f!reader x brother-in-law!joel miller

find part 1 and 2 here!

dedication: @jenispunk <3 I love you sm jen. thank you for always supporting my writing and being the best wife a girl could ever dream of. you make my heart so happy. thank you for helping me edit and being the first to read this and encouraging me no matter what! love you love you love you!!!

description: a weekend escape with joel and sarah, kinda. the bed situation is a little confusing. luckily you and joel make it work. when sarah's not around, of course.

word count: 5.5k

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, pre!outbreak joel, there is smut in this part!! unprotected p in v, oral sex (f receiving), joel is a CONSENT KING AGAIN, dirty talk, daddy kink (aha), hotel sex?, begging? lmao I think that's it.

author's note: finally. it's here. I feel like I've been staring at this doc for 7 years. thank you all for your patience. I want to continue this series but I have to sit down and really brainstorm what I'd like the next parts to be. let me know your thoughts! THANK YOU FOR READING!

“My favorite Millers!” 

Your face was beaming, seeing Joel hop out of his truck with Sarah in tow. The truck was still running, the diesel engine chugging louder than any truck you had been in before. Joel always had a nicer, newer truck. He made great money and he was always having to go into construction zones that needed an all terrain vehicle. They always got pretty banged up with dirt and rocks, but he took excellent care of the interior. 

Joel grabs both of your bags, taking them to the backseat where Sarah would be crammed in with all the luggage. You give him a nod, silently thanking him. Sarah wraps her arms around your waist, giggling with excitement. 

“I’m so happy you’re coming with us! It’s going to be a great weekend,” She explains while you two walk over to the tall truck. You always found climbing into a truck unnatural and awkward yourself, but it was hot watching Joel hop in with ease. You agree with Sarah, all the while opening up the door for yourself. Sarah springs up to her seat, and you struggle to crawl up into the cab. It makes Joel chuckle. 

“I’m making you lift me into this thing next time,” you joke, easing back into the fabric seats, “Especially since you think watching me struggle is funny.”

Joel looks back in the rear view to see if Sarah’s paying attention, “‘s no problem at all, darlin’. I will gladly help you next time.”

You knew he was flirting. It makes your stomach bubble with excitement. He makes sure you two are buckled and starts on the two and half hour journey to Houston. Once you leave your neighborhood, Sarah taps your shoulder and holds out her new CD player. It’s purple and covered in sparkly stickers. 

“Looks like your Dad is supplying you with all the ways to listen to music,” you observe, glancing over at Joel. He’s just watching the road, one hand on the steering wheel, the other propped up on the shifter. He looks younger, the dusk sky the perfect back drop for his pronounced nose and beautiful eyelashes. You couldn’t help but stare, even as Sarah’s talking your ear off. He just nods along to her, making sure she knows she’s heard. 

“Think I’m gonna listen to my Kelly Clarkson CD this time,” Sarah explains, putting her earphones over her voluminous curls, “So don’t try to talk to me!”

You and Joel giggle, shaking your heads at her comment. It’s not like you were the one’s talking before, you both think. 

It gives you both a moment without a kid’s ears nearby. 

“How was the rest of your work week?” He asks, tapping the shifter to the soft hum of the radio.

“Boring,” You mumble, “Think one of the guys in marketing has a crush on me and he’s making it impossible to avoid him. I can’t even go to the break room without him bothering me.”

You didn’t know why you felt the urge to tell Joel about the situation. It wasn’t even a real situation, it was just an annoying thing happening in your life.

“Hmph,” he ponders for a moment, “Want me to kill him?”

His tone is serious, but you know he’s just messing. You grin, nudging his arm with your elbow gently, ensuring it doesn’t move the steering wheel. 

“My hero,” You comment as you watch a smile crack across his face, “No, thank you, though. If it starts to get to stalker status, I will call you.”

“Seems like stalkin’ already, baby girl.”

The nickname makes your stomach flip. You purse your lips, contemplating his words. Sure it was creepy, but the guy was scrawny and you could probably snap him in half with two fingers. He had nothing to really worry about. Right?

Joel steals a glance over at you. 

“Maybe, but I’ll handle it.”

You wanted him to think you were strong enough to deal with unwanted attention, but to be honest, you weren’t sure how to say no to most men. You only ever had Tommy and he scared everyone away. Now everyone around town knew you were on the market, and men were drawn to your natural beauty and somewhat sassy attitude. 

Little did they know, you were hung up on the other Miller boy. 

“You let me know if you need me to talk to him,” He doesn’t take his eyes off the road, just reaches his right hand out to rest on your thigh, “Man to man.”

His hand is so warm, you feel it through your black leggings. He was almost always like a furnace, but it was okay, because you always ran cold. But every time he touched you, you felt that warmth trail up your arms and legs. He made you feel different. Every fiber of your being became electrified when he was around. It was a sensation you never noticed when you were with Tommy. You begin chalking it up to just being nervous because he was older and larger and… well, hotter. 

“Again, my hero,” you respond sarcastically, letting your hand rest on top of his. It makes him more confident, gently massaging that area. You watch as his hand creeps closer and closer to the crack between your legs. You practically gasp at the contact, but you catch yourself before you do, remembering there’s a child behind you. 

So you smack his hand away, shooting him a glare. 

“What are you doing?”

“Nothin’ just… sorry.”

You didn’t want him to pull away, your leg already missing his touch, but you knew what would happen if you did stuff like that in front of Sarah. She’s a teenage girl. She’ll talk. It’ll find it’s way to someone’s ears. 

You wanted to act like you didn’t care if Tommy found out, but deep down you knew it would be a disaster. You didn’t feel like being the talk of the town. You didn’t feel like explaining yourself to Tommy. You didn’t feel like watching Joel deal with the flack from his family, especially his mother. 

If you two wanted to continue this… game… you would have to keep it secret. That included keeping it away from Sarah’s eyes and ears. You and Joel would just be friends. You would just be her aunt. That’s it. 

“Don’t apologize,” You whisper, “Just not here.”

You two let the radio take over the rest of the trip, occasionally chatting about a song or what the newscaster says about the weather. Once you get into Houston, it’s already 8:30 at night. Joel pulls into the parking garage to the Marriot and you already start craving the bed that awaits you inside. 

-

“I call the bed near the window!” Sarah throws her stuff down, jumping straight onto one the huge queen size duvet. The room was nice. A large television set catches your eye immediately, proving that this was probably an expensive room if they were giving you free cable tv. The curtains were open, giving a beautiful view of Houston’s skyline. 

One thing you notice, too, is the fact that there was only two beds. You knew this, but it still made your stomach sink a bit. 

You realize you three hadn’t discussed the sleeping situation. You didn’t care where you would sleep, honestly. You just knew Sarah was a restless one, having slept next to her in a tent when she was 9. Family camping trips entailed you, Tommy, Joel, and Sarah sharing a 6 person tent and being absolutely miserable the whole entire time. Between Tommy’s snores and Sarah practically flailing all around the tent at night, you remember not getting a lick of sleep. 

“Go get a shower, Sarah. We will figure out who’s sleeping where.”

She groans at Joel, like usual. 

“Dad!”

“Shower,” he throws his bag down on the ground near the dresser, “No arguin’.”

Sarah sulks, her bag in hand, straight to the bathroom by the front door. You don’t say anything. You just start following Joel’s lead by putting your bags down next to his. You stand a bit too close to him, waiting for him to say where you’d be sleeping.  

He clears his throat, “I will take the recliner, if you want the bed.”

“Of course I want the bed, but I don’t want you to have to sleep in the recliner.”

It makes him laugh, how matter-of-fact you are. 

You hear Sarah start up the shower. You wouldn’t have to fear she hears you and Joel talk about the possibility of sleeping with one another. Again.

“It’s not a big deal,” He explains, unzipping his bags to grab his pajamas, “Sleep on the couch all the time.”

“But you have a nice plush couch,” You gesture towards the hard and structured looking recliner, “That doesn’t look comfortable at all.”

For a girl who didn’t want Joel touching you in the car, you were practically begging him to sleep next to you in the big comfortable hotel bed. 

“So, where do you want me to sleep?”

“Just take the bed.”

“But you want the bed.”

You swallow, not even looking up at him, “We both can have the bed.”

He’s silent, gripping onto his sweatpants and t-shirt. He slowly looks down at you, his eyes carry a curious glint in them. You cock your head, giving him a mischievous smirk.

“You and Sarah?”

“No, you and Sarah.”

He groans, “You are a fuckin’ tease.”

You giggle, watching him brush pass you to position himself close to the closet. He opens the closet door, slipping in like he’s looking for something in there. 

“What are you doing?”

“Changin’.”

“In the closet?”

He grabs his shirt from the nape of his neck and pulls it off smoothly. You can’t peel your eyes away, partially seeing his right peck from how he’s standing. It was like the morning after having sex with him. Your eyes were glued to him, his tanned skin practically asking to be touched and licked. 

You horny bitch. 

“Joel, get out of the closet.”

He chuckles, “Why? You want me to give you a show?”

Why yes, I really do, Joel. You think to yourself. You hum a response, peeling your eyes away. You needed to find your pajamas, a pair of Nike sports shorts and a black tank top. Lately, you’ve been sleeping completely naked, but that was obviously not an option here. 

Sarah finally leaves the bathroom as soon as Joel slides his pants up. She has her hair wrapped in a towel, which makes you smile. She looked so grown up, it’s hard to believe you met her when she was 6 years old. You wordlessly walk into the bathroom, beginning to change your outfit for your sleep wear. You splash some cold water on your face, your cheeks still blushed from seeing Joel shirtless. 

You hear the door outside open and close. You peak out, your traveling clothes wrapped up in your arms. Joel stands in the middle of the room, fiddling with the remote for the TV. 

“Where did Sarah go?” You question, packing your clothes back into your duffle. 

“She wanted to go get ice from the ice machine,” He grumbles, “Said she wanted to see if any of her teammates were awake or nearby.”

“Is her whole team staying here?”

“Yeah, pretty much every team gets a floor. Last year it was a like a huge sleepover. Fuckin’ nightmare,” Joel mutters, flicking through different channels, before landing on some westerns. You smirk, deciding to plop down on one of the beds. As soon as you lay back, Sarah comes back in, bucket in hand. 

“Can I go stay in Amelia’s room? Her mom is there, just two doors down.”

Well that solves the bed problem. 

Joel rolls his eyes, you can tell he’s already annoyed. “Is Amelia’s mom okay with that?”

“You want to go talk to her? I promise Dad, we will get up at 5:30 like we need to. Pleas-”

“Let’s go talk to Amelia’s mom.”

You hear them leave the room without saying anything else. 

You were tired from a long day at work and the long drive. But some excitement blooms in your stomach when you realize it may just be you and Joel, all alone in a hotel room. 

Before you have time to ponder all the wonders that may be in store for you, Joel comes back with a frustrated huff. 

“She staying over there?”

“Yeah, Amelia’s mom said it was fine. Then she started askin’ who you were. Guess they saw us in the hotel lobby.”

Your stomach twists, nervous at what his response was.

“And?”

“Told her you were Sarah’s aunt. She gave me a weird look.”

“Great, now the soccer mom’s will be oogling me tomorrow.”

“Well they will anyway,” Joel responds, finding a spot next to you on the edge of the bed, “Single ones won’t leave me alone.” 

You know he’s really just seeing if you’ll get jealous. But you don’t play into his little game. You just let out a loud hearty laugh. 

“The ladies just love a Miller.”

He grumbles something inaudible, nudging you with his elbow. “You do, don’t ya?”

“Sure do.”

His face softens, his eyes flicking down to your lips. 

You grin, “She’s 14 and super goofy. Loves to play socc-”

“You’re truly testin’ me today, ain’t ya?”

You can’t help yourself at that point. The way he’s flirting only gives you more reason to taunt him. 

“Is Sarah seriously going to be gone from the room all night?”

“Yeah,” He nods, leaning back on his palms. He acts like he’s watching TV, ignoring your not-so-subtle hints that you want his eyes on you. 

“So, I can finally ask you why you think it’s okay to tease me in the car?”

“Don’t know what you’re on about, darlin’,” He smirks, he knows.

You tilt your head to the side, finally lifting your hand onto his lap. You immediately start toying with him the same way, your hand creeping towards his crotch. His eyes peel away from the TV. He watches you closely, his eyes trailing from your gaze down to your fingers dancing on his pant leg. 

“You put your hand on my thigh and started inching closer and cl-“

“Are you tryin’ to make a point or pose a question?”

He was getting annoyed with the games already. But you’d only just begun. 

“I’m just trying to explain how you can’t do things like that to me in front of Sarah,” You remark, flicking your eyelashes up to his glare, “Especially when you can’t finish it.”

“Who said I ain’t gonna?”

You huff, “Well here we are, all alone in a hotel room. No kiddo in sight. Still not touching me.”

“Don’t think you deserve it cause you’re a tease.”

“How am I a tease, Miller?”

“You exist and that’s enough. Walkin’ around in a tank top,” He gestures to your chest, “Just beggin’ to be touched.”

Your skin is set alight. The words go straight to your core. 

“Joel-“

You’re cut off. His hands work quickly, pulling you by the nape of your neck, right to his eager lips. You begin to realize you had been longing for this moment for so long. He couldn’t resist anymore, his whole body buzzing at the fact that he finally has you again. 

His lips are soft and slow as they make their way around yours. His hands eventually trail down to your butt, his hands cradling both cheeks. He lifts you forward, sliding you up and onto his lap. 

“Been wantin’ this for months, baby.” 

Butterflies erupt in the pit of your tummy. You can feel them travel up to your chest as you look down at him, his eyelids heavy and his lips pursed.  

He waited for you to respond to his calls, knowing you needed time. He needed to be patient. You would come around, he knew it. After months, here you are. 

He thinks back to every time he was touching himself late at night, he would imagine the night you two shared. Your soft curves and needy dripping pussy. It drove him wild imagining you like this again. 

“I think it’s been more than wantin’, Joel,” You grind down on his prominent bulge growing in his sweatpants, “Think you need it.”

He grins, finally getting out of his own head.

“Such a little tease, damn it.”

You lean down, mindlessly speckling kisses behind his ear and neck. Your boobs rest right in front of his face, and you’re right, he needs it. His hands leave your behind, reaching up to the straps of your tank top. He tugs them down your biceps, allowing your cleavage to spill out more. 

Your hands find his dark peppered curls at the nape of his neck, pulling downward. You needed him closer and he obliged. He starts to kiss your collarbones, wandering down to the swell of your breasts. You can feel yourself staining your sports shorts with anticipation. 

You rock your hips, craving more. He takes the hint, reaching back down to lift you from your ass. He switches spots, laying you on your back on the plush white duvet. He’s leaning over you now, which gives you a great view of how spent he looks already. His gray sweatpants are hanging lower, tenting where his cock has grown hard. 

He smirks, taking off his shirt the same way he did earlier. With one hand, it slips right over his head and onto the floor. 

“Jesus,” You huff out, using the time to remove your top, “I need you, Joel.”

The smirk never leaves his lips. He leans down, pushing your legs apart with his pointer and middle finger. You open up for him, wanting nothing more for him to dive into you in every possible way. You watch as he slides his fingers up your thigh, past the openings of your shorts. 

He realizes you aren’t wearing underwear. He sighs as he swipes the pads of his fingers across your wet slit. 

“I know you do,” He drawls, watching you writhe under his touch, “You need me as much as I need you.”

He practically tears off your shorts, not wasting any time fighting with the fabric. 

You adjust how your laying to accommodate him laying between your thighs. He lays down on his stomach, bringing your hips close to his mouth. You watch as he kisses your inner thighs, his breath hot fanning against your skin. 

You remember the last time you were in this position. You spent night after night remembering the best head you’ve ever gotten, from the one and only, Joel Miller. And you could tell Joel was not going to go another moment without making you cum on his tongue. 

When his tongue hits the top of your slit, you whine at the contact. He presses his face in, diving deeping into your lips. As soon as he finds your clit, he puts all his attention there. His nose is pressed against your mound as he hums against your sensitive bud. 

“Joel,” You cry, reaching down between your legs to grab the crown of his head, your hands lacing into his locks, “Right fuckin’ there.”

He continues his movements, only increasing in speed in which he flicks his tongue. He wraps his lips over the swollen area, sucking and lapping your sweetness. He pulls away, the slick between your thighs missing him instantly. He brings his fingers up to his mouth and wets them with saliva. He glances up at your completely dazed face. 

“‘M gonna fuck you with my fingers first,” His voice is deep and hushed, “Make you cum. You gonna cum for me like a good girl?”

You don’t even know where it comes from. But you say it with your chest.

“Yes, Daddy.”

You never expected the moan to come out of his mouth. It’s deep and guttural. He couldn’t believe his ears, and he can’t believe the words came from your mouth. His good girl? That fuckin’ flithy?

He slips his fingers into you without resistance. His mouth finds it’s way back to your core, fucking you in unison. 

You reach up to your chest, cradling your own boobs. Joel’s still only in sweatpants but they are riding low on his hips. As he’s giving you his all, he’s grinding his hips into the bed, trying to get whatever friction he can. Watching the motion alone is driving you wild, sending your hips rotating on his tongue. You knew the release was coming, you could feel it in your fingertips. 

And when it comes, it’s like fireworks inside your stomach and chest. You lurch forward, crying out his name. You knew it was probably way too loud for the thin hotel walls, but you couldn’t help yourself. The orgasm sends stars speckling across your vision. 

Joel fucks you through the comedown. You are the hottest thing he’s ever laid eyes on, he thinks. When your body rests back, you’re panting, trying to ground yourself for a second. Joel pulls his fingers out and sucks each digit. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” You mewl, reaching out for him. You just need to touch him. 

He shimmies his sweatpants down and off his legs. He’s sitting back on his knees, smiling down at your desperate eyes. He crawls on top of you, his dick prodding at your thighs. He leans down, trapping your lips into another longing kiss. His hands trail down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He pulls back after a couple seconds, gazing into your eyes. 

“You still on that birth control?”

You hum in response. 

“Need me to pull out still?”

You smirk, lacing your arms around his shoulders, “No. Need you to cum inside me.”

He shakes his head, sitting back to line himself with your entrance.

“My dirty girl,” He runs his cock head between your swollen red lips, triggering your hips to move closer to him, “You drive me insane.”

“Come on, Joel. I’ve been waiting for ages for you to fuck me. Need you. Now.”

He chuckles darkly, still not giving you what you want. “Waiting ages, huh?”

“Joelllll,” You beg, smacking his chest, “Please.”

“Mmm,” He pushes forward just enough to relieve your ache, “Love it when you beg for it.”

He practically splits you open when he snaps his hips. You both groan simultaneously, unable to hold back this sick fantasy you’re both playing into. You feel more full than you ever did before. You don’t remember it hurting this good. 

“Holy fuck,” you whine, “So fucking full, Joel.”

He slowly pulls back, “You tell me if it’s too much, ‘kay?”

You shake your head, throwing your head back as he sets a cautious pace. He’s watching all your facial expressions, making sure he’s not hurting you. You wince when he starts to pick up the pace, which causes him to halt completely. 

“No,” You plead, “More. Faster. Please, just please.”

He says nothing, just pushes up your thighs so the back of them are flush with the front of his. He leans over you, his elbows on each side of your head. He grinds into you while his dark curls fall into your face. You tilt your head up, finding the crook of his neck again. 

His cock felt so good dragging in out of you. You felt like you could stay in this position forever. You molded so perfectly around him. He treated you like this beautiful mural, taking his time with delicate strokes. His hands wrapped around the back of your head, holding you in the curve of his body.

You latch your lips onto his neck, peppering lovebites everywhere. You didn’t even think about if they could be seen later. In the moment, you only thought of him as yours. He was yours and everyone would fucking know it. 

He’s starting to get more greedy. He pulls back, his warmth moving away from your perked up nipples. His upper body the best view you could get, so you couldn’t complain too much. He grabs behind your knees, using them as leverage as he starts to pound into you. 

Your eyes meet and for fuck’s sake, he’s perfect. You never knew you could see Joel Miller like this. Like someone who fucked you so good, but also cared so tenderly for you. He wanted to see you in the throws of pleasure, not even worrying about when he’d get his rocks off. He got his rise out of seeing how much you enjoyed yourself.

His ravenous drive to bring you to the edge is causing the headboard to slam against the wall which each stroke. He brings his left hand up to your bouncing tits, grabbing your nipple and tugging on it. He knew what touching your boobs did to you. He remembers watching your visceral reactions to him toying with them before. It brings a smile to his face. 

“I’m gonna-”

You don’t even finish your sentence, you just gasp as you feel his cock head hit the deepest parts of you. A place no other man has made it to. 

“I don’t want anyone else,” He musters out, his teeth clenching as your pussy restricts around him. He means it. He may be drunk on you, but he feels those words down to his bones. “I only ever want this.”

It was never just about the sex. Joel cared for you. Fuck, maybe he even loved you. 

You swallow, propping yourself up on your elbows. You glance down, watching his cock slip so perfectly, in and out of you. 

“I’m yours, Joel,” You manage to peep out before the orgasm you’ve been holding back builds to a maddening point, “I’m yours.”

The words make his cock twitch. He can’t help himself, he needs you to cum right this very moment. He doesn’t say anything, just unhooks your legs and uses his right hand to put pressure on your clit. Tears start to prick in your eyes as he lazily rubs circles, humming in satisfaction. He feels you tightening up, he knows your close. 

Your vision goes white. You body starts to vibrate, the pure bliss he’s sending you into takes you to a whole other dimension. You want more. More. More. More. 

As he watches you seize up, he can’t resist his own orgasm. The explosion sends him into a moaning mess. He fucks into you, painting your walls with his cum, not letting a drop go to waste. 

He collapses on top of you. You don’t even care, you feel like jello anyway, he could melt right into you.

He rolls off after a minute. 

You always miss him when he’s not near you. 

You stare at the ceiling, pondering the right words to say to him. Nothing comes to mind. He gets up, walking naked to the bathroom. He grabs a rag from the shelf above the toilet, running it under some warm water. 

When he returns, you let him clean all around your body. You make sure he doesn’t wipe away the wet kisses he left all over you, though. 

“You okay?”

You finally look at him. 

You want to say yes, because you were okay. Physically. But your heart wanted to pulsate out of your chest. 

“I will be,” You state simply, “Just tired.”

He slowly starts grabbing all your articles of clothing off the floor, dressing you once he collects all of them. He’s careful with you. Gentle. 

“Do you want to sleep in the same bed?”

The question rings in your ears. Of course you did. 

“As long as you get up at the ass crack of dawn and move before Sarah comes in.”

He chuckles, pulling his sweatpants back over his waist. He doesn’t even bother to put on his shirt.

“Will do, baby.”

-

When you wake up, you realize the overheard light flickered on. You contort your sleep dazed body, Joel’s upper body practically laying over you. You try to blink the haze out of your eyes, but your tired mind is completely shocked when you see an outline of a girl. 

Shitshitshitshitshit.

You fling your body upward, rattling Joel awake. He’s startled, his arms flinging off of you. 

“I knew it!” Her voice is piercing. “I knew it! Holy shit!”

“Sar-”

“Are you two dating? Or are you just… wait, ew!”

She’s rambling, her words clashing together in confusion. Your heart is about to hammer out of your chest. 

“Sarah, we aren’t dating,” You declare, your voice shaking. 

“But you’re sleeping together?”

You could cut the silence with a sword. It’s so thick and awkward. 

A 14 year old girl shouldn’t know you’re sleeping with her Dad. Let alone walk in after you spent all night tangled up in him. 

“Sarah,” Joel’s voice is buttery and raspy after he wakes up. You hold the comforter up to your chest. You had your tank top on, but it hangs so low on you, you don’t want to risk anything. “Grab your uniform, get dressed. We can talk about this later.”

“Does Uncle To-”

“Sarah! Stop!”

It scares you since it’s so close to your ear. His voice changes so abruptly, it makes you cringe a bit. 

Hearing the question from Sarah’s lips makes you feel queasy. Having the girl who you always considered your niece ask if her uncle knew you were sleeping with her dad... God what a fucking mess. 

You watch her storm across the room, grabbing her backpack and race to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. 

Joel groans next to you as he slams back into the plush pillows. 

“She will be fine. We will talk about it later,” Joel says under his breath. 

You open your mouth but nothing comes out. 

You hadn’t thought much of this through. Ever since you and Joel first slept together, you pushed your harbored feelings to the side. Sometimes they creep in, which would send you into a panic. Because deep down, you knew you felt something for Joel. Something you hadn’t felt since you first started dating Tommy. Maybe even ever. It was exciting. He made you feel special. After everything he said to you last night, you knew he possessed some similar emotions and feelings.  

You felt crazy for believing this could work. 

You knew this would be complicated. Now Sarah is involved. How do you explain these emotions to a child? You don’t. 

You think about all the horrible outcomes to this situation. Tommy wanting to fight Joel. His mom never accepting you back into the family. Who knows, maybe Sarah gets so upset at the situation, she never treats you the same again. 

But then you think about Joel. How he’s a night and day difference to what Tommy was to you. He wore his emotions on his sleeve. He wanted to protect you. He wanted to take care of you every chance he could. 

You start to think back to the times when you were still with Tommy. Joel defended you when you two had a blowout fight. He always made sure to have a watchful eye on you when you all went out to bars. He was even there when you graduated college, giving you a bouquet of beautiful daises he swore up and down Sarah picked out. But you knew the truth. Joel loved daisies. He even had his Mom plant some in his front yard last year. 

You were just so scared. You didn’t want to be hurt again. You did not want your feelings to be wrong. 

You glance down at him, your back still turned. He could read your face, he knew you were overthinking everything. Your mind was working overtime, trying to muster up some excuse to run away and forget everything that happened between you two. There was nothing normal about this situation. 

But fuck, you both really wanted it. So bad. You couldn’t keep lying to yourself. 

His hand creeps up your back, resting a reassuring palm on your aching shoulder. 

“Stop thinkin’ for a minute,” he whispers, “You don’t need to make any decisions right this minute. We will just take it one second at a time. Ain’t no way ‘m lettin’ you go. I want you here.”

You didn’t know if he meant here in general or in the figurative sense. 

He meant it both ways. 

Maybe it was crazy, but that feeling was deep in your chest. This palpable inkling that this could evolve into you being his. 

This being more than sex? More than a crush?

Being Joel’s sounded like a fever dream.

He wanted nothing more but to wrap you up into his arms, hold you and kiss your head, reassuring you that you two can figure it out together. But instead, Sarah walks out in her soccer uniform, squashing the moment. She stands in front of the bed, finally making eye contact with you. 

“You guys gonna get up and watch me kick ass, or are you gonna to lay in bed all day?”

You smile at her. You silently prayed this girl would stay in your life forever.

“I know my answer.”

Joel smiles, “’s go kick some ass.”

-

again thank you for reading!! let me know your thoughts!

find part 1 and 2 here!

#how long #joel miller smut #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller the last of us #the last of us #pedro pascal #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #gracieheartspedro #joel miller tlou #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #joel tlou #tommy miller #joel last of us smut #joel the last of us #tlou gifs

[inthe-dark-tonight]

Whatever’s on Tonight

joel miller x fem!reader

part 2

summary: a weekend in the desert is anything but lonely with joel miller around

word count: 2.8k

warnings: 18+ (mdni), no outbreak AU, established relationship, no mention of age difference, fluff, unsafe p in v, creampie, swearing, dirty talk, alcohol consumption, hot tub sex with joel miller ;)

notes: came up with this idea while listening to the next best american record by lana del rey <3 i wrote this all last night and barely looked it over so sorry about any mistakes and thank you for reading!!

Whatever's on tonight // I just wanna party with you // Topanga's hot tonight // I'm takin' off my bathing suit // You made me feel like.., // There's somethin' that I never knew−I wanted

You and Joel decided to rent a bungalow outside of big bend national park for the weekend, somewhere you can both relax and disconnect. It was a last minute decision, you can’t even remember the last time the two of you got a chance to do something like this. You made sure to book a place that was a little more secluded so you could enjoy the peacefulness of the desert, and having a hot tub to relax was a necessity.

You both took a half day at work, packed up the truck then headed out. It was nearly a 7 hour drive, you spent the time talking and listened to music while looking at the scenery to pass the time. About half way through your trip you stopped at a little diner to have dinner, then got back on the road.

As you get closer to the bungalow the two of you are staying in, you begin to feel more excited about the little get away. As Joel drives down the winding desert road leading to the house, the sky is fading into a dark blue shade, dusk slowly taking over. You look over at Joel as he drives, the silhouette of his side profile made more prominent by the fading light behind him. A smile grows on your face as your eyes trail over his features.

“What?” He smirks and glances at you for a second before looking back to the road.

You shake your head. “Nothing,” you break into a smile. “Just excited that’s all.”

He takes one hand off the steering wheel to find yours on your lap and intertwines his fingers with yours, squeezing lightly. You sit in silence until he’s parked in front of the bungalow, only letting go of your hand to get out of the car.

“Here we are.” He gives you a content look as you both unbuckle your seatbelts and climb out of the car.

You stop for a second after closing the passenger door staring up at sky in awe, now filled with stars as the moon takes the suns place in the night sky. Joel comes up behind you, wrapping his large arms around your waist. You rest your arms on top of his and lay your head back onto his shoulder, eyes never leaving the sky.

“Beautiful” He whispers, leaving a soft kiss on your cheek.

“Mhm” You hum, unaware that he was talking about you.

“Let’s bring our stuff in.” His voice is soft, you turn your head to look up at him and his lips immediately meet yours in a gentle kiss.

You let out a sigh before he moves to unpack the truck, hands lingering on your hips for a short moment. You help him grab a few things before the two of you walk up to the house. Joel sets down his bag while he fiddles with the lock box that holds the key for a minute, and you can’t help but laugh.

Once he finally unlocks the door, you walk in and the space is beautiful, a small kitchen lined with floor to ceiling windows that leads into a cozy living room. You set down your bags to take a look around, the home is mid century style and it’s exactly what you hoped for when you booked it. You walk to the other side of the living room and find another wall filled with floor to ceiling windows, a small bathroom, and a door that leads to the bedroom.

Joel trails behind you as you enter the room, a large king size bed facing a sliding glass door that leads to the patio and hot tub, and a bathroom with a huge walk-in glass shower across from a vanity with a giant wall to wall mirror. You turn around and walk over to Joel, a thrilled smile on your face as you jump up and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Woah there.” He chuckles and wraps his arms around you, squeezing tight as he buries his face in your neck.

“Sorry, I’m excited.” Your voice is muffled as you nuzzle into him.

He pulls back from you, planting his hands on your hips and kissing the tip of your nose.

“How ‘bout I grab us some drinks and we go out back?” He’s resting his forehead against yours now.

“Only if you go in the hot tub with me.” You give him a playful look.

“Whatever you want, baby. We’re here to relax.” He squeezes your waist before turning around to head for the kitchen.

You grab your bag from the living room and dig around for your bathing suit and snag a shirt from Joel’s bag to slip over it. As you’re putting on your bathing suit, you hear music coming from the living room. You tie your bathing suit top as quickly as you can and throw on Joel’s shirt before walking towards the music.

You see Joel in the corner messing with an old radio, switching through the staticky channels until he stops on one that’s coming through mostly clear. You recognize the song that’s coming through the speakers, and he turns around setting his beer on the coffee table before walking over to you.

Anyone who’s ever had a heart

Wouldn’t turn around and break it

He grabs your hips pulling you into him, hands resting on the small of your back as he holds you close. You rest both your hands on his shoulders.

“Dance with me.” He whispers before starting to sway back and forth.

You move your hands up to wrap around his neck,and rest your head on his shoulder, listening to his heart beat as you sway back and forth with him. Your eyes close, getting lost in the moment just feeling his warm chest move under you with each breath. As you sway back and forth, you lift your head to look up at him and rest your hands on his chest. His nose gently brushes against yours as he stares at you with heavy lidded eyes.

Heavenly wine and roses

Seem to whisper to me when you smile

Joel spins you around causing you to let out a laugh before pulling you back in, his lips meeting with yours in a feverish kiss. One of his hands moves up to cup your cheek, pulling you closer as he lets out a content sigh.

Sweet Jane

Oh sweet, sweet Jane

He breaks the kiss still holding you close, eyes locked on yours as he continues to sway with you until the end of the song. He gently tucks a hair behind your ear before breaking the silence.

“Let me get changed and I’ll meet you outside.” He whispers to you, and you nod in agreement.

He plants one last gentle kiss on your lips before you walk to the bedroom and open the sliding door to the deck. When you step outside it’s a bit chilly, you quickly remove the cover from the hot tub and dip your hand into the warm water. When you look up towards the sliding glass door you see the silhouette of Joel’s broad frame in the dim light of the room as he walks towards the door. He’s holding two beers in his hand when he steps out, his eyes meet yours before closing the door.

You stand there with your hand in the water still as he sets the beers on the edge of the hot tub. He walks over to you and you turn around, leaning up against the hot tub facing him. Your eyes roam over his exposed chest and shoulders as he saunters towards you wearing a pair of dark blue swim trunks that hang dangerously low on his waist. He reaches out to grab the hem of the shirt you’re wearing, knuckles skimming the skin on your thighs as he slowly lifts it. You raise your arms allowing him to remove it before throwing it off to the side somewhere, leaving you in just your black bathing suit. His warm hands run up and down your sides caressing your soft skin as his eyes roam over your body.

“You’re heavenly.” He squeezes your hips, shaking his head in disbelief.

You rest your hands on his stomach right above the hem of his swim trunks, he sucks in a deep breath as you slowly move your hands up his soft stomach, over his chest and rest them on his solid shoulders. His hands move to squeeze your ass and you let out a small yelp causing Joel to chuckle.

“Very funny,” you roll your eyes giving him a playful smile as you grab his hand. “C’mon.”

You pull him along as you walk towards the steps to get in the hot tub. As you climb in, he rests his hand on your lower back. Once you're sitting he climbs in after you letting out a low groan as he sinks into the warm water. He grabs the beers from the ledge of the hot tub and hands you one, eyes staying locked on you as he takes a sip of his own. You’re sitting across from him, watching him as you sink further down into the water. He rests his arm over the edge of the hot tub holding his beer, and runs his other hand through his hair dampening it slightly.

“C’mere baby.” He sets his beer down and sits up straight.

You push yourself off the edge of your seat and swiftly lift yourself to straddle his lap, your drink forgotten on the other side of the hot tub. You settle in his lap, hands resting on the sides of his neck as he looks up at you. He trails his warm hands lightly up and down your back, causing goosebumps to form all over your damp skin.

“Joel…” you breathe out, rolling your hips into his.

“Goddamn.” He lets out a low moan.

You lightly pull at the hair on the back of his neck causing him to close his eyes for a moment, tongue sticking out to wet his lips. You can feel his hardening length start to grow beneath you, and when he opens his eyes again they’re immediately glued to your chest.

As his warm breath fans across your skin you move one of your hands to find the tie on the back of your bikini, pulling at the string once you find it. Your bathing suit top loosens and his eyes widen, darting up to yours. Then you move both your hands to the tie at your neck, pulling it loose and letting your top fall into the water before placing your hands on the ledge behind him. You can feel Joel’s fully hardened cock underneath you now as he takes in the sight of your bare chest.

“Fuck.” His hips lift and you press yourself into him.

���Like what you see?” You grind your hips into his again.

He looks up at you with wide eyes and a slack jaw as he nods in agreement. You grab his hands from your hips and lift them up to your tits, his eyes falling back to your chest. Your hands cover his as he lightly squeezes and kneads them while you continue to roll your hips into him.

“So pretty.” He hums.

You let out a small moan and his eyes turn dark as they snap up to yours. You remove your hands from his and slowly move yourself back, reaching into the water for his swim trunks. He sees what you’re doing and lifts his hips up as you pull them down, exposing his fully hardened cock.

He removes his hands from your breast to untie the strings on the bottoms of your bikini, pulling them out from under you and tossing them to the other side of the hot tub causing the water to slightly splash on you. You flinch and let out a small shout, leaning into Joel.

“Sorry” he says between laughs.

You wrap your arms around his solid form, laying your bare chest against his before meeting his lips with a passionate kiss. A long sigh leaves you lips as your body relaxes into him. His hard length is flush against your folds, tip nudging at your clit as you slowly thrust against him.

You’re breathing heavily as you break the kiss. “Need you.” It comes out quiet and soft.

“I’m all yours baby.” He grabs your face, placing his lips on yours again.

You slowly lift your hips until you feel his tip catch at your entrance, causing him to let out a low moan that vibrates through your chest. Joel slips his tongue past your lips deepening the kiss as you start to slowly sink down onto his cock. You remove your lips from his and let out another soft moan.

“Oh my god Joel, feels so good.” You mumble against his lips, nose nudging against his.

He’s speechless, both hands on your face as he looks up at you. You slowly move yourself up and down on his cock at a steady pace, just taking in the way he feels slowly stretching you. You tug at his hair causing his head to tilt up towards you more, and that sets something off in him.

He lets out a low growl before lifting you up off of him, spinning you around so your back is to him. Then he starts gently pushing you to the other side of the hot tub, his hands rest on your hips as you settle on your knees and your hands grip the ledge. Seconds later he’s thrusting his cock back into you, causing your body to jolt forward as you let out a gasp.

His pace starts out slow as he trails kisses down your bare back and shoulders. Then he starts to pick up his pace resting one of his hands over yours, the other on your hip as his broad frame leans over you. You turn your head to get a glimpse of him, and he leans forward, removing his hand from yours to grab your jaw as he kisses you.

“Take me so well baby.” He hums as his pace quickens.

Heat is building in your stomach, ready to snap at any second. His hand on your hip moves to wrap around you, holding you flush against him.

“I’m close.” It comes out barely audible.

The hand that’s holding your chin moves to rest on your shoulder as he lets out low grunts into the side of your neck, leaving hot kisses on your skin.

“Let me feel you, sweet thing.” He whispers into your ear, his deep voice making you shudder.

It’s enough to make the coil in your stomach finally snap, eyes fluttering shut as your walls clench around him. He lets out a groan as he fucks you through your orgasm, your name falling from his lips in low moans as his pace starts to faulter. He starts to pull out and you quickly grab his hand that’s resting on your shoulder, stopping him.

“Inside Joel,” You let out a breath. “Please.”

He slows down and plants both his hands on your hips, your words were enough to send him over the edge as he releases himself into you. A whimper leaves your mouth as you feel his warm load coat your walls. His forehead rests on your shoulder as he comes down from his high, breathing heavily while trying to catch his breath.

“Fuck, baby.” He leaves a soft kiss on your shoulder before pulling out of you with a low hiss.

After a moment Joel sits up and turns his body towards you, one hand resting on your inner thigh, the other draped along the edge of the hot tub. You sit up a little and your eyes meet his.

Both of his hands move to rest on on your cheeks, caressing your soft skin with his thumbs as you wrap your arms around his neck. He leans in to kiss you again, deep and slow as your lips move in sync. He breaks this kiss too soon leaning his forehead against yours, eyes closed and he takes in a deep breath. You keep your eyes closed, carding your fingers through his hair as you take in this moment.

Your chest swells, as you open your eyes you find him peering at you through heavy lidded eyes.

“Joel…”

“It’s true, all the roads lead to you. Everything I want and do.” He takes a deep breath.

Your hands rest on his broad shoulders as you brush your lips against his, taking in what he just confessed to you.

“I love you.” It’s barely audible, lower than a whisper.

Your lips fully meet with his and he grabs your legs to swing them over his lap, lips still attached to yours.

“I love you too.” He nuzzles his nose against your cheek.

You curl up closer to him, laying your head on his shoulder. His large hand runs up and down your back as you both sit there taking in the moment, listening to each other's breathing and the faint noises of the night.

tagging a few moots <3

@sscorpiiio @gracieheartsspedro @ilovepedro @pedrospartner @joelsversion @javiscigarette @jenispunk @beskarandblasters @tinygarbage @shatteredbaby @nostalxgic @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @isitmeulookin4

thanks for reading 🤍 and thank you @pr0ximamidnight for letting me ramble and send updates ily AND thank you for the summary 🫡

thinking about a part 2 also if anyone’s interested 👀 my asks box is open to chat!

#joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #soft!joel miller #joel miller #joel miller fic #couldn’t stop thinking about hot tub sex with joel

[finnsbubblegum]

I Don’t Deserve You {Part 2} (Joel Miller x Reader)

Pairing: post-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, protective joel, age gap (reader is in her 20s and Joel is in his 50s), stalking, sexual assault attempt (lmk if i missed any)

Summary: You were popular in Jackson but you have been single your whole life. Despite many men flirting with you, you have never found your ideal type. Until one day, you saw Joel and you fell in love at first sight.  But he felt insecure.

Words count: 2.9k 

A/N: This is part 2 for I Don’t Deserve You Part 1. Thank you to everyone who read my fanfic! 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

It was a usual Monday after the night Joel saved you from Josh. You woke up early and got ready to work and meet your students. 

“Good morning, kids! How was your weekend?” You asked the students with a soft tone.

“I watched a movie with my dad last night!” A girl shouted.

“It was my birthday yesterday!” Another girl shouted.

They were active and you were always happy to listen to their stories. Their stories were always interesting to you. You loved how children were so pure and innocent. 

“Oh really? Well, happy birthday to you! Why don’t we all sing happy birthday to Samantha?” 

You invited the other students to sing the Happy Birthday song for Samantha. Each of the students followed your clap and sang the Happy Birthday song together. The day went and it was already time for the class to be dismissed. 

“Okay everyone! Class is dismissed! Don’t forget to do your homework!”

Everyone was packing their bags hurriedly and you glanced at the door. The door had a rectangle transparent glass and you saw Joel. When he caught your eye, he quickly hid. You found him so cute and felt butterflies in your stomach. It felt like you were in your teenage years all over again. You shook your head and smiled. The kids were starting to leave one by one and you began to pack your stuff on the table. 

“I saw you there Joel.” You teased Joel who was still hiding.

“Uhm.. Sorry.” He slowly walked inside the class and cleared his throat.

“You caught me.” He smiled shyly and put his hand on the nape of his neck.

“Are you stalking me now?” You joked.

“Absolutely not. I was just around and thought I’d stop by to see how you’re teaching the kids. Hope you didn’t teach them curse words.” He joked remembering his last joke at the bar that was cut off by Josh’s appearance.

“Of course not.” You scoffed and slightly hit his chest. 

“Are you heading home now?” Joel put his hands on his waist.

“Yes, all the kids have gone home so I should go home now.”

“I’ll walk you home.” Joel gestured a movement from his hands as if he was asking you to follow him.

“Sure. Thank you.” You grabbed your purse and jacket.

Joel wasn’t actually around the area. He was not patrolling that day and couldn’t keep thinking about last night. He was worried that Josh might come to you and bother you again. After thinking about it for a few hours, he decided to visit you at school and walk you home. He thought that it was the least thing he could do to protect you. Without realizing it, he was starting to have feelings towards you. 

“Do you want to come in and have dinner with me tonight? I can cook something for us.” You hoped Joel would say yes before you got in your house.

“Sure. Ellie is making friends now so she often stays out late.” 

“Great. Come in.” You welcomed Joel.

You hung your jacket and Joel did the same. 

“Please make yourself at home while I cook dinner.” You smiled at Joel.

Joel nodded and sat on the sofa in your living room. You walked to your kitchen, opened your fridge and took out some ingredients. 

“Can I help you with somethin’?” Joel suddenly stood up and walked towards you.

“No, no. I’m good. Let me serve you dinner tonight.” Joel was your guest so you wanted to serve him.

“Okay.” Joel walked away and started to look around your house.

“You have a lot of books.” Joel stopped at your bookshelf.

“Oh, yes. I love to read. I’m a teacher.” You laughed.

“Right.” Joel chuckled.

After a few moments of banter while you were preparing dinner, you were finally done.

“Dinner’s ready.” You called for Joel.

He looked back from the sofa and hurried his way to the dining table.

“Smells good.” He sniffed.

You both started eating. You were nervous because you were scared Joel might not like your cooking. And your legs were shaking under the table.

“Hmm.. It’s delicious. Thank you.” Joel praised your food.

“Phew.. I was scared you didn’t like it.” You sighed.

“Are you kidding? This is the best meal I’ve ever had in the past 20 years.” He chuckled as he shoved another spoonful of your cooking.

“Thank you, Joel. You’re really sweet.” You were touched hearing his words.

The two of you had conversations as you finished your dinner. 

“Let me wash the dishes. You cooked so I will wash the dishes.” Joel offered.

“Sure.” You gave your dishes to Joel.

You watched him from behind and got lost in your fantasy. You were imagining a life where you and Joel lived under the same roof as family. And you were the wife making dinner for your husband when he got off from work. He looked dashing from behind and his shoulder was broad. You imagined how it would feel kissing him. But you didn’t want to rush so you had to hold yourself. You hit your head and got back to reality. 

“Done.” Joel wiped his hands with a towel.

“Thank you, Joel. For washing the dishes.” 

“It’s nothin’. You cooked for me so it’s fair if I wash the dishes.” He shook his head.

You wondered how a man like him treated you so nice. You kept wondering why he didn’t come into your life sooner. Then you remembered why. You were half his age. But you didn’t care. As long as he made you happy, you didn’t care about anything.

You and Joel spent a few hours hanging out at your house then it was time for him to go home.

“I should probably head home.” Joel looked at you.

“Yeah, sure. Thank you for walking me home today.”

“Anytime. Thank you for the meal. It was delicious.” Joel thanked you.

You chuckled as you walked him to your door and grabbed his jacket.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Joel raised his eyebrows.

“Sure. See you tomorrow.” You waved your hand goodbye to Joel.

The next day, Joel came and picked you up from work. He walked you home and had dinner with you for the second day, third day, fourth day, and it went on and on. Except when it was his turn to go on patrol, he couldn’t walk you home. But he would always tell you in advance if he couldn’t walk you home. 

Joel and you often hung out in the city as well. Since you got close with Joel, Josh had never shown up. He just stared at you from afar but he had never approached you. You even had less guys flirting with you. As time went by, people were starting to recognize your relationship with him. People were making rumors and talking about you and Joel. They were talking about how far your age gap was and how Joel didn’t deserve you. He was old and ruthless but you were young and kind. You didn’t care what anyone said. Joel had never hurt you, he was always respectful, he was definitely not like what other people said. As a matter of fact, Joel had never been kind to anyone but you. 

Your feelings towards Joel have grown deeper and deeper. On the other side, you had no idea how Joel felt towards you. Did he like you or did he just see you as a kid who needed protection? But you didn’t want this to end so you kept your feelings hidden until it was 2 months since you and Joel spent time together. You couldn’t hold your feelings hidden any longer.

It was another usual dinner with Joel. You watched him as he was walking outside your front porch. 

“Joel.” You stopped him before he walked his way home.

“Huh?” He raised his eyebrows and looked back.

“Can I ask you something?” You wiped your sweaty hands to your jeans.

“Sure. What is it?” He walked his way back to your porch where you were standing, resting his hands on the handrail.

“What are we, Joel? I mean - I - I like you, Joel.” You confessed your feelings to Joel and stepped closer to him.

Instead of telling you the way he felt about you, he took a step back. 

“No.” His voice was really low, he shook his head and looked down.

Your eyes were getting blurry as tears welled up in your eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” Joel quickly walked away from you.

“Joel.. Please..” You tried to stop him but you thought it was better to stay.

You were heartbroken. You went to your bedroom, covered your face with your pillow and cried all night.

On his way home, Joel was also heartbroken. He couldn’t see you cry like that, especially because of him. He regretted leaving you hanging like that. He wished he could hug you and comfort you. But he knew he shouldn’t. He had heard the rumors and he agreed to what people were saying. He regretted treating you nice if it would end up breaking your heart. He shouldn’t give you hope in the first place. Since then, Joel started avoiding you. He didn’t walk you home and didn’t have dinner with you. You and Joel ended just like that.

You hadn’t seen Joel since. Your days went so slow. Days felt weeks, weeks felt months, months felt years. It has been a month and you hated this feeling. You wanted closure so you decided to find Joel. You walked to his house and knocked on his door.

“Hi!” It was Ellie.

“Uhm.. Hi! Is Joel home?” You asked Ellie.

“Yeah! Joel! Someone’s here looking for you!” Ellie shouted and called Joel.

Joel made his way down stairs and his eyes widened when he saw you at his front door.

“We need to talk, please.” You begged Joel.

“Okay.” Joel gestured to Ellie to go, he closed the door and invited you to sit on the patio chairs at his front porch.

You sat with him but he didn’t say anything. So you started the conversation.

“Did I do something wrong, Joel?” You tried to find what was wrong to fix your relationship with him.

“No.” He replied coldly.

“It’s okay. Just tell me, Joel. Let me fix us.” You begged him.

“It’s not you. It’s me.” Joel wanted the best for you.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. What do you mean?” You were confused.

“I know you heard about the rumors. They were right. I don’t deserve you. I’m old. I’ve done bad things. I’ve killed people. And you’re young, beautiful…inside out, kind, perfect and everythin’. You deserve someone way better than me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started anythin’ with you. I realized I was crossin’ the line, that's why it’s better that I stopped before I hurt you more.” Joel put his elbow on his knees as he explained to you.

“That’s not right. I don’t care what people say, Joel. You treated me so nice. You’ve never hurt me. You protect me, Joel.” You shook your head in denial.

“Don’t you get it? I don’t deserve you.” Joel started to raise his voice.

“No, Joel. Please. Give me a chance. I can’t live without you. Please. Give us a chance.” You cried as you begged him.

Joel wanted to cry but he held it. He didn’t want to look weak. Instead he stood up and asked you to leave. 

“I promise I won’t see you again.” Joel’s words made your heart even wretched.

“Joel, please..don’t..Can you at least give me a hug as a goodbye? Please?” You grabbed his wrist.

Joel wanted to hug you. He really did. But it would just make him change his mind. If he hugged you, he might not be able to let you go. So he let go of your hand and walked inside his house. You cried so loud and kneeled in front of his door. Hoping for Joel to come out and change his mind, but a few hours went by and he didn’t appear. You were getting hopeless so you decided to go home. You cried on your walk and you didn’t realize someone was following you. You grabbed your keys and went inside your house. Someone was holding your door before you closed it. 

“Joel?” You hoped Joel was following you home.

“Nuh-uh baby. It’s me. Josh.” Josh smirked.

You gasped and started to shake. 

“Wh-what are you do-doing?” Josh could hear you were scared.

“I told you that old man is no good, baby. You should have been with me in the first place. I wouldn’t make you cry. I’m way better than him. That old man knows it. He really doesn’t deserve you. But I deserve you.” It turned out that Josh had been stalking you and he was eavesdropping your conversation with Joel.

“No. Josh. Please get out of my house.” You tried to act like you were not scared but he could see you were shaking.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. You’re mine now.” Josh claimed you as his because he knew Joel wouldn’t be there to protect you from him anymore.

“No, please go.” You walked backwards as he slowly walked towards you.

On the other side, Joel kept thinking about what he had said to you. He knew it was for the best but somehow he felt something weird in his heart. He guessed maybe he should have hugged you goodbye. He didn’t hear your cries anymore so he decided to walk to your house. He saw your door was left open and he heard a loud thud and your scream. Joel’s heart was beating faster as he rushed inside your house.

“Stay still!” Josh was on top of you, holding your hands, trying to take off your pants.

“Josh, stop it!” You tried to push Josh away but he was too heavy.

Joel’s eyes widened as he was shocked to see what was happening. He ran towards you, grabbed Josh from behind and threw him aside. Josh was hurting laying on the floor. Joel’s eyes locked on Josh and punched him over and over again. Josh’s face was full of blood and he was begging for Joel to stop. 

“Don’t you ever touch her again! You lay a hand on her again, I’ll break your arm!” Joel lifted Josh by his collar and yelled at his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Josh begged Joel for his life.

“Now get the fuck out of this house and never show your face again!” Joel pointed his finger towards the door as he raised his voice again.

Joel closed the door after Josh crawled his way out of your house. You were in shock, crying, hyperventilating, shaking, and holding your ripped shirt to cover yourself. You had never seen Joel like this before. He was scary when he was angry just like what other people in the town talked about.  

“Hey, are you okay?” Joel’s voice was different from seconds ago.

He sounded very soft. He took off his jacket and put it on you. 

“I got you, babygirl. I got you.” He looked at you with worried eyes. (TLOU ep 8 reference 😘)

He wiped your tears with his thumb and hugged you. His hands rubbed your back in circles until your breathing was normal again. 

“Can you stand?” He asked you.

You nodded and guided him to your bedroom. He kept holding your arm, holding your weight as you walked. You opened your closet to get new clothes and changed into a new one. Joel faced the wall as you changed your clothes. He was always respectful to you. Not like the other guys you had met.

“Here.” You gave Joel his jacket back.

“Do you want me to stay?” He thought he would stay for the night to make sure you were safe.

“Will you?” You asked Joel with your puppy eyes as you sat on the bed.

“Of course, darlin’. I don’t want Josh to come here again and hurt you.” Joel walked to your bedroom door.

“Where are you going? I thought you’re staying.” You were confused.

“I am. I’m sleepin’ on the couch.” 

You chuckled. Everytime he did or said something, you fell in love with him more.

“Joel, stay here.” You pat the empty space beside you on your bed.

“No. I shouldn’t.” He still kept his chivalry.

“Joel, please. I don’t think I can sleep if you’re not next to me. I feel safe when I’m with you. Please.” You begged Joel.

“Okay.” Joel shyly moved his way to your bed and laid beside you.

You moved closer to him, put your head on his chest, and rested your hands on his stomach. You could hear his heart beating faster and his body was stiff because of your movements. Joel took a deep breath and put his arms around you. He rubbed your back in circles.

“I’m sorry. I know I don’t deserve you. But can I get that chance for our relationship? Give me a chance to be better for you?” He rested his chin on your head.

“You should stop being insecure, Joel. You’re the best man I’ve ever met. All the guys who flirted with me.. They weren't like you. I know for a fact they only want to get in my pants. But you’re different. Am I right?” You caressed his chest.

“No. You’re wrong.” You were shocked by his joke and raised your head to face him.

“I’m joking. Relax.” He laughed.

“Don’t ever do that again.” You put your head back to his chest and hit his chest.

“Oh! You’re bleeding! We need to get your fist cleaned up!” You took his hands worriedly.

“Don’t worry, darlin’. I’ve been worse.” Joel chuckled and kissed your forehead.

“Okay, then.” You kissed his bleeding fist that saved you from Josh. 

The two of you spent the night cuddling, talking and getting to know each other. Joel told you about his past, Sarah, and Ellie as you drift into your sleep. 

To be continued...

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

#joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller one shot #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller x you #the last of us imagine #the last of us x reader #the last of us x you #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction

[hellishjoel]

burning desire

10.3k // pairing:dbf/neighbor!joel x f!reader

Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3

summary: An argument with your mother before family dinner leaves Joel worried about you. He sneaks you away to grab a drink and talk about what’s on your mind. 

warnings: MA 18+ (minors DNI), no outbreak, dbf/neighbor!joel, soft-hot-protective!joel, rocky mother-daughter relationship (this one ain't for the weak - mommy issues galore) & discussions of verbal fighting, slight clues of abandonment issues, smut, swearing, age gap (reader is in her early 20s, Joel in his 40s), pet names, praise!kink activated, unprotected p in v (yes finally, the edging is over), mentions of birth control,  slight cockwarming if you squint, slight degradation kink

A/N: I crave three things after writing this chapter: Joel, Joel Miller, Joel fucking Miller. Also, I’m almost done with The Last of Us Part 1 :(( sad that it’s ending, but it’s been so much fun to play! Enjoy this chapter <3 

Your parents make good on their invitation and ask Joel over for dinner. A steak dinner, to be exact. Paired with wine, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a pie your parents picked up from the local bakery in town. 

You sort of hope Joel pulls out his long list of excuses to evade any awkwardness. 

Sorry, can’t tonight. I’m finishin’ up somethin’ for work. Can’t wait another day. 

Or,

Hey, maybe another night. Not feelin’ too hot. 

When in reality, it’s more like, 

I can’t come over for dinner tonight because I might bend your daughter over my truck if I see her again. 

As active as you and Joel have been, you have yet to hit a home run in lewd baseball terms. In fact, all the bases in your and Joel’s game were totally screwed up. You hit third base before you hit first, and you weren’t even sure if there was a second base. It was all just so confusing now. 

But you wanted the home run, you wanted Joel, you desired him in that light. You wondered if he was ready for it. 

Screwed over by your father asking Joel over for dinner and screwed over by Joel agreeing, you had no other choice but to sit through it and act like everything was normal. 

And everything was normal for the first half of the day before you and your mother got into it. 

The argument was recycled. You wished she would come up with better material. But it always came down to what you wanted to do after this summer since you recently graduated. And that was an ongoing war. 

After two door slams, your mother retreating to her bunker, and you finding shelter in the bathroom, you’d say today’s battle was over. 

You sit on the floor, bare feet touching cold tile. In a way, it soothes your shaky body. 

No matter how old you get, this feeling never seems to waver with its intensity. The feeling that no one’s listening, no matter how hard you scream for them to hear you. Regardless of how often you have these conversations, you become a small child again, being scolded and told that what you thought and wanted wasn’t right. 

You managed to collect your journal expertly hidden in your bedroom before fleeing to the safety of the bathroom. You flip open the pages with teary eyes. 

You wish you didn’t have to admit that this was your safe space. On the bathroom floor, back flushed against the dark wood door as you closed your eyes and tried to calm your breathing. 

June 17th  2:28 P.M. 

Mom started a fight with me about not traveling again. She says it’s crucial for me to start my career immediately. I don’t even know what I want to be yet. 

You have to pause to blink back tears. You wish you had your life figured out like it felt everyone else did. 

Why does she have to care so much that I want to leave for a little bit? It’s not like it’s forever. There’s so much more out there. I’ve studied miscellaneous classes for four years and want a break. Why do we always have to have this conversation over and over again? She always asks how I will take care of student loans and bills. I have repeatedly told her that I’ve been saving up for a while to do this. She keeps saying she wants what’s best for me and doesn’t want me to start my career too late. She says it’s hard to let me go.

I love her, and I appreciate her support through school, but school is what taught me about independence as well as academics. I want to live my life and have experiences you can only get by leaving home for a little bit. Maybe then I’ll better understand what I want for my future. 

Your writing pauses, and you stare straight ahead at the beige wall, blurry eyes reading another cheesy sign. Bathroom - Open 24 Hours - Seat Yourself. 

You decide to spare a moment of your mother’s casualties and pencil in something else that’s been recently stirring. 

I’ve been seeing Joel Miller casually since the start of this summer. I can’t believe I’m even writing this. It’s weird -- but in a way, it’s also not? He’s older by like a mile, but he’s familiar, comfortable. Easy to talk to. It doesn’t feel like he’s judging me. I’m not trying to read too much into it, but this summer sucks less because of Joel. Whether he knows it or not. 

---

You and your mother work around each other while setting up dinner in the backyard garden. She steps back inside to grab more wine glasses. 

You’ve put on a nice summer dress. The hem lands somewhere on your thighs and flows with the breeze. After sobbing on the cold bathroom tile for an hour, you don't feel very pretty, but eating outside and soaking up some fresh air might make you feel better.

“Hey, sweetheart.” 

Joel Miller was the largest, broadest, lumberjack-est man you had ever met, but he moved as quietly as a mouse. Your eyes blink a few times as you haphazardly set down the bowl of mashed potatoes on the circular table. 

“Hi.”

Your voice is raw and red, softer than usual. Joel seems to instantly take notice. You see it in the way his eyes soften. He moves a little closer, hands resting on the back of one of the white outdoor dining chairs. 

Your face probably reads more panicky than intended. He picks up on your faulty mood and assumes the worst. 

“Do they.. Do they know?” He asks, eyebrows knitted with a deep furrow in between. 

Your eyes go doe-ish, shaking your head and occupying your hands with a spare cloth napkin.

“What? No. Why would you think that?” 

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t have to. He takes one long look over your being and you feel it in the space between you. 

Somethin’s wrong. 

Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine, Joel. 

He tilts his head, eyes narrowing on you more. 

Suddenly, you felt exposed. Like someone had ripped the curtain open on you. No one had ever seen right through you like this before. It was unsettling, but god, you just wanted to lean right into it. 

If your parents weren’t just inside, you’d walk right into his front and curl your head in his chest just under the hook of his chin. You’d close your eyes and wrap your small arms around his waist. 

He’d encircle you in his big, protective arms and shield you from the pain you’ve felt today. You’d listen to his heart thrumming against his chest, using the rhythm to try and slow down your breathing while he whispers to you in his sweet southern drawl.

S’alright, sweetheart. Everything’s gonna be okay. I see you tryin’. 

His eyes flitter into light again, ease passing across his features. 

“Like the dress.” He looks over you with a condescending little smirk. This man has never seen you in a dress in your life. 

“Shut up. It’s just for dinner.”

He lets out a cocky little tut. “‘Cause you knew I was comin’ over?”

When you look up at him again, his hand gently rests over yours. You don’t have time to appreciate it; the sliding back door opens, and your father’s big booming laughter shakes the nearby lake. Joel’s subtle touch is instantly gone. 

“Joel! So good to see you! Hey, great bonfire a few weeks ago.”

You take a deep breath and excuse yourself from the shop talk. You don’t want to be alone with your mother in the house, but the table still needs to be set up. You work around each other in silence. She grabs the salad, you grab the dinner rolls and green beans. You could hear a pin drop. 

---

Dinner would have been better if you had an appetite. You spent the majority of your time making a tilled farm field out of your mashed potatoes. You’d flatten out your helping with a fork and then gently run the fork’s ribs through the moldable potatoes and create little crop lines out of it. You don’t always play with your food, but you weren’t really up for conversation. Your mother takes notice. She hates it. She hates that you were letting your personal problems exist in the company of others. 

The only time you looked up even slightly was when Joel started talking. Sort of a calm in an unknown storm, you suppose. He looked so handsome without even really trying. You wore a crooked smile as you looked over the dark green button-up he was wearing. It was starting to be your favorite color, he wore it so well. 

There were points where your parents would turn to each other. And Joel would turn to you. It was sort of a silent check-in. 

Under the protection of the table, his hand found your knee, his big fingers lightly playing with the hem of your dress. It was the first time you cracked a real smile all dinner. Your hand ghosted over his, your nails lightly running soothing, slow lines on the underside of his wrist by his watch. 

You doin’ okay?

Mhm.

It didn’t dawn on you that Joel might have felt he did something to cause your saddened mood. And this was his way of asking. You bit down on your lower lip, feeling his fingers lightly interlock with yours over your knee. Your eyelashes flutter at the warmth it propels through your body. It was just what you needed. Everything was going to be okay. 

---

You’re working over a stubborn steak juice stain on a plate as the sun sets over the lake and glistens a soft yellow-orange hue through the windows in the kitchen. Your parents are moving around you while you rinse the dishes, back turned to them as they spoke in mundane conversation and pack up leftovers.

You don’t see him, but you can feel Joel’s presence as he enters the doorway. He watches you. He watches your parents. You wonder what he sees. The next thing you know, he’s shaking your parents hands and bidding them goodnight. 

He stops at you. As the running faucet splashes against a few forks and a wine glass, you spare him a glance. 

“Walk me out?” Your parents take notice of his ask. And not in the way you expect. 

You tilt back and forth on your feet, looking back to the dishes. You really just wanted to finish what was left to clean and read in your room for the rest of the night. 

“Uhm-”

“Go on and walk him out, honey. We’ll see you soon, Joel. Thanks for stoppin’ in.” 

Your eyes go from Joel’s, to your parents. If they were anything, at least they were oblivious. 

You and your mother share a look before she sighs and exits the kitchen. Your jaw loosens, not even realizing how hard you were grinding your teeth while looking at her. 

“Yeah. Okay.” Your murmured voice is barely audible above the gushing sink faucet. After you set the plate on the drying rack and smear your wet hands on a dish towel, you walk Joel outside. 

The night breeze off the lake sets in a layer of goosebumps up your arms. 

Joel’s boots scuff against the gravel and dirt in his driveway, his footsteps pausing at his truck and turning to face you. 

The rising moon and setting sun work in unison to highlight his aquiline nose and silver-sprinkled jawline. He’s charmingly handsome. Rugged features meet a stone facade. 

You take a hesitant look back into the house. The kitchen light is still on, but no one is in the small windows. 

“You wanna tell me what’s really goin’ on with you?” He crosses his arms, cocking his leg out as he leans his weight onto one of his hips. 

You muster up a shrug and fold your hands around your arms to keep the light chill away. It felt like you couldn’t tell the truth, the house and your parents inside watching over you. The pressure of it all makes your shoulders lurch up a bit into your neck. 

But Joel continues to press you. You’re making him nervous, you think, because he’s not accustomed to seeing you so quiet. 

“Are you..” His words falter and fall off, and you can see the frown creased into his mouth.  “You’re wantin’ t’stop seein’ each other?” 

“What?” Now you’re the one frowning, closing the gap between you and Joel and taking him by his hand to the other side of the truck, using it as a shield between you and the rest of the world. Your back flushes against his driver-side door. 

“No, I don’t want to stop seeing you, Joel.” You frown and squeeze his hand a little tighter in assurance. “Trust me. You’re kind of..” You struggle to make the words fit. Nothing seems right. You’re kind of the only person I want to be around right now.

Joel looks a little relieved. He doesn’t make you finish your sentence. He seems to connect the dots. Joel looks from your solemn face to the house behind you—the cause of your ill-stricken mood. 

“How about we grab a drink n’talk.” It’s not a question, exactly, it’s more like a command. 

You don’t want to talk about what happened, and you have a sneaking suspicion that if you two go off together, your parents will be asking questions. 

You push the toe of your sneaker into the gravel and twist slowly back and forth. 

“I should just head back inside. My parents are probably waiting up for me, anyway. Cleanup duty.” You say unenthusiastically with a dash of sarcasm. Joel’s eyes are looking past you, still at the house. You turn around to follow his eyeline. All the lights in the house have been turned off—even the porch light. Joel scowls at the sight, thinking how he always leaves the light on for Sarah. 

The caged-in feeling returns, your chest tight as you look to your feet and try to breathe through the ache your heart held. You wanted to get out of here, and now. 

“Never mind.” You bite down on your lower lip to hold it together. “Let’s go.” 

You’re already swinging open Joel’s door, rust creaking at the joints as you slide into the passenger seat. These old trucks with no center console were so cool to you. Maybe you'd appreciate it more if you weren’t in such a shitty mood. But Joel’s already in the truck beside you, the warmth he’s radiating was welcome. His key turns in the ignition, and it clicks a few times before the engine roars to life. 

You don’t talk, he doesn’t force you to. You feel at peace putting some distance between you and the lakehouse. 

Joel drives past neighborhoods with funny street names.  Thunderbird Lane. Firefly Drive. Sugar Loaf Lane.

As the sun just finishes setting, the whole town is covered in an orange glow that will soon fade to purple. Everything flies by your window, and moving at this speed feels like the cage is lifting around your chest, the clasps on your wrist snapping free. 

Rolling down the window makes the breeze funnel into the truck and flow through your hair. Before you know it, your body is halfway out of the window. 

“What ‘n God’s name do you think you’re doin’?” Joel’s tone was warning, his fist catching your dress in a fist around your lower back in an attempt to make sure you didn’t get thrown out of the truck.  “Get back in here.” 

You turned back so Joel could see you, eyes lit, and a smile from ear to ear. His hold slowly loosens at the sight before him. 

Back arched out the window, he drives a little slower and towards the center of the road. You look up, arms outstretched into the night air as you breathe everything in. Fresh lungs, filled with a new perspective, no tears left to cry as you hang out of Joel’s window. The stars gleam, and the universe is vast.

Oh my god. You hear yourself mumble, feeling freedom reeling through your entire body. And like that, you were new again. 

A satisfied sigh leaves your lips. You’re back in the truck now, and you roll the window up but not completely closed. The wind still tickles a breeze into your thrown-about hair. You look to Joel, his eyes already on yours. 

Joel sees your fire has been re-lit, thrashing out licks of flame and building in intensity. He adores you wild and free.

“Better?”

You fix the space between you, your body melting into his side as your head lazily rolls onto his shoulder. His heavy arm finds its way around the tops of your shoulders to keep you sedentary. 

“Much better.” 

---

He ends up passing the central part of town. It’s better this way. Go somewhere he won’t be recognized with a woman half his age. He’s the one who lives in town throughout the year. You and your family only visit in the summer. It doesn’t help that the town is small, and Joel is one of a handful of skilled contractors in the area. 

His rusted truck lulls to a jittery stop outside a small bar lit by a red neon sign reading, Past Lives. You wander inside, passing empty barstools and a glowing dartboard, while your sneakers crunch peanut shells littering the ground. You nearly slipped on a large pile of them, but Joel’s hand was firmly on your bicep before you could flail any further. 

“You might be the clumsiest woman I’ve ever met.” He mutters, annoyance passing over his features. 

You roll your eyes and scoot onto one of the tall barstools at a small square table against the wall. “I doubt that’s true.” 

He shrugs his shoulders and cracks open a peanut, tossing it into his mouth. “You’re right. Your mother is the clumsiest woman I know. You get it from her. Once, I watched her glide five or six feet down the end of the dock and land in the water.” 

An ill feeling passes over you again, pursing your lips as you trace your finger around the small bowl Joel is picking his peanuts from. 

Joel halts his movements, chewing included, and watches as your eyes stare meaninglessly at the table. 

“Never really seen you like this. Thought I’d like it if you were quiet for once. But now it just feels out of character.” 

Joel’s boot teasingly nudges your sneaker under the table. His brown eyes look warm despite the lack of light in the dingy bar. Your stomach twists thinking about how he looked under the moonlight just half an hour ago. 

Those pretty eyes of his meet yours. Soft. Kind. “Talk to me.”

A beaten-up sigh leaves your lips, tugging at the hem of your dress. 

After a drink or two, you tell Joel everything he missed before dinner. How you and your mother fought. How it was all venom and tears, leaving you cold and alone on the bathroom tile. By the time the battle came to a halt, there was no clear winner or loser. 

Joel’s an attentive listener. He doesn’t interrupt. He knows when to prompt you need a push. Joel’s pile of peanut shells has turned into a small molehill. The ice in your drink sloshes around as you start talking with your hands. 

“I love her, I mean, she’s my mom. But she’s always fought me on this. This-this-...”  

“The traveling,” Joel assists, his large hand nursing a small glass of whiskey. He looks amused like he enjoys watching you spew. You supposed he feels more relieved to see you explode like this rather than holding it all in.

“And-and it’s so much more than that! She fought me about leaving Texas for school, she fought me about doing a semester abroad, she just can’t let me go, it’s suffocating!” 

You didn’t mean to sound so passionate, and you hadn’t realized how vocal you became until someone slowly clapped on the other side of the bar in appreciation. You stifled a laugh and put your head shyly in your hands. 

He nods slowly, waiting to see what you’ll say next. You’re using him like you’re journaling at home, now it’s just interactive. 

You sigh and pinch at the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes as you listen to an old country slow song humming throughout the bar. 

“Didn’t even wanna come back this year.” Your words are barely above a murmur. 

This makes Joel pause. “What d’you say?” 

You sit up straight and sigh, crossing one leg over the other under the table. These stupid drinks are making you tell the truth. Be more vulnerable than you would ordinarily be. But it’s also because you’re talking to Joel, and he’s always been interested in what you have to say. 

“I didn’t want to come back this year. These past few years, I didn’t come back to Danbury because I sort of- purposely- busied up my summer. Internships, work, anything to keep me busy and out from under their-their….” You pause to make hand gestures that are wide and all-encompassing. 

Joel juts his jaw out to the side, lips pursed before he speaks again. 

“M’happy you came back.”  

There’s a moment of silence. Joel’s eyes aren’t on yours anymore. He’s swirling his glass around slowly and watching his ice rotate in a sloppy circle. You slowly start to smile as he looks bashful. 

“What did you say, Mr.Miller?” You pry teasingly, reaching your hand over and gently stroking his watch band. The nickname makes his eyes narrow on yours. 

“Nothin’. Forget about it.” He throws back the last of his drink, and you’re cooing for him to continue. 

“Wha- Joel, come on! Why did you say that?” 

He’s just trying to buckle down his smile, hiding it with his whiskey glass and shaking his head. 

“Didn’t say nothin’.”

“Yes, you so did. Don’t even try to lie.” 

“I’ve never lied a day in my life.”

Your eyes go wide, and now you’re smacking his forearm. He’s shoving quarters at you now, sliding them to your side of the table as a form of distraction. 

“Can you just-” He scoffs under his breath and rolls his eyes, finalizing his quarter total to four. ��-fuck off, go put a song on the jukebox.” 

You sneer at him but obey. You look for something particular, pausing on Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac, smirking at him as you punch in his quarters. He seems confused as to why you stay standing at the jukebox. 

The chorus hits, and you point accusingly at him as you do so. 

“Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies,” you can’t even finish before your right foot catches on more slippery peanut shells, freezing like you were caught on ice skates and trying not to fall. 

Joel’s hand has a vice grip on your bicep again until you regain your balance. God. Your face gathers heat as you snatch your phone off the table, and he lets out a laugh at your expense. 

“Can’t sing,”

“Hey-”

“Can’t walk in a straight line.”

“I had like four drinks.”

“Two.” He corrects. There’s no hiding that you’re just unbearably uncoordinated. 

“God. Just- get me out of here, Miller.” 

Joel was biting back a smile. He likes teasing you, taunting you. Only because you know how to serve it back to him. 

“Not until you see this. Wanna show you somethin’.” He sets down his whiskey and lays down cash to cover the tab. 

You start your stride, and Joel’s already looking at you with instilled concern. You insist I’m fine. Go on. You follow him through a narrow hallway towards the restrooms, an exit door lit up with a red sign over it. 

The walls are filled with signs, pictures, and letters, all illuminated by a soft flickering strip light.  These were trails that people had left along the way, passing through the bar and leaving a piece of them behind for strangers to admire. It was like a memory wall. 

Joel leans back against the men’s restroom doorframe, arms crossed as he silently admires the wall. And you. 

Your fingers brush an old family picture timestamped from the late 80s. There were business cards, from bankers to bonds bailsman. 

You feel Joel’s hand cast warmth on your hip, guiding you further down the hall. You follow his eyeline to a large yellow-light spoiled wall map. There were push pins all in different parts of the world. 

“Look at all of these, Joel!” Your eagerness was evident as you stepped in front of him, finger flying from one point to the next, squinting past the tacks to read the cities people have visited. 

“Bangkok, Thailand. Paris, France. Of course. London, Dubai, Tokyo.” Your voice trails off, finger-stopping around the empty parts of the map that some of the bargoers had yet to venture off to. The pins around the state of Texas were ironic. 

You gently took a step back, Joel's broad and hardened front caressing your back. His arms gently wrap around you before they clasp at your front. You rest your temple against his bicep as you sigh. You found comfort in him tonight more than he could understand. 

Your neck cranes to the side and up, observing his defined jawline from below. “Have you ever been out of the country?” Your face is lit with excitement, only to fall as he slowly shakes his head. You turn back to the map, your fingers gently holding onto his muscular forearm. 

“Am I crazy for wanting to leave?” 

You can feel a heavy breath leave through Joel’s nose, the air fanning over the top of your head. 

“You’re not leavin’. You’re travelin’. You’ll come back, eventually.” 

The muscle in your jaw twitches, and your eyes move to the Eastern side of the map, spotting the tiny European countries. 

“Maybe my mom is so worried that if I decide to leave, I might not come back.” You say it as a joke. It makes Joel muster up a tut. But maybe, just maybe, you mean it.

---

You feel drops scatter from the dark black clouds overhead as you rush out to the truck, feeling the cold rain splash onto the exposed skin of your thighs.

Joel’s hot on your heels, doing his little side hop down the stairs and jogging lightly with his arms tucked into his sides. He’s already tossed you the keys to his truck. His body hovers over yours and shields the raindrops from landing on your head as you fiddle with unlocking the truck door. 

“Any day now.”

His babbling thwarts your concentration. 

“Fuck off, it’s like- rusted shut.” You tease before giving the handle one large tug, and it gives way with a creak. You slip in, dress hem tangling up on your upper thighs. Your hand flies to fix it instinctually, but you slow down when you see how adamantly Joel admires the exposed skin.

When you two make eye contact, he’s already cleared his throat and put the key in the ignition. He cranes his neck back to look out the rearview window, left hand cranking the wheel with precision while his right arm wraps around the back of your headrest. You swallow the lump in your throat, watching Joel reverse out of the bar’s parking lot and back onto the main road.

Your heart thumps, and you think he can hear it because his eyes are on yours when he turns back around. Magnetizing. And you have a hard time facing him without feeling a little shy. Because you’re thinking incredibly naughty things now. 

On the drive home, the rain pelts the truck and hard. Joel’s wimpy wipers are working at full speed. He’s not concerned because he knows these streets with his eyes closed. He turns up the radio a little bit to drown out the rain. He does it for you to ease your nerves. 

“You’re quiet.” He murmurs, his eyes still on the murky road in front of him. 

You can’t help but be quiet. He looks so fucking hot. As dim streaks of lightning skitter across the sky, you see the silver hairs in his mustache and beard. His rain-dampened curls are recoiling, fresh, and wavy. His thick neck was lined with strong veins and muscle.

“So are you.” You murmur back. 

His eyes catch you in sneaky glances. Your hair, pretty and dry since he shielded you in the bar’s parking lot. Dress half rumpled up your thighs, smooth skin of your legs exposed to his wandering pupils. 

The truck suddenly shifts, veering off the main road.  

“Woah,” you gasp, thinking the truck had slid at first. But Joel’s foot was still on the gas, cautiously guiding you off to a side road. You look around, covered by darkness and trees that shield your existence but do little to veil the obscene thoughts racing through your head. 

Joel finally throws the truck into a parked position, your eyes watching as his hand snaps the keys out of the ignition. 

He looks over at you expectantly. And you just deadpan. 

“Get over here." He says between gritted teeth, voice drenched in lust as he snaps off his seatbelt and then your own.

His large hands pull you in as soon as you’re free. You don’t waste another minute, straddling his lap and resting between him and his steering wheel.  

You clutch the collar of his dark green button-up, tugging him by his neck into your kiss. It’s messy and desperate, but you've wanted to taste him since dinner. His greedy hands are wrinkling your dress. The cold air tickles your warm thighs, and you whimper into his mouth. 

Joel’s kisses are rough but fluent; he speaks the language of your lips. You take a moment to admire how different the two of you are and how it feels like he’s the key to your lock. 

His warm palms slip up the front of your thighs as he kisses you, hasty and happy. He takes the hem of your dress with him. Joel is as warm as a furnace. He’s heating you from the inside out as your core begins to ache for him.

He pauses the kiss, large palm coming up to cup your cheek as his thumb traces along your lower lip. You take the time to catch your breath, feeling his own fog against the window next to you. 

“Not exactly the most romantic spot.” His eyes shift with lust-filled guilt. “M’sorry.” 

You work up a smile, leaning in to gently kiss his cheek and up his cheekbone. 

“It’s okay. We’re not romantic.” Your clarification feels like a lie. He doesn’t need to know that. 

The rain outside becomes blurred, and Joel’s looking through you again. Right through you. Your chest pounds under his watchful eyes. He sucks in the side of his cheeks, looks you up and down your face. 

Don’t lie to me. 

Don’t make me tell you the truth.

He decides to let you move on unscathed, your thighs clamping around his own with your knees at either side of his hips. His worry lines are stamped into his forehead as he looks over you cautiously. 

You break into a smile, unable to stand him looking at you like you’re a lost puppy. “Joel,” you whisper into his ear, soft lips giving his ear a kiss as your nose lightly brushes against his soft curls. Your voice drops to a whisper, sweet and divine. “Don’t make me beg, Mr. Miller.” 

Your lips suckle his earlobe and cast your tongue along the curve while his fingertips immediately dig deeper into the flesh of your hips. The sensation makes his cock twitch in his jeans. 

You smirk as you grind your hips into his lap, a suppressed grunt leaving his parted lips. He’s into it. “You like this, Mr. Miller?” Your words are murmured against the shell of his ear, teeth gently catching his earlobe and lightly tugging. 

Your words along with the rhythm of your hips over his lap have him in a tailspin. 

“Knock it off.” He warns, teeth gritted, a low growl emitting from his throat while he grips you at the waist to pause any movement. He looks so sexy snarling at you like this. Your hand reaches between you two, palming against his cock until you feel it swell into the heart of your hand. 

Joel is lazily planting kisses on the soft skin of your neck, he’s distracted by how good your hand feels. 

You take turns half undressing one another. Joel pushes your dress up to your waist and loops his index finger into the band of your panties. He guides them down with your assistance. You kick the material off your ankles and move to pop open each button of his long sleeve. He goes to shrug it off, but you smile and tighten your hold on the collar. 

“I like it on. Just wanna see your chest hair.” 

His mouth tilts into a crooked smirk.

“‘lright, then. Good to know.” He leans back in and places messy kisses on your exposed neck. You can feel how badly he wants to sink his teeth in, but you share the mutual rule of keeping those things below the collar. Out of sight, out of other people’s nosy minds. 

You struggle to admit that jimmying open his belt at this angle was pissing you off. You’re holding your breath until it clicks open, and you let out a sigh of relief. So does Joel. 

A gasp leaves your lips as Joel lifts the both of you up purely with the strength of his hips, a low grunt leaving his pouted lips as he pushes his jeans down to his knees, along with his boxers. You sit back down over him and feel his heavy shaft pressing against your slick center. His girth makes you whimper. 

The rhythm of the rain eases your racing heart. You take Joel’s pulsing member into your slightly shaky hand. 

“Nervous?” It’s not cocky or concerned, just curious. 

“M’not nervous.” You mutter, starting to pump his cock to get him to shut up. And it works. For a minute. 

His head falls back into the seat as he watches you in admiration, his own hand wandering between your spread legs and gliding two fingers through your slick. His forefinger grazes against your clit, and he has you whimpering again. 

“S’okay to be nervous.” His thumb slowly starts delicate circles into your bundle of nerves, and now he’s got your legs quivering. 

You’re chewing at the inside of your cheek, shifty eyes meeting his. You pace your words this time. “I’m not nervous, Joel.” You pull away from him to create a line of spit from your mouth, landing on his pink tip already drizzling in precum. You swallow your nerve and bring yourself to meet his eyes. “Not with you.” 

The mutual understanding links the two of you together, bound to the agreement in silence. You have a burning desire for one another. You’re scared, and he knows it. You push him to the limits, his heart beats for you. 

Steam fogs the windows of Joel’s truck. The rain dances a fine line between pounding and pouring to slow and subtle. 

Joel’s kisses lull you into a peaceful existence. You take off your dress, unable to stand anything between you and Joel. He’s warm as he wraps his arms around you, your tits flush against his thick chest. 

You line him up by his base, Joel’s trying to hold himself still under you. You’re focusing hard, and he kisses your temple to ease your thoughts. He murmurs something, but you’re too busy concentrating. 

His pink tip meets your warm flesh, and his tip slowly parts your walls. He’s seething between his teeth, how tight you are washes pleasure over his face. He wants you to go slow. You don’t want him to go easy on you. You can’t help but let his name tumble from your lips in desperation. 

“Joel,” you whine, one hand clenching the fabric of his button-up by his shoulder while the other still weakly holds his base. 

“M’here, baby.”

He’s rubbing soothing circles in your hips with his forefingers, trying to distract you from the stretch he’s creating inside you. 

His breaths are coming out in hot puffs. The truck isn’t cold anymore, in fact, it’s only steaming up. 

“So- fuckin’- tight.” He murmurs, eyebrows knitted together as his jaw was dropped open. 

It was sharp at first, but the further you sank over him, the more you couldn’t contain yourself. As soon as his balls were flushed against your core, you were kissing him. Hot and heavy, desperate and needy, can’t get enough of each other sort of kisses. One of his hands holds the back of your head to keep you close while your fingers are delicately feeling up his chest and mazing through salt and pepper hair. 

You smirk lazily against his lips, pulling away to rest your head on his shoulder. With this leverage, you start to roll your hips down onto his. Joel’s hands assist, squeezing your ass and guiding you smoothly up and down his shaft. You’re both moaning one another’s names, hazy eyes watching each other as long as they can before eventually drifting closed. 

You wished you weren’t fucking in his truck, your riding skills were a lot better than this, but if you try and pop up, your head will just smack into the roof. And he’ll make fun of you for as long as he knows you. 

“God- feel so good, Joel.” 

You’re panting already a few minutes in. You don’t want Joel to think you can’t do this, you don’t want his help. But your body is crammed in limited quarters, and you’re already sweating. 

He feels good. You wonder how long it’s been since he’s had sex. He’s not exactly the most outgoing of gentlemen. Thinking about him being with other women, maybe even women his age stirs a weird pit inside your stomach. 

One hand steadies itself on Joel’s forearm while the other gently clutches his cheek. You leave a messy moan against his ear. 

“Do you like fucking girls half your age, Mr. Miller?” You ask with a teasing smirk, messy kisses against his stubble and his ear ensuing. 

He’s grunting every time you throw yourself back into him, skin clapping against his thighs, his hands slipping from your hips to your ass and squeezing the juicy flesh. “-like fuckin’ you.” 

A low, extended groan leaves his lips as he holds your hips down, filling you full and having you sit with it. You throw your head back, and your eyes shudder closed with a loud moan occupying the truck. 

You tell yourself that you’re both just fuck happy. You can worry about the depth of Joel’s words later. He feels too good inside of you for the first time to give a shit.

Joel’s thrusts bring you back to life, hand landing against his window and leaving a print mark against the steamy glass. 

Joel senses your languid movements. He thinks you look pretty being fucked in his trunk during a thunderstorm. The darkness wraps the both of you up, only seeing flashes of each other’s features. He combs his large hand into your hair, catching your striking features with his hooded eyes. The slope of your nose. The curvature of your collarbones. Your pretty lips that he can’t stop staring at. 

Joel enjoys the control too much for you to be on top for a second longer. 

You collapse onto the truck’s long leather seat, lips parting in surprise as he maneuvers you to lie back without slipping from your entrance. 

“H-Holy fuck, Joel-” You’re breathless. 

Joel’s jaw clicks tighter as he flattens one of his large palms beside your head for leverage, hovering over you as he begins to methodically snap his hips into yours. Your desperate cries for more fill the truck. 

Both of you are horridly cursing, some in the form of whines and moans and others in the form of whispered grunts. 

Fuckin Christ-

Holy shit, Joel, please-

Feel so god damn good, princess-

Oh f- fuck me Joel, fuck me!

You’re already feeling the knots in your stomach tether tighter and tighter together, back arching as your chest brushes against his nose. 

Joel takes the opportunity and licks a hot stripe between your breasts. You know he tastes your glistening sweat, but the trail from his tongue makes you clench tighter around him. 

You catch Joel’s unfiltered groan in your mouth, his forehead resting against yours as his amber eyes grace yours. 

He’s close, you can see it in the way his features contort and his thrusts become more unpredictable. You had no idea he could fuck this good. 

Joel brings a hand up to your lips and offers you two fingers. You whimper but reluctantly take them past your mouth. You suckle and lather your tongue up and down each digit, it makes his cock twitch inside of you. 

He plucks his fingers free with a pop, a trail of spit extending from your bottom lip to your chin as he reaches between you both. 

Finding your swollen bundle of nerves doesn’t take him more than a second. You were so turned on it was almost painful. 

Joel’s tip sweetly kisses your cervix at this angle, and you are so close to spilling over. Your hands cup his face, pulling him into you as you share a messy kiss. You think about how scared you were to kiss him before, but now it makes you feel a sense of protection and safety. You wrap your arms around his neck, you need him close. 

“Joel,” you whimper, clenching your eyes closed and dropping your jaw as he finds the perfect rhythm circling your clit. 

“Can’t hear ya, baby,” He grunts into your ear. You can feel him tiredly smirking against your cheek, knowing he’s fucking you so good you’re struggling to find the words. 

“Fuck,” you mutter, your legs clenching tighter at the sides of his hips. “M’on birth control, finish inside me,” you whisper against his ear. 

You can hear him let out a short, breathy chuckle against your ear. It only drives him more, knowing he can fill you up. 

“Y’sure, sweetheart?” 

“Want to?” 

His teeth are gritted as he growls into your ear. “Course I wanna fill your sweet cunt up.” 

It was hopeless after that. 

A crack of thunder and a strike of lightning conspire, your view of Joel illuminating his gorgeous face in a white-silver flash. 

The tight coils inside you snap free, a broken moan of his name being the last thing you remember saying before white stars filled your vision. Your hold on Joel loosens as your orgasm crashes through you ungracefully, making you twitch and rut your hips below him. 

His fingers and his thrusts don’t stop. He rides out your orgasm, following suit until he flushes his hips against yours and lets out a heavenly groan of your name. You’re still under him, vision blurry and hearing fuzzy. He finds solace in the crook of your neck, nuzzling a home for himself in the space and losing himself deep inside you. 

His body shudders lightly as he finishes, spilling white streams into you for who knows how long. Your hand is gently stroking the hair at the back of his head, fingers combing through dark curls as he breathes hot air against your neck. 

You both slowly blink back to life. He’s complimenting you, but you’re too blissed out to hear the details. 

So good, baby… Such a pretty fuckin’ girl... So lucky. 

Joel tuts softly as he attempts to free his softened length, but you whine and tighten your legs around his hips to keep him stationary. 

Your eyelashes flutter as you feel gentle kisses by the corners of your eyes, tiredly smiling as you open them before slowly sitting up onto your elbows. Joel takes the opportunity to pull out and yank his boxers and jeans back into place, securing his belt last. 

He still keeps his shirt unbuttoned for you, partially because you have a hold on a random corner to keep it so. 

With the absence of your pants hotboxing the truck, you slip back into your dress with a light shudder. You reach past Joel’s leg to retrieve your panties and pull them up your stems to keep his spillage to a minimum. 

“Good?” He asks, a smile slowly growing on your lips. He looked so fucked out. You both probably did. You attempt to fix Joel’s hair, and he takes his thumb to swipe away the saliva trail on your chin. 

“Good.” You agree. Quiet and sapped, but good. 

You force Joel to play a few games of tic-tac-toe on the foggy glass before the storms lighten up, and you can actually see more than a few feet in front of the road. 

You’re picking at the skin around your nails the entire drive home. So many questions compile in your worn-out brain. 

What if your parents noticed you were gone? What if they were awake, waiting for you by the kitchen window, and they see you slip out of Joel’s truck? Try explaining yourself after that one. 

As Joel pulls into his driveway, you observe the lake house is still dark and silent. Empty but also not. Joel’s warm palm is on your leg. It draws your attention away from the window, focusing just on him. 

“Joel?”

“Hm?” 

You shift your jaw before you lay your head back against the headrest, gentle pitter patters of the last rain cloud splashing on the window. 

“What do you do when you’re not working? Like on that Saturday when I talked to you at your truck.” 

He musters up a half-mouth smirk. “Didn’t do much talkin’ that I recall.” 

You roll your eyes and slam a closed fist against his shoulder. It barely rocks his arm, let alone his body. “M’serious.” 

He lets out a long sigh and looks out the windshield. “I do stuff around town or-  for the town.”

He’s so hard to push details out of. He’s like a jammed stapler. 

“Go on. So, like, volunteering?”

Joel rolls his eyes and shrugs. “S’not really like that.”

“That’s what it sounds like.” 

He doesn’t say anything, just sort of starts smiling. “Just like keeping myself busy. But now I have you on my plate.” He teased. Your chest felt warm, knowing he kept a place for you in his hectic life. 

“What sort of stuff are you working on right now?” 

He takes a long, deep breath through his nose. You can hear it whistle before he lets it all out of his mouth, followed by clearing his throat. 

“Y’know that old church past that big field on the east side of Danbury?” 

You mindlessly shake your head and shrug. 

“When I was a kid, I used t’go to that church-”

“For God?” You can’t help but blurt it out in shock. 

He narrows his eyes on you and smirks.

“M’not exactly the Godly type.” You look over his chiseled jawline and beautiful, robust features. You’d have to disagree. He looked like one of God’s favorites. 

“So.. why are you trying to fix an old church?”

Joel slowly smiles, eyes mindlessly on the dashboard of his truck before he answers. “I have a thing for the broken, used, and abandoned.” 

Your head cocks to the side, and you give him a look, pressing him for an honest answer. Or maybe it was an honest answer, and you’re just looking for a better answer. 

He shuffles around in his seat before he continues, hand still aimlessly circling on your thigh. “It wasn’t operable when I was a kid, just rundown, abandoned. There used to be a stained glass mural on the-uh... east-facing wall. So when the sun came up through it, the whole place just- lit up.” He pauses and shifts his focus to you. 

“Now, y’know, it’s fallin’ apart. Dumb kids throwin’ rocks at it and chipping away the glass, age makin’ it all dust-covered.” Joel shrugs and falls back into his closed pit of secrecy. 

“So… you’re fixing up the town.”

A pause. “More or less.” 

“You know how to make a stained glass mural?”

He shakes his head and purses his lips. “No. But I can figure it out.” 

You twist your lips and slowly climb over his lap once more. His eyes watch you curiously while his hands settle on your hips. You cup either side of his neck, fingertips lightly brushing up against messy curls. 

“Can I see this mural you’re working on?” 

He takes a long time to answer. So much dead silence fills the truck you start to feel a bit awkward about asking, like maybe it was too far. 

“Please.” You ask or tell rather. You kiss his lips lightly to try and sway his pending decision. “I won’t judge, I think it’s cool.”

“Cool?” He instantly chirps, cocking an eyebrow up at you. 

“I didn’t say you were cool-”

“You most certainly did.” 

You’re shaking your head, and his pointer finger is prodding into your side to get under your skin. “I said that it’s cool. The stained glass stuff, that is what is cool.” 

He’s already sneering at you. “Whatever you say, princess.” You can feel your cheeks singe with heat. Your hand anxiously scrabbles for the door handle, letting the rusty door creak open for your exit.

Sneakers scrape gravel after you climb out of Joel’s lap, his boots landing suit. 

He smoothes a hand down your dress, your eyes watch before you face him. 

“You gonna be alright?” Joel's face is laced with slight concern, his head cocking past you and looking to the house. 

You shrug and shake your head. “Yeah. We’ve had this fight before, and we’ll have it again.” 

He doesn’t seem satisfied with the answer. He’s teetering on his heels as a stray raindrop lands on your cheek. 

“You can..” He trails off as his thumb comes up and brushes away the droplet, hand lingering before he cups your cheek. “Y’know, can always stay with us if you need a break. M’sure Sarah would love the company.” And so would he. 

Your eyes soften, the gesture warm and safe. You couldn’t even imagine the trouble you’d stir up at Joel’s house. Sure, you could occupy yourself with Sarah when she returned from camping, but what would you and Joel do? Well, besides the obvious…

Your lips curl into a tight smile, not wanting him to reel in his invite out of pure bashfulness. 

“Thank you. I’ll keep it in mind.” Your eyes are on his until he sighs, his shoulders reset into that of a broad lumberjack once more. His eyes looked like they were scheming. It’s fast, like a flash, and before you know it, the look is gone. 

“Take care of yourself.” He leans down and plants a kiss on the crown of your head, thumb skimming up the line of your cheekbone. Suddenly, your heart is racing again. 

You cup his cheeks and pull him down for a real goodbye kiss, two sets of pouted lips against one another, unwilling to let go until you have to. 

---

“What are you doing after work?” You’re on a call with Joel, phone pressed between your ear and hunched shoulder. 

“What are you wearing right now?” He taunts, voice crackling in and out of connection since he was currently working at a house out of town. 

“Ha.” You deadpan, closing the sliding glass door behind you as you step back into the empty lake house, skin sweltering from being in the sun for the better half of the afternoon reading on the dock. “No, really, I could use your help.”

The phone volume shrills in your ear as you hear an electric saw roar to life, Joel cursing repeatedly as he walks away from all the noise.  “Jesus fuckin-.. so damn lou- Can you hear me better?” 

Once the saw dulled, you put the phone back to your ear.  “Yeah.”

“What do you need help with?” His voice sounds a little preoccupied like he’s trying to focus on you, but he’s got a million things running through his head. 

“My window.” You say with a frown, stepping into your bedroom and cursing at the sight of it. “Won’t open. Maybe you can crack it open with some of your handy dandy tools.”

You smile as he musters up a little laugh at your hardware knowledge or lack thereof. “I don’t know about today, baby.” 

“You are the property maintenance guy for our lakehouse now, right? You have a duty to help me.” You tease, stepping back outside with a fresh bottle of water and an apple. Your teeth pierce the skin, and the apple’s juices gush past your lips. 

“Jesus, fine. I’ll be over. I’m almost done.”

You purse your lips to hide your smirk. God, he can’t even see you, but you don’t want him to know he’s got you flustered. 

“Parents are running errands today... If that’s extra incentive for you to hurry up.” 

Joel pauses on the other end. He’s probably got that stupid smirk on his face. “In that case, I’ll leave now.”

“I knew you’d see things my way. Thank youuu.” You playfully coo. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

An hour later, Joel’s outside your window while you assist from the inside. His face is twisted in concentration, eyes narrowed on a misaligned hinge that he works free with a screwdriver, realigns, then screws tight into its proper place. 

He looks stupid hot so focused like this. Tanned skin, hair a little dusty from work. The veins in his forearm were bulging as he uses pressure to keep the hinge in place. You had to blink a few times to keep yourself from staring. He feels it. 

“Can I help you?” His voice was thick and echoing since he was speaking to you between a glass pane. 

You bite back a smirk and shake your head. 

He pulls off the hinge and nods, pats it a few times before looking at you and giving you a thumbs up. 

You decide to let him come inside before you open the window yourself, twisting at the string of your bikini bottom as you wait. He took in your appearance as soon as he parked in the driveway. 

“What?”

“...Nothin’. Like the outfit.”

“Joel, I was sunbathing. And reading. It wasn’t an intended distraction.” It was. 

“Mhm.”

Joel appears at the entrance of your bedroom. You silently curse yourself for not updating it more. It still looked like a sixteen-year-old fangirl lived in it. 

He appreciates the posters and magazines, checking his handiwork at the window. 

“Wanna give it a go? Open it?” 

You eagerly smile and step up to the window, playfully tugging on it and heaving. 

“I-.. It’s still stuck.” You say with a frown. “Joel, you said you fixed it.”

“What? Shouldn’t be-” He’s already got his hands on the frame and tugs, feeling it easily slip up and open. You’re giggling as his face deadpans. 

“You think you’re so funny.” He taunts, his body turning towards you as he chucks his tools haphazardly on your bed. You’re already attempting to take leaps and bounds away from Joel, but his arms are long, and so are his strides. 

His rough hands capture you by your waist, dusty and calloused fingers ghosting over your warm skin. 

Joel’s lips eagerly greet yours, both of you grinning into the kiss. It’s slow as you let it envelop you. Your heart races. He’s not supposed to be here, your parents could come home any time now.  

You bite down on your lower lip, feeling butterflies in your stomach as he backs you up against your wall, foreheads gently pressed together. His eyes flick behind you, and your head follows his gaze. 

“Boybands, huh?”

You roll your eyes and smirk, fingers moving to the button of his jeans. 

“Shut up, Joel. Leave the boybands out of it.” 

A car door slamming catches both of your attention. Heads whip on instinct, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. Your parents are home, and Joel’s half-hard in your palm. 

“Oh, shit.” You curse. 

Joel’s already moving, grabbing his tools off your bed, and adjusting his jeans. “Lemme handle it.” Your heart pounds as you and Joel greet your parents at the door. They walk in with fresh shopping bags. A cheesy sign for the living room sticks out from one of them. 

“Joel?” They both ask in unison, looking between the man beside you and you in your bikini. Your mother’s face lightly flushes. 

“Hey, Joel! Good to see ya!” Your father sets the bags on the table and grabs a beer from the fridge. You shift on your feet and just let Joel lead. 

Your dad’s oblivious, your mother is more curious

. 

“What are you... What are you doing here?” She tries to ask casually with a little smile. 

Joel raises his screwdriver, strategically keeping the toolbag in front of his lower half. You try not to smirk. 

“Was fixin’ your daughter’s jammed window.”

Your mother's face softens before she smiles. “Y’know, that thing has been jammed for… years. Thank you.”

You give him a tight-lipped smile and nod. “Yes. Thank you, Mr. Miller.” The light glare he sends you means you’ll pay for that one later. Joel clears his throat and nods, too. He turns to you now, and you share a look. 

“Just… let me know if it happens again. Might need to replace the hinge entirely. Small piece of it could be broken, might be why it keeps slippin’ out of place.”

“Yeah. For sure. Thanks.” 

You walk past your mother and open the door from him, but he still stands between your parents. What the hell is he doing?

“While I have you both, I was just tellin’ your daughter ‘bout a business trip I have comin’ up.” Huh? “ It’s not for Miller Contracting. It’s more for the town. I’m gettin’ materials for the old church-”

“Oh, the one with the broken stained glass mural on the east side of town?” Your mother chirps in. “We just drove past it. Just saying how someone needs to fix it up.” Joel’s lightly nodding to your mother’s words, her face soft as she listens to him with curiosity. 

“Well, I was tellin’ her about it ‘cause I could use some help getting materials from a supplier in Houston. I’d normally ask Sarah to tag along and help, but she said she’s got some graduation parties next weekend that she doesn’t wanna miss. Would it be alright if-”

“Oh, of course! Yes, please, if you need her help and she wants to go, she’s all yours.” 

Your eyes are wide, trying not to seem too shocked by Joel secretly sweeping you out from under your parents without them even noticing. 

Joel turns to you, eyebrow cocked.  “That okay with you? Next weekend. Friday to Sunday sort’f thing.” 

A whole weekend alone with Joel? Your insides are bursting, but you have to seem apathetic. 

“Mhm. Sure.” 

Joel sneaks you a private smile. “Really appreciate it. Ya’ll have a good rest of your evenin’.” And with that, he’s out the front door. 

You couldn’t believe what just happened. 

You try to act casual before you make it off to your room, but your mother’s voice pulls you to a halt. 

“Ah-ah, not so fast. Back it up.”

You quietly sigh before coming back to the main part of the kitchen. She narrows her eyes on you and lightly crosses her arms. Your fight with her from yesterday is still fresh, and it makes holding prolonged eye contact difficult. 

“Are you seeing a boy?”

Your eyes widen on instinct. Your dad pauses the sip of his beer and watches you carefully. You try to hold together a poker face as best as you can, but you’re worried your shock is already seeping through. 

“Wha- A boy? Why would you think that?” The laugh you force out sounds too fake. And you’re a terrible liar.  You feel so hot all of a sudden. You wished Joel was still here to talk you in and out of shit. It was a skill of his you’d surely have to learn. 

“Well, we heard the door close really late last night after you walked Joel out. We were just wondering if... You know, there’s a special someone that you’re seeing.” Of course, she hoped you would tie yourself down to someone in Texas. 

“Yeah, did a boy pick you up after dinner or somethin’?” Your father presses, eyes narrowing protectively over you. “You seein’ a boy or not, honey?”

You didn’t want to lie, but you certainly weren’t ready to tell them the truth about you and Joel. 

“Uhm.” Your brain scrabbles for an answer and ultimately chooses poorly. “Sorta. I don’t know. Kind of?” 

Your mother tightens her lips in a smile and nods a little. “We’ll let it go for now, but-”

“God- Mom, please.” You groan and put your face in your hands, closing your eyes and wishing this nightmare was over. 

“But,” she annoyingly emphasizes, “If it gets serious, we want to meet this young man.” She says with a firm nod before turning back to your father and putting away the items in their shopping bags. 

Meet him? They want to meet the boy you’re seeing? What will they do when they find out the boy is actually a full-grown man, a forty-something-year-old with a teenage daughter? And that man was not only their friend and neighbor but Joel fucking Miller. Fuck. Your luck was running out. 

---

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[cultofdixon]

I’ll remind you everyday if I have to

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • It’s the smallest of things to startle a person, but thankfully you have someone to always make sure you’re okay • ANGST/SFW • TW: Anxiety Attacks

Requested by: Anon

Anything does it

Loud noises

Yelling

Door slams

Motorcycle engines starting

Walkers trying to claw their way in

Loud snoring if the source is unknown

Honestly, if you made a joke about something breathing and it triggering Y/N’s anxiety…most would think that’s true. She may not be outwardly expressive with her anxiety attacks but one knows she’s having one if she’s disappeared for a period of time.

Her infamous hiding spots are under tables. Carl found her in the closet once when they first arrived to Alexandria and the new people were overwhelming so no one really dared to drag her out. Not that anyone would given Daryl is usually the one to take care of these moments but there were situations where Y/N had to be dragged out of the comfort of hiding.

The farm fire

Governor attack 1

Prison outbreak

Governor attack 2

The Claimers

Terminus

The chapel

The hospital

The barn

Y/N got creative a few times with her hiding spots during the periods where they were moving a lot. But now the group resides in Alexandria and after a few days Y/N left the living room closet sticking with Daryl for the most part since he gives her the most comfort. He didn’t like the place but after all they have been through, after what they have been through, he’s willing to bend slightly so that they could possibly make this place their home.

“Are you coming with to the party?” Rick asks Daryl who seems to have never left the porch whenever he stepped outside finding him always there.

“Nah. Well I don’t know” He frowns keeping his gaze to the floor while he chewed away at his thumb. “Y/N going?”

“Nope. She’s staying in.” Rick states making his way down the steps and more over to Carol’s porch that Daryl stood on. “Judith is coming with me later so Y/N will be alone in the house if yea ever wanna check in on her”

“You make it sound like she had another attack” His worry started to eat at him and with no instant reply back, his own words are only confirming it. “Why didn’t—-“

“Because in some way, you’re also not okay here. Some people need space, others need comfort…Y/N is safe in the house and for once, after all these anxiety attacks I’ve witnessed, she asked for space” Rick gave a small smile to Daryl in the sense of there’s been improvement, but that didn’t stop the worry from brewing inside the archer. “Take the opportunity and if you change your mind about the party? Everybody else will be there”

Daryl watches the retired sheriff walk past as he looks over to his home finding Y/N turned away from the window holding herself. For a second he wanted to go on and check on her, but decided to listen to Rick.

Even if listening to him this time brought an unsettling feeling in his stomach.

The party started when the sunset and Daryl found himself watching from outside. He never felt like he fitted in with these types of crowds. The social people. Those who host parties and make charcuterie boards. It was weird how old world this place was.

When he stepped away and started to make his way back to the house Aaron the one who brought them in, stopped him to talk. This talk lead to being invited for dinner then a good thing to come out of this place…a bike frame. He can feel like his old self and make a new bike after losing the other one to the prison collapse.

But right before he left, Daryl stepped into the kitchen hesitantly but catching Eric’s attention.

“Did you need something?”

“If it’s uh…not too much” Daryl usually never has this much trouble, it’s just. Talking to new people.

Eventually Daryl got the leftovers he asked for after finally getting it out of him along with who it’s for. But when he entered the still very empty house, because of the party, he didn’t find Y/N instantly. She didn’t take a room in the Grimes’s residence, Carol offered a room in hers for her. She was in there last he saw her.

He checked everywhere.

The rooms, the kitchen, the garage, even the small areas in the front and back of the house. It should’ve been more obvious to check Carol’s but even when he looked in her place, she wasn’t instantly found. Which brought his anxiety to be vocal.

“Y/N?” He calls out, not receiving an immediate reply back. “Y/N!” He didn’t mean to shout knowing that would scare her but he was getting to an extreme level that will most likely be taken out on one of Deanna’s sons. They weren’t all that welcoming and he noticed how sad that made his partner.

A few more calls and Daryl eventually stopped in the kitchen to put away the plate in the fridge when he heard the sniffling.

“You didn’t hear me call you back?” Her hushed whisper still made it to Daryl’s ears as he quickly rounds the kitchen island to the dinning table crouching to find her sobbing in her curled position.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry” Daryl frowns bringing himself to sit on the floor and scooting up to her watching her uncurl to wrap her arms around his neck. He gently brought his around her waist pulling her into his lap as she wraps her legs around his torso. “I’m usually better at finding yea but this place is too new…”

“We aren’t used to it” Y/N finished while hiding her face in the crook of his neck for a moment.

Daryl held her for as long as she needed even if that lasted til Carol returned a few hours later. She didn’t say anything, only gave a look to the archer that if they needed anything to just call her, before heading upstairs to sleep.

But after a little while longer of being under the table, the two eventually moved out from under it and Daryl kept Y/N close the rest of the night which led them to the room she claimed. Y/N laid on top of Daryl as he gently grazes his fingers against her back in a soothing motion.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“It just…happened” Y/N frowns bringing herself to look at Daryl and his worried expression. “I feel so stupid…”

“You’re not stupid. You’re never stupid for bein’ anxious, sunshine” Daryl gently brushes the hair out of the way of her face watching her sadden expression last. “Sometimes we can’t control how we feel…just be glad yea ain’t quick to anger like some of us”

“You have reasons for your anger. A pen could drop on hard wood flooring and my mind could think someone is breaking in” Y/N laughed at her own problems which Daryl didn’t exactly like but he hasn’t heard her laugh in some time. As she rests her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head holding her a bit tighter.

“You feel safe with me…and our family. Everybody is unsettled in this place and it’ll take time to get used to it. You’re never at fault for your anxiety…I’ll remind yea everyday if I have to”

“Yeah?”

“I promise, sunshine” Daryl kissed her once more, leading her to lift her head and bring herself up so that she could kiss his lips which brought a hum from his chest. “I’ll always keep yea safe, too. From everything”

“What did I do to deserve you?” Y/N smiles bringing her head back to lay on his chest as he held her close with a hint of a smile gracing his features.

“By being you”

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction

[hischeapcigar]

strawberries and cigarettes part 2

Pre-outbreak Joel Miller x reader 

Part: 1 2 3 4

Summary: you're falling in love with the person your dad hates the most  

Word count: 4.1k 

Warning: none except your father is a bit deranged so maybe that's all, and a little angst  🚬

a/n: it was supposed to be cute little one shot but i think it's gonna be series lolol. reblogs and comments are appreciated. love you mwah. AND OMG thankyouuuuu all who showed love to the first part but as a gift I got some angst oops. 🍓🍓

“What place?” you were confused,    

“Y’gonna love it, trus’ me” a small smirk growing in the corner of his lips   

-  

The rest of the ride was silent, unlike your mind. And probably unlike Joel's too. He was nervous as if this was gonna fix what he damaged.  

You were hyper aware of the situation; it was the first time ever that you and Joel were alone without anyone passing by. It was dark with the truck’s headlights pouring light on the road ahead.   

You should be scared, you should be unsure, you shouldn’t trust him. But you do. You feel safe, you feel warm, you feel protected.   

There’s only anxiety about the unknown place you’re headed, about the things that Joel’s gonna talk to you about. While you were still contemplating, knowing Joel would turn the wheels if you told him to, but a part of you, the bigger part of you, wanted to listen him out.  

Joel was silent beside you, and you were looking out the window. It was a different area, you had never been there before. It was almost laughable how blindly you trusted Joel that you let him take you anywhere. You knew you’d follow, even your broken heart didn’t matter.   

Why did the universe have to put you in such a position? Your dad dislikes him so much that you can’t even look at Joel in the presence of your dad. It was too painful. Just a small fight over a stupid job, that did not even include you, was pulling you away from Joel.  

Joel took a turn in between two wheat fields, the rain hadn’t slowed down, or the wind was too strong. The field was illuminated by the faint moonlight. He drove between the fields until it opened to a boundless empty field accompanied by a small hut in the middle.   

Joel parked a little distance away from the fence surrounding the hut. There was a yellow bulb lit outside the small shed. You had not a single clue why you were here in the middle of nowhere. You hadn’t even let your parents know but they still hadn’t called so it was safe till’ now, you guessed.  

Joel calmly pulled you out of your thoughts, “We’re here”  

You still looked around, not sure what exactly what you were looking for,   

And as if Joel read your thoughts,   

“I- uh, well this is my friend’s place,” he scratched the back of his head, nervous,” he showed me ‘round and well if it wasn't rainin, ya woulda adored it-”   

He paused abruptly, taking in the confused look etched on your face not knowing where this was going,   

“Can you give me minute,” he asked, not really seeking your affirmation because he was already opening the lock to his door,   

“No! Joel-” he opened the door, wind spraying rainwater inside the car as he got out, quickly shutting it  

 “Joel!” Panic settled in your body as you watched him cross the truck and walk further on the left. He took a big step, obviously stepping over border, but it was dark enough to see what laid there   

You watched him, his hair ruffling with the wind, he bent down and did God knows what. He sat there for a few more minutes as if plucking something before he got up and ran his way back.   

You were prepared to scold him for his reckless behavior, but the words fell short as soon as he got in the car, surprisingly he wasn't dripping wet like you expected. Your eyes were wide, not because of his state but what he held in his hands.   

Strawberries   

“Joel-” you spoke softly, eyeing the strawberries in his hands  

You hastily produced a tissue from your purse, placing the strawberries between both of you.  

He just looked at you with adoration, a streak of water falling from his hair down to his face, smile ghosting over his lips   

Suddenly you looked up at him, displaying small frown, “you can’t just go out like that, it’s dark and raining and what if-”  

“‘s mostly the wind not the rain, and ‘m just tryna make it up to you, darlin” he sighed as your eyes locked  

Darling   

It slipped off his tongue before he could stop himself, surprising both you and himself. Both staring at each other with eyes slightly wide.   

You closed your eyes, supporting your head on the headrest, suddenly remembering why you were there at first place,   

The flashbacks playing over in your mind. Instantly, you realize that you're sitting with the man who broke your heart a week ago. Disappeared without explanation, leaving you to worry about the worst. The way you cried your heart out when you missed him at night, or how you had to keep your voice from shaking every time a coworker asked you about Joel. How you had to resist the urge to go up to Sarah and ask her about her dad.   

You opened your eyes again, they were glossy and held so much pain, that Joel winced internally. You shifted your gaze to the window behind him, watching the droplets of water falling. The rain had eased off  

“I-” he wanted to comfort you, but he forgot every sentence he practiced of his monologue,   

“Why?” you asked, barely a whisper, bringing your eyes up to meet his again. Guilt was flowing in his warm brown eyes.   

“Your father showed up at my house, he uh-” unable to choose the right words, but there were no right words, “he gave me a black eye” he shrugged, letting out a dry chuckle,   

Eyes wide, your mouth opened and closed like a fish, not knowing what to say, but Joel beat you to it,   

“The day after he showed up at the cafe, I went to your place, to resolve things with him once and for all, brought wine an’ all, but he wasn’t home so I told your mom to give him my message,” he formed air quotes “‘let’s start off again and put the past in the past’”  

“He showed up at night, screaming at me, grabbing my collar, threatening me not to be around you. That if I was seen ‘round ya, he would make it miserable, make you leave the job and ground you-”   

You couldn't believe your ears. If you didn’t know any better, you wouldn’t accept Joel’s words. But you did. You knew what your dad was capable of.   

“-I tried to tell him that you were a grown up and completely capable of making your own choices and that’s when he,” Joel mimicked punching his face   

“Black eye”   

Your throat was dry as you tried to adjust to the new information, tears welling up in your eyes  

He showed up at my place to make peace with a maniac like dad for my sake. Knowing damn well how dad is, knowing dad beat up a man on the counter only because he wasn't working fast enough, Joel still tried to give him a chance.  

 He got beaten up because of you.   

For you.  

He avoided the cafe because of you.   

For you  

You were ashamed. Guilt-ridden. You felt responsible.  

You tried to find your voice, to keep the tears at bay, to tell him how much you’re sorry,  

“Joel I-” even you couldn't recognize your voice, so small, like you had a barbed wire tightened around your throat.    

He took a deep breath, “look I'm only tellin’ you all this, so y’know the reasons why I did what I did, I’m sorry I left without lettin’ ya know but, I-” he sighed, “I’m sorry,”   

After all that happened, after he took a hit for you, he’s the one still sorry?   

Your vision was glossy, Joel’s figure was nothing but a blur. You blinked and tears broke through your eyes, falling freely down your cheeks,   

Joel didn’t see your silent tears, too busy avoiding eye contact until you whimpered ever so softly, and his eyes shot up at your frame; shaking your head, looking down, tears staining your cheeks. You lifted your hands to wipe but he was quicker,   

“Hey, hey sweetheart, don't cry, don't cry” he whispered as he gently cradled your face and wiped the tears with his thumb. His other hand supported his weight as he slightly inclined his body towards you.   

You would've frozen at the close intimacy, at the feeling of his warm skin on yours, but the information in your head was haunting.   

You leaned in his hand without thinking, letting yourself find calm in his warmth,  

“Should’ve told me, Joel-” your words were muffled, your throat was tightened, you were disgusted with your own father, “-woulda fought him,”   

“No, no, I wouldn’t let you,” he shushed you, wiping every fresh string of tears, your hand holding his wrist.   

You looked up at him, Joel thought he could stop breathing, your eyes carried a storm of guilt and sadness mixed with anger   

“Woulda told him you weren’t at fault” your voice was still small though the tears had ceased.  

He bought you closer, resting your forehead on his.   

“Listen to me darlin’, it woulda caused more trouble. He hates me already. Imagine seeing his daughter defend the same man? Watcha think he’d do? Hmm?”   

“He’d kill me” he said a bit dramatically, widening his eyes, obtaining a sniff followed by a chuckle out of you, his favorite sound in the whole world.   

You shook your head as you pulled away, you sat back in the seat, back against the window, body facing Joel’s who was mirroring your position.   

You both sat there facing each other, strawberries in between both of you. He cocked his head, urging you to grab a strawberry, you reached and grabbed one. You took a bite, and it erupted in your mouth. It was so sweet and juicy that you took the whole strawberry in your mouth.   

You opened your eyes to see Joel looking back at you with admiration, you were flustered under his gaze.   

“It wasn’t washed, y’know?” he said   

“What do you mean, rain didn’t wash it?” You shot back, reaching for another one after Joel took his.   

A moment of silence as you both ate strawberries  

Joel took out the packet of cigarettes from his pocket, putting one between his lips before lighting it up. He rolled the window down to save you both from exhaustion. He exhaled out, and God did he look so divine covered in smoke.  

“So,” you broke the silence, “what do we do?” you gestured towards the both of you. Before you extended your hand for Joel to hand you the cigarette,  

I don't share my cigs. He wanted to say, but he passed it wordlessly, as he watched you put your lips on the cigarette, something stirring in him watching you like that,  

He sighed, “I don't know, I mean I tried talkin’, didn’t work, and uh, I really don't wanna let ya go, not again, it was hella depressin”   

“Can we meet somewhere else?” you suggested   

“This could be our place; we could meet at nighttime if that’s okay for you-”   

“It is. It is” you assured him. Because your parents didn’t care enough to note the time you return home, judging by the fact they still hadn’t called, like usual.   

“You sure?” he hesitated, but you knew he was only looking out for you  

“Yes Joel, I mean it’s only a couple of months before I move to Los Angeles, once I move out, they won’t dictate me, I can choose who I spend my time with,” you nodded as you dragged another hit, passing it to Joel.  

 before I move to Los Angeles  

 before I move to Los Angeles  

 before I move to Los Angeles  

His brain stopped working after those words left your mouth, but he tried his best to recover. It had only been a few weeks since you both started seeing each other. There wasn't even any label to your relationship, still it tugged at his heart.   

He didn’t let any emotion give him away and just hummed in response, taking puffs from the cigarette  

You both sat there, munching on strawberries and taking turns with cigarettes. His truck was filled with the fruity aroma and smoke, along with the faint, musky, earthy smell of rain.   

“Ready to go back?” he asked  

No. I want to spend the night with you while I can.   

 You nodded, “yes,”   

You sat back, facing the windshield,   

—------  

The next night he showed up at the cafe, a few minutes before your closing call. You quickly wound up and locked the doors. He was leaning against his truck just like the night before. You walked up to him, he pushed himself up and met you halfway.   

He hesitantly held your waist; he was unsure if he could greet you the same way after the distance. But when you didn’t pull away, he wrapped his arms around you, your arms flew around his neck.   

He nuzzled his face in your neck, inhaling deeply your scent. You shivered at the closeness, engulfed in his musky smell of cigarette and whisky. Something like home. Something natural. Something real.   

There was something so intimate about this. Enveloped in his big arms in the dark, when no one is looking at you.  

You both stayed there caged in each other's arms before you pulled away. Joel helped you get in before he got in.   

Getting in the vehicle, he drove to the same spot but this time you both got out of the truck to see the small garden of strawberry vines.   

Joel followed you, a small blanket in his hand which he laid out in the mud beside the garden. He sat down, extending his hand for you to take, which you gladly did.   

Joel looked so beautiful in the faint light of streetlights and the yellow bulb of the small hut nearby. Under the starry sky, surrounded by cool breeze and no one else. You could be yourself again, just like you did in those moments in the cafe with Joel. Though this was better, away from prying eyes.   

You both sat across from each other as Joel lit the cigarette and passed it to you before taking a drag.   

Your heart danced as you saw him pass the cigarette without you asking. Your lips wrapping around where his were.   

“How long before your closing shift ends?” he asked   

You exhaled the smoke, “next week” you replied,  

He hummed  

“How’s Sarah's school? Haven't talked to her in a while…” you inquired  

“‘S okay, exams comin up, gettin stressed,” he puffed out the smoke, before asking, “how’s everything in the cafe?”   

You both talked for hours about his friend owning fields, about the weather, about cows, smoked a few cigarettes together, content in each other’s company.   

Before it was midnight, you both cleaned the mess and got back in his truck. Drive back was silent but Joel’s thoughts were loud,   

 before I move to Los Angeles  

He wanted to ask you what the relationship meant to you but always bit his tongue.   

before I move to Los Angeles  

He shook his head to get rid of the aching thought, grabbing your attention.  

“You okay, Joel?” you had Joel tattooed in your brain. You were always thinking about him, he made the flowers, in your chest, bloom.   

His head remained still, no, the thought of you leaving is eating me alive. What do I mean to you? What does this mean to you? He knew if he looked at you, he’d come undone  

“Yes, of course sweetheart,” his heart warming at you worrying about him  

Your eyes fell to his hand gripping the steering wheel so tight, you were scared he could pull it out. The free hand on his lap was slightly trembling.   

You knew something was bothering him, but you knew better than to push him. But you wished he’d let you in completely,  

Carefully, you approached his free hand on his lap, tracing your index finger on the side before covering his big hand with your petite one.   

You held your breath, waiting for him to pull away,  

Head spinning to the connected hands, his breath hitched. He felt goosebumps running down his spine.  He felt like he couldn’t move, like if he took one wrong move, this all would shatter.   

With calculated breaths, he calmed his body down and carefully turned his palm around, interlacing your fingers with his.   

You let out a small sigh of relief, as you peeked at him. Both his hands were at ease, there was a ghost of a smile dancing at his lips. His lips. They looked so plump, you wondered how it would be like to just kiss him? Just have his lips on your own.   

You wanted to reach out and turn his head and kiss him.  

You just wished the ride would never end, but of course like waking up from a good dream,  

 He parked at a distance from your house to be safe from nosey neighbors. You pulled back your hand, immediately missing the warmth. He watched you as you unbuckle the seatbelt, you looked up at him,   

“Same time, tomorrow?” you asked   

Can I kiss you? His heart was screaming. Unintentionally his gaze fell to your lips, and he physically resisted himself to jump out the car, grab your face and kiss you.   

He closed his eyes tightly, nodding,  

“Same time, tomorrow.”   

He stayed until he was sure you made it to your house safely.  

-  

The next week went like this. He picked you from the cafe to the haven as you’d like to call it, smoked a cigarette or two, plucked a strawberry or two, talked for hours, and dropped you back home.   

Somedays you would pack a small pastry, or cupcake or any snack for Joel that you would share in the night.    

On your way back, his hand would silently make its way over to you, so you could interlace your fingers.  

-  

It was the first day of your morning shift in the cafe. The day was usual, except that you met Sarah after a long time. You packed a butter vanilla pancake for Joel and handed it to Sarah.   

You were home by evening. Your dad had thrown a tantrum about some guy in work, how he was not the ‘right person for the job’, but you felt bad for the unknown man. You locked yourself in your room, daydreaming about long nights with Joel.   

Nighttime fell, you were nervous as to how you would leave your house. Daylight was too risky for the haven, so you had to stick with the nighttime. The clock strikes 11:30 and your phone chimed, it was Joel,  

J- “I’m here”   

You ran to your window to see the silhouette of Joel getting out of the car at the corner of the street. You put on your shoes and rushed downstairs. Your parents had already gone to their bedroom, and you had a clear way out. Adrenaline rushed in your veins, it was thrilling to be this old and sneaking like a high school girl.   

You walked up to him but instead of falling into each other’s embrace, he opened the door for you right away, eyes skimming around for any creeping neighbors.  

And the routine began again. Talk, smoke, eat, leave and of course silent small touches during the drives.  

Each night you both silently fight your inner selves, keeping yourselves from reaching out to the other and stealing a kiss. Each night he stared at your lips when you weren't looking and you stared at his’ when he looked away 

-  

The next day, you were busy with orders when Sarah showed up with a box in her hand which she placed on the counter,   

“For you,” she smiled her cheeky smile  

You raised your brows as you reached for the small box, “what do we have here?” you started unpacking it  

“You know Mrs. Ivy, right? she visited us last night, dad wasn’t home, said he had something important to do,” you bit the small smile that crept up to your lips, he was with me, “she was obviously very disappointed, so she left the cake,”   

You hummed and nodded to her explanation as she continued, “I told dad about it the morning, he saw it was strawberry flavored, so he packed half of it for you,” you swore your face was dipped in a shade of scarlet color, your heart fluttered at the act  

You couldn't help but smiled at the girl, “thank you, Sarah” you said before putting the box away in the mini fridge   

   Sarah hung out with you for a while as she ranted about Mrs. Ivy’s constant visits. A punch in your gut but you didn’t let it show 

-  

“And Mrs. Ivy?” you asked, jerking the ash off the cigarette.  

You both were sitting on the small blanket, a few cigarette butts scattered with leaves of strawberries.  

“What ‘bout her?” he took the cigarette from you, a slight annoyance in his tone  

You smirked, getting exactly what you wanted, “Well,” you sang, “Sarah mentioned she’s throwing herself on you,” you reached out for the cigarette, but he pulled it away from your reach, as he stared at you with an unamused look,   

You pushed yourself up and closer to him, to get the cigarette from him, he kept pulling away with you chasing,  

“What? Why don’t you give her a chance- Joel gimme the cigarette,” you leaned in on him, your vision zeroing on the burning end of the cigarette as you tried to reach out again,  

“What do you mean by ‘chance’?” he asked,   

Do you really don’t think of him as anything more than a friend? Why else would you sneak out with him? Did you really want him to be with someone else?   

Caught up with his thoughts, his hand supporting him gave up; he lay back on his elbow. His other arm pushed out from both of your bodies, still not letting you take the cigarette until he gets the answer  

The cigarette had your full attention. It felt like a competition of him pulling away and you chasing, nothing else. And you were determined to get the cigarette, not caring about what position you ended up in,  

“Apparently she’s been showing up at your house in the broad daylight, bring you cakes” you pushed his torso, so he was laying on back. One of your hands on his chest while the other reaching for his hand that he stuck out.   “And god knows what-”   

And in the split second he grabbed the tiny detail he was missing, the hint of jealousy in your tone.   

You looked at him when he didn’t respond, suddenly becoming aware of the situation you both were in.   

He caught you stealing a glance at his lips, because when you met his eyes again, there was an inkling of glint and mischief. Your cheeks were a deep shade of scarlet that were visible even in darkness  

You thought about pushing yourself up, embarrassed, but Joel’s free hand, the one without the cigarette, reached up and settled at your waist.  

You didn't miss the way his calloused skin accidentally brushed the sliver of your skin of your waist that showed because of your shirt riding up when you pushed yourself on him,   

Shiver ran down your spine, heart thundering in your chest. But you felt the same fast beating heart beneath your fingertips on Joel’s chest.   

Joel brought the cigarette to your lips, which you inhaled keeping heated eye contact with him.   

“Darlin’ you don't get it, do you?” he smirked, eyes falling to your lips, before looking back up,  

You gulped, everything around you slowed down, and when you saw him staring at your lips for a second, you trembled.   

“Get what?” you whispered    

He wet his lips with his tongue,   

“That you drive me crazy,” his hand slowly moved up from your waist with every word he spoke,  

“That the thoughts about you have consumed my mind, wholly and fully, that you make me want to take a hit and not regret it,” his hand rested on the back your neck,   

His breath fanned your lips. You were taking your time wrapping your head around his confession, staring at his lips and the way you or him inched closer with every word,  

“Kiss me, Joel-”   

Part: 1 2 3

Tags:  @strawberri-blonde 🍓 @lumoverheaven 🚬 @skysmiller 🍓@ashleymsnodgrass 🚬 @bandluvr97 🍓 @brie-annwyl 🚬 @jasminedragoon 🍓 @violinchick 🚬 @alexisvs-world 🍓 @sloanexx 🚬 @elissaaa 🍓 @my-tearsricochet 🚬 @ifall4dilfs 🍓 @sushiumex 🚬 @kittenlittle24 🍓 @paleidiot 🚬 @wintersquirrel 🍓 @n7cje 🚬 @plantdaddy3 🍓 @meshlasolus 🚬@avengersinitiative2012 🍓

#im never getting over #joel miller #or #the last of us #soft joel miller #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller tlou #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us #pre outbreak!joel #the last of us hbo #joel x reader #pedro pascal edit #pedro pascal fan fic

[proxima-writes]

title: miss me in your bones | chapter 2

chapter 1

pairing: dbf/neighbor!joel miller/female reader

rating: explicit (18+ MDNI)

word count: 1961

summary:

When Joel Miller started his own contracting business, he didn’t expect all the administrative tasks that came with it. As a result, his budding business is in desperate need of help.

Good thing his best friend’s daughter is home for the summer from college. And sure, he’s always been attracted to you, but he can keep that under control.

It’s just one summer, right?

author’s note: slow burn? i don’t know her. if you enjoyed this chapter, please consider reblogging or commenting! and if you're so inclined, you can also send me coffee

AO3 | Joel Miller Masterlist

content warnings/tags: explicit sexual content (18+ MDNI), age gap (21f and 36m), no cordyceps outbreak, Joel is not a father, Joel's feelings of guilt about being attracted to his best friend's daughter, sexual tension, voyeurism, mutual masturbation, mild jealousy, pineapple as a pizza topping. let me know if there are any missing!

By the end of your first day in Joel’s office, you’ve managed to sort all the stray papers into more manageable categories and have booted up the ancient laptop he had gathering dust on the desk.

You’re sitting cross legged on the floor of the office when he comes home, surrounded by the fruits of your labor. He knocks on the doorframe to announce his arrival.

“How’s it goin’?” Joel asks. He’s rumpled from his day, shirt wrinkled and still damp from sweat earned in the Texas heat. 

Christ.

“It’s good! I’ve got most of these organized. Do you have any finance software you’re using?” You ask.

His brow furrows. “Uh…no. Should I?”

“You’re running a business, you gotta have some way of doing invoices and tracking expenses versus payments.”

“I’ve got a notebook for that.” He looks around the room. “Somewhere.”

The stare you give him is unimpressed. “I’ll start with Excel, but I expect a subscription to Quickbooks by the end of the week,” you tell him. He gives you a quick nod. 

“Listen, you gettin’ hungry? I was goin’ to order pizza,” he says. You shift around, sitting up on your knees. 

“Pizza sounds good.”

Joel doesn’t reply. He stands there with his hands at his sides, dark eyes fixed on where you’re kneeling in front of him on the floor. You’re aware of the image you must make, denim shorts riding up your thighs as you spread your knees the tiniest bit further, watching as Joel’s eyes track the movement and his Adam’s Apple bobs with a strained swallow.

The tension in the room is palpable, pressing on your chest and making it difficult to breathe. After what seems like forever, Joel shakes his head and holds a hand out to you, tight smile on his lips.

“Come on, let’s get that pizza going and you can tell me what else I’m doing wrong,” he says. You grip his hand, palm warm and rough against yours as he hauls you to your feet with little effort. The action brings your bodies close together, your chest brushing his as he looks down at you. “Pepperoni and pineapple?”

“You remember,” you reply, voice more breathy than it ought be around this man. 

“‘Course I do, darlin’,” he says, taking a broad step back, his hand slipping from yours. “How could I forget?”

________

You’re sitting across from Joel at his kitchen table, eating your slice of pizza as you make notes on a piece of paper of all the things that Joel needs to get his office and business in order.

“Why don’t you just come with me to the supply store? Go wild,” he says, biting into his own slice of pizza. 

“Don’t threaten me with a good time if you don’t mean it, Mr. Miller.”

“Told ya to call me Joel.”

You blink at him. “Sorry. Joel.”

Joel lets the sound of his name on your lips wash over him. He wants to hear it more. 

“We can go tomorrow mornin’. I don’t have any consults ‘til later. That work?”

“Sure.” You wipe your mouth with a napkin and stand, bringing your plate to the sink and tossing away your garbage. “I better head home. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Have a good night,” Joel says. You look at him over your shoulder as you leave the kitchen, smile bright.

“Oh, I will.”

Joel’s brow furrows as he wonders what that means. Did you have plans? Would you be going out somewhere? With someone?

And why does he care? 

________

The thing about being Joel Miller’s neighbor is that you know the man isn’t one for keeping his blinds closed. When you were seventeen, you remember peeking into his bedroom, conveniently located across from your window, and seeing a shirtless Joel getting ready in the morning, or watching him step into a pair of fitted Wranglers, his deft fingers buttoning the denim at his work-toned waist.

When you get back home, you slide the sheer white curtains covering your bedroom window apart. Joel’s room is currently dark and empty, but that gives you time to prepare. Your dad is at his weekly poker game with some guys from the garage, leaving you a house that will be empty until the early morning hours.

You toss your bag on your bed and rifle through your still-packed luggage, digging out the baby pink lingerie set you’d packed on a whim.

Hey, you never know. And boy are you glad that you brought it.

Because you had a plan. 

You were going to seduce Joel Miller.

The signs were all there. The man was attracted to you, and god knows you’ve had it bad for your dad’s best friend since you were still a teen. What’s a little harm in acting on your impulses?

Especially when they could lead to reward.

You strip out of your shorts and t-shirt, switching your more practical underwear for the lingerie -  a thong consisting of barely enough fabric to be considered clothing and a sweet matching balconette bra with an overlay of lace that makes your tits look fantastic. You check yourself out in the mirror before pulling your clothes back on.

Now you wait.

________

Joel heads to his bedroom around 9 pm, the day finally catching up to him and leaving him yawning with exhaustion. His mind wanders back to you, conjuring up the image of you on your knees, looking up at him through your lashes. He palms his cock with a groan as he enters his room.

He flicks on the lamp, bathing the room with a warm glow. Movement across the yard catches his eye and he’s surprised to see you in bed, laying on your belly with a book spread open in front of you and your feet kicking behind you. Your window is open and you’ve got something playing on speaker that he can’t recognize. 

You turn over, arching your back as you hold the book above you. Joel’s eyes trace the curve of your body, the way your shirt tightens across your breasts and lifts just enough to show a strip of your tummy over your denim shorts. He can feel his cock getting harder now, the press of it more urgent against the fly of his pants as he stands near the window, mesmerized by you.

You set the book aside, standing beside your bed with your back to the window. Your fingers curl under the hem of your shirt and lift it over your head, tossing it to the ground. He gets a brief glimpse of your baby pink bra strap before his eyes are drawn to watch as you shimmy your shorts over your hips and down your thighs.

Joel’s breathing hitches, caught in his throat as he takes in the sight of you in only a thong, your ass on full display for his hungry eyes. He shifts closer to the window, trying to keep himself out of the direct line of sight.

You stretch your arms above your head, turning as you do so, and Joel gets his first glimpse of your breasts and the way they’re barely contained by the cups of the bra you’re wearing, pink lace highlighted by smooth, luscious skin. 

Joel’s mouth goes dry as he watches you crawl back on the bed, ass swaying with your movements as you get yourself comfortable on your back. 

Your hands start out by cupping your breasts, pulling the little fabric cups down just far enough to expose your tight little nipples. You pinch the buds between your fingers, your back arching into the sensation. Joel has to press a hand to the wall to support himself.

Your mouth drops open in a moan as you play with your tits, twisting and pinching and groping yourself. Joel hardly dares to blink as your hands finally move on, trailing down your torso until your fingers dip beneath the waistband of the scrap of fabric trying to act as panties. Your back arches sharply and Joel commits the visage of your first touch to your needy little pussy to his memory.

He unbuttons his pants, shoving them down his thighs along with his boxers until they sit around his knees. He doesn’t want to look away for even a second to remove them further. This will have to do.

Your fingers circle your clit and he desperately wishes it was him feeling the slick slide of your cunt. Would you like it fast? Slow? Rough or gentle? He wants to find out every rhythm that makes you see stars.

You scramble to pull your panties off, tossing them to the floor in a rush to get your hands back to work. Your right hand stays pressed between your thighs while your left returns to pinching and pulling at your little nipples. Joel spits in his hand, fisting his cock with a harsh grip and giving it a single tug that has his knees going weak. He has to dig his teeth into his lip to fight back the groan that wants to escape.

You spread your legs obscenely wide, giving him a better view of the way your hand moves across your pussy. The fast circles you use to treat your clit, followed by the slow swipes to bring yourself back from the edge. He can practically see the way your empty cunt flutters around nothing, begging to be filled.

By him. Begging to be filled by him.

Christ, this is depraved. He shouldn’t be watching this. He shouldn’t be looking at his best friend’s daughter and thinking about how it would feel to sink his cock so deep inside he wouldn’t know where your body started and his ends.

His hand starts to move faster, twisting on the upstroke so that his palm glides over the sensitive, leaking tip of his cock. Your hips are moving frantically now, chasing your hand and the pleasure it’s giving you. You slip a finger inside and Joel can hear the moan you let out. He has to bite his lip so goddamn hard he tastes copper on his tongue so that he doesn’t echo your shouts of pleasure.

Your one finger becomes two, plunging inside of you with abandon as your chest heaves with ragged breaths. Joel can feel his orgasm building at a fever pitch and he silently begs for you to reach yours before he does.

Like the universe hears his plea, your legs snap shut around your hand and you shake with your release. He can see the quiver of your thighs and the way your mouth drops open in a moan.

“Joel!” You cry out. For a moment, he worries he’s been caught. But your eyes are closed, head pressed to the mattress as you ride out your orgasm.

Joel barely has enough time to cup his free hand over his cock, catching the streams of come in his palm as his orgasm hits him like a train, the sound of his name on your lips doing him in.

He sags against the wall as he tries to catch his breath. Finally, he uses his clean hand to pull his jeans back up his hips so that he can go to the bathroom and clean up.

When he returns to the bedroom, your curtains are notably closed. Joel swallows nervously.

Fuck. How the hell is he supposed to look you in the eye tomorrow, knowing what you look like when you come? Knowing what his name sounds like cried out from your lips?

He flops back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with sleep creeping at the edges of his vision.

That’s tomorrow’s problem.

Joel Miller taglist:

@huffle-punk @johnwatsn @hopelessromantic727  @whereasport @pedr0swh0r3 @yellingloudly @dragon-of-winterfelll @thedeadsingwithdirtintheirmouths @mydailyhyperfixations @liati2000 @ghostofjoharvelle @cutesyscreenname @morgaussy @letsgroovetonighttt @endlessthxxghts @fake-bleach @brilliantopposite187 @mattmurdock1021 @str84pedro @justsomeoneovertherainbow @loquaciousferret @milly-louise @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @kirsteng42 @caatheeriinee07 @eternallyvenus @midnightswithdearkatytspb @evyiione @leeeesahhh @tloubarbie @afterglowsb-tch13 @loveliestofthoughts @theviewfromtheritz @brittmb115 @uncassettodiricordi @pedritosgfreal @adriennemichelle98 @mxtokko @gingersince97 @switchbladedreamz @casa-boiardi @tonysterco @rvjaa @ladymunson @sexpoisoned @trisaratops-mcgee @decemberdolly @spookyemorockbabe @reader-without-a-story @katmoonz @simping-soldat @mswarriorbabe80 @orphanbird95 @shatteredbaby @tusk89 @gingersince97 @mssbridgerton @internetobsessed1234-blog @sloanexx @manazo

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fanfiction #no use of y/n #joel miller x you #joel tlou #joel x reader #joel x female reader #joel miller tlou #tlou fic

[dilfspitdrinker]

Let The Light In | Joel Miller x reader

Description: You’ve been babysitting Joel Miller’s daughter all summer. No matter now much you try to deny it, you know you’re into him. But it’s just a little crush that you thought could never be reciprocated, until one fateful phone call. The shift between you two is irresistible, and you’re in for more than you ever anticipated. A/N: I love the babysitter trope lol, also pre outbreak Joel makes me feral. Basically, I couldn't resist writing and posting this, it's lived in the notes app for long enough. Masterlist Chapter 2

Chapter 1

You listened to the rings intently, praying that Joel would pick up the phone but dreading the moment he does.

The fresh night breeze swept over you the moment you swung open the door, exiting the frat house. You didn’t know when it had started raining, but you didn’t care, it was still better than the suffocating atmosphere inside.

Joel answered on the fourth ring, “Hey, is something wrong?” The worry in his voice was apparent, and you couldn’t help but feel a little pathetic for having to ask this.

“I’m so sorry to bother you Joel, I know it’s late but… do you think you could pick me up?”

Before you could even explain yourself, he responded, “Of course I can, where are you?”

You told him the address, watching people stumble out of the door. You wrapped an arm around yourself, as if that could shield you from the downpour.

“Alright darlin’, I’ll be right there, stay put.”

“Okay, please hurry, I’m hoping to leave without anyone noticing-“

Bursting out the door was the guy you came here with, his whole demeanor looking irritated and volatile. He caught your gaze and walked over to you, feigning a more cool attitude.

“Hey, that’s where you went! Come on, the party’s inside,” he tried tugging you along, but you took a step back.

“I’ll be right in, I’m talking to one of my friends,” you attempted a smile, desperate to not provoke his anger.

He raised an eyebrow, “Your friend a chick?”

In a split second you decided that maybe you shouldn’t give any indication that you’re actually asking a grown ass man to come get you. The only response you could manage: “Yeah.”

“Cool, tell her to pull up,” he started walking back towards the door, “and hurry up, I got a drink waiting for you babe.”

Only after he closed the door did you go back to your phone conversation. “Sorry about that.”

“Who was that?��� Joel’s voice turned low and serious.

“The guy I came here with,” you sighed, embarrassed.

“Why’re you hanging around assholes like that?”

“I don’t know, I have a class with him and he randomly started talking to me and he didn’t seem so douchey at first. But I should’ve known he’d be the same as every other frat boy,” you rambled, excluding how he’d been trying to get you to drink since the minute you two showed up.

Joel’s tone softened a bit, “Don’t beat yourself up darlin’. Nothin’ wrong with trying to see the good in others, but that doesn’t mean you should overlook the negatives, either. I’m almost there, alright?”

He’d have to be going at least 20 over the speed limit to be almost here. You were about to insist that he slow down, be careful, if you’re gonna get me I need you to actually make it here. But the rain stopped you from protesting as the chill seeped into your bones. About an hour ago it was such a warm night, you decided to forgo a jacket. Heavily regretted that now as your clothes and hair quickly got soaked.

A few anxious and cold minutes later, a pair of headlights finally approached. You cut through the lawn to meet him as the black pick up truck rolled up next to the crowded driveway.

“Hey darlin’,” he greeted you as you climbed in. God, you poor thing, you looked like a wet puppy, it made him want to wrap you in a warm blanket and scoop you up.

“Hi Joel. Thank you so much for getting me, I know it’s late.”

“It’s no inconvenience to me, I was still awake anyway,” he glanced over at you, adding, “And I’m glad you know that I got you whenever you need me.”

You nodded, suppressing a smile. Once your seatbelt was on, he drove away, and a sense of relief washed over you.

You’d been babysitting Joel’s daughter Sarah all summer, and in that time you and Joel had really grown fond of each other. Not that either of you showed it much. He was your employer, and at least 10 years older than you anyway. At best, you figured he thought of you as family. Still, you didn’t want to push it, since it would be all too easy for the lines to get blurry, and you both knew that. But he clearly cared deeply for you, and would often remind you to call if you need anything, anytime. And tonight was the occasion. You’d only convinced yourself to dial Joel’s number by telling yourself that there wasn’t really anyone else you could call. You were still new to Austin, and hadn’t made any solid friends yet this early in the semester. Sarah was pretty much your best friend now, and Joel…

It was a conscious effort to keep him at arms length.

He broke the silence, “So, I didn’t really think frat parties were your thing.”

“They’re not. I was barely there for an hour and already looking for a way to leave,” you laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t know what I was thinking. At least I knew not to drink anything.”

“Very smart. Good job looking out for yourself there.” You noticed the way his calloused hands gripped the wheel. “That guy, does he know where you live?”

“Yeah,” you swallowed, thinking of the same worst case scenarios.

He paused for a minute, hoping this wouldn’t come out the wrong way, “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. I don’t want you staying at your place alone tonight. You can stay at mine, I’ll set up the pull out couch.”

The truck came to a stop at an otherwise deserted intersection. A left would lead to his place, continuing straight would take you to yours.

He turned to you, “What do you think?”

The suggestion caught you off guard. The thought of sleeping at his place filled you with a sort of nervous excitement, like you were about to do something you shouldn’t. It definitely felt like you’d be overstepping a very delicate boundary. But he offered, so it would be no harm, right?

“I just want to make sure you’re safe,” he added, voice earnest.

The light turned green. He waited for your response.

“Sounds good,” you nodded.

The truck took a left turn, and you two were silent for the rest of the ride.

At his house, you stood in the living room, feeling strangely out of place. You had been here so many times to look after Sarah, but being here without that purpose made you feel like an awkward guest.

Placing his keys on the coffee table, Joel said without looking at you, “Alright, you go take a shower, warm up. Take as long as you need.”

The statement made you red in the face, but you weren’t about to refuse. You’d had a shitty night, you needed this.

In the bathroom, you winced at yourself in the mirror. You were a bit of a mess, and became newly embarrassed that Joel had to see you so disheveled. Your hair was soaked from the rain, and you knew that would make it dry all frizzy. Couldn’t hurt to wash it, even though that would take some extra time… Joel did just tell you to take as much time as you need. But you already felt a little opportunistic for agreeing to stay the night at his house, you didn’t want to take advantage of his hospitality by hiking up his bills. You sighed at your reflection. Your clothes were dark with rainwater, and peeling them off made you shiver. Take as long as you need echoed in your mind. The way his voice had turned so gentle made you shiver too.

You turned the knob until the water was nice and steamy. Sweet relief. Felt like a warm hug. Don’t think about Joel hugging you. You took a look at the shampoo options. A bright pink bottle with a unicorn on it, obviously Sarah’s. Smelled like an artificial fruit salad. The bottle next to it was dark green, the label declaring cypress and mint. You went with that one, trying to ignore the fact that it’s Joel’s shampoo. Something about that felt a little too intimate.

Then came two gentle knocks at the door, followed by his voice, “I set out some dry clothes for you in my room. I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re ready.”

You sighed contently. You scrubbed your hair clean, soap and worries washing down the drain.

His room was right next to the bathroom, and out of sight from the kitchen. Wrapped in a towel, you scampered over to the bedroom.

There you saw some folded clothes set on the corner of the bed. Somehow it didn’t occur to you before that it would be his clothes. You slipped on the sweatpants, the extra fabric bunching around your ankles. The sleeves of the hoodie covered your hands entirely. Not allowing yourself to indulge your fantasies, instead you were a little mortified about this whole situation. You almost didn’t want to step out there and face him. But you had to, thinking it would be weird if you stayed in his room any longer.

As if to avoid creating a disturbance, you treaded lightly down the hall and rounded the corner into the kitchen. He was sitting at the small dining table, and quickly lifted his eyes.

He could hardly believe the sight before him. His clothes hanging loosely off your shoulders and hips. Hair still damp, framing your face. Straight out of his daydreams. Every time you came to look after Sarah, he secretly loved your little outfits and hairstyles, but you’ve never looked this good.

“Can I throw these in the dryer?” you asked, holding the bundle of your wet clothes.

His voice caught in his throat for a moment, “Of course-“

You already turned to do it yourself before he could offer. In the minute you were away, he noticed his heart beating faster than it should, and scolded himself.

Returning to the table, you eyed a plate of food that you hadn’t noticed before. “What’s all this?” you asked.

“Uh, sorry, it’s just leftovers, but I figured you might want something warm.”

You looked at him tenderly, voice soft, “Oh, Joel. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Taking a seat, you noticed that he sure was of course-ing all over the place tonight. You stared down at the reheated chicken and rice, wondering if he was uncomfortable.

From the corner of your eye, you saw the way he leaned in before asking, “You alright?”

You smiled a little, “Yeah, I just feel kinda bad for making you take me in.”

“You’re not makin’ me do anything.”

You lifted your eyes to meet his. God his eyes were gorgeous, just his stare was enough to charm you.

“Any plans for the rest of the weekend?” he asked.

You shook your head.

“Well if you’re not busy studying, I’m sure Sarah would would love to have you around. I’ll be here too, but I’ll still pay you.”

“You paying me just to hang around now?” you couldn’t stop yourself from grinning.

He chuckled, shaking his head. You finished your plate while you two talked about Sarah, her new friends, her plight with fractions. This felt more familiar, more comfortable.

He frowned, “Lately when I’ve been dropping her off at school, some boy is always there waitin’ to say hi.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that Joel. They’re like 12.”

“I know, it just gets me thinking about what it’ll be like when she’s in high school.”

“Cross that bridge when you get there.”

He sighed. “I just wish I knew what to expect.”

In that moment, you realized that this might be his roundabout way of opening up to you. You could only imagine how difficult it must be to navigate single fatherhood, especially having a daughter.

He cleared his throat. “I know this is none of my business, and you’re right, I don’t need to be worrying about it yet, but… do you have any boy advice for me?”

You laughed, maybe a little too loud, “You’re asking the wrong person, Joel. I’m not super experienced in that field.”

A playful glint appeared in his eyes that you’d never seen before. “What? Come on now, you’re too pretty to not have at least 10 boyfriends.”

You caught that, but shook your head.

“You tellin’ me you weren’t prom queen?”

“I was too dorky for that,” you waved him off.

“Well,” he leaned back in his chair, and your eyes skimmed over his broad shoulders, “here’s my boy advice for you.”

“I’m listening,” you grinned.

“Don’t hang around boys.”

“Gotcha,” you nodded, “so you’re saying I should go after men.”

He caught that, but dodged the implication. “Well, I’m sayin’ most of these college guys are still boys in here,” he tapped on his forehead.

“You’re telling me.”

He grabbed your now empty plate, and announced while placing it in the sink, “The room’s all yours when you’re ready.”

You looked at him with confusion across your face.

He motioned toward the hall, in the direction of his bedroom.

It finally dawned on you, he meant he’s going to sleep on the couch. Immediately you protested, “Joel. Come on. I’m not taking your room, the couch is fine-“

“No, no, no. This is not up for debate,” he pointed at you, “You need a good night’s rest.”

“Joel I’ll sleep fine on the cou-“

“I’m not fightin’ you on this.”

You stared at each other for a moment, a stand off you knew you’d lose. You finally cracked under his unrelenting gaze, but had to make one last effort, “You’ve done more than enough for me tonight.”

“I’d do damn near anything for you,” he couldn’t stop himself from confessing, but he almost didn’t care if it meant you’d take his bed. He’d never admit it, not even to himself, but he wanted you there, and not just because it was courteous to offer. To know that you were wrapped in his sheets, head cradled by his pillow, your breath filling his space.

You let out a sigh, “Fine.”

“Good. Thought I’d have to drag you.”

You chuckled, and in your mind flashed an image of him picking you up and tossing you onto the bed, oh God he’s so strong he could do that so easily-

You banished the thought, pulling yourself back to reality, but another idea invaded your mind. “Thank you so much Joel. I really owe you for this.”

“You don’t owe me nothin’. I’m glad you know that I’m here for you.”

If this whole situation hadn’t already overstepped a boundary, this certainly would, but you really couldn’t help yourself. You took a step forward, pulling him into a hug. Every nerve in his skin suddenly became hypersensitive to the feeling of your hands on his torso, moving to his back. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, then froze. You smelled like him. You, in his clothes. You, with his scent. You, in his arms. He could only hope that his heart wasn’t beating too loud.

You pulled away from each other, hands lingering a second longer than necessary.

“Sleep tight, darlin’.”

“You too.”

“And sleep in as long as like.”

“Thank you.”

“Let me know if you want an extra blanket or anything-“

“Goodnight Joel,” you laughed, walking away from him finally.

When you closed yourself into his room, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

You both laid awake for a while, having the same doubts, ruminating on words, body language, tone, meanings that may or may not have indicated something else.

You tried to be objective. He’s naturally generous, kind hearted beneath a bit of a rough exterior. He was instinctually nurturing, look how devoted he is to his daughter. Besides, with her to look out for, he wouldn’t want some silly college girl. He takes his responsibilities as a father very seriously and as far as you knew, he avoided things and people that would disrupt her life.

You’re a sweet girl, he reasoned that you hugged him because that was your nature and nothing else. One night at his place didn’t mean anything beyond what it was: you called and he answered. He knew nothing would come of it, ridiculous to think anything would, really. Young, promising college students like you don’t go involving themselves with middle aged men with children, not unless the man was rich, which he definitely wasn’t.

These thoughts kept you both awake, so finally you each relented to the more hopeful side, even if it was just a fantasy to doze off to.

Cheek pressed against Joel’s pillow, surrounded by his scent, you sleepily indulged in the thought that he treated you special because he felt a special way for you. Maybe he’s even protective of you.

Hand tucked under a cushion, he entertained the idea of you knowing that you want a man who wouldn’t waste your time. Someone who has some real experience in the world and knows what they want.

He was starting to think that insisting you spend the night was the worst idea he’s ever had.

Chapter 2 Masterlist

#joel miller #tlou #pedro pascal #joel x reader #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #tlou hbo #joel the last of us

[gingerlurk]

RAW

Joel Miller x f!Reader x EzraProspect

Out of universe. Out of character. Out of my damn mind. 

Rating: 18+ explicit MDNI – mfm, no-outbreak!Joel Miller, menace!EzraProspect, established relationship (with Joel), pair of consent kings, porn without plot, cuckholding (not really), ass slapping, tit grabbing, a touch of breath play, ass play, rimming, unprotected piv x 2 (be safe), self-pleasuring (reader & Joel), spitting x 2, a little hair pulling (only description of reader is having hair to be pulled and caressed), biting, cmnf (both men stay mostly clothed while you are naked), creampie, we’ve got a cock-drunk reader I think, maybe even a squinty breeding kink (I surprised myself there), aftercare, it’s implied Ezra is your ex (you’re cool though), he has both arms, he also has a variety of weird nicknames for you I dunno, Joel just calls you baby, Joel carries you but he’s just so strong, you know? Appearances from Frankie Morales, Javier Peña and Din Djarin. 

Look it’s just… look. Let me know if I should add any others, cheers!

Word count: 4.6k

AN: Interrupting my own Mandalorian-obsessed programming to share this self-indulgent, pure unadulterated filth. I don’t know what this is. It came to me as I was lost in an acute migraine haze and it just feels like it needs to be out of my head to bring me any kind of peace.

Honestly just a way to get me through the holiday sads at this point.

These are standalone characters, and I have thots for the other three PP boys mentioned at the start. So we’ll see how tortured I am by those/how this one goes and they may turn into follow-ups. Enjoy?!

--

He's not your first choice. He's not even your third.

But fuck, Joel wants this and you're seeing your options get shot down one after the other.

Frankie is an outright no – positive Joel is just gonna kill him the moment he lays hands on your body. Unwilling to listen to your assurances, your assertions that it wasn’t even your idea to begin with, he doesn’t relent from his refusal. 

Lifting his cap to run fidgety fingers through his hair, the gorgeous pilot turns you down with regret in his dark, sweet eyes.

Javier Peña, the sex siren incarnate, also shakes his head.

‘Don't get me wrong, hermosa,’ he croons, leaning in close. ‘I'd fuck you three different ways on three different days, no question.’ He lifts a brow, pouts. ‘But not with another man present.’

Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, he says, ‘If I can have you all to myself, you call me.’

All breathy as he saunters away, you file that for later. Maybe once Joel has had his fill of this little venture, he'll be feeling generous to such a request.

And Din. Well, the mysterious perennial traveller is off overseas somewhere and no one knows when he'll show up next. Bust there. 

So it is with a little apprehension in your chest that you text the man that, as you know all too well from your wild days at uni, is up for just about anything.

The message has barely landed on read when he calls.

‘You crave defilement as your beasty man watches, do you?’ Ezra snarls into the line. ‘Want me to do it? Raw? Want him to bear witness to the things I know I can get you to do and scream?’ His voice buzzes in your ears and makes your belly thrum.

‘That's quite the prospect.’

With some brief explanations he barely even pretends to need, a date is set and you hang up with a shaky thumb to your screen.

It’s shaking again along with the rest of you as you tug the door open on the tap-tap-tap Ezra places to the glass. His half side smile turns to a lascivious grin as he sees you, eyes tracking over you – head to toe. They flick to Joel, who stands at the base of the stairs with arms crossed and jaw locked.

‘Evenin’,’ your guest greets as you wave him inside. ‘We ready for this arrangement of ours to commence?’

In answer, Joel turns and climbs the steps. Ezra looks at you with a smirk.

‘Not a talker, is he?’

‘You know he isn’t,’ you reply.

Nothin’ to say to that so you gesture and he follows. Up the stairs and into the bedroom, where Joel has already taken his position – seated in a dining chair dragged up from the kitchen, facing the far side of the bed.

Your heart flutters at the sight. At what you’re about to do.

Ezra steps up to stand beside you, where you’ve come to a stop on the opposite edge of the double-queen. 

He hisses in a breath. ‘Now, we discussed this on the phone but I am keen to confirm, with all parties here and present, that – in your words – no act, motion or gesture is strictly off the table tonight. Is that right? No glarin’ slips? In this moment, right here?’ 

‘There is the one rule,’ you say. ‘It’s a firm one.’

Ezra turns to you, raises his arms and skates a palm across each of your shoulders. It makes a sizzling path on your skin.

‘Now that small detail has not left my awareness, dear,’ he says, melty pools of want in his gaze. ‘Be most assured. Anything else?’

‘We have the safe word,’ you say, getting antsy. 

‘Mmhm, I remember that too, don’t worry,’ he replies. ‘But,’ a nod to Joel, face serious, ‘with those taken wholly and – may I add, justly – into account. To confirm?’

Joel’s jaw ticks. He looks to you for a moment. As you nod, so does he – shifting his gaze back to the man standing next to you.

‘Excellent,’ Ezra turns and gives you a thorough leer, a Cheshire grin. Eyes seizing your insides with the intent behind them. ‘Then, I would say that the next pertinent steps are for you to remove every single stitch of clothin’ adorned to your body and get on that there bed.’

You do as you’re told, shucking off top and skirt but pausing with a little trepidation at bra and panties. Ezra has to make a little ‘go on’ motion before you shed those too and – fighting the butterflies erupting in your belly – climb across the quilt.

On hands and knees, you look up and lock eyes with Joel. He’s bent forward, elbows on his own knees spread wide, gaze intent. You feel Ezra behind and a covetous grip on your thighs tugs you closer to his side of the bed.

‘So,’ Ezra murmurs. A hand lands on the small of your back, warm and large and calloused. ‘I admit I hold a curiosity that cannot be helped. And I must ask.’

The hand raises and lands with a firm smack on an ass cheek. You gasp a little and the momentum of the slap has you leaning toward Joel, whose teeth have bared just a little. He doesn’t move. The fingers behind you dig into your flesh, urge you back toward Ezra’s edge again.

‘It is a simple curiosity,’ he goes on. ‘It is only this: why?’

Another slap and, at your pained yelp, he carries on, ‘Why allow me this? This beauty who I imagine has known only your hands for the longest time? Why let me have her now…’ His palm soothes the burn of his flagellation. He waits.

Joel gives in to the slightest shrug.

‘Guess I’m curious too,’ he drawls. ‘I’ve explored every single part of this sweet thing. In’erested to see what another man’ll do with her.’

The low whistle over your shoulder is filled with relish. You hear Ezra suck in air between clenched teeth. Holding you firm, he rocks against your exposed rear, lets you feel the erection straining against his pants.

‘Every part of her, huh?’ he queries. Without warning, a huge arm wraps across your middle and slings you up. In a heartbeat, you find yourself pressed flush to his front, the rough fabric of his shirt no barrier to the heat radiating off his torso. He holds you so tight to himself, you can feel the thud thud thud of his heart between your shoulder blades.

The movement also causes your legs to twitch and you feel it. The start of your arousal leaking between your thighs. Another look at Joel, and his intense focus has you slippery and throbbing.

You breathe deep and wait, eyes now closed and listening only to two men breathing hard as well.

Ezra’s other arm moves onto you.

‘So I am given to be assured you’ve amply taken in these pretties,’ Ez growls. Both hands cup and massage your tits, bring the nipples to a standing attention. He waits. ‘Well?’

‘What d’ya think?’ Joel spits with a small head tilt.

‘Mm,’ Ez hums, nods into your shoulder. ‘Mmhm.’

Fingers move up, up, across a collarbone and to the base of your throat.

‘And here?’ he asks. ‘Have you known her here? Gifted her the dizzying sensations of restricted breath? Held her life, both gentle and savage, amidst the pressure of your digits?’

At that, he presses his middle and index fingers into the soft skin under your jaw and you feel it, just a little. Just the beginnings of light and airy pleasure pulsing in your head. His thumb strokes by your other ear.

Joel's own hands are clenched into tight fists, resting on his knees as he has straightened up. Almost primed. Like an animal ready to pounce.

‘Have you?’ The man with his hand around your neck presses.

With eyes growing hungrier, Joel nods.

That elicits a surprised little sound from Ezra.

‘Well,’ he turns his head and addresses you. The thumb engages and pushes down, in. Now you’re feeling it. Feeling it thrum from the crown of your head through your body and down to your cunt, which is decidedly dripping. ‘This bird may have flown my nest, but you took a little something learned with you, huh?’

You can’t move, can’t speak. Might just cum. Might just fucking cum and he hasn’t even touched you yet. So you just let your eyes roll back and hope Joel can see how much you love it. The choke stays light, your possessor seemingly interested only in taunting and testing. 

A tiny whine escapes your throat. Ezra lets go and you gasp a little, let your chest rise and fall as you suck in oxygen. 

Look to Joel again, feel an undeniable rush as you see he’s staring at the apex of your thighs. His shoulders rising and falling too, almost in sync with you. He can see it. You know he can.

Ezra is still holding you tight as your head lolls with abandon, falls onto his shoulder. 

Finally, finally, the hand that had been around your neck moves down. Down. 

God yes, please…

But he only barely cups your mound, doesn’t go anywhere near where you need it. 

‘And this?’ he questions unnecessarily. ‘And of course, you will have intimate carnal knowledge of this right here? Please assure me you know every single blessed millimetre of this holiest of shrines. I would be aggrieved were it not so.’ 

‘Yes,’ Joel rasps in a voice filled with fury and lust.

You can’t help yourself. You start to beg, ‘Pl- Please.’ Try to buck into his hand, for the contact, for just a little bit of friction to where you’re humming like a charged wire. But it backfires. He leaves your core and covers your mouth instead. Leans into your ear.

‘Ssh, my bird,’ he murmurs. ‘Ssh, do not fret. I’m going to take care of you.’

With a little shove, he lets you flop forwards, where you catch yourself on your forearms and bury your head between them, burning up.

With your ass still high, cool air only has a moment to make itself known before he’s drawn you close, presses himself against your thighs.

‘You impress me, Joel,’ he grits. ‘Joel, I have to say that you have indeed impressed me. And with now a… slight doubt in my conviction, I am keen to make the case there is a space within her you have yet to take solace.’

A large thumb lands between your shoulders and starts a path down your spine. It takes its time, feeling each vertebrae and letting you arch against the touch. Slipping over the sweat that beads on your skin. It comes to rest against the crease at the top of your ass cheeks. Oh god. He’s gonna--

‘So Joel, what of this?’ The snarl behind you is feral, frightening. ‘Have you made an expedition of—’

He doesn’t finish the sentence as his thumb swipes down and connects with your tight ring of muscle, presses firm there but doesn’t yet go further. 

‘Oh fuck,’ you twist your head to look back. He’s not looking down at you but up and over your head, staring at Joel.

‘Have you?’ he snarls again, making you clench.

You can’t hear or see Joel's response, but Ezra’s reaction is a look of pure delight.

‘Mmmm,’ he groans and moves his thumb just long enough to spit there before it’s back and massaging your entrance. Hot want coils in your belly as he teases and teases. God, you should have known he would really draw it out.

‘Please.’ Another plea escapes you, hitched and breathy. ‘Please.’

‘Who are you talking to, my pet?’ he asks, pressing just a little harder and leaning himself against you. You can feel his hard cock digging into your ass again. ‘To whom do you make this entreaty?’

‘You,’ you cry out. ‘You. Please, Ezra. Please, pl—’

He drops to his knees behind you and, without preamble, lays his open mouth over your asshole. Pressing hard before setting a furious pattern of licking and sucking – turning away only to bite and nip at the flesh on either side. 

The man works like he is trying to devour the universe. His tongue circles a few times before pushing inside you.

It’s unreal – a sublimity to get lost in. You let yourself sink into it. Keen and cry and buck back into him as he sets each and every nerve ending on fire.

He pushes your knees apart so you sink deeper and reach wider for him. Hands are gripping your ass to hold you open and it doesn’t seem like he’s planning to move on anytime soon, working lips and tongue and teeth across your seam and every inch he can reach.

You just can’t stand it anymore.

‘Can I touch myself?’ you gasp. ‘Can I—’

He withdraws his tongue from you with a chuckle. ‘Mmmm, what do you say?’

With a frustrated groan, ‘Please, Ezra.’

‘You do whatever it is your heart desires, sweet one,’ he grunts against you, going back to his ruminations. ‘I am quite content here.’

You’d had your face pressed into the linens of your bed, but you arch your head up to look at Joel while reaching between your thighs, stretching your shoulder to give yourself the space.

As you move, so does he. In time with desperate movement onto yourself, he leans back, undoes his belt and pulls his cock free, stroking its firm length as your fingers connect with your clit.

It’s an instant jolt of mind-numbing pleasure. The hungry bundle of nerves ready to blow. Your scream of ecstasy, echoing in the room, is responded to with a pair of deep, guttural groans. Ezra’s shoots through your body as it vibrates behind you. Joel’s rings in your ears.

The man in front of you nods, encouraging you on as you circle and work yourself. Watching his own pace, you match it and it’s not long before your mouth is locked open in an ‘O’ of bliss and you’re cumming. The wet suctioning sensation on your rear drives your orgasm along a straight and narrow rush that shoots through you so hard you’re screaming into the sheets.

As you start to be able to hear again, Joel is murmuring praises.

Huffing and heaving on the remnants of your comedown, you look up. He’s furiously fisting his cock, bent so far forward you could reach out and touch him. You don’t though, just stare with mouth-watering want, desperate to have him on your tongue and pressing down your throat.

With that thought, you rub and rub and rub. Push back, back, back on the mouth working you with a tireless appetite.

Reading your face, watching your every twitch and pulse – Joel waits for the perfect moment and-

‘Another,’ he grits out.

‘Fuh—hah!'

It comes for you with a ferocious force, taking over every muscle in your body and making you shudder with its savage intensity. Both men pause as you spasm and let a dozen tortured little ‘Ah’s escape you.

Barely able to lift your head, you twist it just enough to see the possessed demon that was once Joel – dark eyes ablaze and tendons taunt and straining on his neck. 

‘Fuck her,’ he commands. Pre-cum glistens on your view of the underside of his shaft. ‘Fuck her, now.’

Ezra pulls away from you with a slick gasp.

‘Okay, Joel,’ he says – his outer calm contrasted with Joel’s madness somehow the hottest thing happening right now. 

Ez stands, replacing his tongue with his thumb, which he pushes in to the first knuckle. At your pitched moan, he holds you there. Doesn’t seem at all bothered by your hand still working your clit as you feel the pressure of his cock’s head at your entrance. It slides through your folds and he uses his grip on your ass to guide you to back up onto him.

‘I’m going to fuck her now, Joel,’ he says, all hushed and lowly.

The motion of your hips moving back right as he – fierce and swift – bucks his cock hard into you punches the air from your lungs. The slap of his hips meeting your ass fills the room. 

So full and stretching. The emptiness replaced by shards of excruciating pleasure. It’s too much. It’s just enough.

The space is quiet for a moment and you look round, see Ezra through your blurry, tear-stained vision. He seems paralysed, head tilted a little and mouth locked open. The only movement is the hollow of his throat dipping and peaking fast – the man’s practically hyperventilating. Sweat at his temples and eyes glassy and staring at nothing.

On your knees, split open by his cock, you wait and watch. After a moment--

‘Ez?’ you question.

His eyes clench shut, as do his teeth, and he takes several deep, dragging breaths.

‘A queen’s…’ he rasps out. ‘A queen’s cunt. That is what you have. Fucking… queen of cunt.’

And at last, he fucks you. One single draw back almost to leave you, then he’s slamming into you, making sure you feel every single thrust hit your ass and thighs. Convulsing your clit every time. 

He reaches forward and grabs a fistful of your hair, using the purchase to lift your head so Joel sees your face twisted with bliss. Your tits bouncing with each smack of flesh behind you.

You can tell he’s enjoying the view, rewarding your efforts with a gaze so hot and crackling, the sight might just make you c—

The penetration in your ass leaves you and you gasp as you’re hauled up and locked against Ezra’s chest again. So that Joel has a perfect view of his cock disappearing into you. Over and over. A perfect view of your pussy being abused by him.

The man fucking you senseless grabs hold of your wrist, lifts the fingers that you’d been pleasuring yourself with and sucks on them. He moans at your taste, appreciative and reverent, like you’re a pure miracle. Pushes your hand deep so he can cram his tongue into the webbing.

‘Mm,’ he mumbles, letting your fingers go with a wet suck. He spits over your shoulder so it dribbles between your breasts. ‘But you are divine, do you know that? Does he tell you? Makes sure you know?’

All hissed into your ear as he pumps and pumps. Fucking up into you with a freakish stamina you hadn’t remembered before now but is coming back to your pleasure-buzzed mind. 

‘Allowing me to take this perfect body apart, as I see fit?’ he goes on. ‘You are divine.’

It’s just a little annoying. How coherent he still is. So – tightening your belly and bearing down – you clench your cunt around him as hard as you can and are rewarded with a pained gasp.

You don’t think he intends to, but he bolts forwards and collapses the two of you onto the bed, sprawling out over you. There’s just enough time for you to grab a pillow and shove it underneath, tipping your pelvis into him. And it doesn’t slow him at all. Flat out on your stomach, he adjusts and takes the new angle inside you with glee, hips rocking into you so hard you jolt and slide back and forth.

He ruts your pussy like the deranged animal that he is. His belly presses into the small of your back where he drives himself down into you. Teeth collect a chunk of flesh by your shoulder and bite down. Fingers tangle and lock into hair to hold your head still, so that you can’t move and can only take it.

He finds your sweet spot, connecting the huge head of his cock with it over and over. He fucks you so hard that your clit is forced down onto a run of stitching in the cushion, and it rubs the tight bundle in perfect sync with the stimulation being exacted deep within you.

It’s intoxicating. A rhythm of ecstasy. A crescendo that is near unendurable. You fight it for as long as you can, wanting the sensations to last, but your body has ideas of its own.

Ezra moans.

‘She’s clenching up, Joel,’ he says with desperation. Babbling. ‘I can feel it. Joel. Can feel. I can feel her. I’m going to feel her- cum on my cock, uhhhnnn.’

It’s so intense you just moan and whine into the bed, twitching and writhing as fireworks erupt inside you.

Joel literally growls. It’s echoed by the man on top of you, who’s draining the sound right into your ear. You twist your head to see Ez. He’s looking up, face to Joel with an ecstatic rictus of an expression locked on his features as you flutter and clench around him.

‘Oh, fuh- fuck,’ Ezra, finally incoherent. ‘Fuc- cum—gonna c—’

‘Rule,’ you gasp. ‘The rule, Ez!’

In a heartbeat he withdraws from you, pushes himself up and you feel the hot ropes of his spend land on your back, your shoulders – maybe a little in your hair.

‘Fuck,’ he repeats, panting. ‘Uhhh.’

From where you’re sprawled, limp and fucked out on the mattress, two strong hands loop around your upper arms and pull.

You give a yelp of surprise as you whole bodily slide out from under Ezra, across the bed, off of it entirely, and you’re manhandled into Joel’s lap. He’s so strong and you’re so boneless, you’ve got legs either side of him and are being guided onto his cock in a matter of moments.

‘My turn,’ he rumbles, so impossibly low and wrecked.

Your spent pussy lets him slide home in one swift thrust. Hands glide across the cum spread on your back, push it back and forth for a moment before he’s holding your hips and lifting and slamming you onto himself. You grip his shoulders for dear life, the place inside you that Ezra had just been abusing roaring back to set a blaze in your entire body.

Hands falling off his shoulders with his force, you fist the front of his flannel instead as he pumps his thick shaft with you, uses you on himself. 

Thinking he’s going to just go and go until he cums, he surprises you. Changing his thrust, he pulls you closer and starts to buck up his own hips into you. One arm holds you to his chest and the other reaches around.

Oh my g—

‘So you really like this, huh?’ A thick finger finds your puffy, messy hole – opened up by Ezra’s attentions – and pushes in. Joel’s eyes roll back at the resistance. ‘God, it’s so… tight,’ he drawls, huffing into your mouth. 

He works the finger in and out, specifically seeming to enjoy the sensation of that initial breach. It’s different, and physically heady. You’re not long for it, and with a groan from Ez, still behind you – a muttered, ‘you see, Joel? Do you see?’ – you’re screaming loud again as you anoint Joel’s cock with your climax. 

And now he’s getting close.

‘Whose cock do you want?’ he demands, not relenting his pace for a single moment.

‘Yours,’ you say.

‘Who else’s?’ 

‘His,’ you whine, tilting a bliss-filled head back over your shoulder.

‘Mmhm, good girl,’ he affirms. ‘Whose pussy is this though? Who is the only one who gets to cum in this pussy.’

The finger slips out as he grips you hard for purchase, driving himself to his release.

‘Who? Tell me.’

‘You!’ you cry. ‘Joel, you. The rule is– hah- uh- Only you can. Only y– Joel.’

With the tiniest bit of muscle control left in your body, you grind your hips deep into him. The sweat and release coating both your skin lets you slide and push. So that when he meets his cliff’s edge and falls over it, the head of his cock is firm against your cervix and his cum soaks your walls. Both strong arms lock around your back and his face is buried in your neck, mouthing and devouring as he groans and groans.

It settles into grunts and gasps as his high rides itself out.

With weak, sloppy movements, you grasp either side of his head and bring it up to yours so you can kiss him, slide your lips and tongue and teeth together for a moment while he comes back to himself. As you part, you’re greeted with the most beatific smile.

Ezra appears by your side, pants zipped up but a fresh erection clearly tightening them again. You take this in then tip your head back to him with a hazy smile.

‘Thanks, Ez,’ you slur. 

‘My unequivocal pleasure, dove,’ he says, lifting the thumb that had not been buried inside you and swiping it over your lower lip. ‘Know that I’d ask to kiss you right now, but well…’ A lopsided grin and a lick at his own lips.

‘Yeah, nah,’ you say, mumbling whatever nonsense slips into your mind. ‘Next time, maybe.’

‘Mm,’ he groans. He looks at Joel as you flop forwards into that broad chest and feel arms tighten round you again. ‘Indeed. If you do feel your compersion arise again and wish to seek out my participation once more, I will respond with an enthusiasm most prompt.’

‘Thanks,’ Joel murmurs. ‘Can ya let yer’self out? Got some lookin’ after t’do.’

His attentiveness has you feeling all warm as you listen to Ezra’s footsteps move out of the room, down the stairs, and the front door open and close.

Joel sifts fingers through your hair. Nuzzles your ear. ‘Did so well fer me, baby,’ he whispers. ‘So well. Looked s’fuckin’ good.’

All you manage is an affirmative ‘mmmmm’.

‘You want a shower?’ he asks. ‘Can ya stand?’

You nod to the first question and shake your head to the second, tucked into his neck. He sighs with content and braces your legs against his sides, stands up with you firmly locked in his embrace. Carries you to the bathroom where he only sets you down, cock slipping out, when you can lean against the cool tiles. Stumbling a little, you use the toilet as he gets the water up to temp and undresses.

In the warm cocoon of steam, he cleans you from head to toe, washing away Ezra’s spit on your chest and cum on your back. The sweat and the tears. The mess on your thighs. Hands soothe across bite marks and finger grazes. Each one he checks, ‘this okay?’, ‘this one?’, ‘okay, baby?’. You nod and hum and get lost in this unique feeling.

After, he guides you back to the bed where he’d watched another man take you to pieces, settles you under the covers.

‘Hungry?’ he asks. ‘Thirsty?’

‘Thirsty,’ you mumble. ‘And tired.’

‘Okay, one sec.’ His warmth and shadow vanish for a little bit, and you’re fighting sleep as he returns with two glasses of water. Makes you drink the first and sets the second by your bedside before climbing in and cradling you against his chest – by which point you are dead to the world.

--

Uh, so yeah. Go about your day…

#joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller #joel miller smut #ezra prospect #ezra prospect x reader #ezra prospect x you #ezra prospect x f!reader #joel miller x reader x ezra prospect #the last of us #joel miller x you x ezra prospect #joel miller x f!reader x ezraprospect

[bugrry]

you're the thing that's crystal clear pt. 2

hbo!joel miller x fem!reader || masterlist

hello again!! here is the promised part two of this piece that you all ADORED. thank you all so much for all the love on that, and for inspiring me to keep writing. i love you all so deeply.

my requests for joel are open!! i want to keep writing for y'all so send me some thoughts!

warnings: SMUT (18+ please! contains f receiving oral, unprotected sex), some fluff, and a smidge of angst if you squint.

word count: 3.8k

Joel has yet to leave your side since your reunion in the bar. He won’t let you move away from his touch, much less out of his sight. He’s missed you so much that if he has to watch you walk away from him one more time, even if just for a moment, he thinks he’ll combust. 

Tommy keeps looking over at the two of you, and Joel has to stop himself from pulling you impossibly closer. He doesn’t know what Tommy could possibly be thinking, but what he does know is that he doesn’t want to hear it. Tommy has always given Joel shit for the women in his life, claiming they’re too good for you man, or some other bullshit about him choosing women who are way out of his league. Before the outbreak, Joel would just laugh and shrug it off. But now, with you, he doesn’t want to hear what he already knows to be true. He doesn’t want to be reminded of the fact that you would be better off without him, even if you don’t think so. You interrupt his spiraling thoughts with a tap on his knee.

“You okay?” 

He looks over at you, forcing himself to press the anguish out of his face. The look on your face gives away all of your emotions, concern and distress are painted into the creases between your eyebrows and the pout on your lips.

“Yeah. Just thinkin’,” he says, rubbing his hand up and down your back. 

“Thinking about what?”

“Nothin’, sweetheart. Don’t worry about it.” He brushes you off, but he can feel in the way that you tense that you aren’t going to let it go that easily. He sighs as you step away from him.

“You can’t tell me not to worry about it. You coming back here, coming back to me, means that I get to worry about you again. You’ve gotta talk to me.”

Joel realizes then that he’d do anything for you. If it meant he got to keep you around, he would do anything you ask of him. He’d spill all of his deepest secrets, even give you the clothes off of his back if it meant he got to go home to you at the end of the day. 

“I know sweets, I just–” he cuts himself off, taking a breath to center himself, “can we talk about this later, when we’re alone?”

You nod, patting him on the knee and scooting even closer to him. He smiles and pulls you onto him so that you are seated on one of his thighs. You gasp at the movement but quickly settle into the new position. He smiles and rests his chin on your shoulder, happily willing to sit and just listen to you talk to your friends. 

After a few hours, as the sun is beginning to set, Ellie jogs up to the two of you after having been running around the commune with various kids and other animals.

“Woah! You make friends fast, Joel!” Ellie laughs, smiling at you as you remove yourself from your perch on his lap. You feel your face flush and you hear Joel as he huffs, both at Ellie’s comment and the loss of your touch.

“Mind your business, Ellie,” Joel says, pulling you back closer to him as you look down at your fidgeting hands. Still with his eyes on Ellie, Joel moves one of his hands over yours, stopping your fingers from where they were picking at each other. He gives your hands a squeeze and presses his fingers in between your palms, then snakes his hand in between yours and intertwines your fingers with his. Ellie is watching Joel’s every move, confusion evident in her features. 

“No seriously, who is she?” Ellie’s voice doesn’t seem to be aggressive or angry, merely curious about the scene before her. She’d never seen Joel partake in any sort of affection, much less allow someone to sit in his lap. 

“This is Y/N. Knew her before you.” Joel says shortly, and you look up at Ellie with a nervous wave. You know this girl means the world to him now, and all you can do is hope that she likes you. You don’t think that her not liking you would change Joel’s feelings toward you, but it would definitely make both of your lives even more complicated and difficult than they already are. 

“Hi Ellie,” you offer, sticking your hand out as a show of good faith. She just looks at your hand for a moment before smiling and reaching out to shake it and giving you a quiet hello. 

“Okay, um,” she starts once she pulls her hand back to her side, “I’m really tired so I think I’m gonna go ask Tommy where I can sleep.” Joel nods, looking for his brother in the crowd. Once he finds him and meets his eyes, Joel waves him over. Tommy smiles softly and pardons himself from the conversation he doesn’t seem to be an active participant in. 

“Glad to see the two of you have made up. What do you need?”

You look over at Joel as he smiles, but you frown a little at the way his smile doesn’t seem to meet his eyes. You push your worry to the side, promising yourself to ask him about it later. 

“Ellie says she’s tired, but I think I’m gonna stay up with Y/N for a little while longer, do you have a place for her to stay?”

You perk up, seeming to have just now tuned into the conversation, and place a hand on Joel’s shoulder. Tommy and Ellie look over at you as you open your mouth to speak

“I have an extra bedroom if she would feel comfortable staying with me,” you look at Joel, “I mean…if that’s okay with you too.”

Joel looks back at Ellie, silently asking her what she thinks. She just shrugs. “I’m fine with whatever she’s fine with.” “Would you be staying at Y/N’s too, Joel?” Tommy asks. 

Joel looks at you, his eyes wide, but you don’t seem to have much of a reaction to the question. You just look back at him with those damned sweet eyes of yours.

“Yeah,” you say, looking back at Tommy, “he’s gonna stay with me.”

── ⋅⋅⋅ ──

Even though Joel would have been happy sitting outside with you until the sun came back up, you had to take Ellie back to your place to get her settled in your spare bedroom.

“...The bathroom is just down the hall, and Joel and I will be in my room downstairs,” you finish explaining where everything was, pointing in the respective directions of the bathroom and your bedroom. “Just let us know if you need anything. We’ll probably be up for a little while yet.”

Joel had been standing silently next to you the whole time you’d been explaining the layout of your home. He had been enthralled with your collection of books, pottery, and paintings. He wondered if that was what your house had been full of before the outbreak, when everything wasn’t constantly a matter of life or death. When you were carefree and when you were happy. He decides that the thought isn’t worth dwelling on, and he pushes it away with a grunt.

Once Ellie had said her goodnights and shut her door, you lead Joel back downstairs. Your living room consisted of intricately carved wooden bookcases that were absolutely full, a worn-but-cozy-looking couch, and a soft rug. Joel sighs at the warmth that resonates from everything in your home.

“Wow,” Joel hums, “everything is so normal here.” He finds himself rubbing his fingers along the worn seams of your couch as you walk into the kitchen to retrieve a couple of glasses and a bottle of whiskey. When you return, you set a glass in front of Joel, pouring him a few ounces of liquor.

“I guess you could say that,” you say softly, pouring your own glass, “doesn’t always feel like it out there, so I try to make it feel like it in here. There are some carpenters around town,” You move to one of your bookcases and run your fingers softly along the carvings as you hold your glass in your other hand. “They made these for me. They make me think of you.”

Joel frowns as you say this, looking up from where you’ve parked yourself in front of your bookcase.

“How do you mean?”

“Oh,” you start, turning to face him, “they’re strong, sturdy, reliable, lovely to be around.” You say, and with every adjective you place on both him and the bookcase, you take a step closer to him. By the time you’ve reached the end of your list, you are standing in front of where he’s sitting. His eyes have followed your face throughout your walk toward him, and as he looks up at you now, he is convinced you are the most beautiful woman on the planet. He reaches up and places his hands on your hips as you swirl your drink around in its glass. 

“I’ve missed you so much Y/N,” he whispers and pulls you closer to him, resting his head on your soft stomach. You run your fingers through his hair, subsequently pulling him closer to your body. 

“I’ve missed you too, Joel. So much more than I could ever tell you.”

Joel presses the side of his face further into your tummy, inhaling deeply. 

“Are you okay?” you ask after a few moments of comfortable silence. Joel turns his head so that his nose presses into your navel, as though trying to hide from the question.

“I’m just so scared of you leaving again,” Joel mumbles into your stomach, “I don’t think I could survive it.”

You pull away from him and Joel almost whines, tightening his grip on your hips in an attempt to keep you pressed against him. He is unsuccessful, though, as you pull his hair gently in order to get him to look you in the eye again. You smile at him as he obeys your silent request, and you continue to run your fingers over his worn features. Your hand eventually comes to a resting place on his shoulder. 

“Haven’t I told you how miserable I was after I left the first time? I don’t think I could survive leaving you again, either.” You smile at him again, moving your hand up to run it along the crevices of his ear. “You’re stuck with me, Joel Miller. Like honey.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, sweets.”

You lean down toward his face, finally pressing your lips to his. He groans into your mouth and pulls you down on top of him. When your legs are resting on either side of his thighs, he pulls your glass out of your hand and leans forward to put it on your coffee table. The moment both of your hands are free, they are all over him. They’re buried in his hair, running over his shirt, down to his hips, and anywhere else you could get your hands. The two of you simply kiss each other for long enough that you find yourself losing your breath.

“You’re wearing too much, baby,” Joel eventually mumbles in between kisses and pulls at the bottom of your shirt. You pull away from him for a mere moment so that you can pull your shirt over your head. The moment your shirt was off, Joel’s hands are on your bare breasts, palming them and warming them in his hands.

“God, Joel,” you moan as he pinches your nipples between his index finger and his thumb. He takes advantage of you pulling away from his lips to move his to your neck. You groan as he sucks a delicate mark at the base of your neck, and only momentarily worry about what the others in the commune will think. This worry is dissolved, however, when Joel moves his mouth towards your breast, leaving small bites and marks along the way. When his mouth finally latches onto your nipple, you let a louder moan out, causing Joel to slap a hand over your mouth.

“Gotta be quiet, sweets. Can’t wake her up.” Although you nod at his words, he keeps a hand over your mouth for another few minutes as he continues to work your nipple with his tongue. After a while though, you realize you’ve been grinding on Joel’s jeans, and there is now a wet spot from where you’ve leaked through your own pants. 

“God, baby, I’ve gotta get you out of these damn pants,” he swears, pulling off your chest for a moment to speak before reattaching himself.

“My room,” you pant, “let’s go to my room.”

With a show of strength that makes you yelp, Joel lifts you up and carries you in the direction of where you’d indicated your room to be. At your noise, Joel gives you a playful glare.

“What did I say about the noise?” He almost snarls as he pushes the door open and kicks it shut behind him. He drops you on the bed and you bounce once as he backs away to remove his clothes. “If you wake her up, we have to stop. Is that what you want? To stop?”

“No Joel, please,” you beg, shuffling out of your pants as he shucks his own down his legs. “I need you to touch me.” “Oh, you need me, do you?” you nod at his taunting, not caring how desperate you may seem. “Then you need to be quiet. I’ll touch you as much as you want as long as you keep your mouth shut. We’ll find a time for you to be as loud as you want because believe me, I want to hear you, but now cannot be the time.” You’ve been nodding along with him as he’d been speaking, resisting the pathetic urge to make grabby hands at him. He smirks down at you, acknowledging your obedience with a simple “Good girl,” before leaning back down to touch you. His touch is so much more present when he’s pressed on top of you, and you bite your lip so hard to keep your moans in your throat that you think you taste blood. Joel moves his way down your body, kissing every so often. Once he gets to where your panties block his access, he places a simple kiss on your covered core. You jump, shutting your eyes tight at the idea of what’s to follow.

“Can I take these off, beautiful?” Joel asks, running his fingers under the seams of your panties and letting the elastic snap gently against your sensitive skin. You nod, but he shakes his head at you, “When I’m asking you if I can do something, I need you to tell me out loud. Can’t be letting me do things you don’t want just because you don’t think you’re allowed to say no. You’ve gotta be quiet, but I need more than a nod, baby. That hasn’t changed in the time since we last did this.” “Yes Joel, please touch me,” you groan softly, dropping your head back against the bed as he pulls away the last barrier that is keeping him from your core. He groans at the sight of you, dropping his head onto your mound and breathing in the smell of you.

“God, I’ve missed this pussy,” he says before leaning in to kiss over your core, reaching everywhere but where you need him the very most. You bite your lip and arch into him, but he just chuckles. “You’ve gotta be patient, baby. I’ll get there, don’t worry.”

With that, he dives in.

The feeling of his mouth on you, the feeling of his nose bumping rhythmically against your clit almost makes you forget that you have to be quiet. Almost. You slap your hand over your mouth and press your head into the mattress below you as Joel swirls his tongue against you. He wraps his arms underneath your thighs and pulls himself impossibly closer to your core. He presses his tongue into you and it feels like someone’s lit a fire underneath you. His nose continues to bump against your bundle of nerves and you let your mouth fall open in a silent moan as you feel his fingers press into you and curl against your most sensitive spot. Every curl of his fingers knocks the air out of your lungs, and you can feel your orgasm approaching impossibly fast, so you reach down to grab at Joel’s hair.

“I’m–hah–” you squeak out, “I’m gonna–I’m gonna cum, Joel please–” you almost scream as he pulls away from you. The bottom half of his face is covered in your wetness, and he just smiles at you as though this isn’t the most obscene image you’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

“You didn’t think I’d let you come without me, did you?” He says smugly. You whimper at him. “Silly girl.”

He leans back down to reconnect your lips with his and pulls his boxers down his thick thighs. He grunts quietly at the feeling of his cock finally being freed from its confines. Joel pulls himself from your lips and leaves pecks haphazardly around your face and neck. This makes you giggle and you pull his face away from where it had been buried in your neck.

“Joel,” your face would have warmed at the breathiness of your voice if you’d had any semblance of personal shame left, but you don’t, so you continue, “please, I need you inside me.” Joel groans softly, leaning back down to place another kiss against your lips before he pulls away and grabs ahold of his cock. He lines himself up with your core and pushes inside. The stretch of him, after three years of having nothing more than your fingers inside of you, is unimaginable, and you squeeze your eyes shut. 

“You okay, sweets? You need a minute?” He stops moving his hips and his face is furrowed in concern.

“Just–” you huff, “you’re so big. Love your cock, Joel. Please keep going.” 

If Joel hadn’t already been at full mast, your begging praise would have made him even harder. He continues moving his hips, albeit more gently until he’s fully sheathed inside you. Here, he pauses, placing soft kisses over your eyes and cheekbones. You whine at him, silently begging him for more.

“Baby, you’ve gotta give it a minute. Want this to feel as good for you as it does for me.”

“Feels so good Joel,” you say softly, “please please please move,”

Joel doesn’t need you to tell him twice. He pulls out of you before pushing himself back in. He quickly sets a rhythm, and it's slow but deep. You can feel every vein and curve of his cock, every ridge of him is pressing against every ridge of you, and it makes you want to scream. You vaguely remember that you’re supposed to be quiet, so you press your hand over your mouth. Joel pushes your hand away though, and you’re momentarily confused before he replaces your hand with his own.

“Want to be able to feel your moans, baby. I can’t hear them right now, but I want to know how good I’m making you feel. I can’t get enough of you.”

This makes you moan against his hand, your back arching against him. His thrusts are hitting you exactly where you need them to, and you feel your orgasm approaching yet again. You assume that he can feel the way you’re clenching around his cock because he reaches one of his hands down toward your clit and begins rubbing furious circles. You squeak, pressing further into him and squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Come for me, baby,” Joel pants, his sentences short and to the point, “Come on, I know. You’ve been so good. I’m so close. Gonna fill you up. You want that?” Joel groans into your neck once he’s finished speaking as if his own words have gotten him closer to orgasm. You don’t realize you’re nodding until you can feel the scrape of his stubble against your cheek. You’re so close you can almost taste it, and you want it so bad that you can’t even think.

Your orgasm crashes into you like a tidal wave, making your body tense and Joel groan. He follows soon after you, pumping you full of him. You moan softly at the feel of him flooding your insides, and you wrap your arms around the back of Joel’s head, pulling him ever closer. 

As the two of you come down from your respective peaks, you press Joel into your neck and he groans.

“God,” he mutters, “we’ve always been good at that, huh?”

You laugh, trying to push him gently off of you, but he doesn’t budge.

“Joel,” you groan in faux annoyance, “you’re too hot, get off of me.” Joel chuckles but relents. When he pulls out of you, you squeak in moderate discomfort, and he kisses the side of your head in an attempt to soothe you. It works, obviously.

He stands up and pulls his boxers back up his legs. You frown at the loss of your view, but the way he looks back at you makes your insides flutter.

“I’m gonna go get you a washcloth to clean you up a bit. You need anything? Some water?”

You feel your face warm in affection at him and you nod. He disappears momentarily, and a few seconds after you hear water running from your kitchen, he returns to you. He approaches you, handing you your water before leaning back down to your core to clean you off. You jump at the contact, still sensitive from your previous activities, but he consoles you with a kiss to your inner thigh. Once you’re all clean, Joel throws the washcloth somewhere in the room and crawls his way back up to you, flopping down at your side. The two of you just stare at each other for what feels like hours, though it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. Eventually, you roll closer to him and press yourself into his side. You inhale deeply, noting the smell of sweat, sex, and Joel. You smile against his chest and wrap your arm around his midsection. You yawn.

“Go to sleep, honey,” Joel mumbles as he runs his hands over your body, “I’ll be here in the morning.”

-

let me know what y'all think! smooches and much love.

#joel miller x reader #the last of us #the last of us hbo #hbo!joel miller x reader #joel miller #ellie williams #joel miller fanfiction #tlou #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction

[romanarose]

Lights

Jackson!Joel Miller x Jewish!OFC (second person)

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Summary: Two holiday lighting traditions warm Jackson's town square and Joel's grumpy heart.

Warnings: It's mostly just fluff lmfaooo at most theres a scene where Esther is thinking about the outbreak, she mentions the holocaust and other antisemetic violence in the real world and antisemitism i just kinda made up in TLOU. It just seemed realistic.

Immersability: Labled as OFC but told in second person. This is my take on "Esther" who Tommy tries to set Joel up with between TLOU 1 and 2. No description other than name, fem, and Jewish.

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*****************

“This is stupid” Joel muttered to himself. He was too old for this. Nearing 60 was an insane age to be asking a woman on a date. Joel knew Tommy had been trying to push them together and at first, Joel was not at all interested… but it was hard not to fall for you. Whatever, it couldn’t hurt, right?

Your front door opened, and you were clearly startled to see Joel there, but not disappointed at least. “Oh! Joel? What are you doing here?”

“Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to scare yuh, was justa ‘bout to knock.”

“It’s okay.” You relax. “Can I help you with something?”

You were so sweet. “Well, yeah I actually wanted to ask yuh…” Joel hesitated. This was so stupid. Why was he so fucking nervous? “Well the town’s christmas tree light’n ceremony is in a few days and um, well, I was hope’n maybe you’d wanna go?” He paused. “With me, I mean.”

Softly, you smiled at him, but you were taking way too long to answer. He prepared himself for rejection, because anything other than an enthusiastic yes was bound to be a disaster. “That’s very sweet of you, but, I’m Jewish, actually.”

Oh. That was new. He didn’t know tha. Joel realized he operated under the assumption that everyone was either christian by practice or by culture. Not that he didn’t think other religions still existed but he was just a small town southern man at heart. Not exactly a think outside the box type of man, and Jackson only had the one preacher after all, a vague non-denominational type. Act normal. “Well, uh, that’s great” Dumbass. He watched your lip quirk up a little. “Well, the ceremony isn’t really a religious thing.”

Relaxing, you lean up against your dorm frame. You cross your arms but not unwelcomingly. “You’re tell’n me the old preacher man ain’t gonna say a few ords about the miracle of the birth of a Messiah I don’t believe in?”

Joel felt a little stupid, and worried he’d offended you. Looking down, he scoffed his boot a bit and started his apology tour. “No, no yer right, miss, I wasn’t think’n. I apoligize, I didn’t mean to- well, I didn’t wanna be rude about yer religion and… and all that.” All that? Get it fucking together, Joel. “I’m sorry, miss, I’ll be going-”

“Joel.” You stop him, a teasing smile on your face remaining kind. “It’s alright, you didn’t offend me, honey.” You sigh, then stand up. “Listen, normally I’d just go. I like town stuff and lights are pretty, and it’d just ignore the preach’n like I did when I was in high school. But, the day of the ceremony is the first night of Hanukkah, and I ain't even got a menorah to light, ain’t for decades. Would feel wrong to light up someone else’s religion when I can’t even celebrate mine, you know?”

Joel couldn’t say he quite got it. He was raised southern baptist of course but hasn’t really kept up outside of obligatory holidays. He had Sarah baptized, but didn’t pray for years since she died, save for the moment he had the gun to his head, praying God would take him to where she was… He’d prayed a few times here and there, sometimes when Ellie or Tommy were in danger, and last winter when his nephew, Jack was deathly sick as a newborn. Yeah, he’d bow his head during services but he really only went because Tommy asked him to make an appearance sometimes, said it was good for Jack to see his family at church. Ellie didn’t go, churches and prayers making her uncomfortable now.

Still, just because he wasn’t religious doesn’t mean it wasn’t important. It clearly was to Tommy. “I get it, I’ll leave yuh be then.” He turned to leave.

“Hey Joel?”

“Yes ma’am?”

“I’d love to take you up on your offer to another event.”

*

Joel had promised to make good on that, but already he was formulating a plan in his head. It hadn’t really occurred to him how down bad he was for you, how much wanted you, to hold you, to kiss you, to- He shook his head. 

“Maria?” Joel called as he let himself in.

She rounded the corner holding his almost 3 year old godson. “Sure Joel, come on in.” Maria said sarcastically, but smiled.

“Gimmie” Joel made grabby hands to Jack.

Maria continued her sarcasm. “Hi Joel, I’m great, thank you for asking.”

“Sorry.” He didn’t look too sorry as he lit up when Jack dove out of his moms arms to him.

“Unca Jojo!!!” He squealed.

“Heya buddy!” He cringed when he got a whiff of him. “Jesus, Jack Jack, you stink!”

Maria nudged Joel to the bathroom. “You can change him, since you’re so excited to see him. And watch you language, you know how Tommy feels about that.”

Maria and Joel side eye each other a look. The pair had found common ground over the years. They both cared about Jackson, both loved Tommy and would do anything for Jack. However, recently, him and Maria had come to more than just an understanding, they’d actually begun to like each other, bonding over Tommy’s “come to Jesus” episode. Maria was decidedly not religious, but not athiest. Joel often found himself searching for Maria’s eyes when Tommy did or said something, and he often found them already smiling at him. Tommy had a rule against swearing and using the lord's name in vain around Jack, which Joel tried to respect.

“Where’s Tommy?” Joel asked.

“Oh, I see you remember your dear brother all of a sudden.” She teased him. “He’s upstairs, I’ll go gab him-”

“Actually, I came to see you.”

“Oh. Everything alright?”

“Can’t I see my dear sister-in-law without something being wrong?”

She simply cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“Fine, fine. But no, noth’n’s wrong. I just wanted to ask you, since you were a big city woman and all that. More knowledgeable than this small town hick.” Joel referenced himself. 

“Hick!” Jack repeated excitedly as Joel tugged on a new pull up. “Hickie! Hickie! Hickie!”

Maria laughed. “You’re explaining Jack’s new word to Tommy.”

Joel smiled, pulling up his pants. “That’s what uncles are for.”

“Whaddya wanna ask?” They exited the bathroom.

“Do you know anything about judaism?”

Maria burst into an uncharacteristically loud laugh, then called up the stairs. “Tom! You win! I owe you a foot rub!”

“Ew.” Joel grimances. “What could you possibly put on the line to touch his nasty feet. You know he got athletes food so bad he permanently lost two two nails right?”

“Yes Joel, we’re married. I’ve seen his feet. Believe it or not, I’ve even seen him naked.”

Joel gagged. “What the bet? Or do I not wanna know.”

“Tommy was insistent he could get you and Esther today if he played his cards right.”

“How do you know this is about Esther?”

“How many Jewish people do you know in Jackson?”

“Until an hour ago, none.”

“You though a woman named Esther was a gentile?”

“My named Joel, that Hebrew.”

“Fair enough.”

Tommy skipped down the stairs, not as fast as he might have been years ago but still that spring in his step Joel hoped he’d never lose. “Heya Joel! You finally ask Esther out?” He smiled broadly, that shit eating grin he always had when he thought he was right. Tommy reached out his arms for Jack, but Jack stayed with Joel.

“Yeah, and I looked like a fucking idiot.”

“Nothing out of the ordinary their! What did you do, bring up slaughtering an entire hospit-” Maria smacked Tommy and he stopped.

“No.” Joel emphacized, glaring at Tommy. “I asked her to go to the christmas tree lighting, and she told me she was Jewish and it was hanukkah, and now I look like a fucking backwards hick and she probably hates me and-”

Maria pinched the bridge of her nose. “She doesn’t hate you.”

He shrugged. “Maybe not. She did say she’d like to go out another time but that was probably to get me off her porch.”

“You anxiety ridden idiot.”

“I don’t have anxiety!”

“Sure, your goddamn panic attacks are for fun-”

Tommy snatched his son out of Joel’s arms. “Hey! Language!”

Joel and Maria apologized, and Tommy took Jack to the kitchen table to feed him a snack.

“What did you need help with, Joel” Maria asked him, bringing Joel back to the original purpose of his visit.

“What the fuck is a menorah.”

“JOEL!” Tommy glared at him, and Jack started muttering fuck, fuck, fuck as Maria and Joel tried to stiffle a laugh, glancing at each other.

*

It was a few days later as you watched the sun setting from your back window. You couldn’t do much, but you had managed to make a few traditional treats, latkes and friend donuts. Hanukkah didn’t need fancy meals, but oily food, traditionally. Still, you wished you could do more. Over the last 20 years, survival had been the primary thing on your mind. There wasn’t time to celebrate holidays when you were barely alive. How do you observe Shabbat when every single day requires hard work just to make it through? When you settled into Jackson this year, you slowly began begging able to observe more and more, but it wasn’t like the small Wyoming town had a Jewish population. You were the only Jew you knew, but it wasn’t like you were super obvious about it.

You didn’t really hide it, but it wasn’t something you shouted from the rooftops. When everything fell apart, you quickly learned that conspiracies in the QZ’s spread that the outbreak was a Jewish conspiracy, that the governments were ran by Jews, so on and so forth. You learned to keep that part of you quiet after your window got shot out for having a Star of David displayed. Jackson seemed safe, but you couldn’t be so sure. 

Still, your people’s story was one of survival in the most extreme of circumstances, and the outbreak was no exception. You endured and survived, just like Jew’s had through the holocaust, through a myriad of attempted genocides, including the survival of one you are celebrating now, menorah or not. As you fry a few more latkes, you hear a knock on the door. Strange, considering you didn’t get visitors much and you figured everyone would be at the town square.

 Last person over had been Joel, actually, and your heart fluttered at the memory. You desperately hoped he’d ask you out again. From the moment he walked into Jackson you fell for him. The obvious love he had for his brother, the way he protected a child that wasn’t his own… adoption was a great mitzvah, something you admired strongly about him. He was a good man, hard working, cared for his community and his family. And insanely hot. You doubted he’d have much interest in you, considering the amount of women who wanted him… the fact he wanted to ask you out verses someone younger just sealed to you the kind of man he was.

When you opened the door, you were thrilled to see that same man at your door again. 

“Hey Joel, what’s up?” You ask, wishing you didn’t sound so fucking stupid. He had something behind his back you couldn’t quite see. 

“Hi.” Joel smiled, nervous. “I um… well I wanted to say Happy Hanukkah and um… bring you this. I hope I ain’t over stepping but Maria said it would be fine but, what does she know, right?” He laughed nervously, still not showing you what he brought and still not meeting you’re eye. “So, if it’s inappropriate just tell me and I’ll fuck right off-”

“What is it?”

He took a deep breath, then held out the hand he had been hiding.

“Joel…” Your heart sores, touched beyond belief. He made you a menorah.

“I um, I welded it… Maria told me the basics. Brought candles too, I dunno if its supposed to be blessed by a rabbi or made from a certain metal or-”

You nearly tackle him in a hug. “Joel! That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me!”

It took him a moment to react, but soon Joel was hugging you back. You invite him inside, and he doesn’t want to intrude, but you tell him you’d love the company for the holiday.

*

Years and years ago, a cousin of Joel and Tommy got married to a catholic woman. Some of his family was weird about it, but Tommy and Joel thought that was stupid, so they drove the 10 hours as teenagers to go to the wedding to make a point. It was different to be sure, but something that stood out to Joel was the use of latin. Although he couldn’t understand a lick of it outside of hallelujah, 19 year old Joel thought there was something so beautiful in its use.

He felt that was as he watched you light the first candle on the menorah, saying the prayers in Hebrew. The fact you still could was vastly impressive to him. There were years where sometimes he swore he’d forgotten English, avoiding talking as much as possible. You looked so beautiful he could kiss you right there.

You shared so much with him that evening. Little pieces of your life, the story of Hanukkah, these yummy potato pancakes things… he was absolutely enthralled.

“Oh!” You gasp, looking outside. “The tree lighting! You don’t wanna miss it!”

“I’d rather be here with you, if that’s alright.”

You smile sweetly. “Won’t Ellie miss you?”

Joel rolls his eyes a little and waves his hand. “Nah, she’s got her own friend group now. Attached at the hip to that Dina girl. She don’t need this old man anymore.”

“That’s not true.” He was joking, but you wanted him to know. “She’s always gonna need her dad.”

“I ain’t her dad.” But it didn’t sound like he believed it. He held his hot chocolate in hand, looking down at it

You reach out, gently touching where his hand warmed at the base of the mug. “You are in every way that counts. You love her, and you take care of her. Blood don’t matter when you put up a shelf in her room or cook her dinner or make her eat her vegetables. You’re her dad.”

Joel smiled, looking up at you again. “It’s nice be’n here. With you.”

“I like have’n you here.”

“Maybe after Hanukkah I can make good on my promise to take you out? Jackson ain’t exactly known for its downtown restaurant scene, but I can take you dance’n, if that’s something you’d like.”

Your feel the heart palpitations, making you giddy as a young girl with a crush again. Joel made you feel like a teenager, like all the age, all the trauma, all the horrors washed away.

“I’d like that a lot.”

********************

I know this one isnt gonna go anywhere bc anything with readersreligion being specified isn't super popular, and theres no smut, but its okay <3 it's special to meeeeee

if you are looking for more jewish content, check out Seattle series on my marc spector masterlist for a emotional but sweet marc story of finding love, his religion and his family again <3

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @whatthefishh @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @neverwheremoonchild @winniethewife @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin

#joel miller #joel miller tlou #the last of us #tlou #tlou 2 #joel miller x ofc #joel miller fluff #the last of us fluff #jewish reader #hanukkah #hanukkah fanfiction #hanukkah special

[kayleezra]

Thoroughfare// Joel Miller x GN!Reader

Word Count: 7891

Warnings: Spoilers for the beginning of the game/ episode 1 of the series (character death), swearing and lots of it

Summary: Fic based on the song Thoroughfare by Ethel Cain (please listen to it). First-person POV. Reader and Joel have known each other since childhood but are separate post-outbreak. What happens when they’re reunited and old feelings resurface with the prospect of exploring the West. 

A/N: so I edited this like once but in the spirit of the new episode dropping early today I wanted to post this! Let me know of any errors and/or tags/warnings please and thank you!!!! 

Being alone after the fall of civilization wasn’t the plan, but given the selfishness and brutality of the new world, it was necessary. It was a dog-eat-dog world, even a human-eat-human world. Most survivors I encountered wanted to take everything I had, even if all I had was the skin on my back. Even long-standing groups imploded on themselves at one point or another. It was lonely but safer, no one to turn on you, trade you, or use you. I hadn’t started alone, on the day of the outbreak I was at Joel’s, it was his birthday and even though he worked I ensured there was a hot meal and cake for him no matter how late he got home. Everything went wrong so fast, we lost Sarah and everyone was fending for themselves, not that I blame them. For a while, it was just Joel, Tommy and me, until things got messy. We were ambushed by a group and separated, I haven’t seen either of them since, survival got in the way of finding them. 

I hate not knowing how they’re doing, I grew up with the brothers, I’ve known them for as long as I can remember. Joel and Tommy were hard workers, they were always trying to support themselves and each other. When Joel told me he was going to be a dad I was shocked, he and Amelia had been dating for a couple of years but we were in high school, and I knew it was going to be hard on the both of them. But I was also excited, I’ve always wanted to be an aunt! So I put together a baby shower for Amelia, collected clothing for their soon-to-be daughter and even managed to get them a crib. I was happy for Joel, he always talked about having a family, and wanting that mushy romantic domestic life. I did always harbour a crush on him and wish I could fulfill that for him but was happy nonetheless, he deserved it. They got married after high school at 22, but it was first and young love, it was never meant to last. By 28 he and Amelia had divorced, it was as amicable as possible. They harboured no hard feelings, they both grew and matured and understood it was for the best. 

Now, I’m somewhere out east alone. I find some rocks and trees that can provide my resting body coverage and make myself comfortable for the night. I’m calm, or as calm as I can be. Still on edge and alert for any unwelcome surprises but there's only so long I can go without sleep. I never really set up camp, unless necessary, I never wanted to notify others of my whereabouts, I learnt that the hard way. A lonely traveller is an easy prey for any group of 2 or more.

Exhaustion is what lulls me to sleep, the moment I lay down I’m aware of how tired and sore my body is but I don’t have time to care as I’m pulled into a state of half-consciousness

A low groan, almost a growl, rings through my ears, immediately putting me on high alert. My heart is racing at the sudden prospect of danger, it’s unlikely that one lonely infected has travelled near me. Pulling my pistol from my pocket, I prepare to take out a few infected and escape as soon as possible. My ears strain with the effort of trying to hear anything but it’s pretty quiet. I don’t let my guard down, just because I can’t hear them doesn’t mean they’ve left. Then heavy repetitive footsteps, getting closer. I switch the safety off, I’m about to reveal myself when my brain stops me. These footsteps are too consistent, there’s no fumbling around or fast changes in direction. I strain my ears again, there’s no wheezing or the sound of wet breath that accompanies the spores in the infected’s lungs. They’re human, seemingly alone, which makes people very desperate. I’m conflicted if I take them by surprise or wait them out, taking a human life who hasn’t yet wronged you isn’t easy. But do I want to wait for them to potentially wrong me? The decision is made for me when they painfully fall to the ground next to me. They are a man, with eyes squeezed shut and teeth gritted. I run my eyes along him quickly, he’s well equipped but his hands are busy clutching his blood-soaked side. His eyes shoot open, and like I’ve been wounded by his gaze I, “Joel!?!”

His movements stop and his eyes shoot to mine, shocked silence engulfs the two of us. Then I remember he’s injured. 

“Let me help you,” I say giving him a hand and bringing him into the nook that was my resting place mere moments ago. 

He sits propped up, “you wanna tell me what happened and what I’m dealing with?”

“Bullet wound. Ran into a couple of hunters.”

“How far from here?” I ask while digging for medical supplies in my backpack, worried the hunters may still be looking for him.

“You don’t have to worry about them no more. They were scouting the highway.”

“Got it. What kind of medical supplies do you got?”

“Nothin’”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

“Christ, alright. Okay, I’m gonna lift your shirt and have a look.”

Lifting his tattered green plaid shirt reveals a bloody mess. 

“I’m going to clean the area a bit to see what the damage is, this will probably hurt.”

He nods. Wiping the excess blood and grime gives me good news.

“You sir, are a very lucky man. It’s only a graze. It’s a pretty clean wound which ensured minimal bleeding, the edges are clean. As far as bullet wounds go, this one is a beaut. I’ll clean and bandage it, and then… we’ve got some catching up to do.”

I clean his wound in silence and as the adrenaline leaves his body he becomes lethargic.

“Gotta be honest, I thought you were dead,” Joel mumbles lowly.

“Well, I probably should be. But I thought the same of you. Tommy?”

“Alive as well as I know, he’s got a camp out in Wyoming.”

“West from here,” I add. I don’t know what happened that caused the two to split and I don’t push it. 

“Stay here, I’m going to see what I can raid off those bodies you left on the highway.”

I attempted to get up but am stopped by Joel's hand on my arm.

“You ain’t leaving me are ya?” “I’d never leave you, Joel,” I say a bit more sincerely than I intended but in his exhausted state, he’s likely to forget about it. 

I’m careful on the dark highway, Joel says I didn’t have to worry about the group of hunters but you can never be too sure. Turns out, the hunters were desperate because they had nearly nothing of use on them, even their weapons were looking worse for wear, and they likely wouldn’t have made it another winter as they were. However, one had something that was of more value to you than anything else they could’ve harboured together, a transfer pump. On a highway filled with abandoned cars, we’re guaranteed to get something working and a full tank of gas. 

I make my way back to Joel, he’s barely alert but has enough in him to point his gun at me upon arrival. Raising my hands in defence I reassure him that it’s just me. 

“Rest up, I’ll keep watch. You get busy healing.”

Joel lets out an entertained scoff before allowing exhaustion to take over. 

As the sun begins to rise, its rays wake Joel. He seems slightly confused at first but relaxes when he sees me and remembers last night's events.

“How’re you feeling?” “Pretty good, all things considered,” he says while lifting his shirt and looking at his bandaged wound. The bandage is still clean of any blood or any other excrements which is a good sign. 

“Good because we’ve got a mission.”

“Oh yeah, what's that?” His rough voice asks.

“Getting one of them cars out there to work.”

“Then we better get going.”

We pick a truck that seems to be in order besides a few parts and the fact that it’s blocked in by other cars. 

“You ever fix up a car before? Because you were never a car person before.” Joel asks.

“Nope, and I’m still not but I spent time with a group that did and I learnt enough to escape them so I’m more qualified now. You?”

Joel shakes his head, seemingly thinking of something rather than answering my question. 

God isn’t real, that much is clear given the current state of the world but I might have a guardian angel because, after a few hours, Joel and I are able to get a truck running. We then spend some time pushing other cars out of the way before we’re able to drive. I’m tired, I haven’t slept in days, I was supposed to take a night's rest when Joel stumbled upon me but he needed it more than me and now that things are going to plan my body begins giving out. I look at Joel in the driver's seat, “where are we going?”

“How about West? We go further East and the coast will make some unforgiving winters. Plus, Tommy’s out West.”

“West it is.”

Once he gets us off the crowded highway, he speaks up.

“Get some rest, you need it.”

I smile, “Yeah… I missed you too,” then prop myself against the window and close my eyes. 

I’m softly awoken by Joel's sturdy hand on my thigh and his deep hushed voice, “C’mon baby, let's get some rest.”

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, my neck and shoulders sore from the odd position they found themselves in. Joel makes his way to and opens my door, wraps his arm around my waist and leads me out of the truck and towards a long, 2-story building. 

“Where are we?” I ask gruffly.

“An abandoned motel. I’ve already scouted it out, it’s safe.”

I’d normally yell at him for doing something as stupid as clearing a building alone when he has help but I’m too tired. So I lean into Joel and allow him to lead me to a room. Inside is a dingy mattress with some threadbare pillows and blankets, our bags are already stashed under the beaten-up desk, Joel prepped the room before bringing me in, that caring bastard. Joel sits me down on the bed, I fight slumber while watching Joel push random furniture in front of the door and draw the musty curtains over the boarded-up window. Someone was clearly here before us and made it their safe space, I try not to think about what happened to them. 

Joel makes his way to me, I can see a small smile on his face, trying to hide the amusement he’s getting from me fighting to stay awake.

“Lay down, baby. We’re safe.”

I do as he says and Joel sits at the foot of the bed, taking my feet into his lap. He begins to carefully remove my shoes. Suddenly I can keep my eyes open with some ease and I watch him, his steady hands and caring face. My chest fills with a warm radiating love, I haven't seen a man with such soft emotions in his eyes in years. Joel hasn’t been consumed by anger, he’s still human, still a good man. It was touching to see given that most of us were left in a world where there was no one else to leave and no one else to love. Looking at Joel I felt some peace, I didn’t care where we were or where we were going, as long as I was with him. 

Finally, Joel gets up and joins me in bed, he keeps a respectable distance but in my sleepy state, I have the confidence to inch my way against him, spooning him while resting my forehead in between his shoulder blades. I fall asleep with my arms and thoughts filled with my southern sunshine. 

We spend a few days resting before continuing our travels West to Tommy, which sounds like paradise from Joel’s description. 

“How much longer of travelling d we have ahead of us?” “Probably no more than 3 days, we’re close.” “Why’d we stop if were so close?” “Needed the rest, plus there are so cars here that we’ll take the gas from.”

I nod, half believing him. 3 days is nothing it seems odd that he stopped for multiple days for 3 days of travel. Unless the next 3 days are hell…

“Do you know something I don’t?” I ask.

“What d’ya mean?”

“Resting multiple days for 3 days of travel? What’s up ahead that I don’t know about?”

“I hope nothin’”

“But there was something?”

“No, look I just- I thought we could use the rest, you’re complicatin’ it”

I’m still skeptical but I let it go. Joel’s being weird, sure we were tired, we always were but you had to trudge on to survive. 

“Let’s go,” he says while getting up and grabbing his things to leave. 

Joel hands me my backpack, I let out a quiet ‘thanks’ shy under his direct gaze. 

“We’ve got some gas to steal,” I say while we leave, distracting myself. I hear Joel let out a scoff to cover his laugh. A smile takes over my face in pride knowing I can still make the man laugh, a laugh I’d kill to hear more often. When we step out of the motel, the morning sun is warm and welcoming. I feel… new. I’m not one for ‘signs from the universe’ but the sunrise and its accompanying warmth gave me this sense that this was a new beginning and that things are going to be okay. I stop to bask in it, letting the sun warm my face and seep into my bones. Joel stops beside me and when I look to him he’s also taken by the sunrise. He looks almost at peace, like in this brief moment the war in his head, heartbreak from his past, and the worry of tomorrow, have all quieted down, allowing him a moment of enjoyment. He looks so pretty. The moment ends and Joel looks at me, catching me staring. 

“Hmm?”

“Nothing, I just- You look-.” I take a breath, trying to collect myself while my mind swarms with thousands of things I want to say to him. “I’m just… really happy to have found you again.”

I’m too scared to allow him to respond or even react because I’m already walking away, “c’mon we’re getting gas, remember?”

Joel spends 20 hours driving, he's tired and fighting sleep. 

“Joel let me drive, I promise not to crash and I’ll wake you if we die.”

He smiles, glancing at me, “you know where we’re going?”

Shit. “No…”

Joel laughs at my realization.

“We’ll show me on a map! Then I’ll follow that.” I explain excitedly.

“Aren’t you ‘map blind’ as you always put it?”

Just then, Joel and I are years younger, pre-outbreak young. We’re each other's rocks, constantly teasing one another while never letting the other fall.

“You remember that?”

“Course I do, you couldn’t read that damn map even if there was a ‘you’re here’ sticker on it. You gawked at that thing like I handed you an old scripture in hieroglyphics.”

Joel looks young, the recounting of that story releasing the constant stress in his face and body. 

“You had it upside down.”

I can’t help but laugh, I did have it upside down. And even in an apocalypse, I am still map blind. However, Joel remembering such a trivial moment in our time together in our past life has me astounded. In a world where life, as you know it is flipped upside down and your daughter is taken from you while still in your arms… it’s hard to imagine those moments still taking up space in his memory. 

“I can’t believe you remember that.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” “I don't know because there's so much happening all the time and there's other things that are more worthy of being remembered.”

Joel's face falls, his eyes follow suit, looking at the ground. My name falls from his mouth like a whispered prayer, scared that if it can be heard by the human ear it’ll be tainted. “I held onto every memory of you because sometimes… sometimes it’s one of the few things that keeps me going. I treasured our time together then but now? Now, I hold onto those memories because they remind me of who I was, they ground me, and remind me of how there was so much good in the world.”

He stops but there are still words that are stuck on his tongue, “I thought I lost you for good. Tommy and I- we looked for you but you know how it goes. I accepted that you- that you were no longer a part of this cold and selfish world and yet… here you are. And you still have that warm smile, you’ve kept the damned sense of humour and you’re just as snarky, if not more so, than before.”

My eyes are hot with tears, not the usual tears of loss or frustration or hopelessness but tears of love. I love this man. I loved him then and I love him now and I don’t know if anything could ever change that. I quickly wipe a defiant tear as if he wouldn’t see it. My overwhelming emotions leave me unable to speak, so I don’t, instead, I take his hand in mine. I hold him like a loving partner holding their sick lover's hand to provide comfort, I hold him like my life depended on it, I hold him like he’s my everything because he is. 

“You’re one sappy son of a bitch, Joel Miler,” I say quietly.

His chest rumbles with a low chuckle, and his warm thumb smooths over my hand. I relish in the moment of intimacy. Loving intimacy is harder to come by than kindness in this world even in something as small as hand-holding. I think it is more likely that I read a map correctly than I come in contact with regular loving intimacy. Everyone is touch starved and yet no one is willing to be vulnerable enough to provide that touch because people are too selfish for it to be a safe and wholesome act, because one that is often abused and adulterated.

“Only for you, darlin’”

“Well then let’s pull over so you can get some sleep,” I then bring his hand to my lips and give him a small kiss. 

Joel hides us in some foliage, trying to ensure we don’t stick out like easy prey out in the open. We fold the back seats and do our best to make the musty upholstery comfortable, not that it’s the worst place either of us has slept. The sun will rise in a couple hours and in dead spaces like this? That signals a sort of quiet. Most hunters move at night in these areas, trying to catch innocents off guard while they’re trying to rest. Travellers move as fast as they can in the night thinking danger will be asleep. The world is a free-for-all but when the sun sets? It becomes a war against you and every other thing, living or not. 

“I’ll keep watch, you rest,” I tell Joel.

“Ain’t you tired?”

“I got some sleep in the car, plus if I really need it, I can sleep when we’re on the road again.”

I sit myself up against the back of the driver's seat, placing different clothing items in my lap, “come on, I promise not to fall asleep,” I tell Joel, gesturing to the makeshift pillow I’ve made with my lap and clothing. 

Wordlessly Joel situates himself, laying on his back with his head in my lap, groaning when his body relaxes and he becomes aware of the tired and sore muscles within his body. Something is missing… 

“Oh,” I begin ruffling through my bag, “here,” I pull a blanket from my bag and place it over Joel’s body. The blanket is worn out but it’s more for the comfort of having than it is for warmth. A soft, barely audible ‘thank you’ escapes Joel.

With the man's eyes closed I selfishly stare, taking in his face. Theres more lines than there were before which I expect after 20 years but they’re not where I want them to be. Instead of crow's feet from a smile reaching his eyes he has wrinkles between his brows from having them furrowed too often.  In place of smile lines, he has frown lines, lines that tell a story of a resilient man living a hard life. Even with his eyes closed he still holds the face of a hardened man. His hair and facial hair are peppered with grey and even in a world s dirty as this I can’t help but run my hands through it. At first, Joel tenses, a reflex nearly everyone has developed to stay alive. But when his mind reminds him it is the hand of the person whose lap he rests his head in, he relaxes. Joel not only relaxes to post-outbreak Joel but, after a few moments, to pre-outbreak Joel. All the lines and wrinkles in his face soften, he doesn’t look young like you often hear, but he looks calmer. In my lap is a man whose gone through hell and back and is finally letting a couple walls down after decades of hardship, he almost looks relieved.  His hair tells me the same thing as his face, caked with dirt and oil and tangled from years of neglect and unrelenting weather, he’s a man who’s been stretched far too thin. I continue running my fingers through his hair during the hours that he sleeps no matter how ‘gross’ it is because the truth is, my fingers are just as covered with the survival of this world. In this musty truck with our unwashed bodies and difficult pasts, things almost feel normal, the birds sing and rise with the sun and I can almost imagine we’re on Joel’s old tattered couch, having stayed up late to watch a movie only to have one of us pass out before the climax. 

Unfortunately, the man only sleeps a handful of hours, it’s not even mid-day when he wakes. Although it’s probably the longest he’s slept in a while and the first time he’s woken up peacefully, not in a panic or with an impending task looming over his head. Joel is pulled from his slumber not because he’s well rested but because our minds are never completely at rest, we don’t have time to be so vulnerable for so long. His eyes, still filled with sleep, look for mine immediately, like he knows rationally I’m still here because his head is still in a warm lap but he’s scared that it’s an illusion and he’ll break that illusion when he opens his eyes and doesn’t find mine. When the illusion doesn’t disappear, I speak up, “Morning, southern sunshine.”

“Southern sunshine?”

“Yeah, 'cause you’re from Texas and… you always brighten my day,” I shrug. An amused scoff escapes him while he sits up, blocking me from seeing his face.

“You, my dear, are too sweet for me.”

“Why? Can’t handle it?” I tease.

“Don’t deserve it,” his voice is a little lower with those words, they’re filled with doubt.

“Well, that’s ain’t true. You deserved it then and you deserve it now more than ever. I might not know the horrors that haunt your past in between then and now, but… I know Joel Miller and he’s more deserving of someone's unyielding love and affection more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

He looks over his shoulder at me, face heavy with a mix of disbelief and self-hatred: a look he shouldn’t hold. My brows crease with worry and sadness, I slowly place my hand on his cheek like he’s a scared animal that might run if I move too fast. Instead, he leans into it for a moment before taking my wrist in his hand and pulling my palm to his lips where he kisses me. Still holding my hand between the two of us he gives me a small smile. Not a happy or grateful smile but a doleful one, one that says ‘this can’t continue, we have to keep going, there’s no time for us’. So, silently that's what we do, we get back on the road and continue West.

The remaining drive is relatively quiet, a mix of comfortable and awkward silence, like sometimes we don’t what to do with ourselves regarding the idea or possibility of us. Then it dawns on me, after years of not knowing I’ll (hopefully) get to see Tommy. I’m not sure if I sigh or mumble or if there’s just a shift in the air but Joel turns to me, then back at the road and back at me pensively. 

“What’s wrong?”

I take s deep breath, “I’ll get to see Tommy,” my voice is soft like if I say it too decisively I’d jinx it. Joel hums in response.

Holy fucking shit. The outbreak took nearly everything from everyone, but two of my loved ones were still alive and I’m about to be reunited with both of them. People I love unconditionally, that I spent days with together, people I lost for years and grieved, are alive and returning to my life. I’m overwhelmed with conflicting emotions, I’m ecstatic to see them again, I’ve been given a second life with them, and I love them and want them back in my life. My heart is filled with happiness and loves but my chest is heavy with fear. I’m scared, scared of how our relationship has changed, scared of how different the past has changed us, scared to lose them again. My body is hot like it’s overworked with the flood of emotions, and they’re just boiling to the surface. Slow tears reluctantly sting my face.

“Hey hey hey hey hey, what’s going on?” Joel asks confused.

I snap my head towards him with fearful eyes, like a deer looking at the driver that’s about to hit them, “I’m not ready!”

“What do you mean ‘you’re not ready’?”

That question opens the floodgate to the storm that is in my mind.

“I’ve been alone for years. Years! I’m completely independent, I don’t need anyone and I tricked myself into believing that I don’t want anyone.  And-and-and we’ve all changed, we’ve all done things we thought impossible for us before, and we’ve all done things that haunt us. What if- what if that’s changed us so much that the person I know from before is dead and someone new is occupying the body I’m familiar with? I want things to be how they were but they’re not going to be and I don’t know what that means. And we’ve lived different lives now that-…”

“Do you hate me?”

Joel interrupts and shocks me, “wha- no, why on earth would you think that?!”

“Well, you seem so worried that things will be so different we won’t be able to be a family like we once were. Yet, here are the two of us…” 

Closer than ever.

He doesn’t finish the sentence like he’s unsure of the right words to use. Neither of us explicitly acknowledging what’s between us.

“Things are different. They have to be. We’ve all lost so much, including pieces of our old selves, but, I know that I still love you… and Tommy… but don’t tell him I told you that.”

I laugh at Joel’s brotherly love but my mind raves with how he stopped with me, like adding Tommy was an afterthought.

I didn't realize Joel rested his warm hand on my thigh until he gives it a squeeze, I don’t know how long it’s been there but I welcome the comfort as it calms the sea within me.

“Right…” I take hold of his hand kissing it as I did before and keeping it in my grasp. There are a few moments of silence as Joel allows me to calm down.

“Tommy’s gonna lose his damn mind when he sees you.”

The two of us can’t help but laugh not so much at Joel's comment but at the rarity of it all, what are the odds we would find each other again.

We drive over a small hill, revealing a fenced civilization in the lowland.

“Hooollly shit…” I breathe, “it’s a whole city…”

“Sure is. Guess he didn’t do too bad.”

I let out an incredulous laugh, “they have electricity?”

“Yup.”

“Hot water?” “Mhmm.”

I fall silent in disbelief and overwhelming joy, “I haven’t had a proper shower in… years.” “I can tell,” Joel jokes.

I shove his arm, “watch it southern sunshine, you’re pretty ripe too.”

Joel chuckles. 

At the gates we’re asked who we are, Joel explains but they’re still skeptical. 

“Just get Tommy,” Joel says.

“Tommy’s busy.”

Joel scoffs, and mumbles a ‘busy my ass’ to himself. 

“Alright then get Maria, she’ll have questions anyway.”

“I don-”

“Boy, do you want me to have to explain to her how you refused to get her and made a big fuss outta something that should’ve been finished already?” The man behind the gate disappears, likely to get this Maria.

“Who’s Mari-”

I’m cut off by a woman shouting in a calm yet authoritative voice, “LET HIM IN!” 

When my eyes land on the woman I see she's waving us in motioning for the others to open the gates. As we wait for the gate to open, I nod towards the woman, “Maria?”

“Yup.”

“I like her.”

Again Joel chuckles, “You ain’t even met her yet.” “True but I like her, I can feel it.”

“Well, you ain’t wrong. You’ll definitely get on with her,” I smile at Joel’s words while he pauses, “which is what I’m worried about,” he finishes. 

Maria gives us a quick motion telling Joel where to park, when the truck's engine stops filling my ears I realize how nervous I am again. Joel grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze, “C’mon don’t you want that shower? You certainly need it.”

He hopes out of the truck before I can berate him. I make my way around the vehicle next to Joel.

“Been a while,” Maria opens. 

“Yeah, I know. Trying to stay alive seems to take up most of my time,” he shrugs. 

“And you?” she asks me. 

“Oh-”

“This-,” Joel attempts to answer but Maria stops him, “I didn’t ask you.”

Joel stops and almost visibly cowers, his head downcast like a kid in trouble. 

When my name leaves my lips a look of shock passes over Maria’s face.

“Well I’ll be damned, Tommy might just shit himself.” Joel and I chuckle but mine’s more in confusion. “Y-you know of me?” “Pfft, course I do. You kept these two idiots alive before shit hit the fan.”

At that, I let out a genuine chuckle. 

“Tommy’s on patrol so let me get yall settled til then.” She begins walking and we follow.

We were welcomed so fast it goes against everything I’ve come to learn in the last few years. I lean towards Joel whispering, “are they not going to check if we’re infected?” “Generally? Yes, they would. But given that it's me and you? They trust us. Plus last I checked we haven’t been bitten, so what’re you worryin’ for?”

At that, I shrug, it's just instinct to be weary of everyone all the time. 

Maria brings us to a house, not a completely run-down house, not a building that will suffice as a shelter for a short period, but an uninhabited home.  

“Get cleaned up and by then Tommy should be back. Meet at ours for 3?” Maria asks, although I get the sense she’s not really asking. 

Joel nods. 

“There are some clothes in the hallway closet, have at em’ wouldn’t make sense for yall to shower and get back into dirty clothes. “

“Thank you, Maria,” I cut in. 

“Of course. Can’t wait to see Tommy’s face,” and with that, she turns off the porch and leaves us. 

Joel closes the door and begins dropping his things, “go on and shower, just don’t use all the hot water, yeah?”

‘First of all, if I’m getting into a running shower with hot water… not only am I using it all but I might just cause a drought. Second, why don’t you join me?” All confidence I had prior to making the offer is gone and I’m left wondering why the hell I opened my big mouth like that. Joel clears his throat, “I- uh-”

“I didn’t mean- just like- the water is warm and then no one has to fight and water conservation and all that and I-”

I’m too busy babbling to realize that Joel is watching me with an amused smirk before letting out a chuckle that brings me back to earth. 

“I know what you meant darlin’, I was gonna say I’d like that.”

“Oh…”

“C’mon we’ve got some warm water and real soap calling our names,” he says while leading the way.

I’m surprised he said yes. I mean throughout our journey here we’ve shared some affectionate moments, even before the outbreak we did. But the Joel I knew then was pretty closed off and pales in comparison to the Joel I met a few months ago. We beat around the bush, never explicitly mentioning what we’re doing or what we may be. I know with his divorce, the loss of Sarah and just who Joel is that he doesn’t come by commitment and intimacy easily. The outbreak has changed us all and for Joel that meant protecting his heart a little more than before in fear of how the world may strip him of what he loves again. So… I don’t push him, I love him however he’ll let me and accept whatever he’s willing to give me because I know the Joel inside his rugged exterior and he’s worth waiting for. I let him lead us upstairs to the bathroom, the calmness and security of the house brings back a domestic Joel that I’ve missed. Joel starts the shower before leaning over me, “Why don’t you get a head start and I’ll go get us some clothes,” then he leans in and kisses my cheek and all I can do is nod in adoration. 

While Joel leaves to get us the clothes, I strip off my grimy ones and get into the stream of hot water. I groan escapes my lips as the hot water cascades down my body, already cleaning better than the attempts I’ve made over the years. My muscles yearn for the relaxation and healing that comes with its warmth. The cleanliness of the water makes me aware of how dirty I am and feel. I reach for the bar of soap, lifting it to my nose and smelling the notes of lemon and mint, someone here has worked hard to make these bars. I begin to lather my body in the velvety luxury, the steam of the shower accentuating the soap's scent. I’m so caught up in myself I don’t realize Joel’s returned until he’s joining me in the shower. He presses himself against my back and wraps his arms around my waist. We close our eyes savouring the moment that almost replicates something that could have been before the outbreak. I turn us around so Joel can be in the stream of water. While facing me with his hands on my waist, I take some shampoo in my hands and begin emulsifying it in his hair. I massage his scalp for a while, lifting the stubborn dirt while relaxing him, using my nails I give him some light scratches, refreshing the follicles and gifting the nerves a tingling sensation. A few groans escape him when I reach particular points but this moment is nothing but pure. I drop my hands from his head, keeping them on his shoulders. When Joel tilts his head back into the stream of water I return my hands to the base of his scalp slowly massaging the soapy water from it. Throughout this, his eyes remain closed in blissful indulgence. 

When his hair is clean, he turns us around and washes my hair. My arms remain wrapped around his shoulders while his hands make careful movements, his face softens and his eyes remain lovingly trained on my hair. He spends some extra time lathering, just playing with my soaped-up hair. When I tilt my head into the stream of water he kisses my forehead, I open my eyes to find his looking into mine tenderly. We freeze for a moment, both scared to make the next move. 

“Tell me I can kiss you,” I whisper.

A corner of his lips quirk upwards, “Anytime darlin’,” he says while leaning in and joining our lips together. The kiss isn’t lewd or filled with sexual tension but filled with fearful love. Love that can appear so quiet but wreaks havoc inside the individual, a cyclone of fear that your love may leave, move on or end up entangled in a worse fate. Love that hurts the beholder with its overwhelming size, that one may bust at the seams at any moment because their body just can’t contain it. We spend time so wrapped up in each other, so much said without a word being spoken, that the water begins to lose its warmth. 

“Go get dressed, I’ll finish up and join you,” Joel utters in a hushed tone. 

I nod and peck his lips once more before reluctantly leaving him. 

In the bedroom, I find warm clothes: sweatpants that aren’t tattered, they still have the soft fluffy cotton on the inside; a large t-shirt that doesn’t have more than the necessary 4 holes; and a woolly cardigan that isn’t holding so much moisture that it’s its own breeding ground for mould and bacteria. 

When Joel comes out and dresses, it’s time for us to make our way to Maria and Tommy’s. I’m still nervous, my stomach is twisted in excitement and anxiety. When we arrive on the porch I suddenly feel uplifted. “Wait! You open the door and I’ll stay hidden before revealing myself, don’t tell him anything!”

Joel chuckles, “you really do wanna give the man a heart attack.”

I press myself against the house behind the screen door, Joel knocks and inside we hear his muddled voice, “Who the hell is that?”

Maria doesn’t say anything or if she does we don’t hear it. Then the door opens and a heavy silence drops before Tommy speaks, “Son of a bitch, who let this old fuck in!”

The brothers embrace one another and then I make my way around the door, “If you’re that shocked to see him wait till you realize that I’m here too.”

Tommy's eyes widen, for a split second I think they’ll pop. He, in brotherly fashion, quickly removes himself from Joel and pushes him aside. 

“This ain’t real,” he says while standing in front of me.

“I can hit you if you’d like, if not to convince you then for old time's sake?”

“Oh my god,” Tommy says while laughing in disbelief. He tightly wraps his arms around me, when he lets go his hands remain gripping my shoulders looking at me like he had to double-check if things were true. 

“Holy shit…”

I laugh and see Maria leaning in the doorway with a smile on her lips, I return the gesture. 

“Well… aren’t you going to let us in or keep us out here on the porch like some stays?” I tease. 

The evening passes fast, turns out we had a lot of catching up to fit in in the few hours that was dinner. Everyone has a smile on their face and exited disbelief in their eyes. When dinner is finished I get up to help Maria, which she attempts to decline. “Maria, c’mon? You welcomed us, gave me some of the best clothes I’ve worn in years along with a hot shower and filled our stomachs with delicious food. I wasn’t asking.”

My authoritativeness seems to impress and please her as she just gives me a smile and walks into the kitchen. 

“We’ll let the boys catch up on whatever it is those two get up to,” Maria yells from the kitchen.

I laugh and join her, “You heard the woman, go on, get!”

The Miller brothers leave to sit outside on the porch while Maria and I fall into easy conversation about ourselves and how we found ourselves in the Miller's lives. 

“So how long have you and Joel been together?” “Oh- it’s not- we’re not-”

Maria laughs as I stumble to find the right words, “Okay so Mr. Scared of commitment hasn’t officially labelled it. But, you’re together. So, how long?”

“Oh…uh… I don’t know, we were reunited a few months ago but-”

Maria chuckles, “Oh my dear, you really are blind aren’t you?” “What?”

“I don’t mean when you reunited or when did you guys start being more affectionate or anything like that. I mean, how long have the two of you been in love?” I’m dumbfounded, what does she know that I don’t?

“That man has been in love with you forever. Now I’m not basing this off the fact that he looks at you like he’s afraid to let you go even for a second or the fact that his entire demeanour lightens when he looks at you. Even Tommy knows, he watched you two lovebirds beat around the bush for years I think you referred to you two as ‘a couple of love-sick puppies’. You’ve been in love before the outbreak, yes?” “Yes,” I shyly admit. 

“And Joel has loved you for just as long if not longer. You may not see it but it’s true and in this world, we don’t have time to deny ourselves of any love we may have a chance at. Don’t let him believe he can go about this world as a lone wolf forever.”

~~~ JOEL’S POV ~~~ 

The sun is setting, taking its warmth with it. Tommy and I sit in silence, not because there’s nothing to say but because we’ve got so much to say and don’t know where to start. Both of us sipping our respective drinks. “Can’t believe they’re alive… or that we’ve all been reunited,” Tommy says.

“You and me both.”

“You better not blow this again,” Tommy said while taking a sip from his glass.

“What d’ya mean?”

Tommy scoffs, “You might be my older brother but you really are an idiot. Don’t let them get away again, we don’t normally get second chances in this life. You’ve been handed a second chance on a fucking silver platter. I love you but if you fuck this up?” Tommy finishes with a scoff. 

There’s a heavy silence for a few moments before Tommy presses on.

“You love them.”

“Is that supposed to be a question?” “No, you do love them. I ain’t asking. I want you to accept it and, for the love of god, admit it.”

“ I don’t kn-” “Oh cut the shit, Joel. You’ve been in love for years, before this damn virus. I watched the two of you act like a damn couple but then have these moments of… weird, awkwardness as if you’ve just realized what you’ve done and are like ‘oh yeah we’re not actually together better backtrack a bit’. I mean for fucks sake just admit it, tell them, be together.”

I sigh. I know I love them and that I’m in love with them, but admitting it opens me to the possibility of losing them and I’ve lost too many to want to open myself to that hurt again. But he’s right, I’ve been given another chance. The apocalypse separated us and has nearly liked us dozens of times but then we were accidentally reunited. I’ve spent months with them, sharing close proximity and moments of loving affection. How can I be so stupid, in closing myself off I nearly lost them while trying to avoid just that. 

“Fuck…” I murmur.

“Go on, go get them.”

I quickly get up, entering the house with urgency. 

~~~ YOUR POV ~~~    

The front door opens with a sense of urgency. Maria and I turn towards the sound and heavy boots bring Joel in. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Can I uh, steal them?” Joel asks Maria.

She smiles and pops a hip out, leaning against the counter, “it’s about time,” Maria nods me towards him.

I join him and while we’re leaving out the front door Tommy enters the house, giving his brother a pat on the shoulder. Joel has a nervous air around him and he grabs my arm and urgently takes me onto the porch. When the door closes I speak out.

“Joel what the hell are you-”

I stopped when Joel grabs my face in his hands and kisses me. This kiss is urgent, filled with a passion of gratitude and unease. When we release Joel doesn’t pull away far.

“Joel what-”

“I need you to know something,” he interrupts quickly, he takes a breath and continues in a slower calmer manner, “I’ve spent so much time with you, shared so many memories with you, and you might not be my love but honestly? I doubt it. I love you. I’ve always loved you, you’re my family and I’m no longer going to push you away in fear of losing you because I’ll lose you by doing that. I’d rather fear losing you, having loved you rather than losing you anyways and wondering what could have been.”

“Oh Joel,” I say with a soft sigh, “You think I would have agreed to get in the damn pick-up with you with nothing but what was on us and some dumb luck if I didn’t love you?”

Joel smiles, “Hey, do you want to explore the west with me?” he ends by motioning between us and with a teasing tone.

“I’ve spent a lot of time without love and a lot of time with you, and there’s nothing I’d like more than to explore the two together.”

We share a small kiss, “it only took an apocalypse for us to get together,” I laugh.

“That might be true but I’m happy we got here.”

“Me too… We don’t actually have to go West, right? Like that was a metaphor,”

Joel laughs at me, “Yeah baby, I mean I’m happy as long as we’re together but if you don’t want to stay-”

“No, no. I want to stay. We’re staying.” “Good.”

We watch the last bit of the sunset in each other's arms. We don’t know what tomorrow holds but we’ll figure that out and we’ll do it together. 

Taglist: ​​@spideysimpossiblegirl @littlemisspascal @writer-darling @avengetheunnatural @louderfortheback @Currentobsessionrabbithole

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller #tlou #tlou joel #thoroughfare

[finnsbubblegum]

Second Chance (Joel Miller x Reader)

Pairing: post-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: I choose not to use warnings to avoid spoilers.

Summary (Series): You were popular in Jackson but you have been single your whole life. Despite many men flirting with you, you have never found your ideal type. Until one day, you saw Joel and you fell in love at first sight.  But he felt insecure.

Summary: Pov: Joel being the best husband in the world.

Words count: 2.5k

A/N: This is part 8 (last one) for I Don’t Deserve You series. But it can also be read as a standalone. I’ve been having baby fever lately, that's why I’m writing about pregnancy lol. If you don’t like it, I’m sorry. But I swear it's just fluff, hope you like it!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

You had been trying to move to both of your sides but you couldn’t find a comfortable sleeping position. You knew Joel must be tired from working so you didn’t want to disturb Joel’s sleep. 

You sighed as you got up and walked to the living room. 

“Can you let me sleep, please?” You rested your hand on your belly talking to your baby who had been kicking you the whole night.

“Please.” You begged as your baby kicked you again.

You tried to lay down on the sofa and you still felt uncomfortable. You wanted to lay on your stomach but you couldn’t. You were tired and you just wanted to sleep. You couldn’t hold it so you cried. It was probably 3AM and you were sitting on the sofa alone, sobbing in the dark. 

“Baby?” You heard Joel walking down the stairs.

You turned your head to look at him. Your eyes were red and your face was wet with tears. 

“Why are you not in the bed with me?” He came closer to you.

“Are you crying? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He cupped your cheeks.

You shook your head. 

“What’s wrong baby?” He rubbed your back in circles.

“I can’t sleep.” You wiped your tears on your cheek.

Joel stroked your hair. He was feeling helpless because he couldn’t do anything to help you.

“The baby keeps kicking me and waking me up. It’s so uncomfortable. And I miss sleeping on my stomach.” You cried.

“I’m sorry, baby. Hey there, be good to your mama.” Joel poked your belly with his index finger and moved his head closer to your belly and talked to his baby. It’s the least thing he could think of to help you feel better.

“I think they listen to you.” You didn’t know your baby’s gender so you called your baby they.

“Thank you.” You kissed Joel.

“Come to bed with me?” Joel held your hands and you nodded.

The sun was rising and Joel groaned. He turned to look at you and rested his hand on your thigh stroking it up and down. You didn’t really sleep well but you smiled at him. You were thankful to have him beside you.

“Morning.” Joel leaned in to kiss you.

“Morning.” You stroked his head trying to fix his messy morning hair.

You started your day as usual by having breakfast with your family, Joel and Ellie.

“I’m going to school. See you!” Ellie put on her backpack and was ready to go out.

“Have a great day, kiddo.” Joel pat Ellie’s head. Ellie gave him a side eye.

“Have a great day at school, Ellie.” You smiled and rubbed your belly.

“You’re going somewhere?” Joel put on his jacket as you tried to wear your shoes.

“I’m meeting Maria.” You struggled wearing your shoes. You couldn’t tie your shoes because of how big your belly was.

“Girl’s day out?” Joel crouched to help you tie your shoes.

“Uh-huh.” 

“Done.” He groaned as he stood back. You could hear a crack from his knee.

“Thank you, darling.” You smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Anything for you.” He kissed your lips and went to work.

You went home after your day with Maria and heard Joel’s groan and a loud thud. 

“Joel?” You walked slowly upstairs.

“What are you doing?” You saw Joel was placing a bed on your bed.

“Got this for you.” He wiped his sweat on his forehead.

“A new bed?” You were confused.

“Yeah. You told me you missed sleeping on your stomach. Thought this might work.” He put his hands on his waist proud of his invention.

You wondered what was so special about the bed than a normal bed so you step closer to look. It was a bed with a hole the size of your stomach in the middle. 

“Did you make this by yourself?” You laughed.

“Uh-huh. I’m smart, ain’t I?” He put on a proud face.

“It’s brilliant.” You let out a tear from your eyes and hugged him.

“Hop on. Why don’t you try it? See if it works?” 

You hopped on the bed which was slightly higher so Joel helped you. You slowly laid down on your stomach and put your belly right in the hole. 

“Hmm.” You rested your head on the bed. 

“I missed this feeling.” You closed your eyes.

“It fits.” Joel threw a fist in the air.

“Thank you, baby. You’re the best husband in the world.” You gestured Joel to come closer and you gave him a kiss.

“Anytime.” He smiled.

“By the way, Sam’s having a birthday party at the bar tomorrow night. They’re inviting us. Do you want to come?” You asked Joel.

“Will Tommy come?” Joel would go if his brother goes.

“I think so. As far as I know, Maria told me she’ll go.” You shrugged.

“Alright, I’ll go. But me and Tommy will be working a bit late tomorrow.”

“That’s fine. I can go there with Maria and we can meet at the bar.” 

At the bar

“It’s them!” You pointed as you saw Joel’s and Tommy’s figure.

“Here!” You and Maria waved your hand.

“Hey, baby.” Tommy kissed Maria.

“Did you wait long?” Joel rubbed your belly.

“Pretty long.” You smirked.

“Sorry.” Joel kissed you.

The waitress came and offered drinks. You forgot you were pregnant for a second and instinctively grabbed a glass of alcohol.

“Nuh-uh, you’re not drinking alcohol, mama.” Joel snatched the glass you were holding.

“Oh! Right! Forgot I’m pregnant for a second.” You covered your face in embarrassment.

Everybody laughed.

“Let’s go to Sam and say happy birthday.” You held Joel’s hand.

“Sam! Happy birthday you birthday boy!” You hugged him.

“Thank you! You’re really big!” His eyes widened as he saw your belly.

“Few more weeks to go.” You laughed.

You, Joel and Sam had a chat for a while then Sam went to talk with his other friends. 

“Shit! Joel..” You squeezed Joel’s wrist.

He quickly turned his head to the direction where you were looking. It was Josh. He was walking towards you and Joel and you had eye contact with him. You hadn’t seen him for a long long time and suddenly he showed up now. He looked different from the last time you saw him. He looked awful, his eyes had dark circles, hair and facial hair was messy. You were trembling. You were scared of him. Especially since you were carrying Joel’s baby now. You didn’t want to risk your baby’s life for a mere psycho. 

“Let’s get out of here, baby.” Joel dragged you but you froze.

“Baby..It’s okay. I’m here. He’s not gonna hurt you.” Joel cupped your cheeks.

Josh was walking closer to you. You saw his pace was faster or was it just your imagination?

“It should have been mine!” Josh shouted as he stabbed a knife towards your belly.

You gasped as you tried to stop him from stabbing your belly. You were in pain grasping the knife with both of your hands. Blood was dripping to the floor. Joel turned to Josh and he tackled him. Joel was too late to stop him from stabbing you. Everyone’s eyes were now at you. Tommy and Maria ran towards you. 

“Are you okay?” Maria saw your bleeding hands.

You were in shock. You couldn’t feel whether the blood was from your hands or your belly. You didn’t dare to look down because you were too scared to see. What if the knife got in your belly? What if you had to lose your baby? You couldn’t live with that. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It didn’t get to your baby. You stopped it. But you need to get your hands fixed.” Maria assured you as she covered your hands with a cloth.

You closed your eyes, tears streaming down your cheeks, and you exhaled. You slowly looked down and saw that your baby was okay. 

Meanwhile, Joel was hitting Josh over and over like he was a punching bag. He didn’t care about the fact that almost the whole town was staring at him. He was too wrathful to let someone hurt his wife and baby. The people he loved the most.

“Joel! Stop it!” Tommy tried to stop him but Joel fought him.

Josh’s face was already red with blood. You couldn’t even recognize his face. He was already unconscious and laying on the floor but Joel kept punching him. 

“Joel, baby, please..” You cried.

Joel stopped and glanced at you. His eyes were full of anger.

“Will you take me home, please?” You begged.

“Get her home, Joel. I got this.” Tommy held Joel’s shoulder.

“I’m not done with him, Tommy.” He growled as he stood up.

“Got it.” Tommy nodded.

“You okay, baby?” He put his hands on your shoulder.

“I stopped it with my hands. I’m okay.” 

“Let’s go home.” He put his arms around you and walked home.

“Wait here.” Joel sat you on the bed while he prepared a warm bath for you.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He held both of your upper arms and guided you to the bathroom.

Joel held your arm as you slowly hopped in the bathtub filled with warm water.

“Will you hold me?” You sat in the bathtub and asked him to join you.

He nodded and took off his clothes. Then he joined you in the bathtub sitting behind you. After he settled in a comfortable position, he pulled you to his chest and let you rest on his chest. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” He apologized as he raised your wounded hand and looked at it.

“It’s fine. You did your best. He didn’t hurt our baby. That’s all that matters.” 

Joel kissed your shoulder. You hissed when he rinsed your hands to the water to clean it. He helped you bathe with his palm pouring water to your body. Slowly and passionately. You went to bed with Joel after the bath and got your wound fixed.

The next day you went to the council as a victim of murder attempt. Apparently, Tommy put Josh on trial with the council. Everyone witnessed what happened so he was given punishment immediately. The town agreed to banish Josh outside Jackson. You finally felt safe now. On the other side, Joel was angry at Tommy. What he meant was for Tommy to keep Josh himself so Joel could torture Josh or even kill him himself. But Tommy knew what Joel would do so he decided to send Josh to the council. 

“Baby, he’s gone now. There’s nothing to be worried about.” You rubbed Joel’s back.

“But he’s still out there alive. I should’ve killed him. Goddamn it, Tommy.” He clenched his fist.

“Come here.” You gave him a tight hug until he calmed down.

The next few weeks were spent at your house crocheting. Joel and Ellie spent more time at home. They wanted to make sure you were doing okay since what happened at the bar. Joel and Ellie loved you so much that your safety was their priority.

You groaned as you felt pain on your back and lower abdomen. You sat on the bed and tried to massage your back. You felt wet under you so you flipped open the blanket. The bed was drenched. 

“Joel..Joel..” You panicked as you tried to wake Joel. 

“Joel! Wake up! My water broke!” You shouted.

“Huh? What? What’s wrong, baby?” Joel was still half asleep.

“The baby is co-” You groaned at the pain shooting at your back.

“Fuck! Okay, just breathe baby. Everything is gonna be fine.” He saw the bed was soaked and rubbed your back helping to ease the pain.

“I’ll be back.” Joel got off from the bed.

“Don’t fucking leave me.” You were panting.

“Okay, okay.” He went back to sit on the edge of the bed beside you.

“Ellie! Ellie! Come here!” He shouted to wake Ellie up. 

“Ellie! Goddamn it! Hurry the fuck up! Come here!” Joel was panicking as he tried to soothe you by rubbing your back. You were wincing in pain.

“What the fuck?” Ellie opened the door.

“Holy shit! Are you okay?” Ellie saw you grimaced.

“Get Maria and call the midwife here! Hurry!” Joel told Ellie and Ellie ran as fast as she could.

Joel guided your breath and helped you feel comfortable throughout your labors. Ellie came with Maria and the midwife and she stayed there to comfort you. Joel sat behind you and you rested your head on his chest. 

“I feel like pushing.” You told your midwife as you tried to breathe.

You started pushing and the pain hit you like hell. You groaned, screamed and cried in pain. 

“I can’t. I can’t. Please, it hurts. Joel, please, make it stop.” You cried as you squeezed Joel’s arms that were hugging you on your chest. 

Joel wanted to cry. He couldn’t see you suffering in pain. But he should stay strong. He should be your rock so he kept telling you encouraging words and supporting you. He wanted to be as much help as he could.

Your midwife guided you to push until you were crowning. You took short breaths and blew them out through your mouth. Joel did the same to guide your breaths. 

“It’s a girl. Congratulations!” Your midwife held your baby and put her on your chest.

“You did amazing, baby. I’m proud of you.” Joel tucked your wet hair to your ear and kissed your temple.

“She has your nose. She’s beautiful.” You looked at Joel as tears fell down to your cheeks.

Joel cut the cord and then your midwife and Maria helped you get cleaned up. Joel and Ellie couldn’t take their eyes off the baby as you were getting ready to breastfeed. Joel carried the baby and gently put her to your arms so you could breastfeed her.

“You look so beautiful.” He kissed your forehead.

The next few days, Joel let you rest. He didn’t let you do much work besides breastfeeding. He insisted on doing most of the baby work and he just wanted you to recover well. 

“I’ll get her.” You heard the baby cry when you were eating dinner.

“Let me do it.” Joel stood up from his chair.

“No, no. You’ve been doing it for the past few days. Let me.” You stopped him. He sat back.

“Shh.Shh..” You cradled your baby in the dining room. 

The baby kept crying even though she was already fed and her diaper was already changed. You kept cradling her that you forgot to eat your dinner. 

“You need to eat.” Joel shoved a spoonful to your mouth.

“Thank you.” You opened your mouth and munched.

“Baby..” Joel called you.

“Hmm?” You looked at him with tired eyes.

“I haven’t told you this but thank you for giving me a second chance to be a father and a husband. I have two beautiful daughters now. A perfect wife. I swear on my life to keep my girls safe.” His eyes were watery as he put his arms around you.

“I’m sure Sarah is proud of you up there.” You leaned in to give him a kiss.

“I love you so much it hurts.” He kissed you back.

“I love you, too.” 

And they lived happily ever after. (Let’s pretend the golf scene doesn’t exist)

The End

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @stevengmybeloved @happinessinthebeing @angelicbbsblog @aheadfullofsteverogers @mxtokko @bebe07011 @brockl33 @sarahhxx03

#joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller one shot #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller x you #the last of us imagine #the last of us x reader #the last of us x you #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller fluff #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfic #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal fanfic #fanfiction #fiction

[chrononautintraining]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag @lindirs-gaze!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

78

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

1,216,174

3. what fandoms do you write for?

My current hyperfixation is The Untamed/Modao Zushi, but I write for whatever. I've got a lot of one shots for properties I think are neat like Welcome to Nightvale or Parks and Rec.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Passion for Mushrooms, Mountain Flowers, The Seedling, Family's Just Another Word for Something Left To Lose, and In Town for the Wedding. Four in Hobbit/LotR fandom and one Naruto.

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I really try to. I appreciate feedback so much. When I'm in a funk it really brightens my mood, so I want to respond and build community with readers not just drop a story. And sometimes I go months without checking my inbox which makes me feel awkward about replying. It's a mix.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Interestingly, Family's Just Another Word For Something Left To Lose, according to some readers. It's ambiguous at the end and *a lot* of people think Kakashi dies, which is not at all my intent. I was paralleling the same scene with Iruka in the anime, and Iruka survives. It did not occur to me that the ambiguity would be what so many people took away.

The one I wrote that's intentionally angsty at the end is all i hear is your gear, which has no happy intentions and is all just about Crowley being a demon in hell.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

So much of my stuff is romance with a traditional HEA ending, but weirdly the ending I like most is A Spy in the Shire. It's a happy ending for this one oc dwarf, but in the broader context of the series I think it both emphasizes the Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies AU happiness as well as justifying the many sacrifices made in canon.

8. do you get hate on any fics?

yeah for sure. And I am sensitive about it. If it hits me when I'm already feeling low, I usually have to stay away from fandom spaces for a while and I often lose the motivation to write at all. It sucks. Some of it I can brush off more easily, like the Iruka/Kakashi shippers who come onto my fic to make fun of the way Mighty Guy looks and try to pick a fight. They are likely children and I just don't engage. But the people who criticize my writing or a specific story for reasons they are happy to detail can be harder to ignore.

This is of course a very different thing than the helpful folks who point out that I've once again mixed up desert and dessert. Y'all are lovely and I appreciate the help.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Yes, as the mood strikes. ...the kind I'm in the mood for? Almost always romantic stuff between a major pairing.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Listen. Ron Swanson and Wolverine would be very good friends, actually. My Parks and Rec / X-men crossover is not crazy.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! One of my Naruto fics is available in Chinese and two of my Modao Zushi stories can be read in Russian. As I speak neither language, I can only assume the translators did an awesome job of making my writing smarter, funnier, and sexier than it is in English.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I find the idea of collaborating interesting.

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

This is not how my brain works. I pretty much constantly have a Current Obsession and then pairings I still enjoy. Right now, Wangxian invented love, but I'll always enjoy revisiting a certain romance involving Mister Spock or the Leverage Pretzels and Beer OT3.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I desperately want to finish my Zombie Criminal Minds series, particularly because being able to revisit it will mark the end of my pandemic / outbreak related brain gremlins.

16. what are your writing strengths?

speling

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

I'd like to do more with humor. I feel like I frequently manage to provoke a sensible chuckle, but I've read fics that make me crack up. Someday, I'd like to write a really Terry Pratchett style laugh-a-minute story.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Sometimes you gotta do it, because it's in keeping with the canon, but it's always best to do sparingly. If it's longer than a greeting or an honorific, I like to translate directly within the narrative or use a footnote.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Slayers. Yes, I was that anime kid in high school.

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

My favorite child? Well, I've never really cared for Pit Stop...

I suppose, back against a wall, I enjoy the world building in None So Blind. We just don't spend enough time in dwarven spaces that aren't complete ruins in the canon. Coupled with thoughts on fantasy accessibility and the classic trope of tripping a romantic lead into a pile of literal pig shit, I just like it. Good work, 2018!me.

If you'd like to play, please pretend I tagged you! For the meme, I'll invite @youhideastar, @primtheamazing, and @sunshine304

[taraljc]

holy shit, I just figured out how I would break season 2 if I were in charge of Lockwood & Co.

SPOILERS FOR ALL OF THE EVERYTHING I REALLY MEAN IT for The Hollow Boy and The Creeping Shadow ahoy

(I continue to hate that you cannot add a read more link using the stupid app)

So two of the things that had been bugging me. the first thing was that Lucy voluntarily went home to visit her family which clearly telly!Lucy would not do. However, I found a fix for that. The second thing is how do you show the time cut between book three and book four if you are doing book three and book four in the same season? Got a fix for that, too!

So here is how I would do it.

You open season 2 episode 1 with Lucy in her own apartment with Skull getting the knock at the door and it's Lockwood saying 'I need to hire you'.

Then you have the chyron 'six months ago' and we jump back to the middle of Lavender Lodge and its aftermath of the three of them completely knackered and Portland Row is a mess and they are in dire need of more manpower--but then Lucy gets a call from Mrs White that Norrie is awake.

So she rushes back to her hometown where her friend is miraculously ghost-locked no more! except that no-one knows how or why. and it's not every ghost locked person in the country it's just Norrie.

Lucy makes Norrie promise when she is up for it to come down to London so she can meet Lockwood & Co. and because I'm evil you have a flashback in the middle of the flashback of what happened with Lockwood taking George and Lucy into Jessica's bedroom at the end of season 1, and Lucy telling Norrie all about what little they know about Jessica (which includes what she heard when she was Listening after finding the newspaper clipping).

She goes back a day early to discover Lockwood and George have hired Holly, who is the complete stranger who answers the door when Lucy is fitting her key into the lock to come home. Possibly wearing Lockwood's dressing gown just to fuck with everyone.

So that's the end of episode 1.

episode 2 opens with 'this is Holly isn't she fantastic isn't she wonderful everything is clean and tidy now everything is perfect she knows a lot of really important people and we have a real case with a crazy rich lady now who has a haunted staircase'.

Also the reason she is in Lockwood's dressing gown is perfectly innocent--in reality she had simply showered after doing the big clean and she is waiting for her clothes to be dry and ironed because Lockwood would absolutely be ironing her clothes for her because why not he's used to ironing all of his shirts in the kitchen why not this complete stranger's who he's known for 2 days, that's not weird at all.

Then you do the whole haunted staircase episode where Lucy is feeling completely shut out of what had been her family, ending with Lockwood unconscious and bleeding and it's all her fault.

Episode 3 opens with Lockwood with concussion, and avoiding Lucy because she almost died and the realisation that she almost died on his watch and he almost lost her scared the absolute shit out of him. Which is why he is now pushed her away because he is busy trying to put all of his feelings back in the feelings basement.

So then they get called to the Chelsea outbreak-- which they had been talking about in the previous episode--to finally see it first hand, except they find out DEPRAC hasn't been the one that summoned them. Penelope Fittes did after she heard Mrs Wintergarden's glowing recommendation and she is inviting them to be on the lead parade float with her and Rotwell.

Lockwood is incredibly pissed off but also determined to seize upon this bright and shiny opportunity to get good press for the agency. and then of course the parade happens and they actually earn the good press what with the stopping people from killing people thing. End episode 3.

Ep 4 opens where Ep 3 left off--The Golden Blade, Lockwood and Lucy seeing the cavalry arriving over the bridge, and stop swordfighting. While Lockwood and Lucy deal with being mobbed George continues down to where Flo is working, to ask her about what she seen and maybe possibly flirt a little possibly with either the promise of tasty tasty baked goods or even bringing a biscuit tin with him specifically baked for her. After talking with Flo, George realises the pattern is a wave and DEPRAC and all of the agencies are in fact looking for the center in completely the wrong place.

Meanwhile Lucy talks to Norrie who picks up on her jealousy about all the time Lockwood is spending with Holly and Lucy denies it up one side and down the other because she too is dealing with the feelings basement. Norrie also says that Jacob's got shut down but now there's no agency in town and the ghost activity has started getting more frequent. Lucy begs Norrie to stay safe--she only just got her back she doesn't want to lose her again.

George pinpoints the source of the wave and everybody heads off to the knockoff Harrod's built on top of the remains of King John's prison, where they think The Golden Blade has been fucking around trying to replicate the Bone Mirror (red herring--which they learn when Flo tells them the body of the assassin from the parade washed up and she recognised them as a Rotwells agent--except that never makes the front page of any newspaper).

Lucy realizes she is in love with Lockwood (and it's going to get him killed) therefore completely logically quits the Agency, and then we smash cut back to where we started in episode 1, where Lockwood needs to hire Lucy because of a big case: Lucy's home village is mega-haunted by a giant Creeping Shadow and it's Norrie who hires Lockwood & Co on the condition Lucy is consulting.

End ep 4.

Then Eps 5-8 are a lean, mean version of The Creeping Shadow, with no Ealing Cannibal but the added bonus of Lucy becoming the town hero instead of the person everyone blamed for the disaster at the mill. Also Lockwood and Lucy work out their shit vis-a-vis their respective feelings basements and stunted emotional maturity. They don't admit they're in love with each other of course because that would be sensible and lead to loads of kissing. No, that has to wait for the 3rd season.

Anyway it turns out Norrie waking up is actually linked to Lucy's Talent and Skull somehow--I haven't quite figured out yet how I would do it but I would totally do it because you would have so much more at stake if it were Lucy's hometown instead of a random village.

Also, I would have Kipps joining the team (possibly along with Kat and Bobby) after the Poltergeist in Harrod's. it seems to me Ned Shaw's death would be a turning point for that whole team.

Bobby and George being researched buddies and best friends is creepy and weird and no-one knows how to handle it and so they just don't talk about it. Also Norrie thinks Kipps is really fit, which confuses and horrifies everyone. and we find out that Holly's roommate is actually her girlfriend--Kat Godwin (which actually makes a lot of sense and explains a lot).

ETA: I forgot that Holly's girlfriend works for DEPRAC. God, if Holly were older, I'd absolutely love it to be Sgt Wade. But Wade reads as mid to late 20s to me. I'm wondering now how many former agents end up at DEPRAC after their Talent fades.

Then to lead into series 3, you end episode 8 with Penelope Fittes visiting Portland Row and Skully dropping the bombshell on them about Penelope's true identity.

Anyhow, that's how I would do it if I were in charge. This is my white board, these are my index cards. This is how I would set up the third season which would be all of book 5.

#all the headcanons ever #lockwood and co #lockwood spoilers #spoilers