#listen i'm actually very proud of this

[sciderman]

so spotify wrapped came in and candyman is my most listened to song of the year and it's solely because of the spideycablepool fic (i listened to it en loope while writing it)

#song of the day #the candy man can................ #tunes #i swear there were consecutive days where this was the Only Song I listened to. i listened to it at the office and. #my headphones are very loud. so my coworkers knew i was just listening to candyman. all day. #without stop. #i'm like this in december. wham's last christmas is the only song i'm legally allowed to listen to in december. #the only reason wham's last christmas is not my most listened song is because it is not december yet. #wham's last christmas is my most listened song on spotify in general. #i'm listening to candyman en loope again. it's so good. serotonin. #deserved. deserved. #god. i love the spideycablepool playlist. it's so sugary sweet. #you know what. i need to reread that fic and listen to the playlist. draw some more art. that fic was my high point of the year. #i mean other than the wonderful american roadtrip... and coney island... and dollywood.... and my frieiieeendnnsnsnsnss.... #this year was a really good year actually. like a really really good year. i feel low right now but this year was a really good year. #a lot of things changed for me. a lot of things. some good some bad. but a lot of change. #i feel like i'm a little bit closer to being a fully developed human. a little bit. #baby steps. baby steps. #i'm a lot more intelligent about my brain. i've figured out a lot this year. #proud of you sci. #kissing me on the forehead. #Youtube

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 27

"Long Time Gone" by The Chicks

#song of the day #I'm still thinking about the Country Songs About Country Songs #this is actually a cover too though I never hear the original around anywhere #(it's by Darrell Scott who is also the originator for 'You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive' #turns out he's got a bunch of songs that got picked up and made somewhat more popular in the hands of other folks. an interesting legacy) #the best lines of this song to sing are also the bits About Country Music--well the whole song's about chasing the love of it #but this bit is bemoaning the kids these days you know. country music isn't what it used to be. why back in my day etc etc #it's so so so much fun to sing too because you get to exaggerate your 'I think's until they rhyme with 'Hank'. excellent work #'we listen to the radio to hear what's cookin / but the music ain't got no soul #now they sound tired but they don't sound Haggard / they got money but they don't have Cash #they got Junior but they don't have Hank / I think I think I think / the rest is a long time gone' #it's fascinating to me to think about these songs in (saying 'historical' here is giving me psychic damage but) historical context #because the Darrell Scott original for Long Time Gone came out in 2000 and The Chicks released their version in 2002 #so they were talking about the trend towards American jingoism in country music of the time #versus like Waylon Jennings in 1975 'Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way' #(I typed that and /then/ went back and looked up the release date and I'm so proud I got it right) #already bemoaning the state of country music in the 70s versus good old classic country like Hank Williams Senior sang #(Hank Jr covered Waylon's song in 1981. like yes it's a tribute to his father but also Hank Jr was a big push towards outlaw country #and has a few pretty famous songs himself about not singing like his daddy did. it just seems a strange choice to me) #and then Eric Church put out 'Lotta Boot Left to Fill' in 2009 calling out the shallowness of the country music scene of the time #(talking some only-thinly-veiled shit about a few of his peers in the process) #and then he released 'Stick That In Your Country Song' in 2021 and that /definitely/ put some backs up #that one's a less directed but more direct call-out if that makes any sense #no lines that are direct references to other artists' songs but stronger sentiments overall #not just general 'y'all are getting shallow prioritizing good times and high sales over genuine heart and integrity of craft' #but some straight up 'you have forgotten the face of your father' shit towards country artists and fans alike. the whole industry #a very good righteous-anger song

[coffee-dere]

「あたし ヴァンパイア ♡ まずはこっちおいで 」

"I'm a Vampire ♡ Come over here first"

Okay yeah maybe it's 2:30 am but I'm bored so um yeah hi I did more scribbling

#Coffee's scribbles #Actually ashamed I didn't listen to this one sooner ITS SO GOOD #my art #Hatsune Miku #Hatsune Miku Vocaloid #The Vampire #Hatsune Miku The Vampire #DECO*27 #初音ミク #I'm very sleepy but I'm trying please be proud of me T-T #I lied the exact time is 2:38 am

[mythvoiced]

OPEN STARTER | Patrick Finch

"I condone lying. I encourage it, even. I recommend it. I could hardly live without it."

#;open starter #the wolf;patrick #the wolf;open #he's always the most difficult one GOSH #also you must envision he's saying this with this weird open deadpan stare where he #well how do i put it: he's clearly fucking with you but he does it with such an open genuine expression #i mean he does condone lying he's not lying here (LKDSG!!!) but he is also fucking around #so this is Patrick he's 37 or anywhere around that age he's agender primarily he/him pronouns bc whatever yknow #the agender vibes of WHATEVER i know what i'm talking about trust me i have a phd in agenderism #anyways he's an informant but about as unorthodox as you can imagine he's just fucking around and finding out frankly #very depressed very jumpy very good at hiding it lmao he's my darling ♥ #he is very motherly somehow i can't explain it #he has somewhat of a history in accidentally attempting to adopt powerful young women i don't know why he??? #knee-jerks into wanting to be a mother figure i don't know him that well you guys #like he met suki (ferre's kamipyre) for a few minutes one time and #days after he was wondering if she'd wore a jacket because it was cold out like-- #men don't get the same kindness if you're a charming kind-hearted competent warm and humorous DAD kind of guy he's unfortunately #emotionally attracted to you? unfortunately because he hates it~ but if you're any other kind of guy you're just... you're some guy to him #yes if you're young he'll adopt you too but begrudgingly-- KLDGFGKLFDHGJF #if you're a they/them you're his kid already are you kidding that's your mum #OH I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE THOUGHT so do you know om*g*verse?? regardless of how you feel about it #it do be a thing and i just had this horrible thought about how if pat were a real guy in an established canon #he'd probs get the feminisation treatment amiright?? NO LISTEN HE USED TO BE A HUGE WOLF #AND HE'S ACTUALLY FILLED WITH SO MUCH RAGE AND WRONGED PRIDE #patrick is gentle when he likes you and because he's Smart he doesn't just BITE out of nowhere he's always been like that #Fenris was known for being INCREDIBLY well-spoken BUT ALSO A HUGE PROUD WOLF #LIKE BIG WOLF-- it doesn't show but he's Very Proud and STRONG and ?????? #;queue #i picked a gif came back and realized i lost it there for a sec NO MATTER makes for good entertainment

[outeremissary]

10 Songs on Repeat

Tagged by @turbulentpumpkin43 - apologies for the delay, it’s been a weird week. And also not the most dignified one to be asked this, but I answer honestly all the same...

Itadaki Babel (Aiobahn remix) - Kenmochi Hidefumi

Internet Yamero - Aiobahn feat. Kotoko

Emerald Eyes - The Orion Experience

Hot Mess - Cobra Starship

Pedestrian at Best - Courtney Barnett

Dirty Car - Studio Killers

Wind-Up God / Kamisama Nejimaki - kemu

Win it All - The Orion Experience

Animal - DECO*27

Nothing Left to Lose - I’m going to be real I’m not 100% sure how to correctly credit this one. It’s from the Tangled animated series. It’s from that. That’s what it’s from, okay? I’ve been listening to that.

I’m not sure who all has been tagged and who hasn’t- @bearvanhelsing and @dmagedgoods if you’re interested?

#I feel like somehow you manage to catch me every time I've been listening to Internet Yamero an amount I am not proud of #at this point I'm ready to defend it Internet Yamero is a good song #sometimes the cassandra songs from the tangled series give me visions #so congrats to tangled the animated series for making me think about wrath again in a deranged way I haven't since 2021 #I did actually watch the series at some point during the early stages of the pandemic but I never finished #I heard cassandra villain arc actually wasn't well written which is tragic because I am in full support of the concept very sexy #the songs for it fuck #anyway there's something in my heart when I hear nothing left to lose. something deep in my heart. #carmen song for sure but I have a vision for the duet #tag game #to anyone who I asked about maximum possible companion deaths in wrath in the past week or two this is why I've had her on the brain

[sukunasrealm]

I was tagged by @loulovehome 🥰 and @justalarryblog 🥰 to do my Spotify wrapped! (I don't use Spotify though but here you go!)

(I have no idea where Shawn came from on that list....or my top 5th song but oh well 🤷🏽‍♀️!)

I will tag @halohamilton @maleksrami @dragmedown @justapayneaway @jaanwangji @softfonds @anxiouslarrie @reneedibbley @sueyrestaurant @coffeehotcoffee

(Feel free to ignore if you've already done it or don't want to no worries! Also feel free to do it and tag me if you wanna post yours but no one has tagged you!)

#tagging game #jd post #Spotify wrapped #I'm very proud to be in james bay's 0.2 % of listeners! #also that live performance will never be over it #also 48 times definitely not a lot honestly #im actually shocked bad bunny wasn't on here but i listen to one shawn song and here we are .....

[givemeuniversalcrossovers]

Ngl since the collectors true form reveal I can't think of anything else but teaching him earth games to play like Snap and happy families and Uno and Monopoly, Picturica, and human playground games like bulldog or taking him 'on a bear hunt' or climbing trees and just urg I wanna little brother the shit outta him like hello yes baby o'clock ur my little brother now I wanna show u games and tell you its okay if you don't wanna play a game anymore cause you're not having fun and ur getting frustrated and that's okay we all sometimes don't like games and get mad especially it we're losing its really infuriating sometimes but that's okay let me know and we can stop whenever so you don't need to feel overwhelmed and ill tell you a secret my family never finished a game of monopoly yup never, so I've never won a game of monopoly either and that's okay and I'll pick you up to carry you away to sit and be calm and we could have an apple juice together and a little snackie sandwich and when ur tired and sleepy (if the collector even gets sleepy(lmao I know I will eventually)) ill pick you up and take you to bed and ready you a silly little earth bed time story and tuck you in and go to sleep myself.

Like that's a whole ass baby and like wow big sibling instinct kicking in HARD

#TOH spoilers #The collector #TOH collector #I just wanna play games with him #I know in reality it would be very exhausting and very hard to actually play games with him and probably dangerous #But God dammit he's just a lil kid and I think if you taught him the rules and told him to be gentle and that no cheating he'd understand? #Like if you treat him gently and like a friend but also firm while being respectful and kind to him I think he'd listen #He'd probably appreciate a friend who like genuinely has patience for him and treats him well #I wanna teach him how to play snap and watch him be both confused and intrigued and to have matching cards down and watch him realise oh! #And then let him snap and take those cards yes I knew they matched but he's still learning and him accuse me of letting him get that #And id say yea I did know they matched but I know you're still getting the hang of this game #But when you get the hang of it I won't go easy on you #And like see him smile cause like I want him to learn the game and have fun not just use my knowledge of the game to win win win #I also wanna just carry him around when he gets sleepy like the lil baby he is just passed out l #Hello Dana please next season just lmao have another star child/person from collectors dimension show up even more powerful and deranged #But they're just like there you are little brother we've been looking for you and pick him up as he complains he's still playing noooo #And they just carry him away like a toddler taken away from the play park by their older sibling or mother and its like *panic* #Cause holy shit we would've been fucked had mum not stepped in what the fuck #Maybe she reverses all the damage too like tsk tsk Collector you really made a mess oh my little man he's so imaginative so proud of you #Wow I'm getting attached to figurative space mommy #He leaves and King is left waving bye cause maybe they were friends #And everything is back to normal finally? And safe

[evilkitten3]

What would you think, if, after getting advice from Iroh, Zuko and the gang travel to the spirit world in order to find Aang’s people so that Aang can teach the air acolytes more about the air nomads? But Zuko gets attacked by a poisonous spirit and reverts back to pre Season 2 Zuko after losing some of his memories due to the poison fogging his mind. Zuko is confused and doesn’t know why he’s firelord. The gang try to explain things to him, but it only causes him to become even more confused. Aang and the gang then leave Zuko behind to spend more time with the air acolytes. While they’re gone, Zuko is very uncertain about what to do, but soon corrupt advisors convince him to restart the war. Zuko doesn’t remember his friendship with Aang, but he hears that he once joined Aang, so Zuko assumes that Aang once brainwashed him into joining team Avatar and turning against his Father. Zuko intends to be a much greater firelord than his father, and he and his army raid the air acolyte settlement in their airships in order to hunt down Aang once again, and end up burning down the settlement. Aang and the gang wonder why Zuko chose to hunt them down again. Aang eventually comes to the conclusion that Zuko backslid due to bad advice from his advisors and because he lost some of his memories. Aang then travels the nations looking for a cure to help restore Zuko’s memories.  

Azula escapes from the mental institute and Zuko sends bounty hunters after her to capture her. Soon, Azula gets bitten by a snake, so she finds help in the village of Jang Hui where she is healed by two waterbenders, who are taking refuge there. Jang Hui is the village Katara helped in The Painted Lady. And the villagers aren’t on good terms with the firelord. The villagers accept her and assume that she’s on their side because she’s made an enemy of the Firelord. The villagers teach Azula how to heal people using firebending techniques inspired by water bending, and she ends up becoming a fisherwoman because it’s a fishing town. She starts to warm up to the town, but one day she overhears the waterbenders talking about sneaking out to sabotage the smelting factory(which is currently undergoing reconstruction) in order to help the villagers. Azula offers to join their mission, and the three sneak out to destroy the factory, but she betrays the waterbenders over to the fire nation in hopes that she might bring glory to the fire nation. But now that the waterbenders are captured and eliminated, the town is defenseless. Zuko’s army burns the town down leaving few survivors. Zuko didn’t exactly authorize the attack, but he did give his generals permission to do whatever it takes to stop the villagers from trying to halt the rebuilding of the factory used for the war effort. A few survive and declare revenge on Azula for what she did.  

Azula starts to feel terrible about betraying the people who saved her life and indirectly causing the village to be destroyed, since she didn’t know it would be destroyed. And she holds Zuko partially responsible for destroying the village. After wandering around, Azula looks through a telescope and sees Aang try to save a fire nation village from a volcano, and she also sees Zuko. Zuko does nothing after his corrupt advisors tell him to leave the village, saying that Aang will probably die, so Zuko runs away. But Aang manages to save the village from the erupting volcano. Azula gets accepted into the gang when she uses her new healing abilities to heal Aang, who is wounded by the volcano. They reluctantly team up to stop Zuko.

After wandering around the Earth Kingdom to look for a cure for Zuko's memory loss, the gang sees a massive stream of fire pour down from a few fire nation airships hovering above a village. The stream of fire burns the village to the ground, leaving few survivors. It turns out that fire nation scientists developed a highly addictive serum that can increase the fire power of any fire Bender. The downside is that prolonged use of the serum results in loss of the senses, and eventually death. Senses such as taste, smell, sight, touch, and hearing. Zuko intends take the serum and lead a fleet of airships to finish what his Dad started by burning the Earth Kingdom to the ground. After learning what Zuko intends to do, even Aang feels tempted to give up on him.

it's an interesting concept, but i have a few critiques.

first, if the gaang knows zuko lost his memory, why would they leave him in the first place? and even if they did that, surely there'd be somebody in the palace who could say "hey firelord zuko maybe don't restart the war dude wtf" or at least alert the gaang or something.

second, i've seen a lot of people try to have azula's redemption involve learning some kind of healing, and i gotta say, it very very rarely does anything for me. for starters, it (probably unintentionally) reinforces the northern water tribe's ideology that healing is inherently for women (the show admittedly also did this bc the only named male waterbender who uses any kind of healing in any canon that i'm aware of is unalaq). moreover, it's not something i think azula would be particularly good at or have much interest in.

also, why are there waterbenders in jang hui? it's a fire nation village. you said they were taking refuge, but from what, and why there? on top of that, azula knows zuko is firelord and doesn't know he's lost his memories, so why would she assume betraying the waterbenders to the fire nation would bring it glory? if she just broke out of the asylum, then the last time she saw zuko was when he and katara fought her during the agni kai.

third, if zuko lost his memory to a "poisonous" (???) spirit in the spirit world, why are they searching the earth kingdom for a cure? shouldn't they be looking in the spirit world? aang's the avatar, and iroh's gotten in before, so it shouldn't be the hardest thing in the world.

fourth, if zuko lost all his memories of books 2 and 3, he shouldn't know about ozai's plan to burn everything to the ground, since that wasn't established until after he returned to the fire nation with azula, mai, and ty lee.

finally, even before book 1 began, zuko was deeply loyal to his people, balking at the mere idea of sacrificing newbie soldiers for the sake of a win, so i can't fathom a world where zuko is ok with burning down jang hui (a fire nation village) just cuz.

i'm not trying to say there's no potential here, you have some very interesting ideas, but there's a lot that doesn't really work for me.

(to be fair tho i'm not a huge fan of anything involving much of the air acolytes bc i frankly could not give less of a fuck about them. i don't hate them or anything they just don't mean anything to me)

#atla #it's an interesting concept #but honestly as described here it's more confusing than anything else #also the whole premise relies on the idea that zuko blindly listens to what people tell him to do #which is something he's never once managed ever in his life #also the whole ''let's burn everything to the ground'' was something zuko wasn't remotely ok with #bc unlike azula he hasn't been raised to believe that the right thing to say is whatever makes dad proud of you #he HAS been raised to believe that paternal love has to be earned through blood sweat and tears #but if he knew ozai was in prison then obviously the best way to get his favor would be to let him out and reinstate him as firelord #which would be. very confusing to ozai #imagine just sitting in prison and then your son storms in and tells you he's freed himself of brainwashing and you can be in charge again #then imagine having to explain that the avatar can take away bending now but you'd be happy to help him rule from the shadows #since clearly your daughter wasn't of any use #...actually i think you have the start of a really good toxic father-son bonding experience that absolutely nobody wanted #having said that my biggest piece of advice is to cut the serum idea entirely #it makes no sense in the established atla world #they haven't even got antibiotics over there yet #it'll be awhile before they're inventing super soldier serums to create captain fire nation or whatever #also i'm curious what advice iroh gave that prompted all of this #aang doesn't need to go into the spirit world he has all the previous air avatars on psychic speed dial #oh and why would jang hui hate zuko? #katara definitely would've pushed him to send them help #also they apparently became famous for their seafood after the war #so zuko would probably be pretty well liked by them #again it isn't a bad idea it just needs a lot of workshopping #bc right now it raises way more questions than it seems intent on answering

[andthebeanstalk]

pssst.... there are a lot of queer christians! their experiences and faith are valid. it sucks you weren't able to jive with the church, but don't act like its impossible because of your sexuality when many other lgbt folx have managed just fine

My friend, you do you, but being a faggot dyke tranny helped keep me out of an abusive organization, and for me and all of my formerly religious friends, that is that.

#t slur #f slur #d slur #truly I am working through a rainbow alphabet of queer slurs at this time! #original #listen if you're able to believe that your God loves you then you should do that. #I tried to for many years myself. but it never came back no matter how much I wanted it #and I think the fact that queer people are generally safer in non-religious environments in America is extremely telling #alright i think I've officially hit my limit with this so I'm probably gonna stop responding to anons #I was such a good little Christian Child. but I was so so sad and so scared and so ashamed. and I didn't even know I was gay yet! #I get that there are queer christians but like. there are waaay more former Christian queers for a reason. #seems only a very small percentage of us born into the church grow up to be in the church #I like how Stephen Fry talks about it. a lot of atheist speakers are fucking assholes about it like Bill Maher but Stephen Fry really #approaches the issue from what appears to be a genuine love for other humans and a desire to see them treated well #maybe it's not impossible for YOUR sexuality but for me I'm too nose deep in pussy praise the Lord it's a medical condition XD #in my defense humor also helped me leave the church. things have less power when they can be funny. and i needed it to have less power. #because it was an abusive situation #gods I'm so proud of the phrase 'nose-deep in pussy'. can't believe I thought of that in a goddamn catechism post 😅 #actually no wait I can totally believe that

[nikatyler]

I really hate how in my country, politicians are like "we belong to the West ☺️" and then we're like "fine what about this thing that is completely normal in the western Europe" and then they're like "noooo not like that, look at Poland and Hungary tho, they have some good laws about it"

#this could apply to a lot of things but specifically i'm talking about lgbt stuff and gay marriage #one political party brought it up again and wants to legalize it #so now there's a wide range of reactions going from 'marriage is only between a man and a woman' to #'they're genetically twisted' (yes that's a title i actually read today) #also i love how this country is mostly atheist but the moment it's convenient people start bringing up god #or maybe the religious people just get really loud idk #but then you listen to them for a bit and you're like oh. well i'm not sure if you're making your god very proud tbh #(not saying religion bad but you know. you can imagine the groups that are.) #anyway i will probably delete this later #i just needed to rant #it's like they waited for pride month to drop the biggest homophobic bombs #nika rambles #don't reblog please

[ghostprinceiii]

"You're going to need a compelling reason to gain entry to Inazuma..."

My compelling reason is I need wood from there to make a purple bed for my teapot house.

#ghostprince posts #Genshin Impact #videogames #Very behind on story stuff obviously but after several days of avoiding it I finally finished the Dainslief quest (by using Amber to solo a #Ruin Hunter. Took forever but I'm proud of her) saw the Lumine reveal and now we're finally on our way to the next region! #Gonna be 2024 by the time I get to Sumeru since I still want to 100% Mondstat and Liyue + I don't wanna do the regions out of order/go to #Sumeru without it being time for it in the story. I've already technically done some stuff out of order since I did the Chasm before #Dainslief's quest and event cutscenes + character stories have been on a timeline thats innacurate to me + assumed knowledge of events/ #characters/regions/etc that I don't (/canonically) have. #We're sort of getting on track though! #Glad I stopped playing this game when I did since it was causing problems for me. But also wish I'd started again sooner cuz I've missed so #much. But also glad I started again now since it gave me another chance to pick up where I left off in getting my favourite character and #being able to play as him has made this a lot of fun for me outside of the story elements. So... one step at a time in trying to just #enjoy myself at my own pace and hopefully ward off the stress of missing out on various limited-time events/rewards/characters. #+ I'm maybe in a bit of a better position to self-regulate what the problem was in the first place now? Let's assume I'm 'more mature'? #I have a lot of issues but I'm... maybe not working on them but I guess trying to not be overcome by some specific ones? And also trying to #stop spamming the discord server with updates about my every move in this game or go off about it to anyone who's willing to pretend they'r #listening ahaha. Trying to be less annoying basically. Might start talking outloud to the cat again. But! For now: New region that I #actually haven't seen any of the gameplay or visuals of (I don't think) so this should be interesting! #And purple :) #This has been my videogame update on Tumblr.com

[marypsue]

I had been thinking about rereading the road goes ever on to make a list of all the movie references I put in (which is coming shortly). The conversation I had on here (with possibly two different anons?) about how I wished I’d had more time to develop the final chapter and whether I’d go back and make edits to that chapter now that it’s published lit a fire under me to actually do that reread. I finished it tonight, and discovered that, now that I’ve got enough distance from the fic to read it more from the perspective of a reader than from the perspective of a writer working on editing a WIP, there’s really only one thing about the final chapter that I’d actually want to change: 

I never put a scene in the epilogue that shows that Kali’s still occasionally posing as Conners and working (possibly with Owens’ help) to sabotage any further attempts by the government to keep the whole ‘kidnapping psychics’ thing going or to open a new Gate. 

#listen i TOLD you guys i cannot shut up about this fic #and yeah I was being too self-critical. I was too close to the fic and dwelling too much. #the final chapter is solid and it does what I wanted it to do. the ending is satisfying. the one thing I thought was a minor continuity erro #is actually dealt with in an earlier scene! I fixed it and then forget I'd fixed it! #the fic is good! the mystery is well-constructed! it did a number of things I'm very proud of! #and I need to remember those things instead of just dwelling on how it felt when I was trapped in editing hell #because nobody else was there in editing hell with me! and now it's Out of editing hell! and it actually came out looking pretty damn good! #the fic is good and I feel good about it. and I will try to keep that in mind the next time I feel like undercutting my own work #anyway thank u anon(s?) from whenever that was and also I'm sorry for being a wet hen #(I also never put a scene in the epilogue that showed Kali going back to her crew with her new understanding about relying on people #and that they weren't trying to mutiny against her they were trying to PROTECT her because that's what families do) #(if I were to go back to it i'd add those two scenes and not make a single other change) #(actually on reflection those might be just two elements of one scene.)

[astrxealis]

hmmmmhhmmhmh bad feelings r kinda coming in again ... kinda >_<

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #i'll try to shoo them away rjfhriebwobdkfjsosnausodskadjsh !!! #simply put yk when you're really Yeah abt smth like. yo /pos !! but then it turns out /neg #very vague ik but i don't want to euwgdihsod yeah so ^^ hm ... i think having experienced this all the time is why i don't really have much #expectations lol (then still get disappointed <//3 this is mostly in terms of others aaaa this is why i don't like people that much ... but #thne also ??? idk it's really assuring that obviously i'm not alone even if that. sucks :')) i don't want others to feel the same way i do #so i always try to listen ... even if they don't do that for me !! and even if i sometimes do what they do back but. i'm just too kind ;;;) #i'll get over it in time :'0 #rlly glad and proud of how far i've gone but i think bcs there's no one i actually open up to much i still have problems :')

[tempesthreads]

I'm so tired and need to work but I just want to say how...relieving the process has been for me this few weeks or so of letting go of toxic people, making new friends, and reaching out and reconnecting with old friends. After being in a particularly shitty 'friendship' (it honestly felt more parasitical than anything sometimes), it was so weird to meet people who respect my boundaries and listened to what I had to say, rather than just use me to satisfy their own wants or needs. I'm still working on making sure I set and keep those boundaries up, but yeah. I'm glad I'm making progress.

#tempest talks #Mutuals i love you so much. #You know who you are. I love you so so so much. Thank you for bearing with me. #very long vent in tags: #I gave this toxic person a second chance because technically I had a friendship breakup with them once before. #But ultimately realized how unhappy I was talking to them #And how fundamentally different our ideologies were. #It's not to say people with different opinions can't be friends with each other. #But this person checked off so many of my personal 'red flags' and I just ignored them #because I felt bad about breaking up a relationship they seemed happy in #but spoiler alert: I was not happy in that relationship at all and it almost definitely wasn't healthy. #Ending that relationship was probably the best thing I could've done for myself. #And I'm so so so proud of myself for actually standing up for myself for once and getting myself out of a situation that made me unhappy. #Like this person is blocked from my blogs but if they're somehow reading this: #No I don't have regrets about ending our relationship. You have a lot of stuff you need to work through #and you really need to ask yourself how you view 'friends' and how you treat them. #Because from the perspective of one of your ex-friends: you are self-centered and do not give a flying fuck about your 'friends" #Correction: You do give a few fucks. But you're still self-centered and fail to listen to them when they set boundaries. #And you expect them to comfort you in a crisis when you offer the bare minimum back when they need help. #You also display a very concerning amount of ignorance when it comes to current events and history that is very important to acknowledge. #And yet for some reason you think you know better about the politics and injustices in my country than *me* a person living there? #All because you asked your parent? Who is also not from my country or living here??? #You have a lot of privilege due to the way you were born. And you don't acknowledge it. #Anyway please stay off my blog thanks. #Yes this is loaded with salt #but I wish you the best with whatever you're up to now. #and I hope you learn and grow to be a better friend and human being in general.

[theseancekid]

I LOVE MY FUCKING JOB I HUNG OUT WITH DAVEED DIGGS AND EMMY RAVER-LAMPMAN TONIGHT I AM STILL PINCHING MYSELF

#she was so SWEET we actually talked about THEATRE and i just. asdgfhgjhskbcfnkl #i'm very proud of myself i didn't bring up tua at all LMAO i didn't want to be a fangirl but listen i'm very starstruck after the fact

[fuglyjeans]

I'm gonna be 30 this year. ....

Where'd all the time go.......

#ive gained so much and lost so much. ... #actually last night i was listening to beyonce feeling very proud of myself for survivin! #all things considered i got dealt a weird hand. but i have a partner i love and 4!!! friends who feel like soulmates even if we dont talk. #i have 3 cats ive been to europe and i'm not a republican so. a real win if you consider where i started from #the hard thing is knowing i may never have the opportunities i want to have. and having to accept a smaller life #but im literally so very happy to just watch tv listen to music dance and drink and think about concepts and narratives #even if i never get the chance to put them to paper or formulate them into the things i want to make. #idk i was thinking this morning i don't feel embarrassed of my degree anymore. i do but at least for a few mins. i didnt #cool!