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tussegah · 20 years

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Phil elvrum - by abigail comaholly

There is this certain threshold right. Where if you pay enough attention to life, during life,

There appears to be no end.

Like if you stand there and actually engage with the beauty of an ambegious (i suppose in phil elvrum case its often natural, but it can also be rustic, like the paint on a house) thing, like for example the water running down the face of the tree bark, you feel only a sense of presence but no sense of finite narrative, and thus no sense of narrative resolution, you can see where its going, but there appears to be no end. The only end would be a fabricated, arbitrary or logistic conclusion, like having to go home because your mum called you to, but theres always the sense that you could go back and continue an endless story.

If you focus on objectifications (Like for example, objects as having purposes, like the story of the fence ending in the outcome that it stops the things from inside it from getting out) it seems like life is finite and things end. Because the very way we create idea of death is by attributing things purposes and then saying there identity 'dies' when they become redundant in relation to said purposes. People conceptualize death by turning a person from a subject to an object, as both through claiming the person looses their subjectivity (since they are unable to have it derived from them anymore, as they appear to only follow the laws of physics from then on), and also by categorising them based on the 'redundancy' of their body (its inability to move, meaning that they cannot be part of the narrative of being alive). However one never categorises a dead person as 'more subjective than them', even though the person who has just died has expereinced an expereince of subjective intensity beyond what one could imagine, the impossibility it must have felt like to actually pass into death from the first perspective of being alive (not just the questions they would’ve been asking as they slowly crossfaded into death, but the actual movement into somewhere that isnt alive, or the dispersion of the feeling of being alive).

But when you long for something, when you say 'i dont know what this is', yet you still look at it, you are waiting for it, it is something that you expect will rather explain itself to you, rather than you explain it on behalf of itself.

I do think people's lives end on this earth, like their body, their ghost falls out and they cant fit back in.

But if, during this life, you have a kind of patience where you expect something to happen.

Like you dont assert what is going on, but you just wait for it

You expect something to be worth it and to come, then

There is no end.

It just feels like waiting forever in each moment. Each moment feels infinitely long

As we wait. And sometimes it comes, a friend, a wonderful friend, a wonderful and singular raindrop hits you straight in the eye as you look at clouds. But surely these events dont take place on earth, they are too succinct and connected to me and brilliant, they responded too directly to my desire for them. After i experience those moments i think of it in a way where it felt like i was asleep for a bit and then when the moment was over woke up again and then life went back to feeling like it takes forever again. Because i guess when nothing is conclusive than nothing can help conclude that feeling.

Afterward: Sorry i just wrote this thing on my mums computer while listening to to The Microphones on my mums and i thought it was really good and Annabel and Sebastian said i was allowed to use this account whenever i wanted to say something so long as i told everyone that it was me who did so um yeah.

Abigail Comaholly, 14 years old, Snowflake Symbol, Dissappearing Like the Dirt on the Roads or a Gopher up a Drain Pipe when the big Rains hit Street. (It's the one with the white painted wooden planks where the paint is mostly falling off and/or has lichen on it and all the trees without leaves around the front bedroom (which is my bedroom)) <3

Hiii, also, 8th of January 2004 2:47pm

#phil elvrum

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pesterloglog · 5 months

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Rufioh Nitram, Meenah Peixes

Act 6, page 5398

RUFIOH: d*mn... thank god 1 got my lusus back... dunno what 1'd do w1thout the l1ttle guy!

MEENAH: is he even uh

MEENAH: "reel"

MEENAH: ya know

MEENAH: like the ghost of your actual lusus or

RUFIOH: er... know what? not sure, doll!

RUFIOH: he could just be a memory f1gment or someth1ng l1ke that. or maybe he's really h1s ghost...

RUFIOH: when damara acc1dentally dropped a hunger trunk on h1m way back... crushed h1s l1ttle body... 1 always dreamed 1 m1ght meet up w1th h1m aga1n 1n the afterl1fe.

RUFIOH: so when 1 found h1m here... guess 1 d1dn't th1nk about 1t much? 1 was just happy to see h1m.

RUFIOH: he 1s my happy thought after all. 1 can't really br1ng myself to do much w1thout h1m... l1ke fly... f1ght... crow...

#you know... the bas1cs?

MEENAH: truth

RUFIOH: 1 remember when 1 was young... just a l1ttle runt out there try1ng to make 1t 1n the world... people would look at me funny cause my w1ngs were grow1ng 1n, and that really freaked people out yo!

RUFIOH: so 1 got way self consc1ous and d1dn't feel at home out there... w1th everybody eye1ng me up l1ke that...

RUFIOH: so one n1ght my lusus led me 1nto the woods...

RUFIOH: and 1 found th1s whole baller v1llage of f***ck1n tree houses and rope ladders and 1 was l1ke D*MN!

#shouted bangarang SO LOUD you don't even KNOW!

RUFIOH: that's when 1 became an off1c1al member of the lost weeaboos.

MEENAH: hey ok so...

MEENAH: can we not actually talk about the lost weeaboos

MEENAH: can that just be not a conversation we have

RUFIOH: uh...

MEENAH: ruf listen your storys cool but theres some junk thats just so silly i cant even try to abide

RUFIOH: yeah 1 guess... heh.

RUFIOH: but anyway, they were my boys... a better posse you couldn't hope to ch1ll w1th, k1ck the sh*t on troll an1me... all that.

MEENAH: aw fer glub sake

#no

RUFIOH: f1rst bumped 1nto damara out there... crazy t1mes!

RUFIOH: 1 th1nk those were format1ve sweeps for me... learned to love a lotta th1ngs 1 st1ll do to th1s day.

RUFIOH: between you and me... 1 m1ss the days 1 could just jam w1th her about troll an1me... but now... you know how 1t 1s...

MEENAH: ok why do you stinkin nerds insist on calling it troll anime

MEENAH: i gotta ask

MEENAH: dont you realize prefacing anything with 'troll' inside the context a troll culture is redundant as fuck

MEENAH: why dont you just call them cartoons

RUFIOH: yeah... 1 d1g that. never thought about that... huh.

#deep...

RUFIOH: 1t's ok, 1 get that the stuff 1 l1ke 1sn't for everyone.

RUFIOH: people say 1t's just for w1gglers... and 1 k1nd of assumed one day 1'd grow out of 1t, but guess 1 never d1d?

RUFIOH: then aga1n... we all d1ed... and now we really are all young forever...

RUFIOH: just l1ke the prophecy of the lost weeaboos sa1d...

RUFIOH: whoa spooky... 1 always thought that was a load of bs!!!

MEENAH: whoops you just said lost weeaboos again thus failing the conversation

MEENAH: in the immortal hand gestured words of the late great meulin leijon:

MEENAH: IM SO DON-E

#homestuck #rufioh nitram #meenah peixes #homestuck act 6 #page 5398 #homestuck act 6 intermission 3 #openbound

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laurent-ofvere · 5 years

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So what are your opinions about Game of Thrones S8 now that we are more than halfway through the last season?

Is season 8 of Game of Thrones living up to your expectations? What did you think of episodes 3 and 4? And what about Gendry and Arya?(im just gonna put these together so my answers aren’t redundant, i hope thats cool) (also this is so long why cant i just answer a question and move on)

i uhhh dont know. am i enjoying myself as i watch the episodes? definitely, but i feel likes its more so that im enjoying them for what they are if that makes any sense. i didn’t quite have specific expectations, but what i can say is that i didn’t expect this season and the interactions to feel so fan fiction-ey which sometimes can be great but sometimes not so much, and this felt like the latter at times. now look, if you put together all the different chunks and episodes and out of order sittings then ive probably watched the show 2-3 times, but im not some massive got/asoiaf veteran and im not gonna sit here and claim to have this major insight on characterization or anything, but sometimes…. hm. i might enjoy some stuff while watching it play out (conversations/pairings etc) but it doesn’t feel… authentic? back when i watched certain characters in earlier seasons and thought “i wonder where their storyline will go/end” it feels like i’m not actually getting their grand ending or the culmination that i always theorized about bc this season can feel like, idk, a fan pleaser? so sometimes its hard for me to feel like “ahhh THIS is where that was heading!” bc a part of me just feels jarred/like im not actually, wholeheartedly buying it. which i mean, fuck what im buying bc its happening regardless. but still.

but thats not to say that its all negative! i honestly am having a really good time with it, and ive re watched every episode at least one and im not one of those people thats like “aghhhh fuck this show already i only care about __ and ___and other than that im over it” i am very much not over it and am still firmly by the balls.

episodes 1-2 (you didnt ask but ill say just to be collective) i was initially kinda pissy with the first 2 bc even if they had enjoyable scenes in itself, they felt like the kind of scenes that would randomly be scattered throughout an actual potty, storyline moving episode, and i feel like i just got 2 weeks of filler scenes compiled into an episode. but the way i’ve rationalized it to myself is unlike earlier seasons where these kind of scenes are used as additives, the story is essentially over here. we’re coming to the end and there isnt much room anymore for convoluted plot. my younger brother told me i complained about season 7 feeling too rushed and now it took its time more and that also chilled me out, so looking back im feeling better about them.

episode 3: I REALLY LIKED IT OKAY. idk what it is about battle of the bastards but for some reason nothing manages to top it bc that shit really had me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but the battle of winterfell was NICE. i wont lie im a masochist and hoped for more deaths, but i also have this ongoing theory that the show isnt going to end in as much mass death as everyone is expecting (which bothers me lol) so that would explain that. i must say i was pretty disappointed with the white walkers (overarching storyline and also kinda their ending) but i can answer that separately if someone cares bc this is long enough but the episode as a whole still had me like WEEEEEEEE.

episode 4: i know people are up in arms but i liked it?? it was another example of just a lot of conversations and an exciting collection of what is technically not much but like i said for ½, theres only so much plot that can be fleshed out at this point so given that, i was feeling it. (JON AND TORMUND!!!!!) but it was also as a whole often another case of “is this got or got fic” (see: brienne and jamie. i also have Thoughts that i can give if curious) (bronn also came out of literally fucking nowhere but i will suspend disbelief bc i LOVE HIM and i LOVE HIM WITH THE LANNISTER BROTHERS)

gendry and arya: listen, i love them! i really do! i was absolutely giddy every time they interacted in the beginning of the season and i was straight up whooping when they had sex, but for some reason their scene in ep4 just felt like.. a lot. it was really jarring to me and something about it rubbed me the wrong way, even tho i technically do want them together. i actually liked arya’s response (even tho it made me Sad) but i also wouldn't rebel if they somehow still work out in the end, so who really knows how i feel.

im gonna stop here bc you didnt ask for any of this vgbcfhd sorry i ramble

#asks #not capri #got #got spoilers

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fairycosmos · 6 years

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(hey, if it's bothersome, you don't have to answer, i just don't have anyone to went to, sorry hhh) so i'm pretty much the only person in my class who's never going out to drink or party, and i honestly feel kind of sad whenever they talk about it? like it's not like i have any friends i could go w/ anyways, and i don't even think i'd enjoy it, but still i kind of feel like i'm missing out on life because of my anxiety and. yikes i guess

hey man. i totally get what you mean. i used to think like that as a younger teenager, you're not alone. but i think it's natural to feel that way to an extent, everyone does. the grass is always greener, right? you'll always yearn for what you dont currently have. but you're not missing as much as your anxiety is leading you to believe tbh. just cause you're not experiencing what they're experiencing doesn't mean that your life is redundant, or that this phase is unimportant. you're still learning and growing and making good memories, you know? thats what counts. you don't have to be doing anything you're not already doing. theres no point in putting that pressure on yourself, cause it wont change anything. those other kids are just getting wrecked to fool themselves into thinking their friendships are real, to try to pretend theyre happy, just like i am/do. ofc its normal to get drunk sometimes but its v easy for it to become unhealthy when you're relying on it to have a good time. things can go very wrong very fast. sure some of it's fun, and i'm not saying you should NEVER drink or anything, but if you don't think you'll enjoy it then you won't. its alright if that sort of thing just isn't for you right now, it doesn't have to be. so don't put too much weight into it. the only thing you should care about is existing in a way that makes you happy, and keeps you safe. there comes a point where you just have to accept who you are - your likes, your dislikes - because you're going to be spending the rest of your life with you. it may seem like you're an outsider, but i guarantee you there are other kids who aren't doing that shit every night - and most of the ones who do, are probably just exaggerating their stories so they have something to boast/laugh about. do you. focus on you. it's fine. you'll probably look back in 5 years and be very happy with the kind of person you are right now, i promise. but if anxietys the issue, i hope its not holding you back in other areas? you know you can always talk to someone about what's going on. you deserve to be listened to. and you definitely deserve to have friends. i mean it. they're hard to come by, but they're out there. maybe your anxiety makes you feel like you're incapable of keeping a friendship going, but that's a lie your brain is making up cause it's scared. you gotta confront that fear when you can. maybe start with talking to your parents, or a school counsellor, or your regular doctor? or maybe even just a hotline/local support group to begin with. i get that that's a big, daunting idea. and i'm not saying you wont be scared. but on your list of priorities, your mental we'll bring should always come before listening to your anxiety, and believing the bullshit it tells you. actually thinking about why you feel the way you do, identifying the root causes and figuring out how to incorporate healthy coping mechanisms into your life will work wonders. you've got this. it's easier said than done, but i believe in you with all my heart!! where you're at right now is not where you'll always be, love. everything is going to be alright. just give yourself a chance and you'll see. i really hope you feel better soon. i'm always here if you need a friend.

#anon

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silversprit · 3 years

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my ramblings of tally hall from geometry class

plus a little bit of my hate for the homestuck fandom

this is just like my animes

words words words words i hate the english language i hate all language i'll make every single language extinct so we go back to caveman grunting

never forget that literally everyone in the homestuck fandom shipped incest and didn't give a shit because they thought it was okay to draw a brother and sister making out i hate the homestuck fandom please kindly walk out of a three story window they also didn't care about pedophilia. they shipped a boy with his DAD-BROTHER. his ABUSIVE dad-brother. WHAT THE FUCK??????????/////// sometiems i want to erase my mind so im just filled with bliss. sweet sweet ignorant bliss

we're in the mini mall working the carnival we like to play them all welcome to tally halllllll aAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok sorry theres one good line in red's section it's the "i might rap like an english chap" one

it literally says green has the keys am i braindead? keys... keyBOARD???

my final message: red sus. for real. also his last ame is HAWLEY HAHAHA SOUNDS SO WEIRD SOU\NDS SO FITTING FOR THE IMPOSTOR IT SOUNDS LIKE HARLEY BUT BRITISH WHAT

i swear if green or blue or yellow or gray have cringe opinions im going to stop listening to tally hall forever i feel like i might go into cardiac arrest if i found out green was homophobic or something

tier list? nah ive only listend to like 30% of the discography

i might rap like an english chap

"yo, can i get a click?" why sure red. *shoots him*

i love how i know their names but just never call em by them. red is infinite times funnier than ... joe. joe mama jokes are soooo 2019. i know 70000 andrews so another one is just redundant green it is. zubin is actually a really cool name but bleu is blue. rob is such a bland name yellow is 10x more interesting. ross... yeah im just kinda scared of him soi m calling him gray!

#not art #via rambles #violent heterosexuality

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thewolfmancometh · 5 years

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Glass (2019) [REVIEW]

I saw Unbreakable in theaters back in 2000 and instantly thought it was awesome, despite not being the horror movie I anticipated. I enjoyed Split even more, despite knowing the big reveal that the film was secretly a sequel to Unbreakable. In other words, I was stoked as hell to check out Glass, though I was also trepidatious given writer/director M. Night Shyamalan‘s 50/50 success rate. Having seen Glass, I can confirm that the film absolutely has some rad stuff in it, but it also completely squanders any potential it had been granted with Split and delivers an underwhelming conclusion to a series that kicked off nearly two decades ago.

David Dunn (Bruce Willis) discovered in Unbreakable that he was nearly invulnerable, as well as super strong, using his abilities to help those in need. He’s considered a “vigilante,” even if he manages to track down Kevin Crumb (James McAvoy) and rescue multiple girls that Crumb kidnapped in service of one of his many personalities, the supernaturally strong “The Beast.” Authorities don’t take too kindly to either activity, which gets them both locked into a mental institution with Elijah Price (Samuel L. Jackson), who’s smart as hell but has goddamn bird bones. As you can imagine, the bad guys work together to figure out a way to break free to fight the good guy, and–blah, blah, blah, you got your movie.

The first act of this movie, up until Dunn and Beast are incarcerated, is quite good. It gives us everything we liked about Split, with a bonus David Dunn, getting our hopes up that the entire movie will also be, as they say, “good.” Boy oh boy, we are then in for a ride on the “Boring Express.” All of the actors are giving their best, with McAvoy delivering even more wacky characters than we got in Split. Willis and Jackson are both fine, while Sarah Paulson makes a welcome addition, if for no other reason than to break up Willis’ glowering and Jackson being rendered catatonic due to all the drugs his character has been given. Anya Taylor-Joy just kind of exists and could have easily been cut from the movie. In fact, most things in the movie will make you say, “Well, THIS thing could have been cut from the movie,” but there’s absolutely an entertaining 90 minutes in there!

The film’s biggest failure is that it feels like it was written by a kid who wanted to explore the idea of “What if superheroes were real?” back in, say, 1995, when Marvel Comics was on the brink of bankruptcy and he hoped to inspire audiences to look within ourselves to see what we’re capable of while also promoting the effectiveness of comic books as a medium. Now, take that script, put it in a time capsule, and open it up in 2018, and some things might feel a little…off. In addition to this script likely having references to Surge soda and Chumbawumba needle drops, all of the dialogue would feel incredibly pandering and redundant. In the 20 years since Unbreakable came out, few things have become more popular than comic books and superhero movies, but Glass seems oblivious to that. Had this film and/or Split come out in the mid-2000s, it would likely have been much more effective, as we hadn’t been given things like The Dark Knight, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe, Sin City, Dredd, or dozens more comic book movie adaptations spanning all genres. In fact, we got a Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse a month ago, which explores themes of everyone having the power inside them to be a hero, which used Miles Morales as its Spider-Man because we have so many Spider-Man movies that we’re all goddamn sick of them. Tell that to the Surge-drinking Chumbawumba-listener in 1995 and he might tweak his script!

I’ve been saying for years (though no one cares to listen) that Shyamalan is an incredibly talented director and a mediocre writer. Rather, when he’s earned success, he runs out of people trying to control him, and he leans into countless self-serving ideas. Even The Happening, for example, has some powerful moments, yet the story itself is wonky as hell. The first act of Glass shows audiences what made Shyamalan such a phenom, thanks in large part to the actions of The Beast. Once the character is taken out of the darkness, he’s a shirtless man huffing and puffing like a maniac in less of a terrifying way and more of a “Wow this dude in the Panera parking lot is still really worked up from his Crossfit class” sort of way. It just doesn’t work, but it feels like no one was there to tell Shyamalan it didn’t work because, “Hey, you made Split! Great job, go nuts!”

As a standalone film, Glass is completely harmless. It’s not great, but there are still a lot of fun moments buried in there, with McAvoy being the highlight. As a sequel to Split, the film is somewhat frustrating and suffers from setbacks that countless sequels suffer by trying to go bigger and forgetting what actually makes the film work. As the conclusion to a trilogy that started 20 years ago, it’s too little, too late, reminding me of a film like Scream 4 by being totally serviceable, yet the anticipation of a “final chapter” overshadowing the film’s actual merits, or lack thereof. This trilogy of films, which is reportedly called the Eastrail #177 Trilogy because that’s the train David Dunn is on in Unbreakable, runs parallel to a trilogy like the X-Men films. The first chapter is better than it has any right to be, the second film is quite good, and the third film fails as both the conclusion of a trilogy and as a movie in it of itself, making you wonder how things could go so wrong so fast.

In other words, Glass ain’t great, but there’s no reason to get too upset about it, because Split is still available and that movie friggin’ rips.

Wolfman Moon Scale

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#IFTTT #WordPress

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doi917 · 7 years

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*EDGY*

As a person who regularly wears black unironically and doesn’t use Hot Topic as basis and or means of aquirement in terms and or pertaining to said shade of clothing I find that In wearing Black, this color, this shade, that im not only showing a certain social statement, that im showing i disconnect to the irredecent, self obsessed, flesh sacks that judge in terms of what is and is not socially aquaintable by means of the intellectually retarded’s interpretation of a “aesthetic” and or “facade by means of sight”, but that I am in term showing familiarity (in terms as to what I am comfortable with) and or a form of devotion to this shade that is aesthetically and quite possibly deeply rooted in terms of emotional, intellectual, and creative fulfillment.

However there are many “people” and I say “people” loosely here, who feel that the certain occurrence for my choice of garment is otherwise known and stated….. Of course im talking about the socially and emotionally retarded’s (or might as well more commonly known as apathetic through ignorance or even emotionally inexperienced’s) most redundant, inexplicably, flat out ignorant and dare i say mongaloid filled term that will never cease to anger me in its entirety….. “Edgy” “Edgy” ladies and gentlemen is a very overused term that has found itself at the forefront of slang in the language barrier that never ceases to show just how shelterd and well groomed these intellectually void, Apathetic “people” are, for reference and furthermore blatent reference “Edgy” is used in common day terms to try and say that in context it could mean “trendy” or “trying to be shocking” in some sort or fasion, for instance “I hate society” “Thats edgy” Its used and or meant in a derogatory term in means of belittling you based on certain beliefs and or actions, Do you wear black and listen to Marylin Manson? Edgy. Does it matter if theres an emotional connection to that NIN song you listen to? Nope. You are labeled “an edgy edgelord” Do you find the world (as a collective meaning blatent humanity) to be annoying, repulsive, undeniably redundant and mundane? Edgy. Talk about songs that mention you not wanting to be in a hole of constant persistent self doubt? Edgy. This term is used by the emotionally ignorant apathetic Mongoloids who wouldn’t know what trauma or emotional experience would be if it slammed their face deep into a spike, and dont get me wrong I have used and or utter the term but only to certain situations that i know or in blatent terms to also make fun of the labeler, example, A poser who thinks they know and or abuse the terms of a mental illness they clearly have no idea what the hell they are, and use them to blatently just get attention when they dont need it all because they dropped a fucking cookie or did the emotional equivalent of it? yeah to me thats “edgy” or calling myself an “edgy edgelord” im doing it facetiously to make fun of the emotional depth (which is as about as deep as a carpet as far as im concerned) but they way it is contextually used is quite frankly in all matter of terms “fucking stupid” Its like the stupid phrase “get over it” or how i like to describe it “wow you arent happy like the rest of us? Well let us to allow ourselves belitte you with an incorrect and blatently stupid use of a suppos-ed derogatory term in order to forcefully bully you back in to the frame of life and or veiw that you should be happy all the time and you are overreacting to everything that happens to you life is perfect, pussy.” It shows just how sheltered and sickly ignorant you are as a human being personally being in your own little pathetic bubble of apathy and self-indulgence to see soley with tunnel vision as to what you want and not what you need. You got parents that take care of you and cater to the emotional and physical needs of you? Good. Not everyone has it. Never had trauma? Good. Well guess what man? Other people can get it and youll never truely understand just How heavy that weight of a situation is

Oh man, I want to express myself in a way that will get this emotional pain out and wont get me sent to the loony-bin on a one way ticket in the twinkie mobile just because i frowned once and thus getting me fucked up and strung out on the hype trainwith the other 70% of Americans to the co-dependancy that is a bottle of pills that was forced upon me by people in white lab coats that are corporatly controlled and relentlessly as well as demonicly follow the shrill doctorine of cold hard cash? Youre just edgy. You got shot by your dad? Edgy. Your mom senselessly beat you as a child and used your hair as a ash tray? Edgy. You were constantly blamed by both parties of your parent divorce as the sole reason for it? Edgy.

Obviously you understand my point

I hate this word. The fact i even have to say it is pathetic and so depressing it makes me cry at night This isnt ok Its fuckin stupid Stop it You arent funny or cool Youre an idiot And intellectualy devoid apathist who wont progress anything with your damn banter

Then again what do i know? Im just Being Edgy

#edgy #so edgy

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