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ctrl-lupin · 1 month

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Yes, I would be very interested hearing your head canon (@tim-ribbert-56) (in response to this post)

I have decided for my personal entertainment that Clarisse de Cagliostro is related to Lupin III, and here's why.

-pulls out Arsène Lupin's Wikipedia page-

In the novel La Comtesse de Cagliostro, a young Arsène Lupin (at the time going by the name Raoul d'Andrésy) was courting Clarisse d'Etigues, a young lady of a well-to-do family, and trying to win her hand, despite her father's disapproval.

Throughout the course of the novel, Lupin meets and falls in love with Joséphine Balsamo, aka the Countess of Cagliostro, and abandons Clarisse in favour of her. To clarify, Joséphine is not actually countess of anything, she is (or claims to be) a descendant of Giuseppe Balsamo aka the Count of Cagliostro (who was also count of jack shit), a famous conman from the 18th century.

Shenanigans ensue, which I will not go into in details on, but oh my god I am insane about Raoul and Joséphine, I want to dissect them and study them under a microscope. It turns out Joséphine aka Cagliostro is evil as fuck, Raoul/Lupin realizes that and goes back to Clarisse (whom he had previously abandoned like an old sock, I fucking hate this guy), marries her, and a few years later has her kid.

Unfortunately Clarisse dies in childbirth, and Joséphine, who was still around and very very pissed at Lupin (and jealous as hell of Clarisse whom, may I mention, had never personally antagonized her in any way whatsoever, Joséphine is just fucking bonkers). Joséphine also kidnaps Lupin and Clarisse's son, Jean, and raises him as her own son. (I have not yet read the following novel The revenge of Cagliostro so I don't really know what Jean's deal is, I just know he's an antagonist).

The following is my headcanon, based on these events. In the universe of Lupin III, Joséphine Balsamo was actually countess of the small kingdom of Cagliostro (maybe Giuseppe was count, maybe he conned his way into becoming count, maybe he bought the land and built a fake kingdom with a fake history, who knows).

After the events of The revenge of Cagliostro, Jean settles down in the country of Cagliostro, gets married, has a child, and that child will later have a daughter of their own, who they name Clarisse, after their late grandmother. Clarisse de Cagliostro, of Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro fame, would thus be the great-grand-daughter of Arsène Lupin, making her Lupin III's cousin/niece/whatever you call this specific degree of separation.

I am choosing to make Clarisse de Cagliostro a great-granddaughter of Arsène Lupin, rather than a granddaughter, because Arsène Lupin was very young when the events I described unfolded: he is 20 years old when he meets Clarisse d'Etigues and the whole Cagliostro debacle happens, and 25 by the time Jean is born. I'm assuming he had Lupin II much later in his life. So Jean and Lupin II (half-brothers) would have a significant difference in age, and so Jean's hypothetical child (grandchild of Arsène Lupin, so of the same generation of Lupin III) would be much older than Lupin III. Clarisse de Cagliostro is younger than him, maybe around the same age if you stretch it, so she's have to be a great-grandchild.

Now I need to read The revenge of Cagliostro and study Arsène Lupin's wikipedia page in more detail to determine when exactly Lupin II was born and who his mother was. And also where Albert's family branched out, because the fact that he's called D'Andrésy should theoretically place him as a descendant of Arsène Lupin's mother but not of Arsène Lupin himself; but Jean was also going by that last name, so who fucking knows.

No I am not insane I promise, I am just a gigantic nerd.

#i have very mixed feelings about Papy Lupin Original Flavour #cuz you see in the first books he was pretty much like his grandson #a charming little bastard; smug as hell but also charming enough to make up for it #like. an ego the size of the eiffel tower but it's highly deserved #if he robbed me i would just thank him #you wanna punch him in the face but like. lovingly #then around The Hollow Needle he started acting weird #and after that his ego grew into a god complex the size of the eiffel tower and he just lost all the charm #like. just a huge dick honestly.#i thought that was a logical evolution after (SPOILER FOR THE HOLLOW NEEDLE) his wife got brutally murdered in front of his eyes #mere HOURS after they got married and he gave up his whole career as a thief for her #which would be an understandable evolution #but no he's also retroactively an asshole in The Countess of Cagliostro which is a prequel #i guess leblanc just decided 'lupin's a dick now'#which sucks #but on the other hand it's very funny to kinda hate-read The Countess of Cagliostro #i was honestly rooting for Joséphine for most of the book #she is fucking insane which is exactly what raoul/lupin deserve #you know that Mountain Goats song 'no children' ?#'hand in unloveable hand; i hope you die i hope with both die'#or that post that says 'i don't ship them they're too toxic / well i hope they kill each other mid-fuck'#well that's me with them #just reading on to see how many more life-ruining decisions raoul can bodily throw himself at #also leblanc did joséphine dirty!!!!!!!!#LET MY GIRL BE EVIL FOR GOD'S SAKE #none of that 'her fragile feminine nature' and fainting after murdering someone because deep down she can't bear her own cruelty #what the fuck #let her be genuinely unhinged!! let her bash raoul's head in with a meat hammer!!!!#(yes that is something that she tried to do)#anyway. justice for Joséphine Balsamo. god forbid women do anything

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redrobin-detective · 10 months

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“While dick is not acting like a doting parent but an f up 20-something year old” you’re brain is so big how does it feel to be so correct

Broke: Dick has Eldest Daughter Syndrome and feel personally responsible for all his younger siblings

Woke: His younger siblings have assigned Dick Eldest Daughter Syndrome

#idk how to describe it #but his siblings acting like dick is mother henning them #when dick is either a) acting as a leader b) just trying to be their friend #honestly I would argue Tim is the only one Dick views as a proper sibling #Jason died before Dick could connect with him that way making him more a martyr than a brother #He canonically has trust issues with Cass (most likely stemming from her similarities to Bruce)#Dami i will say forever is more a son than a brother to him #and Duke is still new plus by this point there has to be a huge age gap between them #everyone looks to dick as a big brother #dick is still trying to wrap his mind around taking care of himself much less these other traumatized kids

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jurassic-cunt · 3 months

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okayyy somehow you find yourself stumbling into the franklin expedition. who are you trying to fuck? or, if you're not interested in fucking, maybe you're trying to get certain characters to fuck each other? go!

#i couldn't even conceive of making this a poll there is just too many elidgible bachelors #obviously blankey has huge dick energy but he's too cool for me honestly he's way out of my league i'd never get to hit that #but lieutenant eyelashes on the other hand is lonely and scared so i feel like i could fix him lol #the terror

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nailgunstigmata · 7 months

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saw x spoiler but i honestly think the eyeball suck trap is the one i could actually survive. like yeah breaking ur fingers sucks but if the alternative is having your eyeballs sucked out?? yeah im a coward but the fear of eyeball sucking is making me turn that knob all the way up immediately

#saw x spoilers #extra huge spoiler hear but i saw someone say apparently in the leak the guy only manages 3 which is like??? i know its a torture trap and #having ur fingers broken sucks but its ur EYEBALLS #honestly i might still freeze up if i was actually in the trap but doing three fingers and then stopping is wild like #i need to know how that happens #does he hesitate too long or is jigsaw just a dick again

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mariocki · 11 months

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Donald Sutherland steals the show as a disarmingly charming bank robber (turned convict, turned escaped convict), as John Wood in The Saint: Escape Route (5.14, ITC, 1966)

#fave spotting #donald sutherland #the saint #escape route #1966 #classic tv #itc #followers of my faves spotted will know‚ as I've rambled about it in tags before‚ that prior to becoming a big screen legend Don spent #a couple of years in the uk as part of the rentayank crowd‚ making a couple of horror films and filling guest spots on genre tv #he'd already done a Saint (3.23 The Happy Suicide) which can be found if you follow my tag #mostly his uk tv roles were of one kind: creepy villains (or occasionally as in his prior Saint ep‚ a creepy red herring)#so this was honestly a delightful surprise; finally someone GOT Donald Sutherland‚ and he gets to play the kind of part #he'd be doing in cinemas in the following decade. he's fun! he's kooky! he's a bank robber‚ sure‚ but he's also just hugely #endearing. and that isn't just me‚ you feel like the script likes him too. damn it you feel like Simon himself wants him to get away by the #end (he bids him good luck with what seems like real sincerity)#hard to express just how adorable this hardened criminal is. in his first appearance he starts a fistfight in prison with Simon and as soon #as Simon gets carted off to solitary he's immediately like 'aww it wasn't his fault‚ i was the one being a dick'#he calls everyone baby‚ including the Saint‚ including numerous middle aged men #i mean SPOILER for the episode incoming but the escape route is so successful and nobody is ever found bc the bad guys are #murdering their clients (i guessed as much and was truly sad when Don got on the boat to get out of the country) which leads to an amazing #scene where Don's like 'Hey baby‚ where's the second boat to pick me up?' and when the gruff villain pulls a gun out he just says #'....baby?' as his final words. amazing. 10 out of 10 no notes performance

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setaflow · 8 months

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I haven't gotten very far in Starfield yet but looking back it's kinda hilarious that I basically went to the character creator and I guess subconsciously decided "I'm gonna make her the exact opposite of my CP2077 character" right down to them having the exact opposite hair color.

#Starfield #I went Cyber Runner; Neo Street Rat - Wanted - Taskmaster for my build so.......yeah #My roommate even called me out saying that I only picked Cyber Runner because it had 'Cyber' in the name which is.....partially true?#Honestly I wanted to play a space rogue/their and that's the best starting build for one #Anyway yeah I'm still deciding on the name but I think it's Ji-Yeon 'Lee' Aster -- Lee being the pseudonym she gives to most everyone #Korean mother German-American father #Her parents both die when she was young so she grew up in Neon scavenging tech equipment to sell for pittance #and eventually grew into a pretty decent hacker who was able to get by on Neon with minor jobs and the occasional corporate freelance gig #When she's 25 she goes in with a few friends on a huge homebrewed hacker job and the whole thing goes to shit. Like absolutely falls apart #In a moment of weakness Lee throws everyone else on her team under the bus and bails-- everyone else gets arrested and thrown in corp priso #So with a big bounty on her head she hops from system to system trying to keep a low profile until she lands the Argos job and plot happens #In terms of comparing her to Riley she's WAY smarter WAY more cynical WAY less athletic and WAY more guiltridden about her life #And while Riley's slower to trust but overall still nice at her core Lee is just a dick. The entire plot is just one big inconvenience #And to her working with Constellation is basically another way for her to hide from her massive bounty #She trusts them but DEFINITELY looks to use them in the beginning as...let's face it basically meat shields #Riley's story is more about learning how to trust people and accept change;#Lee's story is more about the importance of family and learning how to be less selfish #And finally-- Riley has blue hair and Lee has orange-red hair (her hacker alias was 'F1r3br4nd' and she never wanted to change it)#ANYWAY dump time over back to work #Seta Speaks

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zillysqueaks · 1 year

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Remember:

- Not everyone is out to attack you

- Petty snark does not indicate superiority

- Meeting all encounters with hostility is not "trendy"

It's very weird and embarrassingly egotistical to treat every person you meet as a stepping stone in your attempt to collect "gotcha"s like little trophies. Learn to recognize sincerity, honest mistakes, and goodwill that's simply different from yours.

#like i get a huge part of it is emotional maturity #but I'm so tired of seeing posts where people are just honestly trying to help #and people act like this person is a Disney villain who came to specifically hurt them and kick their dog #when it's so incredibly clear that's not the case #I'm just tired man #some of y'all are so angry and full of hate #but low self esteem isn't an excuse to be a dick

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zemnarihah · 1 year

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much to think about.

#i had lunch w my sister today and she was talking abt our dad and abt how him being like emotionally abusive made her a huge people pleaser #and she was like yeah i think you didnt get that as much #you were always the one who stuck to your guns or just didnt talk to him #and at first i was like what bc i literally dont think anything i ever did could be rlly described as actually sticking to ones guns i alwa #felt like i was so avoidant of any conflict w him bc yk i was like. terrified of him. but i was thinking abt it and compared to her i think #like yeah actually shes right? bc i would avoid conflict w him but i did that by like fully cutting off our relationship as much as #possible and she did it by trying to please him all the time. which probably neither were that healthy obviously they were jsut like. our #instincts for how to protect ourselves yk. but the thing is for the past few months i thought i had been learning how to not be so scared #of making ppl mad and to be more assertive and stuff. but i think actually i probably have always had that strength maybe it was just.#kinda beaten down for a while since standing up for myself always made things worse. so the other option to not allow him to treat me like #that was to cut myself off from him. But i still did that yk? idk.#like i was thinking more abt it and #i was the one who left the church at 18. after i moved out but i did. and i didnt hide it after that. my sister has apparently been mentall #out for years now and nobody in our family knows but me. bc she is so scared to disappoint him. and like idk. i always was like why couldnt #i get out earlier bc i know so many ppl who just said fuck you im not going anymore at like 14 or smth and i was like why couldnt i do that #but i guess looking at it from my sisters pov our situation was just really fucking hard. and i guess im realizing i was honestly a lot #stronger and braver than i thought i was that whole time. idk.#lol its like bittersweet. bc it makes it so much more real that it was actually super fucked up. the way we grew up. like i think sometimes #the easiest thing is for me to go haha yeah my dad was kind of a dick and whooaaahhh so crazy i grew up mormon hahah! but its like no that #was fucked up. but look at how i made it through that yk. its kind of making me. idk. develop some more respect for myself i guess #idk idk #ignore me i am just journal posting . lol #exmo tag

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mainfaggot · 11 months

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just found out the guy i was frenemies with in middle school got a boyfriend

#the last conversation we had before graduating 8th grade was me telling him and this other mutual friend that i thought i was maybe gay #he was like one of the quiet snarky types and its funny bc we all thought he was straight. turns out he was bisexual #and i was a lesbian 😭#im honestly jealous of him. hes white with a liberal family and friend group. he can go around with boyfriend and be happy #i cant even go on dates without my mom getting suspicious or someone in the community spreading a rumour slash snitching #it just makes me so upset why do i have to get the short end of the stick everyone else i know is doing fine so why not me #and like yeah easy to say i guess like this guy probs had to cut off a few old friends bc i remember our middle school friend group #who all went to hs together (minus myself. i went to a diff hs which is why i stopped talking to those ppl altogether)#had some homophobic dudes #but like . still cutting off a few friends versus having your whole immediate and extended family disown you?#huge fucking difference...#also im kinda mad hearing about him bc i always wanted to be closer to the kids in middle school but they were always hot and cold with me #like if he matured he would've contacted me and apologized in hs for being a dick half the time #and then i would feel at least some closure from being treated shitty for half of middle school #i didnt even want to stay friends throughout hs i just wanted an apology #damn wtf just opened a whole can of worms BCJJDJSJSK over sharing. complete #z.post

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redeyerhaenyra · 4 months

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Konïg discovering his size kink

Summary: Konïg discovers how much he likes how big he is compared to you

Warnings: Guess what! Smut. It's just smut. Size kink (duh), Doggy, Google translate German (I'm sorry 😭), Konïg being a bit of a himbo, afab reader, there is one time at the end reader is referred to as a girl in German, but honestly there's no other mention of readers gender so I hope the nonbinary pals will also be able to enjoy :D, let me know if I've missed anything

Notes: Reader is written as smaller than Konïg but he's so huge that anyone of any size can enjoy this!

The way I'm always so ready to talk about size kink

Especially with Konïg omg!!!

6'10 giant he really is my King

Anyway

I think Konïg's size kink didn't actually manifest until you

Sure he's not blind, he knows how he towers over everyone else

But it's like, it was never a part of his sex life till he was having sex with you

Like it just never occurred to him

But then, with you, it suddenly all made sense

He had you in doggy, fucking you on his thick cock in deep, steady thrusts

In this position he'd a chance to really observe how much bigger he was than you

Normally, when you two fucked, he'd be so entranced watching your beautiful face he'd have no interest looking anywhere else

Oh but now.. now he could see

How the plush skin of you hips spilled between his big hands, how they were fully enveloped by them

How he could so easily pull you back and forth, spearing you on his cock like you were nothing more than a fleshlight

A low grunt caught in his throat, dick twitching as the realisation of oh, he liked how much bigger he was than you

He liked it very much

Konïg leaned over you, pulling you further into his lap as he squished his whole body around you

He's so all-consuming, every sense is filled with him and him alone

He moans open-mothed in your ear, and licks up your neck

"Scheiße, ich hatte nicht... nicht gemerkt, wie sehr ich deine Kleinheit mag, Schatzi. Do you like it too? Ja..ja.. das wette ich, ja.." (Fuck, I did not.. not realise, how much I liked your littleness, honey.. I bet you do..)

After you and he cum, he finally notices how hard your poor litle muschi tries to keep all his cum inside, but it just can't help to let some leak out and dribble down your thighs

Makes sure to give it a little soothing thankyou kiss

Takes a moment to tell your pussy how proud of it he is, taking such a big cock in such a little hole, such a trooper

Cuz like, I know his dick is big!!! I know it!!!!!

It's proportional, shall we say 😭 your cunny working overtime so Konïg makes sure to show his appreciation to it

"Mein Gott, ich weiß nicht wie du das machst, work so hard for me, all of your strength goes into fitting my dick inside you, ja? Ja.. because you're so little, my tiny, tiny mädchen.." (My god, I don't know how you do it)

#smut #cod mw2 #cod smut #mw2 smut #konig mw2 #konig call of duty #konig smut #konig x reader #koniiiggggg my baby

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yuujispinkhair · 4 months

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Hey Winter, What are your thoughts on a friends with benefits trope with Yuuji and the reader? Love your stories btw 💗💗🩷🩷

Friends with benefits with Yuuji

Yuuji loves to be friends, and he loves to fuck. So why not combine two of his favorite things? After all, he can be your best buddy and give you backshots, right?

Pairing: Yuuji x Reader (female) Genre: smut + fluff, College AU Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: 18+, smut, handjob, fingering, oral, facesitting, fucking, squirting, loud sex. All characters are of age. Banners by @/benkeibear

It happens so naturally and without being planned or anything. Yuuji likes being your friend. He likes that you get along so well that you can laugh together and watch movies and play video games and cook together and go to fast-food restaurants in the middle of the night. He loves being best friends!

But Yuuji is also a horny boy, and he cannot stop his mind from providing him with dirty thoughts anytime you bend over and he sees your round ass right in front of his face. He cannot stop his body from reacting to being cuddled up with you under a blanket during a movie marathon and feeling your warm body press against him and your head landing in his lap, so damn close to his dick.

Yeah, he is embarrassed and feels guilty when he gets hard from watching you change in front of him. You thought it was no big deal to quickly shrug out of your shirt and sweatpants to put on a better outfit to leave the house. But Yuuji's dick decided it was a big deal, and now his honey eyes are heavy-lidded, and his tan cheeks are flushed. And you can definitely see the huge tent in your best friend's grey sweatpants.

Yuuji's sheepish smile and muttered apology don't take away the evidence that his body obviously wants you. He gulps hard as your eyes widen, and you grin while shaking your head,

"We can't go out like that, Yuu."

And he groans and nods,

"Yeah, I know! I am sorry! My dick is acting so stupid sometimes! Give me a few minutes, and it will be fine again."

He hopes he can will his erection away. Or should he just go to the bathroom and jack off? But before he can decide what to do, you take a step closer to him, and he feels a bit dizzy at the way your gaze is fixed on the bulge in his sweats while you lick your lips.

"Or... I could help you with that."

Maybe it's just meant as a joke. Maybe Yuuji is supposed to laugh and tell you to stop teasing him. But honestly, his ears are ringing, and he feels his cock twitch in interest at your words. He cannot think straight anymore. He always gets a bit stupid when he's horny. And so the only thing that comes out of his mouth is,

"You really wanna help? You don't have to..."

"It's ok, we are best friends. You are closer to me than anyone else, Yuu. And well, it's been a while since I touched a guy, and I kind of... crave it?"

Yuuji only blinks at you for a second before he nods wildly. How could he say no to such a nice offer? He's already lifting his hips and pushing down his sweats and the red boxer briefs underneath, spreading his muscular thighs and taking his fat cock in his hand and pumping it eagerly while a shaky moan escapes his lips,

"Fuck! Then yeah, help me please..."

The first touch of your fingertips to his swollen tip has him whining, and it only takes a short time before he cums all over your hand, nutting so hard that he sees stars.

Fuck, he likes that! It's so easy with you, so uncomplicated. He already likes you so much, and now he can also get his cock stroked by you and maybe even get a chance to touch you too. It really sounds like a perfect deal!

He hasn't even tucked himself back into his pants when the words tumble out of his mouth,

"Thank you... Um, can I repay the favor? I mean, you got me off, and it only seems fair that I get you off, too. Can I? Please?"

That's how you end up on his lap, naked from the waist down, two of Yuuji's thick fingers pumping in and out of your dripping wet cunt while his thumb plays with your clit, making you dig your nails into his broad shoulders and shake and tremble from the intensity of your orgasm on your best friend's hand.

Yuuji is the one who suggests the friends-with-benefits arrangement after that mind-altering experience. After all, he really likes being friends, and he really likes to fuck, so why not combine two of his favorite things? He simply cannot find any downside to that.

"So, we are best friends, and you made me cum, and I made you cum, and I really liked it. Was it good for you too? We could add that to our friendship. If it's ok with you. I mean, sometimes, you know? When we crave it. You are single, and I am single, and I don't really like going to clubs and finding someone just for one night. And you don't do that either. So, maybe we could just make each other feel good sometimes when we feel like it. Would that be ok?"

It is ok, and suddenly, your friendship is not just super fun and goofy but also super sexy.

Only two days later, you both get so riled up while sitting next to each other playing a video game that you end up sloppily making out and feeling each other up through your clothes, dry humping until you both can't take it anymore and tear at each other's clothes.

Finally, Yuuji's large hands are on your juicy ass, kneading your plump cheeks thoroughly while his eyes stare hungrily and his mouth is hanging open, drooling over himself as he looks at you on all fours in front of him, completely naked, ass wiggling teasingly for him, your pussy dripping wet and ready for him to fuck it and make you and him feel good.

Yuuji asks himself why he didn't think of this whole friends-with-benefits thing sooner! He moans so loud that the neighbors hear him when he finally sinks his fat cock into you and fucks you so good you nut three times for him and mewl his name over and over again.

The two of you start to experiment. Trying new positions, you never did before but always wanted to try. Learning each other's body and how to get the best reactions. It's shameless and easy. There are no secrets between you, no taboos. You are best friends, after all. You can tell each other everything. And do everything with each other.

You tell Yuuji no guy ever took such good care of you in bed when he pulls you on his face and eats you out for a whole hour. And it makes him so happy because he likes you so much, and you are his bestie and deserve the world, and Yuuji is delighted to give you that!

It's so natural, so easy to do this friends-with-benefits thing with you. You come to his apartment and tell him you are stressed, and Yuuji fucks you right there up against the wall and afterward on his bed and doesn't let go of you until you squirt all over his cock and are thoroughly satisfied and practically fucked dumb on his cock.

The two of you watch a movie, and your hand naturally slips into Yuuji's sweats to give him a slow handjob because you know he loves that while watching movies. And his hand slips into your pants, too, and rubs circles around your clit until you mess up your panties from cumming so much.

He groans about being so stressed from all those stupid assignments, and you crawl under his desk and give him a blow job that helps him relax, kissing his cum-stained tip afterward and smiling up at him and patting his thigh, telling him he will ace his assignment with your help.

And all the time, the two of you have so much fun, laughing about small mishaps and giggling after screaming each other's name during a particularly intense fuck. It's easy. It's fun. You know each other so well and trust each other completely. It's so freeing to just fuck each other on top of being best friends. There is no shame, no holding back, just horny, needy fucking anytime you need it.

And comforting, sweet kisses and warm cuddles.

You both don't realize that you are practically already a couple. Maybe the kissing marathons should give it away, the hours cuddled up in bed where you just kiss and talk and smile at each other. Maybe the fact that neither of you even tries to get to know someone else should be an indicator.

The two of you go to a party together, which is a perfectly normal thing best friends do. Ok, Yuuji admits that the way you dance with each other is a bit dirtier than only friends would do, but he is fine with people knowing you are friends with benefits, and this is nothing new after all.

But what is new is that you kiss him right there in the middle of the dancefloor, and it somehow makes Yuuji feel so proud that he is the only one you kiss. He finds that he can't pull away from you, and so he just keeps kissing you, just keeps pulling you tighter against his body, making out with you until his head spins.

It is Nobara who asks the question when she walks into the kitchen later on and sees how Yuuji has you pressed up against the fridge with his tongue down your throat and your fingers in his pink hair.

"What the fuck? Why didn't you two tell me you are dating??"

"Because we aren't."

"When what is this?"

"We are friends... friends who make out and... have sex sometimes."

"Don't give me that shit. The two of you have practically been married for two years. Everyone says that. We were just wondering why you never made it official. Oh well, the cat's out of the bag now. Quick, let me text everyone!!"

And with that, Nobara leaves Yuuji and you standing there, your fingers still tangled in Yuuji's soft pink strands, your lips still swollen from his kisses, and finally, something clicks in his mind, and he smiles his sheepish smile at you and is like,

"I didn't know I am a married man, but I kinda like it. What about you?"

HE MAKES ME FEEL SO AAAHHHH!!!! I ruined my panties writing this. Thank you so much for sending me this prompt!! I see Yuuji as the best guy for friends to lovers, and the friends-with-benefits trope is the perfect way to get there!! I really think he is incapable of keeping things casual but also kind of oblivious until someone else points it out ;)

I love horny boy Yuuji!! I hope you like him too!!

Please let me know what you think. Reblogs and comments would be super sweet 💗

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weaselle · 1 year

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i wanna do a thing where i lay out studies that show things in different primates that show us parts of ourselves as humans. Call it Primates: Through the Looking Glass or The Monkey in the Mirror or something

There are studies and documentaries that show things about Gorillas, Chimpanzees, Bonobos, Baboons, Macaques... that just make sense to me. That if shown right would make sense to a lot of people, i think.

like... they were studying this one group of gorillas --

okay wait. First of all, you know a silverback (the Big Male) of the group is not the leader or in charge or anything, right? He has a role, and it includes a certain amount of control, which i’ll explain briefly, but he’s not, like, in charge.

wait, you know all that Dominance/Alpha theory about wolves is all wrong, right?

wait wait wait, and also that like, the bull or the stag or whatever in a herd is not in charge of anything, right? right?

hold on. the wolves is it’s own post, the herd thing i might get back to, we’re on gorillas, okay. Silverback is basically just the male head of an extended family in which plenty of the leadership is handled by the women of the family.

There are often 2-4 silverbacks, but one, usually the largest, will clearly be senior to the others who are often his sons or brothers. Silverbacks have three main roles

1: defend the group from all physical threats aside from people, these threats are mostly random male gorillas, chimpanzee baby-snatching gangs, and the occasional leopard. Just his alert presence handles most scenarios, and then maybe a few times a year he has to risk his life fulfilling this responsibility. It is this role that provides most of whatever actual power he has over the group, namely this: while he isn’t necessarily the one deciding when and where the group goes on a daily basis, if the most powerful/capable silverback does decide to travel a direction, they pretty much have to go with him, the family isn’t safe without him.

2: make babies. And this is one area where the ladies of the group will sometimes sort of vote with their ovaries, and favor a silverback that isn’t the main one, like “yeah, Frank, you are the biggest, but honestly you’re a dick and we’re going to make sure the next generation of silverbacks isn’t another one of you.” When you see a main large silverback in a group of gorillas, it isn’t, like, his blindly loyal harem, they have to approve of him. Also gorilla females move between groups, and sometimes they take members with them or start new groups and stuff. Anyway i’m getting off track, one of the silverbacks jobs is making babies

3. keep the peace This functions a lot like being in the back seat with your siblings with your parents up front. Basically any disputes within the group have to be handled within a certain parameter of decorum, because if it gets too out of hand HE’s going to come over, and He’ll be upset, which is low-key terrifying because He’s huge, and there’s no telling who He’ll decide is at fault or what he’ll do about it, so letting a situation get out of hand is a losing scenario for everyone involved really. Tho typically he will favor senior females in disputes, in a “don’t you talk that way to your mom” kind of way.

one last thing, silverbacks don’t actually transfer power between silverbacks via battle every time.

Like i was just reading accounts from a multi-generational observational study of some wild gorillas that featured one big silverback just straight up taking over by performing the silverback duties better and becoming preferred by everyone else in the group. There was no fight, it just became, i do the job better, everyone likes me better, kicking my ass can’t change that, and boom, he was the primary silverback. And the other silverback might have been a bit dull, or a bit of a bully, but like us their species’ success is largely dependent on social intelligence; once he saw the writing on the wall, that other, slightly larger sivlerback didn’t even bother trying to change the situation with a physical fight, he understood what had happened.

okay so all that was just to tell you all this story. lol. Here’s what i saw in one documentary:

This very big, getting old silverback, who was hugely popular and successful, with a very large and tightly bonded family group, and a couple of his hulking adult sons backing him up. Everybody in his group seemed to love him a lot, he was particularly calm in that gentle giant sort of way, a safe, emotionally steady presence, happy to help raise his sons and daughters with kindness, and who could become a raging nightmare if pressed by a leopard ... exactly what a band of gorillas wants in a silverback.

But one of his adult sons had plenty of silver on his own back, and was getting itchier and itchier to be main man of the group, and this is where we start our little drama

It seems to be coming to a head, and the observers are nervous about a fight for the position. The silverback and his son are both are huge, probably approaching 400lbs, mostly muscle, with long thick fangs and skulls topped with jaw muscles as big as human biceps to wield those teeth, which nature has given them primarily to fight other gorillas with.

But then the next day, the old man leads the fam up the mountain.

it’s winter, which is why they have come down the mountain in the first place. But as we discussed, if he goes somewhere, they have to go, so they all follow behind.

up he goes, and then he sits. And waits. It’s cold and there is much less food up here at this time of year. There’s nothing to do but sit hungry in the cold. His size and metabolism makes him the most able to withstand the cold, but even he is pretty uncomfortable.

And so he sits. And his family, perhaps confused, but loyal, sits around him.

But his son, the other huge silverback, with years of training even as an adult under his wise father, is ready and able to go off on his own. Finally, he stands up, makes clear his intentions to leave this uncomfortable place. A small handful of the other gorillas stand with him -- if he goes down the mountain, then they can safely leave as well. He turns and heads down the mountain. After a moment, a few more gorillas leave the main group to follow. All in all it winds up being nearly half.

The wise older silverback thoughtfully watches his son leave with about half the group. He sits a while longer in the cold, in the company of those most loyal to him, and then takes them along a different path down the mountain

And those two groups still ran into each other sometimes, and were friendly. And sometimes a couple gorillas would change between the two groups. They were still close.

But i just thought that was such an elegant, meaningful way for that gorilla to handle that whole situation. And it makes a completely human sort of sense to me.

#science and nature #gorillas #primates

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gremlingottoosilly · 11 days

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König baby trapping his online girlfriend on their first meeting in person.

Now, it's not like you wanted to fuck him on your first real date. You're a good girl who knows about the rule of three dates and how to not be a slut on the internet - and in real life, kinda, too. You aren't entirely sure what the policy is if you already had at least ten dates in various games and video chats where you already saw his dick more times than his face. It should count, right? You're not a slut, you're just...a bit assertive. Maybe not that confident. Definitely really, really into him and you wanted to meet for the longest time, but just didn't had time and everything felt so weird at first, so you just began to... He is just so tall in real life, you feel weird even looking at him. He is cooler than he was describing himself before - for starters, he really is huge. Gigantic. Muscular and bear-like, it didn't surprise anyone when you basically jumped on top of him in the first few hours of finally seeing him in person. No one could blame you - he is handsome, rough, and kinda extreme. You finally saw the guy who was showering you in money for the past few days and, really, you don't want to miss out on anything from that experience. You need him carnally, and your lack of dating experience allowed him to go past your alarms when he asked if you really wanted to use the condom. He said it's really hard to achieve orgasm while wearing something as restricting. He said he doesn't really like the feeling of rubber on his cock, and that he is way too big for this. Honestly, his cock does look a tad too big for a condom. You weren't on any pills, but he said it's fine - there is not a chance you'd get pregnant from just one time. He is sure he is like 80% infertile from the service chemicals. He will pull out. Buy you a morning-after pill just in case. The feeling of his cock filling you up with cum is just too much to bear, to be completely honest. You wouldn't exchange it for anything - you love it way too much. Want him to cover you up completely, to take you with him...little did you know that it's literally his plan. When you text him in panic, saying something about missing your periods and asking about the possibility of pregnancy, he would just tell you he is totally fine with being a father. Was preparing his whole life for this. Already bought you a ring and started working on a nursery in his house...oh, you're moving in with him, by the way.

#cod #konig x reader #konig #yandere konig #cod x reader #yandere cod #loser!konig

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sooniebby · 7 months

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Restraining.. but it’s the guys weight holding you down.. bonus if he’s your sister’s ex boyfriend ;) bottom male reader, reader is mentioned to have a cock. Spanking, feminization, and light degradation. (Adding dub con just to be safe but reader consents to everything)

Smut idea where reader ends up getting fucked by his sister’s ex boyfriend and finds out he likes bigger and older men :3

After your sister, Karina,’s break up with her boyfriend, she’s been a bit of a mess. Even though she was the one who initiated the breakup. She never told you why but she certainly told you what she’d miss from her ex.

His smile, his hair, his hands, and his big co—

Yeah, it was getting annoying. You were honestly glad. You didn’t like the guy. Some bad boy wannabe wearing leather jackets and riding a motorcycle. He was.. like in his mid 20s! Too old to be a bad boy! You were at least glad you’d never see him again

But that wasn’t true when you ended up seeing him in your home… the day you were trying on a pair of shorts Karina got you.. the shorts were way too short for you—your ass cheek was basically popping out and you couldn’t even wear underwear with it.

And now here you were, gripping your bedsheets tightly with the shorts around your legs as you bit down on your lip. A constant force pushing up toward the headboard as he fucked you like an animal.

You could’ve said no. And really, you were about to.. but damn, he was kinda hot. Tall, lean, and tanned skin. Jet black hair.. why did Karina break up with him..? Personality maybe?

Fuck a personality right now though…

Anyway, while you lose your virginity to your sister’s ex boyfriend, all you could do was whimper and whine. You tried moving but his body was pressed down onto you, forcing you to take whatever he gave you

And what he gave you was harsh deep thrusts. Easily reaching your bundle of nerves and earning muffled screams from your lips. You shifted underneath him at each graze of your prostate but was only met with a swift spank to your ass.

He didn’t even say much for you to drop your shorts. A simple raised eyebrow and a smirk got you wet. Which is… very virgin like but at least you’re not a virgin now :)

You didn’t even think about how weird it was that this guy, who was about eight years older than you and dated Karina for almost two years was fucking you without any sense of guilt.

But fuck… your sister was right. He did have a huge cock.. but suddenly you thought about your sister getting fucked by this guy and now you felt disgusted. You tried to move again but was met with another harsh spank and him pushing you even deeper onto the bed

It looked like you weren’t leaving anytime soon. And embarrassing enough, you took it. Future you would deal with the guilt of fucking Karina’s ex.. present you would enjoy your first ever dick

“You do this for everyone?”

Oh. He can talk? You only mewled as his thrusts seemed to only get quicker, the sounds of skin slapping filling your room.

“Dressing in these type of shorts,” he tugged at the shorts around your legs. “How many did you seduce with these?”

You could only try to ignore him and just enjoy the feeling of getting fucked but he grabbed your hair and pulled. A cry left your lips as you glanced at him, a faint smirk on his lips.

“You’ve always been cute.. glad to know your pussy is tighter than Karina’s”

You couldn’t help but mewl at his words, your tight heat tightening around his cock. His smirk only grew—his eyes staring knowingly into yours.

He’s got you now.

You came soon after that in embarrassment. How could that even make you cum? But he loved it. His past thrusts were fast but it felt absent.. now, he was fucking you like he was wanting to breed you.

Your lips were continuously open, loud and unabashed screams left your lips. Each thrust caused your body to push forward violently.

“Look at you… taking me well for your first time. Y’know.. I think I know why some people love fucking virgins.”

His thrusts slowed down, earning a whine from you. He was slow and methodical which was good at first but randomly, he slammed into you, earning a cry in pleasure from you.

“Not for the innocence… but for showing someone new how good it is to be fucked. And the discovery of themselves.”

He slammed into you again.

“I think I don’t want this to be a one time thing. This pussy’s too good to give up.” He gave a soft squeeze to your ass.

“…’s not a pussy…” you slurred out, practically cock drunk at this point.

He only grinned. His thrusts were slow as he brushed against your prostate before stopping right there as he painted your insides. You gasped in disbelief, feeling the warm liquid.

He pulled out and got off from on top of you. You continued to stay on the bed—just hoping he’d leave now so you could sleep in shame for sleeping with Karina’s ex.

But you heard the sound of a camera going off. With the last bit of energy you had, you turned yourself around to look at him as he smirked at his phone.

He turned the phone to you, showing you the picture he took. Your bare ass as cum dripped out of your fucked out hole. Luckily you were face wasn’t in the picture but if someone had been in your room, they could tell it was your bedroom based on the posters you could see in the background

“Safe keeping. I had to delete Karina’s nudes… so I need some new material. You’ll be giving me more, yeah?”

You could only stare at him dumbly as he grabbed his shoes and slipped them back on. He grabbed his jacket and looked back at you. You could feel his eyes roaming your body before looking down at your hole that was still leaking with cum.

A twisted smirk was on his lips at the sight. You blushed in embarrassment and looked away.

“It’ll be fun helping you learn about yourself more… I’ll see you soon. Wear those shorts again, alright?”

With that—he was gone. But the only thing on your mind right now was…

Why was he even here in the first place?

And uh.. more importantly—what was he going to do with that picture?

I’ve always liked the idea of sister exbf but only if the bf is older and a bit mean, but I certainly think I can make him meaner for next time.. how do you guys like him?

Tag list: @the-ultimate-librarian @mello-life69 @kiiyoooo @chill-guy-but-cooler @nakedtoasterr @ofclyde @smellwell @tomoeroi @kaedezu @loivre @millecka @iwishtobeacrow

#bottom male reader #x male reader #sub male reader #oc x reader #smut drabble #smut ideas #mlm nsft #mlm ns/fw #smut prompts

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madschiavelique · 9 months

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plEase can you do “i won’t fit” “i will make it fit” with miguel 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

anon you know WHAT IS UPPPP

i tried my best writing this but i hurt my wrist and kinda had to hurry up bc i have to got to a party but i still hope it's good dzekzdfgfd not proofread by the way so MY BAD)

summary : miguel is big, so big, too big

content warnings : SMUT (18+) minors dni, mentions of oral sex (reader receiving), pnv sex, unprotected sexe (stay safe kids), lots of praise, overstimulation (?), no use of Y/N, fem!reader, size kink word count : 1,1k

He kissed and bit the inner skin of your vibrant thighs as he drew his lips in a trail of pecks up to your temple, kissing it tenderly, caressing your cheek softly as your body recovered from the orgasm he'd just had. That was already two, and he'd been at it for at least 40 minutes, or more, or less... Honestly, you were so disorientated by the pleasure that you didn't know what space-time was any more.

He loved taking his time, devouring you, going knuckles deep into you and relaxing you for him, hearing you moan soft whimpers as he ran his tongue over your throbbing clit, maintaining eye contact. And now he wanted to take it to the next level.

He came to kiss your lips, and you tasted yourself as he placed his cock in front of your cunt, sliding over your still sensitive clit, drawing a moan from you which he swallowed with his ever hungry lips.

"Miguel," you breathed between kisses, drunk on the sensations, "'s too big," you swallowed as his hand gripped your thigh firmly to give him room and his lips nuzzled your neck. "It won't fit," you assured him.

Just taking his dick in hand was complicated for the simple reason that you couldn't get your thumb to touch your other fingers with your hand, so inside you? No, impossible.

And that inflated his ego, a mean little growl raising his face in a sneer as one of his canines revealed itself between his lips.

"I'll make it fit," he reassured, stroking your hair as he came to kiss your cheek, "i'm sure you can take it, cariño."

He drowned you in kisses as you felt his dick tracing up and down your lips, coating himself in your wetness, one of your hands coming to rest on his back and the other on his tense arm.

"Fuck," he breathed, his breath ghosting over your skin, "you're so wet."

You let a gasp escape you as he began to press his tip between your lips, a low growl escaping his mouth and falling in a warm cloud onto your skin. The tip alone was huge, and you breathed in deeply as he continued to press in slowly, his lips coming to kiss your forehead in encouragement.

"I can't go further if you tense like that, querida." he came to kiss your lips, his hand gently sliding down your body, settling on your waist where his thumb made circular movements.

"I can't," you complained, tears welling up in your eyes as you pressed your eyelids strongly together.

"You can do this," he murmured, kissing the corner of your eyelids tenderly, "mi linda dulce."

You inhaled softly, and then tried to relax, closing your eyes and biting your lip as he thrust deeper into you.

"That's it," he encouraged softly, "that's my girl."

His praise made you flutter around him, an appreciative moan rising from his throat as he finally got all the way inside you.

You tilted your head back, breathing shakily as he kissed your neck with tenderness.

"Que bien lo haces," he said, his fingers gently replacing a loose strand of your hair, "taking me so well."

He began to pull away, then gently slid back in, Miguel immediately swallowing your moan. You owed it to him; he had the right to drink in the magnificent sounds he was making you create.

He gently created a slow rhythm, not wanting to rush you while you were still getting used to him.

"Hmm," he hummed against your ear, "you're so tight," he nibbled gently on your lobe.

You were slowly, though not easily, getting used to his width, your moans of ease vibrating softly in your chest as you pressed your teeth hard into the bulging, kiss-swollen skin of your lips.

"Tt-tt," he denied, coming to run his tongue over your lips to loosen the grip your teeth had on it. "I want to hear."

He came to kiss you, your whines pouring into his mouth, he swallowed them all without exception. He moved slightly away from your lips, letting your sighs of ease and whimpers take the air and he reveled in the melody you were offering him.

"Eso es," he approved, straightening as he raised your hips properly, contemplating the mess that you were for him, and he traced a line with his fingers from the valley of your breasts to your navel where he pressed lightly.

You arched your back, your breath quavering a complaint as you tightened around him. He groaned at the sensation, and he saw it, the little bulge he formed in your lower belly, his fingers tracing it down. A flash passed through his eyes as he picked up the pace, the moans escaping from between your lips intensifying. The mere idea that he was the one to make you feel so good made him feral.

"It's..." you stammered, breathless, "it's too much!"

But he continued at his own pace, the hot knot in your lower belly beginning to tighten, your nails leaving crescent moons in the skin of his arm and pink streaks down his back. He was enjoying the sight immensely.

"Mírame," he whispered, wishing he could see the extent of your desire and pleasure in your eyes.

He leaned down again, his hand coming to rest soothingly on your cheek and caressing it with his thumb as his other hand moved down between your two bodies to make circular movements over your clit, more moans escaping from your lips.

"Mírame, cariño," he asked as your eyes slowly opened, wet with tears from all the sensations that were sparkling in your body.

"Tan linda."

He kissed you hungrily, drinking in your skin and your lips, then planted a trail of kisses on your cheek, running down your jaw and biting and marking your neck, his rhythm accelerating.

You could feel the cloud in your belly spreading, the knot tightening.

"Miguel...," you moaned, "I'm..." the words were interspersed with cries, "I'm-"

"Shh," he soothed, stroking your hair as he kissed your cheek, "It's okay, go on."

Your breathing quickened, shuddering, until the orgasm burst within you, your back arching as your clit seemed to beat like a second heart, spreading shockwaves through every inch and vein of your body, your walls closing powerfully around Miguel as he bit into your skin with a groan.

Your back rested on the sheet, breathless, as if on a cloud, feeling like you were floating in softness. Miguel kissed your temple affectionately, then your tear-drenched eyelids.

"You did amazing, querida", he said, pressing you carefully against him as he caressed you, whispering sweet nothings to you to soften you up after all that emotion.

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r1pp4r · 9 months

Text

since yall loved königs so much, heres some simon “ghost” riley nsfw headcannons!!

WARNINGS: MDNI!! this is just completely nsfw :))

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* okay- simon 100% is a thigh lover and i mean ANYTHING to do with your thighs. especially if he fucks your thighs ugh, especially with your back to his chest and your sitting on his lap 🧍‍♂️

* riding. he looooves the way your body is pressed up against him, and the way you move your hips. it’s so intoxicating to him, he’s obsessed. he loves feeling you bite into his neck and shoulder, or your kisses against his jaw. he also loves the way he can grab ur thighs, and thats why he also loves the mating press or your legs on his waist, but like,, pressed to ur chest

* i don’t think simon has a lot of kinks. like not ones that physically harm you. it honestly depends on your preference :) but like idk. for me he’d have some kinks, but nothing with sadism or masochism like at all. but he loooooves to make you feel overwhelmed. i think he’d be into light bondage sometimes but not a lot. he likes to make sure you know you’re safe.

* playing off that, simon is someone BIG on hearing you verbally consent. a nod or a kiss won’t do. he needs to verbally hear you say what you need, or want. that ties into the fact he does absolutely love to hear you beg for him.

* simon is a stone top. at least imo, only bc of his SA. which that can happen, and he feels the need to have some kind of control over the situation and not you entirely. but sometimes he’ll let you praise him, and he’ll beg for you. he lets his guard down and submits to you in a sense.

* SAFEWORD. EVEN THO ITS NOT BDSM HE HAS A SAFEWORD. for him. not just for you-

* simon adore cockwarming. he loves feeling your little cunt on his shaft, where he just has you against him. he lets you grind into him barely, just getting enough friction to have soft, almost inaudible whimpers. especially when he’s doing paperwork.

* simon doesn’t ask you to give him head a lot bc he feels like it’s a task bc of his size. but you always insist and he swears its the best thing because your mouth was made for him. (sometimes he’ll fuck your mouth if he’s feelin silly n goofy :p)

* MARKINGGGG!!! he loves leaving sweet hickeys all over your neck, softly massaging your clit while sucking soft bruises onto your skin <333

* he takes his time a lot. and i mean a lot of time. he doesn’t like quickies (i agree) sessions can last sometimes 3-5 hours because he has so much stamina. like good lord.

* but he also takes his time bc he wants to show you how well knows your body. good lord does he know it. he knows exactly how to make you sing, and he’s hit spots you couldn’t have imagined.

* yes, simon is BIG but he knows how to use it. people who don’t know how to use their dick and its big, it hurts. but simon knows his angles, how deep he can go, etc.

* simon has a huge breeding kink, and i mean it’s horrid. he fills you up every single time. multiple times. he loves the thought of fucking a kid into you, and loving a kid into you. but he knows your both not ready for it yet, but it still drives the both of you crazy, the thought of you plump w his kid

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