#like the amount of personal friends I want to unfollow or disengage with or just educate if I have the strength in me to get into

[sarasa-cat]

As for a few other things --- my literal exhaustion regarding the state of the world (things clearly beyond my ability to do anything about it so I'm turning the volume down) --- I'm sticking some vague blogging about political shit behind a cut:

ngl, the current state of international affairs, national politics and political projections/fortune telling about future outcomes, and a major clusterfuck of not-well-publicized local political bullshit has pretty much made my brain turn off at the sound of all of it.

I have no plans on unfollowing anyone on tumblr and no plans on blocking any tags --- honestly, I'm fine seeing political content on occasion on my main dash and my scrolling fingers are fast --- but my level of engagement with those posts (meaning hitting the occasional like-heart) has dropped and will continue to drop precipitously.

Also, my brain has shifted into winter break mode so, lol, even if my butt is planted in a chair in the US right now, my brain has left the continent and, in a few weeks, my body will catch up location-wise.

Re: tumblr:

I really love how well curated some of my "top of tumblr page" tabs are.

My tags feed is super curated with tons of lovely visual imagery (well, minus that recent infestation of porn bots ... which makes it hard for me to interact with my tags feed when in public or in "all ages family friendly spaces").

My Blog Subs tab is becoming a bit more populated as I add more aesthetics(tm) content to it rather than only using it to keep track of my closer mutuals.

And for the most part I want to keep tumblr mainly as my place for chilling and relaxing and being watercooler-social with fannish friends online.

In Summary:

ONE: The international, US, and local-to-me political scene makes me exhausted and there is really nothing I can do anymore. (Also, I'm no longer working on various campaigns or non-for-profit-political-outreach or doing research that affects our understanding of any of the media, etc., so, like, really, I'm just a tax payer and a voter these days and nothing more on that front --- which is very different from who I was from age 18 onward, up through the end of 2022).

TWO: I am not happy with the direction of pretty much anything in the point above and when I look back at the work I have done in the past (see point ONE) and feel like .... what the fuck was it even for? Very little*** but personal experience because none of it amounted to anything beyond a full fledged extra resume attached to my normal/aca-pro resume.

(***I originally typed nothing but then I remembered a bill we managed to pass back in [*cough*] plus the work I did during the worst of the "a horse is loose in a hospital" period of pandemic, what was work that MATTERED)

THREE: I'm reclaiming all of my spare time for other things.

FOUR: Tumblr is for chilling and relaxing. and seeing tons of pretty on my dash is important to me. (preferably without the semi-disembodied butt cheeks, cunts, and boobs... tumblr-- get these bots under control).

(caveat: I am still open to ongoing political discussions that occur in private channels btwn me and a few other mutuals --- but my overall tumblr disengagement with overly political topics is going to continue dropping and may eventually plummet to zero regarding likes, reblogs, and original posts; and yes, yes, the personal is political, etc. there will always be some leak through for those reasons, and how muck leak-through you perceive depends on how personal politics can be. But this caveat is getting academic and meaningless. All of the above paragraphs clearly speak for what they mean.)

[leovaldez]

.

#the amount of people who have absolutely no connection to the I/P debate nor are educated about it #that feel the need to passively reboot for social media points #while being misinformed about the subject and only knowing one side of the story #ignoring the fact that 400 rockets were fired at Israel and many are dying #like I have to be fearful for my family #especially the one that study in Jerusalem #but since there are a total of 14m of us getting our voices heard at the same level as the other side is nearly impossible #so of course everyone is not informed of the horror and fear that we experience on a daily basis #like the amount of personal friends I want to unfollow or disengage with or just educate if I have the strength in me to get into #that conversation like 50 times #also I keep seeing h*locaust comparisons and that’s the most antisemetic bullshit I’ve seen in my life #like not only does it show how uneducated you are about what’s going on ther #it also shows that you don’t know shit about what happened in the h*locaust

[getvalentined]

Okay, this has been going around on Twitter for a couple days now and, given the response over there, I feel safe enough to put it here now; I'll be copypasting exactly what I said over there because there's no reason to say it differently.

As of today (March 1, 2022) he's deactivated his main and his art accounts on Twitter, but he has at least two other alts that are still active. His tumblr account is also still up. His URL here is the same as it was on Twitter until this all came out, which is listed at the end of this post.

Reblogging and replies are fine, just be aware that tumblr's block function doesn't actually keep the person who is blocked from seeing what you post—just from interacting with it.

TW for gaslighting and the other hallmarks of narcissistic abuse.

—

I'm tired of not knowing who knows what, assuming people are aware of things when they may not be, so I'll be overt:

Pix abused me. A lot. This is why we broke up. This is why I blocked him. I have a disgusting amount of proof. He's no one's friend. (No, not even yours.)

I'm not a fan of public callouts or anything of the sort, but there are too many people treating this person like their new best friend when he spent months manipulating my friends into leaving me while telling me it was my fault and they were really HIS friends, not mine.

He told people I've known for over a decade that I was "just about done" with them because they were having mental health struggles, he told people they had to check with him before they spoke to me, and he told people to exclude me from things because he'd be a better choice.

He called me stupid, he said I was abusing him when I asked him to stop. He wouldn't let me exist in a space that he couldn't control, wouldn't let me have a COMMENT THREAD that he wasn't also part of. He would not let me exist without his permission.

I've approached people individually that I worried were vulnerable and I knew were in contact with him, but at this point there are too many people for me to keep doing that without existing in a permanent state of panic, so I'm just being public. Which is also terrifying.

I've already had two people block or unfollow/softblock in the minutes since I posted this thread, and I expect there to be more. But he is dangerous and people need to be aware.

This is the person you're talking to. This is the person you're calling your friend. If you're okay with that, then block/unfollow/softblock/whatever. If this is something you're comfortable with, then I would prefer that you disengage with me.

—

Interjecting to add that the following screenshots were taken at different times and are from different conversations, so the gaps in the timestamps are to be expected. This was not a single conversation, but tumblr's image formatting makes them look like they were.

—

I did my best with this. I tried everything in my power to be what he needed, to make it a matter of Us vs The Problem instead of Him vs Me, but that wasn't what he wanted. I wouldn't fight him, I wouldn't intentionally hurt him back, and so he got worse.

This had been going on for months when I finally broke up with him, and even then I wanted to stay friends. I really did. Because I thought it was my fault he was like this, because I thought I had hurt him somehow to MAKE him treat me like this. It was just me. That was fine.

And that's the real story. That's why we broke up, that's why I blocked him, that's why I don't use his name. I just want everyone else to be safe. I'm done.

For anyone who doesn't know who I'm talking about, his @ is currently pi/xel/ed/pal/ace (without slashes) and was previously pi/xel/ed/xxx. NOW I'm done. Have a good night, everybody.

[original thread]

#the [redacted] files #personal / #reblogs allowed / #how do I keep this from showing up in the search #uhhh #fuck fuck fuck #fuckity fuck #shit #goddamn #tony the tiger? #GIRL #I know the banned tag issue is much less severe now #but hopefully that works #narcissistic abuse #gaslighting #psychological abuse

[bbq-hawks-wings]

Blog Updates

Well, the cat’s out of the bag anyway, so I might as well finish up this draft and make it official 

I am no longer considering myself a request/writing blog.

I WILL continue to analyze chapters, speculate, and generally talk headcanons and fandom.

I’m burnt out and frustrated with the point I’ve reached in regards of the general lack of basic respect I’m treated with when I’m not “putting out,” most followers completely disengaging only to flood in when requests are open, and the amount of anxiety and stress it causes me have shown it’s time for curtains.

I've mentioned it before; but I'm a wife, a mother of toddler and a newborn this summer, a game master for a weekly tabletop with friends, and have other hobbies/skills I'm trying to foster next to trying to be active and available for my social circle and community. Unless I get a substantial Patreon following or other comparable full-time compensation I just don't have the energy or motivation to continue fulfilling individual custom fantasies anymore. When I got literally zero submissions for other recommended fics/authors after multiple requests for them over a long period of time that really proved to me there's no point running myself ragged anymore if I don’t want to. Custom work is worth what the artist/writer thinks their time is worth, and I just don't feel like giving it away for free anymore.

I still want to try to get to some of the requests I got over Christmas, but that will likely be a slow drip and then that'll be it.

I absolutely will ALWAYS be open to talk about opinions/headcanons around canon characters, though. I just won't be doing the "x reader" genre anymore. Please also understand that if get “preachy” (and it’s at least half as annoying to me as it is for you - imagine having that nagging voice in your head all day long) it’s probably just because something was said in a way I didn’t feel was respectful or considerate. For a lot of people it doesn’t matter, but I generally like to treat fictional characters as if I was talking about real people kind of like practice unless the context is clearly a joke; and even if I speak my mind I don’t automatically think you’re a bad person for sending it to my inbox. It’s just that if you want my opinions, my sense of morality doesn’t get checked in at the door.

If you followed me for my writing and don’t like sifting through my non-writing content go ahead and unfollow me now. I promise I won’t be upset. It’ll actually be better for us both and there’s nothing keeping you here if you don’t want to be. Go on, be free!

From here on out, this is just going to be my blog - my thoughts, my opinions,  my things I feel like sharing or things I find I want to share with those who are interested. It’ll be mostly BNHA, but I may bring up other series I love like Dr. Stone or Re:Zero once in a while if it’s relevant or I feel like it.

Yet, I still recognize that the self-insert genre means a lot to a lot of people and I want to recommend @sparkncharge, @keigos-dove, and @90s-belladonna as active writers you can turn to in my absence as long as they are open to requests. I’m still scouting out more as I make my way through the character tags so please comment with recommendations or let me know of any so I can add to the list in a reblog. Treat them well and thank them for their work. Speaking from experience, it means a lot.

#she speaks #personal #blog updates

[marvelousescapism]

hey sorry honestly i have no idea how any of that read as bucky hate bc. it wasnt and also like im not saying no one can find him compelling or interesting or anything lol i just meant that the huge amount of hype around him in and out of fandom spaces is absolutely a result of him being a hot white guy first and anything else second. like the amount of people who make sexy edits of him being tortured and the like is. staggering and kinda uncomfortable

ah you're back. first of all, thank you for clarifying that what you said wasn't meant in a hateful/malicious way. sorry i thought that way initially (but there is a fair bit of drama-baiting going around and i really don’t want to engage with fandom drama myself, so i hope you understand).

second of all, i'm not sure what sort of answer you're looking for from me here exactly. like, i'm not sure what i said or reblogged that prompted your asks. maybe you just feel like my blog is somewhere you feel safe venting about things that are upsetting you - in which case, i’m glad you feel that my little spot on the internet is a safe place to express yourself, but please do keep in mind that i personally would like to avoid engaging with quite a lot of d*scourse that’s going around.

i'm gonna go ahead and assume that your intentions are good and that you’re just looking for some reassurance for how you're feeling about this - which i understand completely. i've put my response under a cut so that it doesn't clog up other people's dashes - i hope you don't mind.

now, because i know nothing about you and i suck at communicating in general, it’s hard for me to tell what your specific feelings regarding bucky and his fandom are. so i might be getting this wrong, but i think what you’re saying is that you like bucky as a character, but his fandom annoys you.

i think the healthiest thing for you to do is to disengage with blogs and fans and content creators whose opinions are making you feel uncomfortable and annoyed. go on an unfollowing spree. block people. block me if i reblog a lot of bucky content you don’t enjoy. don’t feel like you’re being rude - you’re just creating a fandom experience that you can enjoy.

sexy edits of his torture scenes and other objectification-for-the-sake-of-objectification content about bucky makes me uncomfortable too, so i don't follow people who post or share that kind of content (which is why it surprises me that you've found staggering amounts of it - i hardly see any myself!).

i don't dislike people who do make or enjoy this content, though, because that's how they personally engage with this character and that's not for me to judge. but if you personally feel like you dislike these people, that's even more reason to disengage with them.

now, when it comes to your aggravation over people engaging with bucky’s character predominantly because he’s a hot white guy, i really do sympathize. i agree completely that, if bucky weren’t conventionally attractive, or if he were a person of colour, or if he were a woman, he would not have nearly as many fans as he does now. and it really sucks.

fandom spaces are microcosms of the misogynistic, racist society we live in, and have been catered by white people for decades (due to, among other reasons, lack accessibility to these spaces for people of colour, and people of colour not being made to feel welcome in these spaces). it’s something we all need to be wary of and the fandoms i’m in definitely have a whole bunch of issues when it comes to racism and sexism.

however!! this is not a conversation i, as a white person, feel i should be leading. so i’m gonna leave it at that and move on.

i do feel that, when it comes to your annoyances over people only engaging with bucky’s character only because they find him attractive, this may be something you ought to practice forgiving people for. how people personally engage with a character - whether you feel it’s a shallow engagement or an engagement that makes you feel uncomfortable - does not need to be something that encroaches on your personal engagement with a character. try to understand that the person posting/reblogging this content did not mean for someone like you (i.e. someone who would be annoyed at this content) to see it, forgive them, unfollow or block them if you feel that’s best, and try to move on. it will get easier the more you do this.

the fact of the matter is that some people do only engage with certain characters because they find them hot. and that’s okay! that’s how those people are having fun in fandom - it doesn’t mean you also have to participate this way, and it is not your duty to persuade them to participate in a different way. engaging with a character just because you find them hot isn’t a bad thing. it harms no one. and, at the end of the day, as long as the way you are engaging with fandom harms no one irl, there’s nothing wrong with it.

phew. okay. im done.

sorry this response got so long! i really hope it didn’t come across as condescending because that was not my intention at all. but i do hope there’s something in this long-winded ramble that you find helpful. adios, my friend.

#long post under cut #ask #see im even anxious posting this reply - i really do not want to get involved in this kind of discussion about characters and fan engagement #idk i hope it's helpful though