#like out of all the stuff they supposedly dont fear. they were afraid of being trapped in there

[businessbois]

I would love to hear your options on c! Tubbo!

someone actually asked me this forever ago and i completely forgot to answer and then felt awkward because itd been so long, apologizing to that person now.

okay c!tubbo, i dont really watch tubbo as much as i watch tommy, but i’ll give my two cents but no guarantee im 100% right. like tommy, he’s grown up in war. he fights for this country, loses two lives for this country, becomes the president of this country, and then loses this country. i never wanted  tubbo to be president admittedly, i know a lot of people were hopeful on the 16th when it was first announced, but i was firmly of the belief that neither he nor tommy should be president. i mean, cc!tubbo says he basically just plays himself in his character and look at how chaotic cc!tubbo is. he shouldn’t be tied down to be president, he should get to be 16. but tubbo’s a trooper, so he takes this title given to him by the man who blew up the country. 

i believe tubbo wanted to do good and i believe he could’ve, but he was not a great leader. that’s not his fault, he needed guidance and support to be a leader and got none of that. tubbo’s ideals of “i want everyone to get along” did not hold up in the world of politics. honestly, tubbo probably would have been very receptive to a conversation about dissolving the government, he’s eager to listen, eager to learn. this eagerness that placed him as wilbur’s toy soldier, schlatt’s yes man, and finally dream’s puppet. new l’manburg’s cabinet was ruled by fear. technoblade took a canon life from each tubbo and quackity. it doesn’t matter if he’s supposedly peaceful now, how are they supposed to trust that? techno was supposedly on tubbo’s side when he shot him with a firework rocket. so they’re scared and they’re stupid and tubbo’s a trooper so he goes after the man who blew up the country.

tubbo after doomsday is interesting. this is the chaotic tubbo. this is tubbo unweighed down by the presidency. he’s still afraid, but now he’s got fucking nukes and i love that for him. he learned from doomsday, learned that the people with the most firepower are the ones who win. maybe all that stuff about government being bad went unheard under the explosions. tubbo takes a lesson about survival from doomsday. he’s determined to protect himself and his friends because he believes that he’s failed so many times before. there’s this quote from phil that’s like “i expect blood from techno, he was born in blood, he’s the embodiment of chaos. but fucking tubbo burned down a tree?? where did i go wrong?” but tubbo was born in war, tubbo is a little ball of chaos. but tubbo does not get this same courtesy. techno gets 150 wither skulls and so tubbo has nukes. 

tubbo on disc day is also interesting. disc day starts out with tommy prepared for the worst and tubbo hoping for the best. it quickly flips. tubbo has lived without tommy. he spent weeks(? timeline??) thinking his best friend was dead, he can’t do that again. he’s lived so much life. he’s sure he’s ready to go. he wants his friends to be safe, to be happy. that’s why he has nukes, that’s why he built snowchester, that’s why he’s here. and if that’s why he has to die, then so be it. tommy, on the other hand, was fully ready to die that day. he was not, however, ready to live without tubbo.

dream’s locked away. tommy’s safe and building a hotel. tubbo decommissions the nukes. because they were always about protection, not revenge. tubbo has always been about protection, not revenge. he forgives techno immediately after the pit accident because tubbo’s not a guy who holds grudges, he’s not after revenge. later, he goes after techno when he becomes president and feels as though he’s a threat. he wants to protect himself and his friends.

just know if you are ever in my ask box, i will just be giving you nonsensical rambles vaguely about the topic you brought to me. i apologize now and every time

#long post #dsmp analysis #tubbo

[lucky4in]

Magic Interferes in New Orleans

Prompts from Piccadilly's book #3

Words used: ☆matriarch ☆throat ☆impossible ☆vinegar ☆apology ☆slice ☆microwave ☆raspberry ☆choose ☆snore

God! I can't take it. The dread is killing me. I'm losing all the blood in my fingers with how tight I'm squeezing the steering wheel. The honking around me is not helping. I can feel everyone's fear collectively as we sit in agitated traffic. Stress. Fault. Jitteriness. Indifference. Panic, panic, panic.

God, I hate being an empath. I can't even hear my own thoughts. I need to breath! Yeah. Take deep breaths. I'm not far from the U-turn lane. So what if traffic is moving 1 millimeter a minute? The storm can't be faster.

Hooooonk!

Beepbeep!

I have to get out of this situation before I have a sensory overload.

From my front and my rear, I'm surrounded by vehicles. I can't move back, I'll hit someone. I can't move up, because they'll think there's space to move and I'll be more stuck than before. Looking to my right I realize the road across the gate is fairly empty. That last car I saw go that way was 40 something minutes ago.

I gulp loosening my grip from the wheel but still holding it firmly in my palms. Taking a breath I turn the wheel and step on the gas. My car races through the grass and crashes though the metal gates. With a screech, my tires are finally rolling and I'm off. Towards the dark clouds like a fool running blindly into a lions den.

When I finally catch sight of the curling palm trees and the flying debris, my weariness is replaced by anger. We had a plan. A simple schedule. Prepare emergency food, water, and medicine, flashlights and documents, locate nearest shelters, fill up gas tank, clear the yard, and turn off the power. When the evacuation order is set, I would be too far away at the time, so my husband would get the kids from home and we...would...evecuate.

Evacuate.

We would meet at the nearest shelter with our separate cars...

Unfortunately, my...sweet...dearest mother decided to take it upon herself to pick up the kids herself...and NOT evacuate. Instead, she wanted her grand babies to feel safe during the storm and cook them a nice meal...at her house.

I almost had a heart attack when my husband said they weren't there. Instead, a note was attached to the fridge reassuring us that my elementary school kids, including a baby, did not infact disappear off the face of the earth. She wants them to feel less threatened and stressed over this "flood nonsense". Make it seem like a regular thunder storm.

Except it's not a thunder storm! It's a hurricane!

I told my husband not to worry about it, I will get the kids and be ok. The hurricane is suppose to be a bad one, the weather man said. Anything left undemolished by the storm by the end of this would be a miracle. Hopefully it won't be my sanity. I swear, she's impossible.

By the time I get to her house, the streets are flowing with water and clawing up her driveway like waves at a beach. I step out and my shoe kerplunks into the water. I groan, feeling my ears eject hot steam. I stomp onto her porch with a squish, squish, squish and jam the key into the lock.

I kick the door open and slam it shut, my anger seeming to accelerate as soon I step inside. I cringe a bit, noticing my youngest asleep on the couch.

"DON'T SLAM MY DO-" my mother sticks her head out through the kitchen doorway and spots me.

"-Oh, hi baby!"

I stretch a tight smile, coaxing my child back to sleep. "Hello, mother."

"You came just in time. I just need to get a few things done before we eat."

And there she is. Like always. Not worrying about a thing while marinating apple cider vinegar on peices of pork. Probably to slice into the-

Sniff, sniff.

-gumbo. Her calm persona was infuriating. Almost insulting.

"Too bad my son in law couldn't be here. He'd love to stuff his face with the beignets" she continues.

"He's at the shelter. Kinda like we're suppose to be" I say, honey tounged and all "which begs the question..." I lean in, my palms face down on the table. "Why aren't we there right now?" I sneer, bringing my voice down.

"Because there's no need to. You know that" she says simply.

"Maybe in your case, but not mine. You just felt entitled to do things your way. Like you always do. I had everything under control and-and you had me worried."

"You know nothing was going to happen to these kids. I knew nothing was really wrong."

"If you really felt so aloof about this, you should have stayed yourself. You can't just up and take my kids like that. We've talked about this."

She finally looks at me, turning away from her task. "I should be free to see my own grand kids whenever I want to."

"I would have probably excepted that, if we weren't in the middle of a god damn hurricane-"

"Momma! Momma look!"

I was interrupted by my two children excitedly telling me that a pie was on the way. All while showing me their hands, proof of a raspberry massacre. Animated. Passion. Triumph. Pleasant. I ruffle their heads with a quick "good job" and they ran off together. Their happiness almost cures my frustration. It does calm me down a bit though.

"Is is so much to want to keep your family safe" my mother asks.

Aaaaaaand its back.

"Is it so much to just listen to me? To just let me do things my way? I am in no less danger than you are just because I dont have the same... tools that you do."

"It looks like it puts you in a lot of danger if you have to evacuate the city. You could simply come here so momma can protect you."

"That makes me look like a normal person, mom. The streets are already flooding and a ton of people just saw me go the opposite direction. I look stupid and suspicious." I'm taken back to my teen years. Having a similar conversation with my mother. "Not everything can be solved with your protection. I can make my own decisions. But instead you undermine me and tamper with everything around you. Just because I dont have it, doesn't mean I cant keep my family safe or simply be a mother. How about, for once, you let mother nature do her job."

"Your father made this house with his bare hands, rehydrating himself with his sweat. No one is touching this house. Not even Cosmo's or Gaia or whatever." She huffs and turn away. A puff of steam emerges over her head, indicating she opened the pot of Gumbo.

"Well, when your the Matriarch, you can start making the rules around here."

Realizing an apology isn't coming, I groan restricting myself from wrapping my hands around her throat. Its silence between us, as there is after every altercation. Especially when the house is mentioned, cause it's always Papa's house. He passed away before I could even learn to speak his name. Mama always told us about Papa. How she met him, how he put her on her feet and built a house for her (it was told he even built the bricks holding this house up), how his devotion to his family and the love of his life lasted until death did them part.

"What makes you think I'm going to be the next Matriarch?" I ask, slipping in the kitchen chair.

"You will. It's a family tradition that you need to uphold. And you are the only girl conceived by me." She answers, this sounds almost rehearsed.

"Why don't the others take your place?" I ask, for the millionth time.

"It's only rare that a boy has ever been in place of a woman. And once a girl was brought in, he was removed immediately."

"If it's that simple then crown them and get it over with."

"Oh, do you think it's that easy"? She quizzes, slowly turning to me.

"Knowing you, probably not."

"Hyde is much more coordinated than that. If they really didn't think you were worthy, we would have known, but I always knew you were special."

Here she goes again. Hyde,, is supposedly the person that gifts the family with magic, life, and girls. It's the spirirt who thrones and dethrones us. No matter who we are. According to mom, the next Matriarch could be good or bad, Hyde has a plan for them in the end.

Along with Papa's stories, Hyde was always directed towards me because I was the only girl, excluding my half sister. Truthfully there was no way to know if Hyde was actually real. I'm not even sure if my parents have seen it. Mom would tell me tales at night of different women throughout our generation, chosen by Hyde and how I would be like them someday.

Perfect.

"Hyde doesn't give you this gift for no reason" mom reassures "they always have a plan. You can't see everything in a negative light. What if Hyde chooses Clio and you-"

I stop her at the mention of my youngest name.

"I'm not putting that responsibility on my kid" I say sternly, though It probably won't matter what I tell her "Especially if, no offense, she ends up like you. Completely dependent on Hyde's gift. IT didn't give me any when I was born, like the rest of you, and I'd like it to stay that way."

Silence once more.

"Perhaps you're afraid-"

"I'm not afraid-"

"-its okay."

"-Of this imaginary ghost."

"Sure, keep believing that. But when it happens~" she sings.

"When it happens to me, pigs will fly" I sneer, memories of that same sing song tone prodding at me.

She says nothing.

"Just let it go mom, it's just not meant to be. I'm not a child that you can hide under your wings when hail comes. However your gifts came to be, Hyde, the house, whatever, it must've skipped a generation."

She continues to stir. She sputters "but-but the family-"

"-The family doesn't know what's best for me and neither do you. I know I'm the only daughter to the Matriarch. I know I wasn't born with any gifts like my siblings. I know refusing my path makes me an ungrateful child and Hyde will handle me" I say reciting what I also heard throughout my life "But that's not my life. And I'm not defenseless."

She freezes. More silence.

"And, I mean, it's not like having voodoo is easy. It consumes you and it messes a lot of things up. This worlds order and the next."

"That's what the council is for" my mom mutters finally.

"Oh, right. The council. The same family who's just as dependent as you. Do you even remeber a time where you haven't used your gift and actually did things yourself?"

...

...

"Don't you ever think of letting go of this life? Doing things for yourself and not the family? Hyde? Papa's house? I notice how this changes you as you age. If this is the answer to our problems I wouldn't mind the sea taking this house away for a while-"

"Mama! Mama!"

"Wow, look."

I follow my kids voices and they seek for me, a glimmer of wonder and awe in there wide pupils. My 2 boys are pointing to the window in the living room. My sleeping child is now up, standing on her toes to see what her brothers are looking at.

As I begin to walk In the living room, they're rushing back to the kitchen. I take a peek and see a part of the lawn, including my rental car but the road and the neighborhood is gone. A large amount of visible debris is covering up the world around-

No.

No.

That's not debris. That's not wind.

I follow my kids. They've opened the screen door and ventured into the back yard. I race after them and stop in my tracks. The water barrier has followed us to the backyard. My kids are screaming and dancing in the sprinklers as the hurricane is trapping us in its second eye. The oceanic barrier is circling around is, refusing to touch the property. With my kids instructions I look up, the sky is dark above us like it's the dead of night, yet inside the barrier, its murky like a cloudy day.

I can't concentrate. Excitment. Curiosity. Shock. Chills.

I sigh as my daughter wobbles to me and I scoop her in my arms. I can see it now, worst hurricane in 6 years and the Crobitt house still stands. This is similar but not related to the instance when a pair of swings at the run down school across the house seemingly froze in the air a few years ago... CIA is currently investigating...

I gather my children inside, they were starting to go towards the rushing ocean and who knows what'll happen. I shut the door with a defeated sigh and sulk at the table. The beneits sit gracefully with their powder sugar and I worship it by stuffing it in my mouth.

"I told you..."

I look up. My mothers eyes are glowing that familiar bright green and she has that devious smirk on her face. She always gave me that look as a child as if she's trying to tell me something. That, or it's to prove something, which I still dont know. I dont think I ever will.

"...you're father built this house. No one is taking it from me..."

...

...

"Now, elbows off the table."

-------

If you like to write or be creative, perhaps you need inspiration, go check out this book! Its the best!

#neworleans #magic #voodoo #hurricane #Matriarch #tradition #fantasy #gumbo #raspberrypie #spirit #writethestory #writer #writting #piccadillyinc #originalpost

[equalseleventhirds]

i get why we dont see any other ways of categorizing fears in the podcast, but out of curiosity, what do you think other fear taxonomy's might be like?

i have actually given this very little thought bcos i am on that fear soup train and am coming up with stuff on the fly (if someone else has more thoughts PLEASE share i would LOVE it)

i do think that the development of ppl’s definitions of the fears would have, in most cases, happened organically (like folklore and mythology develop naturally over time). given the existence of........... certain philosophers, though, i’m sure there have been, if not scientific taxonomies (altho those too), then rly awful philosophical categorizations.

...aristotle. i’m saying aristotle made a REALLY BAD taxonomy based on not one iota of research, just his own fucking opinions. do i hate aristotle a lot YES OBVIOUSLY have you SEEN the garbage he came up with, he said that women must have fewer teeth than men bcos they��re ‘incomplete’ and i’m p sure one of the reasons he never checked is that any woman would have bitten him.

now as for like, fears that might be in other ppl’s fear lists (i am not going to make a full fear list, just some examples of what might be out there!)

i’ve talked before abt how fear of being othered (not encountering the Other, being the other, and experiencing the hatred of others bcos of that) and fear of powerlessness (not just being manipulated by an unseen force, altho that can be there too, but like of being forced into things by a force u very much can see as well) SHOULD be things, so like, those.

spiral and stranger overlap too much in smirke’s whole thing; yes, ‘uncanny valley’ fear is different from ‘your brain is wrong’ fear, but so much of the stranger has developed into ‘can’t believe your senses’ and so much of the spiral has turned into ‘things are Wrong’ that i think a lot of ppl would just. put em together. maybe there’s a list out there that’s a lot stricter abt separating uncanny valley out from the madness stuff, but also even that’s a bit difficult, when u get down to it.

slaughter and hunt? fuck it, violence. just violence. like yeah ok i will say that ‘war’ as portrayed by some of the more hardcore This Is War slaughter statements feels different from the very personal violence of the hunt (largely bcos those focus more on the horror of being forced to do violence when you don’t want to, or the horror of the results of war on a much larger scale), but the smaller-scale sudden violence of like, melanie when she had the bullet, or grifter’s bone? those did not feel radically different from like, murder club, or daisy. the large-scale horrors of war can maybe be separate in some taxonomies, but also not every culture through history would have experienced war on such a HUGE level.

(i think hunt would’ve been more interesting/easily separated from slaughter if it wasn’t entirely violence based? like, the fear of being chased is what should separate it out, but that’s not often the POINT. it’s sometimes the point. but other times it’s just fucking violence. did julia and trevor chase down max mustermann? no, they just attacked him. where is the LINE. there is no line it’s soup.)

just to annoy ol bobby smirke i think every other list should separate out bugs and disease. fuck it.

it’s been pointed out before by someone altho i cannot FIND it rn that vast and buried, while supposedly opposites, actually often feel very similar. i think the fear of being overwhelmed and made small, particularly by a force of nature... that could be just one thing, for some ppl. (yes there’s also buried of just being in rly small spaces but that also feels different than some of the buried statements that are About The Earth? hmmm.)

also i think nobody else uses spiders for manipulation. surely some ppl would lump spiders in with other bugs; some ppl would lump spiders in with being preyed upon; but the association with spiders and manipulation is weird! spiders are so much cooler than that AND ALSO none of the arachnophobes i have known (and i have known... a lot actually) were afraid of spiders manipulating them. what the fuck robert. what the fuck JONNY. mistreatment of spiders...

it’d also be fun to have like. a whole mythology of the fears that’s just demons. looking at you diego molina and ur ‘asag’. 

speaking of desolation, yeah i know that in canon we always get fear of loss/destruction with the fire imagery? but i think that’s just bcos we’re so often dealing with ppl with the same influences. i think it’d be fun for other cultures to have a different symbol of destruction. like, somewhere that sees a lot of monsoons or hurricanes? their destruction fear is water/storm based. somewhere with a lot of earthquakes? earth based. somewhere that just got through a massive plague? disease based (fuck arthur nolan specifically).

...speaking of destruction, is there a fear that ppl will come and take things from you, not to destroy them, just to take them? is there a fear based around that? i do not think there is and surely some culture must have one. like, ok, i guess there’s the rich person fear of that, but also for ppl in small, poor communities who were pillaged a lot or overtaxed by a corrupt ruler? i guess that falls under powerlessness but for a culture that didn’t develop a taxonomy with all of powerlessness lumped under one fear... this might either flavor their destruction/loss fear in a very different way than desolation, or define a new fear for them.

#finchcollector #fear soup #not precisely but it goes with the theory

[fan-clan-fun]

These cats are just a pair of siblings that I had a lot of fun working on. They are basically two sides of the same coin, foils to each other. They are members of a fan clan (I know, shocker) called HawkClan.

I apologise for any grammatical errors, weird sentence structures or anything like that, english isn’t my native language.

Wonderful! And no worries about the writing, Im always impressed by non-native english speakers and their impressive english, at least when compared to the other languages I myself supposedly speak. So let’s see what we have!

Adderstar: Massive, intimidating, a frightening foe. These are the words most cats would use to describe HawkClan’s young leader, Adderstar. But don’t let her physical appearance fool you, this huge tabby has an ever bigger, albeit squeamish heart!

Born into a litter of three, Adderkit was the biggest and strongest one. She would often be found rough housing with her two brothers and the other kits in the nursery. But with great power comes great responsibility. That’s a lesson Adderkit needed to be taught the hard way. During one of their usual play sessions she accidentally tackled one of her brothers, Shadowkit, violently, breaking one of his ribs which caused internal bleeding. Despite the medicine cat’s best efforts, Shadowkit passed away. After that, Adderkit refused to play with the other kits, especially if they were younger or smaller than her. Blazekit, angry with his sister and unable to cope with the loss of his brother, became cold, angry and distant. He now refuses to acknowledge Adderstar as anything more than a leader and lashes out at any cat who points out their obvious connection.

Interesting, Im curious about when she would have done this and how. Cats can do some serious damage, but to have the strength (unless it was aided by height or some other advantage) to cause a broken bone and internal bleeding would be quite difficult, not impossible, just difficult. But! Maybe an easier ( and even more heartwrenching) way it could have happened, was if their sibling got an infection when Adderkit played carelessly with claws out. It could have made Adderkit much more careful of how she fought. That said, I really do like this motivation, and either way if you wish to keep it, would make for a compelling character development.

Moons passed, but memories of her brother kept haunting the she-cat, even when she started her apprenticeship. Darkstar, the former leader, having seen her potential and her struggles, decided to mentor the young cat himself. Both cats were insanely stubborn, refusing to acknowledge the faults of their ways; Darkstar, too focused on battle tactics and strength, and Adderpaw, afraid of her own power and abilities. The two cats clashed on multiple occasions, but Darkstar wasn’t known for giving up a challenge. He realized that the best motivation for Adderpaw was the pain of others. He would often put himself, sometimes other cats, in dangerous situations that would require immediate action from Adderpaw to solve. This is why Adderstar is so good at fighting badgers, according to some cats. Slowly but surely, the two started to understand and trust each other.

See I like the dynamic between Darkstar and Adderpaw.... but I dont think it would be either wise  or realistic that a clan leader would allow either themselves or clanmates into a potentially dangerous situation just to encourage an apprentice. Maybe if it wasnt actually dangerous, but it would be a bit odd to put the responsibility on an apprentice to save the day, when it would be the leader’s job to do that. Unless... well I’ll address it below.

Many moons later, Adderfang was made deputy, instead of Blazestep, whom many cats regarded as the best warrior in HawkClan. This widened the rift between the two siblings even more. Adderfang never thought of becoming a leader. She just wanted to fulfill her warrior duties and get her mind off her brother’s death. She didn’t want to be a leader, she had no need for more worries.

So I do think it is very odd that Adderfang would have been chosen as deputy when the rest of the clan regarded their sibling better. That said, you could argue that Darkstar’s actions in her apprenticeship (reckless self endargerment and potential endangerment of others) and then choosing her as deputy over other better liked candidates, could point to nepotism or serious character flaws. I feel like there is more going on with Darkstar that might need to be addressed for this to work. Not impossible, but an interesting conundrum.

“He has the heart and passion of a Bear. You have the strength and clarity of a Hawk.” That was all Darkstar said. Adderfang understood none of that. Strength? Well, she had that. And what good did that bring her? Death and sadness, nothing more. Clarity? All her life, she knew nothing, but confusion. What is her place in her clan? Does a murderer even deserve a place to call home? She tried to pry Darkstar for more; she needed reasons, true reasons, not baseless statements. But Darkstar wouldn’t say more. He’d just smile, like he knew something that no other cat did. “You’ll understand one day, mousebrain.”

But even after standing on the shores of the High Lake (A/N: it’s just a big, icy lake, this is where deputies are made leaders under the full moon), even after becoming Adderstar, she still couldn’t quite grasp what those words meant.

Im curious what those words mean too, I feel like there could be some background spiritual stuff going on.

Blazestep: HawkClan’s finest warrior. And also it’s angriest one, this jet black cat is one scorching inferno. He’s brash, aggressive, and he’s not afraid of showing his fangs or unsheathing his claws. How does one small, frightened kit grow up to be a walking volcano, ready to erupt at any moment?

His brother’s death hit Blazekit harder than any blow from a cat ever could. Shadowkit was the only kit willing to play with the weakling Blazekit. All the others would mock or turn their backs on him. And, playing with Adderkit was just plain sad. Even as a young kit, Blazekit could see that Adderkit was going easy on him. Never once did she shove him too hard, bit or scratched him playfully. What’s worse, she even pretended to be hurt when Blazekit tackled her or batted at her with his tiny paws. Blazekit hated all of it. He hated Adderkit and her pity, he hated the disgusted and mocking looks of the other kits. Shadowkit was the only other cat he could confide in.

And then Shadowkit was stripped away from him, by Adderkit of all cats. Blazekit was truly alone now.

Sounds like a lonely and frustrated kit, poor guy.

Adderkit tried to reconnect with him, but he rejected her pitiful attempts. It’s not like Adderkit made such a tremendous effort either: whenever Blazekit would confront her, she’d just avert her gaze, murmur something and leave with her tail drooping. Blazekit hated it. He hated how Adderkit couldn’t face the truth, how she couldn’t, no, didn’t take responsibility for her strength. Instead of realizing the power in her paws, she just hid away from it. Blazekit hated it.

Moons went by, and soon, it was Blazepaw’s turn to prove himself. His mentor, Nettlemoon was the exact opposite of the fiery tom. Nettlemoon tried to teach the young cat patience, but Blazepaw would have none of it. Despite this, he was an outstanding apprentice; he could execute most moves with ease and with little practice and he was excellent at predicting his opponent’s next move. He was just bad at catching squirrels.

But being good wasn’t enough for Blazepaw, he wanted to be the best. He’d train long and hard after nightfall, when the clan was asleep, often overworking and injuring himself. He had to get stronger. No cat will make fun of him anymore, he’ll make sure of that.

So at this point I really worry for this apprentice, and worry that neither his mentor of the clan around him seemed to notice his struggle. I cant imagine that his mentor wouldnt have noticed his injuries and addressed them. He may be hot headed and determined to be the best, but there is only so much he can get away with before he should have consequences. Then again, if you do continue with the thread of Darkstar putting himself in danger, I suppose an absent mentor wouldnt be entirely unrealistic for the clan.

He was Blazestep now, but his goals never changed. And he was going to make it. He could already see Darkstar appointing him as deputy. He could see all of those mocking glares turn into quick, wary glances filled with fear. He could see himself standing on top of The Ruins (A/N: a place for the leaders to stand during clan meetings, it’s just an old church overgrown with weeds and trees), fur blowing in the wind, looking down at HawkClan. He could see himself racing towards battle, his clan at his back and Shadowkit at his side.

And then it was stripped away from him, by none other than Adderfang.

So I am curious about why the clan ended up liking (or at least respecting) Blazestep more than Adderfang, at least that was what I understood since it seemed he was considered a better warrior by the clan. He does seem to have a lot of anger issues to work out, so with your explanation of his character it makes a bit more sense that his sister is deputy, but I feel like there is a disconnect between your personal discussion of the siblings personalities and how the clan perceives them. Maybe its just a case of unreliable narrator. Is Blazestep really sneaky, and hides his true anger problems and ambition? I suppose if he was clever enough as an apprentice, and didnt push himself too far he might have been able to pull the wool over his mentor’s eyes, but he would have to be very clever and careful not to injure or tire himself so much that it would affect the rest of his training. 

Anyway, I hope I didnt sound too critical, but these characters are very interesting and compelling, interesting enough that I was quite invested in them! I hope to see how you decide to write them in the end!

So, yeah, these two are the main duo of HawkClan. Sorry for the long read, I got pretty carried away while writing.

#warrior cats #non-canon clans #warriors OC #warriorsworldbuilding #submission

[sammie-skele-turtle-blog]

This is a story about a run down, insecure Tony, and a helping, at first bad, but very soon awesome bro Steve. Set in an AU where winter soldier and civil war doesn't or hasn't happened yet.

Tonys had a rough day. First his morning meeting turns into a " Let's bash Tony session ". Next, he had a old, grudgful reporter give a false report on him supposedly being seen walking around drunk, yelling profanities and all the most horribly inappropriate comments at everyone. Men, women, and children alike. ( How cliche is that? ) Of course people believed her.. And it just terrifies him to think what the avengers will say and do. He had a LITERAL angry mob after him. ( Which he luckily escaped. Even more cliche ) The one good hotdog vender wouldn't sell to him ( which is worse considering he hasn't eaten in four days ) . Then, THEN, People had the nerve, the gull to call him the worst possible words under the sun. ( Revenge for what they thought he did. )

The sad thing is? He believes them. He believes every word and believes he deserves it.

So now he's trudging back to his tower, people mumbling and snickering. Tony's posture was slumped, but he still wore his usual obnoxious glasses. Just so no one questioned anything.

Someone sticks their foot out in front of him, and being lost in thought, ( thinking of all the upgrades and projects for SI, S.H.I.E.L.D, and the avengers instead of food and sleep ), he trips. He can't catch himself. He falls down ungracefully, a 'oof' escaping him. People laugh. " Pfft, wow, can't even catch himself when falling? Some hero. Why do they keep him around anyway? He's just a glorified engineer! " Someone says, causing more snickers and scoffs to erupt.

Tony had to bite his lip to hold in his sigh of resignation. It was true. Thats all he was. And honestly, he was just waiting for them to realize that, to leave him.

Tony stands up without a word, and keeps walking. His shoulders are a bit higher up in a slump than before. He could usually keep up his mask a bit more easily, but he hasn't slept in 78 hours, his stomach ached from being so empty, people have been hating him MORE than usual, which he honestly thought was impossible.

Tony soon arrives at the tower. He sighs to himself. ' Suck it up! People go threw worse everyday! Your fine. Just get to the lab. You'll be fine.. ' Tony thinks. He goes threw the door, and to the elevator. " Hello Sir. " Jarvis instantly greets. Tony smiles slightly. " Hey J. Take me to the lab.. K? " Tony says. There's silience, almost as if he's hesitating, before Jarvis says " I must advise against that Sir.. You haven't eaten in approximately 80 hours, and haven't slept in 78. I advise you get some food, then head to bed.. "

Tony chuckles. Funny. An AI cares for him more then actual people.. " J. I can't sleep yet. I still have work to do.. I can't slack now. Besides, if I don't finish up, I'll NEVER get out of this consulting job.. " Yes. Tony was never told he was a full Avenger now, and knowing S.H.I.E.D, if they dont say your something, your not that something. So he believed he was still a consultant. " But I'll go grab an apple. Just for you. " Tony says.

" Very good Sir " Jarvis says, though there's still a underline of concern. " Alright, up to the common floor. " Tony says. The elevator moves, and withen a moment, the elevator comes to a gentle stop. " Thanks J. " Tony says. " Of course Sir " Jarvis says, as the elevator doors open. He steps out, the door instantly closing behind him.

His lifted ( hah, get it? Lifted? Elevator? Hahaha- ok I'll shut up ) mood caused by Jarvis instantly drops to dread, anxiety, maybe even fear, as he sees Steve. To make matters worse, he was watching the news.. And the ding from the elevator alerted him that he was there. Steve turns to him. He gulps slightly, shuffling on his feet.

" Sta.. Tony.. " Steve says. He avoids sounding harsh, after seeing the usually ( seemingly ) confident man practically radiating nervousness. " I need an explanation.. " Tony gulps again. " Is it true..? Did you REALLY act so stupidly and irresponsibility that you'd get drunk, go out, and yell inappropriate profanities at everyone? I mean I know you got drunk in your suit before but.. God, Tony, This is ridiculous! " Steve says ' He believes it.. Of course he would! Its your fault anyway, you've always made horrible decisions, there just finally catching up to you. ' Tony thinks. Tony doesn't know what to say. Would Steve believe him if he said no? Steve sighs. " I'll take that as a yes.. Geez, what were you thinking? I thought you were over that kind of stuff. I guess I was wrong. " Steve says, his dissapointment coming off him in waves.

Tony HATES when one of them were disappointed with him, it was horrible. Now usually Bruce would jump to his defense, but he was with Betty. Thor was in Asgard, and Clint and Natasha were on a mission assigned by S.H.I.E.L.D, so they were completly out of question.

Tony whimpers quietly. A small tremor travels threw him. God he was just so exhausted! He couldn't take it much longer..

Sadly Steve hadn't noticed yet. " When are you going to grow up and stop acting like a spoiled brat? We don't need this at the moment, Tony. I mean, honestly, it's a suprise you haven't been reprimanded yet! I didn't want to believe them when they said we only needed the suit, but I'm starting to- "

A sob interrupts him, shocking the Shield weilding hero. Instead of being met with a sarcastic comment, he sees Tony trembling. The tremors are so obvious now, tears escaping and cascading their way down his cheeks. " I.. I didn't do that! I swear, I'd never do that again. I haven't drank since I messed up at my birthday party! I'd, I wouldn't.. " A sob stops him from finishing.

Steve takes a moment to examine him. He notices, with a jolt of shock, just how tired, vulnerable he looks now. The bags under his eyes seem to almost darken. His shoulders were slumped, shaking from his cries. He's noticeably quite frail looking as well. ' When was the last time he slept? Or ate for that matter? ' Steve thinks.

Tony gathers himself enough to continue " I-I haven't even gone out much! I've only been going to my- " Tony takes a staggering breath. His heart was racing. " Missions, my meetings, interviews about what happened on our missions. I've been in the lab, upgrading our weapons and my armor, doing projects for the company, S.H.I.E.L.D, and the Avengers, I wouldn't even have time for that. God, Steve, Please.. I didn't do that! I wouldn't mess up now, when it actually seems like I could quit being just a consultant and be a real avenger.." It was finally out. It slipped out.

Now Steve's confused " But.. You ARE an Avenger Tony. " Steve says. Tony shakes his head rapidly. " No, no just a consultant, M'not a Avenger.. " Tony says, as another cry interrupts him. Shock runs threw Steve once more. ' What? But.. God. He must be so stressed. No wonder he's isolated himself lately. He thinks he has to prove himself or something. He's more of a team player than I thought.. God he looks so worn down.. ' Steve thinks. Tony continues, obviously taking Steve's silence in a bad way

" I swear, I'll fix this, I'll work extra hard, I'll act better, but I swear I didn't do that! This, this reporter had a grudge from when I ruined her report when I-I accidentally flew into the camera after getting, after getting thrown at her by that weird robot last month.. " Tony says. He's so desperate to fix this.

" Please just, just don't be dissapointed, I know its my fault she's mad but Im gonna fix it, I- "

" Stop " Steve finally says, having his gut feel like it was punched enough today. Tony shuts his mouth, a small ' Click ' coming from his teeth. He noticably panics slightly. The look of fear, panic and shame that was in his eyes reflected perfectly on his face. Steve felt horrible, the fear shining in his eyes was his most noticeable emotion, and god Steve couldn't take looking at his kicked puppy dog eyes anymore! Tony started to try and splutter out another apology, another explanation to correct his wrong, wiping furiously at his tears as his breath speeds up slightly, before Steve interrupts him.

" Tony, I shouldn't have suspected that you'd do that. You've obviously cleaned yourself up, and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions when you didn't answer. Your obviously drowning in responsibility, some that shouldn't be on your shoulders. I shouldn't have brought up the suit, you deserve that, you built it in a CAVE, and we need you. Your the only one who can fly that suit, monuver and control and fight like you do, and most importantly your our friend. God, how have I not noticed how worn down you are? " Steve asks

" I-its not your job to notice.. " Tony mumbles, obviously trying to reassure Steve. Usually something like that would have warmed Steve's heart, but all it did was bring more guilt, and it just made Tony look more pitiful because he was plain as day still ashamed and panicked and afraid but instead of focusing on himself, he was focusing on Steve. ' I can't believe I ever thought he was selfish.. Even with his masks maybe if I'd payed attention instead of just thinking I knew him from first impressions.. '

Tony seemed to notice Steve's momentary mental termoil, and the panic and shame heighten slightly. " Steve, I'm sorry, really, but I-you shouldn't- " No, I should! I'm your leader, your friend, even if I haven't been the best one to you lately. I should be watching over how you are and how your doing. I always have with the others, but I was biased and just assumed the great Tony Stark wouldn't

need my help. That you'd blow off my concern with the most disrespectful comments I've ever heard come out of a man. "

Tony flinches slightly at that, and looks down. " I'm, I'm sor- " Steve interrupts him before he can apologize. " But I was wrong. I should have watched you more closely. Your a citizen Tony. A genius with a arc reactor and a battle ready armor with billions of dollars but a citizen none the less. You weren't trained for this, and I should have known. I should have seen something was wrong.. God Tony I'm so sorry. " Steve says.

Tony goes to tell him its fine, that he shouldn't worry about it because its normal. Because he's used to it so why worry? And besides he's pretty sure Steve wasn't exactly trained for this stuff either. Although, Steve does something then that totally surprises and catches him off gaurd. Steve hugs him. Its.. Nice. Warm and full of worry and unspoken apologies. So of course Tony hugs him back. He knows he doesn't deserve it and that he should back off but he can't. " We'll fix this. I promise. You don't have to keep working, I'll help you out.. And I'll make sure everyone knows the truth. " Tony tightens his grip in the hug.. ' Was he really willing.. '

" Now.. How long has it been since you've ate and slept? " Steve asks, remembering very well how frail and run down Tony looks at the moment.

Before Tony can lie himself out, because even with their previous touching moment he's sure Steve will become aggravated or SOMETHING, but of course, cutting him off, Jarvis says " Sir hasn't eaten in approximately 80 hours, and hasn't slept in 78. I suggest sitting him down, making some food, and making sure sir relaxes. " " Traitor.. " Tony mumbles. He glances up at Steve sheepishly, and can't help the relief washing over him as Steve snickers, instead of rolling his eyes, or worse, pushing him away in exasperation, as others have done.

Steve leads Tony to the couch, an arm still hung around Tony's shoulders. " Put on a movie. I'll make some food. What would you like? " " Grilled cheese " Tony instantly responds. " Aren't you- " " Your NEVER to old for grilled cheese!.. And put some tomatoes in it please..? " Tony says, his sheepish feeling swirling in his tone. Steve chuckles at his small outburst.

" Sure Tony.. " Steve says. He walks to the kitchen, and prepares his and Tony's food. When he walks back, Tony is watching a movie. He turned on Wall-e. Luckily Steve already knew this movie. " Disney? " Steve says. " Once again. Never to old " Tony says, as he grabs his sandwich with a nod and smile of gratitude.

After ten minutes, Tony says " Hey Steve.. Don't tell Fury I was slacking off.. OK? " Tony mumbles. Steve freezes. " Slacking..? " He looks over at Tony, and sees the way the man tenses up. " Well, I, uh, kinda had some projects I needed to get done for S.H.I.E.L.D. There's new blue prints for the engine and propellers, they've been really loud lately, and they've been stuttery, then they need new training bots, and the criminals almost got out of the cells to I need to figure out a way to reenforce those and make sure theres no time lapse when they close the cell door, and- " " When are they due? " Steve asks. " What..? " Tony asks, oh so very intelligently. " When are they due? The projects? " Tony noticably gulps slightly, and lowers his head. " Tomorrow.. " Tony mumbles, so quietly that Steve only heard thanks to his enhanced hearing. A small tinge of Tony's earlier feelings return. Before Tony can go into another panicked explanation, Steve says " Were there other projects? And not just for S.H.E.I.L.D. " Steve asks. Tony pauses to think. " Um.. Well.. 10.. This week.. The uh, ones I was just mentioning would have added to the list.. " Steve let's out a small huff. " Sure Tony, I won't tell. " Tony lets out a sigh of relief. " Thanks. " Yep, him and Fury were gonna have WORDS.

Thirty minutes later Tony was passed out. Steve picks up the plates, and sets them in the sink. He'd clean them later. " Hey Jarvis, turn off the movie OK? And get the elevator ready.. I'm bringing Tony up to his room. " " Thank you, Sir " Jarvis says. Steve honestly still questioned how he got so used to Jarvis. And how a computer program could sound so concerned..

Steve walks back into the living room, and lifts Tony up bridal style, since he figured that would be the most comfortable position. Tony mumbles something about AI's and a grumpy toaster who doesn't like frozen waffles, causing another chuckle to erupt in Steve. He walks over to the opened elevator doors, and goes threw them. Once in, Steve feels the elevator go up. When the doors open, Steve walks into Tony's room, and sets him on his bed, pulling the blanket over him, right after taking off his shoes. Tony rolls onto his side. " Than's Stebe.. " Tony mumbles groggily. Steve smiles. " Ya.. Your welcome Tony. " Steve says, ruffling his hair, and he leaves his room.

Steve feels his chest warm slightly when he turns his head to see Tony sleeping soundly. He was happy, he finally understood what was going on. He saw a side of Tony that few get to see. This would definitely help the team dinamic, and his friendship with Tony. Yeah, so now, he's definitely planning out how he'll fix all the recent wrongs done on Tony.

And ya know, if suddenly Tony had less work on his agenda, and less hate mail and passages in articles centering on the smallest things he did, if suddenly the reporter admitted she lied and was soon fired, if Steve and Tony suddenly were closer friends, if suddenly Fury laid off him a bit.. And if suddenly the guy who had tripped and said those horrible things to him suddenly came up to him with a nervous apology as Steve stood behind him with a comforting hand on his shoulder and a blazing glare set on the guy..

Well, none of them mentioned it.

OK so, first off, I'm not saying this would happen. I'm not saying Tony would react like this. I know strong people break down in stressed situations, so I went off that. This is purely self indulgent, so please don't be rude and make hateful comments. I'm sorry for any errors. I hope you enjoyed :)

Also, please do not repost and say you wrote this story, please say I wrote this story. Do not tag this as a shipment between the two. This is meant to show them as FRIENDS. Thanks you.

HEY GUYS I EDITED AND MADE IT LONGER AND ALITTLE BETTER ITS STILL CRAP BUT ITS BETTER XD

#tony needs a hug #he had a bad day #jarvis is awesome #not steve bashing #obvious by the second half #steve is an amazing bro #sleepy tony #insecure tony #worried tony #hungry tony #tony gets tooken care of #and tucked in #jarvis is pleased #yay!!

[fraggle-batches]

Because these are fun

1:Full name: Not comfortable sharing that

2:Zodiac sign: Libra 

3:3 fears: ladders, loneliness

4:3 things I love: my cats and boyfriend and laptop and dogs

5:4 turn on’s: tattoos, good hair, smoking, choking, hickeys

6:4 turn off’s: trump supporters

7:My best friend: my boyfriend

8:Sexual orientation: pansexual

9:My best first date: went to a concert (styg, stray from the path, knocked loose), was soo much fun, and also my first concert with a s/o

10:How tall am I: 5′7

11:What do I miss: my nana, being confident in myself and those around me

12:What time was I born? like 5:30 am 

13:Favorite color? grey

14:Do I have a crush? on my boyfriend, and cole sprouse

15:Favorite quote? “

16:Favorite place? Algonquin park

17:Favorite food? Pizza

18:Do I use sarcasm? Never

19:What am I listening to right now? Flaked Season 2 on Netflix

20:First thing I notice in new person? Shoes, hair, actions

21:Shoe size? Women’s 9.5, Mens 8.5

22:Eye color? Shit brown :))

23:Hair color? Naturally: Brown, Currently: Blonde, Previously: Pink

24: Favorite style of clothing? Uhm idk like casual/skate/dude clothes

25:Ever done a prank call? When I was like 11, but i grew tf up

26:What color of underwear I’m wearing now? I’m not..

27:Meaning behind my URL? Lord of the Rings (on a comedy video)

28:Favorite movie? ^

29:Favorite song? 

30:Favorite band? Don’t know, either The Wonder Years, Pink Floyd, The Tragically Hip

31:How I feel right now? Kinda shitty

32:Someone I love. Aaron

33:My current relationship status. In a relationship, one year at the end of the month.

34:My relationship with my parents. Was pretty fucked up for a while, I got kicked out and shit but now we’re civil and they buy me stuff to suck up for the shit they put me through/

35:Favorite holiday. 

36:Tattoos and piercing I have. I have my nose pierced, three 18g holes p/ear and one 10mm hole p ear.

37:Tattoos and piercing I want. I want to get a second nose piercing, maybe a septum, and my 10mm holes are going up to 22mm as we speak, I also intend to get an assload of tattoos when I’m no longer broke.

38:The reason I joined Tumblr. Joined it when I was like 12.. so I don’t know, just because it was ANOTHER form of social media for me to have.

39:Do I and my last ex hate each other? I hate him because he’s a rapist piece of shit and I’m sure he doesn’t even think of me so.

40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? No.

41:Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? Idek who the last person I texted was.

42:When did I last hold hands? Last night

43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Depends what my hairs like, if it’s good, then 15 mins, if it’s shit then 35mins.

44:Have I shaved my legs in the past three days? Yeah

45: Where am I right now? On the couch at my boyfriends grandparents.

46:If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Maybe my boyfriend, maybe a nurse 

47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No

49:Am I excited for anything? I’m going to see Roger Waters in October and I’m moving in 1-3 months.

50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? My boyfriend.

51:How often do I wear a fake smile? Often.

52:When was the last time I hugged someone? Earlier today I think

53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I’d fucking leave him and move alone and go back to fucking instead of dating (other people obv)

54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Maybe

55:What is something I disliked about today? Got into a couple pissing matches with the boy.

56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Gord Downie

57:What do I think about most? The amount of debt I’m in

58:What’s my strangest talent? Licking my nose maybe?

59:Do I have any strange phobias? I don’t know..

60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind all the way

61:What was the last lie I told? “I don’t want anything to eat rn”

62:Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? NEITHER

63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts: no. Spirits: Yes. Aliens: no, Extra-terrestrial life on another planet potentially in a different solar system: Yes.

64:Do I believe in magic? No

65:Do I believe in luck? I don’t know

66:What’s the weather like right now? Shitty, cloudy, cold, and dark

67:What was the last book I’ve read? The Handbook of Human Sexuality

68:Do I like the smell of gasoline? Uhh yeah

69:Do I have any nicknames? -----

70:What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Probably when I fractured my skull as a kid. Or the two times I broke my clavicle in the SAME spot like 3 years apart lmao.

71:Do I spend money or save it? I’m a compulsive spender

72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Yep

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? I don’t think so

74:Favorite animal? Elephant maybe

75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Same thing as I’m doing now basically... fuck all

76:What do I think Satan’s last name is? He doesn’t have one/exist

77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? I believe by Stevie Wonder

78:How can you win my heart? Be a decent person and show the fucking world that I’m yours and you’re mine.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? “fuck all you cunts from my hometown”

80:What is my favorite word? cunt

81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr? nah

82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? “stop polluting, kill trump, learn how to give a girl good head, end world hunger, adopt dont shop, support everyone regardless, cherish each other”

83:Do I have any relatives in jail? I don’t think so, but maybe

84:I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? To be able to like pause life and be the only one who isn’t paused but I don’t age on pause so it’s chill. Or to turn off my bad emotions whenever I want

85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? I don’t know, I;m pretty open

86:What is my current desktop picture? My dog 

87:Had sex? Daily

88:Bought condoms? Hate them, but yeah

89:Gotten pregnant? No

90:Failed a class? Yeah

91:Kissed a boy? Yeah

92:Kissed a girl? Yeah

93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yeah

94:Had job? Yeah

95:Left the house without my wallet? The worst!!

96:Bullied someone on the Internet? No... well maybe this one stupid piece of shit that raped my friend, posted her nude pics on a porn website and harasses her to this day. But I think that’s with warrant to bully so idc

97:Had sex in public? In a few places...

98:Played on a sports team? Other than school, no

99:Smoked weed? Daily

100:Did drugs? some

101:Smoked cigarettes? Yep

102:Drank alcohol? Yep

103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Used to be 

104:Been overweight? Currently am

105:Been underweight? Yep

106:Been to a wedding? Yep

107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Most of the time

108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yep

109:Been outside my home country? Yep

110:Gotten my heart broken? Sort of

111:Been to a professional sports game? No

112:Broken a bone? Skull, elbow, clavicle x 2, wrist x3, most of my toes, both my thumbs, my left ring finger, my ankle, and foot.

113:Cut myself? Used to

114:Been to prom? Fuck prom

115:Been in airplane? Yep

 116: Fly by helicopter? No

117:What concerts have I been to? To name a few (not even close to 1/4 of them: The wonder Years x4, Moose Blood x2, Neck Deep, Real Friends x3, Modern Baseball x3, Knocked Loose, Stick to Your Guns, etc...

118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yep

119:Learned another language? Started to learn german, dropped it. Spoke some french but I’m rusty.

120:Wore make up? Most days

121:Lost my virginity before I was 18? Way before I was 18

122:Had oral sex? Yeah

123:Dyed my hair? Every few months for the last like 4-5 years

124:Voted in a presidential election? Not yet.. 2019 here I come

125:Rode in an ambulance? No

126:Had a surgery? Small one

127:Met someone famous? A few people.. Dan Campbell from the Wonder Years being one of them

128:Stalked someone on a social network? In an innocent-ish “what the fuck is my boyfriend doing liking your slutty pics” stalking

129:Peed outside? Yep

130:Been fishing? Yep

131:Helped with charity? Yep

132:Been rejected by a crush? No

133:Broken a mirror? Yep

134:What do I want for birthday? A camera

135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 2-3. Nora, Avalyn, and idk maybe Declan, Jax, Quinn?

136:Was I named after anyone? No

137:Do I like my handwriting? Sometimes

138:What was my favorite toy as a child? Pogs, Pokemon Cards, Idk I mostly read books

139:Favorite TV Show? Shameless is lit

140:Where do I want to live when older? I don;t know yet, used to be Alaska but the US is fucked rn

141:Play any musical instrument? A little piano, tried guitar

142:One of my scars, how did I get it? one on my hand is shaped like a dick.. i stuck my hand in a fire to get a cigarette that dropped when i was drunk and burned the fuck outta my hand, when it scarred the center got prominent, and dick shaped

143:Favorite pizza topping? Bacon

144:Am I afraid of the dark? No

145:Am I afraid of heights? A little

146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yeah, I’ve been caught sneaking out and smoking pot and getting drunk when I was supposedly studying or having a quiet movie night in

147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? All the time

148:What I’m really bad at. Life, keeping my temper in check

149:What my greatest achievements are. I graduated high school, and got into college and university

150:The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me. “fat homewrecking bitch”.. but it wasn’t the truth

151:What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Pay off my debt and adopt a load of animals in need

152:What do I like about myself? I got some nice eyelashes, and a nice rack

153:My closest Tumblr friend. ------

154:Something I fantasies about. Cole Sprouse 

155:Any question you’d like -------