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obihoe · 2 years

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also like not to keep posting about the same things over and over but i cant stop thinking about madara and hashiramas last interactions before hashirama stabbed him .. and specifically i mean their conversation in front of the uchiha monument, where madara told him about his struggles with not having been able to save his brother, not being able to keep his promise to him to protect the clan either .. how nobody among them supported him and also one thing i think is so striking is the way that he was like "you call me ur brother but who would u be ready to sacrifice for the village? tobirama or me?" .. and obviously hashirama ended up sacrificing madara and tobirama even became hokage after him its like ughh .. so heartbreaking to think about. and i mean madara was so right in what he thought of tobirama, his policies did end up worsening the issues with the uchiha in the village, not that many years later it got so bad it all ended in literal genocide like .. its like so crazy and tragic but hashirama wasnt able to see that which idk how much u can really blame him for that cuz tobirama was his brother, he trusted him to do the right thing. it probably comes down to his optimistic nature in general as well like with the villagers, too, he was like "no, we can solve this, the villagers will see what i see in you, im sure they'll end up supporting u!" which like .. no. they wont. and madara knew that.

to me i think whats most heartbreaking about that whole conversation is the way that hashirama is clearly Trying to understand him like even when madara has that little moment of madness come thru when he looks at him and says "beyond that dream, there's another dream" which is like .. a clear sign that there's smth wrong with him, a sign that he's already on his way downwards at that point like that alien madness shit has already taken hold of him and he's in SO much distress bc of it cuz remember he just read that there is no hope for peace or understanding ever out there which he years and years later claims as smth that made him fall into the depths of despair .. but he cant tell hashirama about it, all he can do is drop these like really weird hints that just serve to further alienate him from hashirama who clearly Wants to help him but he cant .. idk something about that is just so tragic to me cuz like i wonder what wouldve happened if madara had told him the whole truth right then and there, would that have changed anything?

if he had told him about the story w kaguya and the godtree, about the infinite tsukuyomi .. would hashirama have been able to talk him out of it? or would that just have been so like .. out there that it wouldve just alienated him even further? thinking about his reaction to madaras ultimatum before they founded the village i tend to think that he would have taken him srsly. he always Wanted to understand him and im sure he wouldve tried to help him, im sure he wouldve felt for him and tried convincing him otherwise. but then again like the problems with the village would still have been there, madara still wouldve been the outcast there and that very fact would still have continuously reinforced that belief about peace being impossible. its the most blatant example of that, that part of the writing really like .. wasnt even a lie like years and years after that the shinobi would still keep fighting and killing each other like there IS some truth to the whole concept of chakra being a curse on humanity. i think madara was probably right. telling hashirama about all of that wouldnt have changed anything, he was already doomed at that point

#posts #naruto #madara #hashirama #long post

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survivorwakea · 5 years

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Episode 9: “Anabel back on her crackhead bullshit.” -Asya

Justin going out after getting a self-vote. Don't trust anyone, not even yourself.

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ZACK FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL. ZACK FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL. ZACK FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL.

Me, Ben, Elmo and Zack were on a call and we all did an idol search and ZACK FOUND IT AND I SCREAMED AND ITS 3AM BUT I DONT CARE ZACK HAS A MOTHERFUCKING IDOL.

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Oh sweet fucking jesus.

So I get off call with Elmo, Ben and Zack and Zack is like hieee can we call? and im like okay? I have absolutely no idea what to expect at all. He's like I have something to tell u, at this point I'm like fuck this sounds like bad bad news or good news but idk if im mentally stable enough to handle either. He tells me he has the fucking premerge idol and that he got it on his first run. I'm sat there basically starting to cry like oh my god zack I cannot believe this right now. and he's like no there's more. My stomach fucking drops. He tells me Elmo knows as well. I'm like ok sis what the fuck. He had to tell Elmo because it was his first go and him and Elmo were sharing guesses. Okay I guess I understand. But he also said something like Elmo said not to tell me. Which really does have me thinking. I thought me and Elmo had a lot more open communication now, and the fact he didn't want to tell me something like this is a reason as to why I have been hesitant to talk game with him. But according to Zack he also said he doesn't think I would leak so maybe he was just thinking about not wanting too many people to know. I need to have a chat with Elmo tomorrow so we can clear some stuff up so I can know better where I stand, or just have Elmo lie to my face which I end up finding out later down the line when he inevitably tries to vote me out again. But oh how ironic it would be if I could convince Zack to use the idol on me to get Elmo out. Please note ~ I don't dislike Elmo, in fact I adore him. I just see me and him as very similar players and therefore I feel he would be one of my main competitions especially as this game gets further on. I just have a lot of feelings and a lot of things to discuss right now

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I've had so much to think about the last couple hours my mind is spinning. Justin voted out because of his own dumbass move to tell Johnny about his self-vote, like that's not a death wish waiting to happen. Hell I would've been on board with voting Justin had I known. He was a clear threat but I was planning on waiting 1 more tribal before trying to get him out. I was lied to by a lot of people, maybe 2 tribals in a row now which leaves me shaking and scrambling. Where the fuck do I stand with any of these people? Zack who I adore with all my heart where do I stand with you baby? I know you said you would use your idols on me and help get us both to the final. But I am scared, I am so so scared you could be lying to me. You said it yourself earlier you are so used to lying to people in this game that if someone asked if your name was Zack, you'd tell them it wasn't. I think it would hurt me more if you told me about your premerge idol and said you'd get us both to the end and then voted me out more than if you never told me anything at all. Did you tell me this because you're worried about your position or because you genuinely meant it? Remember I could be on the jury. Asya, my sweetness in this game. We didn't talk for a full day after Joey got voted out. It was only when I decided to own up to the fact I wrote her name down tonight that we opened a discussion and I feel we cleared the air a bit, both of us felt we had no choice when writing down each other's names. I hope things improve between us and we can work together again, however you have appeared to be inactive which kind of scares me. Johnny having kept the vote of Justin from me after I told him I felt I wasn't being listened to with the people I was aligned with has kinda rubbed me the wrong way since I very heavily hinted I wanted Justin out, but you can't be sayin those kinda things to people you're aligned with cause they could so easily turn on you. Although I had mentioned it to Zack and I think Zack would've been down as well so that was my plan for a couple tribals ahead. Do you really want to work with me or has this all been lies? Ben I do not trust as far as I can throw him right now. After Zack gets the idol he conveniently says he forgot to mention that he landed on one of the bonus spots on the way to the idol and got an extra vote. Okay bitch boy how the fuck does that just accidentally slip your mind? Do not trust one bit right now, once he realises he's on the bottom he's definitely gonna flee like fuck. Has a soothing voice though, I enjoy being on call. He's kinda funny, even if he does make Zack mad by the fact he's getting comfortable with us and calling us bitches. Bodhi is just a lying fucker and I want him out ASAP, he should've been the person we got out or at least tried to instead of Asya but whatever, there's always next time. Lily I have no idea what the fuck is going on in her head right now, she messaged me with some half hearted apology and then wants to create a group of people to work together but when I asked who she wanted to involve she has just ignored me, whatever your time will be up soon enough unless I try to drag u to the end with me so I have a goat since I haven't seen u do much other than win like 1 immunity challenge. Jared I wanna work with but idk how much trust is there, plus he's a strong player and I feel could do well so I want him out kinda soon oopsie. But who knows, if we start working together maybe it's something that could work out for us. Sometimes competition is good. Anabel a cutie but also a massive liability, never know what's going on with her and where she truly stands with anyone. I wish she would just be properly up front with me about who she's close with. Wish she spoke more game to me than she actually does. Elmo I've already wrote down a lot about how I feel about you but ya I love u so much I just think you're such a threat to me and there could be a vote where if it's not you that goes home it will be me. Also where the fuck do I stand with you? Are you being open with me? It'd crush me if you weren't I've been trying this game with you I really have. This is long and turned into something I didn't expect it to be and its like 5am so I need sleep. So much has gone on and I've so much to think about I don't even know where to turn right now.

i manifested that, right.. like.. i literally JUST said in my last confessional how me and chloe eventually wanted justin out and then it happened.. now, it didn't go how i would have wanted it to go, but it still went.. would i have loved to be part of that plan? duh. but i think justin leaving might be a blessing in disguise. or a huge curse. i guess we'll have to wait and see. all i have to say is this.. justin did that to his damn self. how stupid of him to tell johnny about the alliance we're in and the fact that he has a vote against him that round.. like WHAT is wrong with him.. all he had to do was keep his mouth shut and he would have been here kJGDSKS... and the fact that he literally told johnny EVERYTHING like what the fuck is wrong with you justin.. so stupid on your part and im so fucking pissed bc it fucks with my game. now.. some bigger news.. i found the merge idol?? KLHDFKLJSDKFGJL.... now i have two fucking idol. i can't believe IT. manifestation really does work. so ben, elmo and chloe all know about the merge idol because we all been helping each other find it.. and i told chloe i have the pre merge idol today. i told her elmo knows and that elmo didn't want me to tell her. i'm doing what i have to do in order to secure me spots more weeks into this game. but now this round is a speed round and i work 12-7 tomorrow so i'm gonna get no social game in really... this sucks and i just have to pray and hope they don't target me this round because i don't wanna have to use any idols yet. i really just wish this round wasn't sped up because it's really fucking with me and i hate the fact

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sorry i pressed enter before.. i hate the fact that i know i'm not gonna really be able to talk to people this round bc of work so i have to trust my allies will do everything correctly.. unlike how justin did anything he did.

Zack found the idol and I told our alliance about the extra vote. I am ride or die with Anabel's Angels at this point

Ignore everything I said in that last confessional. I don’t know what I’m doing. Getting Justin out was essential to moving those who I know I can trust to work with further in the game. Finally in an alliance with Jared and Johnny. I feel really solid about that. I’m continuing to not tell Elmo anything but still wanting to work with him so that’s a mood. But it sounds like my alliance along with Bodhi asya and anabel should be able to come together again and vote. But let’s find out cause I sure don’t know. Also Justin danggggg you were really coming out the gate. We gotcha but really respect how you make moves.

wow,,, speed round,,, crazy stuff miss aj,,, lol im so stressed ab this i literally dont know what im doing. jared wants to vote out ben and honestly i kinda do too, and i would w/o hesitation if it wasnt for zack elmo and chloe. i told them my voting justin out and lying to them was a one time thing and i like desperately wanna hold true to that, but jared brings up some INCREDIBLE points. i wanna tell them i wanna vote ben but ik they wouldnt react very well.. i just feel like voting him is best for my game bc like hes potentially the person whos playing the very best and im terrified of that bc i wanna win!!!! not him!!!!! it is just. hard. ill get back to u later prolly thank u for listening :)

so..... i lived

my heart was literally POUNDING during that tribal like i was fully prepared to drag anabel and johnny out behind me by their noses but ! i stayed ! sucks it had to be me or justin but according to chloe he may or may not have REALLY hardcore been pushing for me to go so.... the superior hawks stan won ig

oh yeah i talked to chloe. i’ve been putting it off but she messaged me and it wasn’t as bad as i thought bc as far as i’m concerned we’re even now. i want to really try to be a good ally to her. i know i have my alliance of 5 (6? are we counting lily in the alliance? she’s not physically in the chat but she’s been more of an ally to me than anabel so,) but i’m not stupid enough to think that those are gonna be the last people standing at the end. there’s always room for error. so i’m gonna do my best to work on my individual connections this round. it’s rough when these people literally just tried to send me home but we try anyways.

now. today’s issue. i literally want anabel gone So Bad. but johnny. he thinks that he has her on lock but like. if that was the case then the joey thing wouldn’t have happened (or maybe it wouldn’t have happened if the dumbass men listened to opinions other than their own but w/e). like she’s playing the game and doing it well. we’ve had two merge votes, both split down the middle almost. anabel is the ONLY person to vote on the right side both times. that doesn’t work for me. i don’t think she’s like actively targeting me because as far as i know, the facebook people kept justin’s self vote a secret from her? which means she might not have known we had the majority anyways 6-5 and she just voted him because she didn’t want me to go. and that’s all well and good, but i definitely see her being a problem for me in the later game. so. something to think about

Trust List 3.0:

1. Asya 2. Bodhi 3. Lily 4. Johnny 5. Chloe 6. Elmo 7. Zack 8. Anabel 9. Ben

anabel back on her crackhead bullshit. all i’ve said is that i won’t vote chloe because i gave my word and now suddenly she wants to vote chloe because johnny doesn’t want zack to go for some reason and his ass was out all day so basically he comes home two hours before the vote and starts changing shit up. i’m LIVID

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week-8/s-SjYaD

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Ben is voted out in a 5-4-2 vote. He becomes the third member of our jury.

#episode #sailaway

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