#like if i had room i would also put muppets treasure island on there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

watchathon · 3 years

Text

Halloween Special: Muppets Haunted Mansion

...Y’know, I had a plan for what the Halloween Special would be this year. I had a plan as far back as the day I did last year’s Halloween Special. I was going to cover the scariest movie to be covered on this blog so far, a legitimate horror that would haunt my nightmares for who knows how long, and you would have all gotten to be entertained by my reaction to it. But then, Disney just had to ruin it, didn’t they? Disney just had to announce a special that I would have no choice but to cover. Disney just had to announce…

Muppets Haunted Mansion.

Muppets. Haunted Mansion. They announced a crossover between my favorite Disney-owned property and my favorite Disney Parks ride, both a brand-new Muppets special and a second attempt at adapting the Haunted Mansion, the only reason this isn’t literally straight out of my wildest dreams is because it never even occurred to me I could have both those things at once, and what was I supposed to do then? Wait until next year to cover it?

No no no, my prior plans are what’ll be waiting until next year, because there’s not a chance that I’ll let this go by without gushing about it to all my followers!

Welcome, foolish mortals! I present to you my review of Muppets Haunted Mansion, a title that I still can’t believe I just typed!

This… was the best Muppets project since Muppets Most Wanted. Maybe even better than that. And certainly, it’s infinitely better than the last Haunted Mansion movie.

This special is clearly made with passion by people who not only love the Muppets, but also love the Haunted Mansion. There’s dialogue (specifically from the Ghost Host), scenes and even background music taken directly from the ride. While Grim Grinning Ghosts is unfortunately not present, a portion from it is used to end the song Rest in Peace. Heck, there’s even a reference to how the ride’s constantly-moving Omnimover system needs to stop whenever a disabled guest gets on, when Statler and Waldorf’s Doom Buggy stops in the middle of Life Hereafter with a “please remain seated” spiel very reminiscent of (perhaps even taken directly from?) the spiel from the ride.

Or, in an ingenious nod to both the ride and the original Muppet Show, the ride’s famous Grand Hall scene is combined with the recurring skit At the Dance from the Muppet Show.

Not to mention how Madame Pigota’s maid Kimmy is a cameo of Kim Irvine, prominent Imagineer and daughter of Leota Toombs Thomas, who was the face and namesake of the ride’s Madame Leota.

But it’s not just the loving nods towards my favorite Disney Parks ride that make me love this special. I raised an eyebrow when I heard on the Muppet History Podcast that Disney gave the crew a shorter runtime than they were hoping for because I thought it might result in a rushed pace, but on the contrary, this was paced perfectly. It never lingers too long on a scene, but those scenes still get room to breathe, and it’s not rushing from gag to gag like I feared it might.

And the writing is on par with the Muppets at their best. Call it recency bias, but I would honestly put this on par with stuff like Muppets Treasure Island and The Muppets (2011). Maybe not quite as good as The Muppet Christmas Carol and The Great Muppet Caper, but that would be a very high bar to clear.

It’s definitely superior to the previous Gonzo-focused movie, Muppets From Space. Not that that was a horrible movie, but it didn’t have quite as many great jokes as other Muppet movies do, and its portrayal of Gonzo as deeply insecure over his weirdness felt like a betrayal of a character who had previously seemed perfectly fine with being his bizarre self, even if there was nobody else quite like him.

Here, Gonzo is proud to be himself, openly enthusiastic about the spookiness of the Haunted Mansion, and while he is ultimately forced to admit that he isn’t as fearless as he likes to present himself as (under threat of being trapped in Room 999 for all eternity), he still comes away from the Mansion at the end of the movie having loved how terrifying it all was.

All in all, this was a great Muppet special, doubling as a great adaptation of the beloved Haunted Mansion. It was evidently made with passion by people who understand and love both those things, and know how to combine them perfectly. I’m definitely going to be watching this again tonight as I celebrate Halloween Night, and I could see myself making this a Halloween tradition of mine.

...But there’s no dead body in the stretching room scene, so 0/10.

#Movie #Halloween #Muppets Haunted Mansion #The Muppets #The Haunted Mansion #long post

33 notes · View notes

embeanwrites · 4 years

Text

Finding Home Gavin Reed x Reader

Chapter 20

Masterlist

Hey, come over to my apartment when you get off?

have to feed cats then ill be over, probs an hour

Works for me

warning im exhausted

When are you not? Besides I only date you for the cuddles anyway.

rude but fair

I sighed, laying on my couch. My apartment was becoming less dull, but it still needed some work. It was Wednesday evening and I had already prepped for my class tomorrow. After the previous night with my dad and Connor I were feeling a lot better. I hadn’t been able to see Gavin yesterday, he was at the DPD until 4 am. He even had to have Tina stop by his house to feed his cats. I was excited to tell him about how talking to my dad went. I was also looking forward to telling him about my class.

I was scrolling through my phone when finally, Gavin knocked on my door. I jumped up and let him in. He dramatically walked in and flopped himself down on my couch.

“Well, hello to you too.” I said closing the door and looking back at him. He’d already closed his eyes. I walked over and made him move his feet. “Long day?”

“Too long. Nines is on my case about my paperwork. I always get it done like Jesus, he's not my boss. He needs to lay off.” He mumbled. He wiped his eyes and sat up. “Sorry. How was your class yesterday?”

“It was good, and be nice to Nines, he’s just doing his job.” I gently brushed his hair out of his face and smiled. “I’m excited for my class tomorrow. We’re finally getting into the real class work and not the b.s. syllabus day crap.”

“How did talking with your dad go?” He leaned into my hand.

“Better than I expected. I’m pretty sure without Connor’s help we still wouldn’t be talking. I want the four of us to get dinner soon.” He groaned and laid back down, putting his legs back on my lap. “Hey, come on.” He sighed.

“Tin Can can’t even eat, (Y/n). Why would we go to dinner?”

“Connor.” He sighed.

“I don’t want to do this right now, I’m tired.”

“Then call him Connor and not ‘tin can.’” I replied gently.

“Slipped my mind.” He mumbled.

“Slipped your mind to treat Connor with respect?”

“(Y/n), I call Nines the same thing.”

“That doesn’t make it okay, Gavin.”

“Neither of them have complained. They can stand up for themselves if they want.”

“Just because they haven’t said anything about it doesn’t mean it’s automatically okay, Gavin.”

“They’re big robots, let them stand up for themselves.” I moved Gavin’s legs off my lap and got up. I started pacing and biting the skin of my thumb. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gavin watching me pace. “(Y/n), it’s not a big- “

“You better not say it’s not a big deal!” I snapped, finally turning to face him and pulling my hand away from my mouth to jab my finger accusingly at him. “Connor has been nothing but kind to me since I’ve come back to Detroit! He has defended you to my dad and spoken up for you!” I started walking towards my kitchen. I needed to do something with my hands, so I started putting away clean dishes. Just anything to keep my hands busy.

“It’s like a playful nickname, (Y/n)!” Gavin yelled as he followed me.

“No! Gavin it’s not! You call him tin can, plastic detective, plastic prick, and probably more I haven’t heard! It’s rude and horrible! Those are not playful, and you know it!” I whipped around and looked at him. He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

“Why does it matter? He’s not even here!”

“It matters because he’s practically my family, Gavin! I care about him and I don’t want to listen to you make fun of him!”

“Oh my god, you’re being way too dramatic! Calling him Tin Can is not making fun of him! You’re the one who asked me to come over, you knew I would be exhausted! Why do you want to pick a fight?”

“I’m not picking a fight!”

“Jesus Christ (Y/n)! What do you think is happening right now? You are picking a fight over the smallest thing right now! What the fuck happened to you that makes you defend androids so fucking much!” Taken back by his words I took a step back and folded my arms over my chest.

“I’d like you to leave now.” I whispered.

“(Y/n), come on.” He took a step towards me and I took one back.

“I need you to leave.” I raised my voice and glared at him.

“Fine.” He said, throwing his hands up. He slammed the door shut behind him. I took a shaky breath, attempting to calm myself down.

It took thirty minutes of pacing around my living room stewing in my anger for it to dissipate. I finally laid down on my couch, grabbing my phone. No new notifications. Good. It's not like I wanted Gavin to text me anyway. I opened messenger anyway, I'd been alone all day and now I only wanted one androids company.

Are you busy?

No. Why?

Can you come over?

I can be there in 11 and a half minutes.

I exhaled and put my phone on the coffee table, and covered my face with my hands, scrubbing off all the residual ick of volatile emotions. I closed my eyes and thought about what I said. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so mad, but Connor was becoming an important person in my life and I didn’t want to listen to Gavin patronize him. What even was my relationship with Connor? He didn’t mind when I said ‘dad’ instead of ‘my dad.’ Would he mind if I called him my brother? Should I even ask? Connor was new at this whole emotion thing and trying to figure out family dynamics couldn’t be easy.

There was a light knock at my door. I got up and opened it and let Connor in. He smiled gently.

“Is Gavin here?”

“He was, why?”

“His jeep is in the parking lot.” I told him to leave. Why was he still here? If he thought I was going to come down there and apologize to him, he was sorely mistaken.

“How do you know it’s his, Connor?”

“The license plate number.” I laughed and sat back on the couch. Connor smiled and sat down. “Are you okay?” I sighed.

“No, but I’m getting there. Connor, I want to ask you something and I want you to be 100 percent honest, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Would you be comfortable if I referred to you as my brother?” He froze and his LED spun red. “If that makes you uncomfortable or if you just don’t like it then I don’t have to. I just wanted to ask.” I spit out as quickly as I could.

“Could I call you my sister?” He asked quietly. I smiled widely.

“Of course, being siblings is a two-way street.” I bumped my shoulder into his.

“Why ask me now?” He looked at me softly.

“Well…to be honest me and Gavin got in a fight. He called you ‘Tin Can,’ and I got mad. I said that you were practically my family and that’s true, Connor. You’re basically dad’s son. He cares about you a lot and I care about you too.” He nodded, his LED still spinning red. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked softly. He paused for a moment.

“I’m trying to come up with the right words, (Y/n). I am honored you see me as a brother and to be honest I also view you and Hank as family. However, I worry that I may be overstepping my bounds. I’m not trying to replace Cole.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

“Connor, neither of us expect you to replace Cole. You can be a son and a brother without replacing Cole. I think Cole would be happy with how much you’ve done for dad. He’s not an easy person to get along with, but somehow, you’ve managed to get close to him and help him. He cares about you, Connor. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that.” He nodded; his LED turned yellow and finally back to blue.

“You’re really okay with me calling you my sister?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.” He smiled at me.

“I’m sorry, you and Gavin got into a fight because of me.”

“Don’t. I’m not going to let Gavin make fun of you, Nines, or any other android.” Suddenly there was a knock on my door. I groaned, having very little doubt that it was Gavin. I glanced at Connor who was looking at the door. Sighing, I got up and opened my door. My suspicions were confirmed. “Were your ears burning? What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

“Why are you still here? I asked you to leave.”

“(Y/n), can I please come in so we can talk about this.”

“I don’t know. Are you going to be mean to Connor? Or perhaps you want to insult me instead. Let’s see you can still go after my anxiety, my lack of friends, or you haven’t insulted my dad today! Want to take your pick?”

“(Y/n) …” Connor spoke behind me. I turned around and sighed. Moving to let Gavin into my apartment.

“Hey, Connor.” Gavin said. I was surprised to see Connor glaring at Gavin, he normally seemed happy go lucky. I wondered if he was trying to protect me from getting hurt again by Gavin.

“Detective Reed.” He responded curtly. I sat back down next to Connor and crossed my arms.

There was a tense silence for a moment, before Gavin, who was staring at the floor, sighed and muttered ‘okay’ under his breath and then looked up at me. “I’m sorry, (Y/n). I’m just tired and things slip sometimes. I have been getting better about that shit ask Connor.” I dragged my eyes away from Gavin and looked over at Connor. For a moment he sat there not saying anything and finally he sighed and responded.

“The daily insults have decreased.” Connor agreed begrudgingly. I sighed.

“Gavin, you have to get better about that. Connor is my family and I’m not going to be with someone who doesn’t treat him with respect.” Gavin sighed.

“I’m trying, but it takes time. I’m going to slip up and I’m sorry. I promise I’m trying to get better.” I looked at Connor and he nodded. “Shit, do you guys have some kind of telepathic thing going on now?” I laughed.

“No, Gavin.” I looked at him and sighed. “I know you’re trying, but just…let me correct you without getting defensive, okay?” He nodded and scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Gavin looked to the ground and scratched the back of his neck. “Uhhh, sorry about all the insults Connor.”

“Apology accepted.”

“Do you guys wanna watch a movie?” I smiled at Gavin’s question and looked at Connor.

“We still have Muppet Treasure Island left to watch.” Connor suggested. I laughed and Gavin groaned.

We all squeezed on to my small couch. I was squashed between the two men in front of the tv. Gavin had his arm resting on my shoulder and Connor was fidgeting with his coin, but kept his eyes locked on the movie. It was relaxing. I hoped we’d have more moments like this.

#gavin reed x reader #gavin reed #detroit become human #dbh #connor has major little brother energy #rk800connor #x reader

17 notes · View notes

captain-aralias · 4 years

Text

2020- 20 FACTS TAG GAME

what a great day for memes! thank you @sharkmartini ! here are some answers

1. Do you make your bed? no. recently i told my girlfriend - and i hold to this - that ‘making the bed is a con invented by the man’. what does it get you? your room looks neat - but who looks at your room? you do. and mostly i sit downstairs and dont look at my bed.

2. Favorite number? i don’t have a favourite number really, but i started putting a line through 7s quite late in life, so it always makes me feel weirdly sophisticated

3. What’s your job? i manage and inspire other people who make good websites

4. If I could would I go back to school? probably not, because any kind of higher education involves motivating yourself... and that sounds terrible. i would do a change of career type thing - like, i almost (not that almost - i wanted money much more) went to post-grade stage management school, and i’d go there, because i’d guess it would be FUN.

5. Can you parallel park? i haven’t really driven for ten years. when i drove, it was just about possible for me to parallel park, but not regularly and i didn’t enjoy it.

6. A job people would be surprised I had? idk - i think you would be surprised about the websites. before this i worked in publishing - which was legit terrible. don’t fall for it. don’t work there.

7. Do you think Aliens are real? sharkmartini’s answer to this is very good: I think it crazier to believe that there’s literally no other life anywhere. i wouldn’t go so far as this, although i think it’s a good arguement. i would say ... i don’t think about it that often.

8. Can you drive a standard car? weird question to ask after the parallel parking question.

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? i accept that all the things i do are actually totally awesome, like reading loads of fanfic and watching tv made for children, therefore they are not guilty pleasures. i guess - buying things from ebay from one of the brands i already have too much of: cath kidston, joules, tatty devine. these are things that i know i dont need, so i do feel a bit guilty.

10. Tattoos? no.

11. Favorite color? green or mustard yellow

12. Things people do that drive you crazy? sharkmartini wrote about people walking on a sidewalk - so now all i can think is ‘SLOW WALKERS. I HATE SLOW WALKERS SO MUCH. GET OUT OF THE WAY TOURISTS’. i can’t think of anything else that annoys me, i’m so annoyed about the slow walkers.

13. Any Phobias? SLOW WALKERS. no.

idk. i’m not afraid, but i feel queasy when people get cut open.

14. Favorite childhood sport? obviously i didn’t like sports - who do you think i am

15. Do you talk to yourself? yes. which is a mad thing to do. but definitely. i think very verbally (i.e. my whole consciousness is very much... just as slow as i can talk, and based a lot on language), so sometimes i just say stuff to myself that other people might just think. also, when i’m writing, sometimes i say the dialogue to myself ....

16. What movie do you adore? lots! i love star wars original trilogy, lord of the rings original trilogy, indiana jones original trilogy..... back to the future (thank fuck there are no more movies in this amazing trilogy), moulin rouge, golden age disney (aladdin is my favourite), movies about inspirational teachers ideally with singing (sister act and school of rock), camelot, 90s/early 2000s rom coms - particularly richard curtis classics (4 weddings is my favourite), i love xmas movies like muppet christmas carol (treasure island is also great) and its a wonderful life. basically - things should be funny, romantic, action packed/sweeping fantasy. idk - plenty more movies.

17. Do you like doing puzzles? no

18. Favorite type of music? music from the kind of movie i like

19. Tea or coffee? both

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? hairdresser and/or musketeer.

hm, i should probably go back and add ‘the three musketeers’ (1973) to the list - it is amazing, but ... i will just tell you here that i love it, and you will know. i also really really like the awful recent one where orlando bloom is an evil duke of buckingham. it’s so over the top and i love it. and i LOVE the man in the iron mask even though i know it must be crap BUT I LOVE IT TOO MUCH, i can’t tell if it is crap or not, help. it just does everything i want a movie to do.

even this gif makes me feel emotional.

(and the guy with the curly hair - apparently called Lieutenant Andre - is like ‘magnificent valour!’ and he gets so angry when d’artangon dies and says the best line ‘All I ever wanted to be - was him’.) (honestly, how much i love this movie tells you a LOT about me, i haven’t even watched it for years. i didn’t even list it in the favourite movies answer. but it presses all the right buttons.)

the tim curry muskeeters is just awful and unwatchable. dont watch that one.

tagging some folks: @giishu @moonllotus @sourcherrymagiks @sbazzing @fight-surrender @ninemagicks @milo-fanarts

18 notes · View notes

imagitory · 5 years

Text

D-Views: Muppet Treasure Island

Hi, everyone! Welcome to another installment of D-Views, my on-going written review series for films that fall under the Disney umbrella, as well as those that were influenced by those films! For more reviews for movies like Mary Poppins, Treasure Planet, and The Prince of Egypt, please consult my “Disney Reviews” tag and, of course, if you enjoy this review or any of the others, please consider liking and reblogging!

Today’s film is one of my childhood favorites, starring a cast of some of my favorite people, as well as frogs, pigs, and even whatevers. This is Muppet Treasure Island! (Thank you for your votes, @the-alexandrian-alchemist, @silvvergears, @extremelybears, @livinlifelikeishould and @karalora!)

Ever since 1976, the characters of the Muppet Show have been American pop culture icons. The show itself won a total of 21 Emmy nominations and four television awards over its long run, and by 1990 its cast had also starred in several critically acclaimed films (The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, and The Muppets Take Manhattan) and the very popular animated TV show Muppet Babies. And all of that wouldn’t have been possible without the Muppets’ creator, Jim Henson.

Like at the Walt Disney Company, the loss of their leader in 1990 hit Jim Henson Productions very hard. One silver lining, however, is that just like with Walt Disney, Jim Henson was memorialized not just by the characters he created, but by his many achievements and the many friendships he’d made in life. He received a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame alongside Kermit the Frog; was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame; earned a memorial in his hometown Hyattsville, Maryland; was posthumously named a Disney Legend; was the focus of the heartfelt TV special The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson; and was laid to rest with two formal funeral services complete with performances of some of his favorite songs. And just like the Walt Disney Company, even after the death of someone who meant so much to them, Jim Henson Productions got back up and promised to do more in the memory of their lost leader. Jim’s son Brian Henson took the reins and directed the Disney-co-produced Christmas movie The Muppet Christmas Carol in 1992, before he moved on to their next project and today’s subject, Muppet Treasure Island.

So, here’s the thing -- I have a LOT of nostalgia for this movie. I will be upfront about that. But even with that acknowledged, I was sort of stunned when I found out how lukewarm the reaction to this movie was, when it was released in theaters. Sure, I knew it hadn’t broken the bank, but even if it earned about $34 million worldwide, it received no honors or awards, only hit third at the box office opening weekend behind the movies Broken Arrow and Happy Gilmore, and even now only boasts an average 73% rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Critics at the time criticized how it was more “Treasure Island” than “Muppet”, with Roger Ebert calling it “less cleverly written” and Gene Siskel even more coldly deeming it “boring.” Although I’ll readily acknowledge that reading those reactions makes me want to run outside and scream “FUCK YOU, GENE SISKEL” at the top of my lungs, I promise to give a more rational review of this movie instead, one hopefully that acknowledges any possible shortcomings, but also will celebrate this film and how completely NOT boring it is.

One of the best things about this movie hits us in the face right off the bat -- the music, written by scoring giant Hans Zimmer and Nick Glennie-Smith. As much as I enjoy a lot of Muppet musicals, I attest that Muppet Treasure Island has the most cohesive score overall of any Muppet production. The Muppets were always creatures of the short, sweet vignette -- of the variety show -- of many disparate pieces sewn loosely together into a whole like a patchwork quilt. Even though The Muppet Christmas Carol’s soundtrack comes very close in its cohesion and I would say The Muppets (2011) -- my personal favorite Muppet movie -- is truer to the spirit of the Muppet Show in its music while also paying tribute to old-fashioned movie musicals, Muppet Treasure Island just paints a full-bodied picture from the off-set, building on refrains that return and morph over the course of the picture. From the very beginning, we get that this venture is NOT a standard Muppet movie. Like The Muppet Christmas Carol, the Muppets’ humor will only be part of the story told -- in TMCC, it takes a backseat to sincere emotions like love and redemption, while here in MTI, it takes a backseat to adventure and swashbuckling action.

The score also seamlessly flows into our first song, “Shiver My Timbers,” which just screams “pirate!” I’ve loved pirates ever since I was a little kid, and Muppet Treasure Island was one of the main reasons why. I was okay with Peter Pan, but Muppet Treasure Island was what really got me excited about pirates. They were rough, ruthless, and dangerous, but it was exciting to face off against them in an epic musical adventure, even if your only weapons were a couple of artfully thrown starfish. In the 90′s, pirate films weren’t really “in” -- it wouldn’t be until 2003 with the release of Pirates of the Caribbean that they became popular again -- but I think Muppet Treasure Island, through its music, really embraces the fun, action-packed thrills that Disney would later capitalize on in the Pirates films.

After our prologue, we meet Billy Bones (played by the perfectly cast Billy Connolly) and, of course, our hero, Jim Hawkins, played by newcomer Kevin Bishop. Kevin was the very first of a hundred kids who showed up for the audition to meet the casting agents, and he was selected for the part then and there. Sadly post-Muppets he moved on to stage and television, but for what it’s worth, I quite like Kevin in the role of Jim. He’s distinctly depicted as a boy, complete with a pre-puberty “boy soprano” singing voice (which I acknowledge is an acquired taste, but I personally enjoy), but that characterization only serves to accent how large of an arc he goes through over the course of the film. He starts off as smart, sincere, honest, and dreamy, but also very innocent and trusting, and over the course of the story, he learns to ground himself in who he is and what he believes in, to the point where he has to sever ties with someone he once considered a friend and mentor. Accompanying Jim in his journey are Gonzo and Rizzo, who largely serve as comic relief but do still serve as good friends and companions to Jim, as evident by the three characters’ “I Want” song, “Something Better.” Yes, Gonzo and Rizzo are sidekicks, but they’re still distinct personalities that bounce well off each other and “straight-man” Jim. Originally the filmmakers had considered simply having Gonzo and Rizzo being two characters called “Jim” and “Hawkins” respectively (splitting the part in two, not unlike what they did with Statler and Waldorf in The Muppet Christmas Carol), but due to concerns that the choice would result in a lack of heart in the finished product, that idea was scrapped. I think it ultimately was the better decision to leave the drama to the humans -- it’s not that the Muppets can’t conjure sincere emotion (just look at “Pictures in my Head” or “Man or Muppet”), but I still think having any of the existing Muppets fulfill the “coming of age” narrative the original Jim Hawkins goes through would’ve been a bit of a stretch. Even in The Muppet Christmas Carol or non-Muppet-show Jim Henson production Labyrinth, the main characters with a story arc are played by human actors who are able to ground the picture despite the cast of colorful, irreverent characters.

One of the main criticisms that critics of the time lobbed at this movie is that it feels more “Treasure Island” than “Muppet”, and in a way it’s a decent point, if not phrased very badly. Unlike in other Muppet projects, the humor plays second fiddle to the plot and the characters are not the characters we know from the Muppet Show with their Muppet Show backstories and consciousness. In The Muppet Christmas Carol, the film could very easily be seen as a “production” being put on by the Muppets, even if it’s never overtly stated as such, thanks to Gonzo (as Charles Dickens) constantly breaking the fourth wall. In Muppet Treasure Island, however, Gonzo and Rizzo have their own non-Muppet-show history as friends of Jim Hawkins way before ever meeting the other Muppets like Kermit and Sam the Eagle, and Kermit and Miss Piggy have a whole soap-opera romance that involves a wedding and getting marooned by pirates (we’ll get to that later). So yes, this is more “Treasure Island,” but it’s not less “Muppet” -- it’s less “Muppet Show.” These Muppets have different histories, but they’re the same characters despite this. Gonzo is an eccentric thrill-seeker -- Rizzo is a cowardly cynic -- Kermit is a soft-spoken pacifist -- Fozzie is a lovable dimwit -- Piggy is a self-centered diva. Think of Muppet Treasure Island as a Muppet AU fanfiction -- these may not be exactly the characters you know, and yet...they are! They’re the exact same big personalities with the same quirks, strengths, and weaknesses, just in an alternate universe. And honestly, I think it’s really cool, to see these sorts of characters so exclusively used for comedy in a world that’s not flat-out comedic -- one that’s kind of dirty and rough around the edges, with swashbuckling action and real danger around every corner.

The nice thing is that although yes, the comedy isn’t the central focus anymore, there is still really good humor in this film, a lot of it thanks to the shift in tone. There’s just something so very, very funny to me about Billy Bones’s death scene being followed up by Rizzo, Gonzo, and Jim just flat-out freaking out and dashing out of the room screaming like stupid kids, or the tense action scene where the pirates storm into the inn being punctuated by Rizzo trying to help Gonzo load the gun, only to spill the bag of bullets, or the epic entrance of the illustrious Captain Smollett’s carriage ending with the tall, solemn coachman stepping aside to reveal the Captain himself, played by Kermit the Frog. I think it plays into the ideas of subverting expectations and building up a punchline properly before delivering the joke -- as each scene is built up, we’re left constantly unsure if the film’s going to play things straight or just be completely irreverent, and the contrast is what can make a joke much funnier than in a purely, solely humorous scenario. There are a few points where the contrast can become a bit labored, but I laugh so much more during this movie that I ever have watching my favorite reruns of the Muppet Show, no matter how much I enjoy them. It’s something that, again, the Pirates of the Caribbean films would capitalize on much later. (Too bad they couldn’t incorporate that humor into any catchy musical numbers! Disney, where’s my Pirates of the Caribbean musical?)

Aha, and now we come to the brightest of the shining stars in this film -- our villain, Long John Silver, played by the amazing Tim Curry. I’m sorry, it’s an incontrovertible truth that Curry is a unique, magical ingredient that, when added to any movie, just elevates the cinematic dish to a whole new level and leaves you drooling for one more scene with him. I remember someone once saying that Curry is sort of like a Muppet in human skin thanks to his outrageous, yet likable acting, and...yeah, it makes it so that he fits perfectly in this movie, where he has to interact so closely with the Muppets. The nice thing is, though, that he also has a lot of chemistry with his human co-star Kevin Bishop, to the extent that you sincerely feel for the relationship that forms between Jim and Silver even if you know Silver’s intentions from the start. I particularly like their exchange in the ridiculously catchy “Sailing for Adventure,” as well as their scene at the front of the ship where they discuss their fathers and the stars.

Just as the adventure is getting going, however, it stops dead with the wind’s abandonment of the Hispaniola. Out of nowhere, the ship breaks out into the most ridiculous, most “Muppet” of all of the musical numbers, “Cabin Fever.” The song was one of my favorite parts when I was little and it’s always made me laugh, but it’s definitely the biggest detour of the movie that up until that point lived in its own pirate-centric world. It’s a very short-lived detour and as I said, it’s ridiculously funny, but it doesn’t have any bearing on the plot and I could see how people might find it kind of pointless, particularly since it doesn’t even feature three of our main characters, Jim, Silver, or Smollett. One other critique I will give the film is that some of the effects nowadays don’t look very real, like the Hispaniola being composited over still matte paintings -- there are points where the production values remind me a bit of the old Wishbone TV series, where they have to angle the shot just so or get creative just to try to make the ship look as big as it should be. But honestly, there were points where Wishbone impressed me with those same sorts of layering and green-screen effects despite its limited budget, and those cheaper effects don’t look tacky or out-of-place, so I personally don’t mind them that much.

Because this is a Muppet movie, it’s unsurprising that our Mr. Arrow (played by Sam the Eagle) isn’t really killed, instead just being tricked off of the ship by a manipulative Silver, but it says something that, even with that softened plot turn, the stakes are not completely dismantled. We still see the pirates as a legitimate threat when they kidnap Jim and take over the Hispaniola, even when they burst into song. Tim Curry’s “only number,” “A Professional Pirate,” is a perfect expression of his expert, charming showmanship, which in my mind truly can’t be matched by any other performer in Hollywood, past or present. No one gives a performance like Tim Curry. It makes it so that even when I was a bratty kid getting irritated about Silver calling privateer Sir Francis Drake a pirate and using “buccaneer” as a synonym for “pirate,” I would sing this song at the top of my lungs, trying to even reach 75% of the energy Curry put into his vocals.

At long last, Miss Piggy makes her grand debut as “Queen Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal,” a.k.a. Benjamina Gunn. Although the diva doesn’t end up getting much screentime, she certainly gets a grand entrance, complete with an elephant steed decorated with flowers and a full musical number complete with a tribal chant and ethereal vocalizing. And true to form, when she lays eyes on her one true love, Kermit...she smacks him so hard that he’s thrown backwards off his feet and into a gong. What’s particularly interesting about Piggy in this movie is that although she and Fozzie are voiced by Frank Oz as always, both she and Fozzie were actually puppeted by Kevin Clash, as Oz was unavailable during this film’s production, and Oz’s vocals for both characters were added in post-production. Despite the difference in puppeteer, however, both characters are just as likable as ever -- I’d honestly had no clue that they weren’t performed by the same person! The film even got to use the full-bodied remote-controlled puppets for Kermit and Piggy for the love duet “Love Led Us Here,” which is kicked off by an Evita joke I never got as a kid but as an adult makes me grin like a friggin’ idiot. Fortunately the duet is inter-cut with Silver and the pirates finding the treasure, rather than it being chock-full of romantic flashbacks or prolonged looks between the two lovebirds, giving it a lighter tone than it would’ve had otherwise.

With a much reduced crew comprised only of Rizzo, Gonzo, Squire Trelawney, Dr. Honeydew, Beaker, and the newly returned Mr. Arrow, Jim comes to Benjamina and Smollett’s rescue and returns to Treasure Island to face Silver and the pirates. The action scene is full of humor, but because of the world established in the rest of the film, I would argue it still has stakes. The blows still hurt and there’s still a threat of defeat and danger, most notably when Long John Silver prepares to fight. Even if you don’t think the Muppets are going to die persay, you still feel the suspense in wanting to see what’s going to happen next. And when Silver surrenders, he himself can see the real treasure Jim found on his adventure -- a family...a group of people Muppets who will support him and encourage the very best in him.

Silver’s escape scene is a beautifully heart-wrenching scene -- one that could only have been earned by two excellent performances over the course of the film by Kevin Bishop and Tim Curry. Even though both Silver and Jim know that they’re different people and they could never walk the same path, it doesn’t mean that they don’t still greatly esteem and care about each other. In Jim’s case, it’s especially difficult, given that in parting ways with Silver, he has to cut loose of a very poor potential father figure who would’ve only dragged him down in the long run, but who was so likable in his own damaged way. It proves to be a very bittersweet scene sprinkled into a very happy, cheerful ending, complete with the chipper island-inspired end credits bop “Love Power.”

Muppet Treasure Island is -- in my opinion, at least -- one of the best Muppet movies ever made. It broke away from quite a few Muppet conventions, like the characters breaking the fourth wall and being aware of themselves being in a movie or TV show, and embraced a much less humorous tone in both its writing and cinematography. Yes, it reimagined a classic book like The Muppet Christmas Carol did, but this movie took the next step, embracing the world of the original novel as well as the set-up and immersing the Muppets’ cast of characters in it. Although I can see why some people would be more partial to the original Muppet movie formula and love it a lot myself, I really, really respect Brian Henson and the rest of this film’s crew for taking the Muppets in such a different direction. It was an entertaining, action-packed, funny pirate movie before those sorts of movies became popular again, and it remains my favorite “pirate” movie of all time, as well as my personal favorite incarnation of the Treasure Island story (barely beating out Treasure Planet). I know childhood nostalgia can play a role in what media can give you joy as an adult, but I truly don’t think it’s the only factor here -- it’s also just a really good movie, and I can only hope that more people will consider giving it a chance and have just as much fun Sailing for Adventure as I did!

#d-views #disney reviews #muppet treasure island #the muppets #reviews #opinion #analysis #oh boy here i go #brian henson #tim curry #kevin bishop #billy connolly

30 notes · View notes

fardell24b · 3 years

Text

Quinn’s Code 13 A Night at Kristen’s

Quinn's Code 13: A Night at Kristen's

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Quinn Morgendorffer. Cindy Brolsma and Stacy Rowe arrived outside their friend, Kristen Leung-Bell's, house. They were going to have a sleep over. It had been organised the previous afternoon after they had all decided that it would be a good opportuntity to get to know each other better, particularly Stacy.

The house was a nondescript building, hidden by the trees in the front yard, at the end of a cul-de-sac.

“Nice trees,” Stacy said, trying to see the house from where she stood next to the mail box. She could only see the front door and two windows, which had blinds drawn. She wondered what was behind those windows. 'Probably nothing out of the ordinary,' she thought.

Kristen heard the doorbell. 'They're here!' she thought. She put the Game Cube controller down and went to the door. “Hi, Cindy, Quinn, Stacy, welcome to the Leung-Bell's,” she said, with a little humorous formality.

“Do you have to be so formal?” Cindy asked, with a slight laugh. Kristen smirked at her long time friend's laugh.

“Huh?” Quinn asked.

“A slight joke,” Cindy explained.

“Oh,” Quinn said.

Stacy turned to Quinn “Wait, you've been her friend for nearly six months, and haven't been over?” she asked.

“I hadn't invited her, and she hadn't asked. We mostly hang out at Cindy's,” Kristen explained, matter-of-factly.

“I suppose,” Stacy said.

“Come in,” Kristen said. 'It is natural that she would be hesitant,' she thought, knowing it would be a while before Stacy would be completely comfortable around them.

“Of course,” Stacy said.

Kristen lead the way inside.

The four teens entered the ktichen, where Kristen's mother was making preparations for dinner. There were delicious smells coming from the stove.

'Something smell's good,' Quinn thought.

“Mom.”

Krista Bell turned at her daughter's voice. “Kristen.”

“You know Cindy.”

“Hi,” Cindy said.

“These are Quinn Morgendorffer and Stacy Rowe,” Kristen said gesturing to both of them in their turn.

“Welcome,” Krista said. She stepped towards Quinn. “I heard about the debate at the Coffee House.”

“I had to say something,” Quinn said. She was about to say something more when she was interrupted.

“That's certain. I also heard about what happened this week,” Krista said. She turned to Stacy. “I'm happy that you were able to stand up to that bully,” she added. 'I don't know why Ms. Li tolerated her behavior!'

“You heard about that?” Stacy asked, uncertainly. The uncertainty showed on her face, but Krista also saw an inner strength.

“Kristen tells me a lot about what happens at school,” Krista said. She lowered her voice. “Unlike Kelly.” She shook her head, wondering where she and her husband had gone wrong with their middle child, not for the first time.

“I see,” Stacy said, also uncertainly. Her nervousness increased, so she started to breath deeply. 'Oh no!' she thought.

“Don't panic, Stacy!” Cindy said. “It's a habit from her work,” she said, as she placed her hand on Stacy's shoulder as a comforting gesture.

“Your work?” Stacy asked.

“All I'm allowed to say is that I work for the Government. The Feds. You understand?” Krista said, with slight hardness to her voice.

“Yes,” Stacy said, still slightly panicky. 'She works for the Government?' she asked herself. She stopped that line of thought and focused on calming herself. She didn't want to know too much. 'It could be anything!'

“You don't have to worry. What is said in this house, doesn't go beyond here,” Krista said, the hardness gone.

“Thank goodness,” Stacy said, more calmly than previously.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I'm happy that you are making good friends. You can rely on Kristen, and Cindy. Quinn, I don't know so well. But I trust my younger daughter's judgement,” Krista elaborated.

Kristen was embarrassed. “Oh, Mom!”

“Thanks!” Quinn said.

“As I was saying, your side of the debate was a good thing. Standing up for the downtrodden. Those who are picked on.”

“Yeah. I had to stop her from treating me badly,” Quinn said. “She has disliked me from the time I arrived.”

“I understand,” Krista said. “I had similar experiences at school,” she elaborated. 'With the help of good friends, I put them behind me,' she thought.

“She's going to go on for ages,” Kristen said with a sigh.

'I guess so,' Stacy thought.

“Dinner will be ready soon,” Krista said, recognising that her daughter wanted to get her friends settled in for the night.

“Cool,” Quinn said.

A minute later, the four friends entered Kristen's room.

“Cool room!” Stacy said, excitedly.

“It is, isn't it?” Cindy said.

“Um, yeah,” Quinn said.

The room was larger than any of their rooms. On one side was her closet, with her bed above it, overlooking the sliding door to an upstairs balcony, which looked over the back yard. Stacy went to the balcony and saw that the back yard had just as many trees as the front yard. She could barely see out.

On the other side, was her computer and entertainment set up, with a large flatscreen television. Most of the walls were taken up with anime and JRPG posters. Quinn looked at those with silent appreciation.

Kristen walked to the closet. She pulled out a guest bed, below the closet. “Here's your usual bed, Cindy,” she said.

“Cool,” Cindy said.

Kristen opened the closet. “There are a couple of inflatable matresses, in there, already inflated,” she said.

Stacy and Quinn quickly found the inflated matresses, and the sleeping bags close by. “Cool,” Quinn said. They took out the matresses and placed them in the middle of the room. Stacy placed hers close to the door to the balcony. Quinn placed hers close to the computer and entertainment setup.

“Great! There is still plenty of room to walk,” Quinn said.

“That's right,” Kristen said with a slight laugh.

“Cool,” Kristen said once they had set up. “Let's go back down.”

“Sure,” Cindy said.

“Certainly,” Quinn said.

When they had come down the stairs, Krista and Kristens's brother Keith were setting the table. “Dinner is almost ready,” Krista said.

Cindy smiled. “Cool,” she said.

“Is that all you have to say?” Stacy asked.

“Just wait until you taste it,” Cindy said. “Ms. Bell is a great cook!”

“I could have been a chef,” Krista said.

“I'll wait until I taste it,” Stacy said.

“Same here,” Quinn said.

Krista just responded with a smile.

“You'll see,” Keith added.

Soon the dinner was ready.

Kristen and Keith sat on one side, with a space between them for Kelly who had not yet come home. Cindy, Quinn and Stacy sat on the other. Krista and her husband sat at the ends.

“You have called Kelly?” Krista asked, once they had all sat down.

“I have, the call went through to voicemail,” her husband, Ken, said, with a tone of great annoyance.

“I don't know why she is so troublesome!” Krista said, with a similar tone of annoyance.

“I don't know either,” Kristen said.

“Nor I,” Keith said.

“She should be home later,” Krista said. She looked at her husband, who said grace.

They then began to eat.

“So, what do you plan to do tonight?” Krista asked.

“We'll watch a couple of movies. Then talk about the upcoming week,” Kristen said.

“Get to know Stacy better,” Cindy said.

“Yeah,” Stacy said, quietly. Louder she said. “Get to know them better.”

Krista smiled. “That's a good plan,” she said.

After dinner, the four friends went back up to Kristen's room.

“So, which movies do we have to watch?” Stacy asked as she entered after the others.

“I have quite a few, although most of them are still on VHS,” Kristen answered.

“Let's look at the DVDs first,” Quinn suggested.

“Sure,” Kristen said.

They looked at Kristen's DVDs and VHS tapes, and quickly found some movies. The first one theyd decided to watch was an anime; Who can see the Future?

As they watched it they discussed the themes of the film.

“That was cool!” Quinn said, when the credits started rolling. “Though I hadn't heard of it.”

“It is fairly obscure,” Kristen said.

“It must be if I hadn't heard of it it,” Quinn said with an honest smile.

“I enjoyed it too,” Cindy said. “What's next?”

Kristen pulled a VHS tape out of the pile. “Muppet Treasure Island?” she asked.

“I haven't seen it,” Stacy admitted. “Is it good?”

“It's really good, quite funny,” Quinn said.

“One of the better adaptations of the source material,” Cindy said as she took the tape from Kristen. She put it into the VCR.

Kristen then used the remote to change the television input from the DVD player to the VCR. She then ejected the anime disk from the DVD player.

“It's based on a book?” Stacy asked.

“Yes, are you saying you haven't heard of Treasure Island?” Cindy asked.

Stacy thought for a moment. “Actually, I have heard of it, but haven't read it, not even in grade school. I was more interested in comics and games,” she said, showing more shame in her voice as she went on.

“Games?” Quinn asked excitedly. “Which games?”

“Mainly on the PlayStation, like Final Fantasy VII and Banjo Kazooie,” Stacy answered.

“It's a good book,” Cindy said, while appreciating Stacy's taste in games.

“You recommend it?” Stacy asked.

“Yes,” Cindy and Quinn said.

“You'll enjoy this movie,” Kristen said as she pressed play.

As they watched the film, they discussed the differences betweem the novel and the film. Stacy chimed in with the few episodes that she had seen of The Muppet Show.

“...Oooo-oooh!”

“Steady now, steady as she goes.”

“Obviously, Brian Henson has continued his father's legacy,” Stacy said.

“Oooo-oooh!”

“Certainly,” Cindy said.

“Wicked fog tonight, sir.”

“He has developed it further,” Stacy continued.

“Oooo-oooh!”

“For instance, this movie has improved, albeit a little, on A Muppet Christmas Carol,” Quinn added.

“It reminds me of the night we ran aground off the Pampas. Half the crew drowned in leaky lifeboats, Such a terrible shame.”

“I agree,” Kristen said.

“Leaky lifeboats?”

“A Muppet Christmas Carol, I have seen that, years ago,” Stacy said.

“A common occurrence, Sir. A little used piece of equipment falls into disrepair and... I'm not saying we have problems...”

“Still...”

“Pay attention here, Stacy,” Kristen said.

“Sure,” Stacy said.

After watching the memorial service for Mr. Arrow, Stacy told the others what she remembered of A Muppet Christmas Carol. At least until Professional Pirate started, anyway...

“So, what did you think of that movie?” Kristen asked once the credits started rolling.

“It's quite good. I hope the library has a copy of the novel,” Stacy said.

“I'm sure it does,” Cindy said.

“Good,” Stacy said, brightening.

Kristen looked at the time. “Ten fifty,” she said.

“Huh?” Stacy said.

“Ten to eleven,” Kristen said.

“Oh,” Stacy said. “No time for another movie.”

“But there is time for an episode of an anime,” Quinn said.

“That would be cool,” Stacy said.

“I have a few,” Kristen said as she started rewinding the Muppet Treasure Island tape.

“Cool,” Quinn said.

“You can choose,” Kristen said to Quinn.

“Sure,” Quinn said.

Quinn looked through Kristens's anime DVDs. Soon she found something. “You got it!” she exclaimed in delight.

“Yes,” Kristen said simply.

“What is it?” Stacy asked.

“One Piece!” Quinn said with a squee.

“What's it about?” Stacy asked.

“A boy who wants to become King of the Pirates,” Kristen answered.

“I see. Let's watch it then,” Stacy said.

After they watched the first episode of One Piece, they started getting reading for bed. This was made easier by the fact that the Leung-Bells had two bathrooms upstairs, but it was still approaching midnight before they were all ready.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

It took time for Stacy to get to sleep, especially in an unfamiliar place. “Hard to get to sleep,” she said after fifteen minutes. Suddenly she heard a crash, as of a door being slammed. “What's that?” she asked.

Kristen was still awake. “Oh, it's just Kelly arriving home late,” she said.

“Oh, your sister,” Stacy said. She got up, and looked at the other two. Both Quinn and Cindy were fast asleep. Soon, Stacy heard shouting. She was concerned “Do they shout at her a lot?”

“She never tells them what she is doing,” Kristen said.

“I see,” Stacy said.

After a while, the shouting stopped, and the door slammed again. “It sounds like she has left again...” Kristen said with concern.

“Does she have somewhere else to go?” Stacy asked.

“She does have friends,” Kristen said.

“Oh,” Stacy said.

“Whether they are good influences or not, I'm not sure.”

“OK,”

Soon, there was a knock on the bedroom door. Kristen climbed down and went to the door. “Yes?” she asked.

“Kelly has gone to a friend's for the night,” Krista whispered, with disappointment in her voice.

“She'll be back tomorrow, right?”

“No idea,” Krista said with resignation. “I'll call her friends in the morning.” She moved into the room. “They're asleep, right?”

“Cindy and Quinn are. I'm not sure about Stacy,” Kristen answered.

“Stacy?” Kristen asked, louder.

“I couldn't hear you. I know you were talking about something, but I didn't hear!” Stacy said, quietly.

“That's OK,” Krista said. “But there are ways to get asleep. Have you tried, a glass of milk before bed?”

“No,” Stacy answered.

“Come downstairs, I'll get you one,” Krista said.

“Sure,” Stacy said.

Krista poured the milk. “You did hear what went on?” she asked.

“Not really,” Stacy replied.

“Good,” Krista said with a sigh of relief.

“I don't want to know,” Stacy said.

Soon, Stacy did manage to go to sleep. She was happy to have made such good friends...

#daria #fan fiction #quinn morgendorffer #stacy rowe

0 notes

theconservativebrief · 6 years

Link

Like all ghastly failures, The Happytime Murders is not “so bad it’s good.” It’s just bad: a boring flop, an unfunny comedy where nothing’s at stake. The plot is shot through with inexplicable inconsistencies, and the jokes and quips are so leaden that they thud like flamed-out turds.

If you’re feeling too optimistic about the world, then it’s the film to see.

Certainly “puppets, but dirty” has been done before, but never this stupidly. The movie’s sole virtue is its short runtime — it barely reaches an hour and a half — but it outstays its welcome long before it reaches the end. There’s some notable comedic talent onscreen, particularly Melissa McCarthy, Elizabeth Banks, and Maya Rudolph, but they’re wasted on a halfhearted premise, sluggish pacing, and slapdash execution.

Let me put it this way: If the demons in the Bad Place made movies, they’d make this one, and then probably brag about how bad the reviews were to sell some more tickets, and the whole point would be to torture you and me.

The range of faces made during watching this film. STX Entertainment

When Jim Henson came up with Muppets, he was trying to make TV puppets that could have a wide array of emotions. What he came up with was a cloth-covered foam rubber puppet that seemed to be talking and emoting in ways that were familiar to humans, but not so human-like that they were creepy.

The result has always been pretty funny, and occasionally touching too. Puppets and people living alongside one another, without anyone really acknowledging how strange it is that these puppets move around freely, makes everyone laugh. Henson’s creations entertain everybody, in both innocently wholesome ways (as on Sesame Street) and slightly more grown-up but still generally PG-rated ways (as on The Muppet Show).

The idea of dirty Muppets is funny partly because so many of us spent our childhoods with squeaky-clean Muppets on Sesame Street teaching us the alphabet and basic Spanish and the rules of kindness and sharing. Transgressive Muppets and Muppet-like puppets that are mean and misanthropic and sexual and otherwise deviant are a shocking inversion of that. We’re inclined to laugh because the juxtaposition is weird and aberrant and a little shocking. That’s worked for movies like Meet the Feebles and musicals like Avenue Q.

But “puppets, only dirty” isn’t enough to hang a movie on, any more than “female protagonists, only dirty” is a surefire home run. The Happytime Murders is (purportedly) a movie, so it needs things like setup, characters, plot, dialogue, and narrative payoff. Maybe try to throw in some funny situations here and there that will surprise the audience and make them chuckle. You know. Make a movie.

The rabbit and the P.I. in a puppet porn shop. STX Entertainment

I don’t know what happened with The Happytime Murders — especially since the screenplay was reportedly in development for a decade — but everyone involved seems to have forgotten what a movie is.

Directed by Brian Henson, son of Jim — who has directed a few features before, including The Muppet Christmas Carol and Muppet Treasure Island, and a lot of Muppet-driven TV — and drawn from a story and script by Todd Berger, The Happytime Murders sets itself up as a riff on detective noir. But the attempt never goes beyond the most surface-level homage, resulting in something herky-jerky and listless, incapable of doing anything interesting with its eye-catching premise.

The story concerns an LA private investigator named Phil Philips (voiced by Bill Barretta), the first puppet on the LAPD before he was booted from the force after being accused of purposely failing to shoot a puppet perp. Now working from his own practice on the edge of Chinatown with a non-puppet secretary named Bubbles (Maya Rudolph), he finds himself caught up in a case in which the stars of a children’s TV show led by a woman named Jenny (Elizabeth Banks) from decades earlier start to turn up dead, one by one, blown to fluff by a mysterious assassin. At the same time, he’s hired to solve a case of blackmail for a (puppet) femme fatale, who’s also a raging nymphomaniac.

In an unhappy fluke, Philips becomes a consultant to the LAPD on the case, and is paired with his former partner, Detective Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy, whose appearance in this film just makes me sad), to solve it before even more puppets are killed. It is not, shall we say, a happy time.

Actually, “not a happy time” is too gentle — this movie is a drag.

As The Happytime Murders unwinds its plot, it makes less and less sense. That’s not because, in the manner of classic sunshine noir, it turns out that things are more complicated than they seem; it’s because as Philips and Edwards solve the mystery, some glaring plot holes turn up that seem due more to shoddy writing and editing than forethought and philosophical investigation.

But look, it’s puppets. Obviously not everything needs to make sense.

The puppet and the former TV star (Elizabeth Banks) in The Happytime Murders. STX Entertainment

This is, however, supposed to be a comedy, which means it needs some kind of humor to stay afloat. Sadly, this is not the kind of comedy that seeks to deliver clever jokes or quippy one-liners; this is the sort of movie that sets a very long scene in a porn/sex shop for puppets (involving graphic depictions of several different fetishes) and leaves the “joke” at that. It’s not just annoying, it’s also interminable.

In fact, most of the scenes involving sexual humor — like one in which silly string is a stand-in for an enormous quantity of a certain ejaculatory bodily fluid — seem to have been edited with the knowledge that this situation is way less funny than it should be, and therefore the scene has to be extended as long as possible to bludgeon us into finally laughing. (We also get several pantyless crotch shots of a female puppet, lots of drug use, and … well, I guess what I am saying is please, please do not bring your children.)

Melissa McCarthy is technically a co-star in this movie, and though her steady output has been uneven at times, she’s one of the most talented and bankable performers in the business and a reliably funny comedic actor, particularly in female-driven raunchy comedies.

So why, then, does the movie treat her as second fiddle? There are occasional sparks of cleverness — one scene in which she and Maya Rudolph get to play off each other for a bit while breaking into an apartment has the feel of a buddy comedy we’d actually want to watch — but she’s a definite accessory to her not-at-all-funny puppet partner Philips, and the movie feels off-kilter as a result, like it got edited wrong.

The screenplay feels strangely distracted, too. In its early scenes, the movie seems to want — in the manner of the similarly soul-draining Bright — to use different species (elves, orcs, fairies, puppets) and their relationships with humankind to say something about race and policing. In this case, the puppets are maligned and mistreated by humans; the entire film seems set up as a comment on misconceptions about puppet-on-puppet violence.

The PI and the dame. STX Entertainment

This is already, at best, a very unsteady plot device (issues around race and policing are still about humans, for one thing). But at least Bright has the decency to keep up the theme through its entire runtime. The Happytime Murders introduces it for the first act, then more or less dumps it entirely, apparently to make room for more extended sex jokes that go nowhere.

The Happytime Murders will doubtless garner comparisons to Sausage Party, the 2016 raunchy animated hit about horny groceries. Like or hate that film, it had both an idea in its head (about religion and pluralism) and a lot of hilariously crude originality.

But The Happytime Murders seems to have recycled ideas from other raunchy puppet movies, filtered them through layers of garbage and dreck, slapped on the least imaginative noir trappings possible, and then lifelessly insisted we had better laugh, because here is another puppet making a penis joke. You know what kind of time you’ll have.

The Happytime Murders slinks into theaters on August 24.

Original Source -> The Happytime Murders turns raunchy puppet comedy into inexplicably boring dreck

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

0 notes

elusionramblebamble · 7 years

Text

It’s that time of year again, aren’t you excited? Team oMG is!

You can find team oMG on Twitter at @C_B_Catalano and @shaunaholyoak

Before we dive into our wishlist *rubs hands together* we’d like to tell you a little about ourselves, and why we can’t wait to pay it forward, and help a fellow writer out.

So, I’m Cass *wave* and this is, oh, possibly my 4th time revising this bio post. Revisions are crucial in all aspects of life, and most definitely in this contest, keeping this in mind, if you’re willing to get down and dirty with us, like kill your darlings –even the one you swore you never would– read on!

This is my first year as a Pitch Wars mentor. I am thrilled to be entering this new world with the most amazing, absolutely awesome, co-mentor Shauna Holyoak! We met a few years ago during another Twitter pitch event, and joined a group of similar contest hopefuls. And thank the stars I did because they are some of the most supportive, caring writers and CPs I’ve ever met in this journey!

PCC for life!

Let me say, (and I cannot stress how important this is), the friends you find in the writing community, especially from events like Pitch Wars, are worth their weight in gold.

If you manage to make even one friend during Pitch Wars, trust me when I say you are the ultimate winner already. Now, back to business 😉

Meet Shauna:

My name is Shauna Holyoak, and I expend roughly 25% of my energy writing and 50% of my energy resisting the urge to hunt down and consume all the frosted sugar cookies. I made a chart.

Writing MG is my favorite. My debut novel MY PAPER ROUTE AND OTHER DEADLY THINGS will be published in spring 2019 by Disney-Hyperion. Half of my writing time is currently spent pinching myself about that last part (please don’t turn that into a story problem for me to solve—it will break my brain).

I live in Idaho Falls, Idaho with my game-board designing husband, six of our children and two naughty dogs. Amy Poehler makes me happy, and Leslie Knope makes me happier.

I grew up on Ramona and Fudge books, which instilled a love for spunky, strong characters (also, see above).

And then Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry taught me just how powerful middle-grade fiction could be. So I tend toward contemporary, but MG fiction with strong characters and all the feels is ultimately what gets me.

I am so excited to be co-mentoring with Cass (she is AWESOME!) for this year’s Pitch Wars. It was my entry last year to Brooks Benjamin and Caroline Thompson’s team (spoiler alert: I didn’t make it) that got me the feedback I needed to shine up my manuscript and win a slot in #PitchSlam. That led me to the best agent (shout out to CARRIE PESTRITTO!) and then a pinch-worthy two-book deal!

Pitch Wars is a tremendous opportunity, and I’m so grateful and excited to be a part of it. Also, I can’t wait to fight over entries!

Hi y’all! I’m Cassandra Newbould aka C.B. Catalano, and I cannot wait to read all your words. And fight over entries with Shauna. We will duel to the death for a book we love!

Back in the day I was that girl who enjoyed being sent to their room, because hey! extra reading time! Anything from Little Women, to the Black Stallion. If I could hold it, I was reading it. My lust for all the words continued on through teenage-hood. That’s when I fell in love with all things fantasy, and would dive head-first into the lands of The Tortall Universe, Shannara, and Darkover to name a few. *Sometimes* when my sis and bff would sneak out to go party I’d stay home to read instead. They’d laugh, but there was nothing better than curling up with a good book, a good blanket, and a good dog in my opinion.

*curling up with Jake Gyllenhaal wouldn’t be too shabby either 😉 *

When I had my kiddos, I would spend the evenings telling them the most outrageous stories I could make up in the hopes it would send them to sleep. Eventually, as they grew, they encouraged me to write them down and so my journey as a writer began.

Last year I entered another amazing Twitter pitch event called #DVpit and that is where I met my magnificent and stellar agent, Suzie Townsend of New Leaf Literary & Media inc.

She fell in love with my MG retelling of Treasure Island: THE MISADVENTURES OF JEM HAWKINS: staring Kick-butt hacker girls, and lady pirates, and all the adventure a girl could want.

Before that, I interned for a NY literary agency for 8 months. Also, I know the ways of middle graders well. My middle son is in the 8th grade this year and my daughter made it through without too many battle wounds a few years ago 🙂

Did I mention I love to write and critique queries? Yeah, I know. But I do, I swear, and I’m happy to say my #NoQS mentee went on to get an agent 🙂 GOOO VALARIE!! so, if you have any questions about how I work as a mentor ask @ValBodden on Twitter.

My husband, a computer engineer who has run the gamut: from MySpace and creating its Open Social platform to autonomous cars for Ford, and I met as teenagers, and had our daughter when I was 22. We have been married 17 years, moved over 21 times together in over 7 states, and have 3 lovely children, 2 awesome cats, and 2 Muppet puppies, otherwise known as Newfypoos.

Seriously, Muppets.

When I’m not writing, I’m probably playing with my children, playing poker (I want to be a professional poker player when I grow up) cooking with the hubs, painting, drawing, and/or drinking wine. I love everything Baz Luhrmann (he can seriously do no wrong) and am a die-hard *end of world genre* movie buff. For TV, I adore Outlander, Black Sails, Shameless and any and every cooking/baking show known to man. Also, I cannot stop watching the tiny houses shows. I’d love to, but I can’t bring myself to.

Now to the exciting part. DUN DUN DUNNNN

What we’re looking for in a nutshell.

Middle Grade.

Give us all the feels, all of them! While Shauna leans more towards contemporary and I, fantasy we both agree we’re down for either, and welcome them with open arms –with a few minor exceptions–

If your manuscript contains any of the following we’re probably not the best mentors for you:

Younger MG, sorry but upper MG is our jam

Sports

Horror

Hard Sci-fi

Novels in verse

Now, while we aren’t the best for these stories, as we wouldn’t be able to do them the justice they deserve, we are certain you and your amazing manuscript will be able to find another mentor who will help you achieve that next level of fantastic, and we wish you the best of luck!

So what else are we looking for? Well, if any of your books have the feel of these below send them our way. Please. Pretty please with a query on top?

A Snicker of Magic

The Girl Who Drank The Moon

A Wrinkle In Time

Monstrous

Counting By Sevens

The Thing About Jellyfish

When You Reach Me

Mockingbird

Holes

Percy Jackson

Wonder

Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events

The Gauntlet

Rules For Thieves

We joyously welcome diverse and own voices stories with open arms. *grabby hands*

Give us your girl mcs that aren’t afraid of what the world thinks of them. Both likable and unlikable. Give us Hermione Grangers stuck at sea, or Katniss with an obsession for oil painting. Give us your MG Inej Gahfas, Nina Zeniks, (and we can’t forget your Kaz Brekkers), all tied up in the ultimate group heist, if you please. Give us your STEM stories (please, pretty please?) Sibling stories or complex girl friendship stories are a quick way to our hearts! 🙂

We’re down for quiet stories that tug at your heart, or action packed fantasies where the world-building blows your mind. Re-tellings set in a modern world or contemporary dramas thrown back in time. Make us laugh. Or cry. Just make us feel like we never want to put your story down!

However, having said all that, if you have a story that doesn’t fit anything we’ve said above and you feel like you want us anyway, send your ms our way. We both love surprises and can’t wait to find out what we end up falling in love with!

What we can bring to the table for you:

Helping you find a killer voice, pointing out areas that could use work without taking over your story, tackling pacing issues, building complex and believable characters, DIALOGUE! and attention to detail, or lack thereof.

*warning* If you aren’t able to attack your ms with an open mind and willingness to rip it apart and build it back even stronger, perhaps we aren’t the right mentors for you. We will never demand that something be changed, it’s your story after all and you know it best, but you entered Pitch Wars for a reason and hopefully we can help you polish your shiny jewel even farther than it is now.

Good luck fellow writers, may the odds be ever in your favor!

Have you been sitting here wondering where you can find out more about Shauna? Well, here is the link to Shauna’s blog

Shauna’s amazingly awesome blog

Shout out to Brenda Drake for this opportunity for all of us, may your reign be long and fruitful!

Main Blog Link

Links to the other spectacular mentors below:

Shari Schwarz

Shari Green

Gail Villanueva and Isabelle Adrid

Niki Lenz

Melyssa Mercado

Erin Latimer

Hannah Karena Jones

Mae Respicio

Pitch Wars Mentor Wishlist 2017 It's that time of year again, aren't you excited? Team oMG is! You can find team oMG on Twitter at @C_B_Catalano and @shaunaholyoak…

#amwriting #contest #writing #PitchWars #story

0 notes