#like i guess i came out to my parents as aroace on accident but like

[chaoticace2005]

Tagged from @xxqueenofdragonsxx I clicked new post instead of reblog on accident I guess and it would let me copy it over so I’m just gonna do it here:

1. Were you named after anyone? Yeah, my parents idea for my first name came from someone famous. Middle name is passed down through family (although I hate it)

2. When was the last time you cried? Hmm I don’t really know… a couple weeks ago?

3. Do you have kids? No, I might adopt in the future or smth because I figure there are a lot of people who need homes. And if I want to be a parent I can help out someone who needs it, rather than bringing a child into the world. (Also I’m aroace so reproduction is iffy.) But I’m gonna wait until I settle down with my career.

4. What sports do/have you played? I did a few seasons of soccer when I was younger (although I wasn’t super good) and I did a summer of water polo. But I’m not really doing anything right now. Although if there was a sport for napping I’d probably do well. Honestly I’ve gotten more bruised/Injured in theater though than sports.

5. Do you use sarcasm? Yes, sometimes, I try to make it obvious when I do though because a lot of the time what I say doesn’t come out right or lacks the correct tone. It can be hard for me to catch when others use it though.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people? Hmm I don’t really know? I kind of get a basic outline of their face and hair, and go from there. Although eye color can be someone that catches my attention, although that requires me to make eye contact which can be difficult sometimes.

7. What’s your eye color? Like golden brownish? Amber?

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings! I can’t watch horror. I already get anxious regularly, I don’t wanna make myself MORE for fun. Plus once I’m scared/set off it’s hard for me to recover, so I try to avoid stressors.

9. Any talents? I do theater sometimes, and I really like sciences.

10. Where were you born? The US

11. What are your hobbies? Reading fanfic, watching shows, puzzles, writing, walks in nature, baking.

12. Do you have any pets? 2 chihuahua mixes back with my parents, and a leopard gecko at my dorm

13. How tall are you? 5 feet. I’m short but it’s also an easy height to remember.

14. Favorite subject in school? Science! Anatomy, chemistry, biology, they’re all great!

15. Dream job? Audiologist. Working specifically to help people who may usually not have access to services and also helping to give people options when it comes to their lives. Rather than forcing a certain medical model and expectation onto them.

Tags (no pressure): @ozzersauce

#reblog game #questions

[mysunwillshineagain]

two years after the finale this show still somehow manages to queerbait its fans from the grave and honestly there's nothing quite as quintessentially supernatural as that 💀

#supernatural #just some thoughts #sunny speaks #sunny shut the fuck up #okay but literally how do you accidentally come out as bisexual #like i guess i came out to my parents as aroace on accident but like #i was aroace to begin with #this is not me asking for an explanation btw i know how it happened but just. like. misha. misha how. #spn #castiel #destiel #super hell #queerbaiting #two years after it ended this show is still queerbaiting its fans from the grave 💀 #very telling tbh

[fruitcoops]

You’ve done a few ace Reg centered fics (which I adore, thank you) what about an aro Reg centered one? Like I know you headcanon him as aroace but there’s not a lot out there for just an aro aspect if you get me. Anyway, do ignore if you don’t vibe with this. I adore your fics and I hope you have a wonderful day ♥️

AAAHHH YES!! I love that people enjoy my aroace Regulus fics! I absolutely vibe with this and had a great time revisiting my favorite runaway snake <3 Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

I

Leo sniffed the air, then leaned down and sniffed Regulus.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Is that you?”

“Is what me?” Regulus looked down at himself, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

“That smell.”

He frowned. Aside from taking a shower in the morning instead of at night, he hadn’t changed any part of his routine. Tentatively, he sniffed his shirt. “…I don’t think so?”

“GImme your hand.” Leo reached down and took it before Regulus could protest—he lifted it to his face and made a humming sound of satisfaction. “It is you. I like your hand lotion.”

“Thanks?” Regulus didn’t remember putting any lotion on that morning. It hadn’t been dry enough recently to make his knuckles crack, and ever since he left the Snakes, his blisters weren’t as severe…

A thought struck him as they headed down the next aisle. Soap.

“I’m not wearing hand lotion, but Sirius got new soap for the bathroom. Something with flowers, maybe?”

“Magnolia,” Leo said with a small smile.

“Yeah, something like that. The minty stuff was making Remus sneeze.” Regulus paused. “How do you know what flower it is?”

“Smells like home.”

He closed his eyes and breathed deep again; he had never been to New Orleans, but knowing that only made him want to go more. He laughed under his breath. “Knutty, guess what?”

“What?”

“I’m an aromatic aromantic.”

“Oh my god,” Leo groaned, shoving him away by the forehead as they rounded the corner. “You’re awful.”

“I’m hilarious,” Regulus corrected with a grin.

II

Regulus drummed his hands on the doorjamb as he popped his head into the living room. Nervous energy prickled in his stomach, though it wasn’t nearly as severe as the first time he came out.

“Do you want to join?” Sirius asked around half an Oreo, tucking his legs up. Some sci-fi action movie Regulus had never seen burst in bright colors across the TV screen; one of the Star-somethings, he thought.

“No, I just needed to talk to you. Uh, you know how I’m ace?”

Sirius sat up straighter with concern written all over his face. “Are you okay? Did someone give you shit for it?”

He shook his head and tried to ignore the dryness of his mouth. He loves you. He’ll accept you. Be cool. “No, but I’m also aromantic.”

A smile tilted one side of Sirius’ mouth up. “Merde, I thought it was going to be bad news. That’s great, Reg, thanks for letting me know. I guess I should stop looking for people to set you up with, eh?”

“Yes, please,” Regulus laughed around the clog in his chest. “Okay. Okay, cool. Um, thanks for…being cool about it.” Say ‘cool’ a little more, why don’t you?

Sirius just kept on smiling. “Any time. Anything else you want to talk about?”

“I think that covers it,” he said, clearing his throat. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

III

Regulus’ birthday had never been a big deal, even once Sirius was out of the house and it was just him and his parents. They remembered it, of course, and always wished him an absentminded ‘happy birthday’ when he came out of his room, but it never felt personal. Their gifts were especially detached: some pucks, a new stick, and a watch he would never wear were the most common.

His first birthday away from them was like nothing he had ever experienced before. Sirius organized a surprise party while the Dumais kids teamed up against him in a game of pickup hockey at the park; Regulus nearly cried when he saw the bright streamers and crowd of people that showed up for no reason other than to celebrate him for a day.

He finally fell into bed just before midnight, exhausted and all tingly with happiness. The purple, black, and gray flag on his wall caught the moon coming through his window and he smiled to himself when he saw the toppled pile of birthday cards on the dresser beneath it.

Nobody had given him anything remotely hockey-related, nor had he seen any sign of a watch. A new puzzle from Leo with magnolias on it waited on the floor by his closet; the book series Sirius got him was already in his bookshelf, perfectly filling the last bit of empty space.

There was a gentle knock on the door just before he turned his light off. “You can come in,” he called, suddenly worried. Had something happened in the twenty minutes he had been gone?

Remus stepped in with a shy smile as he fidgeted with a small package wrapped in green paper. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were getting ready for bed.”

“It’s alright.”

“This is for you.” He sat on the end of Regulus’ bed and handed him the package; it was soft, like fabric, but much too small to be clothing. “I was hiding it so you wouldn’t find it on accident and totally forgot to give it to you earlier.”

“Thanks, Remus. You didn’t have to do that.”

He shrugged. “It’s your birthday. The presents are the best part.”

The best part is being absolutely suffocated by affection from twelve Lions, Regulus thought, though he kept it to himself and picked at the shiny gold ribbon. “Can I open it?”

“Sure thing, birthday boy.”

It certainly felt like fabric when it brushed against Regulus’ fingers and he scooted closer to his bedside lamp as he pulled the wrapping paper away. Green, grey, white and black stood out in blocky stripes against the blue of his bedspread—it was slightly smaller than his ace flag, but just as beautiful.

“It’s—Erin thought you might like it. From the bookstore?” Remus was worrying at the cuff of his sleeve, as if there was any possible way Regulus wouldn’t like it. “It’s the—”

“Aromantic pride flag,” he murmured, tracing the edges and willing his voice not to crack. He swallowed hard and kept it clutched tight in his hand as he turned and wrapped his arms around Remus in a hug. “Thank you.”

Remus seemed surprised, but quickly relaxed and held him close. “Happy birthday, Reg. I’m really glad you like it.”

“Of course I like it,” he scoffed, closing his eyes as a slight prickle built behind them.

“I’m really glad you came to stay with us,” Remus said when Regulus finally pulled away. “It’s been awesome getting to know you.”

Regulus cracked a smile. “Ditto. Today was incredible, by the way.”

The clock on his nightstand beeped as midnight struck and Remus raised his eyebrows. “Oof, sorry for keeping you up.”

“Are you kidding?” Regulus laughed. “I’m a night owl. I’ll be up for ages.”

“Uh-huh, sure you will.” Remus shook his head as Regulus stifled a yawn, then stood and headed back toward the door. “Sleep tight, Reg.”

“You, too.”

Regulus curled up under the covers with the flag’s smooth fabric tucked against his face and the scent of magnolia soap winding around him. Happy birthday to me, he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

More of the Misadventures of Aish rereading Misadventures and fixing typos, like a cowardly fool because I can’t sleep

chapters 21-25 oh no here we go

(actually I did this in like November on my phone but only just now remembered that I never posted it so here ya go, this is all weeks old)

Okay so with the chapter titles, I didn’t actually start naming them until about ch27 or so, but I had already nicknamed this chapter something like “IT’S FRIENDSHIP YOU COWARDS” bc this one got a surprising amount of notes on tumblr and I’m 99% sure most of the people who read it did not realize that this is in fact a Kimax fic

And also THIS CHAPTER WAS THE TURNING POINT. I could either have kept the fic rly lighthearted until way near the end, or decide to start shoving in the Angst much quicker. 3 guesses what I picked >:D

Oh highkey same Alix?? except for me it’s not superpowers or anything it’s just called “anxiety disorder”

The obliviousness physically pains me

I’m the guard who just blatantly lets Alix steal popcorn. also why was there just casually popcorn there. god I don’t even know what I was thinking when I wrote any of this

Oh yeah I remember!! I was mad at people setting off the smoke alarm while making popcorn in the middle of the night!! just uni things am I right

...why am I noticing now that the whole popcorn thing is just a metaphor for Kim’s entire love life I am going to throw this fic out of the window I swear

IT REALLY IS, UGH I HATE THIS, ARE YOU TELLING ME I DID THAT BY ACCIDENT

this is a freaking game of Civilization where one civ takes a runaway lead in the science victory while the rest are all still stuck in the industrial era

Kim is me watching dinosaur movies too tbh, dinosaurs are so frickin rad

well this is depressing

and adorable

I hate so much that I know what the Bad Dream means I hate it I hate it I h

IT’S OKAY KIM I’M PROUD OF YOU, YOU’RE MY SON AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

“It’s not up to you to question why people care about you so just roll with it” damn past me, that’s actually some really good advice???

Alix is a Kimax shipper even this early in the fic, btw. whenever she talks to them about each other she’ll always say stuff like “oh yeah you two are so close” or “he cares about you so much” without specifying whether she means that platonically... my dudes... she’s shipping it

Kim having an existential crisis in early hours of the morning is such a mood because it’s 2am and I’m having one right now

BAD FORESHADOWING, YES BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO START HAPPENING SOON LIKE ASSASSINATIONS AND STUFF, YOU WEREN’T WRONG

Alright chapter 22 now

the carriage guards!! my favourite characters in the entire fic!!!!!! they’re the BEST okay they just casually chill at school through the entire thing and only show up again in the last chapter omg they’re so amazing I love them??? absolute LEDGES

Kim’s parents being all like “yeah if our son doesn’t wanna come home from school then just KIDNAP HIM and bring him back lmao”

“Hey, do you want me to threaten your guards with my snake or something?” WAS THAT FORESHADOWING??? BECAUSE SHE VERY MUCH DOES DO THAT LATER. TO DIFFERENT GUARDS YES BUT IT’S LEGIT A THING SHE DOES

talking on the phone is stressful? yes it’s that good old “anxiety disorder” again, really a pain tbh

god I’m so proud of Kim, already that good good character development

also Kim’s grandma is me

omg I have to put Kim and Alix’s dumb chess games in the sequel, I came up with an entire thing about how they blatantly cheat etc and it’s ridiculous and Max gets a headache whenever he has to “referee” (aka make sure they don’t fight), it’s so great okay

me: *thinks about chapter 34 and throws up*

oh I’m the snake too btw. the snake also will hate chapter 34

Max holy moly repressing your feelings isn’t healthy??? stop that

hhhhhhh chapter Lila now, like literally that’s the entire chapter 23, it’s basically just Lila

this is just the damn Volpina episode

dupainchien!!!!! dupainchien!!!!!!!!!

I know this isn’t even that much of a big deal in this fic but like... can Marinette and Adrien just get together already lmao

hskdjhdkjfhgs for the record Lila and Kim is actually a pretty good ship?? but they’d both try to out-brag each other and it would be ridiculous so uh

hm anyways. time for CHAPTER AROACE

Kim’s like. ABOUT TO start falling for Max oh thank god, I need this

Lila: *just stabs Kim’s homework with a parasol*

Kim just... Did That??? WE STAN

(oh and later note: in this he just treats Lila like how Adrien treated her in Chameleon lol)

I remember at this point I wasn’t sure if Lila would actually really return in the fic, and then literally like 2 chapters later I brought her back already because damn that girl needs a redemption arc

do I hug Kim or do I hug Max?? you FOOLS, you ABSOLUTE BUFFOONS, I am going to hug ALIX for having to deal with all their romo bullshit

Max trying to get drunk on orange juice is the mood

JULEKA’S MAGICAL GAYDAR!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!

(also Juleka is absolutely wearing a Reflekta dress)

Juleka, outright: “Max. my dude. alix is aroace you dense idiot. you are all idiots. you absolute fuckwits.”

I’m still the snake btw

hhhhhhhhhh I wanna make a daisy chain now, or just go outside and sprawl in some grass, I can’t because it’s 2.30am and I live in the city and it’s winter, screw this fic for making me miss my school days

oh no I’m having an allergic reaction again

I mEAN IT’S CUTE THO, IT’S CUTE, BUT I KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN A BIT LATER SO THIS IS JUST PAINFUL

“You need more sleep” me calling myself out

I am going to hit Kim over the head,,

STOP BEING WEIRD JUST TELL HER YOU LIKE HER?? GOOD GOD I DON’T EVEN SHIP IT AND I STILL WANT YOU TO GET A BLOODY MOVE ON

oh good, he wants to smack himself in the face too

no nonono no Alix I think you are cute too. but you see, I mean it in the adopting way. but you ARE objectively adorable (source: the Reverser episode and also like all the other episodes) people just don’t say it in this au because of your TERRIFYING PET SNAKE

she offered to give him a telephone... lov that foreshadowing

*unimpressed* “are you in love with me?” OH FUCKING FINALLY

skdfhskdjfhsd avoiding people and having a heart attack when someone knocks on your door? I see the return of that anxiety disorder eh

Alix didn’t bring the snake (me) with her on purpose bc she knows Kim is still a bit scared of it at this point and doesn’t want him to be in a bad mood while she’s crushing his heart and soul

GOD YES I LOVE THIS SCENE

I hate myself because when I was writing this I was thinking “oh mood?? oh mood worm same hat???” and yet still. didn’t. realize. I’m. aro. *le sigh*

I’m gonna cry this is so sweet

“So are bossy, intimidating, hot girls your type?” no actually because Ondine is neither bossy nor intimidating (tho yeah she is hot) (and not particularly relevant in this fic unfortunately)

Alix is not in fact as oblivious as she claims to be btw, she just thinks it would sound mean to say “oh yeah I guessed you had a thing for me but I aggressively ignored it bc it annoyed me since I’m aroace lmao”

I’m genuinely going to hecking cry omg I remember now why this was my Ultimate Brotp for so long ugh it’s so good, @ ZAG LET KIM AND ALIX BE FRIENDS

I’m laughing?? so hard??? at the fact that their height difference is so ridiculous that literally like he has to kneel down??? god this is the funniest thing

oh also btw she was internally debating with herself like “should I give him the mistletoe kiss?? sounds gross but I feel so bad for him dammit” and decided to right there on the spot because she was lowkey curious anyway, which I’ll be honest is still an aro mood

OMG I’M ACCIDENTALLY SUCH A GENIUS OMG LISTEN NO LEMME EXPLAIN

SO LIKE. there are two (2) instances in this fic where I tried to pretend to be funny by dropping in the word “heartrate”. one is near the beginning, and the other is right here

in other words, the exact start and end points of Kim’s crush on Alix?? AND I DID THAT BY ACCIDENT OMG I’VE CHANGED MY MIND I’M PROUD OF MYSELF NOW

oh... oh no. uh oh. the dreaded evil Chapter Twenty Hecking Five

it’s called “Pain” for a reason. also my OG nickname for it was “Death”. also for a reason.

I even listened to Death Valley (the FOB song) on repeat while writing it (along with the next like 9 chapters lol) because the word DEATH just seemed so accurate

no really this is THE real turning point in the fic, where it stops being just a dumb teen movie and starts being all A N G S T Y

like this is the first chapter that has NO lightheartedness AT ALL

okay. here we go

this is all??? foreshadowing??? for dumb chapters like 30 and 34??? I Hate

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE SNAKE

I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK JUST READING THESE WORDS THIS IS SO HORRIFYING ALEXA PLAY DEATH VALLEY

this is the equivalent of seeing a kwami die, for the record. like I know kwamis can’t die but THIS IS HOW IT WOULD FEEL

god this is even worse in hindsight knowing what happens later, bc poor Alix is all like @ herself “oh well it’s a nightmare so it’s not real” and I’m just like... oh dear. honey. sweetie. welp. I mean on the bright side you’re psychic so that’s kinda cool right

I love how Jalil is actually really sweet and a genuinely cool brother, you just never get to see it when Kim’s around bc he hates Kim lmao (I mean for good reasons..)

“I can’t live without this snake!” I MEAN YOU’RE NOT WRONG

these timeline powers are SO cursed man. why was I so evil and cruel holy actual shit

(the whole “some character deaths but not really” tag refers to all this clusterfuck btw)

okay it’s funny how this bit with Adrien is the Collector episode despite it not having aired yet when I wrote this, I guess I’m psychic too

Nathalie being sympathetic huh? not so much in the sequel when I get round to it...

Adrikins being all “I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER” I’m dying

uh yeah there’s a difference between being grounded, and like, literal actual house arrest

damn... capitalism really is bad

so is imperialism

fix this damn typo thing where I used the word “soon” twice in one sentence like was that really necessary

DUPAINCHIEN

I love how Kim is so obviously bi that even Marinette notices and straight-up tries to set him up with a hot commoner boy

oh noes here comes The Death

Hi Aish Snekwami, I am afraid

god imagine how horrible it must be??? to have something traumatic happen in another timeline but you’re still aware of it in this one so you still suffer the effects even though nothing bad happened in this timeline????

Max shows up for two seconds this chapter to remind everyone that I have an anxiety disorder again and then hecks off, good for him

HOLY FUCK?!?!?! IMAGINE LITERALLY DYING ACTUAL DEATH IN ANOTHER TIMELINE AND EVEN THOUGH YOU SURVIVE IN THIS ONE YOU STILL HAVE TO LIKE. FEEL THE WHOLE TIME YOU’RE DYING OF GODDAMN COBRA VENOM HOLY FUCK WHY DID I MAKE THIS SO ANGSTY

I mean I think I remember writing this when I was on a very heavy painful period which full-on incapacitated me but like even that’s nowhere near as bad as fucking. snake. bite (ye I did some research, it was creepy...)

man this is so evil... I can’t

THIS IS HOW IT FEELS TO DIE

god that’s so haunting ughhhhhhhhh

honestly whenever I stub my toe etc I always think to myself “is this karma for that time I lowkey killed Alix off in chapter 25?” and yeah, it probably is

OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH FOR NOW

#more like the misadventures of aish having anxiety #random stuff #misadventures

[lauralot89]

So I read Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp and this is not really a review at all but a bunch of spoilery rambling thoughts because I haven’t been this infuriated by a book in well over a decade and if I don’t rant about it now it’ll bother me for weeks

The book’s plot is centered around a girl’s suicide and her mental illness so if that sort of thing bothers you you should probably stop reading now

The only reason I have ever heard of this book and had any interest in reading it is because I found it in a list of YA fiction with queer main characters, and this character was aroace, something I have never seen in a book before and was really excited about.

The first warning sign came when the book was in the first person narrative, which I used to not mind but somehow all my years of reading primarily fanfiction has made me allergic to it, I guess.  The second warning was the overly ornate writing that seemed to be trying too hard to be beautiful, and oh-so-precious scenes written like screenplays instead of prose that I’m pretty sure existed just so certain emotional moments wouldn’t have to be described in the protagonist’s point of view.

The plot is that Corey, our protagonist, has spent seven months away from her tiny isolated Alaskan hometown (named Lost, because subtlety has died in unfortunate falling brick accident) following her mother’s move, and returns for a five day visit to attend a memorial for her friend Kyra following Krya’s suicide.

Kyra had been diagnosed as bipolar in her earlier teens, and since had been shunned by the townsfolk, who decided that she was dangerous and ought to be institutionalized somewhere.  So Corey is understandably confused when she returns to Lost to find that suddenly the town is praising Kyra as the greatest thing that ever happened to them and are all parroting platitudes about her death and how it was her time, Manchurian Candidate-style.  Corey resolves to find out what happened.

What happened is that Kyra took to painting when her mania refused to let her be still, and it turns out her paintings were MAGIC because she’s MAGIC and her mental illness gave her the MAGIC POWER TO PAINT THE FUTURE and so her parents took her out of therapy and withheld her medication so she could be the TOWN PROPHET and bring prosperity to their dying community with her MAGIC BIPOLAR POWERS, and they took her out of her home and and set her up in this shrine where the townspeople brought her OFFERINGS AND PRAYERS and she started painting her own death because she wasn’t getting any help and she was exhausted and sick of being fetishized and locked up, and you’d think the townspeople would be scared of losing their golden goose, but NO all she has painted MUST COME TRUE so when she tries to run away from the shrine of Romanticization of Mental Illness and falls through the ice no one tries to save her because it was FORETOLD, SO BE IT, HALLELUJAH.

Okay so.  About halfway through this book I realized the author was probably intending to make a point about the dangers of attributing magical qualities to mental illness, and the harm that putting faith over medical care does to a sick person, and maybe I was being too harsh in my intense negative reaction to everything and I was just reacting too strongly to the emotions the story inspired in me to be objective about the text, except

At the end of the whole thing, Corey just kind of accepts that she’ll never be able to change the town’s mind or convince the outside world of the truth, and briefly considers destroying Kyra’s paintings but decides not to because Kyra would want some positive memory of herself in the town, and then she leaves, stating in her narration that she doesn’t remember Kyra as a prophet like the town does, as if that’s somehow a valid point of view for them to hold, and there’s this narrative throughout about how Kyra loved folktales and l think it’s meant to imply that Kyra will live on in the town lore and Corey’s memories so at least there’s that and also Corey failed Kyra too by failing to write back to her after she moved, so really she wasn’t there for Kyra either and WHAT IN THE WHOLE FUCKING SHIT

Corey is a teenage girl who didn’t respond to letters because she was distracted with trying to fit in at a new school, and who was only receiving the letters that Kyra’s parents allowed her to send, which didn’t warn her of the situation.  Kyra’s parents were withholding necessary medication and treatment.  At some point after Corey’s family moved, the townspeople BURNED DOWN THEIR HOUSE DOWN to I guess get rid of all traces of the person who actually tried to help Kyra instead of fetishizing her, and when Corey returns and doesn’t immediately fall in line with the town’s zealotry, THEY SET THE CABIN SHE’S STAYING IN ON FIRE WITH HER INSIDE.  She’s attacked by a mob and Kyra’s father tries to MURDER HER, REPEATEDLY, in order to ensure that she can’t leave town with any proof that Kyra was suffering 

(it’s fine for Kyra to paint the walls of her shrine with “I can’t breathe” and messages about how she doesn’t feel safe, and apparently no one will try to paint over that or hide it, but somehow letters saying she’s unhappy are UNACCEPTABLE)

Corey didn’t know her friend was suicidal.  The town did know, and did absolutely nothing to prevent it.  THE SITUATIONS ARE BOTH UNFORTUNATE, BUT THEY ARE IN NO WAY COMPARABLE.

But, eh, no one will believe Corey and the three other people in the town who aren’t fanatics, so hey why bother seeking justice

you know I realize that’s a true to life tragedy for many people who are mentally ill and neglected or exploited but holy shit I read fiction for escapism and while the author was kind enough to include a list of hotlines and other resources for people who are suffering at the back, this was still one of the most hopeless and sad things I’ve ever seen

Also

YOU CAN’T HAVE A MESSAGE AGAINST ROMANTICIZING MENTAL ILLNESS WHEN YOUR CHARACTER’S MENTAL ILLNESS GIVES THEM ACTUAL MAGIC POWERS, WHICH THE NARRATIVE TELLS US KYRA HAD, AND ONLY HAD WHEN MANIC.  There are way too many prophetic paintings in the plot that have no explanation beyond ACTUAL MAGIC.  YOU CAN’T DO THAT.  IT’S LIKE THE SUPERMAN COMIC THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE AGAINST GUNS BUT SUPERMAN CLEARLY USES GUNS TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM.

IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY.

If you get something meaningful and hopeful out of this book, then honestly, good for you, I’m glad it does that for SOMEONE, but all I got out of it was feeling even more depressed and holy shit, be careful about this book if you’re feeling down or vulnerable

I can’t even bring myself to talk about the book’s portrayal of aroaceness because I’m too busy with the rage

#I guess this is a book review #suicide / #mental illness / #neglect / #abuse /