#like i am def very priveleged to be here bc you know

[hugepenishaver]

disliking us bc the culture here is fucking weird but not rlly having an option to leave atm bc of citizenship things and bc i have some of my life here figured out and bc i literally speak english better than russian at this point is just so fun and cool for me. the us has MUCH better living conditions than where i was before and like career opportunities or whatever but i lowkey hate it here

#like i am def very priveleged to be here bc you know #i can say things and not get arrested #but also i wish my family moved to europe or smth #like germany maybe #but immigration is hard #and the big acting cities or whatever are in the us mostly #raaaaahhhhh #like the opportunities i have here are good but good god americans are incredibly annoying sometimes and i just don’t feel at home here #i am very americanized and i hate it #if i wanna pursue acting in another country i would need to speak their language fluently #that would complicate thing sm #american culture is fun as a concept but actually being in it is just… ew #like when i think of american culture i just think of walmart #us culture just feels very empty #and i have a hard time adjusting to it #but russia is not at all better #it’s just depressing over there lmao #because you know #even if there’s culture #the govt just puts a bad taste in my mouth #i have a hard time calling myself russian bc i don’t want to associate with the country AT ALL #i just feel terrible abt it at times #but also us culture… ew #anyway rant over #tldr stuck between two places i don’t rlly like for opposing reasons #russia feels like home but putin #us doesn’t feel like home but it’s somewhat safe for me here #me talking