#like everyone going to read letters is going to get fucking whiplash the entire fic is not like this I prommy

[mad-c1oud]

was trying to figure out why my fic a letter to your old address was getting hella kudos out of nowhere and well uh

I see

#momma im famous #I’m sorry this is the funniest way for a fic of mine to blow up for the first time #like everyone going to read letters is going to get fucking whiplash the entire fic is not like this I prommy #taking this as a compliment btw I’ve been laughing for that last 10 minutes #happy so many people love this stupid little line #fun fact- I wrote it after actually forgetting Fit was bald and not just his cubito #it was a lil reminder lmao #mad ramblings #qsmp #qsmp fic #qsmp slimecicle #Slimecicle #qsmp fitmc #links

[bloody-bee-tea]

On the other side

Asadbatman over on Twitter wanted to see the other side of the Clan Swap fic, where Jiang Cheng gets transported into Lan Wanyin’s body and where he meets Jiang Xichen. You can find “In every timeline” here and you should probably read that one first. This comes in at 12k.

Lan Wanyin is reading over a particularly insulting letter on his favourite pier, but even that does nothing to soften the frown on his face.

Sect Leader Yao really has a lot of nerve to send this letter to Jiang Xichen who—for all intents and purposes—is a goddamn war hero now, not even to mention the Sect Leader of one of the most powerful Sects out there.

Lan Wanyin takes a deep breath and decides to deal with that letter later—much later, if he can get away with it—before he turns his attention towards the lake in front of him.

It’s a rather calming sight, and one of the reasons why this is his favourite place in Lotus Pier. The lake stretches on for longer than the eye can see, and this close to the piers, there are dozens of lotus heads gently bobbing on the water and it’s so calming and relaxing that Lan Wanyin could totally drift off here.

Except that he still has work to do, because Jiang Xichen trusts him to deal with the paperwork and this part of running a Sect even though they are not married. Yet.

But Lan Wanyin will not allow anyone to say that he’s slacking off, and even though this is a private pier there is still a chance someone might catch a glimpse of him, and so he lets out another sigh as he picks up the next letter from the stack to his side.

He wonders if the stacks always get so high, but then he remembers fondly that there is almost nothing more Jiang Xichen hates doing than paperwork and with how victorious Yunmeng Jiang came out of the Sunshot Campaign it’s understandable that everyone wants to gain a favour with Jiang Xichen.

Lan Wanyin is very pleased that Jiang Xichen allows him to be the one to formulate very polite “Fuck off” replies to them, he’s not going to lie about that.

“What are you doing?” Jiang Xichen suddenly whines from behind him and drapes himself all over Lan Wanyin’s back.

“Doing the work you pushed off on me?” Lan Wanyin gives back without even putting the letter in his hand down.

He has gotten rather used to Jiang Xichen being as tactile as he is, and Lan Wanyin is enjoying it immensely, even though he would never admit it. He would blush his way through every single word of that sentence, he just knows it, and then Jiang Xichen would tease him about it, and Lan Wanyin would blush even harder.

He knows that from experience.

“But I didn’t mean you have to do the work immediately,” Jiang Xichen sighs, but he stays where is, with his arms around Lan Wanyin’s waist and his head hooked over his shoulder.

“I’d rather get it out of the way,” Lan Wanyin says, patting Jiang Xichen’s hand on his stomach.

“You’re all work and no fun, lately,” Jiang Xichen complaints and Lan Wanyin’s mouth twists with his words.

He knows that he hasn’t been the most fun to be around lately, but one of them has to take the task of leading a Sect seriously and it certainly isn’t going to be Jiang Xichen, no matter how effortlessly he still seems to fall into the role as Sect Leader.

Lan Wanyin puts it down to his rigorous training and Lan Wanyin did not receive the same training. He was never meant to be Sect Leader, so he has a lot to catch up to, he knows that. Especially since the wedding is still a few months away.

He just doesn’t want to embarrass Jiang Xichen with his ignorance before they are even tied together.

“If you keep this up, I’ll give you something to complain about,” Lan Wanyin says with less bite than he intended to, but then again he never can be really mad at Jiang Xichen.

To underline his threat he reaches out for Sect Leader Yao’s letter and waves it in front of Jiang Xichen’s face, who makes a grimace at that, but then hides his smile in Lan Wanyin’s neck.

“Feisty. I like it,” he mutters, and Lan Wanyin doesn’t mean to, but he freezes up completely.

With how Jiang Xichen is still pressed close to him, he notices it immediately of course and Lan Wanyin can almost hear him frown.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice low and soothing, and Lan Wanyin hates that he is still like this—that the doubt is still a niggling bud in his mind—but he also can’t help it.

“If you like feisty so much, you should probably go look for my counterpart again,” Lan Wanyin says, and this comes out much more bitter than he thought it would.

It’s too telling, he knows that immediately, and Jiang Xichen pulls away for long enough to make Lan Wanyin panic before Jiang Xichen simply turns him around and pulls him into a hug.

“I don’t want your counterpart,” Jiang Xichen tells him, his voice controlled and even, and despite the way Lan Wanyin clings to Jiang Xichen he lets out a bitter laugh.

“Yeah, right,” he mutters. “You wouldn’t even have noticed me if it wasn’t for him catching your eye,” he goes on, hiding his face much more firmly in Jiang Xichen’s chest, because he doesn’t want to know what kind of face he makes at that.

But Jiang Xichen is not letting him hide; he pushes Lan Wanyin away, so that he can look him in the eye when he next speaks.

“He might have managed to catch my eye, but it’s you who kept it for years now,” Jiang Xichen tells him and Lan Wanyin blushes at his words.

Jiang Xichen has never made a secret out of the fact that he fell head over heels in love with him, but his actions speak very loudly too.

Like the fact that he not only allows Lan Wanyin into his home and family, but that he also trusts him to lead the Sect together with him. Lan Wanyin knows how much Yunmeng Jiang means to Jiang Xichen and it regularly warms his heart to know that Jiang Xichen wants to share this with Lan Wanyin.

“Shut up,” Lan Wanyin grumbles slightly, but he’s very pleased by Jiang Xichen’s answer.

“Only when you stop being stupid,” Jiang Xichen gives back and brushes a kiss over Lan Wanyin’s cheek.

“I’m not stupid,” Lan Wanyin protests more out of reflex than anything else and then he sighs. “I know you love me and it’s stupid of me to still be jealous of my counterpart,” Lan Wanyin admits.

But knowing that he is unreasonably jealous and not being jealous are two completely different things and Lan Wanyin is not doing well with the latter part.

Jiang Xichen hums at his words and manhandles him around again, until Lan Wanyin sits with his back to Jiang Xichen’s chest and Jiang Xichen hugs him close.

“You never did tell me what happened in that other world,” Jiang Xichen lowly says and Lan Wanyin shrugs.

He doesn’t think anything that happened to him in that world is worth mentioning, but he guesses that Jiang Xichen has burned to ask this question for a long while now.

“Fine,” he sighs and pulls down Jiang Xichen so he sits pressed up to his back and he puts his hands over the arms around his middle. “I’ll tell you.”

~*~*~

Lan Wanyin wakes up to someone frantically calling his name.

“Jiang Cheng? Jiang Cheng, wake up right this instant! Jiang Wanyin! Don’t make your poor brother fret like this, come on. A-Cheng? Chengcheng?”

Okay, someone calling a semblance of his name, anyway.

Lan Wanyin groans slightly, before he blinks his eyes open, and his vision is immediately filled with a mop of unruly hair and a worried face of a person Lan Wanyin has never seen before in his entire life.

“Jiang Cheng?” the person asks him and Lan Wanyin pushes him away as politely as he can.

“No,” he says, immediately startled by how deep his voice is.

He looks down at himself, to figure out if there is a visible clue as to why he was unconscious, but when he sees dark purple robes he frowns. His frown only deepens when it feels like something vital is missing.

“What is going on?” he asks the other person, who is clearly not at all reassured now that he’s awake.

“Jiang Cheng?” he is asked again and Lan Wanyin shakes his head.

“My name is Lan Wanyin,” he gives back and watches as the person goes pale at his side.

“Lan Wanyin,” he mutters and then he scrambles up to frantically gather a few papers.

Lan Wanyin watches him study them, seemingly more desperate the more he reads and when the guy looks at him Lan Wanyin can see something close to panic on his face.

“Oh fuck,” the guy mutters and then plasters a smile on his face so quickly it gives Lan Wanyin whiplash.

“I’m Wei Wuxian, nice to meet you,” he says, adopting a cheery tone that’s so obviously fake that Lan Wanyin cringes on his behalf.

“Where am I?” he asks, but when he looks around he can tell that this is the Jingshi, so he changes his question. “Why are you in my home?” he asks instead and watches as the smile on Wei Wuxian’s face falters dangerously.

“Your home, of course,” he mutters. “You’re Lan Wanyin and this is your home,” he goes on and Lan Wanyin bristles at his words.

“Yes, I am and yes it is. And I demand an explanation from you now!” he says, trying for a stern tone, but he knows it comes out much more wavering than he’d like.

“I’m sorry, this must be really stressful for you,” Wei Wuxian says, and he sounds so sympathetic that Lan Wanyin immediately has to bite back some tears.

“Just explain to me what’s going on,” he tries again and Wei Wuxian sighs, clearly about to give in, but before he can do that, someone slides open the door.

“Jiang Cheng? Wei Wuxian?” the newcomer asks and Wei Wuxian gives a fleeting smile to Lan Wanyin before he gets up and turns around to the new man that stepped into Lan Wanyin’s home uninvited.

He’s wearing the customary Lan white—he even has a forehead ribbon—but Lan Wanyin has never seen him in his life and he frowns at him. All that does though, is making it startling clear that he’s missing his own forehead ribbon, and suddenly Lan Wanyin feels entirely too naked.

“Lan Xichen,” Wei Wuxian says with a nod of his head. “Meet Lan Wanyin,” he then goes on with a nod towards Lan Wanyin, who is still on the ground, and Lan Wanyin scrambles to get up.

It’s a little bit strange, this new body; he seems to be taller and broader than he’s used to being and he fumbles around for a second before he falls into an appropriate bow.

“What is going on?” Lan Xichen wants to know, his expression bordering on outright pained and sad, and Lan Wanyin turns expectant eyes on Wei Wuxian because he is still expecting an answer to that very same question as well.

“It seems that my spell did not work as intended,” Wei Wuxian says with a wince and Lan Wanyin watches as Lan Xichen’s eyebrows rise on his forehead.

“What spell?” he asks with the voice of a man who is too used to dealing with mishaps and problems and keeping his own feelings on the matter very far removed, and Lan Wanyin frowns.

“Are you the Sect Leader?” he asks, because he has seen his brother make a very similar face when he’s faced with one of the junior disciple’s shenanigans.

“Technically I’m—it’s complicated,” Lan Xichen finally settles on, but when Lan Wanyin keeps his baffled expression he goes on. “I used to be,” he finally admits.

“Xichen-ge,” Wei Wuxian whispers, clearly a lot of history behind that one sentence, but Lan Wanyin is too stuck on the informal way with which Wei Wuxian refers to him.

“Where’s my brother? And how dare you refer to your elder as disrespectfully as that?” Lan Wanyin suddenly asks, filled with the desperate need to see someone familiar, to have his brother look out for him like he always does, and he doesn’t even care that his tone is very close to whining but he also has their Sect’s rules ingrained in his bones and he cannot let disrespectful behaviour like that stand without even trying to correct it.

“Lan Wangji?” Lan Xichen asks, clearly only guessing and Lan Wanyin nods frantically. “He’s out on a night hunt. It should still be a day or so before he comes back. He’s accompanying the juniors.”

“I want to see him,” Lan Wanyin says, knowing that he shouldn’t be making demands of people he doesn’t even know, but he needs to see a familiar face.

“We can’t call him back,” Wei Wuxian gently says. “We’ll have to wait until Lan Zhan returns on his own.”

Lan Wanyin freezes when he hears that name, because even he doesn’t dare to call his brother that and he can feel his temper spike again, before he takes a deep and calming breath.

“Could you please not refer to my brother like this? You have no rights to do so,” Lan Wanyin says in what he thinks is an appropriately calm voice.

“What should I call him then?” Wei Wuxian asks, a mischievous smile on his face. “Lan-er-gege?” he asks and Lan Wanyin goes hot under the collar.

“How dare you call me that?” he hisses out and watches as Wei Wuxian’s eyes go big and how Lan Xichen presses his lips together.

Lan Wanyin is not sure if it’s in an attempt to hide a smile or because to keep some words in.

“Wei Wuxian,” Lan Xichen reprimands him and Wei Wuxian does seem appropriately chastised, if only for a second.

“You’re the younger brother?” Wei Wuxian asks, clearly embarrassed for a moment and Lan Wanyin nods.

“I’m sixteen,” he answers and now both of them pale.

“Oh fuck,” Wei Wuxian answers and even though Lan Xichen doesn’t look like he would ever utter such crude words he nods with emphasis.

“Lan Wanyin, Wei Wuxian is Wangji’s husband,” Lan Xichen gently tells him and Lan Wanyin goes still.

His brother is way too young to marry but he guess that’s not the case in this world.

“How old is he?” Lan Wanyin carefully asks and Wei Wuxian shrugs.

“Over thirty. You are too, in the body you’re currently in,” he explains and Lan Wanyin needs to sit down for a moment.

This is not what he expected.

“I want to go home,” Lan Wanyin whispers, suddenly feeling small and young despite the body he is in, and he watches as Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian share a look.

“I’ll work on reversing the spell, but I don’t know how long it will take,” Wei Wuxian finally says and Lan Wanyin deflates.

“It’s probably best if we leave him to it,” Lan Xichen chimes in, giving Lan Wanyin a reassuring smile. “How do you feel about staying with me for the time being?”

Lan Wanyin is not feeling anything about that despite the aching urge to go home, so he simply nods.

“I’m sorry about imposing,” he says with a small bow and Wei Wuxian makes a startled noise at his side.

“If anyone’s imposing, it’s us, since we dragged you here against your will,” he says and Lan Wanyin wants to snap at him that he’s damn right about that, but he only nods.

Snapping would be rude, after all.

“Wei Wuxian will get you back home,” Lan Xichen promises and Lan Wanyin pretends that he doesn’t see how Wei Wuxian winces at that.

It doesn’t spark confidence in Lan Wanyin, but then again Wei Wuxian did drag him here, so he should be capable of sending him back too.

Neither of them comment on Wei Wuxian’s slip of face though, and when Lan Xichen motions for Lan Wanyin to follow him, he does so without another word.

The trek to Lan Xichen’s home is silent, but it’s not long before Lan Wanyin recognizes the path they are taking and unease grows in his gut.

Logically it makes sense that Lan Xichen would live in the Hanshi if he is the older brother, but Lan Wangji is very protective of his space—always has been—and so Lan Wanyin hasn’t set foot into the Hanshi more than a couple of times in his life.

The thought that he’s going to live there for the time being makes him feel slightly sick and he tries to subtly reach out for the trailing ends of his forehead ribbon, but of course his hands come back empty.

“It’s not much, but I hope you can relax here a bit,” Lan Xichen says as he invites him into the Hanshi, and Lan Wanyin hesitates a moment before he follows him inside.

“This is not where you usually stay,” Lan Xichen mildly observes and Lan Wanyin shakes his head. 

“My brother lives in the Hanshi,” he explains and Lan Xichen nods.

“I suppose that would make sense, if he is the older one this time,” Lan Xichen says with a shrug and then busies himself with getting some tea ready.

Lan Wanyin observes him, and he takes note of the slightly shaking hands and the way Lan Xichen avoids looking directly at him.

“I’m—I shouldn’t be here,” Lan Wanyin finally whispers, and Lan Xichen jerks with his words.

“Wei Wuxian will work very hard to get you back to your world,” he promises. “You’re occupying his brother’s body, he’s personally invested. It’s a good motivator,” Lan Xichen whispers and Lan Wanyin frowns at his tone.

“His brother,” he mutters and then walks over to the mirror in Lan Xichen’s home.

Lan Wanyin takes a long moment to simply look himself over and he’s not sure he likes what he sees. Jiang Cheng’s body is older—of course it is—but it’s also a lot broader than Lan Wanyin is used to. It seems battle hardened. 

His face at least is much the same—even though it looks empty without the forehead ribbon—though of course he seems more mature.

“Jiang Cheng doesn’t usually smile like you do,” Lan Xichen suddenly says from behind him and Lan Wanyin thinks that over for a moment before he schools his expression into a frown.

“That’s more like it,” Lan Xichen says with a wistful chuckle and Lan Wanyin keeps the expression for a while longer.

Jiang Cheng is still handsome, even with a frown, but it also makes him look fierce and unapproachable and Lan Wanyin doesn’t like that at all. He quickly drops the frown, watching as his features smooth out into his much softer ones.

“Do you want a forehead ribbon?” Lan Xichen suddenly asks him and Lan Wanyin whips around.

“What?” he asks, though he can’t deny that the answer would be a very resounding yes.

“I noticed you keep reaching out for it,” Lan Xichen explains and Lan Wanyin flushes when he realizes that he must have done it unconsciously. 

“I can’t take your forehead ribbon,” Lan Wanyin says, appalled at just the idea of it, but Lan Xichen shakes his head.

“I have some spare ones,” he says and walks away to retrieve one of those. “I used to look after this one rowdy kid,” Lan Xichen says with a smile when he sees Lan Wanyin’s confused look. “He needed a few new ones every day and I didn’t have the heart to throw them out once he grew up.”

“I see,” Lan Wanyin whispers and takes the offered ribbon with shaking hands.

He does quick work with tying it around his forehead and he has to admit that he does feel better once it’s tied snugly.

“Thank you,” he says sincerely to Lan Xichen and after one last look into the mirror—now much more familiar than before—he turns away from it.

“If Wei Wuxian is my brother in this world, then where is he in my world?” Lan Wanyin asks Lan Xichen, mostly to have something to talk about.

“I don’t know,” Lan Xichen answers with a shrug. “If Wangji is your brother in your world, then where am I?”

“I don’t know,” Lan Wanyin whispers. “I don’t even know Wei Wuxian.”

“You’re sixteen?” Lan Xichen wants to know and he hums when Lan Wanyin nods. “Did you participate in the classes already?”

“No,” Lan Wanyin mumbles. “They are about to start in less than two weeks. I’m going to miss them, aren’t I?” Lan Wanyin asks, and he feels strangely despondent at that thought.

He’s going to miss out on so much.

“Wei Wuxian will do his hardest to send you back. The classes last the whole summer, right? You’ll probably have some time to get to know the other students,” Lan Xichen tries to reassure him, but Lan Wanyin is not convinced. 

Wei Wuxian hasn’t looked all that confident before; he’ll probably be here for longer than either of them cares about.

“Jiang Cheng,” Lan Xichen suddenly says and Lan Wanyin tenses before he realizes that Lan Xichen doesn’t mean him. “Do you think he’ll be alright in your world?”

“I think so,” Lan Wanyin says without hesitation. “My brother will look after him.”

“That’s good then,” Lan Xichen says with a small smile and then he busies himself with the tea again.

They spend the rest of the afternoon with soft conversation, comparing notes on the different worlds, but it becomes clear to Lan Wanyin pretty quickly that Lan Xichen is skirting around a lot of topics.

Lan Wanyin is honestly too scared to ask and so he allows the topics to be shallow and safe.

Night has already fallen by the time footsteps approach the Hanshi and both Lan Xichen and Lan Wanyin perk up. 

There’s a polite knock on the door before it slides open and Lan Wanyin has to fight the rush of relief to see his brother.

“Xiongzhan,” Lan Wangji greets, and the word sounds exceedingly strange on Lan Wangji’s lips.

Lan Wanyin doesn’t even have time to process the fact that Lan Wangji is looking at Lan Xichen instead of himself, when he’s already bowing.

“Xiongzhan,” he says, too, and then he shrinks back when Lan Wangji gives him a bone-chilling glare.

“Wangji, this is Lan Wanyin,” Lan Xichen explains but Lan Wangji’s look only gets darker at that.

“If you have to marry anyone, why does it have to be him?” Lan Wangji asks and Lan Wanyin reels back as if he has been hit.

“Wangji,” Lan Xichen snaps, stepping closer to Lan Wanyin. “Do not forget your manners. This is Lan Wanyin from another world. One of your husband’s experiments went very wrong, and you would do well to be polite to our guest. To any guest.”

Lan Wangji doesn’t lose his hostile look, but he at least bows to Lan Wanyin, even if he doesn’t apologize.

“I’ll be checking on my husband then,” Lan Wangji says, immediately leaving the Hanshi and Lan Wanyin can do nothing but stare after him.

This is not how he imagined meeting his brother would go over and he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself now.

“I am so sorry,” Lan Xichen says. “There’s some history between Jiang Cheng and Wangji.” Lan Xichen winces at his own words and then goes on. “It’s still no excuse. He should at least remember his manners.”

Lan Wanyin can’t even nod at that, because he is still too shocked. He has never heard his brother sound that cold, not even when dealing with people he doesn’t like. To have it directed at himself is certainly an experience Lan Wanyin could have done without.

“I think I would like to sleep now,” Lan Wanyin eventually whispers and Lan Xichen’s face falls. 

“Should I send for some dinner first?” he asks, already half up, but Lan Wanyin shakes his head.

“I just want to sleep,” he mumbles and Lan Xichen sighs.

“Alright,” he thankfully agrees and setting up a second bed is short work, so soon enough Lan Wanyin is laying down.

He doesn’t fight the urge to pull the blanket over his head and he also can’t help the few tears that escape, but he’s proud that he doesn’t outright sob, even though he absolutely feels like it.

He tries to convince himself that tomorrow will be better and that he will be back home soon, and Lan Wanyin falls asleep clinging to that hope.

~*~*~

Breakfast is a quiet affair. Lan Wanyin understands that it’s not quite acceptable for him to go to the communal breakfast, even though he would like that. But outsiders are not allowed and for all that Lan Wanyin is very much a Lan, Jiang Cheng—whose body he’s currently inhabiting—is most definitely not and so Lan Wanyin can’t go there.

Lan Xichen stays with him though and breakfast passes quickly like that.

Lan Wanyin is still thinking about his meeting with Lan Wangji—more like fretting over it—when they hear another set of footsteps approaching the Hanshi.

“Oh no,” Lan Xichen whispers, before he gets up, clearly recognizing the steps, but before he can reach the door someone knocks on it. Very insistently and loudly.

“Lan Xichen!” that person yells and Lan Xichen is quick to slide the door open, but he tries his best to block the person from looking inside.

“How dare you?” the person hisses and Lan Wanyin sees Lan Xichen wince.

“Jin Ling—” he starts, but Jin Ling doesn’t let him talk.

“You call my jiujiu away on urgent business and now you refuse to let him leave again? How dare you? Let me see him at once!” he demands and Lan Wanyin gets up, because he figures it’s kind of inevitable that he’ll have to introduce himself.

“Listen, Jin Ling, there’s been an accident,” Lan Xichen starts and Lan Wanyin thinks this might not be the best way to break the news to Jin Ling about his uncle.

“If he got hurt on your watch I will make you regret it,” Jin Ling says, and Lan Wanyin is surprised at the confidence with which he says it.

Lan Xichen shakes his head, but before he can figure out how to explain this to Jin Ling, he pushes his way into the Hanshi.

“Jiujiu!” Jin Ling calls out but when his gaze falls on Lan Wanyin he freezes.

“If you married Lan Xichen without telling me I will never speak to you again,” he then says, voice deceptively calm and Lan Wanyin rushes to clear the situation up.

“We didn’t marry,” he says and he’s proud that he only flushes a little bit.

A side-glance at Lan Xichen reveals that he’s doing much worse, because his face is bright red.

“Then what the hell is going on?” Jin Ling demands to know.

“Language,” Lan Wanyin says out of reflex and he is surprised at the pained look on Lan Xichen’s face at that.

“I’ll watch my language if you explain to me what you’re doing here, in Lan Xichen’s personal quarters, with what seems to be his forehead ribbon.”

“It’s a spare one,” Lan Xichen chimes in. “And he’s not actually Jiang Cheng,” he then belatedly says and Lan Wanyin thinks that maybe he should have led with that.

“What do you mean? It’s clearly my jiujiu,” Jin Ling says, already puffing himself up as if he’s gearing up for a fight.

“My name is Lan Wanyin. I’m from another world,” he rushes to explain but the frown on Jin Ling’s face only gets more pronounced.

“That doesn’t make sense,” he decides then and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“One of Wei Wuxian’s experiments went wrong,” Lan Xichen says and it seems like that makes much more sense to Jin Ling because his face falls.

“What?” he whispers and now Lan Wanyin can finally see that he’s just a teenager.

“I’m really sorry,” Lan Wanyin says but Jin Ling shakes his head.

“I want my jiujiu back,” he says and Lan Wanyin can understand that feeling—he wants his brother back, too—but there’s not much he can do about that right now.

“I wish I could just swap us back,” Lan Wanyin says. “But we have to wait until Wei Wuxian figures out how to switch us back.”

“How is my jiujiu? Is he alright?” Jin Ling wants to know, but it’s again something Lan Wanyin can’t tell him for sure.

“He should be. I was at home when it happened, so he should have woken up safe and sound. And there’s not much that can happen to him in the Cloud Recesses.”

“Does he have someone to look out for him?” Jin Ling asks, and his voice is small.

“Of course he does,” Lan Wanyin tells him, frowning when he sees Lan Xichen shaking his head at him. “My brother will make sure that he’s alright.”

“Your brother? Lan Xichen?”

“No. Lan Wangji,” Lan Wanyin says, smiling slightly when he remembers just how protective his brother can be and so he nearly misses the way Jin Ling’s face falls again.

“What?” he hisses and then whirls around to Lan Xichen. “He’s alone with him?”

“As far as I understand it, there is no Jiang Cheng in his world. Wangji has no reason to hold a grudge against him.”

“But you don’t know it,” Jin Ling bitterly says and then turns back around to Lan Wanyin.

“How can you be this calm? My jiujiu is missing and you’re not even doing anything” he asks them, but Lan Wanyin shrugs.

“There’s nothing much we can do,” he says, even though he wishes it were different too. “We just have to wait for Wei Wuxian to reverse the spell.”

“And you’re just okay with that?” Jin Ling asks, now turned towards Lan Xichen again.

“Like he says, there’s not much we can do,” Lan Xichen apologetically says but it seems to have been the wrong thing, because Jin Ling huffs.

“I hate you,” he hisses. “I hate you both and I want you gone,” he then adds towards Lan Wanyin and promptly storms out of the Hanshi.

His words sting, even though Lan Wanyin understands that his emotions are most likely running rampant right now.

“He doesn’t mean it,” Lan Xichen tells him after a long moment of silence. “He just loves Jiang Cheng more than anyone else in this world and he’s clearly not doing well with his absence.”

“I see,” Lan Wanyin whispers and he gets it.

He isn’t doing well without Lan Wangji either, but at least his manners prevent him from breaking down or lashing out like Jin Ling just did.

“He’ll probably be back soon to apologize,” Lan Xichen prophesises but Lan Wanyin doubts it. “His parents died and Jiang Cheng raised him. I know he taught him more manners than this, but Jin Ling is a very emotional boy.”

“You seem to know them very well,” Lan Wanyin says with a small frown and watches as Lan Xichen’s cheeks go slightly red.

“We are—were fellow Sect Leaders. It’s only natural that we got to know each other.”

Lan Wanyin doesn’t want to ask about his correction there, though he can’t deny that he is curious what could have possibly made Lan Xichen step down from that position. But Lan Wanyin is too polite to ask about something that so very clearly still brings pain to Lan Xichen, and so they fall into silence again.

It’s not uncomfortable—at least not entirely—but Lan Wanyin finds himself fiddling with the ring around his finger more than he probably should.

He didn’t yet have a chance to look at it clearly, but he figures there’s nothing else to do for now, and so he raises his hand closer to his face, so he can take a better look.

The motion gets Lan Xichen’s attention immediately of course, but he stays silent for now.

Lan Wanyin inspects the ring with the utmost care, and he realizes soon enough that it’s a spiritual tool, but he’s not sure how to use it or if he even wants to.

“It turns into a whip,” Lan Xichen eventually chimes in and Lan Wanyin startles slightly, he was that engrossed in the intricate details on the ring. “It’s the Yu family heirloom. Jiang Cheng got it from his mother. It’s called Zidian.”

“What form does the whip take?”

“Purple lightning.” Lan Xichen hesitates briefly. “Would you like to try it out?”

“I—" Lan Wanyin starts, but then he doesn’t know how to finish that. 

It’s likely that he will have more than enough time on his hands here, since he doesn’t have his usual classes or chores to attend to, but right now Lan Wanyin doesn’t feel like doing anything. 

“I would like to meditate,” he finally says, allowing himself one day off in all this madness.

Lan Xichen doesn’t seem like he minds that much, because he very earnestly offers to accompany him to the cold springs, and Lan Wanyin would love to tell him no, but he knows that he’s in the body of an outsider, so seeing him at the cold springs without proper supervision would probably upset other Sect members.

There is nothing for Lan Wanyin to do but to agree.

It’s not so bad, in the end, because Lan Xichen has a very reserved nature it seems—not unlike Lan Wanyin’s own—and meditating next to him is easy.

Easy enough that the day goes by quickly and before Lan Wanyin knows it, he’s back in the Hanshi, with only Lan Xichen as his company during dinner.

Lan Wanyin finds himself wishing that he could see more of his brother, but then he remembers the tense atmosphere and Lan Wangji’s cold stare and Lan Wanyin figures it’s better that Lan Wangji doesn’t come around more often.

He kind of wonders over Wei Wuxian’s absence—since he’s apparently inhabiting Wei Wuxian’s brother’s body—but when Lan Wanyin brings it up to Lan Xichen he simply shrugs.

“Wei Wuxian is most likely doing his level best to send you back,” he explains and Lan Wanyin can’t quite hide the bitter twist of his mouth.

It has nothing to do with returning him to where he came from; it has everything to do with getting Jiang Cheng back.

“He would do the same for you if Jiang Cheng was still here,” Lan Xichen says, clearly reading the thought right off Lan Wanyin’s face and not for the first time does Lan Wanyin wonder if he is just that easy to read or if Lan Xichen is that familiar with Jiang Cheng.

“He made a mistake and he’s rushing to fix it. Not to mention that it’s probably driving him insane that he can’t figure out why his original spell went so wrong,” Lan Xichen says but the exasperation in his voice tells Lan Wanyin that this isn’t the first instance of Wei Wuxian going mad over something he caused himself.

Lan Wanyin wonders how Wei Wuxian can possibly fit into the Lan Sect, but if he and Lan Wangji are married, then at least Lan Xichen must have approved of it.

That thought spirals into imagining if Lan Wanyin’s own brother would approve of him marrying someone like Wei Wuxian—not that Lan Wanyin can imagine himself doing so—and he gets hit with a wave of homesickness.

It ruins his appetite rather thoroughly.

“I’m tired,” Lan Wanyin says as he puts his bowl down, trying not to notice Lan Xichen’s worried gaze on him.

Lan Wanyin doesn’t wait for a dismissal, and simply gets up to retire to bed. He hears Lan Xichen rummage around, but the noises are quiet and unobtrusive and Lan Wanyin quickly drifts off, even plagued by worries as he is.

~*~*~

The days don’t pass quickly enough for Lan Wanyin’s taste and soon enough he feels trapped inside the Hanshi. He’s not used to being so idle; in his world he has duties to fulfil and classes to attend but here there is nothing for him to do but sit and wait, and he has never been good at either of those things.

“I think I want to practice with Zidian,” Lan Wanyin says apropos of nothing one morning and Lan Xichen doesn’t seem as startled by that as Lan Wanyin expected him to be.

“Of course,” he quickly agrees and Lan Wanyin narrows his eyes at him, watching as Lan Xichen smiles slightly.

“You’re not as different to Jiang Cheng as you might think,” he says with a shrug. “Both of you don’t deal well with just sitting around; I was just waiting for you to get bored enough to say something.”

Lan Wanyin blinks at that.

“I had duties in my world,” is what he finally says.

“And I’m sorry you can’t carry them out here. You can help me with some of the paperwork later, if you want. It’s nothing important, but it would give you something to do.”

Lan Wanyin doesn’t comment on the nothing important part, but he can’t deny that he’s curious. Lan Wanyin is absolutely sure that Lan Xichen used to be Sect Leader and to hear that his paperwork is nothing serious just feels wrong. Even if he no longer is Sect Leader, if he stepped down for whatever reasons, people should still seek him out for his expertise and knowledge.

Lan Wanyin is on the cusp of asking, when Lan Xichen abruptly turns away from him, walking out of the Hanshi and clearly expecting Lan Wanyin to follow him.

Lan Wanyin swallows his questions down and trails after Lan Xichen to the training grounds.

“Do you have a spiritual tool?” Lan Xichen asks him and Lan Wanyin nods.

“I play the xiao,” he says and Lan Xichen looks startled.

“You—of course you do,” he finally says and Lan Wanyin frowns at him until he explains. “I do, too. It truly does seem like you have my place in your world. Maybe I do have your place, then, in Yunmeng Jiang,” he muses and Lan Wanyin promises himself to find out about Lan Xichen’s whereabouts, once he’s back in his own world.

“How does this help me with Zidian?” Lan Wanyin wants to know, and shakes himself out of these useless thoughts.

He can do nothing as long as he’s here, in this world, so there’s no point in making plans for now.

“If you already know how to use a spiritual tool, channelling energy into Zidian will be easier,” Lan Xichen explains and Lan Wanyin flushes, because he should have realized that himself.

Lan Wanyin takes a deep breath and pushes his embarrassment far away, because it’s never helpful while practicing and instead he concentrates on channelling energy into Zidian, just like he usually would with his xiao.

It doesn’t take long at all for Zidian to spark purple and then suddenly it’s no longer a ring, but a whip in Lan Wanyin’s hand.

“Very good,” Lan Xichen says with a smile and then steps away from Lan Wanyin, clearly giving him space. “Try it out,” he encourages him and Lan Wanyin does just that.

Controlling the whip is much harder than he imagined it to be, though. He can feel some confused resistance from Zidian, and Lan Wanyin is surprised to find that the tool notices that he’s not its usual master.

Jiang Cheng really has quite the priceless weapon at his disposal.

During the course of the next hour Lan Wanyin whips himself on accident more often than he really cares to admit, but it only plays into his stubborn streak; he is going to master this tool, and if he comes out of it bloody, then so be it.

“I think you need to arch it further over your head,” Lan Xichen suddenly says from the side and Lan Wanyin startles so badly he nearly whips himself in the face.

He completely forgot that Lan Xichen was there.

“Sorry,” Lan Xichen says with a grimace.

“How would you know how to use Zidian?” Lan Wanyin asks him, frustrated by his lack of progress so far, so his voice comes out more biting than it should. He takes a deep breath to calm himself before he goes on. “Have you used it before?”

“No,” Lan Xichen rushes out, blushing at the suggestion. “But Wanyin and I fought in the same war; we have been on some night-hunts together as well. It’s hard to miss how he uses Zidian,” Lan Xichen explains and Lan Wanyin frowns at him.

He still tries to do what Lan Xichen told him to and to his surprise it works out quite well. Lan Wanyin is aware that his posture is not perfect, but he’s getting there and he thinks with a bit more practice he could master Zidian, especially now that it seems to have accepted him.

Lan Xichen continues to give him a few more valuable tips and while Lan Wanyin does try each and every single one of them out, he can’t help the nagging thought in his head when Lan Xichen keeps talking.

“You’re in love with him,” Lan Wanyin says out of the blue after yet another successful manoeuvre and Lan Xichen freezes on the spot.

“You are,” Lan Wanyin says, taking Lan Xichen’s reaction as confirmation and then he watches as Lan Xichen goes red, before all colour drains from his face.

“I am not,” he tries to deny, but it’s a little bit too late for that. “Why would you think that?”

“You don’t learn these kind of tricks by picking up on a few things during night-hunts,” Lan Wanyin says, calling Zidian back and returning it to its ring form. “To notice the things you notice you’d have to watch him pretty closely.”

Lan Xichen opens his mouth as if to argue, but he can’t seem to find his words and so in the end he simply closes his mouth again.

“Have you ever told him?” Lan Wanyin wants to know and is surprised by the bitter laugh Lan Xichen lets out.

“Of course not,” he whispers and then looks away from Lan Wanyin. “I’ve been in love with him for so long, but I never dared to say anything. And now it’s just—” he trails off with a shrug and Lan Wanyin wonders just what the hell happened for Lan Xichen to think like that but before he can ask anything else, Jin Ling approaches them.

“You can wield Zidian,” he says, and it sounds so accusatory that Lan Wanyin flinches.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes and has half a mind just offering the tool to Jin Ling for safekeeping when Jin Ling lets out a rough breath.

“I’m here to apologize,” he says, not looking at Lan Wanyin directly, but he seems very determined.

“There’s no need for that,” Lan Wanyin says, because he can understand why Jin Ling freaked out when he realized that it wasn’t his jiujiu he was talking to.

“There is. It’s not your fault you’re here and I don’t hate you. I’m sorry I said it,” Jin Ling says, clearly uncomfortable with the apology, but he’s still doing it and Lan Wanyin thinks that Jiang Cheng really did a great job, raising him.

“It’s alright. Thank you,” Lan Wanyin says and once that is out, Jin Ling looks at him.

“I just miss my jiujiu,” he says, voice small, and Lan Wanyin notices yet again that Jin Ling barely looks older than Lan Wanyin is.

“I miss my xiongzhan too,” Lan Wanyin admits and Jin Ling nods.

“I’m sorry I can’t be around too much, but I have a Sect to lead, too,” Jin Ling says, and Lan Wanyin aches for him because no one that young should ever have to shoulder that kind of responsibility.

Lan Wanyin knows he couldn’t.

“It’s alright,” he says, because he guesses it’s only partly that, and mostly the fact that Jin Ling can’t bear to look at him and know that it’s not actually Jiang Cheng, and he’s not holding it against him.

Jin Ling nods brusquely at that, and then turns to Lan Xichen.

“I expect a proper courtship afterwards and you damn well better ask me for permission,” he hisses at Lan Xichen and then he simply stalks off again.

“Everyone seems to know you’re in love with Jiang Cheng,” Lan Wanyin mildly observes, thinking back to what Lan Wangji had said too and he watches as Lan Xichen blushes slightly again.

“It doesn’t matter. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know and he doesn’t feel the same way, and there’s no chance that will change now,” he gives back and he sounds more composed than Lan Wanyin expected him to.

“How would you know if you never confessed?”

“You’re not wrong. I have watched him a great deal. So trust me when I say that he doesn’t. Jiang Cheng is never subtle with his feelings and especially not when he loves.”

“Is he in love with someone else?”

“I don’t think so,” Lan Xichen admits.

“Then there’s hope for you,” Lan Wanyin shrugs, even though he can’t be sure of that at all.

He doesn’t know Jiang Cheng after all, but if he came here on Lan Xichen’s request—in a rush nonetheless, too, if he didn’t properly explain things to Jin Ling—then he must at least treasure their friendship.

“Thank you for saying that,” Lan Xichen whispers though he doesn’t sound convinced at all and Lan Wanyin turns away from him.

He doesn’t feel like practicing with Zidian anymore and the encounter with Jin Ling just reminded him who he is missing as well.

“I wonder how xiongzhang and shufu are doing,” Lan Wanyin mutters and startles when Lan Xichen puts a hand to his shoulder.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to go see Wangji, but we can go visit shufu,” Lan Xichen says and Lan Wanyin turns towards him, his eyes wide.

He hadn’t dare to ask after Lan Qiren, too scared that he wouldn’t like the answer, and since no one had brought him up either, Lan Wanyin had half convinced himself that Lan Qiren didn’t exist in this world at best or was dead at worst.

He never dared to contemplate this.

“Can we?” he asks and Lan Xichen nods with a smile.

“Of course,” he agrees and then leads Lan Wanyin away from the training grounds.

Lan Xichen doesn’t act like Lan Wanyin has to pretend with Lan Qiren, so Lan Wanyin guesses he must have been told about what happened.

His suspicions are confirmed when Lan Qiren greets them.

“Xichen, Lan Wanyin,” he says with a nod and they both bow to him.

“Shufu,” they say in unison and despite the tight feeling in his chest Lan Wanyin has to hide a smile.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Lan Xichen says and promptly leaves Lan Wanyin alone with Lan Qiren who motions for him to sit.

“How are you doing?” Lan Qiren asks him and Lan Wanyin has to fight against the tears.

His uncle is exactly the same here in this world and Lan Wanyin feels so homesick, it threatens to overwhelm him.

“Good,” he somehow gets out, even though his voice is all choked up.

“I see you got a forehead ribbon,” Lan Qiren says, and while he doesn’t say it with any form of judgement Lan Wanyin rushes to explain.

“It’s not Lan Xichen’s! It’s a spare one! Nothing inappropriate happened.”

“A shame,” Lan Qiren mutters. “And here I thought the only nephew with taste would also finally be man enough to do something about it.”

Lan Wanyin presses his lips together, because apparently really everyone knows about Lan Xichen’s feelings for Jiang Cheng but when he sees the twinkle in Lan Qiren’s eyes he allows himself to smile.

“Maybe they will figure it out eventually,” he says and Lan Qiren sighs.

“Maybe,” he agrees, though it seems like he long ago gave up hope for that.

“Do you like Jiang Cheng? Would you approve of him?” Lan Wanyin asks, even though the answer seems pretty clear.

“Yes,” Lan Qiren easily admits and he doesn’t explain anything, so he really must hold Jiang Cheng in very high regards if he thinks it should be that obvious.

“He will come back to you all, soon,” Lan Wanyin whispers, hoping that he is missed in his own world just as dearly as Jiang Cheng is being missed here.

“He no doubt will,” Lan Qiren agrees but then he reaches out and cups Lan Wanyin’s cheek in his hand, stunning Lan Wanyin into stillness.

“But until then we’re all very happy to have you,” Lan Qiren says and Lan Wanyin swallows against his emotions. “Now,” Lan Qiren says and clears his throat. “How do you feel about a lesson?”

“I feel very good about that, shufu,” Lan Wanyin admits and when Lan Qiren falls right into explaining something Lan Wanyin feels settled.

It feels a lot more like home this way.

~*~*~

Lan Wanyin continues to spend his days training with Zidian before he goes to Lan Qiren for a lesson. Like this it doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on so much back in his own world, and the Lan Qiren of this world is just like the Lan Qiren of Lan Wanyin’s world.

Strict, but loving and Lan Wanyin wonders if he ever thought to appreciate that before.

He doesn’t see much of Lan Xichen for a few days, because he leaves Lan Wanyin to his own devices more often than not, but when he returns to the Hanshi in the evenings Lan Xichen seems troubled and stressed but he won’t talk about it, no matter how often Lan Wanyin asks.

Jin Ling seems to be staying in the Cloud Recesses, too, because he sees flashes of his golden robes more than once, but Lan Wanyin is in no rush to bother him again.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian continue to be evasive, but it’s not like Lan Wanyin saw much of them before so their absence doesn’t seem all that strange.

Until he walks back into the Hanshi, almost three weeks into his stay in this world, and everyone is there waiting for him.

So this must be what had Lan Xichen so stressed over the past few days, Lan Wanyin thinks as he settles down at the table, expectantly waiting for someone to say something.

“So,” Wei Wuxian starts, nervously fiddling with Lan Wangji’s fingers. “Here’s the thing. We decided to tell you a few things, since it seems like they might still happen in your world and we don’t actually want you to have to go through them,” he says and Lan Wanyin frowns.

“Does this have to do with all the topics you keep glossing over? Like why Lan Xichen is no longer Sect Leader and the history between Wangji and Jiang Cheng?” he asks and everyone nods at him.

So this is not going to be fun then, Lan Wanyin thinks and he is right.

It’s a nightmare, if he’s being honest, and his mind is reeling when everyone finally falls silent again.

“We’re sorry about simply dropping this on you, but we think it’s better if you know these things,” Wei Wuxian says with a wince and Lan Wanyin cannot believe that he was dead for sixteen years.

“I—” Lan Wanyin starts, but he doesn’t actually know what to say to any of that and so he falls silent again.

He compares the things they talked about to the political landscape of his own world, and he realizes that they are probably steering towards the same war. The Wens are trying to reach for power; Sect Leader Nie’s father already died and no one believed Nie Mingjue when he said that Wen Ruohan had a hand in that.

There will be a lot to do for him, once he gets back to his own world, Lan Wanyin realizes and he grows cold with horror at the thought that maybe he cannot prevent any of it.

“I need to talk to him alone,” Jin Ling suddenly says and glares at Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, before his gaze goes a little bit warmer when he looks at Lan Xichen. “Would you allow us to talk here, for a moment?” Jin Ling asks, suddenly all polite, and Lan Xichen is quick to nod.

“Of course,” he says, as he gets up, doing his hardest not to meet Lan Wanyin’s eyes but before Lan Wanyin can say anything he, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have left the Hanshi.

Jin Ling walks after them, making sure they really leave, before he puts up a silencing ward on the Hanshi.

“What else?” Lan Wanyin asks, rubbing his head, because this cannot be good.

If Jin Ling send everyone else away, this cannot be good at all and Lan Wanyin is not sure if he wants to hear it. His mind is already reeling and he still feels faintly sick from all the things he just heard, but Jin Ling fixes him with a hard glare.

“Jiujiu did not go back to Lotus Pier to retrieve his parent’s bodies,” he starts with, simply diving right in as it seems and Lan Wanyin frowns.

“But that’s what Wei Wuxian said.”

“Because he doesn’t know better. He thinks that’s what happened. But it’s not true. My jiujiu got captured because the Wen soldiers were about to capture Wei Wuxian and jiujiu distracted them,” Jin Ling says and Lan Wanyin is glad he’s already sitting down.

Jiang Cheng sacrificed himself to keep Wei Wuxian safe, only to have it all ruined when Wei Wuxian gave him his core.

“They don’t know?” he asks, even though the answer is obvious.

“No. Jiujiu never wants Wei Wuxian to know that and so you’re not going to tell him either.” There’s an underlying threat in his voice and Lan Wanyin is quick to nod.

“Of course not,” he agrees. “But why are you telling me this?”

“Because I don’t want the same to happen again,” Jin Ling says. “I don’t know about your relationship with your brother and I don’t know if there’s a Wei Wuxian in your world and if he has a brother, but maybe you should keep an eye out. They seem to think things are going to be the same in your world, and this is something you need to know as well.”

Lan Wanyin nods, his mind still spinning, and this new information does nothing to calm him down at all.

“Did he know he would lose his core?” Lan Wanyin asks and he watches in horror as pain flashes over Jin Ling’s face.

“He expected to lose his life,” he whispers and Lan Wanyin can’t even imagine how much Jiang Cheng must love Wei Wuxian to do something like that, expecting it to cost his life.

“I see,” Lan Wanyin whispers and wonders if he would be strong enough to do the same for Lan Wangji.

He hopes the answer is yes, but he also hopes he never has to find out.

“Thank you for telling me,” Lan Wanyin mutters and Jin Ling nods, before he destroys the talisman.

“I’ll get going then,” Jin Ling says, suddenly back to his awkward teenager self and Lan Wanyin musters up a smile for him.

“Have a safe trip,” he says, praying to all the gods he knows that the next time Jin Ling will see his jiujiu again.

“You too,” Jin Ling says, clearly not doubting for a second that Wei Wuxian will figure out how to send Lan Wanyin back and then he’s out of the door.

It’s not long before Lan Xichen comes back, but he’s still avoiding Lan Wanyin’s gaze and Lan Wanyin frowns.

“What is wrong?” he wants to know and watches as Lan Xichen flinches even as he plasters a smile to his face.

“You can request to be housed somewhere else until Wei Wuxian figures out how to send you back,” Lan Xichen says, his voice stiff and formal and Lan Wanyin’s frown only deepens.

“Why would I do that?” he demands to know and Lan Xichen shrugs.

“You heard what happened. I gave A—him the tool to murder my sworn brother and I never noticed a thing,” Lan Xichen says and Lan Wanyin pretends he doesn’t hear how his voice breaks over the almost uttered name.

“As did no one else,” Lan Wanyin hotly gives back. “So everyone else is at fault, too. And besides. He was your sworn brother, too, was he not? You should have been able to trust him.”

“I should have noticed,” Lan Xichen insists again, but Lan Wanyin shakes his head.

“He shouldn’t have done it,” he counters, but now it finally all comes together.

If Lan Xichen thinks he is guilty—an accomplice, almost—then of course he would step down as Sect Leader. Of course he would think Jiang Cheng could never fall in love with him.

“You said Jiang Cheng and I are quite similar, right?” he demands to know and Lan Xichen jerks his head in a nod.

“Then he must feel the same about this. It’s not your fault. You were all deceived. I doubt he thinks of you like you seem to fear.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Lan Xichen says and it rankles Lan Wanyin to be spoken to like that. “It’s more personal for him. He lost so much because of what happened, because of what I allowed to happen.”

“Everyone allowed that to happen. Everyone who didn’t say a thing and simply followed. Do you think he’s angry at the whole world?” Lan Wanyin wants to know and he is almost relieved to see a small smile on Lan Xichen’s face.

“He’s angry a lot,” he whispers but then he grows serious again. “Our relationship changed quite a bit once the truth came out.”

“Could that maybe be because you went into seclusion and withdrew?” Lan Wanyin wants to know and Lan Xichen looks startled by that suggestion.

“I don’t—” he starts but Lan Wanyin shakes his head.

“He came here when you wrote him, right? Didn’t he visit you before, too? I certainly wouldn’t do that with someone I hold responsible for a crime of any kind,” Lan Wanyin says, because he does feel pretty confident about that.

Lan Xichen swallows heavily before he nods once.

“Thank you for saying that. I will give it some thought,” he whispers and while it’s not exactly what Lan Wanyin wants to hear, it’s better than nothing.

Small steps.

~*~*~

Lan Xichen and Lan Wanyin have just settled down for a relaxing breakfast when Wei Wuxian barges into the Hanshi without properly announcing himself.

“Wei Wuxian,” Lan Xichen says, not as biting as Lan Wanyin would have expected, but then again Wei Wuxian seems too excited to properly remember his manners.

“I figured it out!” Wei Wuxian yells, disregarding yet another one of their rules and with every time that happens Lan Wanyin understands the pinched lines on Lan Qiren’s face more and more.

“You figured out what?” Lan Xichen asks, clearly practiced in wheedling out the necessary explanations of an excited Wei Wuxian.

“How to send you back, of course,” Wei Wuxian says with a maniac grin as he looks at Lan Wanyin. “Come, come, we gotta get started right now,” he rushes out and darts forward to take Lan Wanyin’s hand and drag him out of the Hanshi.

“Xichen-ge, you better wait here for now,” Wei Wuxian calls back when it becomes clear that Lan Xichen intents to follow them and when Lan Wanyin looks over his shoulder he sees the lost look on Lan Xichen’s face.

“Don’t worry,” he calls back, trying to sound more confident than he really feels, but Wei Wuxian’s manic energy doesn’t inspire trust at all.

Lan Xichen nods at him and doesn’t make a move to come after them and Lan Wanyin finds himself wishing that he could have said a proper goodbye to him.

Provided that whatever Wei Wuxian figured out actually works.

“Are you sure about this?” Lan Wanyin asks as he’s being dragged after Wei Wuxian, who nods so frantically that his hair goes flying.

“Of course I am! I never make mistakes,” he cries out and Lan Wanyin raises a very judging eyebrow at him. “Okay, maybe I do make mistakes, sometimes, rarely, but I promise you this will work out just fine. Don’t worry.”

Lan Wanyin of course still worries—how could he ever do anything else—but he also follows Wei Wuxian more freely.

He’s not surprised to be brought back to the Jingshi, but he is surprised to see that Lan Wangji is obviously missing.

“Can’t have any other qi mess up my careful planning,” Wei Wuxian cheerfully explains when he sees Lan Wanyin’s searching look and then he simply pushes him into the centre of the room.

There are papers strewn all over the Jingshi and Lan Wanyin’s fingers twitch with the need to tidy up in here, but then Wei Wuxian whirls around to him.

“Now, channel your energy into Zidian,” he demands just as some dark mist starts to swirl around Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wanyin has never seen demonic cultivation in person and it takes him a moment to shake off his instinctual horror but then he does as Wei Wuxian asked of him.

When Wei Wuxian’s and his energy come together the papers around him start to glow and Wei Wuxian lets out an excited yell.

“Yessss,” he hisses and then gently guides Lan Wanyin to lay down. “Tell your Lan Zhan hi from me,” Wei Wuxian says with a wink and it’s the last thing Lan Wanyin sees and hears before everything goes dark.

~*~*~

“You know the rest,” Lan Wanyin says, and sinks deeper into Jiang Xichen’s embrace, content to feel his heartbeat through his back, as he tightens Jiang Xichen’s arms around his middle.

Lan Wanyin can’t help but to appreciate his own forehead ribbon wrapped around Jiang Xichen’s forearm, but when he reaches out, Lan Wanyin fingers stray towards Zidian.

“That’s why we did so well in the war,” Jiang Xichen mutters and presses a kiss to Lan Wanyin’s head. “Because you knew what was going to happen.”

“Enough things were different that we still struggled,” Lan Wanyin says, feeling yet again like he failed everyone who died in the war.

He always gets upset over that, and his fiddling with Zidian gets stronger.

“Can you still wield it?” Jiang Xichen asks and swiftly slides the ring off his finger, before he puts it on Lan Wanyin’s.

“Xichen!” Lan Wanyin yells out in surprise, because it’s a family heirloom, and he really shouldn’t be holding it.

“Don’t you know that you can use it?” Jiang Xichen mutters in his ear and when Lan Wanyin tries to direct some energy into the ring, it promptly responds to him.

“Xichen,” he says, much more softly this time and Jiang Xichen noses at his cheek.

“What belongs to me also belongs to you,” he whispers and presses a kiss to the corner of Lan Wanyin’s mouth. “You should know that.”

“You should know that as well,” Lan Wanyin says and puts his hand over his forehead ribbon on Jiang Xichen’s arm.

“Oh, believe me, I do,” Jiang Xichen suggestively says and Lan Wanyin lightly slaps his arms, even as Jiang Xichen pulls him closer.

“But you know, I’m actually kind of upset now,” Jiang Xichen finally says after a while and drags Lan Wanyin out of his comfortable doze the soft murmuring of the lake lulled him in to.

“About what?” he whispers and turns his head so he can kiss the underside of Jiang Xichen’s chin.

“It’s clearly not me who caught your eye. You didn’t even know me. But from the way you talked about him it seems like Lan Xichen caught your eye.”

“Well, just like Jiang Cheng caught yours, right?” Lan Wanyin says and untangles himself from Jiang Xichen, just so that he can turn around and straddle his lap instead of sitting with his back to him.

“But it was me who managed to keep your eye, remember?” Lan Wanyin whispers into the space between them and he cannot believe how lucky he is when Jiang Xichen looks up at him with nothing but love on his face.

“Yes,” he whispers but when he strains up to get a kiss from Lan Wanyin he slightly leans back, just enough to stay out of reach.

“And you are the one who managed to keep my eye,” he tells Jiang Xichen and only when he sees the possessive happiness on his face does Lan Wanyin lean down and meet him in a kiss.

They get lost in it for a while, and when they finally part, Lan Wanyin moves around so he sits sideways on Jiang Xichen’s lap and can tuck his face into his neck more comfortably.

“I just hope that Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng figured it out on their end as well.”

“Well, Jiang Cheng seemed pretty flustered with me. I’d say chances for them are good,” Jiang Xichen says with a small laugh and Lan Wanyin hopes he is right.

Lan Xichen deserves to be just as happy as Lan Wanyin is right now.

~*~*~

Lan Xichen stares out over the water, thoroughly enjoying the silence at his favourite pier, even though the cold is slowly creeping in.

It’s been years since he came to call Lotus Pier his home, but there are days where he can barely believe that he got this lucky at all.

That Jiang Cheng came to love him back, even though Lan Xichen doesn’t deserve it. And he’s pretty sure that Jiang Cheng’s stay in the other world has something to do with it, even though Jiang Cheng never really told him exactly what happened there, always blushing furiously before changing the subject.

Lan Xichen wonders if they would be here like this, today, if that experiment hadn’t gone wrong and then he wonders if Lan Wanyin also managed to get this lucky in his own world.

He definitely deserves it.

“My light, what are you doing?” Jiang Cheng suddenly asks from behind him and Lan Xichen cranes his neck to look up at him. “It’s too cold still for you to sit like this,” he berates Lan Xichen, but Lan Xichen can see the blanket in his hands and he knows that Jiang Cheng is simply worried.

“Maybe you should keep me warm then,” he gives back and he feels entirely too indulged when Jiang Cheng immediately settles down behind him, putting the blanket over his front and pulling him into his chest.

“You’re going to get sick like this,” Jiang Cheng grumbles but he presses a kiss to Lan Xichen’s hair as he says it. “What are you doing here, though?”

“I was wondering about Lan Wanyin,” Lan Xichen admits and snuggles into his husband’s chest. “Do you think things on his end turned out okay?”

“You told him what to look out for, right?” Jiang Cheng asks and strokes his hand up and down Lan Xichen’s stomach in a soothing motion. “And I doubt he was stupid enough to disregard everything you said to him. It should be fine.”

Lan Xichen hums at that, because he hopes Jiang Cheng is right.

“Do you think he got as lucky in love as we did?” Lan Xichen asks after a while and he doesn’t even have to look at Jiang Cheng to know that he’s blushing again.

“No one is as lucky as we are,” Jiang Cheng says but then he sighs. “I would think so,” he then finally admits. “I might have been a bit careless with his forehead ribbon,” Jiang Cheng finally admits and it’s surprising enough that Lan Xichen turns around to him.

“You what?” he wants to know but he’s smiling giddily when he sees how embarrassed Jiang Cheng is about this.

“I met your counterpart,” Jiang Cheng admits. “Jiang Xichen.”

“Ah, so that’s where I went,” Lan Xichen nods, finally being able to put that nagging thought to rest.

“Yeah. You had your hair in Yunmeng braids and you were wearing purple,” Jiang Cheng admits and he reaches up to tug on Lan Xichen’s braided hair and then he smoothes his hand over Lan Xichen’s side, clearly appreciating the deep purple that his robes are.

There is still some blue mixed in, but it’s subtle enough that one might miss it on first glance, and Lan Xichen doesn’t mind it as much as he once might have thought.

His heart belongs to Jiang Cheng and that means his everything belongs to Yunmeng as well. It’s only fair that his look reflects that.

“And?” Lan Xichen probes when Jiang Cheng falls silent and then he can’t help himself because he simply has to kiss the blush on Jiang Cheng’s face.

“I was in a sixteen-year-old body,” Jiang Cheng says as if he needs to defend himself and his actions upfront. “There were a lot of hormones I wasn’t used to anymore.”

“And?” Lan Xichen asks again, a smile curling around his mouth because he might see where this is going.

“And Jiang Xichen was smuggling in alcohol past curfew and he was being a little shit and he looked so strange without his forehead ribbon. And I wasn’t used to mine,” Jiang Cheng mutters, clearly embarrassed beyond words and Lan Xichen laughs.

“So you gave him yours?” he snickers and Jiang Cheng pinches his side, before he chases away the sting of pain with a kiss.

“Maybe,” Jiang Cheng whispers against his lips and Lan Xichen hums.

“I thought you were different when you came back,” he admits and a tiny part of Lan Xichen can’t help but to wonder if they would be here at all if Jiang Cheng wasn’t forced into that other world.

If he ever would have come to love Lan Xichen on his own.

“Stop it,” Jiang Cheng chastises him and cups Lan Xichen’s face in his hand. “I love you,” he firmly states. “And I would have come to love you without those three weeks as well. I was already falling for you,” Jiang Cheng promises him and Lan Xichen has to blink back his tears.

Jiang Cheng does know him too well.

“And besides, you don’t have room to judge,” Jiang Cheng finally huffs out. “You gave me your ribbon as well, after all,” he says and tangles his hand in the trailing ends of the slightly purple ribbon Lan Xichen is wearing.

It’s not his Lan ribbon, that one is braided into Jiang Cheng’s hair like it should be, but it still sends a shiver down Lan Xichen’s back when Jiang Cheng lightly pulls on it.

“And you accepted it,” Lan Xichen gives back, because he still can’t believe that some days, but when Jiang Cheng smiles at him, all thoughts flee his mind.

“I love you,” Jiang Cheng whispers, straining up to kiss Lan Xichen, who happily leans into the contact.

He’s too busy kissing Jiang Cheng back to say the words as well, but Lan Xichen figures since he’s wearing purple, proudly displaying Jiang Cheng’s braids in his hair and with his forehead ribbon forever in Jiang Cheng’s possession, it should be more than clear.

He wholeheartedly belongs to Jiang Cheng. 

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #the untamed #mdzs #xicheng #doubly so #clan swap #lan wanyin #jiang xichen #hurt/comfort #family feels #fix-it of sorts #cuddling and snuggling

[idlecreature]

the buried fic comment from hell (it's so long i'm SO SORRY, I GOT EXCITED)

DEL.. I WASN’T SURE IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO LEAVE A LONG ASS COMMENT ON UR BURIED FIC IN PUBLIC….. SO I’M DROPPING IT HERE i’m so sorry in advance this is about to be a mess,, i’m so fucking emotional right now

((the review under the cut is in response to my fic which can b read here))

okay first –

The mental image of tiny gangly Barnabas and Jonah crouched with their hands in the dirt….. is so fucking cute?? I could feel Jonah’s jealousy just burning off of him. You had me right away. Fuck. You know how to open a story and I’m deeply envious, I’ve always struggled with it. Also, you threw in that little hook:

Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just can’t be explained in words.

Barnabas’ voice is so fucking good… guh… you know. I didn’t much care about Barnabas in any deep way before I joined the Jonah server and you guys have all just completely GUTTED me, I can’t believe how much I care about this highly-strung bastard,, he is so GOOD. HE’S SO GOOD???? HE’S SUCH A SWEETIE. LIKE. BARNABAS FEELING GUILTY AND HORRIFIED THAT PEOPLE ARE GRATEFUL TO HIM AND WANT HIM AROUND???? AAAAAAAAAA. And the melancholy aspect, too, which I imagine is how Mordechai was able to relate to him, get attached to him… Barnabas being bitter about how useless his tears are while he’s crying anxiously at the prospect that he might not be able to help those families after all…….

All of those scraps of Barnabas’ letter to Jonah made such EXCELLENT transitions, holy hell. Again I am inspired by your storytelling prowess. I am taking notes, for whenever my ability to write longform fic returns from war. This one was my favorite, made my heart clench:

A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with the heart—

He’s so earnest I’m going to weep ;_; Barny.. you can’t make Jonah a better person he’s AWFUL,,

(Side note, super digging that I can indent stuff, block quoting makes this SO much easier.)

Also really digging that Jonah doesn’t have as nice a reputation as Barnabas… Jonah is the bad influence friend lmfao. AND JONAH’S CAT… I LOVE HIM…

And then you delivered a swift blow straight to the religion kink, as promised… “There’s something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lot’s wife.“ LOSING IT I’M LOSING IT… WHAT A WAY OF DESCRIBING HIM God, here I thought I couldn’t possibly be more attracted to this bastard man. I am aghast at myself.

LOSING IT EVEN MORE OVER BARNABAS STACKING TEACUPS ON JONAH’S HEAD???? Why must you make them so fucking cute oh NO this is going to hurt isn’t it. ((This was the note I stuck in the Word doc while I was reading it and I thought I’d leave it as was for your enjoyment))

“Taking cues from your dreams?” Barnabas replies. “You know only the desperately mad do that?” 

“Or desperately inspired—savants and prophets and visionaries.”

And then you continued to try to kill me… Jonah thinking of himself as a prophet……. hhhhh canon-typical overambitious zealotry I’m HERE FOR IT………

“Are you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devil’s advocate?” 

“Just testing you,” Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold. 

Del I cannot stress enough… My religion kink………. It’s been SO VERY ACTIVATED.

“Your morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.”

OUCH, JONAH, JESUS

Every bit of their dialogue was so familiar and tinged with bittersweetness and I owe you my entire life… Sincerely. Ugh. Like, how you described Barnabas’ internal angst about it later on – when he’s thinking of Mordechai, and he refers to "his many dog-eared fantasies” about Jonah it just really vividly conjured the thought of he and Jonah having a sort of? Queer solidarity, ESPECIALLY having grown up together. And that makes Jonah’s flash of betrayal at Barnabas not wanting to be SEEN with him that much more agonizing, personally. Like. I’ve had that happen to me more than once in real life. And much as Jonah is a piece of shit who is absolutely manipulating him………. still, ouch. Ouch. (Barnabas’ thoughts on the company Jonah keeps also made me wince. You did an AMAZING job with all of the internalized shame and frantic rationalizations, hooooooboy.)

The Lukases being colorblind is such an interesting piece of lore by the way I love it????? Now I have. Some questions, about Peter. Mordechai’s characterization in this is so fascinating to me. I’m enTRANCED by how you reverse-Uno’d it so that Barnabas was the reason Mordechai lost himself to the Lonely… the power dynamics……. so tasty. Ugh. And all of the sensual descriptions, especially of that first visit Barnabas had at Moorland house?? I didn’t clip any because I would have ended up clipping the whole fucking thing. It was aching, haunting, beautiful, holyshit. Their romance is somehow more fucked up than Barnabas and Jonah’s…

Also, I was so eager to read this I skipped the tags/warnings and completely didn’t realize Mordechai was going to be an actual vampire so that was a VERY fun surprise lmfao.

Barnabas feels like he’s close to learning something about violence and desire, how close they are, how the wires can get crossed.

THIS QUOTE IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE ugh I’m having an aneurysm over how Jonah managed to fashion Barnabas into a creature that could understand him by gifting him to Mordechai for a while… letting Mordechai crack him open at the points where he was already brittle and experience an influx of some of the true darkness of the world. Just a tasty taste. That way when he discovers the truth of Jonah’s occult interests he won’t run away, because he’s already got his own fingers in the mess. He’s already given himself to one horror, why not Jonah? Shave some of the shine off of his morality, make him nice and gray so he won’t contrast so much with Jonah… And satisfying his curiosity at the same time. Two birds.

Oh, also, still sobbing about this line:

he realises that he doesn’t want to wear any colours that Mordechai can’t properly see.

EVERY TIME I let my guard down for ten seconds you smacked me with more of Barnabas being the most precious bleeding heart in the universe!!!!!! He aches so much for the people he’s trying to help and he hates people like Mordechai but part of him also wants to save Mordechai, somehow… maybe recognizes the parts of him that are like these people, still. Nearly faded but not quite gone yet. And as you’ve already established, Barnabas simply cannot let things go. Can’t disappoint people… can’t leave them when he could be doing something. Anything. Augh, FEELINGS.

Of course he knew Mordechai and Jonah were friends, he’d just temporarily believed in a sane and fair universe where things like this don’t happen. 

AND YOU HAD SUCH A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMOR… This could have been such a feelbad fic, and tbh it still would have been spectacular. But you always eased it at just the right moment to keep it from going off the rails into irretrievable deepdark territory. Fed me little soft moments so I’d still be vulnerable enough to have my HEART RIPPED OUT LATER…

I’m not super interested in the Buried canon-wise but I love how you’ve written Barnabas’ natural affiliation with it… so subtle but powerful? (Of COURSE Jonah was jealous, lmao. He had to work so hard and he’s still not on Barnabas’ level. There’s some kinda beautiful commentary on ambition versus goodwill in there somewhere but I’m too busy nursing my battered little heart right now to articulate it.) It wove its way in and out of the rest of the plot so naturally, too. For some reason it compliments Barnabas’ temperament as I read it in canon just… so well. Was there a discussion about this on the server, and if so, PLEASE tell me about it sometime I’m so fascinated.

Jonah wasn’t even present for a lot of the fic but his characterization was so INTENSE and luminous, Christ… I know I already praised it a bit but. Woof. I wasn’t expecting to get a taste of his POV at the end and I was so excited I kicked my feet (my cat was very disgruntled) like, this line!!!

Now, he thinks there’s some truth in those false statements, in the lies we tell and why we want to be believed.

GOD, YOU’RE REALLY GONNA GIVE ME FEELINGS ABOUT JONAH AND FUTURE-JONAHLIAS IN THE SAME FIC?????? EVIL… I’m so so so fucking here for it, oh my God, Jonah with an amplifying anxiety disorder, THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY… too bad the Eye doesn’t let you see the future, Jonah, lmao… the line “immortality just made his anxiety turn nuclear” is SEARED into my brain now, I am NOT accepting canon to contradict this ever again. I’ve always wondered how Jonah’s neuroses might have worsened in two entire fucking CENTURIES and I love the way you wrote it. I am fucking. Losing my mind.

There’s so many other things I could comment on, like. The brief but glorious Jonah-grinding-himself-off-on-Barnabas’-thigh shenanigans. Was incredibly hot, and Mordechai’s poor fragile heart breaking, and Barnabas telling Isabel that it’s fine to call him Barny…….. I’m hhhhhhhhHHHH fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m just!! I am incomprehensible!!! Everyone told me this fic was amazing but it’s fucking amazing, Del, what the hell. I’m never gonna be the same after this. The end was SHOCKINGLY sweet and I have WHIPLASH.

………… So, now that I’ve made you read a novel. Hah. Sorry. My point is. I loved every bit of this. It deserved heaps more praise but my eyes are starting to cross. Thx for sharing :’) 

Love,

Tony xx

TONY. TONY THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. FIRSTLY I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. SECOND OF ALL, THANKS TO YOU I’LL BE SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOREVER HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THIS REVIEW HAS AFFECTED ME? IT’S THE BEST FEEDBACK I’VE EVER RECIEVED IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE A FIRSTGRADER GETTING THEIR FIRST GOLD STAR I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE I COULD THROW THE JEWEL OF THE SEA OFF THE SHIP AND LEAN OVER THE RAILINGS BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE AROUND ME TONY IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN A FIREPLACE KEEPING ME WARM THROUGH THE WINTER MONTHS I LOVE YOU DEARLY FOR THIS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION IF YOU WERE IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD FRENCH KISS YOU WITHOUT HESISTATION UNTIL THE BOTH OF US HAVE RUN OUT OF AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING BLESS YOU TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

#fic review #mayormurdock #what the fuckkkkkk tony when are you getting your sainthood #long post #submission