#lich says shit

[fishofthewoods]

I see a lot of people clowning on the people of Pelican Town for not repairing the community center themselves or clowning on Lewis for embezzling and. like. Those criticisms aren't entirely unfair. But I think instead of coming at it from a perspective of "why can't the townspeople do this" we should be asking "why and how can the farmer do this?"

Like. Think about it. The farmer arrives in Stardew Valley on the first day of spring. By the first day they're obviously different. By day five the spirits of the forest who haven't been seen by the townsfolk in years or generations are speaking to them. By the second week they've developed a rapport with the wizard that lives outside town.

In the spring they go foraging and find more than even Linus, who's spent so many years learning the ways of the valley. Maybe he knows, when he sees them walking back home. Maybe he looks at them and understands that they're different, chosen somehow.

In the summer they fish in the lakes and the ocean for hours on end, catching fish that even Willy's only ever heard of, fish that he thought were the stuff of legend. They pull up giants from the deep and mutated monstrosities from the sewers.

In the fall, their crops grow incredibly immense; pumpkins twice as tall as a person, big enough that someone could live inside. The farmer cuts it down with an axe without even batting an eye. Does Lewis wonder, when he checks the collection bin that night and finds it full to the brim with pumpkin flesh? What does he think? Does he even leave the money? Does he have the funds to pay the farmer millions of dollars for the massive amounts of wine they sell? Or is it someone--something--else entirely?

In the winter, the farmer delves into the mines. No one in Pelican Town has been down there in decades. No one in living memory has been to the bottom. The farmer gets there within the season. They return to the surface with stories of dwarven ruins and shadow people, stories they only tell to Vincent and Jas, whose retellings will be dismissed by the adults as flights of fancy. People walking by the entrance to the mines sometimes hear the farmer in there, speaking in a language no one can understand. Something speaks back.

The farmer speaks to the the wizard. They speak to the spirit of a bear inside a centuries-old stone. They speak to the shadow people and the dwarves, ancient enemies, and they try to mend the rift. They speak to the Junimos, ancient spirits of the forest and the river and the mountain. They taste the nectar of the stardrops and speak to the valley itself. They change Pelican Town, and they change the valley. Things are waking up.

And what does Evelyn think? She's the oldest person in the valley; she was here when the farmer's grandfather was young. (How old *is* she, anyway? She never seems to age. She doesn't remember the year she was born.) Does she see the farmer and think of their grandfather? Does she try to remember if he was like this too, strange and wild and given the gifts of the forest?

And does their grandfather haunt the valley? He haunts the farm, still there even after his death; his body died somewhere else, but his spirit could never stay away for long. Does Abigail, using her ouija board on a stormy night, almost drop the planchette when she realizes it's moving on its own? Does Shane, walking to work long before anyone else leaves their house, catch glimpses of a wispy figure floating through the town? Does the farmer know their grandfather came back to the place they both love so much?

Mr. Qi takes interest in the farmer. He's different, too; in a different way, maybe, but the principles are the same. They're both exceptional, and no matter what Qi says about it being hard work and dedication, they both know the truth: the world bends around the both of them, changing to fit their needs. Most people aren't visited by fairies or witches. Most people don't have meteorites crash in their yard. Most people couldn't chop down trees all day without a break or speak to bears and mice and frogs.

The farmer is different. The rules of the world don't work for them the way they work for everyone else. The farmer goes fishing and finds the stuff of fairy tales. The farmer goes mining and fights shadow beasts and flying snakes. The farmer looks at paths the townspeople walk every day and finds buried in the dirt relics of lost civilizations.

The farmer is a violent, irrepressible miracle, chosen by the valley and destined to return to it someday. Even if they'd never received the letter, they would've come home.

They always come home eventually.

#lich says shit #stardew valley #sorry for the stardew valley meta i'm just so obsessed with how FREAKY the farmer is. Like it's so fun #gonna write another long ass post about the farmer's bloodline specifically and. like. #why did their grandpa leave the valley?? why did their parents never go back?? #stardew valley farmer #sdv

[grineerios]

"Lich Tax is just child support."

#warframe #shit clan kaer morons says #kuva lich #clan nonsense

[cameronthecryptid]

I need to hold the Baby Lich. I don’t care if I might die. I need to hold him. Just for like… a minute

#cameron saying dumb shit #adventure time #fiona and cake #baby lich

[balkanmermaid]

I'd say my hand slipped but Savash does have high charisma stats as a wizard (lich as she is)

#oc art #traditional drawing #traditional art #pencil drawing #oc drawing #dnd oc #necromancer oc #lich oc #fantasy oc #pencil sketch #does she fuck? what do we say? #also pls excuse the shit left arm #ani's art

[woozi]

no bc the svteenies were insane for debuting with a mini that includes adore u and 20 in it

#special mention to shada too she’s a classic for a reason #adore u on the other hand....... the guitar riff.... the whole composition actually... THE VOCALS #very unique color to them #she GAVE #ANYWAY #20’s still one of the vocal u songs im so fond of #dont love the rest of the songs there BUT it was a product of its time i cant find fault in that #their discography is SOOOO good tbh #obviously there r gonna be some snoozers i havent seen any artist without em but over all???? holy fucking shit #im laying eggs #im so so in awe of these men #and im so glad circumstances allowed them this much creative freedom #lich rally have not liked a group this much in so many aspects but what can i do we’re literally talking about seventeen here #wish i got into them sooner though icb i’ve known abt them since their 17tv days but only got into them in 2020 #also stopped my kpop era in 2014-15ish so i also wasnt there for their debut </3 #but yeah </3 love these men so much i have SOOO much to say abt them today my brain feels like it has rock pops from all the crazy things- #-happening inside as i think abt this group #feel extra insane today so im super chatty and making sm gifs NFNDJDJ SORRY i havent been like this on here in a while #and u hopefully wont see me like this again any time soon 😋 #y.txt

[b0nelessdoodles]

that feel when you’re a little obsessed with the bad timeline version of your character oops

#dungeons and dragons #dnd character #half lich #dnd wizard #dnd lizardfolk #wizard lizard #lich lizard or as we like to call him lichard #mirror harrixon my beloved #hes so much more judgy than normal which is saying something #since harrixon is already a judgemental little shit sometimes #i think i just love evil mages who think theyre doing good but arent #rolls up a newspaper and smacks him on his nose #YOUR FATHER IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU LIKE THIS #thanks jo for giving me lichard harrixon hes my little guy

[gophergal]

"Yeah, Jesus was a necromancer, and he came back as a Lich!"

- my father, while watching a video about weird Bible facts

#gopher rambles #shit my dad says #to be clear: hes not a xtian. hes agnostic/pantheist/something #he just finds the Bible to be a fascinating piece of text and he likes to analyze it #i do too so these sorts of conversations arent uncommon #but theyre really funny out of context #and for those who arent aware: a lich is an undead wizard. basically

[elderstrolls]

Top 2 Things A Silencer Shouldn't Say To Someone They Worked With Once Five Years Ago

#Finally playing through Blackwood and it's just too much. Done the 1st quest so far. #The writing is not as terrible as the forums claimed but the way things are handled is just baffling. #Why tf would the Vestige tell ANYONE about being a member of the DB? #There's no choice but to out yourself? But you can (Lie) in a housing intro quest? #Not to mention that I (and others) did the DB and TG questline for the Perks but don't really acknowledge it as canon for our characters. #And what if someone's character just‚ idk‚ fucking quit the DB. DB->Daedric War is a tasty redemption arc btw. #We had a whole chapter about vampires and not a single NPC breathed a word about my Vestige being a vampire. #Also: Eveli's character development who? She was a promising character at the end of Orsinium‚ if a bit annoying. #Now she's just annoying. She deserved better. And she's ok with the Vestige being an assassin? Sure‚ Jan! #Not to mention the Mysterium Fucking Xarxes messing with her (something she states several times in the first quest!) #The Vestige can't even suggest to get it checked out at the Mages Guild? #DESPITE BEING IN THE MAGES GUILD‚ WHICH TAKES YOU THROUGH A QUESTLINE WHERE SHEOGORATH FUCKS WITH VALASTE THROUGH you guessed it BOOKS! #''Weird dreams after hanging out with a book? Huh‚ sounds like someone else I know!'' #This lich rally punishes players for paying attention. It's torture and gamer abuse. Unethical. ''Who's Azura?'' part 3458793. #Another thing to add to the pile of things is how the Vestige says ''Hey the DB doesn't really do the Black Hand thing without a reason'' #And right after that the Vestige gets sidetracked with the DB anyway. #Idk man. It makes keeping my cringe rp journal difficult. I had to rewrite half of the quest for it to make sense for Tel. #I omitted Eveli completely and I have to say that a semi-competent Vestige feels much better. #''The Councilor has been murdered!'' real shit? I thought she was just /playdead. #At least they have Elam in the gameplay padding part of the questline. I will take this bribe. #ESO #TES #:elderposts

[narrie]

#nah he's absolutely vile for the platinum shit it's like the us in here #i ALMOST bought these by accident bc i didn't realize and then it said £700 total and i was like WAIDDA MINUTE... #it lich rally says GA like . anyway get fucked

[blkwag]

#my bichass dad is gettting everyone fucking sick because instead of staying in the guest room with his nasty cough and whatever he has he #decides to sit in the living room THAT IS THE CENTER OF THE FREAKING HOUSE #im not gonna say im sick but i feel a tickle in my throat and i need to get rid of it by the end of the day or else im physically #fighting him #like rocking his shit deadass #he got my mom sick yesterday and wanted to act like he didnt get her sick #like i will knock your knees out what are you talking about #we lich rally leave for fl tomorrow!KLJ@LKJLKQJELKWJ

[fishofthewoods]

Did I have tasks I was supposed to be doing this evening? yes. Did i black out and write a poem about rabbits instead? yes.

#lich says shit #my art #my poetry #watership down #had lots of fun wth the enjambment on this one #I wanted there to be a sort of sense of urgency where since every line ends in the middle of a thought #the reader is encouraged to go through it faster and faster #and the lack of punctuation makes the comma and period at the end even more jarring #at least thats the goal. let me know if i succeeded #poems #poetry #rabbits

[eddie4bat-president]

Saw a drawing of Steve and now I'm suddenly thinking about artist Eddie who designed the Hellfire shirts and Corroded Coffin fliers and who draws the villains of his D&D campaigns to slap onto his DM screen for visual aid and doodles in class and-

And i'm thinking about Steve, in a relationship with Nancy, trying to ignore that things are rocky but knowing it all the same. He finds a notebook left behind in school and he only takes it because he forgot his own. He plans to use it for the day and then figure out whose it is and get it back to them in exchange, that's probably more than fair, right? And the person is really gonna want this back - it looks like half their life is contained in this thing; there is... a shit ton of loose paper stuffed between the pages and notes on all kinds of subjects and drawings and.... he doesn't even know what that is. Who is Vecna and what the hell is a... lich?

Anyway as he leafs through it he finds that some of the drawings are... actually really good. Like, absurdly good for being in a lined notebook that looks like it has taken a trip into a dumpster and picked up some debris on the way out.

Like! Those hands! Steve has no artistic bone in his body but he's heard people whine about drawing hands and - he looks at the hand not holding the book and back again - yeah, that's exactly what hands look like! And here - a few pages further (it's one of the most empty pages of the whole thing, mostly because this one seems to have started as a drawing and not as a page of notes that turned into a drawing) there are only a few lines on the page but it's still very clearly the back of someone's neck, the collar, one shoulder.... Then there's another one that is almost all lines, but they were all carefully placed to give the effect of perfectly windswept hair. Then there's one that he actually can't make sense of at first (he almost pages past it because it is just a few lines and dots taking up a quarter of a page of very annoyed... history notes? Maybe English.) It's just a jawline with some moles but... only the day before he had cut himself shaving a finger's width underneath those exact moles. And that's when it clicks. He goes back to the hair... yeah that- that could be him too. Maybe. He flips back to that one very detailed drawing of hands and... putting down the book he tries to get his hands into the same position - the angle is off but. Yeah. That's why they looked so perfectly...! Uhhhh... Handsy! Because they're his fucking hands!

Anyway Steve realizes that about a third of the drawings are or could be him. He realizes that he actually can't go through with giving it back because - what would he even say? "Hey found your notebook, nice shrine to me?" Yeah no. But he's... also reluctant to take it to the Lost and Found. There's something in the handwriting.... He has a feeling that it might not be a girl secretly drawing him. What if someone else connects the dots? What if they confront the mystery artist about it? Flashbacks to his fight with Jonathan, the line he crossed and immediately regretted. He doesn't want to be the cause for someone else getting called that. And unrelated to that, things with Nancy aren't great right now and it's... it's just nice to think someone is paying attention, alright?

Then Halloween happens a few days after. The Break-up(?), the demodogs, Billy and the tunnels- and afterwards it's nice to have the notebook to distract him from the pain. The mundane mystery of a schoolmate maybe having a crush on him. He might not even have to confront them - he can just figure out a way to slip it into their locker; it looks like at least half their schoolwork is crammed into this thing, no matter how half-heartedly done. They definitely want this back.

Man, I wish I could actually write this thing. Damn. Maybe I could even do a scene where Steve tries to Sherlock Holmes his way to Mystery Artist and confronts a (hatefully seething) Robin, because she sits behind him in that one class, only to find his own Watson in her instead. But alas. It cannot be.

#as usual this is as good as it's gonna get #steddie #steddie season 2 au #steddie ficlet #hey i'm talkin' here #steddie fic prompt #steddie notfic

[deirdreskye]

any trans dykes wanna do some girlyaoi shit. like wrath of the lich king just came out and you lugged your gaming PC over to my place and we stayed up until 3am leveling our characters and sharing a case of natty light my brother bought for me. I pull down your pajama pants and take your cock in my mouth and you go "oh fuck" in that dumb groan boys like to do. make fun of me for moaning like a girl. cum in my ass and I'll pet your hair and say I love you so fucking much dude

[horus-unofficial]

hello hello welcome welcome. welcome 2 the HORUS guide 4 HORUS tech aka horus-unofficial.tumblr3.un gives you extremely comprehensive and very useful insight into its "pattern groups" and "licenses". we are your host harold HORUS here today to talk to you about our beautiful darling cunt of a child, the LICH

nobody knows how the lich came 2 be. some buddies of ours say they invented it 9989 years from now which is weird bcos anyone normal would wait another decade before sending that shit back in time to hit that sweet 9999 and keep people guessing as to whether these files actually are from that far in the future, or if the lucky terminal receiving this code just stopped bothering to count the years after 15015u. either way, the lich is here now, and back then, and most certainly at some point in the future, and it kinda looks like we probably did invent it so that means we are in the clear to act like we're the ones who made it!

the lich sucks! its terrible! with glass bones and paper skin and a reactor that overheats at room temperature, a gust of wind could leave a dent in this PG's plating, which is made from samples of styrofoam and bubble wrap warped straight from the insides of pre-Fall packages labeled "FRAGILE, HANDLE WITH CARE" (a perfect bumper sticker for your lich, should you find yourself piloting one sometime within the next -50 to 250 years). you can tell no former members of harrison armory's R&D department were involved in the designing of the lich because the only thing those fuckers know how to do is create industrial microwaves, and the lich's reactor is the most slipshod, poorly-coded shit in the known universe. the only code regulating the lich's reactor is "reactor = cool" and not only are neither "reactor" nor "cool" defined anywhere in the system code, but HOR_OS doesn't even use = signs.

you may ask us, "if the lich is so shit, why do people pilot it?" and we are so glad you asked! generally speaking, answers to this question fall into one of two variations: - "it's a funny mech" - "why is everyone saying i pilot a lich??? i pilot a nelson!!! what do you mean that's my lich frame in the mech bay and i've had it for years, i literally don't have a single HORUS license, @horus-unofficial please advise"

the lich's victorian orphan-esque constitution aside, its biggest strength as a frame is likely its ability to send itself to the seaside for a much needed mental health break should it encounter the slightest hint of adversity on the battlefield. its no wonder the lich is so frail, the entirety of our nonexistent R&D budget went into making this thing the most annoying roleplayer on the playground. "you hit me with your sword? nuh-uh, i dodge. oh you run me through on your spear, killing me instantly? well it turns out that that body wasn't actually me, i've been dramatically looking down upon this duel from up there on those cliffs the whole time!" <- words most commonly spoken by future lich pilots at 11 years old

this allows it to be unexpectedly versatile in combat- with a refundable get out of jail free card and a maximum speed comparable to most of SSC's catalogue, it can weave through dangerous zones in combat with unexpected efficiency, allowing it to support allies from virtually any range, and instigate the occasional skirmish if its pilot is so inclined. we dont necessarily advise that you choose violence as a lich pilot, only that its a more viable choice of function than you might initially think

the lich plays with the timestream with the same enthusiasm as a preschooler in a sandbox, both in regards to itself and anything (un)fortunate enough to be within its sensor range. for every timeline where the lich is playing support for its allies and being so kind and niceys, there's another timeline where it gleefully tears into its adversaries until it overextends and dies respawns in another timeline, and it's through this universal law that an unusually principled lich pilot might find themselves taking a hit for its allies before immediately redeeming that get out of jail free card we mentioned earlier. of course, "principled HORUS pilot" is an oxymoron, so if your squad has a lich pilot what actually happens is more along the lines of being teamed with the biggest fucking nuisance on your planet, who pretends to toodle about the battlefield all combat because the truth is they've been stuck in a time loop for 7 years, and are well beyond the point of caring.

bottom line: if you encounter a lich in combat, dont even bother targeting it. it's unkillable except for when it isn't, and its banned from every omninet roleplay forum in the known universe for a reason

#lancerrpg #lancer rpg #lancer ttrpg #lancer lich #ooc: something possessed me today i can't believe i just wrote 800 words bullying the lich

[y-rhywbeth2]

Still exploring the epilogue files; this is horrible for Lae'zel, but I'm still fucked up enough to find this funny:

Withers: "And now... [Lae'zel] is gone." Player: "What do you mean gone?" Withers: "It is as she wished. It is as all Githyanki wish. I askt thou once: what is the value of a single life? For many of the Gith, it can be measured: A single evening's supper for the Lich Queen. To be ascended is to be consumed." Player: "A pair of fried frog legs, eh?" REALLY_DARK_URGE Withers: "Thine Urge was cured, if thou recallst. Thou need not say such things." Player: "Right. I'm good now. Sorry." Withers: "Hmm."

Durge! ("Well no, I don't need to say it..." )

On the other hand I'm still quite happy to get the opportunity to still be doing Durge things post-Bhaal. Just of their own volition now. Also they may or not still be plotting to conquer the world.

Kind of reminds me of this:

Astarion: "What have you been up to? No... relapses, I hope?" Durge: Say nothing. Just smile. Astarion: "Well, I am glad it's been going well." [dev: the slightest touch of wariness in his voice]

Durge: *says their usual shit* Other people: ...aren't you supposed to be good now? Durge: :)

#*insert that star wars meme with anakin and padme* #You *should* all be running #babbling #/durge #edgelord hours

[dreamsy990]

she’s a lich. she’s an umbrella. she’s a trans woman. she sets shit on fire. she has a twin brother. she works with the grim reaper. she’s one of the birds. she causes problems on purpose. she has the nerdiest husband. i didnt say her name but she popped into your head

#lup #lup taaco #taz #the adventure zone #lup taz #text post #meme #taz meme