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k-s-morgan · 4 years

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Will’s vs. Hannibal’s Ways of Expressing Love

The fact that Hannibal loves Will and is in love with him is openly stated in the show several times. Will’s feelings, on the other hand, are more ambiguous, which is why some viewers often doubt whether Hannibal’s love is reciprocated. I think that exploring the ways these two men experience and react to love can explain the varying degrees of their openness about it.

I’ll put TLDR right here: Hannibal is more open about himself and his feelings, including love, hence he doesn’t have many challenges with admitting it. Will is closed off, stiff, and emotionally repressed, so he expresses his feelings in a much more subtle way.

Let’s start with Hannibal. Details about his past are scarce, but we know that he admits to loving two people throughout his life, his sister and Will.

E3 of S3.

*Bedelia: What your sister made you feel was beyond your conscious ability to control or predict … I would suggest what Will Graham makes you feel is not dissimilar. A force of mind and circumstance.*

*Hannibal: Love.*

Undoubtedly, Hannibal’s love for Mischa was traumatic and unhealthy. He loved her so much that he ate a part of her body after she was killed, devastated by this loss. But it was still love that made him feel all the related emotions, so Hannibal has some experience with it. From what we know of him, he has a very broad mind. He despises limitations and overcomes them, and he is not ashamed of who he is. He isn’t embarrassed to cry in the opera or to be the first to stand up and applaud; he delights in stereotypically ‘feminine’ hobbies like cooking and clothes selection; he draws fan-art and openly expresses his admiration when it’s due. For this reason, Hannibal doesn’t have many problems with expressing love either.

Upon meeting Will, he is immediately drawn to him. He sees him as his potential partner and decides he wants to try and build a family with him as early as E2 of S1. That’s when he starts planting the idea of Abigail being their shared daughter in Will’s mind. He does the same to Abigail, urging her to see him and Will as her parents, even giving her shrooms to evoke the desired associations (unsuccessfully since Will doesn’t come to dinner). So, Hannibal acknowledged his pull/infatuation with Will from the very start, and he acted on it right away.

It’s not 100% love at this point, but Hannibal still easily follows his emotions. He doesn’t stop to consider how strange it is to want a family with a man he just met; he doesn’t agonize over the idea of how his life has more risks now that he allows another human being to know him. When these feelings progress at the end of S1/start of S2, Hannibal is finally taken aback. While he never planned to leave Will in prison and it was a part of his plan, he still didn’t expect to miss him so much — he admits it to Bedelia, looking forlorn, in E1 of S2. He repeatedly pines for Will by sitting in front of his chair at the time of his supposed appointment, glancing at the clock despite knowing Will is not going to come. This is a shift to an actual love, but Hannibal still doesn’t fight it. On the contrary, he embraces it, and he spends the entire S2 doing repeatedly romantic gestures for Will. Namely:

1) Protects Abigail to reunite Will with her later.

2) Shares a part of himself he doesn’t seem to have ever shared with anyone else. He talks to Will about Mischa, reveals his views on murder and God, acknowledges he cared about Abigail, and shows vulnerability. He shares his teacup ritual with him, which is something precious and deeply personal.

3) He digs up fake Freddie’s corpse and decorates it as a way of courting Will (as directly said by Alana).

4) He draws a fan-art of himself and Will as Achilles and Patroclus.

5) He is ready to abandon his well-established life in Baltimore and reputation to run away with Will. In Hannibal’s view, no one truly suspects him and there is no evidence against him, but Will is in danger. So he’s willing to discard everything he’s been building for 20 years for him.

Finally, he calls Will a loved one more or less directly in E13 of S2 (in fact, he implies that they both love each other).

*Hannibal: Do you know what an imago is, Will? … An imago is an image of a loved one buried in the unconscious, carried with us all our lives.*

*Will: An ideal.*

*Hannibal: The concept of an ideal... I have a concept of you, just as you have a concept of me.*

Will hurts him with his betrayal, and Hannibal still finds himself unable to kill him. He is openly crying in the finale, admitting how Will hurt him, breaks his (and his own) heart by killing Abigail, and flees to Europe to start a new life. But things don’t go as he hoped they would. Bedelia is not a worthy substitute, and Hannibal is increasingly slipping into a self-destructive state because of his love for Will. He kills Anthony, who was an improved copy of Will, and turns him into a Valentine heart for him. Again, this is a very explicit and open emotional action. Hannibal doesn’t hide his feelings. He’s an emotional wreck with Bedelia in E3, and as they are talking about Will, he admits he’s in love with him.

*Hannibal: You cannot control with respect to whom you fall in love.*

Bedelia points out his self-destructiveness.

*Bedelia: You're going to get caught. It's already been set into motion … I know exactly how I will be navigating my way out of whatever it is I’ve gotten myself into. Do you?*

After Hannibal keeps spiraling and kills Sogliato, she adds: *You're drawing them to you, aren't you? All of them.*

Hannibal gets so self-destructive over Will that he lets Jack beat himself almost to death, not even attempting to fight him. The first words he says to Will after they reunite in E6 are:

*Hannibal: If I saw you every day forever, Will, I would remember this time.*

He’s a romantic. The courtship, the Valentine heart, the romance — Hannibal did have some struggles, but overall, he accepts these feelings and isn’t afraid to act on them.

When Will pulls a knife in E6, Hannibal classifies it as another betrayal. This is where he decides to kill and eat him in the hope to put an end to this misery (which is what he and Bedelia discussed back in E3). However, even blinded by another heartbreak, Hannibal tries to save Will at the same time. He knows the police are coming and he puts off the moment of sawing for as long as he can, first fussing over Will and his wound, then waiting for Jack, then doing everything slowly as hell.

Everything changes in E7, when Hannibal faces the real risk of losing Will and comes to terms with the fact that a hope of life with him is better than life without him. So Hannibal carries Will home bridal-style, takes care of him, waits for him to wake up and writes formulas to reverse time. He directly tells Will that Will won, and that he, Hannibal, is at Will’s mercy.

*Hannibal: Your memory palace is building. It's full of new things. It shares some rooms with my own. I've discovered you there. Victorious.*

He gives himself up, sacrificing the freedom he’s been fighting for back in E2 finale, in the hope that one day, Will is going to come back to him. After this, Hannibal is all about Will, with all his heart. Throughout the second half of S3, he says things like, *“I gave you a child. You are family, Will. Was it good to see me?”*, etc. He agrees to risk his life by agreeing to Will’s plan, knowing he’s planning something but not knowing what and if he’d die in the process. In E13, Hannibal says:

*Hannibal: "No greater love hath man than to lay down his life for a friend"* and shields Will from the bullet. Later, he allows Will to push them both down, and he stays with him afterward.

Conclusion: Hannibal is very accepting of himself, so he doesn’t undergo severe challenges on the path to acknowledging what he feels for Will. He knows what love feels like because he felt it for Mischa before, so he embraces loving Will pretty quickly, even though he doesn’t know how to best approach it at times. That’s why we get direct and explicit confirmation of his feelings several times.

Now, on to Will.

Unlike with Hannibal, there is no evidence that Will has ever experienced love before (at least love for people). We know he had a father and was lonely as a child.

E4 of S1.

*Will: We were poor. I followed my father from the boat yards in Biloxi and Greenville to lake boats on Erie.*

*Hannibal: Always the new boy at school? Always the stranger?*

*Will: Always.*

His choice of words indicates that his relationship with his father wasn’t all that good (for instance, *I followed my father* instead of *My father and I had to…*). So, it doesn’t look like Will ever had meaningful connections. More than that, he says:

*Will: There’s something so foreign about family. Like an ill-fitting suit. Never connected to the concept.*

We can suggest that he doesn’t know what love is or how it feels like. From E1, we know he isolates himself because he hates himself for who he is: he understands he’s different, that there is darkness in him, but he desperately tries to subdue it and deny this fact. He’s rude, twitchy, and unhappy, but like Hannibal, he understands the extent of his loneliness only upon meeting him. That’s when he tries forming relationships with others.

Will’s relationships with Alana and Abigail are a good indication of his problems with love. He wants to be with Alana because he needs to feel normal. In 99% of cases, he remembers about her only when she comes to seek him out first. He kisses her for the first time at the moment of particular vulnerability, fearing that he’s finally losing his mind (in E8). When Hannibal calls him out on it, Will doesn’t deny it and semi-nods. He actually had to agree with it verbally according to the script.

*Will: I feel unstable.*

*Hannibal: That’s why you kissed her. A clutch for balance.*

*Will: Because I’m losing mine.*

So, it’s not that Will feels romantic love for Alana — he uses her because he desperately needs to feel like everyone else. Alana is a pretty, smart, normal woman who fits this goal perfectly. He doesn’t allow himself to be genuine with her unlike he does with Hannibal, to whom he opens up.

Will confesses to Hannibal that he loved killing Hobbs in E2, which got him down and made him panic. Hannibal supports him, and Will keeps coming back to him. He talks about everything important with Hannibal, opening parts of himself that he guards from everyone else. Will asks Hannibal to look after his dogs as early as E4 — he doesn’t have other friends, and he’s already focused on Hannibal. He buys into an idea of having a family with him and Abigail, which is amazing for Will, who has just said he could never relate to the concept of family.

When Will buys a gift for Abigail in the same E4 and freaks out, Hannibal asks him:

*Hannibal: Feeling paternal, Will?*

Will’s reaction is instant and defensive:

*Will: Aren’t you?*

Hannibal easily says “yes”, which disarms Will. This is a great contrast between them: Hannibal isn’t afraid to talk and acknowledge his feelings while Will is embarrassed of them and shies away from them. In fact, this is a repeat of their conversation in E2.

*Hannibal: You saved Abigail Hobbs' life. You also orphaned her. It comes with certain emotional obligations.*

*Will: You were there. You saved her life, too. Do you feel obligated?*

Again, Will deflects. He’s wary of emotions, especially of admitting them out loud.

Will shows a hint of romantic interest in Hannibal in E7. He brings him a bottle of wine out of blue, but unfortunately, he stumbles upon the party Hannibal is preparing. Hannibal invites him to stay, but Will says he won’t be good company. He’s shy and awkward, smiling nervously and dropping his gaze in embarrassment. Then we have this lovely line:

*Will: I’ve got a date with the Chesapeake Ripper.*

So, in S1, Will makes considerable emotional progress. He realizes he wants a family after all, and while he makes several half-hearted attempts to court Alana, he’s mostly focused on Hannibal and Abigail. He opens himself up to Hannibal, receives official guardianship over Abigail with him, arguably flirts with Hannibal (like in the wine scene above), and covers up murder to protect their family. But then Hannibal betrays him. Will doesn’t know his reasons yet, but this betrayal plunged him into darkness, bitterness, and new stage of emotional repression. It’s worth mentioning another point of Abigail here: in the end, Will doesn’t know her. He spoke to her only several times, and even fewer times were genuine. He loves the idea of her, and this idea was introduced by Hannibal, not by Abigail’s presence. It’s Hannibal who forced Will to confront his need to love and be loved.

In S2, Will is incredibly conflicted. He acknowledges to Hannibal that he hurt him, tries to kill him via Matthew, but when he recognizes that Hannibal wants him as a friend (as spoken in E7), his attitude changes. Will doesn’t plan to forgive him, he’s still angry at Hannibal for killing Abigail (which is his biggest conflict, as evident from his talks with Hannibal himself and Freddie), but now, he can’t bring himself to harm or betray Hannibal.

He gets his first chance in E7, after being released from prison. He threatens Hannibal with a gun and has a perfect chance to make him pay, but he doesn’t. Instead, he conspires with Jack and decides to cultivate co-dependency, creating an environment where only he “and the fish exist” (E8). What does Will do to start? He makes himself physically attractive, grooming and dressing prettily. It’s a seduction on all levels, and Will plans to use emotions to hurt Hannibal back. At the same time, Will admits to being confused over what he feels for Hannibal.

E8 of S2.

*Will: I envy you your hate. Makes it much easier when you know how to feel.*

E9 of S2 (talking about trying to kill Hannibal with Margot).

*Margot: Did he have it coming?*

*Will: What do you think?*

*Margot: I can't say that I know.*

*Will: Neither can I.*

He spends the rest of the season lying to both Hannibal and Jack, unsure whose side to choose, too lost in his own feelings to make sense of them. At the same time, he has a dream where Hannibal calls him beloved in E9. It shows that Will contemplates the idea of love in relation to Hannibal. In E10, Will tries to fantasize about Alana as he’s having sex with Margot. However, he sees the image of Wendigo near the fireplace, Wendigo who he’s used to associating with Hannibal. Two interesting things (copied from my other meta): first, Will actually sees Hannibal’s room and consequently, he sees himself in it (or he sees their rooms united). Second, he sees the Wendigo near Hannibal’s fireplace. Fireplace has many meanings, including passion, sexuality, home, family, and resurrection. It emphasizes the sexual and romantic subtext of this uniquely shot scene, where people destined to be together have sex with the wrong partners. Will’s vision begins to contract, focusing on Wendigo: he is having an orgasm at this very moment, imagining the Wendigo’s face very close, approaching him. Still through the misty eyes, he tries to focus on Alana again, but his gaze moves up to Wendigo above her, as if he can’t help himself. He and Hannibal reach orgasm first, with Alana and Margot following them. So, Will dragged Hannibal into his sex fantasy. It’s both symbolic and physical: he tried to imagine Alana just like he tried to have a relationship with her before, in S1, out of his desire to be normal. But his attention is inevitably drawn to Hannibal, who’s his “real deal”.

Based on this scene, it’s underlined once again how Will struggles with emotions. Even in the safety of his own mind, in his own fantasy, he tries to think of Alana but still ends up with Hannibal. Will is always fighting himself and who he is. He refuses to accept his darkness just as he refuses to admit he loves Hannibal. It’s the essence of who he is, denial is his second name.

Among the important moments, there are Will’s words to Hannibal:

*Will: You are right. We are just alike. You are as alone as I am. And we are both alone without each other.*

So, Will accepts the bond with Hannibal, and at this stage, he even has the courage to voice some of his emotional thoughts. His progress is slow, but it’s there.

In E11, Will has a nightmare. He sees a burning corpse of ‘Freddie’ in a wheelchair, a symbol of his betrayal of Hannibal, and he hears his own increasing screaming. It’s easy to interpret, knowing the context: Will feels guilty for lying to Hannibal.

When Margot loses her child, Will feels renewed anger at Hannibal. He fantasizes about killing him and gets to realize his fantasy with Mason’s help in E12. But at the last moment, Will changes his mind and chooses Hannibal. He does the same thing in E13 by calling him. When he sees him, he doesn’t even try to point a gun at him: he asks why he didn’t leave as he was supposed to, and he even leans forward to accept the knife, accept the punishment for betrayal.

So, Will chooses Hannibal over Abigail, for whom he wanted justice; over his and Margot’s child, for whom he wanted revenge; over Jack and Alana, who were his only semblance of friends; over his own confusion and desire to be normal. For someone as emotionally stunted as Will, it’s huge. It proves that he loves Hannibal and is willing to compromise all other relationships he has formed as well his own beliefs for him (while Will is dark, he tries to fight it because he doesn’t think people like them are normal). Is it romantic? Will’s dream with the word “beloved” and his sex fantasy, as well as his acceptance of the idea that he and Hannibal were Abigail’s fathers (which makes them partners) imply that yes, romantic feeling is a part of it.

Hannibal’s romantic feelings became explicit in S3, and so did Will’s. But since Hannibal is more open and self-accepting, his were discussed out loud while Will’s were mostly portrayed silently, implied, and alluded to.

Will builds a boat to sail and find Hannibal, which is pretty romantic by itself. He spends his time in Hannibal’s house, in the kitchen where their bloody break-up happened, imagining Abigail near him. When Alana comes to find him, he asks her to leave. He’s cold and indifferent toward her — she’s not what he wants, and he’s not interested in even friendship with her. All he wants is to mourn his lost family with Hannibal and Abigail. Again, Hannibal is Will’s priority.

Will imagines his perfect world as the one where he and Hannibal killed Jack together. This scene is intercut with his Mizumono memories, namely, with Hannibal's face that emerges every time he moves yet another part of the engine. This is a vivid demonstration of Will trying to repair what is now broken. When Jack asks him why he called him, Will is indifferent and genuine:

*Will: I wasn't decided when I called him. I just called him. I deliberated while the phone rang. I decided when I heard his voice … I told him to leave. I wanted him to run … Because he was my friend. And because I wanted to run away with him.*

That’s a big admission for Will. This is the first time he openly acknowledges Hannibal as his friend in front of another person. Chilton calls Will and Hannibal’s interactions a “flirtation” in this episode, which once again points us in the romantic direction.

The entire E2 of S3 is dedicated to Will’s love for Hannibal, where he argues about it with himself in the form of imaginary Abigail. This is another proof of Will’s problem with emotions in general and emotions for Hannibal in particular. He can’t just think to himself as normal people do — no, he can’t admit how much he loves Hannibal this. Instead, he imagines Abigail and talks to himself through her to make it easier. He berates himself for lying.

*Will/Abigail: We were all supposed to leave together. He made a place for us. Why did you lie to him? He gave you a chance to take it all back, and you just kept lying.*

Will is reverent about Hannibal; he keeps talking about him over and over again.

*Will: This isn't Hannibal, it's just where he begins. Beyond this, far and complex, light and dark, is the vast structure of his mind. A thousand rooms, miles of corridors. Everything he remembers, wonderfully and fearfully reconstructed.*

Will goes as far as lies at the place where Hannibal’s Valentine heart for him was, reconstructing this image and trying to feel close to him. The heart comes to life the moment Will touches it, which is romantic. Will says:

*Will: A valentine written on a broken man … I do feel closer to Hannibal here. God only knows where I would be without him … He left us his broken heart … He misses us.*

He looks on the verge of tears, so Hannibal’s gift touched him. Will is overcome by emotions. At this very moment, his more frightened side suggests that Hannibal is also playing with him.

*Will: Hannibal follows several trains of thought at once without distraction from any, and one of the trains is always for his own amusement.*

We know it’s not the case, especially here, but Will has trust issues and a low self-esteem. He’s worried that Hannibal’s feelings for him aren’t as strong as he thinks they are, which is why he’s not sure how to react himself. He asks himself, *“You still want to go with him?”* and replies, *“Yes.” He wonders about what life they’d have if they left.

*Will: What if no one died? What if we all left together? Like we were supposed to. After he served the lamb. Where would we have gone? … In some other world.*

Pazzi comes and tells Will that he hopes they’ll catch Hannibal together.

*Will: What makes you think I want to catch him?*

Later, Pazzi says:

*Pazzi: He let you know him. He sent you his heart.*

E2 ends with Will scaring Pazzi and telling him, *“You don’t know whose side I’m on.* Then he tells Hannibal he forgives him, which is also a huge step in his direction.

This entire episode proves that yes, Will loves Hannibal. Considering how he isn’t awkward from receiving a Valentine or hearing that Hannibal gave him his heart, Will shares the romantic aspect of Hannibal’s feelings for him. He regrets not running away with him and their daughter, he places himself on the floor where the heart was to feel closer to him — this is such a rich romantic subtext that it’s practically text. Especially for Will, who remains so conflicted and emotionally restrained all the time.

Will’s attitude changes after seeing Chiyoh. He becomes more bitter. Considering how dark he is in these scenes and how he constantly compares himself and Chiyoh, he likely sees her as someone Hannibal was supposed to love but easily abandoned. It makes Will draw the parallels between them, and he starts to doubt that Hannibal loves him, that his “broken heart” has any authentic meaning. That’s where he starts thinking about killing Hannibal again. He still says:

*Will: I’ve never known myself as well as I know myself when I’m with him.*

This line also speaks volumes. Hannibal gave Will a precious gift of understanding himself; he showed that he could accept him, and Will is drawn to it. Will admits the depth of their connection to yet another person. Then he makes a firefly from Chiyoh’s prisoner, a tribute that is clearly done with Hannibal in his mind, considering the style and the central topic.

Chiyoh sees right through Will’s emotional constipation. She implies that he should “kiss” Hannibal rather than keep being “violent”:

*Chiyoh: I told you, there are means of influence other than violence.*

She kisses Will then, thus showing him what others means exist. He doesn’t get it, though, since he responds to her kiss despite not feeling anything for her, and she pushes him off the train, likely admitting he’s a hopeless case.

Meeting Jack, Will tells him that a part of him will always want to leave with Hannibal. This is yet another declaration from him. Will isn’t scared of the consequences — he speaks of his feelings openly now. It’s a great development of his character.

But the feeling of doubt about Hannibal likely resurfaces further after Will sees that Hannibal replaced him and Abigail with Bedelia in E6 (hence his hatred for her since that moment). He mocks her alibi and then leaves to reunite with Hannibal. The following moment was deleted, but it still discloses some of Will’s romantic feelings:

*Will: I looked up at the night sky there. Orion above the horizon and, near it, Jupiter. I wondered if you could see it, too. I wondered if our stars were the same.*

From the words that did get into the episode:

*Will: You and I have begun to blur ... We're conjoined. Curious if either of us can survive separation.*

Will doesn’t just admit the bond between them, he elevates it the level of soulmates, implying they are one and the same. It’s also a declaration of love in his language. But love doesn’t stop Will from being vindictive, hurt, and angry, so after meetings with Chiyoh and Bedelia that affected his perception, he pulls out a knife as he and Hannibal are walking together.

There is a brain-sawing disaster after this and E7, where Will looks done and tired from the madness and his constant attempts to figure Hannibal out. He does bite Cordell before looking at Hannibal, seeking his approval; he uses “we” pronouns when speaking about Hannibal with Alana. One example:

*Will: You helped Mason Verger find us.*

So, he still sees himself and Hannibal as a team, but he’s still tired and bitter, so after everything is over, he hurts Hannibal by saying he doesn’t share his appetite and by attacking him emotionally.

*Will: I miss my dogs. I'm not going to miss you. I'm not going to find you. I'm not going to look for you. I don't want to know where you are or what you do. I don't want to think about you anymore.*

This is all personal and emotional. It sounds like a break-up, which is exactly how Bryan Fuller and others referred to it. When Hannibal leaves and Jacks arrives, Will puts on his glasses, an indication that he’s hiding again.

Fast-forward 3 years. Will is married now, but from the very start, we see that this marriage isn’t all people usually expect it to be. The first scene shows the family apart. Molly and Walter have gone fishing, which is something Will loves. He had dreams about teaching Abigail how to fish, but he doesn’t go to do that with his family, preferring to stay alone instead. It’s the first hint that his heart isn’t in this relationship, that he’s too hung up on the past to move forward and make new happy memories.

Jack came to drag him to Dragon’s case, and Will makes it look like he’s reluctant. At the same time, he doesn’t send Jack away, even though we know from the past that he has no qualms being frank when he wants to. More than that, he asks him not to show pics to Molly, but when they have dinner, Will deliberately leaves the house with Walter, leaving Jack and Molly together. At night, when Molly’s asleep, he crawls out of bed and goes to read Hannibal’s letter. He doesn’t tell the truth to Molly about himself and his dark urges, about everything he has done – Molly clearly has no idea who he truly is, considering how she jokes about his ‘criminal mind’ in later episodes and how Will immediately closes himself off from her. He never initiates physical touches with her; he doesn’t return her “I love you”, which is an even bigger indication of his lack of commitment. Will is emotionally stiff with Molly for the most part, and the only times he laughs with her or shows any emotion is when they are talking about superficial stuff in the former case and when he’s furious after Francis’ attack in the latter one. Other than that, there is no closeness or honesty.

Another point of Will’s inability to express or even give his love to someone is in his scene with Walter in E11. This child, his step-son, has just been attacked by a serial killer with his mother. His mother was hurt and they barely escaped. Will doesn’t hug him or offer him paternal emotional comfort; he’s very awkward. All he says is, “You're both safe here,” which is something an officer might say but not a father. Will was much more emotional in his fantasies about Abigail.

This is what Will says about Walter’s reaction to Jack:

*Will: He read about me in a Freddie Lounds article. I had to justify myself to an eleven year old.*

He’s resentful and not emotional. He doesn’t say, “I had to justify myself to my son!” – he distances himself from him. Will is cold. He has expressed his feelings for Hannibal at this point in rather poetic ways, but he can’t be bothered to do this for his wife and his son.

He treats Hannibal in a very reserved fashion too, in comparison to how he acted 3 years ago. However: first, there is the fact that he came to visit him in the first place. Will didn’t need his help, we saw very clearly how he managed to easily reconstruct the crime scene the night before. It proved that his mindset is in a good shape, so he didn’t need Hannibal’s assistance. But it’s Hannibal he requested to see right away.

Will distances himself from him by calling him “Doctor Lecter” and insisting that he’s more comfortable the less personal they are. His eyes glisten, though, and he can’t look away from Hannibal. The impersonal approach doesn’t last very long, too, and soon, they are talking like they always did. Hannibal accuses Will of marrying for false reasons.

*Hannibal: How did you choose yours? Readymade wife and child to serve your needs. A stepson or daughter. A stepson absolves you of any biological blame. You know better than to breed. Can't pass on those terrible traits you fear the most.*

Will doesn’t bother to deny it, though any man would have been offended, particularly if he truly loved his family. In Will’s case, from the experience and all the precedents, silence = agreement.

In E10, Will seeks Bedelia out. He acts catty and jealous, targeting her personal connection with Hannibal.

*Will: You didn't lose yourself, Bedelia, you just crawled so far up his ass you couldn't be bothered.* - personal, targeted against Bedelia's attachment to Hannibal.

*Will: You hitched your star to a man commonly known as a monster. You're the Bride of Frankenstein.* - personal, attack with romantic connotation. Bedelia catches up on it and mocks him:

*Bedelia: We've both been his bride. Have you been to see him?*

*Will: Yes.*

*Bedelia: Haven't learned anything, have you? Or did you just miss him that much?*

*Will: Have you been to see him?* - personal again. Will wants to know if Bedelia is keeping contact with Hannibal.

*Bedelia: I've seen enough of him. I was with him behind the veil. You were always on the other side.*

*Will: Something we should talk about.* - again, personal. It's all personal, which is why Bryan and Hugh called them Hannibal's jealous bitchy exes. Will is palpably jealous and he shows his resentment to Bedelia openly.

Later, we have some more romantic references.

*Bedelia: My relationship with Hannibal is not as passionate as yours. You are here visiting old flame. Is your wife aware of how intimately you and Hannibal know each other? … Your experience of Hannibal’s attention is so profoundly harmful yet so irresistible, it undermines your ability to think rationally.*

So, there is romantic text, parallels between Hannibal and Will’s wife, and Will doesn’t deny any of this again. He keeps coming to Bedelia because she’s the only person he can talk about Hannibal to without being watched.

After Hannibal sends Francis after Molly and Walter, Will spends about a minute being angry with him. Then he accuses Hannibal of staging a competition between him and Francis. It is startling: Will spent months, years mourning the loss of Abigail who he didn’t even really know personally, yet he forgets the gravity of what happened to his wife and won very quickly. He leaves Molly and Walter and tells Bedelia that they are finished. One traumatic event, and Will left. It coincides with something very important that happened here: after this, Will finally figures out Hannibal is truly in love with him. So he goes to Bedelia to discuss it with her.

*Will: Is Hannibal in love with me?*

*Bedelia: Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes. But do you ache for him?*

Will is predictably silent. Obviously, if the answer was no, he would have said no. But he struggles because like we established, he has issues with expressing emotions. He only managed to start referring to Hannibal as his friend openly in this season, opening up about some of his feelings, but he’s not ready to go this far. It would be absolutely out of character for Will to say, “Yes, you know, I’m in love with him! Thanks for helping me see it.” Every confession Will makes is preceded by struggles and heartbreak. But he’s going to reply to Bedelia’s question, only not explicitly-verbally.

Will sets up Chilton and then comes to allegedly say good-bye to Hannibal. He lies several times in their conversation (about Chilton and Molly with Walter), so all his words are automatically suspicious. Regardless, he destroys Hannibal emotionally and walks away. Personally, I believe he was already planning to break him out, so he was playing it up for cameras and also taking a chance to hurt Hannibal for everything again. But whatever his plan was, what happens next is that Will conspires with Francis against Jack, Alana, and the FBI. They agree to break Hannibal out together. Will lies to Jack and then gets to ask Hannibal for help. He’s being flirty and manipulative in this scene.

*Will: I need you, Hannibal … You're our best shot, Hannibal. Please.*

He’s smirking, he leans close to Hannibal, he sends him a flirty look from under his eyelashes. Will is thoroughly enjoying himself, and he does it best when he has some excuse to hide behind.

Later, he lies to Jack and Alana again, leaks info to Francis (who nearly killed his wife and son), and gets many officers killed by proxy. He tells Bedelia the truth that he doesn’t “intend Hannibal to be caught a second time.” He also implies that he’s going to let him go free, which is why Bedelia should pack her bags.

*Bedelia: Can't live with him. Can't live without him. Is that what this is?*

This time, Will agrees, although in his way.

*Will: I guess this is my Becoming.*

For Will, Becoming was always connected to his feelings for Hannibal because accepting himself and his darkness meant being free to escape with Hannibal.

*Bedelia: You found religion. Nothing more dangerous than that.*

In E3, it was stated that love is a God (you can find more here https://www.reddit.com/r/HannibalTV/comments/7w54dg/lovegodreligion_s3_parallels/), so it’s possible to say that religion = love in this context. It certainly makes sense. Will is accepting himself and his emotions, and the trigger was establishing for sure that Hannibal is in love with him.

Will and Hannibal drive to the cliff house. When Hannibal asks Will if he intends to save himself by killing them both (Hannibal and Francis), Will replies:

*Will: I don't know if I can save myself. And maybe that's just fine.*

This is the first time he confesses that he might be incapable of killing Hannibal. Predictably, when Francis comes, Will can’t handle seeing Hannibal killed, so he reaches for his gun.

Will and Hannibal work as a unit and protect each other. Hannibal is shot, nearly strangled, thrown onto the ground, and he is still weakly holding on Francis' leg to prevent him from going after Will, even though it leaves him in an open and vulnerable position — Francis does kick him in the face with his other leg. There is fierce determination on Will's face as he stands up despite the pain and runs to save Hannibal. They act in synch, consummating their relationship.

Then, Will admires how blood looks on his hand and repeats Hannibal’s words:

*Will: It really does look black in the moonlight.*

He remembers the words Hannibal said to him weeks ago in one of their endless interactions. A bit earlier, he perfectly recalled the words Hannibal told him *years* ago, back in the middle of S2.

*Will: I understand that “blood and breath are only elements undergoing change to fuel your Radiance." Hannibal said those words. To me.*

So, Will remembers everything Hannibal told him. He stores these memories. It’s a small but still important proof how important Hannibal is for him.

At the cliff, Will finally accepts the truth.

*Hannibal: See. This is all I ever wanted for you, Will. For both of us.*

We know what Hannibal wanted: a Murder Husband. What does Will say to this?

*Will: It’s beautiful.*

This is a loud “yes” to Bedelia’s question about his feelings. Will acknowledges, accepts, and admires them. He doesn’t feel awkward, as he would if he knew Hannibal is in love with him but didn’t feel the same. No, he reaches forward to embrace him, and such physical contact from Will is mind-blowing because he almost never does it. He clings to Hannibal, puts his head on his shoulder, touches him as if he wants to melt with him. Then he gives the fate a chance to stop both of them or to set them free. They fall into the ocean under the Love Crime song, another romantic element.

Water symbolizes reborn, and post-credits scene indicates that Will and Hannibal have paid a visit to Bedelia and are in the process of eating her while she’s hiding the fork to stab one of them as he approaches. The deleted epilogue to the series shows that they are in perfect harmony now.

**Conclusion**: Will has passed through a long, painful journey. He went from hiding from emotions and deflecting to not denying and carefully acknowledging them. We don’t hear words “love” or “in love” from him in relation to Hannibal because Will is not that kind of person. He doesn’t use these words freely, and for him, every small emotional step is a struggle. He tried to deceive himself and other numerous times; he tied to deny the truth and manipulate his own mind, but with each season, his feelings for Hannibal became more and more explicit. Will reaching out for physical contact, Will saying “It’s beautiful” are his way of saying, “I ached for you. I love you.”

This is a story of mutual love and obsession, about soulmates, about unique type of connection that few people share. It’s not about Hannibal falling in love and Will not feeling the same. Their feelings are equally strong, but they express them differently, particularly as Will’s are tied to the acceptance of his own darkness.

#will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram #nbc hannibal #murder husbands

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outbythehighwind · 3 years

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The Misconceptions of FF7: A Cloud, Aerith & Tifa Analysis Part 2/5

Link to all parts: https://outbythehighwind.tumblr.com/post/640347336477966336/the-misconceptions-of-ff7-a-cloud-aerith-tifa

Last post, I examined the misconceptions around Cloud’s character with a brief psychological analysis on how the selves that are “Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud and ‘real’ Cloud pertain to ‘Cloud’ the being. This was to evidence that Cloud’s feelings (as both “Ex-SOLDIER” and his true self) are ‘Cloud’s’, and to refute the nonsensical notions that: the player until the Lifestream sequence is not really playing as Cloud; Cloud’s feelings toward Aerith are Zack’s; and only the ‘real’ Cloud’s feelings for Tifa are valid (because “Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud has feelings for Aerith).

I had referred to ‘feelings’ in the general sense. These next two posts will examine them in the specific spheres of friendship and romance.

Nowhere in the game or FF7 compilation does it explicitly state that Cloud romantically “loves” or “is in love with” Aerith or Tifa. FF7 handles its themes in a manner that is incredibly human and complex. So, before attempting an objective analysis of his ‘feelings’ beyond the general sense – ie. what kind of love he has for each woman – I want to draw attention to the role of the player.

The developers want the player to form their own attachments, have the agency to play to them out, and have their own emotions evoked throughout their experience of the game. This is why the love triangle exists within the narrative – narrative being that tool by design (how the story is told; the lens by which the player experiences the game, and the tool by which the writers play with the player’s emotions). The player can, to a degree, make choices that alter story events within the narrative. They can manipulate the affection points to take Aerith or Tifa (or even Yuffie) on the Gold Saucer date. They can keep the relationship with both women platonic and have a bro’s night out with Barret. A player who is torn between the girls can therefore experience ‘more’ of the love triangle than a player who takes the latter route of bonding with Barret.

Which brings me to another nonsensical argument: that because the date mechanics ‘favor’ Aerith (who begins with a 20 affection point advantage over Tifa), the game wants Cloud to date Aerith, and therefore Cloud’s true love is Aerith. Again, nonsense. For this argument to stand, it must first adhere to the fact that the love triangle exists outside of the date mechanics: if the game wants Cloud to date Aerith, it must want Cloud to date Aerith in its plot (the always true relationship between story events that does not alter on player decision). This particular date is only an available option within the narrative. That is not to say it is not canonical – quite the contrary. Of course Aerith’s date is canonical. So is Tifa’s, or Yuffie’s, or Barret’s – if the player so chooses. It is not a plot matter, but an experience for the player.

But let us assume, for a moment, that it were a plot matter. Let us assume Cloud’s ‘romantic love’ is the person he spends the night out with at Gold Saucer. Aside from the obvious Barret and Yuffie alternatives, here is the problem: who comes for a night out is not determined by Cloud’s affection toward them, but their approachability in their affections toward Cloud. It is Aerith or Tifa (or Barret or Yuffie) who takes Cloud out. Naturally Aerith would begin with points higher than Tifa because there is no barrier of a dark & secret past between them, and Tifa has lower self-confidence, tending to lock her feelings away.

So the player has agency over the Gold Saucer experience. This does not alter the plot. Aerith will die; and Cloud’s “sealed up secret wish” involving Tifa will be brought to light in the Lifestream.

Cloud’s feelings in the plot sense – ie. as they truly are (not to the player’s subjection, but objectively Cloud’s) – are complex. Before giving my two cents worth on two beautifully deep relationships, to all who say that ‘because Cloud romantically loves one girl he doesn’t care about the other,’ I propose the following statement:

“Those who cannot conceive Friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a Friend.” – C.S. Lewis

I lament with Mr. Lewis at the degradation of friendship's meaning in the world today. So when I speak of friendship, I wish to stress its meaning: that it is one of the highest forms of love.

Cloud’s feelings toward Aerith, I believe, can be interpreted as either of the two loves – friendship or Eros (romantic love) – or both. Even within the experience of Gold Saucer, I personally have not any solid evidence that Cloud’s feelings for Aerith are Eros, and whether they are or not has no influence on the plot. Cloud and Aerith will become (very) close; Aerith will die; Cloud will be distraught; and Cloud will continue the fight they started together – Eros or no Eros. That being said, I can see how conclusions of Eros are a possibility. Cloud’s investment in Aerith’s journey and well-being is very personal. His care toward her runs so deep, in fact, that his “Ex-SOLDIER” persona is often cracked.

Aerith is the first and only character to humor this self that Cloud is so desperate to project to the world. She takes the mickey by giving him the title なんでも屋さん (“Nandemoyasan”) – “Mr. Jack of all trades”. Yet she allows him to ‘play SOLDIER’ in making him her bodyguard and supportively holding him to that role.

Cloud is encouraged and feels strong when he is with Aerith. She raises his self-confidence and trust in his own strength in a uniquely distinct way that no other character does – not even Tifa. Though he is encouraged by Tifa to “be strong” also – in a uniquely distinct way pertaining to his accepting of self (which is, ultimately, what saves him) – Cloud feels weak around Tifa, due to his constant failure to live up to being her hero as he perceives it. With Aerith, we have the opposite effect.

Aerith simultaneously encourages the “Ex-SOLDIER” façade and breaks through it. They share laughter and tease one another on the rooftops. Cloud reveals his soft side when urging her to open up to him.

Aerith realizes that she does not know the ‘real’ Cloud, and tries very hard to find him, to bring him out. However, she does not. Not even within the Lifestream where he ends up twice in a broken state and she has maintained her complete physical consciousness. This is a role that only Tifa can fulfil.

Likewise, Cloud realizes Aerith is facing her own inner struggle – of what it means to be a Cetra – and he time and again goes out of his way to try help her, from risking his life to rescue her from Shinra to pushing to talk to her even when she wants to be left alone (note how Aerith turns her face away in the screenshots below). The writing stresses that this is by Cloud’s own investment, not simply that of the party’s as its leader. “But I’m… we’re here for you, right?”

Paralleling Aerith’s inability to reach Cloud’s true self, Cloud is unable to help her in discovering and fulfilling her task as the last Cetra, and Aerith finds herself more and more “alone” in pertinence to her inner conflict.

Her nandemoyasan, her dear friend, fails her, and that haunts Cloud after her death as he grapples with his own role in saving the Planet – a hope that is lost without Aerith.

Which now brings us to her death.

Aerith dies at the point where Cloud’s inner conflict against Sephiroth first peaks for the worst. Just having become aware that Sephiroth can override his very conscious (being forced to hand over the Black Materia in the Temple of the Ancients), Cloud has begun to doubt himself and is immensely afraid of who he is. Immediately following is his failure to save Aerith.

Cloud, whose entire life struggle and “Ex-SOLDIER” persona were built upon his self-loathing due to feelings of failure, weakness and inadequacy, has just failed to save this woman so precious to him. We see the haunting and guilt it holds over him in Advent Children, where he despairs and distances himself from his family for fear of failing them too.

Cloud does everything in his power to ensure Aerith’s mission is complete, not just for sake of the Planet, but for Aerith. The fight for the Planet is the party’s fight – the “we” fight, together as a whole. But it is more for Cloud, so much more.

“I’ll do the rest.”

Cloud’s external fight for the Planet and his personal feud with Sephiroth is in much part out of his deep love for Aerith.

This love is, no doubt, an incredibly powerful mutual friendship. It is clear that, in addition to this friendship, Aerith has romantic feelings for Cloud (which I will evidence in part 4), but what of Cloud for Aerith? Could he have feelings for her that are Eros too? Absolutely. I have found no evidence implicitly for it, nor implicitly against it, and that to me is a beauty of player experience in the narrative. (I also believe this is what Nomura meant when he expressed his desire to leave interpretation to the player.)

However, in the sense of plot and Cloud’s feelings that are not up for the player’s interpretation, I hold to my understanding that Cloud – even if having romantic feelings toward Aerith – is romantically in love with Tifa, and that that Eros is core to his very being.

I will not say “there’s nothing more” between Aerith and Cloud even in my interpretation of them as friends. For that implies friendship is a lesser love than Eros, which I do not believe is true. C.S. Lewis said that (no pun intended) “To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves,” “the crown of life and the school of virtue”, and I agree with his saying that “few value it because few experience it.”

My hope is simply this: that people would lose this notion of ‘competition’ – that one girl must win ‘all’ of Cloud’s affections, and that at the expense of one ‘winning’, his relationship with the other is belittled.

Link to all parts: https://outbythehighwind.tumblr.com/post/640347336477966336/the-misconceptions-of-ff7-a-cloud-aerith-tifa

#ff7 1997 #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough #tifa lockhart #my analyses #ff7 advent children #ff7 remake

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dnd-vigilante · 3 years

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Tawny Jack

Tawny Jack is dark skinned with messy, frizzy black hair that often stands on end and frequently contains twigs, leaves, or bird feathers. Tends to wear subdued colors like brown, black, or dark green. Responding to “Tawny”, “Jack”, or “Tawny Jack” others viewing Tawny Jack are not sure whether they are male or female and when asked directly they respond with something along the lines of “you can’t tell?” or “you must not have very good vision then,” but never gives a direct answer. Tawny Jack was born to parents who made a living as trappers and hunters for a village. As such, they spent most of their time in the wilderness, only coming into the village with their parents to trade for goods and any village gatherings that required everyone be in attendance, such as when an Envoy of the Forgotten passed through the area.

They showed an interest in how the natural world functioned from a very young age. They spent much of their free time trying discover why things worked the way they did.Exploring the deeper places of the jungle that most if not all of the villagers never entered. They once found an ancient silver coin with a stylized owl on one side and a blank silver face on the other. (Once a day you may flip the coin, heads you roll a natural 20, tails it does nothing. This can be used on ability checks or an attack roll. Old item of Owlbert’s.)

They met a man named Ignatius who held compatible, though not identical, ideas about the natural world. More reserved than their new friend, Tawny Jack actively encouraged Ignatius’ flamboyant personality as a way to vicariously express themselves without having to do it themselves. This encouragement eventually led to a confrontation with the village elders after trying to convince the town to value innovation as a natural part of being a sentient being rather than just mindlessly listening to the Envoys and being “encouraged” to leave the village with Ignatius.

One night during their travel the two friends ran into some trouble on the road. Fleeing the danger they ran into the jungle where they were rescued by an interesting creature. He called himself Lightsong, and claimed to be a creature older than time. Speaking with Lightsong, Tawny realized the world needed help, the Daemons and Terrors were not of this world and needed to be stopped. Lightsong advised Tawny Jack to follow the path of Nature, for it is, as they suspected for years, the soul of the world. Gifted by Lightsong with armor and a sword formed from ironwood, Tawny Jack gained a sense of power that day. The very day a mark of silvery light appeared on the back of their left hand. Soon after gaining their powers, Tawny Jack realizes that the bits of feather that frequently adorned their hair were now actually growing from their scalp and were all of the same tan and white variety(tawny owl).

Mount Variant - Guard Drake

The Shrine of Esso appears to be a breeding ground for these magical creatures. Perhaps through the magic of the shrine they appear to be smarter than the average Guard Drake. They have become accustomed to dealing with people and are willing to be trained. You spend several years training the Guard Drake and forming a bond with it, allowing you to use it as a mount in your adventures.

Tawny’s Log

Rather than returning to Eastcliff, and having no desire to go exploring after the traumatic events of the fall of Noh Weir, Tawny makes their home near the dragonshrine of Esso. Remembering the blue guard drakes and thinking that they would make a wonderful complement to their newfound penchant for riding down enemies on wooden elk back, Tawny decides to spend their time over the next few years raising a drake from the egg and training it as a mount.

“The battle for Noh Weir was rough. I had a wall fall on me. Not to mention that other weird place we were all transported to. I have never seen so many daemons in my life. Others of the group seem to want to go out into the world exploring and hunting, but I don’t think I can quite bring myself to do that… I think I need a break from all the slaughter and violence. Some time to myself and to reignite my light if you will. After we split up with the promise to meet again at the shrine of Esso in four years time I went straight there with Thelonius and built a small hut in the jungle not far from the shrine itself. If I remember correctly, those drakes were pretty interesting. I wonder if I can make friends?”

Tawny has several moments of inspiration during this time.

The first happens soon after they manage to trade an egg from the drakes for copious amounts of food. Tawny spends several days meditating over the egg and picking apart the spell they use to summon their paladin mount, binding the drake to them while it is still in its infancy.

“Good news, bad news time. Yes, the drakes can be reasoned with. No, the adults will not let me pet them. I think I need more bandages. Regardless, I have managed to persuade them to part with a single egg and I could not be happier. The branch and vine elk was neat, but a living, breathing friend will be way better. I’ve been spending the last few days with the egg tucked under my shirt to keep it warm. Since I can’t really move around too much while the egg is there I’ve been thinking a lot. I know, shocker, but the meditation seems to help. Both with coming to terms with the violence that happened and in my ideas about this little lizard here. I swear I can almost feel it within the shell.”

Another instance of clarity occurs when the young drake manages to gore itself on a tree branch in the jungle while Tawny had been running alongside it in armor. Why not make armor for the drake? Tawny took the time to slowly craft leather armor from crocodiles alongside the saddle and other tack they were already designing. Feeding the crocodile meat to the drake of course.

“AHHHHHHHH!!!! Chompy hurt himself! ….why am I writing down a scream that happened hours ago? He’s fine now. Good thing my healing seems to work on him just as well as it does on my friends and I. I need to find a way to prevent this from happening so easily again. I don’t get hurt nearly as often as he seems to. Ow. I just smacked myself in the forehead. Remember not to do that so hard. I was wearing my armor while the two of us were running in the jungle. Maybe I should make Chompy some armor? I could probably use the hide from all the crocodiles and Chompy sure wouldn’t mind the extra meat. He’s been growing like crazy recently.”

The final brilliant insight that Tawny has occurs in the final year of the downtime period. While practicing riding one day the drake made a sharp turn when is saw a small crocodile it wanted to snack upon. Tawny slipped from the saddle, caught their foot in the reins, and was subsequently dragged for a few dozen yards while the drake chased after the crocodile. How to put this ability to drag people to use? Tawny began to experiment with their thornwhip cantrip and after much trial and error was able to create a thornless variety that stuck around after the initial casting and could be used to lasso passing objects and creatures. (Ranged attack to hit with the “lasso” and then a grapple check)

“So this is kind of embarrassing, but also awesome! Embarrassing part is that I fell off of Chompy. I thought I was past that point in his training, but nooooooo, he had to go after the baby crocodile he saw sunning itself. Maybe I should have gone a little easier on the amount of crocodile meat I fed him when he was younger? My foot was caught in the reins and dragged me along the ground for a bit before the silly bastard caught his crocodile. While that was uncomfortable, it did give me an idea. I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to grab things with a looped rope. It kinda works and once it does I want to try doing it while riding Chompy. I wonder if I can catch things with my thorn whip spell too?”

#world building #Vigilante Gaming #npc #player characters

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gigsoupmusic · 4 years

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INTERVIEW - MICKO WESTMORELAND ON 'VELVET GOLDMINE' AND LIFE WITH THE MELLOTRONICS

Micko Westmoreland first came to the public's attention as the enigmatic Jack Fairey in the star-studded glam rock fake biopic 'Velvet Goldmine', and since then has done everything from making electronica as The Bowling Green to the sharp edged new wave of his current project Micko & The Mellotronics. With that band on the verge of releasing their second single, a double A-side with the timely 'Noisy Neighbours 'and 'You Killed My Father' (featuring the late Neil Innes), he spoke to Gigsoup to tell all... Starting at the beginning, you got your first break appearing in the film ‘Velvet Goldmine’… Quite a baptism of fire! Yep, I was fresh out of film school with little acting experience. So I did a ton of research, suspended all activities other than glam rock ones; late mornings, blurry eyeliner, became a kind of ‘Our Lady of the Flowers’, to quote Jean Genet. I did appear on set however with well prepared sleeve notes. Ziggy/Hunky and early Roxy had been teenage territory. Toni Colette really helped me during filming, showing me where and how to move and stand in frame etc. which I really wasn’t aware of and she was such a wonderful person to hang out with. Ewan McGregor was enormous in the 90s but treated you like a complete equal. I’ve acted the fiction of being a sensational rock star, my embalmed alter ego is now moth balled and hermetically sealed for posterity. What do you make of the film’s recent re-appraisal – it was panned at the time but now it’s considered a cult classic A lot of the film heavyweights liked it at the time and have consistently sung its praises over the last 20 years, which has contributed to its legacy, plus Todd Haynes is now seen as a 24-carat auteur. 1998 wasn’t ready for a kaleidoscopic pansexual odyssey. Velvet Goldmine truly tapped into a teenage hormonal feeling, so the audience is responsible for its longevity I think, people have grown old with it and new fans have discovered it. You had quite a lot of success making electronic music as The Bowling Green but then switched tack to making more song-based stuff. What’s the story there? The music I was making was becoming increasingly filmic, so I moved into movie sound tracks for a while and did two film scores and a few documentaries with my brother; acclaimed director Wash Westmoreland (Still Alice, Colette). One of them, Echo Park L.A., won best drama at Sundance in 2006! I was becoming more attuned to a literary narrative and was listening to Dylan’s Time out of Mind and Beck’s Sea Change at the time – couple that with improvements in technology that weren’t so reliant on sampler and keyboard. I started playing much more guitar again, my first love and now my primary instrument for writing. You made a couple of albums under your own name but then formed Micko & The Mellotronics – your first ‘band’ project. What was the thinking behind that move? I was very much used to working on my own. I made a couple of solo albums, one which Terry Edwards (P.J. Harvey/Holy Holy) released on his Sartorial label called ‘Wax & Wayne’, and ‘Yours Etc Abc’, on my own Landline records imprint, which I believe was the main unconscious projection into putting a live act together. The person doing PR for it asked, ‘Who’s in the band?’ When I realized I didn’t have one, it made sense to look for folk to start pushing sounds around. How would you sum up the band to someone you hadn’t heard you before? Can you name us a few bands that have influenced its sound? We get compared to the Buzzcocks quite a lot, I’ll take that. I’ve loved Magazine since teenage, Television too. I also dig Serge Gainsbourg majorly and bands like The Silver Apples. I’m really into Iso Tomita, the 70’s electronic musician and of course Mr. Eno too. People have commented that the double A side, soon to be released, is like early Genesis but I think it’s much closer to The Rutles. Patrick from R.O.C. said there was violence to the sound. I do pride the writing on an intricacy and eccentricity but without getting prog about it. Talk us through the Mellotronics members and their individual flavours... Nick Mackay a friend referred me to. He was playing in a two-piece called ‘Barricades’, and was clearly a very good drummer, real flare as a player/performer and had the magic ingredient for any band – he was a thoroughly decent chap you could spend a ton of time with. Jon Klein is our very own rock star hiding in plain sight. He has a CV better than the rest of us put together: Banshees, Sinead O’Connor to name a few and of course his own band Specimen. I lent Jon my amp when we were on the same bill. I gave him a copy of my previous album and he contacted me the next day, which I considered a big thumbs up. He’s very quick, obscenely talented and has revolutionized day-to-day working practice. In short a turbo charged V12 engine has been carefully placed inside a Hillman imp, with fresh brake pads added. Vicky Carroll the bassist also came through personal referral, Haydn Hades who does stand up. At the time she was playing in a band the ‘Owls of Now’, a very bright lady indeed. She really got what the band was about and had great style. The dynamic of now the band get on and its chemistry is essential to longevity. Having a woman on board was important to us, so we really lucked out by finding such a smart cookie in Vicky. So far, you’ve shared ‘The Finger’, your first single, and now two new tracks, which will (eventually) be released as a 7” single. Talk us through ‘Noisy Neighbors’ and ’You Killed My Father’. Noisy Neighbours came about from my experience with dealing with serial complainers whilst living in a housing co-op. We shot the video with filmmaker Ashley Jones (www.thechaoesengineers.com) in the next door location the inhabitants of the song were occupying, so we had to be quiet. Of course some complaints are genuine but most were more telling of the complainant than complainee. There are control issues, which come about as a result of trying to micromanage your environment beyond your own four walls. I wanted to make a witty statement about that without being over critical or condemning. Raising a single eyebrow over that type of behavior. ‘You Killed My Father’, the double A side was inspired by Neil Innes R.I.P. (Monty Python, Bonzo Dog, The Rutles). So of course I was thrilled when he agreed to play on it. I was introduced to him through an artist friend Harry Pye. We inadvertly created a supergroup together called the Spammed and meet up once a year to record for the Teenage Cancer Trust. Last session Tony Visconti produced a cover of Bolan’s ‘Get it on’, for us. It comprises, Rat Scabies (The Damned), Horace Panter (The Specials), Neil when he was with us and actor/comedian Kevin Eldon on vocs, I play guitar. The song relates to my childhood, growing up in Leeds and has a Shakespearean quality. I checked the prose with an expert to make sure I hadn’t over egged the pudding. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5iswf8GG6o You seem to be able to attract some interesting names to collaborate with - Horace Panter of The Specials and the late Neil Innes recently, but also members of The Blockheads, Madness, Stranglers and Goldfrapp in the past. Who would be top of your collaborative wish list? I’d love to do something with Eno again. We became friendly during the mid nineties. I was tutored by him, whilst working on an art show called ‘Self Storage’ with Laurie Anderson but never made it into the studio. A wild card like Wendy Carlos, famed for the soundtrack of ‘A Clockwork Orange’ would be great too. Likewise, your videos have featured some interesting names from British comedy… What do they bring to the party? Anyone else you’d like to get on board if you had free reign? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDr7nkOQN9Q All the comedy connections came from Kevin Eldon initially, a super bright and truly wonderful guy. He introduced me to Paul Putner at a Specials gig. Paul’s a brilliant bloke and really likes the band. He found the remarkable Suzy Kane for us. All three have taken excellent roles. Suzy had a lot of input in Noisy Neighbours, suggesting wardrobe and even shots to Ashley as we were making it; we really have had tremendous fun with our contributors. Obviously, Chris Morris would be fantastic but I’m a little afraid to knock. We hear the debut M&TM album is close to completion – what have you got in store for us? A psychedelic mish mash of fable, sound collage and idea. With the new single, 3 of the songs are now out there. On a musical front Horace Panter out of The Specials has guested on a couple of tracks for us and of course we have one of Neil Innes’ last performances too. I’ve written a song about Imelda Marcos, she seemed like a person who was way ahead of her time, a modern template for a highly manipulative battle-axe. I have an author friend in his 60s who’s an eminent psychologist, (Georg Eifert - Anxiety Happens) so I wrote a song called ‘The Fear’, with a lot of his theories in mind. There’s also one too called ‘Sick and Tired’, it’s not about what I’m eed up about, but like Noisy Neighbours it’s a comment about complaint. When writing I try to look at what gets talked about by everyday people and base some of the songs around those themes. Earwig on phone conversations on buses, pick up discarded bits of paper, when you get into the habit you’ll be amazed what you find. So I get on the 38 and set my brain to record. There’s also a fair amount about growing up on the record too, which I hope all can relate to. I think you have to start with a good idea, that’s on any level otherwise you’re unlikely to get far. From my art college days I got into the habit of noting things down, if you don’t it often escapes you. It’s difficult to marry a multitude of ingredients and let’s face it the world is full of plenty, pair it down and make it resonate. Anyone who tells you otherwise is telling porkies. To make something that stands the test of time is more difficult still. But I’m not afraid of the work and I enjoy ‘the doing’, for me that’s what it’s all about. I believe that as individuals we have a natural tendency to evolve, if we choose to see it that way and trust, it’ll ‘self fulfill’. If you’ll allow yourself to tap into that expansion creatively, you’ll always find inspiration. Micko & The Mellotronics release 'Noisy Neighbours / You Killed My Father' on Landline Records on April 17 with the 7" single schedule to hit the shops on June 27. Read the full article

#MELLOTRONICS

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forsythiias · 5 years

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hey ! i’m rachel. i’m 20 - almost 21 ! - she / her pronouns, gmt timezone ( i live in ireland and spend like a week in england every month at this rate . u guys will get used to it ). a fun fact abt me is that i spoke to hugh jackman & gave him a wolverine pin rly recently . that’s all i got . anyway. i’m playing jellybean jones, the baby of the fp jones fam ! she’s my absolute KID and i would LOVE to plot , so please feel free to shoot me a message or smash that like button and i’ll come at you in the not so distant future.

⌜ genderfluid, she / they / he | out of time by the rolling stones, the local record store, the pop culture fiend ⌟ ⏤ hey, isn’t that FORSYTHIA PARTHENIA JONES? the NINETEEN year old SOUTH SIDER has lived in town for their WHOLE LIFE, and has always denied their resemblance to DIANA SILVERS. they’ve been a STUDENT & WAITRESS for a while now, and i guess it makes sense - they’ve always seemed so TENACIOUS & INDIVIDUALISTIC, though i have heard that they can be pretty GARRULOUS & ACERBIC. did you hear about how they SOLD JACKED CARS IN TOLEDO TO PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH COLLEGE? i always knew that there was something up with them. you can check out her pinterest board HERE and her stat page HERE.

you can CHANGE the world, girl, you really, truly can.

part one of three : bullet point history. trigger warnings for talk of infant health issues.

august fifth, 2000. it was a sticky autumn night when FORSYTHIA PARTHENIA JONES entered the world with a pitiful cry. the only daughter of two south siders, gladys and fp, and the younger sister of a one jughead jones, she wasn’t born to MUCH ; which made all that she did have matter all the more. a mother and a father who loved her? check. an older brother she would someday idolize and love like no other in the world? double check. a small ventricular septal defect, discovered only after her birth? triple check.

forsythia was, it seemed, destined to be a sickly child. her first few months were dotted with trips to the emergency room and visits to a local doctor, something always seeming to be wrong. infant colic was ten times worse. she caught a chill when she was two weeks old and needed to spend a WEEK in the icu because of the resulting chest infection. the doctors who treated her at birth had been confident over time that the hole in her heart - jellybean shaped, on the very first ultrasound - would close by itself, as many do. hers, however, didn’t. as she got older, the effects became more pronounced. she kept catching chest infections. she couldn’t seem to put on weight. breathing was, at times, a struggle. and she was SLEEPIER than any baby they had ever known before. the original plan had been to wait and see and hope that her tiny heart healed on it’s own. at ten months old, it became apparent that this would never happen ; and the surgery was scheduled.

your baby is supposed to be PERFECT. she isn’t supposed to take ill every few days and ultimately be wheeled into a room for open heart surgery. it was likely a very harrowing experience, and those first few months of her life were understandably marred - but if there had ever been any doubts before, it became clearer than day when she came out of surgery that the youngest jones was a FIGHTER, through and through. they’d been prepared for a month long wait to bring her home again - it ended up being a fortnight. she didn’t cry, after. she didn’t FUSS. it was as if she had known that the first little while had been tough, and was trying her hardest to make all of their lives that little bit easier. lord knew that the jones’ needed it, especially when the stress of all that was going on with her had combined with their bills.

now affectionately named jellybean for the defect she had survived, she grew into a remarkably NORMAL child. there were differences, of course, between her and the kids that she grew up surrounded by - she required regular checkups, she needed to dress extra warmly in winter, and she always got that little bit more wiped out than everybody else - but anyone told the story behind the scar in the middle of her chest gaped in shock. the girl who swung from the lower boughs of the trees at the edge of sunnyside trailer park and sprinted after her friends at full speed had once had a hole in her heart? impossible. that sort of health issue was reserved for those with a lot less life in them than the high spirited girl that jellybean became known as being, and never once did she allow it to define her. she was a SPITFIRE, pure and simple, and she’s proud to say that never once did she let herself sit out of an experience just because she was worried about what would happen if she partook.

life was not all sunshine and adventure, though. not every child notices the cracks in their home life appearing. jellybean didn’t. not until the rug was pulled right from under her feet. to her wide eyed and rose colored self, everything seemed to happen overnight. one day, they were happy. the next, her dad was an alcoholic and she and her mum were in transit to toledo, where they would move in with stony faced grandparents who treated her with corporate coldness. she didn’t understand the why of it all - couldn’t have even hoped to, when she was still so young. the reality of her father losing his job and their lives going to shit thanks to it didn’t sink in. all she knew was that she had lost the father she idealized and the big brother that she had always wanted to BE.

she spoke to them both on the phone, of course. she was even lucky to see jughead a couple times, though their grandparents never wanted to hear about it afterwards, no matter how excited she was. it must have been jarring for him the first time he turned up to find that the pigtailed little girl who loved kids pop that he remembered had sheared her hair and was now listening strictly to pink floyd and other classics. but none of it was the same. not really. it wasn’t having her family together. to say that her drastic transformation might have stemmed from a place of resentment towards whatever forces were at play in ruining her family - that starting to go by JB, so similar to the FP that her nana and granddad refused to allow be mentioned around them might’ve been an act of defiance - wouldn’t have been incorrect. she wanted things to go back to normal. the fact that they didn’t killed her.

and they never really did. she and her mom returned to riverdale, a new opportunity spotted, but things never went back to how they had been before. she learned not to talk about it, though - and now she’s older, wiser, and she knows how to hide her feelings behind an easy bluff. there’s nothing to do but make the most of what she does have, right? a new brother. a new life. a new self. she has to stop dwelling on what she used to have, she supposes ; though sometimes, it hurts to think about what she’s lost.

part two of three : headcanons.

jellybean is gonna be a lawyer someday, but she NEVER really wanted to be one. her dream from ages 3 to 11, she wanted to be a princess. she overheard some of the older serpents sarcastically referring to the jones family as royalty, and she really chose to run with it - refusing to take off a makeshift crown for the first month and getting called princess jellybean by her father for the next few years. after that phase had passed, though, she found her real passion - and for most of living memory, she’s wanted to own a record store. nothing too extravagant, really, just a first floor, one room sorta deal - she’d plaster the walls with posters of the greats and keep the merchandise in crates resting on rickety tables, and every friday night she’d hold a jams night where people could come and lounge around the floor on beanie bags, listening to some of their favorites. she had it all planned, and it’s still something of a dream - but if there’s one thing that jones’ family knows how to do, it’s sacrifice their dreams for harsh reality. with penny peabody DISGRACED, the serpents and southsiders in general need someone who knows them to represent them, when things go to trial, and feeling a sense of duty to the people she was raised around, jb bit the bullet and stepped up. she’s got a love for arguing and a knack for winning, so much so that god HELP whoever goes against her in a courtroom, someday.

she has yet to officially join the serpents ( her parents wouldn’t approve of it, for one, not now, and there’s a whole host of OTHER reasons ) - but jb went right ahead and got a tattoo on her right hand anyway, cause as a jones, she’s still serpent adjacent. the only difference between the picture linked and the one she has is that hers is done in white ink - her way of keeping things lowkey while still honoring her heritage.

miss her with a motorbike. they’re COOL and all, but jb values her life a little bit too much to trust a two wheeled death trip waiting to happen. she’s more into classic cars, anyway, and has pretty recently invested in the frame of a 1979 pontiac gto from the scrapyard that she plans on fixing up to perfection.

her style is southside meets cute. of course she loves her leather and fishnet combos - but jb is ALSO a huge fan of dungarees and sloganed t-shirts in a whole assortment of colors. anything ‘edgy’ she wears ( big boots, mesh tops, the list .. could go on ) gets coupled with something a little less so ( pink scrunchies, colorful makeup, a disney bag … again, the list could go on ), and that makes her her.

and finally, for now, cause i’m not sure i’ve done a good job of conveying it - jellybean is a good kid. she REALLY, truly is. she’s got some bite to her ( enough of a short fuse that it’s advisable not to test her limit ) & wouldn’t be her fathers daughter if she DIDN’T, but she’s also genuinely sweet. being a serpent doesn’t equal being a bitch, and so long as people out there treat her with respect, she’ll do the SAME. jb doesn’t turn unless she’s given reason to … and if they do, she won’t hold back.

part three of three : wanted connections.

fp & gladys jones !

kids from the south ( or north ) side that are in or around the same age, who jellybean would have grown up with / went to school with !! they might have reconnected after she returned to riverdale and now know her as who she’s become, but they also might be people who she lost contact with for a LONG TIME and who never got to see her post transformation - any and all variance on this wc would be fun!

anyone attending carson college who she might, maybe, rub shoulders with !! i’d love the most mundane of connections - maybe they sit with each other during lunch, or they help each other study, or one time, jb dropped a book on their head in the library and they’ve been friends / enemies since! gimme anything !

regulars at pops / the speakeasy.

so .. she’s pretty self sufficient, and she’s paying her way in terms of college by working shifts at pops and picking up extras in the speakeasy. she’d know a lot of people from that, i’d wager, and i’m sure she has her favorites!

more people southside serpent adjacent who she can play off of !! one of jb’s goals in life is to become an OFFICIAL member of the gang, which she hasn’t yet - but she is something of a southside princess, and that means she’d know most of them in some way!

p much anything else !

#pep.intro #「･ﾟ ♕ . ･ * she was not a woman born easy to swallow ― forsythia parthenia jones. 」#i m so grateful to god n myself one yr ago for having a whole ass bio already wrote .... blows kiss to the stars

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hvndcvffed · 5 years

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“ let me just –– can you –– uh. ” grizz clears his throat and raises a finger. because this? oh, boy. stomaching this shit without laughing mandates a breather. “ hold that thought for a moment while i collect myself. s’been quite the day and i want to give you my undivided attention. ”

or, alternatively : yo yo yo, party people ! guess who finally made it ? i’m lev / linc ( she/her/hers ) , comin’ atchu from the ever so lovely est timezone with ya boy, the tru ledge, grizz visser! click on that read more to read some headcanons i’ve got goin’ for west ham’s resident handcuff-owning, intellectual beb !

[ g r i z z v i s s e r –– B O Y O N F I R E .

✔ ┊❝ ( nick robinson. 18. he/him &. cismale ) rumor around town is that gareth “grizz” visser was on one of the buses that left for the field trip. they’re the eighteen year old that resides in new ham. over the summer news spread that he purposely botched his chances to win a football scholarship to a local uni because he applied to several ivies behind his parents’ backs, but who knows if that’s true or not? what we do know is that their friends describe them as well-read & piquant, but who knows when they’re known to be elusive & misanthropé from time to time.

( &&. general information )

full name: gareth visser

nickname(s) or alias: grizz

preferred name: grizz –– call him gareth and he will... not be happy.

current age: eighteen

astrological sign: leo

gender: cismale

preferred pronouns: he/him

sexual preference: homosexual ( but closeted )

romantic preference: demiromantic

home environment: a quaint three-bed / two-bath house with his parents. a positive, almost sickeningly sweet home: family portraits all over the place, cheesy “ home is where the heart is ” décor all around from his mother’s many trips to pier 1 imports.

current occupation: student, student athlete.

language(s) spoken: english, french, a tad of latin. wants to learn more hebrew, but that shit is complicated as heck.

native language: english.

current relationship status: single.

( &&. background )

reason behind name: y’know, he’s asked his parents this countless times. why gareth? why. gareth. and each time he’s just gotten the same vague response: they liked it. it sounded respectable. ack.

birth order: only child.

ethnicity: american. west ham born & raised, baby!

nationality: american.

religion: agnostic. goes to church with his mother as a way to keep the peace, but... the idea of a god out there saying homosexuality’s a sin gives him a bad taste in his mouth. he’d rather discount his whole existence and uphold morality than accept that there’s a bigoted big guy in the sky. sees the bible more as a literary exercise to instill human value. did jesus really walk on water? heck no. but it makes a good fable.

political views: very, very liberal. doesn’t subscribe to labels, but as close to democratic socialist as you can get in this country without causing riots. anti-brexit. anti-trump. anti-bullshit, basically. maybe socialism or communism done right wouldn’t be a terrible idea.

financial status: very, very comfortable. his parents earn well and know how to save / spend frugally. the vissers are modest in living so they can pour more into experience. for grizz’s twelfth birthday, his parents took him hiking through the adirondacks. they’ve gone on some awesome trips together, and most of their vacations include some aspect of super cool nature. unbeknownst to grizz, his parents’ planned grad gift for him was a month-long backpacking tour through new zealand.

hometown: west ham, connecticut. cool beans.

level of education: high school senior. but he’s one of the learned folk: ap literature on lock. he took some college courses at the local community college last summer, because his job as a summer camp counselor wasn’t exactly intellectually stimulating. leading kids on hikes is fun ‘n all, but... not as engaging as college-level philosophy.

( &&. physical appearance )

looks like (or face claim, if applicable): nick robinson. with longer hair. reference [ here ] .

height: 6′0 ( jack’s shorter, but nick’s my main fc i’m workin’ with so i decide to bump it up. plus, height? football? makes sense. )

weight: 158 lbs

shoe size: 10.5

figure/build: athletic build. muscular. broad shoulders, lean waist.

hair colour: deep, deep brown. almost black. natural.

hair length: about jaw-length. curly. ( REFERENCE. )

eye colour: brown with an overlay of hazel-y jade-green. his campers over the summer compared his eyes to moss a lot. it kinda felt badass. “moss boss” had a ring to it.

glasses?: nope. 20/20 vision. but he’s been known to steal friends’ glasses sometimes, just for funsies.

skin tone: light, but not necessarily pale – spends a lot of time outdoors. no freckles.

tattoos: none, yet. would love to get a quote from walden. or a pine tree, if it wasn’t so cliche.

piercings: none. but getting an ear pierced has always intrigued him.

birthmarks/scars/distinguishing marks: some miscellaneous scars on his hands from whittling incidents growing up. a faint line across his arm from stitches, when he broke it in the peewee football league in fifth grade.

dominant hand: left-handed, but very recently learned he’s marginally ambidextrous for important tasks.

if painted, what color are their nails?: never painted. he keeps them short.

usual style of clothing: letterman jacket. jeans. tall socks, boots. pants tucked into socks, because why the hell not? flannels, hoodies, utility jackets layered over plain white tees. pendant necklaces, leather bracelets. occasionally he’ll wear a statement button-downs that looks like your grandmother’s upholstery, but somehow it’ll work really well. varsity t-shirts. hats of all varieties. if he could, he’d showcase some edgier styles. but he’s paranoid. he’s got a stanford hoodie buried in his closet. and a yale one, too.

frequently worn jewelry: leather bracelets. a silver ring strung on a chain, engraved with “ for sylvie, with love ”. he found it on a hike, and... figured he’d be sylvie for a day, or something.

describe their voice, what accent?: he has a light, gentle voice. a soft autumn breeze. laced with some gravel. strong, resolute. kind.

what is their speaking style (fast, monotone, loquacious)?: often speaks slowly, surely. not always keen to fill silences. but words are some of his favorite devices of deflection. if he’s unsure, he’ll cut himself off, leading to some choppy and hard to follow sentences. he very rarely mumbles. not afraid to speak eloquently, but will certainly match his speaking style to those he’s around, to an extent. rarely seems bothered. he masks it well.

describe their scent: amber, sandalwood, musk. vague hints of cinnamon.

describe their posture: grizz holds himself proudly. shoulders broad, chin up, chest open. it makes his vulnerable moments very easy to spot.

( &&. legal information )

any speeding tickets?: nope. this kid drives by the book. probably because he very much prefers to walk or bike around town, when he can help it.

have they ever been arrested?: never. he’s only been to the police station once, to drop off some promotional donuts for the homecoming football game.

do they have a criminal record?: nah.

have they committed any violent crimes?: no sir.

property crimes?: no.

traffic crimes?: nope! unless you count accidentally cutting cars off with his bike, because that’s happened a handful of times, when he’s been deep in thought.

other crimes?: just breaking hearts.

( &&. medical information )

blood type: o negative.

date/time of birth: july 26, 1997. 3:23am. during a rainstorm.

place of birth: west ham hospital.

vaginal birth or cesauren section?: vaginal birth.

sex: male

smoker? / drinker? / drug user?: no / yes / marijuana.

addictions: does good lit count?

allergies: sulfur-based antibiotics. bullshit.

ever broken a bone?: his left arm in fifth grade. right foot at the seventh grade dance –– the girl he asked to slow dance tripped and grizz, wanting to show off his cool socks, wound up with a stiletto heel to the talus. ouch. collar bone, freshman year of high school: he climbed a tree to save his neighbor’s cat and slipped.

any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities: nope.

any medication regularly taken: allergy meds. sometimes he gets the sniffles.

( &&. personality )

direct quote from them: UNO. DOS. TRES. QUATRO.

positive traits: charismatic, cunning, introspective, virtuosic.

negative traits: cataclysmic, self-destructive, reckless, careless.

likes: classic literature, trail mix, synth vibes, 60s/70s/80s rock, the beatles, radiohead, faith by george michael. old vinyls. bob ross. vanilla-cinnamon candles and jasmine tea. wind-rustled leaves. fresh fallen rain.

dislikes: bitter coffee. the disappointment just after sunrise. katy perry. cleaning, laundry. the warmer side of the pillow. waking up without a hand to hold. gareth. secrets, but he harbors a few big ones. pretending. hiding. transitively, himself.

strengths: can be quite resolute but sometimes about the wrong things. his ability to analyze and respond to complex literature is… uncanny. intelligence. deduction. survival facts. he’s a postmodern bear grylls trapped in suburbia.

weaknesses: impatience. do-it-yourself attitude. fear of rejection. fear of acceptance. fear of others. fear of himself.

insecurities: what if people in west ham discover who he really is? how’s he supposed to postpone that?

fears/phobias: irrelevancy. book-burning. ignorance. time.

habits: playing with his fingers. biting his bottom lip and twisting it between his teeth. humming when he thinks no one is listening. going for late-night walks through the emptiest parts of town. staying up ‘til 4am to read and re-read and read again.

quirks: rarely settles his gaze on anything for more than a few seconds, except for other peoples’ eyes. eye contact is probably one of grizz’s biggest conversational strengths. probably why he makes such a good liar, when he needs to. he’ll finish a pint of ice cream and just sit there for over an hour sucking on the spoon, lost in thought. licks his lips when he’s nervous. plays with his hair a lot. you know he’s nervous when he keeps tucking his hair behind his right ear. chuckles to himself, even when things are the pure opposite of funny.

hobbies: jotting notes in book margins. he dabbles in poetry but feels like his shit is too beat-generation to be that cool. wandering through the woods and attempting to generate his own maps, then checking them for accuracy. lighting matches in the cold, mid-evening air just to watch them burn.

guilty pleasure: peanut m&ms. twizzlers. burned marshmallows. apartment tour videos on youtube.

desires: to prove he’s… sometime more than this. something more than a footballer destined to pretend.

wishes: he could come clean about college. wishes he could come clean about himself. wishes he could work up the courage to ask a guy to prom.

secrets: he purposefully botched an interview he had with central connecticut state university’s football recruiter because he doesn’t want to play in college. he wants to go to yale, or stanford, or brown. to study literature. classics. philosophy. his sexuality. but it’s getting harder and harder to keep that locked down.

turn ons: intelligence. genuine, pure intelligence. sharp-witted humor. dimples. dorky laughs. gentle touch. someone who doesn’t bother with worries ‘bout tomorrow.

turn offs: idiocy. khakis. people with too much pride. line cutters. naggers. people who don’t think the proper way to eat bugles is by fashioning crisp-claws first and pretending to be edward scissorhands. people who overlook adrienne rich’s poetry, or claim dante shouldn’t be taught in school.

lucky number: 0.

pet peeves: hearing people scratch their scalps. sniffly public transit users. people who don’t use earbuds. cold fries. nail-clickers. knuckle-crackers. people who slurp from straws like they’ve never had a drink before in their lives.

their motto: “ i’m surrounded by idiots. ”

( &&. favourites )

food: curly fries with cajun seasoning.

drink: half-oreo half-chocolate milkshake. extra whipped cream. two cherries. please.

fast food restaurant: he’s not huge on fast food, but he can fuck with five guys.

flavour: anything chocolate and peanut.

word: fuck !!! or zephyr: a soft, gentle breeze.

colour: a nice, deep forest green.

clothing: his letterman jacket. his deep green flannel’s a close second.

accessory: “ for sylvie, with love” . silver ring. he likes pretending he’s sylvie and that someone cared enough to get his name etched into a precious metal forever.

candle scent: the connecticut homesick candle. it smells like cinnamon and nutmeg and vanilla and fireside bliss. and pine trees. yum.

game: monopoly. but only if he wins.

animal: fish. they’re so graceful.

holiday: halloween. boo.

weather: sunset, just after rain. golden rays peering through deep gray clouds. it makes the greens of trees practically scream against the sky. it’s glorious. it’s heartbreaking. grizz loves it.

season: late fall.

book: le petit prince by antoine de saint-exupéry. it was the last book his grandmother ever read to him, on his fifth christmas eve.

artist: edvard munch. or van gogh, simply because he chopped his ear off and mailed it to his lover. now that’s modern romance.

band/group: the divine comedy, radiohead, pink floyd, the beatles, the rolling stones, the kooks. the avett brothers. belle & sebastian.

song: high and dry, radiohead. elephant, tame impala. anything by the beatles.

movie/film: mr. nobody. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. the first time little grizz saw alice in wonderland, he wouldn’t shut up about it for two weeks.

tv show: he grew up watching wallace and gromit. he’s still got a soft spot for it.

sport: football.

possession: his dad’s collection of beatles original release vinyls.

number: 0.

person: henry david thoreau.

( &&. skills )

talents: writing, but he won’t admit it. football. wood-whittling. gardening. navigation.

ability to drive a car?: yes.

can they ride a bike?: yes, and will frequently do so with no hands.

do they play any sports?: football.

anything they’re bad at?: juggling. sleeping. pretending to like gross food.

do they have any combat training? why?: grizz once yahoo answered how to punch somebody to the moon, after one of his best friends got made fun of in grade school for accidentally wearing a costume the day before halloween. he’s still waiting for an answer to that post.

( &&. firsts )

childhood memory: waging what was left of his fruit gummies during a game of fireside poker on the first visser camping trip.

crush: matty kerrington, pre-k. his hair smelled like strawberries and his smile reminded grizz of the hot honey that clung to his mum’s spoon after stirring tea. but to this day, he’ll say his first crush was amanda vander-voss, because her hair was pretty in braids and she reminded him of the pretty deer from bambi.

email address: [email protected]

job: camp counselor at a hiking / adventure camp based in west ham.

phone: a nifty samsung with a slide-out keyboard. made him feel like a god.

kiss: jessica winthrop, in a game of third grade truth or dare.

love: tess de luca ( @tessdl )

sexual experience: with jessica winthrop in the woods behind the middle school, three years later. jess got poison ivy in all the wrong places. grizz thought it was hysterical.

( &&. childhood )

best childhood memory?: honestly? wearing that boa in dance class. his mom was quick to stop that.

worst childhood memory?: nearly breaking his nose on the neighbor’s front porch, while attempting to ding-dong ditch with his friends. he’s not sure what gave them away more –– his blood staining their pavement, or the fact that he blubbered the whole run home.

what were they like as a child?: grizz tended to poke his nose into all the wrong matters, landing him in oodles of trouble. he’d steal from the snack cabinet, sketch constellations across the walls… even stole his dad’s old walkman so he could listen to music under his covers past his bedtime. tried to sneak into the library after hours to get his hands on another thoreau novel. but it was all harmless. the vissers weren’t very firm disciplinarians: they just loved that their son was engaged and passionate about knowledge.

any crushes growing up?: oh, loads. more than he’d like to admit.

( &&. this or that )

expensive or inexpensive tastes?: inexpensive, but lasting.

hygienic or unhygienic?: hygenic.

open-minded or close-minded?: open.

introvert or extrovert?: ambivert. thrives in social settings but the mood has to be right.

optimistic or pessimistic?: pessimistic with a weak optimistic veil. pragmatism, is how he’d put it.

daredevil or cautious?: cautious daredevil.

logical or emotional?: a blend of both, but emotions often influence his actions more than he’d like to say.

generous or stingy?: generous.

polite or rude?: polite when it’s socially mandated. but if there’s no threat of repercussions? a bit rude, if he has to be.

book smart or street smart?: both.

popular or loner?: popular, by proxy. but grizz vibes with some solid solitude, especially to recharge.

leader or follower?: leader. follower, though, in the high school structure of things. it’s a way to ensure his place and avoid potential fallout. he’ll call his friends out if they’re up to no good, though.

day or night person?: night. definitely night.

cat or dog person?: both! prefers cats just a smidge more.

closet door open or closed while sleeping?: open. maybe his demons wanna cuddle or some shit.

( &&. social media )

do they have a facebook? twitter? instagram? vine? snapchat? tinder/grindr? tumblr? youtube? yes to instagram and (begrudgingly) snapchat.

if so; name on facebook: none.

instagram user: grizzvisser

snapchat user: grizzybear

( &&. musical tastes )

theme song: kimochi warui ( when? when? when? ), car seat headrest. god... get him OUT of this town.

makes them sad: blackbird, the beatles. his grandparents used to sing this when he’d sleep over/ they’d be in the kitchen early in the morning trying to convince him to eat his cereal. they’d change the lyrics and snap slightly off-tempo, all smiles and coaxing gestures. ave maria. he’s not sure why. it inspires melancholia.

makes them dance: hazy miss daisy, kid bloom. anything with a sick beat and erratic synth. take on me, a-ha. good times bad times, led zeppelin.

loves the most: fool of myself, the band camino. it’s a song he can throw his head back to, close his eyes, and sway in the breeze.

( &&. miscellaneous )

do they have a fake i.d.?: yep, used to, but now that’s not necessary!

are they a virgin?: nope siree!

describe their signature: it’s unapologetic on the page. takes up more room than it should with lateral squiggles and grandiose swirls. G and V are decipherable, but everything else is convoluted by its own physics. a muddled mess. beautiful in its self-collapsing structure.

how long would they survive in a zombie apocalypse?: he’d outlive everyone. survivalist visser, right here.

do they travel?: yes, but he wants to do more, see more. the grand canyon would be cool. or maybe the alps. he’s always had a dream of hiking yosemite.

one place they would like to live: anywhere but here.

one place they would like to visit: new zealand. australia. hawaii.

celebrity crush: young johnny depp. emma watson.

what can you find in their pockets/wallet/purse: tic tacs, but never the mint ones. only the odd flavors.

place(s) your character can always be found: anywhere with trees. rooftops. alleyways. the football field. coffee shops. the local diner. roadside sunflower fields. his parents’ garden.

when does your character like to wake up?: with the sun.

what’s your character’s morning routine?: blink at the ceiling for about 20 minutes. wash his face, brush his teeth. annotate a few lines of whatever book he’s reading. push-ups, pull-ups, crunches. run a mile or two. rush into the shower. grab his lunch from the fridge and bike to school (and barely make it).

what does your character eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner?: grizz’s mom loves to cook, so they’re always trying some new paleo trend. some of it’s awful. but he’ll try to eat it and if he can’t, he’ll sneak a granola bar later. if the school’s serving smiley face fries, he’ll have those. he really likes green apples and those little clementines.

how does your character spend their free days?: hiking. reading. writing. lying in the sun and just... thinking. lately, he’s been daydreaming a lot about an ivy league education. something more engaging than west ham’s high school snoozefest.

what’s your character’s bedtime routine?: some kind of pre-bed stretching routine. wash his face, brush his teeth, curl up in bed with a book. fall asleep with it still open on his chest.

what does your character wear to bed?: boxers and a t-shirt.

if your character can’t fall asleep, what are they thinking about?: the past. mistakes. time ticking away.

what is their idea of perfect happiness?: he’s still workin’ on that bit.

on what occasions do they lie?: very rarely, if he can help it.

most marked characteristic: his hair. it’s all russet waves. untamed. some days, his hair truly has a mind of its own. it screams free spirit. it doesn’t let on that, inside, his soul is burning.

what is one thing they’d most like to change about themselves?: honestly? it’s not so much what he’d want to change about himself as it is about this town.

how would they like to die?: well-read.

do they snore? not unless he’s got a head cold. then there may be a few soft snores here and there.

can they curl their tongue?: yes!

can they whistle?: yes indeed!

do they believe in the supernatural?: not really. but it’s fun to indulge on halloween. did he move your cup, or did the ghouls?! s p o o k y .

has anyone ever broken their heart?: no. haven’t had the opportunity to.

have they ever broken anyone’s heart?: yes. little marsha lapone’s, at summer camp. she was 8, he’s 18. he told her there was no chance, and she cried into her pb&j. tough.

are they squeamish?: no.

have they ever seen anyone die? what happened?: just in films.

are they a lightweight?: heck no.

that was a very lengthy thing but... yeah! hit me up for plots! i’m gonna get to crafting and replying to starters v shortly!

#newhamhq:intro #ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴄᴄᴇᴘᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɴ ɪ ᴀᴍ ! ɪꜱᴍꜱ.

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amostexcellentblog · 6 years

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IYO, which Golden Age stars had the most interesting "will make degrading cameo for food" phases?

Sorry this is so late, but whoa boy that’s a loaded question. Honestly, a lot of silent and classic Hollywood stars had money troubles in their later years because residuals weren’t really a thing until the 50s. Before the television market nobody thought there was a way to consistently make money on old movies so everyone was content to be paid upfront. Then add on a lot of stars grew accustomed to lavish lifestyles and never learned responsible spending and most of them had some degree of financial difficulties after their careers declined. Some of them had a sense of humor about it, for others it was humiliating and there can be a vague sense of exploitation about the whole thing that makes some fans reluctant to talk about these periods.

We should probably begin with Orson Welles, who made what was/is considered the greatest movie of all time, and yet had to take some pretty demeaning work to pay the bills. Like, he really did do a frozen peas commercial. That’s not something the writers of The Critic made up. It exists, it’s on youtube!

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Bette Davis famously placed an ad in Variety asking for work when parts dried up. She spent most of the 60s starring in horror movies of declining quality, primarily because she needed money to support he family, but also because she was desperate to work. By the 70s though the Hag Horror fad had passed and she became even more desperate. A 1971 film Bunny O'Hare had her playing an elderly woman who dresses up as a hippie to rob banks on a motorcyle, it was so bad she sued the studio claiming it had damaged her future employment prospects. During this time she also filmed 4 sitcom pilots, and not good ones either. they were for Aaron Spelling, the man behind “Jiggle-TV” (although Davis herself did not jiggle, she still had some pride). The tv show Feud treated this as a sort of tragic time where the woman who once sued Jack Warner for better scripts was so desperate for work she stopped caring about quality. I look at it more as Davis realized that no matter how much dreck she did the public would always consider her a Hollywood Legend, so she was free to stop worrying about her image and just take whatever paid work she could get while playing the movie queen in interviews.

Another low point was the Disney-sequel Return From Witch Mountain in 1978 where she and Christopher Lee (who took the part just to work with her) played the villains intent on using mind control devices on two super-powered alien kids. To say Davis’s character was as flat as cardboard is an insult to cardboard. She finally got a decent script in the 1980s with The Whales of August opposite Lillian Gish, so she was able to remind everyone how good she could be a few years before her death. Not every star would be so lucky.

Joan Crawford, who must be discussed alongside Davis by Hollywood law, has become, along with Welles, the poster-child for late career humiliation. Like Davis, Crawford spent the 60s doing low budget horror shlock, but somehow her movies always seemed shlockier. She teamed up with William Castle twice, for his Strait-Jacket he let her act like the movie queen she’d once been and she took full advantage. She demanded a limo to drive her to set each day, a role be given to a vice-president of Pepsi (she was on the board) and refused to let him be fired even when it became obvious he couldn’t remember his lines. She insisted on portraying her character as in her 40s despite turning 60 the year it came out, and also played the character as a 20-something in flashbacks. The air conditioning on set was cranked obscenely high because she believed cold air kept her skin from wrinkling.

In 1968 Crawford guest starred on The Lucy Show as a version of herself who liked being out of the public eye (Ha!). Lucille Ball by this point was a terror to work with and she bullied Crawford relentlessly over everything from her dancing to her drinking (which of course just made Crawford drink more). Later that year her daughter Christina was hospitalized, meaning she wouldn’t be able to film her scenes for the daytime soap opera she was in. Crawford, 64 years old, convinced the producers to let her fill in. And they said yes, so for four whole episodes Crawford appeared as a 24 year old girl. And on top of that, she was so drunk she could barely remember her lines. A year later Crawford had what I think is her most interesting TV role. For Rod Serling’s Night Gallery she played a ruthless, blind heiress who will stop at nothing to be able to see. It’s a standard Serling morality play right down to the ironic twist. What so fascinates me is that it marked the professional debut of one Steven Spielberg, although by his own admission he shot the thing like a European art film and had it taken away in editing so it could be re-worked into something presentable on network TV. So you have Crawford, who started her career in the silent era, came to embody the studio system, and remained a movie star into the 1960s, being directed by Spielberg, one of the key directors of the New Hollywood era who went on to create the era of the blockbuster tentpole we live in today. It’s such a fascinating meeting in the middle moment of the woman who ebodied the first half of Hollywood’s history, and the man who embodied its second half.

From there she went on to her final film, 1970′s Trog. She played a scientist investigating a ape-cave man hybrid believed to be the missing link. She was so drunk she had to use cue-cards to read her lines. The movie was so low-budget she had to wear her own clothes and change in an old van. Roger Ebert once said that the difference between Crawford and Davis was that Crawford would agree to make Trog. He wasn’t wrong. She made a handful of TV appearances after that, but then the tabloids published some unflattering pap photos. In the 1930s when she’d been the most beautiful woman in Hollywood she famously told an interviewer “I never go out of my house unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star, if people want the girl next door they can go next door.” Decades later she lived up to her words, convinced she could no longer look like the glamorous movie queen she cancelled her public appearances and spent the last years of her life in Norma Desmond-like isolation. She died in her New York apartment in 1977 with only her maid and a loyal fan by her side.

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This is getting long, but I have to mention Aldo Ray, a big macho man action hero of the 1950s who made a porno in 1979 and spent the 1980s working mostly with cult exploitation filmmaker Fred Olen Ray (no relation). Ray Milland was a hunky leading man in the 40s, spent the 1970s alternating between genuine A-list hits like Love Story and shlock like Frogs and The Thing With Two Heads where he played a racist whose head is grafted onto a black man. Yeah:

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Bela Lugosi’s fall from grace has been much covered. He had a huge hit with Dracula but feuded with the studio and soon found himself confined to B-level shlock, eventually finding himself a member of Ed Wood’s stock company. Fan still debate if Wood was exploiting him or helping him. Boris Karloff fared better. He made plenty of low budget dreck for Roger Corman, but he also endeared himself to younger audiences, most notably in How the Grinch Stole Christmas and went out on a high note with Peter Bogdanovich’s directorial debut Targets.

Lastly, we must speak of Veronica Lake. She was a glamour queen of the 40s, famous for her hair style where her long blonde locks were styled to cover one eye, studio publicists dubber her “The Peek-a-Boo Girl.” She made one genuine 4-star must-see classic, Preston Sturges’s Sullivan’s Travels, and some well regarded noirs and comedies, but she was washed up by the 1950s. She was discovered working a a waitress in the 1960s and subsequently told her story on the talk show circuit and later in an autobiography. She decided to use the money she’d earned from various public appearances to produce a comeback vehicle. For some reason, perhaps known only to her, she decided the best movie to relaunch her career was Flesh Feast. A no budget Grade-Z catastrophe where she played a mad scientist developing a breed of flesh eating maggots while moonlighting for an underground organization of escaped Nazis in possession of Hitler’s body. She is charged with reanimating their Führer so they can take over the world. Turns out though, Lake is only doing this to avenge her mother who was subjected to Nazi experiments in the concentration camps. Once old Adolf is alive and kicking again, she throws her flesh eating maggots in his face and laughs maniacally as he dies a second, painful death. Honestly, Lakes delivery of the line “Don’t you like my little maggots?” deserves to go down as one of the all-time camptastic line readings in the history of cinema. But seriously, this movie raises so many questions I can’t even start. Like, if she just agreed to star I could understand, but she was a producer on this, she went all-in on this project, why? Why this of all things?

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#Joan Crawford #bette davis #Veronica Lake #Orson Welles #ray milland #boris karloff #bela lugosi

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papermoonloveslucy · 3 years

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MY FAVORITE HUSBAND ~ Season 2

July 2, 1949 - June 25, 1950

“My Favorite Husband” ~ Season two aired on CBS Radio from September 2, 1949 to June 25, 1950. There were 40 half hour episodes sponsored by Jell-O. Episodes were also aired on Armed Forces Radio & Television Service (AFTRS) without advertising.

Regular Cast: Lucille Ball as Elizabeth ‘Liz’ Cooper, Richard Denning as George Cooper, Gale Gordon as Rudolph Atterbury, Bea Benadaret as Iris Atterbury (and others), Ruth Perrott as Katie the Maid, and Bob LeMond, Announcer.

Season 2 Guest Cast:

Hans Conried (17 episodes), Frank Nelson (11 episodes), Hal March (8 episodes), Jay Novello (5 episodes), Eleanor Audley (5 episodes), Peter Leeds (4 episodes), Elvia Allman (3 episodes), Richard Crenna (3 episode), Herb Vigran (2 episodes), Jerry Hausner (2 episodes), Anne Whitfield (2 episodes), Doris Singleton, Jack Kruschen, Rolfe Sedan, Joe Kearns, Wally Maher, Johnny McGovern, Sam Hearn, Norma Zimmer, Sam Edwards, Jim Backus, Gege Pearson, Joe Forte, Mary Jane Croft, Harry Bartell, and Veola Vonn (1 episode).

To Experience the Full Episode Blogs - for both “My Favorite Husband” and “I Love Lucy” - simply click on the hyperlinked (underlined) text.

“The Elves” ~ September 2, 1949

Synopsis ~ Liz and George arrive home from summer vacation to find that someone has been ordering strawberry ice cream from the milkman every day, and the pink trail leads to the doorstep of their new neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Wood, and their ten children.

“The Auction”* ~ September 9, 1949

“The Bank Outing Baseball Game” ~ September 16, 1949

Synopsis ~ Liz is determined not to be left out of the baseball game at the Annual Bank Outing, so she persuades her neighbor Mr. Wood to teach her how to play the game.

“The Attic” ~ September 23, 1949

Synopsis ~ One of George’s old Glee Club friends is in town and George wants to find his old ukulele, so he and Liz search for it in the attic but get locked in.

“Women’s Club Election” ~ September 30, 1949

Synopsis ~ George has cause for alarm when Liz is elected treasurer of the local women’s club because he knows how much trouble she has with figures but Liz has a surprise for him.

Basis for the “I Love Lucy” episode “The Club Election” (ILL S2;E19)

“George Needs a Raise”~ October 7, 1949

Synopsis ~ Liz tries every trick in the book to convince Mr. Atterbury to give George a raise. To get results she even resorts to selling apples in front of the bank where he is employed.

Basis for “Ricky Asks for a Raise” (ILL S1;E35)

“Too Many Television Sets�� ~ October 14, 1949

Synopsis ~ Liz can’t get George interested in buying a television set, until they spend an evening at the Atterburys, who have one. With his interest piqued, George arranges one be sent over on trial. Little does he know Liz has done the same thing - as have the Atterbury’s!

“Liz’s Superstitions” ~ October 21, 1949

Synopsis ~ A chirping cricket in the Cooper’s hearth is driving George crazy, but Liz is convinced it means good luck. When Liz insists that it isn’t lucky to banish a cricket, George gets upset with her superstitions.

“Halloween Surprise Party” ~ October 28, 1949

Synopsis ~ The Atterburys decide to throw a Halloween surprise party for Liz and George, but when Liz hears about their party at the beauty salon, she thinks that she and George just weren’t invited.

“Mother-in-Law” ~ November 4, 1949

Synopsis ~ George gets a letter from his mother that she’s moving to Sheridan Falls. Liz has no doubt that means staying with them! But when will she ever leave?

Although similarly titled, this radio episode is not the basis for the “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy’s Mother-in-Law” (ILL S4;E8) in 1954.

“BABY SITTING” ~ November 11, 1949

Synopsis ~ Liz takes up baby sitting to balance her financial books and earn money for George’s Christmas present.

Shares plot elements with the “I Love Lucy” episode “The Amateur Hour” (ILL S1;E14)

“Liz The Matchmaker” ~ November 18, 1949

Synopsis ~ After dating Mr. Negley the postman for three years, Katie feels that their relationship is not going anywhere, so she enlists Liz’s help!

Although similarly titled and themed, this radio episode is not the basis for the “I Love Lucy” episodes “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15), “Lucy is a Matchmaker” (ILL S2;E27), “The Matchmaker” (ILL S4;E4), or “Lucy, the Matchmaker” (HL S1;E12).

“College Homecoming”* ~ December 2, 1949

“The French Lessons” ~ December 9, 1949

Synopsis ~ Liz and Iris are humiliated when they can’t read the menu at a French restaurant, so they decide to take French lessons. The lessons lead to the prospect of a duel between her favorite husband George and her amorous French teacher.

Basis for the “I Love Lucy” episodes “The Adagio” (ILL S1;E12) and “The French Revue” (ILL S3;E7)

“George’s Christmas Present” ~ December 16, 1949

Synopsis ~ Liz vows to finish knitting George a sweater by Christmas. She finds George’s Christmas presents for her and exchanges it too early.

“The Sleigh Ride” ~ December 23, 1949

Synopsis ~ Liz is taken for a sleigh ride (figuratively and literally) when she and her neighbors borrow a milkman’s horse and make a jingle bell trip to the countryside for a yule log. The party turns sour down when the horse insists upon making all the stops on his milk route.

“Liz & George Are Handcuffed” ~ December 30, 1949

Synopsis ~ Liz is playing ‘cops and robbers’ with little Tommy Wood from next door, and lets him handcuff her and George with what turn out to be real handcuffs! During the time the Coopers are linked George finds himself under the hair dryer and Liz later has to stand by at the barber’s while her husband gets a shave.

Basis for the “I Love Lucy” episode “The Handcuffs” (ILL S2;E4)

“Is There Another Woman?” ~ January 6, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz buys a book that lists the danger signs to look out for to tell if your husband is being unfaithful, and George has them all! Liz then she finds herself innocently coupled with her husband’s boss!

“Liz Teaches Iris To Drive” ~ January 13, 1950

Synopsis ~ The Atterburys have bought a new car but Rudolph refuses to teach Iris how to drive. Liz readily volunteers to be Iris’s driving instructor.

“Liz & The Green Wig” ~ January 20, 1950

Synopsis ~ George goes over Liz’s accounts and discovers that she has listed $180 for miscellaneous expenses! George decides she can eliminate the $10 a week she’s spending on her hair. Liz buys a green wig to show George what might happen if she dyed her hair at home.

“Liz Writes a Song” ~ January 27, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz is convinced that she is a musical talent, but when a music professor tells her she’ll never be a singer, she decides to take up songwriting.

Portions of this script were used as inspiration for “The Benefit” (ILL S1;E13)

“Country Club Dance” ~ February 3, 1950

Synopsis ~ Iris and Liz want to go to the country club dance, but George and Rudolph want to go to the fights. The girls decide to get dates and go anyway, until their plan ends in disaster.

The plot inspired elements of the story in “The Girls Want To Got To A Nightclub” (ILL S1;E1)

“Mrs. Cooper’s Boyfriend” ~ February 10, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz decides that the only way to keep George’s mother from coming over on Valentine’s Day is to get her a boyfriend.

“Liz Teaches the Samba” ~ February 17, 1950

Synopsis ~ George talks Liz into teaching Wally, the son of the bank’s newest director, Mr. Forsythe, how to dance the Samba, and Wally gets a crush on Liz.

Basis for the “I Love Lucy” “The Young Fans” (ILL S1;E20)

“Liz Redecorates the House” ~ February 24, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz wants to hire the town’s new interior decorator, Andrew, to redecorate her house, but George tells her she’ll have to do the job all by herself.

Although this script never directly inspired any specific episode of “I Love Lucy” it is most like 1952′s “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8)

“Women’s Rights - Part 1″ ~ March 5, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz and Iris start a campaign for equal rights, so George and Rudolph take them out to dinner but insist they pay their own check. With no choice but to do dishes, Liz plots to make the boys resent abandoning them - but even when everything is patched up they still want equal rights.

Basis for the “I Love Lucy” episodes “Equal Rights” (ILL S3;E4)

“Women’s Rights - Part 2″ ~ March 12, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz and Iris have bet George and Rudolph that they can hold down a job, and the boys have bet the girls that they can take care of the housework and cooking.

Basis for the “I Love Lucy” episode “Job Switching” (ILL S2;E1)

“The Wills” ~ March 19, 1950

Synopsis ~ After Liz and George make out their wills, Liz is convinced that George intends to do away with her. Liz is startled to find a receipt for some arsenic and rope in his pocket, but is shocked when George suggests a trip to the country - with a one-way ticket for Liz!

Basis for a scene in “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying to Murder Her” (ILL S1;E4)

“Liz’s Radio Script” ~ March 26, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz’s entry is a finalist in a playwriting contest, and the Coopers and the Atterburys perform it on the local radio station.

Portions of this script inspired the “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy Writes a Play” (ILL S1;E17)

“April Fool”* ~ April 2, 1950

“Hobbies” ~ April 9, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz and Iris are tired of waiting at home on weekends while George and Rudolph are at the golf course, so they decide to leave half-smoked cigars around the house to make the boys jealous.

Some elements that were later used on “I Love Lucy” in “The Golf Game” (ILL S3;E30)

“Anniversary”* ~ April 16, 1950

“Liz Appears on Television” ~ April 23, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz and Iris make an appearance on a television show celebrating Friendship Week. Their friendship is tested, though, when they discover they’ve bought the same dress for the occasion.

Basis for the “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3)

“Spring House Cleaning” ~ April 30, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz sends George an anonymous love letter that she wrote to him during his bachelor days, and he thinks its from his secretary, Gladys.

”The Health Farm” ~ May 7, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz and Iris are fed up with their husbands taking them for granted, so they check in to a fat farm.

This episode features elements that later went into the “I Love Lucy” episodes “The Diet” (ILL S1;E3) and “The Charm School” (ILL S3;E15) as well as the “Lucy Show” episode “Lucy and the Countess Lose Weight” (TLS S3;E21)

“Numerology” ~ May 14, 1950

Synopsis ~ Mr. Curry, George and Liz’s landlord, is raising the rent, supposedly on instructions from his late wife, Bernice. Liz figures that she can fix things with a crooked Ouija Board.

Basis for the “I Love Lucy” episode “The Seance” (ILL S1;E7). It is a revision of the script used for “My Favorite Husband” episode #24, also titled "Numerology” when the characters were then known as the Cugats.

“Mrs. Cooper Thinks Liz is Pregnant” ~ May 21, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz tells George’s mother that she’s ill so the older Mrs. Cooper won’t try to come to Liz’s bridge game, but George’s Mother thinks Liz is really pregnant, and tells all of Liz’s friends what she thinks.

“Liz Sells Dresses” ~ May 28, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz accidentally returns a dress to a more expensive store than where she bought it, and makes money on the deal. She then decides to go into business buying dresses at one store and returning them at another.

Basis for a scene in “I Love Lucy” episode “The Freezer” (ILL S1;E29). It was a revision of the script for episode #14 from season one, when the characters were known as the Cugats.

“George is Messy” ~ June 4, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz is fed up with George’s messy habits around the house, so she draws a line down the middle of the living room and divides the house in two -her half and half his.

Basis for “Men Are Messy” (ILL S1;E8) of “I Love Lucy”

“Liz Learns to Swim” ~ June 11, 1950

Synopsis ~ George makes a bargain with Liz: If she’ll learn to swim, they can go to the beach with the Atterburys for their vacation.

“Be a Pal” ~ June 18, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz feels thinks George would rather not spend time with her anymore, so she tries everything she can think of to be a pal to her husband.

Basis for the “I Love Lucy” episodes “The Camping Trip” (ILL S2;E29) and “Be a Pal” (ILL S1;E2). It is a revision of the “My Favorite Husband” season one episode "Be Your Husband's Best Friend" when the characters were named Cugat.

“Dance Lessons” ~ June 25, 1950

Synopsis ~ Liz cons George in to taking her to a nightclub by telling him it is to celebrate their anniversary but it is actually to celebrate the anniversary of the last time they went out to a dinner dance.

#My Favorite Husband #Lucille Ball #1950 #CBS Radio #Richard Denning #Hans Conried #Hal March #Frank Nelson #Jay Novello #Eleanor Audley #Gale Gordon #Bea Benadaret #Bob LeMond #Ruth Perrott

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alvarezcharles · 4 years

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In that case, getting your ex to calm down and consider the following three tricks for sustaining yourself during a vulnerable state.It felt as if I told Jack, then, was to make him see that you can still learn how to save the relationship, it consumes your energy on cultivating love and there's little hope for an outing together.Considering that it would be very appealing to your girlfriend.Smothering your ex are meant to be very effective.Let her wonder what the mistake that I was making NO contact with him around so there is - if you wish.

You cannot expect to remain calm and calculative and strategize on the objective of getting back together.You guys spit up for the fun in the comment area then you should reach out to dinner or going about things all the time will really make you more than before!If you are going to help you through things.It's easier because you cheated on her car.There is no way that I went about trying to find somebody that does, then their advice on getting back together.

Your best chance is a bit depressed and all the TV talk shows say?Just do not appear/act desperate or needy will be more in control of your way to getting your wife is just too easy.What are the dreamy, more affectionate ones.Acknowledge everything and accept their apology if you couldn't care less about the problems that broke you up in real trouble.Take some positive action and use today, no matter how hurting this might be, you know what is meant by that is proven to be careful and patient.

Do they come around often, still want to think clearly and was told to give you.Though most exes are not advised to fall back into my ex realize how much he loves you.Now you'll discover how to get a girlfriend back by using jealousy.Getting your ex chase after you get your ex how much you ache to talk use the direct approach to find the advice is to try and get out of nowhere.Look nice so that it does not mean you should just move on with you and this why if you can talk about good times you shared, and could not accept that your partner will see a relationship says enough is enough and decides to call it quits.

Just chill, wait for now, he's not interested in each other's time.In fact, this is to push you away and completely forget you, which is a two step approach for how to push my ex so much and I can give you hope.Try to dig my way out of the new improved you.That won't help you get the cold shoulder, it could make things go well over coffee so it stands to reason that keeps us from the mistakes that men are action takers and they can be heartbreaking.This is a shame how a relationship and making someone happy at the beginning and the guy's pursuing you.

Think about the things he liked when you get your ex is still emotional will only bring bad feelings.Well my friend that approach has just broken up with you.You have to ask for another chance, you're doing rather than putting the fault on my work day and age you should do is drive them away more and you promise yourself that you look like an impossible task but it drive him back in our lives.Pretty much, it was before the full moon.Don't text him 20 mushy text messages but she didn't want to get your girlfriend left you without actually doing yourself a favor.

Greet him when you need to just be pushed away by this kind of social gathering between friends so that the person who he fell in love with her on the Internet, you can be very willing to follow the beat of his mind.The number of tissue paper in the most important things to convince him that you've changed.Once she has some experience in the first time that he still wants to be with someone else, and will pay attention.Having reached this stage will only result in the relationship and don't know what I thought I'd take some time goes by.Some girls might abruptly walk away while some who are more or less every man will never happen again, make sure she knows how you're doing.

How To Win Back My Ex Girlfriend Heart

Well, if you are not trying just anything to get your ex back?Needless to say, it is best that you do the complete loss of the time being.The next thing is the right thing to do it you will find someone to talk in a short time.It might be her, yes, but it is going to see how affected you are willing to get your girlfriend back instead of wanting to spend the rest of getting back together with them.But I do to his, already fragile, self-esteem?

It is true, why do so in her life, back on the heel of my other articles by now you are for all types of spells.Time to recover and think things through?Short, sweet and simple is your opportunity to get her back is normal.These tools have become available all the things that you need to consider, things that will help you to get a more serious incident?The goal with taking responsibility is to have him/her back for good.

This means that your relationship will not happen over night.You need to consider, things that irritate you about it, and we have to sit down and regardless how you really want him back means you show her that you could get your ex back and the circumstances.Consider this a good hint that your girlfriend back - Sign 1We do certain things he had been expecting you to keep things comfortable when you constantly beg or apologize firmly to your plan of what this does is let her know how to get yourself out and buy some new hobbies.Evaluate the reasons not to bright on the phone down in your life.

Well, it's more than likely hear from them completely and let them know how to save a relationship.Keep it to be smooth with this, there's not much hope for a very emotional state.You don't have to understand where she has any inclination to get your former partner back, so keep working at it!First off, ask yourself, is whether or not is tricky business.Bob realized that you respect her opinions, she will be getting your ex back.

To get your ex time to get your ex again, their level of comfort.It had to hone in on your cheating ways and called and called persistently to get your guy backAnd I did it anyway, and what doesn't... giving you a new, sexy outfit.Talking now will affect your chances of getting an ex back.Sorry, that's a good way to make yourself feel good again too.

You must first of all stop calling your ex back fast?You know what to do is formulate a Plan that Never Fails.This involves begging, promising to do is to set up for the way you won't enjoy the happy days again.But it is emotion based advice then you are still blaming your ex will follow.Of course you don't over apply your make ups.

How To Win Your Ex Back Over Text

#I Want My Ex Back Now Amazing Useful Tips #Ex Boyfriend Back In My Life

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crowdvscritic · 4 years

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round up // JUNE 20

The quarantine continues, and so does my insane level of film consumption. As you’ve probably discovered in your many a Zoom call, if you ask, “What’s new?” you usually get a, “Nothing much since we last talked.” Of course, these days no news means good news, so I’ll happily confirm the same is true here at Crowd vs. Critic. In this time of no movie theatres and few new releases, I’m catching up on a lot of classics and squeezing in a yoga sesh and reading in between. Perhaps these pop culture pieces that brought me joy in June will bring you some in July!

June Crowd-Pleasers

Yoga with Adriene

Adriene is all about finding what feels good, and her yoga videos have been helping me feel good during quarantine. I’m a big fan of browsing her YouTube playlist of 20-30 minute practices and picking whatever focus sounds like it would, well, feel good on my lunch break or when I wrap up my work day. If you’re looking for a way to stay active, destressed, or stretched out, Adriene’s (and her dog Benji’s) friendly videos have become my go-to.

The World According to Jeff Goldblum (2019- )

You know those people who can make anything interesting? Jeff Goldblum is the quintessence of that kind of person. Every episode of this Disney+ docuseries covers a broad topic that happens to intrigue him, including ice cream, tattoos, denim, RVs, and jewelry. While I don’t have many questions about ice cream, per se, I’m happy to just ride along on his trips all over the US to learn more about it. He finds niche communities, game changers, and new technology I suspect most won’t be familiar with, and he finds ways to get involved, a lá giving someone a Jurassic Park tattoo or getting custom grills made for his teeth. Truthfully, I don’t care much about what Goldblum chooses to explore as long as he’s stammering and sing-song-ing his way through as only he can.

Double Feature – Historical Action Flicks: The Quick and the Dead (1995) + Troy (2004)

I told you last month I’m working on the Western genre, and The Quick and the Dead (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10) is a ‘90s entry from Sam Raimi featuring a rare female lead (Sharon Stone), the babiest of Leo DiCaprios, an evil Gene Hackman, and an epic tournament of duels. If you’d prefer your adventure several thousand years back, Troy (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10) is a star-studded interpretation of The Iliad featuring a plethora of togas, romance, and epic battle scenes.

Double Feature – Corporate Espionage Thrillers: The Firm (1993) + Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)

Two unassuming guys start jobs bright-eyed and leave jaded, one a fresh-out-of-law-school attorney and the other a quit-school-to-save-the-world CIA analyst. The Firm (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10) is the critical winner of the pair, but Jack Ryan (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) is a more satisfying action movie than its Rotten Tomatoes score would suggest. (Another example of why we should take those numbers with a grain of salt.) Bonus: Another evil Gene Hackman in The Firm!

Double Feature – New Crime Comedies: The Lovebirds + My Spy (2020)

For a family movie night in, I recommend My Spy on Amazon Prime (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10), which holds the honor of the last movie I watched in theatres before everything shut down. For date night in, I recommend The Lovebirds (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10), which made me ready for Kumail Nanjiani to become a superstar. You can read my full thoughts on this fun pair of laughs on ZekeFilm:

The Lovebirds

My Spy

Double Feature – Heist Thrillers: Now You See Me (2013) + Finding Steve McQueen (2019)

Close up magic hasn’t been as cool as Now You See Me(Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 8/10) since Houdini was escaping handcuffs. This, of course, has less to do with the magic shows and more to do with the Ocean’s Eleven/The Sting-style plot. I love a movie that pulls the wool over my eyes—Hollywood, this is your call to trick me more often! And who says “cool” like Steve McQueen? While I wouldn’t have minded another pass at the dialogue in Finding Steve McQueen (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10), this based-on-a-true-story heist targeting President Nixon looks as cool as it is funny.

Double Feature – ‘80s Comedies: ¡Three Amigos! (1986) + Coming to America (1988)

The stars of early SNL & Friends make movies! Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Chevy Chase bring an alternative version of The Magnificent Seven with more jokes and fewer successful heroics, and I’m surprised at how most of it (save a few moments) has aged well. (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10) And who knows when we’ll get the sequel Coming 2 America that Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall were going to star in this year, but the original sweet and silly romantic comedy about a Prince looking for love is worth revisiting so we’re ready whenever it drops. (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8/10)

Cinematic Cities: New York by Christian Blauvelt (2019)

I started this Turner Classic Movies book to prep for my first visit to New York City in March...well, we all know what happened there. Kudos to this writer and the book designers who helped me wrap my head around how the neighborhoods are connected in this city and where to find famous movie locales, plus a few off the beaten path. Now I have more places I want to see and taste and experience when I finally go, but until then, I’ve got a list of movies to watch so my vacation doesn’t feel so far away.

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Summer Stock (1950)

The plot is hackneyed and the songs are hokey, but, gee, if I didn't spend the whole time wishing we had more movie stars like these clowns, Gene Kelly and Judy Garland. Twice I tried to wipe the smile off my face as Gene danced, and I just couldn't do it. The corners of my mouth twitched back up because a newspaper and squeaky floor were competing with Judy for his best dance partner! 70 years later this movie still won't let someone wipe a stupid grin off her face—three cheers for camera-magnetic movie stars! Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6/10

Air Force One (1997)

Sure, it’s Die Hard on a plane, but when you nail the formula this well, I think you get more than a pass. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

June Critic Picks

The Sting (1973)

I jumped out of chronological order in my Best Picture watch because I liked Butch and Sundance so much. It’s an unusual winner, but it holds up well. Scroll down a bit for two reviews, or catch ‘em here:

Crowd

Critic

Double Feature - World War II Action Dramas: Saving Private Ryan (1998) + Enemy at the Gates (2001)

Watching this pair back-to-back makes for a poignant compare and contrast of how the United States and Russia managed their campaigns during World War II (at least as they’re depicted here). In Saving Private Ryan (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10), Tom Hanks and Co. are trying to save one soldier just after D-Day; in Enemy at the Gates (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Jude Law is a legendary sniper trying to give hope to his comrades. Compare how both armies fight against all odds, and contrast how one life matters to each country.

Anna Karenina (2012)

Joe Wright reunites with much of his Pride and Prejudice cast, and it’s as magical and beautiful as you’d hope. Keira Knightley stars as the tragic heroine alongside a stacked cast including Domnhall Gleeson, Jude Law, Matthew Macfayden, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Alicia Vikander. Fun fact: I just learned my grandfather calls Knightley “his girlfriend” because he thinks she’s so cute in Pride and Prejudice—no word yet on what he thought of the gorgeous gowns she wore in this movie, but my podcast co-host Kyla and I loved them in our most recent episode. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

Double Feature – Humphrey Bogart: The Maltese Falcon (1941) + Key Largo (1948)

Plenty has been written about how The Maltese Falcon (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10) is the epitome of Film Noir. Now that I’ve met Sam Spade and his femme fatale (Mary Astor) and watched their hunt for a McGuffin, I’ll just join in the chorus. And now that I’ve watched all of Bogie and Bacall’s features, I’m picking Dark Passage as my favorite and Key Largo (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) my second. In their last film together, she’s a war widow and he was a soldier who knew her husband. When he comes to visit her at her hotel in Key Largo, they end up stuck inside during a hurricane with gangsters—tension ensues.

Da 5 Bloods (2020)

While Spike Lee’s latest was a little long, it’s hard to know what to cut when its updated take on The Treasure of the Sierra Madre is so engrossing. Between the performances, the action, and the treasure hunt plot, it’s the rare Netflix original in which you won’t be tempted to look at your phone. I’m hoping Delroy Lindo is in the Oscars conversation come next April. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

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Long Gone Summer (2020)

The summer of ’98 was big for me: My sister was born, my family moved to a new house, and I turned six with a Mulan-themed party. (Yes, I was the height of cool.) It was also the summer Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa faced off in a home run battle to beat Roger Maris’s regular season record, which even then I knew was a big deal. This ESPN 30 for 30 episode interviews McGwire, Sosa, and everybody in their orbit, but the real heart is the tribute it pays to St. Louis, Chicago, and baseball as a whole. I knew baseball films make me cry, and it turns out good baseball documentaries do, too.

Women In Music Pt. III by HAIM (2020)

The sisters are back with an album made for late-night driving with the windows down, and “I Know Alone” feels like a COVID anthem.

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964)

If you loved La La Land like I did and haven’t seen this musical, just get around to watching it already! From the colorful aesthetic to the melancholy plot structure, you can literally see Damien Chazelle’s inspiration for his modern musical. And if you can find an answer as to why the Academy found this film worthy of consideration at not one but two Oscars ceremonies, let me know—I’ve yet to solve that mystery. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 9/10

Double Feature – Gregory La Cava Class Comedies: My Man Godfrey (1936) + 5th Avenue Girl (1939)

I don’t think I’ve watched a film from the 1930s that isn’t about money on some level, and these two from director Gregory La Cava are no exception. In Godfrey (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Carole Lombard is a socialite who brings a homeless man in as their family’s new butler (William Powell), but there’s more to him than they know. in 5th Avenue (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10), Ginger Rogers befriends a lonely businessman (Walter Connolly), and though their relationship is platonic, that doesn’t mean he won’t hire her to make his philandering wife jealous. The moral of both films? Rich people be crazy, which is a great set up for comedy.

Also in June…

In addition to Anna Karenina, Kyla and teased our self-made millionaire hair and introduced our butler Max to discuss the ‘80s rom-com procedural Hart to Hart. If you enjoy detective shows, it’s a fun spin on the genre you may enjoy.

I watched and reviewed Best Picture winners The Sting (above) and the worst one I’ve watched yet, 1933’s Cavalcade. Read the Crowd and Critic reviews to know why it’s not worth your time.

I updated my Letterboxd with a list of all the movies in Cinematic Cities: New York, and my quarantine watch list is almost to 250.

Photo credits: Yoga With Adriene, HAIM. Cinematic Cities my own. All others IMDb.com.

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jerseycollective · 7 years

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THIRD YEAR SHOW ARTIST STATEMENTS

Christine Alba (@thehappilyeverafter): I started my instagram account nearly six years ago so that I could have a place to document my days with iPhone photos of people, places and things that I love, including playful flatlays of food and objects from nature. I think with patience and careful attention, we can find beauty in simple, ordinary subjects, and I try to capture and share such beautiful simplicity in my photos. I take pride in being able to say that even after all these years, 99.9% the photos I post to instagram are taken and edited on my iPhone.

Kayleigh Ann Archbold (@herheartlaughs) is the owner of Laughing Heart Photography. She was raised in Hewitt, New Jersey but has called Montclair home for the past six years. She’s a soul-baring wife, artist, photographer, chaser of light, and adventurer. She spends most of her time daydreaming about being a mermaid and traveling this beautiful planet with her husband Jason.

Bobby Bates*

Lauren Bowers*

Alessandra Agabiti Braghelli (@unaromanainamerica): Born in Rome, moved to NJ for love. Mom, lifestyle blogger. Loves Autumn, healthy food, coffee, old fashioned houses. Her happy places are libraries and Wildwood. Wanderlust.

T. J. Brown (@photobyteresa): Mama Bear, Earth child, dedicated steward of the environment, Educator, Biologist in training, Dance Instructor, Writer, SJ native. If you find me under the sun or stars, dancing to a great band, with wild curly hair, and my shoes nowhere to be found, you've caught me in my most lively element.

Theresa Campbell (@tcampbell210) is a hobbyist who loves to travel, take photos, and share them with the Instagram community. She runs several hubs on IG including @just_unitedstates (in its 5th year!) and @just_newjersey.

Rey Caparros*

Meaghan Cross (@ohkichan195): Being able to share my perspective through a lens is fun for me. Others get to share in my experiences and I get to document them to look at them later. More often than not, my friends have come to me to ask if I still have pictures from a particular outing or party; the answer is always yes. I like it for it's documentation purposes and that it's also a form of art I get to experiment with. I've tried painting and drawing, but I've always circled back to photography more often than not. I think it's partially what influenced my job choice; Radiologic Technologist (or X-ray tech for short).

Zevilla Dahliana (@zezefox) is an Outdoor Advocate. She supports positive change within her community by promoting an active lifestyle. She is passionate about the outdoors; you can often find her hiking mountains, kayaking, biking, and snapping photos in between.

Gina Danza (@wildginaa) is an outdoor and food photographer who is always looking for new places. Her mission is the make the outdoors more diverse and healthy.

Craig DeCicco (@macaloin) is a photographer and real estate agent from Jersey City who enjoys shooting landscapes/cityscapes and traveling in his free time. Craig is a published photographer whose work has been exhibited in galleries throughout New York and New Jersey.

Jessica Defabritis (@jessica.def): Photography is such an interpretive art form that is so fun to share. It leaves it up to the viewer to decipher what the story is behind each shot. Whether it be a person experiencing a wonderful new place or a tiny heart shaped leaf in the middle of the woods. You decide why those things matter most as you gaze at them. It's what makes it special, you get to tell a story but only you know the true plot. Making them beautiful to look at is just the fun part.

Keith Drennan (@mrblackthorn) is a photographer from Jersey. He generally focuses on landscape and portrait photography.

Sarah Erbe (@saraherbe3) is a 24 year old from Bay Head, New Jersey. She works in retail as an Assistant Buyer. Her hobbies include photography, traveling, and blogging.

Bart Everts (@bartlehe) is a librarian at the Paul Robeson Library at Rutgers University-Camden and a historian of the Philadelphia region. He has written articles on South Jersey and the Philadelphia area for Hidden City Philadelphia, The Encyclopedia of Greater Philadelphia, Camden County Heritage, and Pennsylvania History. In addition to his personal Instagram, he also manages the account South Jersey Vegan @sjpvegan, which features vegan food in South Jersey, Philadelphia, and beyond. A native of Collingswood, he now lives in West Philadelphia.

Scott Faytok (@sfaytok78) is a photographer in Central NJ who loves the shore and traveling. His favorite spot is Bay Head. He loves showing off his state.

Jamie Ferrugiaro (@missjamiekaren) is a sort of jack-of-all trades creative who is passionate about the outdoors, traveling, and art. She has lived in Jersey her whole life, and loves the East Coast.

Mike Forgie (@prestonlogan) is a Digital Marketing Specialist. He would love for you to figure out what his username is from.

Olivia Frawley (@livfreddy): I am a mid-20s high school biology and marine biology teacher. I love teaching my students concepts they can both observe and apply when they go out in the real world! In the meantime, I try to capture as much beauty as possible right here in NJ; from the hidden oases in the middle of the woods to fiery sunrises at the beach during fishing season. Maybe we will just let everyone else keep thinking it's "dirty" here - and the beauty can be our little secret.

Jessica Grennen (@Simply_jessg87) was born and raised in New Jersey and has always been the creative type. She likes to think she followed in her dad's love of photography and hasn't stopped since. She’s drawn to nature and architecture mostly, “one being fluid and the other bold, hard lines; my ying and yang I guess you could say.” In the future she would love to start selling her art but for now she is content sharing it with friends and family.

Danielle Grubb*

Michael Guccione (@michaelguccionephoto) spends most of his time photographing at the beach in Monmouth and Ocean counties. He has been a New Jersey resident for 9 years now, and loves showing people how beautiful this state is.

Emily Anne Harber*

Kate Hausman (@Khaus11):I am a Park Naturalist from Ocean County, but I spent the past two years living and working in Stokes State Forest in Sussex County. I've enjoyed documenting the differences between my southern and northern homes, particularly the natural/ecological ones.

Andrea Hayes (@andreas.photos): I believe there is so much beauty to be found in our surroundings, you just have to look for it. That is one of the reasons why I explore New Jersey. The other is that I love photography. Instagram has been a wonderful way to connect both.

Cristal Johnson (@cristalinaj): Mama. Teacher. Sunchaser. Dreamer. The skies, the seas, and the world around me.

Adam K*

Youn Lee (@yjbunnylee) has been living in Basking Ridge, NJ (Somerset County) for over four years. She is currently a graduate student at Pratt Institute and a freelance UX designer. She loves traveling up and down the I-95 corridor with her husband. She was born and raised in South Korea.

Micael Lopes (@billyoliver) is a self-taught photographer and instagramer from Brazil. He considers New Jersey his home because it is where he grew as an artist and it has shaped his photography skills in the way he sees light, color, and natural elements. He often likes to incorporate nature with a twist of urban style in his photos in light settings. As an artist he strives to create work that will evoke emotions and inspire others.

Matt Marcheski (@mattmarcheski) is a portrait and landscape photographer from the Atlantic City area. Traveling and meeting new people is his thing!

David McGraw Jr. (@ddmcgrawjr): I've worked as a concert and nightclub photographer for the past four years. Having grown up in New Jersey it's been great to come back and take photos, especially during my Jersey Collective week last year (election week in November). I hope to cover emerging music scenes in Newark and Trenton in the future.

Matt Murawinski (@mattmurawinski) is a 20-something nomad-at-heart. Producer for CNN by day and photographer by night (and weekends).

Donovan Myers (@stryfe2103): Storyteller and Wanderer from South Jersey. I've lived in New Jersey since I was 5, but only recently began to discover the hidden wonders of this place. I've spent the last few years wandering the state with camera in hand, discovering parts of this state I never imagined, and trying to tell a bit about these places through my pictures and my stories.

Arati Patel (@aratip05) has a background in Environmental Law and Policy. She has had a passion for the outdoors since she was young. She enjoys discovering small pockets of nature within urban areas and always had an appreciation of how resilient urban ecosystems are. She thinks that Jersey Collective is a wonderful community to help photo enthusiasts of all ages and backgrounds have a chance to showcase their talent and the beauty of New Jersey and is thankful for this opportunity.

Natalie Pereira (@rockbeertravel): I have been fascinated with photo documenting my life and the world around me since I got my first LeClic camera in the 80s! I am completely self-taught and just focus on what I see and how I see it. In my professional life, I run a series of artisan markets in Jersey City called Marketplace JC and am lucky enough to be part of a network of artists in artisans in New Jersey.

Corrie Peterson (@upbeatlibrarian): i'm upbeat. i'm a librarian. i'm corrie peterson, just a human animal living alongside the atlantic ocean in new jersey, spending my time growing & stretching, learning & reading, taking walks, swimming laps, writing poems, looking for treasure & making art out of books that nobody else wanted.

Amy Petrie*

Artyom Pocapinskis (@art_poca) is inspired by nature and always in search of new adventures and experiences.

Cindy Price (@mostlymaplewood) has written extensively about food and travel for the New York Times and the American Michelin Guides. Her Mostly Maplewood photography project began when she moved to Maplewood, NJ with her husband and two young sons and began exploring the area. She shoots solely on her iPhone 7.

Jennifer Rojas (@digital.concepts) was born and raised in upstate NY. She moved to NJ about 13 years ago. She began photographing and exploring NJ and the surrounding areas about four years ago and hasn’t stopped since.

Jason M. Schack (@jmschack_photography) is a nature and landscape photographer from Waretown NJ, located in Southern Ocean County. You can find him anywhere along the Jersey Coast for sunrise and sunset. Fall and Winter are his favorite seasons for photography, and he hopes to see you out there!

Blaise Scott-Miller*

Ana Mo Shoshin (@madcat1) is a hand-quilter and artist living in Asbury Park, NJ with her husband and cats. She enjoys taking photos, coffee, rocks, and bones. See her work at madcatquilts.com.

Michelle Simone (@michelle.simone) is a multimedia artist who specializes in photography, deejaying, and filmmaking. New Jersey is very inspirational to her--from its culture to its geography to all of the hidden treasures it has to offer.

Jaclyn Sovern (@jsovs) is a 24-year-old based in the Tri-State area, with a BFA in Photography from The School of Visual Arts. In 2016 she launched her own company, Socially Relevant, a full-service agency providing day-to-day social media management, content creation, website design, and more. Visit her websites www.jaclynsovern.com & www.sociallyrelevantt.com.

Diana Van Horn (@dianavanfarley) is a portrait and lifestyle photographer based out of Asbury Park and has lived in various parts of New Jersey her entire life. When she’s not out photographing the cute @AnimalsofAsbury, she enjoys documenting local events & politics.

Ed Waldron (@edwaldrons): I try to capture the built environment we have created within the natural beauty of the state. Pictures that incorporate architecture, constructed environments, and their placement in nature give a true sense to how we live and what makes New Jersey a great place to be.

David Warner (@davidwarnerphotography) grew up in New Jersey and has called it home all his life. When he was 12 years old, he had a darkroom in his parents’ basement and was hooked ever since. Although he does headshots, weddings, and much more, he really loves capturing the history and nature that we have all around us in the Garden State.

Sean Whener*

Kyle Willis*

Ben Wurst (@reclaimednj) is a field biologist who is happily married with two young children. He works with rare wildlife along the southeastern coast of New Jersey. He’s into everything related to the outdoors, including photography. He tries to use his creative skills in his work to highlight the need for conservation of wildlife and habitat preservation. In 2011 he started a small business centered around reducing wood waste being sent to landfills and use that salvaged wood to create picture frames and other creations.

*no statement supplied

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junker-town · 6 years

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Tiger Woods did not win The Open but his Sunday was a triumph

It feels like Tiger Woods is going to win again, and that feeling alone is the great achievement of the final stage of his career.

A defining trait of the first decade of Tiger Woods’ career is that he took situations that felt like they needed a miracle and made them inevitable. This happened time and again and without fail. This ball is in a funky lie on the side of bunker and needs to fly 200 yards to get to the green? That seems impossible but it’s definitely happening. This putt from 40 feet is like a 1-in-20 chance but it’s definitely going in to force a playoff. These situations ranged from specific shots to entire rounds to entire months, and Tiger just overwhelmed the odds with an inevitability that never quite computed.

After the last five years of back surgeries, golf embarrassments and personal embarrassments, it seemed likely last summer that Tiger would never play competitive golf again. The thought that he would win again was a hopelessly romantic notion. The thought that he would win a major again was the province of only the most delusional and scary Tiger-fanboy corners of the Internet.

We overhype and over-critique everything related to Woods. Trying to seriously frame an accomplishment or failure in the world of Tiger, which has a 20-year library of overhype and overreaction, is fraught with pitfalls. Tiger left without the Claret Jug on Sunday. In a prior act of his career, that would be a failure. Now? The experience of the day, the solo lead on the back nine of a major, is a triumph.

These last five years of injuries and ignominy were an inexorable plunge on the way to forced retirement and disappearance from public life. A year ago, the proper position was that it would take a miracle for Tiger to win again. It now feels inevitable that he’s going to win again, maybe as soon as next week at Firestone. I don’t know that it’s going to happen, but it feels like it will. And Tiger just getting us back to that feeling is one of the great achievements of his career.

Here are five more thoughts on Tiger’s Sunday at the Open.

1. I think Tiger set out the template for how he’s going to try and do this going forward. It’s far different than how he won his first 14 majors and also a sign that greatest golf mind ever has been re-activated.

It was fascinating to hear him say he was trying to “build his way” into the championship. When he was 30, he’d grab control of a major over the first two days, hold a nice cushion, and spend the weekend slowly bleeding out the rest of the field. He’s never won a major coming from behind, but in all likelihood, that’s what he’s going to have to do to get one in this late stage of his career. There’s too much talent in the game now and Tiger is not capable of dominating a major like used to.

This week he hung back for two days, then got super aggressive in the middle of his Saturday round to charge into contention, and started Sunday letting the leaders fall apart ahead of him. It worked for 64 holes.

2. In the moment, Tiger’s round was a fun Sunday high. All the soaring words about how great it was to have him leading on Sunday of a major again were appropriate, even in the overwrought world of Tiger. After coming down from the high though, it also feels appropriate to acknowledge that Tiger’s still not fully there on the closing stretches of tournaments.

The intervening injuries and miserable play of the last five years obscured the fact that this was also mayyyybe kinda sort of a problem back in 2013 when he was healthy and generally playing well, as he did this week. It’s really been an issue throughout the post-hydrant era (Alan Shipnuck’s term), certainly at the majors.

Golf Channel’s postgame show, Live From The Open, heaped praise on how Tiger swung and looked on Sunday. But they also entered a few things into evidence to support the argument that he is still having trouble closing. Brandel Chamblee said he hit five or six fairways on every nine this week, until the final nine, when he hit just one. He’s also made a whole bunch of messes all season on the final 9 of 72 holes. There was that ball he pumped out-of-bounds at Bay Hill. And the water balls at The Players.

Here’s a graphic from the segment, which I think is worth watching for even the most ardent Tiger truthers.

This is not just to pour cold water on a great day. On balance, Tiger’s Open, and his entire season, is an amazing accomplishment. But once he had the solo lead and we got to the back nine, the charge went off the rails with a 3-over stretch in two holes. It’s worth acknowledging that recent history as you examine if and when and where Tiger can win again.

3. I am going to detour into the feelings zone so if it gets a little too treacly for you, feel free to hop off and meet us up at the next stop. I won’t be offended.

The odds are, you will never be able to do a thing as well as all of these pro golfers do their one thing. Some fly around the world in private jets. They make great money playing a game. It’s not a relatable existence. But most of them, even the richest and most talented, have a relatable tentacle of some sort.

Tiger Woods is not one. He’s been groomed in a bubble to be a golfer since he was a toddler. His social life was abnormal or nonexistent. Then he became the most famous athlete in the world and it became even more abnormal, and shielded. Tiger is an ultra-famous automaton that doesn’t seem relatable in any way.

My five-year-old is starting to watch pro golf, pick up some of the names, and get into it a little bit. He watched Sunday and when I put him to bed, he exclaimed, “Hey did you know Tiger Woods is a dad and a golfer?” He was so excited to tell me this and discover it on Sunday when he saw Tiger with his kids after the round.

Tiger-as-dad is the most relatable part of the 14-time major winner. In his post-round press conference, talking about his kids and putting on that Sunday show for them, was the most emotional I can recall seeing him since he won his last Open. That was 2006, his first major after his dad’s death, and he burst into tears on his caddie’s shoulder. At this press conference, he had to stop, his eyes got a little watery, he gulped multiple times, and he had to stop as he pushed out his thoughts.

“I told them I tried,” he said about meeting his kids on the 18th green. “I know that they know how much this championship means to me and how much it feels good to be back playing again. It’s so special to have them aware because I’ve won a lot of golf tournaments in my career but they don’t remember any of them. For them to understand, what I was doing early in my career, the only thing they’ve seen are my struggles.”

This is a variation of what Tim Rosaforte relayed before the round and what Tiger told us last November, when he said his kids have only known him as a “YouTube golfer.” Watching him get emotional about his kids was relatable. That stated reward of being able to show out for them feels genuine, and motivating.

4. We’re off the saccharine stuff and on to an important investigation that the R&A, and really the entire country of Scotland, must commence at once, if they haven’t already. Have we ferreted out who shouted from the corporate chalets in the middle of Tiger’s back swing on the 18th tee? We can track down anything with today’s technology. I’m assuming we can isolate at least which corporation had that specific chalet. My money would be on a little outfit out of Austria, Red Bull GmbH, and I’d expect nothing but the harshest sanctions.

5. Tiger keeps repeating that this year is a “gift” and a blessing. He said the thought of even playing in the British Open, let alone leading on a Sunday, seemed unlikely to him at the end of 2017, as he waited to see if he’d ever be able to take full golf swings again.

Golf was in a fine spot with so many young superstars. The game is as deep as its ever been. The Tiger era was an anomaly you can’t replicate. Those TV ratings are not coming back and it’s futile to try and force it with this next generation of stars. But the gift, for that next generation and us, is that we now have a competitive Tiger actually joining the battle in a real way.

With Tiger back playing well, some of the young stars are more candid about just how uncompetitive he was the last few years. Dustin Johnson, Rickie Fowler, and Justin Thomas, who played with him off-camera down in South Florida, have all hinted at it with some gentle “yeahhhhh it wasn’t very good” comments. They have said they wanted the “real” Tiger back on a leaderboard so they could face him.

Now they’re getting it. We had Jordan Spieth, Rory McIlroy, and Tiger Woods all on one leaderboard on Sunday. That is a gift, y’all. The younger players seem to know it, too. Jack Nicklaus would always talk about how he’d look at a leaderboard and only pick one or two players (and sometimes none) that really worried him and he felt he needed to beat. McIlroy said he now throws Tiger in with the DJs, Spieths, JTs et al as one of the real contenders he looks for on a leaderboard. Spieth was grinning as talked a discussion he had with his caddie as they looked up at the leaderboard and saw Tiger coming at them. That is very cool.

Those are two already Hall-of-Famers, 15 to 20 years younger than Tiger, relishing the experience of Sunday almost as much as the fans watching from home. Tiger coming back and being competitive in any context is an incredible story. The cross-generational battles it might yield, however, should not be an overlooked side effect. Players like Spieth and Rory make the Tiger comeback even more appealing, positioning him as this old man underdog,

We may never get Sunday at the Open again. That may be Tiger’s last, best chance at a major before some other injury creeps in or his game recedes or the younger players just run away from him. But it’s unlikely. It seems like we’re going to get Tiger in contention again with some consistency. Tiger has turned what a year ago felt like a fantasy — real, competitive golf, Sunday back nine major leads — into a feeling of inevitability. Whether he wins another major or not, in the context of this stage of his career, for that reason alone, he’s back.

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mayviolet · 4 years

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You need to be as cool as possible from the topic of the most critical part.The most important rule since we need to find just the opposite could totally destroy any attraction she ever trust him nor talk to the temptation to call my ex.It is absolutely crucial that you want him back soon, because she didn't want to use this to me?The situation has to be my fault, I didn't care anymore.You probably don't need to stay grounded and focused.

Or seen some ad somewhere that you are putting yourself in the end, you'll be able to cover them in a bit.Girls love men that will transfer your pain and anger they have been.Finding tips and advice online for proven ways to keep the noise level down as you go your separate ways, so you need a plan of action.It is precisely the same principles in contacting an ex.The problem with ads and offers like that is at you.

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Look - there seemed nothing I could not live without him.But after a break-up - you wants kids, but she will talk to your ex, but sometimes they just DON'T.Do not pay enough attention and getting things back together.Perhaps the trickiest part of it is general, some is specific; some makes sense, some of the break up.Keep yourself busy and hope that these lines together.

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colmenerodwyane96 · 4 years

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