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benegap · 7 years

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How You Doing? You Okay?

Source: Ned Simonds

An inordinate number of people have mentioned to us lately that they’ve been feeling a little “off,” “weird,” “strange,” or “not normal,” and have a hard time pinpointing the cause. Sure, we all have personal problems we deal with on a day to day basis, and some situations are far more serious, such as failing health or severe financial crises, than others, like who’s going to pick up the kids from camp or what to eat for dinner. In any given situation, we see the problem, blame it on our down mood, and then deal with it as best we can.

But what we’ve noticed of late is different because these people can’t put their finger on why they feel “off.” And this has us wondering: Are many parts of our nation living under a cloud of—for lack of a better term—free-floating anxiety?

A new level of stress

At some point in human development, it’s not unusual for an individual to undergo an identity crisis. Generally, it happens during a period of time when a person is confused or uncertain about themselves, usually because of an unexpected change that affects their place in society, or a sudden awareness of looking older, or a romantic breakup. Mid-life crises are a good example; youth is a thing of the past and it can feel like death is right around the corner. But if we expand our view to include the world, then we see that nations are similar to people—they are born, grow through developmental stages, mature (if they’re lucky), some become great, and eventually die slowly to become insignificant. Think about the former grandeur of Portugal, Greece, Egypt, and even Belgium.

With this in mind, it’s conceivable that our American nation is undergoing an identity crisis: Do we want to maintain and expand on the beliefs and traditions our founding fathers established 226 years ago in the Constitution? Or do we want to adopt the new, “America First” motto of our current president, which in some ways is diametrically opposed to those former ideals? Either way, millions of us are experiencing a new set of problems that bring new levels of stress into our everyday lives. These overarching circumstances that envelope our nation can feel like a low hanging thundercloud that may or may not burst at any moment. When we add this additional stress to our already personally stressful lives, we can feel “off,” “strange,” “weird,” and “not normal.”

While we don’t have a solution for the nation’s free-floating anxiety (besides awaiting for a regime change that is more compassionate in promoting the best American values for everyone, poor as well as the rich) we do have a mantra that we have passed on before to the distressed people mentioned above:

This too shall pass

Time is continuous and whatever is happening in the present moment will soon become the past. It might help to remember that each of us has suffered and made it through trying times, and so has our nation. We survived, and we thrived, and we will again, and again. Right now, in this moment, there is a world of possibility, which can be harnessed to create our brighter future. The following are some ways to stay hopeful right here, right now.

Three Ways to Stay Hopeful

1. Be kind to yourself and others.

This can take many forms. Here are a few:

• Curtail your intake of media—we are constantly bombarded by media with “breaking news” and may feel it’s necessary to be up on everything all the time. Although it might be a feather in our cap to be the first person to hear about and then share some exciting new tidbit, the time it takes to be so informed can take away from living life now. Go easy on yourself. Consider watching/reading a couple of news shows/articles a couple of times a day (once a day is better). Although news reported later in the day is more current, it’s not particularly healthy to go to sleep with disturbing thoughts fresh in your mind. So make sure you read, watch or do something that will replace unwanted thoughts before entering a sleep cycle. Maybe check only a favorite trusted morning news source.

• Take mini-breaks—these can be anywhere from 30 seconds to a couple of minutes, two or three times a day. Shift your focus from whatever you are doing to something that brings you the feeling of happiness. For instance, visually look at the flowers in the office or the clouds floating by or photos of loved ones, or close your eyes and go to your happy place; you’ll feel refreshed.

• Practice random acts of kindness—every day! Go ahead and help the elder person across the street, or get the item off the top shelf at the grocery store for the person in the wheelchair, or give a sincere compliment to your coworker, or hold the elevator door open for all to enter or exit freely. These random acts will bring a smile to your face as well as the person on the receiving end. Remember: Kindness begets hopeful feelings. Also by being a constructive, active up-stander instead of a passive inactive bystander, you are on you way to becoming what Phil calls an Everyday Hero in Training.

2. Treat each day like a precious gift.

• Express love tangibly—be generous with hugs for loved ones, encouraging words for coworkers, and those acts of kindness mentioned above. The more we express our love, the more deeply we feel it and the more hopeful we’ll be. Practice giving compliments to friends, coworkers, teachers, and service people who deserve the praise.

• Revel in the beauty around you—there is beauty everywhere; sometimes we just have to shift our focus. Notice the color of the sky, the grain in the wood, the water dripping off an icicle, the sound of children laughing, or bird song. Beauty is plentiful, and always there. Realizing there is beauty brings with it a feeling of hope.

• Be grateful—for everything! Say thanks for the roof over your head, food in the refrigerator, the bees pollinating flowers, and for the people in our lives, especially our family and friends. Even in the bleakest of times, we have much to be grateful for.

Source: Ned Simonds

3. Make a difference.

Perhaps the most important way we can stay hopeful is by making a difference in the lives of others. Here are a few suggestions:

• Volunteer—if you have a special skill, consider sharing it; be a reader at your local school or a helper at a soup kitchen. And if you have a special interest, consider getting involved in an organization that improves the life of others less fortunate. Volunteering puts not only our lives, but the lives of others into perspective. (See link below for info about Phil’s Heroic Imagination Project.)

• Make calls, write post cards—if being social isn’t your strong suit, consider making phone calls or sending post cards to government officials to express your concerns. Millions of people feel the same way you do but most won’t take action. And consider breaking the mold by being pro-social—go on a mass march to openly protest injustices to women and minorities and/or to support science, climate change initiatives, etc. Being pro-active is being hopeful.

• Be kind—it’s worth repeating: By being kind to yourself and others, you automatically make the world a better, more hopeful place and pave the way for a brighter future. The Dalai Lama reminds us often that shared Compassion makes our world more lovable and live able, but should begin with self-compassion. YOU are the key.

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jamillughhh-blog · 7 years

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Happiness How Can I Achieve You?

“Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions.” ― Dalai Lama XIV.

Have you ever experienced faking your smile? Have you ever experienced doubting yourself whether you’re truly happy or you’re just pleased about something? Do you often feel the excitement in doing certain things? Are you really sure that the things that makes you happy really make you happy? How do we really achieve happiness in our life? There’s a lot of questions bugging and going inside our mind when the word “happiness” is mentioned. And there is one question that has no definite answer and is very hard for people to answer. It is —— what is happiness?

How do you define happiness? According to the Oxford Dictionaries, happiness (noun) is the state of being happy. And for further understanding according again to Oxford Online Dictionary, the meaning of the word happy (adjective) is feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. This is only the lexical (definition of a word from the dictionary) definition of happiness.

According to Aristotle, happiness depends on ourselves. In one of his most influential works (Nicomachean Ethics) where he presents a theory about happiness, Aristotle seeks the answer for the question “What is the ultimate purpose of human existence?” For him happiness is a final end or goal that encompasses the totality of one’s life. He entrenches happiness as a central purpose of human life and goal to itself, more than anybody else.

People mostly aim for wealth, pleasure and good reputation or éclat. But is this what true happiness means? Do we really achieved happiness through this things?

Try asking a child what is happiness for him or her. The child will most likely answer: when they are playing, when they are taking a nap, when they are eating and when they are with their family. Then ask a teenager the same question, they might answer: when there is food, bonding and hanging out with friends, having less or no homework, doing what they like and hanging out with their family. Lastly, ask an adult the same question, they might answer: when there is money, when they achieved their dreams, when they are less stressed and just chilling out and pampering themselves and lastly when they already have a happy and complete family.

As you read and analyze the paragraph above, there is a difference between the perspectives of people with different ages. When it comes to a child his or her happiness is just platonic. And in the case of the teenager and adult their ideas became more profound. Because as people grow old his/her perspective about something changes and it’ll become more meaningful and recondite.

Happiness in every people’s life is very necessary and important. It’s like a pill that completes people’s everyday life. Without the state of being happy an individual would probably surrendered his or her life right now. And also happiness helps people to have more strength in solving every day’s challenges because it sets up the mood of a person then eventually lead into achieving his/her own targets in life.

How can I achieve happiness? For me the way of achieving happiness is different for every individual. Like what I stated earlier there is a difference in perspective and point of view of a person. Every people in the world has his or her own ways on achieving happiness in their life. There is no exact answer for this question because of reasons and circumstances. I also believe that a person’s happiness depends on him/herself. Every people has a unique personality and capabilities so does their happiness. There are instances that my family is my happiness but for some people their family is what gives them problems. The proceeding paragraphs will be my ways on how I achieve happiness.

Always wear your smile. It’s just simple, always start your day with a smile then everything will be okay. There is a tendency that when you smile at someone he/she will also smile back at you. Then voilà! You made another person’s day bright and happy. Always remember that a single smile can change the world.

Always think and work positively. By this you can have a happy and stress free life. Before I was really a negative thinker and I have a bad outlook in life. I always doubt everything including myself, especially when I am working with something. And when something is coming up my mind is only focusing on the darker side or the negative effects of it. But now I learned my lesson so I changed my outlook in life. I can say that it’s like a domino effect because when you think positive everything will tend to be positive too. All I can say is that I changed for the better.

Don’t miss out opportunities and chances. Grabbing opportunities really help you in achieving happiness. When there are chances take and try it because you’ll never know when it’ll come and be given to you again. Always try out new things don’t get yourself held back because it will only give you regrets. Don’t be afraid of the outcome, if you failed then so be it at least you tried your best. Based on my experience, I always regret that I didn’t rejoin the choir in our church. I feel so empty until now because I really miss singing in church and I already missed my chance. So it’s better not to have any regrets for you to achieve happiness.

Count your blessings instead of counting your problems. Always give thanks to the Lord for all your blessings in life. Don’t be too focused on the bad things instead be focused on the blessings that you receive every day. Because if you’ll be too focused on your problems you might missed out the blessings and gifts that is out there. I believe in this saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. This means that when life gives you problems or tasks accept it. Don’t take it negatively or don’t take it as a problem. Think of it as a challenge that has a pleasurable prize for you when you finished it. Lemons portray the problems in life because of its sour taste and lemonade portrays the sweet reward that you will received.

Know who you really are. Always ask yourself what do you really love to do? And what really makes you happy? Knowing oneself is very important in targeting your own needs. When you know your personality you can easily define what you really like and love to do, for you to be able to achieve real happiness. Because people tend to fake their own happiness. For example, when your friend loves to play volleyball but you really hated that sport, but because you really treasure your friendship you join her. As a result, you will just fake your happiness because you are with your friend bonding and playing together. But deep inside are you really happy? Is this what you really want? No. Because you would feel conscience and regret. Conscience for faking your happiness in front of your friend and regret because you didn’t try to approach and tell him/her what you really feel. Another example is when you join a club, when you don’t know yourself there is a possibility that you will have a hard time thinking what club to join. What if you rushed deciding and thinking things out? Then you’ll never experienced the true happiness because you didn’t think of your inner self, your personality.

Always forgive and forget about the past. Don’t hold grudge on someone and always forgive everyone. We’re only humans we always commit mistakes and everyone deserve a second chance. When you have hate and guilt inside your heart you’ll never have a happy and peaceful life. Then forget about the past, past is past. Just focus on the present and prepare for the future. Because you can never change what happened already, you can never make the wrong doings right. So it is better not to do it again. It is hard to live a life with issues and stuffs and because of it you’ll never achieve true happiness.

Watch funny and humorous videos on YouTube. This may sound funny but this is my simplest way on achieving happiness. Whenever I feel down I always go on YouTube and watch funny videos that can make me smile and take out the stress in me. I highly recommend this because it is 100% effective on me. I do feel good after watching funny videos or the videos that I really love. I also listen to music and sing my heart out because that is what happiness means to me. I know it is only a short term happiness but at least it makes me happy whenever I needed it. It’s like my happy pill that I really need to take everyday for me to feel good and joyful.

To summarize everything, the way on how you will achieve happiness depends on the person him/herself. Happiness can be achieved through many ways. It depends on your perspective, personality, needs/wants, circumstances and situations. Your happiness in life depends on how you make most out of your life. When you do believe that happiness is achievable then you can achieve it but when do not believe then so be it, every people’s opinion is important when it makes sense. It’s just an endless cycle of questions and opinions. The question “How can I achieve you (happiness)?” can only be answered by you, yourself. Always remember that life is always interesting when you’re happy.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” ― Frederick Keonig

#personalexperience

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