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quordleona03 · 7 months

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The MASH Board Game

I literally just heard there actually WAS one, but I have no idea what it's like. So, herewith MY ideas for the MASH board game.

First: the board! The board is (mostly) the 4077th base, with 20 locations on You can move from one location to any other location by throwing dice or if a move card is drawn. There are also four circles to which you can move if the right card is drawn: Tokyo, Seoul, Aid Station, and USA.

(1a) Pre-op / scrub room / X-Ray room

(1b) Post-op

(1c) Radar's/Klinger's office leading to Blake's/Potter's office

(2) Blake's/Potter's tent

(3) the Swamp

(4) Showers

(5) Latrine

(6) The Officers' Club

(7) (sometimes) the stage

(8) Father Mulcahy's tent

(9) Margaret Houlihan's tent

(10) The Nurses' tent

(21) VIP Tent

(11) Mess tent, / Kitchen

(12) basketball hoop

(13) barber tent

(14) laundry tent

(15a) supply tent

(15b) supply nissen hut

(16) Sophie's corral

(17) water tower

(18) MASH 4077 sign and barrier

(19) Rosie's Bar

(20) Shack

Second: the cards!

There are four sets of cards.

Character cards:

At the start of the game, you draw a character card. Each character has strengths, weaknesses, advantages, disadvantages. This is a "two to six people" game, so there will only ever be as many active characters as there are players. The twelve character cards to draw from are:

Henry Blake Frank Burns Margaret Houlihan B.J. Hunnicutt Kealani Kellye Max Klinger Trapper John McIntyre Francis Mulcahy Radar O'Reilly Hawkeye Pierce Sherman Potter Charles Emerson Winchester

The object of the game is to accumulate enough service points to be sent home while maintaining your health points above a specific level. If your health points fall below a specific level your character is sent to Seoul or Tokyo until time spent there has built up health points to a specific level. You do not get to participate in moves or actions during rounds when you are either Tokyo or Seoul. If you accumulate enough service points to go home but your health points are below a specific level your character dies on the way home.

Move cards:

At the start of the game, you get three "move" cards. Each move card can move you - and sometimes other characters - to the location of your choice (except for the four purple locale circles). You can play one "move" card during each round: if your "move" card moves other characters besides yourself, you can play it during someone else's turn. At the end of each round, you draw a fresh "move" card. Used move cards are pur face-down in a stack and may be reshuffled and a new draw pile made except for "move-once" cards, whicha are discarded.

The "move once" cards include periods of leave in Tokyo or Seoul, or periods of time at the Aid Station. Leave in Tokyo or Seoul earns you health points but loses service points; time at the aid station loses you health points but gains you service points.

Action cards:

When it's your turn (each player gets one turn a round) you take an action card from the pile and display it to the other players. The action card may affect you, another character, or all characters. An "incoming wounded" action card moves all characters to location (1) on the board immediately, except for anyone in a purple locale circle. You (and other players) earn or lose points (health or service points) depending on the action card. Used move cards are pur face-down in a stack and may be reshuffled and returned to the action unless they are "action-once" cards, when they are discarded. Used action cards are pur face-down in a stack and may be reshuffled and a new draw pile made except for "action-once" cards, which are discarded.

The "action once" cards include: being wounded: being killed: being promoted: being court-martialled: seeing a chicken on the bus.

Episode cards:

There are 251 episode cards. They are put in a face-down pile at the start of the game and each round begins by drawing a card and placing it face up where all players can see it. Each episode card contains an event to which the characters have to react to: they earn or lose points by reacting to it by moves or actions. The game ends when the Goodbye, Farewell, Amen card is drawn.

Third: the dice!

Obviously *handwave* there would be dice. No, I haven't figured out how they'd be used. But they'd be olive drab dice except for the D10, which would be a nice cheery red.

And lastly: How to win!

You win if you are still on the board when the GFA card is drawn and your healthpoints are enough to survive the trip home.

If you accumulate enough service points to get to he USA locale before the Goodbye Farewell Amen card is drawn, your character is now off the board, but the others mya play on without you. You can choose to draw another character card and rejoin the game. You can also do this if your character dies. We're nothing if not flexible.

#mash board game #mashposting #imaginary games

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angelt0rres · 2 years

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ok i KNOW the ask game said specify a character but i think all ur pronoun/sexuality takes on all the mash guys would be very cool :3

M*x im fucking love you thank you for the precious gift youve given me…

ALRIGHT M*A*S*H BOYS NIGHT PRIDE EDITION

Hawkeye- is malewife a gender nah but weirdly enough i think Hawk is a he/him but in a “Harry Styles wearing a skirt and nail polish in 2018 while everyone on the internet collectively lost their shit” way. He is, as if I even had to say it, a disaster bisexual.

Trapper- all around red blooded american man, he/him, not exactly disaster bisexual but bisexual with a sunglasses emoji infusion 😎. he WOULD find it funny/endearing if you used she/her pronouns like yes I am that bitch hello how may I help you.

B.J. HUNNICUT IS THE WHOLE FRUIT SALAD. Idk this is just my hc but I feel like he is definitely in a lavender marriage with Peg like they definitely are best friends and they do love eachother but holy fuck Bea Jay Hunnicut is a funny little mlm he/they I want to see him in pain

Frank Burns- he fucking sucks i dislike talking about him but I really wish they fleshed out the “secret repressed homosexual that hates himself” idea so yeah he/him passably straight on the outside little fruit tart on the inside

Charles Emerson Winchester III- Secret Repressed Homosexual that Hates Himself Prime. I am a gay Charles purist and I can and absolutely will die on this hill. who the fuck is Donna He/Him and sometimes the royal “we” just cause hes my special little guy and he can.

Henry Blake- his pronouns are they/them! actually though? I feel like Henry could pretty solidly slot into the non-binary identity. Is this based on fact? No! Its based entirely on vibes (which is arguably more accurate) unrelated but they would also wear the “Women want me fish fear me” hat without a trace of irony

Sherman Potter- now THERE is a trans man who wouldve fuckin thrown down at stonewall. he/him StraightGuy tm who just loves his wife and his horses Very Much. arent there a lot of stories of AFAB ppl dressing as men to join the army? also i hc all of his buds in Old Soldiers to be trans guys too.

Radar- whats that post that goes like “I think Radar is autistic with massive amounts of t boy swag” its really funny but I would like to tweak the narrative n this one. I think Radars mom has the type of rural homegrown wisdom where she thinks the severity of her morning sickness would determine the babies gender so she assumed Radar would be a girl so everyone got her little dresses and painted the Radars room pink but after Radar was born she just. raised her as a girl anyway? you cant exactly scrap a 1-10 year female wardrobe and buy new in Ottumwa so out of convenience he was raised as a girl but recognized as a boy. so i feel by the time he gets drafted in korea and has spent plenty of time performing as both genders he really doesnt care anymore and only prefers mens clothing because he personally finds it more comfortable. i think he would accept he/she/they pronouns and be demisexual.

Klinger- said you were a lesbian girl me too I really dont know how to explain is but Klinger is both a straight man and a lesbian at the same time. definitely he/they/she and demisexual like Radar… i feel like Klinger is your dads older sibling and Radar is your moms younger sibling. same vibes for sure but different auras.

Father Mulchahy- ive been waiting for this one (and another thank you to M*x for letting me on my soapbox) FATHER! MULCHAHY! IS! NOT! ASEXUAL! HE! TOOK! A VOW! OF! CHASTITY! TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS! Please dont feel like im coming for your neck specifically if this is your hc its totally valid to want ace representation and it would only feel natural to assign it to the character who doesnt have any relationships as a part of their backstory or characterization but I feel like only assigning Mulchahy with this role is not only some pretty upsetting ace tokenism but harmful to the sanctity of his faith and vows he took on as a priest. That being said! I think Mulchahy is bisexual (and would probably think Jesus was too) and I think you could address him with he/they pronouns but has a slight preference towards he.

Sidney Freedman- It seems like almost everyone in my post has come down with a case of the bisexual he/theys 🤒 but yeah besides Hawkeye I think Sidney would be the vocal about his identity? He could run circles around homophobes and transphobes who try to claim gay/transness to be a disease and I think his wife probably knows and supports his identity although they remain monogamous (Sidney is NOT a cheater >:( )

Thanks so much for the ask!! I hope I answered thouroughly enough and if I forgot anyone please let me know so I can hit myself really hard with a cast iron pan

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shenanigans-and-imagines · 3 years

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What do you think tipped each MASH member off that Doc and Pierce were head over heels for each other? Who figured it out first? Who figured it out last (besides them, ofc)?

In no particular order:

Trapper John

It admittedly takes Trapper a while to figure it out. First and foremost it’s early in their friendship so the deeper feelings aren’t quite there yet. He notices the way Hawkeye likes to tease Doc easily enough, but he just thinks it’s a little crush he’ll get over. However, after kissing Doc failed to get whatever was happening out of his system as well as the two of them accidentally getting married in Tokyo Trapper is less sure about his innocent crush theory, at least on Hawkeye’s end. He never gets a clear answer about Liz’s feelings before he leaves.

Debating if at some point, he confronts Liz about it. He basically tells her that he doesn’t know what or if she feels anything towards Hawkeye, but that’s his best friend and he doesn’t want to see him hurt, so be careful, will yah?

Henry Blake

Henry catches on pretty quick all things considered. The tell all for Hawkeye was the kissing incident followed by the man continuing to make moon eyes and O'Neil. As for him knowing Doc felt the same way, it would be a bit more subtle; how she watches after Hawkeye after a long day in OR, volunteering to take shifts when he needs the rest, that kind of thing. But admittedly, the dead give away was seeing the pair of them snuggled up together on an operating table after almost forty-eight hours on their feet. She didn't seem inclined to move any time soon.

Frank Burns

Frank never fully catches on. He gets that they flirt in OR and believes any rumors that there is something more going on, but full on head over heels in love? He just doesn't get it.

Radar O’Reilly

Radar is an emotionally intelligent young man and understands more than people realize. But, like Trapper, he's a faster study on Hawkeye and his feelings towards Doc than the other way around. Hawkeye wears his heart on his sleeve, and the fact he seems to be striking out with the nurses makes it clear in Radar that he's not really trying in the first place.

For Doc, it's different. He still has a hard time understanding women in general and Doc isn't exactly one to be vocal about her emotions, especially love. But he does notice how she changes when Hawkeye's ex Carlye shows up. He sees how she gets quiet and distant when Hawkeye has to leave camp. He also knows there are times when she can't seem to talk at all and Hawkeye is the only person who can get her to smile. It's a bit slower, but Radar notices.

Margaret Houlihan

Margaret realizes Liz is crazy about Hawkeye well before she can see the same in him. She notices how she looks at him, worries about him, laughs at his jokes and all the other little tells. The clincher was when they were in Tokyo and Liz drunk called Pierce to tell him she was in love with him. Margaret had to throw the phone out the window to keep her from doing it.

The trick is Hawkeye. Margaret can’t take him seriously and can’t see a man like him truly loving and caring for Liz the way she deserves. She changes her mind though after Hawkeye confesses his love for Liz and the absolutely devastating fall out of her rejection. That’s the moment that clues Margaret into the fact Hawkeye’s feelings are serious.

Father Mulcahy

First to figure it out. B.J. might be the Hawkeye x Doc club president, but Mulcahy is the founder.

He got an inkling something might happen between the two of them about a week after Liz entered camp. When she first arrived, Margaret was quick to sit with her in the mess hall, along with Frank. However, after Liz showed Frank up in surgery and more importantly had to open up one of his patients again to fix a mistake, he quickly distanced himself and brought Margaret with him. This left Liz alone, until Hawkeye walked over to her table like he was always supposed to be there and just started talking.

Mulcahy caught the looks between them. He knew something would happen and he was more than willing to wait.

Maxwell Klinger

Klinger is one of the people who gets the pool going in the first place on when Hawkeye and Doc are going to make it official. He's knows something was happening for a while. Unlike everyone else, he catches Doc's feelings first.

Hawkeye flirts with everyone, so its hard to know when he's being serious. But somebody like Doc getting in on schemes with Hawkeye and Trapper, getting married in Tokyo, not to mention all those late nights covering shifts; the woman clearly cares about him.

For Klinger, he didn't fully appreciate just how much Hawkeye cared about Doc until he stated noticing that while Hawkeye flirted, there was a sever lack of follow through. The man once notorious for getting with every nurse in a ten mile radius didn't seem to care how often he was striking out as his attention would inevitably drift back to the same woman over and over again. If that's not a man completely love struck, he doesn't know what is.

B.J. Hunnicutt

The only reason B.J. isn’t first is because Mulcahy met them first. From the moment they introduce themselves, B.J. just assumes they’re together. They talk to each other like they’re married. They worry about each other and joke and all the other things that point to them being together. It honestly came as a shock to him when he found out they weren't. He felt like he had been suckered.

Colonel Potter

Potter has been in his fair share of camps with there fair share of romantic entanglements, he's got a nose for this kind of thing. The fact the camp seems to have a running pool about Hawkeye and O'Neil gets him to catch on fast.

But, if he had to point to the moment he got the hint these two kids were crazy about each other it was probably the mistaken pregnancy incident. It's one thing to flirt in OR, it's another to be in a position where everyone in camp assumes not only are you pregnant, but they all know who the father is despite you not being pregnant in the first place. Then there is the fact that these two idiots can walk out of a situation like that, and still joke about it in the morning like nothing happened. To get to that point you either have to be married are just plain stupid.

Charles Winchester

Winchester may be entirely up his own ass, but at this point it is well established that Hawkeye and O'Neil has something going on. God knows the woman shows up in the Swamp enough she might as well take permanent residence. Like Frank though, it takes him a while to fully appreciate the depths of those feelings.

He had to bare witness to O'Neil's constant worrying when Hawkeye and Margaret went missing for a time. He realized something must had happened because after when she should have been relived, she avoided the Swamp entirely and Pierce spent a whole week moping. This was only compounded when she was shot and Winchester saw Pierce brought to a new low.

He may not outwardly care about whether or not they're in a relationship, but he'd have to be blind not to see the bond they share and how much they care for each other. He just hopes they don't confess it until the end of the war; he's got fifty dollars riding on it.

#hawkeye pierce #hawkeye pierce x oc #mash #m*a*s*h #trapper john #henry blake #radar o'reilly #maxwell klinger #frank burns #margaret houlihan #father mulcahy #b.j. hunnicutt #colonel potter #charles winchester #elizabeth o’neil #elizabeth doc o’neil #mash oc #m*a*s*h oc

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onekisstotakewithme · 2 years

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Duo bingo: Henry Blake and Maxwell Klinger!

- I love them romantically and platonically, they're hilarious together, and the aesthetic is always immaculate. Henry got that sweet sweet bi awakening when Tommy smooched him in Sometime You Hear the Bullet, and now he has a painfully obvious crush on Max.

#henry x max #m*a*s*h #henry blake #max klinger #exuberantocean #asks #duo bingo

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henry-blake-offishial · 2 years

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When are we going to talk about the jar of mayonnaise Henry kept in the drawer of his desk?

#sir Klinger wants to see you for another attempt of a section 8 #I bet he does #Where's my Henry x mayonnaise fanfiction #Henry Blake #Mash 4077

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gothpanda · 3 years

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Not So Different (M*A*S*H)

DESCRIPTION: Trapper becomes jealous of the new Major that replaced Frank.

SHIP: Hawkeye x Trapper

WORD COUNT: 4.1k

A/N: I posted this on Ao3 and thought ‘what the hell!”

WARNINGS: none

Clink. Hawkeye and Trapper smiled at each other from the front of their amateur distillery, sipping on the fresh gin that highly resembled if the liquor was bought back home. Trapper let out a relaxed sigh as he sat down on the wooden stool by his cot, the smile staying on his lips when he saw a completely empty corner in The Swamp. Only a cot and a desk ready for someone else to use, hopefully for no one at all as Hawkeye had an idea already in his mind.

“No more whining! No more stupid threats! And best of all I don’t have to waste my precious time looking at Ferret Face,” Trapper exclaimed, kicking his feet up on top of a crate. Hawkeye chuckled alongside Trapper, sitting right beside him as they sipped on their martinis. “Do you think Hot Lips will be P.O’d about Frank leaving when she gets back?”

Hawkeye starred out in thought, pursing out his lips. “Well, he didn’t call. Or leave a note. And he took the pearl necklace from her tent. So my prognosis would be ‘oh hell yes’ with a high level of colorful words,” Hawkeye said, grinning mischievously at Trapper.

“But of course she’ll just play it off as if nothing was between them because they were ‘oh so secretive’,” Trapper teased, tossing in a piece of gum to chew on.

“You’d think Margaret would’ve convinced Frank to quit the charade after asking me about my lack of flirtation with the nurses,” Hawkeye said, sipping on his martini, Trapper popping a bubble of strawberry gum.

“Nah Frank’s too stubborn and birdbrained to ever think about relaxing in this place. He has a ‘reputation’ to uphold,” Trapper said in a mocking tone.

Hawkeye stood up from the chair they had, walking over to sit on Trapper's cot with a certain look of remorse as he sipped his martini. He pursed his lips out, staring off ahead of him. Trapper was quick to notice Hawkeye's thoughts turning in his mind like a wheel, playfully kicking his foot with his own. He chuckled when Hawk jumped slightly, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “What’s with the sour face?”

“It’s not a sour face, it’s my thinking face. I figured you’d know by now. I kind of feel bad for Margaret about Frank's ditching. Don’t you?”

Trapper shrugged, “It’s Frank so I don’t feel anything for the doofus,” Hawkeye glaring at him, which made Trapper change his attitude for a moment. “Okay yeah what Frank did was pretty cruddy but Hot Lips isn’t going to show anything to anyone. At least maybe to you,”

“If you did that to me, I’d get Klinger’s uncle a bus pass to Boston,” Hawkeye warned with the best of his ability to sound intimidating, Trapper smiling at Hawkeye as he sat beside him. Trapper swung an arm around Hawk, nuzzling him closer to his side, Hawkeye leaning on the vacant shoulder.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head-,”

“Oh, you think I’m pretty?” Hawkeye interrupted, raising his eyebrows to Trapper, making him roll his eyes with a hint of affection.

“Yeah yeah. As I was saying, I wouldn’t just leave you hanging after being together for this long. What kind of man would I be?!”

“A ferret face! That’s the kind of man you would be, and we both know we don’t need any more of those! Please I couldn’t handle it!” Hawkeyes exclaims, martini glass in the air, putting on his best general impersonation. Trapper only chuckled at Hawkeye, enjoying the relaxation that was given. It had been slow in the 4077 with no wounded flying in on choppers or coming in on ambulances. Hawkeye taking this time to write to his father while Trapper did the same, but mainly asking Louise to tell his daughters how much he loves them. When Frank Burns finally got his orders to head back stateside, the whole camp celebrated with Hawkeye and Trapper as the main hostess for the occasion. Unfortunately- unless you were Frank- Margaret was on her three day R&R pass that she rarely took, Henry almost begging her to take it since she highly deserved it. If Hawkeye didn’t have a soft spot for Margaret in this situation, he’d be placing bets with everyone on her reaction, but alas he’s a man with a heart.

Attention! Attention! Captain Pierce and Captain McIntyre report to Colonel Blake’s office! Captain Pierce and Captain McIntyre report to Colonel Blake’s office! On the double!

Both Hawkeye and Trapper rolled their eyes in unison, groaning as they were both relaxed in Trapper’s cot. Hawkeye fell on his side on the cot, pretending he was asleep, hoping it would stall walking the few feet to Henry’s office.

“You know every time that speaker comes on I feel like I’m in grammar school,” Trapper complained, setting his glass down on the still as he got on his feet. Trapper looked down at the ‘sleeping’ Hawkeye, smirking at him. He reached for the man’s hand and laced their fingers, pulling Hawk’s arm only to tug his body an inch.

“Tell Henry I’m dead. I don’t want him to give any eulogies at my funeral. Only you and dad are allowed to speak,”

“Come on, Hawk. Maybe if we get whatever Henry wants out of the way, we can have fun before the poker game tonight,” Trapper coined to Hawkeye, smiling right as Hawkeye jumped on his feet, fixing his khaki jacket.

“Onward Dr. Trapper!” Hawkeye said, gripping onto Trapper's hand as he led the way out of The Swamp in high gear, bursting out the tent. Trapper tugged behind, knowing no one would give a second look if the two were holding hands out in daylight.

“Alright, General, I’ll make sure to have my best men for the job. Okay. Okay. Goodbye now. Radar! Where are Pierce and McIntyre-” Henry yelled outright as Radar came front to his desk, Hawkeye and Trapper in tow.

“Captain Pierce and Captain McIntyre, sir,” Radar reported looking right at his clipboard. Henry could never figure out the way Radar could sense things so fast as if he was reading everyone's mind. Hawkeye sat perched up on the edge of Henry’s desk, Trapper sitting beside him with his feet kicked up. “Anything else, Colonel Blake?” Radar asked, moving beside the Colonel.

“No, that is all Radar. Thank you,” Henry said, twirling a pen in his hands. “Pierce, why can’t you sit in a chair for once?”

“It’s not in my programming,” Hawkeye said, crossing his leg over the other to get more comfortable on the desk.

“Henry, why did you oh so disturb our relaxation time?” Trapper asked, popping his gum.

“I need you two to pick up Frank’s replacement tomorrow afternoon at Kimpo Air Base. And please just go to the Air Base and come back, no funny business,” Henry ordered in a plea. Hawkeye and Trapper exchanged looks of annoyance at the idea of a replacement Frank, hoping to have a few more days of no R.A wanna-be majors.

“Why can’t Radar go? What if wounded come while we’re away? Or worse what if I get my discharge while we’re gone?” Hawkeye asks.

“I ordered Radar to go pick up Major Houlihan from the airport. Unless you two want to explain to Margaret why Frank didn’t pick her up,” Henry said smiling at the captains who only looked at each other, almost communicating in silence.

“I already have the hard job, sirs. It shouldn’t be bad to pick up the new Major,” Radar explained with the usual sheepish smile he had.

“What’s this new major like? If he’s a Frank I’m leaving him on the side of the road,” Trapper asks.

“Awe come on, Trap, have a heart. If he’s anything like Frank it’s entertainment for the both of us once again,” Hawkeye said with a smile. From the top of a whole bunch of other files, Henry gave Hawkeye the new ‘Frank’s’ file, reading off the basic facts about him.

“Young. 6’3. Graduated from Stanford with a fraternity background. Looks like a blonde in his photo. Major Hunnicutt, I might be in love with you,” Hawkeye teased, Trapper cocking his head up at Hawk from the last of his words.

“Cool it, Pierce. Tomorrow at 12 o’clock sharp you two will pick up Major Hunnicutt. Is that understood?” Henry asked, placing a cigar between his lips.

“Sir yes sir!” Hawkeye yelled out, jumping off Henry’s desk with his version of a salute, his right hand close to face as if he were waving. Henry shook his head at Hawkeye as he stood up from his seat, walking out of his office, Radar following the Colonel.

“Thank you!” Henry said from the far distance. Trapper yanked the file out of Hawkeye’s hands, standing right next to him as they always did. Hawkeye pressed his chin on Trapper's shoulder, wrapping an arm loosely on the man’s waist. Trapper read along with the new man’s file, seeing how much of a better surgeon he sounded compared to Frank. Hopefully, this would mean no more needing to worry if someone was bringing the assembly line down. The meatball surgery they all did was something Trapper and Hawk was used to, but maybe this Major can be used to it as well. Then Trapper stared at the corner photo of Hunnicutt, understanding what Hawkeye was apparently attracted to (or not). Trapper had to admit Hunnicutt was good-looking but of course, wasn’t his type of man, he gravitated towards brunettes who were almost his height. Hunnicutt looked perfect for Hawk, noting his attraction to blondes. Trapper tossed the file onto Henry’s desk, popping his gum in somewhat of an annoyance, Hawk scrunching his brows at him.

“It’s a file, Trap, it won’t hurt you,” Hawkeye teased, Trapper glaring at him, lightly pushing Hawk’s arm off him as they left the office.

“I’m just checking to see if this Major’s even worth coming down here, something you should be doing. Remember chief surgeon?” Trapper said.

“Oh I remember but as chief, I can just tell my men to do all the paperwork for me. Or in my case my man,” Hawkeye said, pinching one of Trapper’s cheeks as they headed back to The Swamp. Trapper only swung an arm around Hawkeye’s shoulders.

“Don’t get cute, you still have a poker game to win for us,” Trapper says opening the thin wooden door for his chief.

The next day coming around, Trapper and Hawkeye drove their slowest to the airbase, singing songs outloud of joy and love. Hawkeye keeps his eyes on the road at all times. Trapper smiling at Hawkeye, he couldn’t help but kiss him on the cheek after being a safe distance from the checkpoint.

“Oh, you do love me!” Hawkeye exclaimed, giving off that smile that made Trap blush out of nowhere at times, eyeing him for a moment.

“Shut it and watch the road,” Trapper said, pushing Hawks' face straight back as he chuckled along.

When the two parked in front of the Kimpo Officer’s Club, Hawk looked around the circus of men to find the new Major and put the jeep in park, getting out of the jeep. Trapper jumped out to stretch his back to then see a man in a perfect first-day uniform by a pile of crates. He waved towards the man, pulling Hawkeye by the arm to step their way to Hunnicutt. Major Hunnicutt was the exact opposite of what both Hawk and Trapper thought he’d be. A major with a heart, who has a soft-spoken smile and goofy when saw the opportunity. Hunnicutt saluted the captains like regular army, only laughing when Hawk and Trap gave him their versions. His name is B.J and even though Hawk tried to get him to explain what B.J means, they only received more jokes.

“Seriously what does B.J stand for, Hunnicutt?” Trapper asks as the three walked back to camp from Rose’s after returning in the evening.

“Anything you want, Trapper!” B.J says with a broad smile, Hawkeye laughing along as the new Major stood in the middle of the couple. Trapper only shoved his hands in his khaki jacket, Hawkeye patting B.J on back with a grip on his shoulder.

“Careful B.J or I might take you up on your name being whatever I want,” Hawkeye said, still laughing alongside B.J while Trapper remained silent. B.J was oblivious to Trapper’s quietness towards him, believing this was just how the guy was. Hawkeye was the fun jokester while Trapper tagged along with Hawk for their schemes. It wasn’t entirely wrong but not the full truth either. As the three grew to talking and getting to know each other within weeks of B.J’s arrival, Trapper knew he could not not like the guy. B.J was a good surgeon who only was nervous on his first day of many wounded, but quickly got into high gear the next day. He had a good spirit about him that confused Margaret as to how B.J could ever be a major, noticing how he played along with Hawk well. Trapper and B.J had similar lives back stateside, married with a wife and daughter waiting but never cheated. Hawkeye didn’t quite notice the change of Trapper right away since he played nice, it wasn’t until Trapper stopped his frequent little touches that made Hawk question.

It was movie night at the 4077, almost everyone was in the mess tent turned movie theater. B.J joined Klinger to see his first movie of whatever Radar could get his hands on, leaving Hawk and Trapper alone in The Swamp.

“You’re cheating,” Hawkeye said, pulling out a card from the deck.

“I am not! How would you know if I’m cheating?” Trapper protested, frowning at him.

“Because I taught you everything you know. I also know because out of the three people in this tent, you’re the cheater!”

“Oh sorry I’m not like Major Angel over there who admits to playing bad,” Trapper said, tossing the cards on the makeshift desk of a crate, grabbing his martini glass.

Hawkeye chuckled. “Major Angel? Why that nickname? Certainly, you would take the chance to use his initials for a crappy nickname,”

“Because that’s how he acts. He acts like an angel compared to us… or at least me,”

“He doesn’t act like anything. B.J is just more of a light of sunshine who knows a joke. You should ease up on the guy, he’s nice to be around,” Hawkeye said, shuffling the cards for another game.

“What do you mean ease up on him? I’m good around him,”

Hawkeye shot a look at Trapper that showed nothing could get past him. “Trap the moment we picked him up you’ve given him the cold shoulder. You interacted more with Frank,”

“Well, maybe I’m ‘cold’ to him because you two talk nonstop and don’t let me get a word in. Ever thought about that?” Trapper said, retying the rope on his yellow robe.

“That’s never stopped you before. The main reason why I liked you so much, you never cared to interrupt me,”

“Liked?” Trapper asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hawkeye couldn’t help but roll his eyes all the way to the back of his brain. From the year and a half of being around Trapper, Hawkeye had never seen this side to him on any level. It was strange to Hawk because in his head, he thought B.J would be a great addition to their antics like when Spearchucker was still here.

“Like, Trap. The main reason why I like you so much. Seriously what’s with you?” Hawkeye asked, folding his arms against his chest. “And don’t say nothing because there’s been something up your ass for weeks!”

“I’m fine, Hawk. Let’s just play before he gets back,” Trapper mumbled, dealing cards between them.

Hawkeye shook his head. “If I knew any better I’d say you were jealous,” Hawkeye said under his breath, getting up his seat and walking over to the still. As the words came out of his mouth, Hawkeye turned on his heels with wide eyes and grinned at Trapper, seeing the blush on his cheeks even when looking away from him. “Oh! You are jealous! That’s it!” Hawkeye exclaimed with a sharp finger, sitting back in front of Trapper.

“I am not!” Trapper protested, the blush staining his face.

“Yes, you are! You’re jealous there’s someone else I get along with that isn’t just you! My, my, my, Trapper I never thought I’d see the day!” Hawkeye teased, his shit-eating grin growing bigger.

“I’m not jealous! Why would I need to be jealous of Major Angel over there?” Trapper said, trying his best not to yell.

“Well, then why haven’t you talked to him on your own? Or even stopped giving me little kisses that I like behind my ear? You know it hurts my feelings,” Hawkeye asked with a little pout, still playing along with the teasing.

Trapper shook his head as he gulped the rest of his martini. “So what if I’m jealous? You don’t think Hunnicutt might have a little crush on you?”

“Of course he would, have you seen how gorgeous I am?”

“That’s it! I’m done with this conversation!” Trapper said, rising up from his seat in one motion, grabbing his toiletries to hit the showers. Hawkeye immediately followed Trapper's steps, gracefully stopping him from leaving by his hand on Trapper’s arms. He was able to see how uncomfortable this conversation was for Trapper, telling himself to tone down the jokes.

“Hey hey hey, Trap, I’m only teasing. You don’t need to worry about B.J at all. He’s a married man if you don’t remember,”

“Yeah and so am I if you don’t remember,” Trapper muttered, grabbing the towel that hung from the nearby hook.

“That’s different! He doesn’t seem like the type to cheat on his beloved back stateside,”

Right as Trapper was about to say anything else, the crowds of people from the mess tent spilled out, all going back to their respective tents. “Forget it, Hawk,” Trapper said, leaving The Swamp and headed straight for the showers. Hawkeye slouched his shoulder as he stared at Trapper disappear in front of him. He dropped himself on his cot, covering his eyes with the thin blanket. He let out a long sigh, hearing the door open and close shortly after, peeking up to see B.J.

“Oh, you played cards without me?” B.J asked sitting on his cot and taking off his boots.

“Yeah it’s part of me and Trap’s bonding time,” Hawkeye mumbled, propping himself on one elbow.

“Aw that’s sweet. Peggy and I would play checkers every Friday with wine before she was pregnant with Erin. God, I miss those days,” B.J said with a soft smile as he reminisced of being stateside in California. Hawkeye smiled at the idea of the similarities, knowing Hawk and Trap could very well pass for a married couple if just one of them was a woman.

“You know Beej, did I ever tell you the time Trap and I threatened our old Major who wanted to report a soldier for loving someone of the same-sex?” Hawkeye asks, sitting crisscrossed on the cot.

“No, but sounds like something you two would do. I would’ve been on your guy's side for it all,” B.J said with a smile.

“Really? Why’s that?”

B.J shrugged, “Because everyone should find love in someone. If a man finds that love in another man, who am I to judge?”

Hawkeye smiled at B.J tenderly with affection at the relaxed feeling of the new Major. “Well in that case let me explain a little bit more in-depth on life at the dear old 4077. Or love life,” Hawkeye said, clearing his throat as he tried to inform B.J as fast as he could before Trapper came back from the showers.

“You got a minute, Trapper?” B.J asked behind Trapper by The OC’s bar. Trapper looked over his shoulder before finishing the rest of his whiskey, slamming the glass down loud. He sighed out right before coming face to face with Hunnicutt, pursing his lips out as if Trapper were thinking. “We could go outside for a smoke. I was able to get some nice cigars from Peg,”

“Lead the way, Major,” Trapper said, seeing Hawkeye eye both of them from the corner he was at with Margaret. When the two stood off to the side of the aluminum club, Trapper and B.J were silent amongst each other, only taking in puffs of smoke from the cigars. Trapper didn’t know what to say to B.J, only speaking to him in polite regard during the time in the O.R. After last night's spat with Hawk, Trapper just felt an embarrassment in it all, wanting to make himself small.

Finally, B.J cleared his throat to cut the silence. “Look, I wanted to talk because I think there might be a misunderstanding between us,” said B.J.

“Oh yeah? And what is that?” Trapper asked, letting out smoke into the air.

“I’m not in any way interested in Hawkeye, Trap,” B.J blurted out, causing Trapper to look at the man with wide eyes.

For a moment, Trapper thought about playing the clueless game but knew there was no point. B.J wasn’t like Frank by a long shot after all. “He told you?” B.J nodded. “Everything?”

“He said how you two have been together for a while, and you might have gotten jealous after I arrived. I didn’t mean to cause any tension,” B.J said with sincerity in his voice.

“Might is a soft way of putting it,” Trapper mumbled, puffing out another cloud of smoke. “And trust me you didn’t. It’s just, since being here it was always Hawk and me. You getting here and meshing so well, I didn’t know how to take it,”

“Well, I can understand. You found a major who’s almost exactly like you,” B.J said, pressing his lips together as Trapper looked at him in such confusion.

“You’ve…?” B.J nodded. “But you got married?”

“Because I really did fall in love with Peggy. That’s the difference between you and me, Trap. I played both fields for a while before I met my wife, and when I did, I knew she was the one for me. But that wasn’t for you, was it?” B.J asked, gripping his by the shoulder.

Trapper stepped on the small cigar bud. “I thought it was,” Trapper said, leaning against the cold wall, hands in pocket. “Then you get drafted to a country you’ve never been to and meet a brunette that takes your breath away but isn’t a nurse,”

B.J smiles at Trapper, patting him on the shoulder. “See, we’re not so different after all. I know exactly that feeling. So are we good?” B.J asks, sticking out a hand. Trapper accepts the handshake, pulling B.J in for a quick hug, patting him hard on the back. “Awe, I knew you were a softie!” B.J exclaimed as Trapper pushed him off, laughing as they both walked back into The Officers Club. As the two walked in, Trapper went straight to Hawkeye in the corner, seeing him all by himself.

“Care for a dance?” Trapper asked, extending out a hand with a short bow.

Hawkeye sipped on his martini. “Okay, but arm's length. We need space for Jesus,” Hawkeye teased, standing up to accept the hand of the man he cared about. Trapper was the one to lead this time, placing a soft hand on the small of Hawkeye’s back, Hawkeye having his hand on Trapper’s shoulder. “Everything good, Captain McIntryre?”

Trapper smiled down at Hawkeye. “In tip-top shape,” Trapper glanced down for a moment before seeing the bluest eyes he’s ever seen. “I’m sorry about being jealous towards you and B.J,”

“Don’t sweat it. It was actually quite attractive seeing you like that if I do say so myself,” Hawkeye smirked.

Trapper matched Hawk’s smirk, looking around to see if anyone was staring right at them. “Well, do you want to make up for lost times?” Trapper whispered, only getting an answer by Hawkeye leading them out in a swift and heading straight for the empty tent they called home. Trapper pulled Hawkeye for a kiss right as the thin door slammed shut, not being able to contain the smile on his lips at the same time. Everything falling back into its blissful place. Hawkeye enjoying every minute of him and Trapper, back in perfect harmony.

#MASH #tv: mash #mash 4077 #hawkeye #trapper #piercintyre #Bj Hunnicutt

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incorrectbandofbrothersquotes · 3 years

Text

You’re Still You - Chapter 1

Trapper John McIntyre x Hana Chigusa

Summary: A nurse with a complicated past is plucked from her peaceful life by the draft and dropped into the 4077th. After everything life has put her through already, how will she adjust to this new, shocking setting? Especially with the kinds of characters in this M*A*S*H unit?

Tag List: None so far, let me know if you’d like to be added!

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: So, I’ve decided to post my M*A*S*H fic on here. It’s with my OC, Hana Chigusa, and I hope you’ll enjoy reading her as much as I’m enjoying writing her! Dear Heart (Remastered) is still in the works, though, no worries there!

Warning(s): None :)

Read on AO3

Chapter 1 here we go!!!

Kimpo Airport was dry. The thin air in this part of Korea brought back memories that Hana would rather forget. Which explained her being at the bar now, a mouthful of warm vodka burning her throat, because even the chatter of the other personnel around her and the rumble of vehicles outside couldn’t drown out the reminders the heat and dust brought to the forefront of her brain.

She took another sip of her drink. Unfortunately, it wasn’t easing her bitterness either. Fresh out of nursing school, she had expected to get orders to serve in a hospital in Seoul or Tokyo. Somehow, she ended up being assigned to a MASH unit just miles from the front. They were throwing her right to the wolves.

War didn’t necessarily frighten her. But the Army certainly did. As the bar disappeared behind her eyelids, she vividly recalled her mother’s face when the draft notice came through. The tearful, horrified look. The disappointment in her voice when Hana said she would go.

“How can you join these people?” her mother questioned. “After everything they did to us?”

“Mama, you know I can’t refuse,” Hana returned. “You saw what happened to Shinji.”

“You think I’d forget that?” her mother challenged. “My own son! And now they want to take you too!”

“Even if they let me live, I’d be sent to prison,” Hana shot back, choking on the lump in her throat. “I cannot be locked up again, Mama! I won’t!”

Her mother’s lip trembled and she thrust the summons into Hana’s hand.

“You disgrace yourself serving them,” she spat.

Hana tried to blink away the tears, but they fell anyway. “Mama…”

Her mother turned her back on her, and that was the last they saw of each other.

“Lieutenant - uh - Cheeg - uh - nurse - um -”

A stammering corporal pulled Hana out of her thoughts. She opened her eyes and turned to the side, certain he was looking for her, judging by his frantic glances around and the struggle to pronounce the last name. That usually meant her.

“Chigusa?” she called irritably.

His eyes found hers before looking at the paper and then back at her face. He nodded.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said.

She took pity on him. He was just a kid, after all. Barely five feet tall with a knit cap topping off his baby face. His round glasses added to his wide-eyed, innocent look.

“That’s me,” she said, sliding out of her chair to stand on her feet. “Nurse Hana Chigusa.”

“But your paper says -”

“Hana’s fine.”

She hardly ever went by Hanako anymore. Hana - which she pronounced like the western name “Hannah” - allowed her to blend in with people outside her own community. That was another fight she had with her mother, more than once, but she couldn’t let herself go there now.

“And what’s your name, corporal?” she asked.

“Radar O’Reilly, ma’am,” he replied, saluting her first with his left hand before quickly correcting it to the right, only to drop the paperwork he carried.

She giggled, picking it up for him.

“At ease, Radar,” she said gently. “And for future reference, remain at ease around me. I’m not regular Army.”

“Oh, good,” he sighed, relaxing.

She handed him the paperwork and he took it gratefully.

“Are you ready to go, ma’am?” he asked.

“Sure,” she said. “I’ll just pay my tab.”

She dropped what was probably too much money on the counter beside her empty glass, but she didn’t care. She was ready to get where she was going. Then, she followed Radar outside where a jeep was waiting. In the passenger seat sat a man wearing a bright orange day dress and a wide brimmed straw hat, secured by pink ribbon around his chin. He had white gloves and white pleather shoes, which also matched his belt. The handbag in his lap was black satin with a pearl button clasp.

Hana blinked, not wanting to stare since it was rude, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He smiled kindly at her and wiggled his fingers.

“Hi there,” he said. “Max Klinger. Nice to meet you.”

“Hana,” she replied, still stunned, her eyes roving over him to make sure she was seeing him right. She stopped at his legs. “What no stockings? And with unshaved legs?”

He chuckled. “It’s my face or my legs, sweetheart, and I can’t cover my face.”

She smirked as he held out a hand. He helped her up into the jeep while Radar put her bags in beside her. Then he climbed behind the wheel.

“Say, Radar, are you old enough to drive?” she teased, and Klinger laughed.

“Oh, yeah,” Radar replied earnestly. “My uncle taught me when I was seven. I’m nineteen now, so I’ve had lots of practice.”

She looked at Klinger for confirmation, but he only shrugged. Then, Radar turned the engine and stepped on the gas, and they were off into the Korean countryside.

The further they got from the airport, the more stranded Hana felt. She was stuck here for an undetermined amount of time. To once again be bossed around by the Army. Only this time, she was a part of it.

“So, lieutenant…” Klinger trailed off, realizing she hadn’t told him her last name.

“Spare me the Army stuff, call me Hana,” she replied.

He smiled at that. “So, Hana, where are you from?”

“Newport Beach,” she told him. “It’s about forty minutes south of Los Angeles.”

“Sounds glamorous,” he returned. “I’m from Toledo, myself.”

“Is that where you learned how to dress?” she asked.

“I never dressed like this back home,” he admitted. “I just need the Army to think I’m crazy enough to get me back there.”

She chuckled. “I see. So, how far is the hospital?”

“Not far at all,” he said. “We’ll be there before you know it!”

Klinger wasn’t lying. Barely an hour had gone by before they were rolling up to the cluster of buildings that made up the hospital and camp. Once again, Hana remembered Heart Mountain, but pushed it down. She was not a prisoner here. Well, not technically. If there was anything to appreciate, it was the lack of barbed wire.

They were met at the jeep by a blonde woman whose sternness betrayed her beauty. Hana climbed out of the jeep - with help from Radar - and then the woman stuck out her hand.

“Lieutenant Chigusa, right?” she asked.

Hana nodded, shaking her hand. “That’s right. Hana is fine, though.”

“Not in the Army it’s not,” the woman returned. “I’m Major Houlihan, head nurse here at the 4077th.”

Hana resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Though she supposed it was about time she ran into someone like this. Houlihan ordered Radar and Klinger to drop off Hana’s bags at the nurses’ tent, so they could begin a tour of the facilities. Hana nodded to the corporals to give her permission, before following the major.

“I’ll take you to your quarters last so you can rest once you get there,” she said. “We’ll start with the mess tent.”

The mess tent was typical. The food even more so. Nasty Army stuff any regular person would turn their nose up at. But Hana had eaten worse. Major Houlihan next took her to the hospital and walked her through pre-op, the scrub room, the OR, and post-op, where there were just two patients at the moment.

“Don��t get too comfortable,” Major Houlihan warned. “We can have incoming casualties any minute, and you’ll need to be prepared.”

“I understand, Major,” Hana replied.

From the hospital, they moved on to the CO’s office, where Hana said hello again to Radar before meeting Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake. He was a friendly guy, who was definitely not regular Army. He wore a fishing vest with a matching hat loaded with hooks. And he was reclined in his chair, a glass of whiskey in his hand. He didn’t even care that Hana didn’t salute him, and he shook her hand warmly. She liked him right away.

They went to the officer’s club next, which was evidently misnamed. A couple enlisted men were coming out just as Houlihan and Hana were going in. Hana couldn’t help but notice the major’s disapproving glare, though the enlisted guys ignored it. The two women had barely crossed the threshold when two men descended upon them. Both were tall, one had a head of thick, dark hair and blue eyes, while the other had curly, sandy hair and hazel eyes. Both had smiles that indicated mischief.

“Hello, there,” said the dark haired one. “I’m Hawkeye. You must be new here.”

“Trapper,” the other said. “Can we get your name, sweetheart? Buy you a drink to welcome you to Korea?”

Hana glanced between them in disbelief. Did they really think themselves impressive in their mismatched Hawaiian shirts and goofy grins?

“Yes, I am new here,” Hana replied coolly. “And I’m not interested.”

“Not Interested, that’s unique,” said Hawkeye. “What is that, Italian?”

Major Houlihan rolled her eyes. “Ignore these two, Lieutenant. They’re two of our surgeons, Captain Pierce and Captain McIntyre. Unfortunately, they’re very talented or they’d be out of the Army for their disgraceful behavior.”

“I’m sure the patients - despite their gratitude at being alive - are as disgusted as you, Major,” Hana replied, voice dripping with bitterness and sarcasm.

Hawkeye and Trapper snickered.

Houlihan rankled at that. “Oh, don’t tell me you’re one of them!”

“I have no love for the Army, Major, make no mistake,” Hana said seriously. “I’m here because the alternative was prison. Now, are we done with this tour?”

“I’d say so,” Houlihan said, tossing her hair over her shoulder and storming out.

Hana breathed a sigh of relief and, ignoring the giggling surgeons, made a beeline for the bar, hoping to leave Pierce and McIntyre behind her as well. But she wasn’t that lucky. The pair followed her and took seats on either side of her. She bit back a groan. Being “fresh meat” wasn’t her style. And she didn’t care for the attention of men. At least, not here.

“Sure we can’t get you that drink, Not Interested?” Hawkeye pressed. “It’s on the Army.”

She smirked and pointedly ignored him. She could see this guy thrived on attention - good or bad - so giving it to him was the last thing she would do. She looked at the bartender.

“Vodka soda, please,” she said.

He got right to work.

Trapper tapped her on the shoulder and she spared him a glance.

“Don’t you want to make friends here?” he asked. “Could be a long war.”

“Your eyes have been on my chest since I walked in, forgive me if I don’t believe friendship is what’s on your mind,” she returned.

The bartender placed her drink in front of her. In Korean, she thanked him and asked his name. He appeared surprised to be addressed by someone fluent, and happily told her his name was Kwang. She offered a slight bow of her head, he bowed back, and then, beaming, starting polishing glasses.

“You speak the local?” Trapper questioned. “Where’d you learn that?”

“I learned as a child, we had Korean neighbors,” she said.

“That’ll be helpful,” Hawkeye said. “We end up with a lot of Korean casualties here.”

She blinked. “Really?”

He nodded solemnly. It was the first honest expression she’d seen from him.

“A lot of locals end up in the wrong place at the wrong time,” he said.

“So do a lot of North Koreans,” Trapper added.

Hana’s eyes widened as she looked at him. “You mean, you treat the enemy?”

He nodded. “Of course. We’re doctors.”

Hana almost smiled. If it weren’t such a gruesome subject, she would have. She looked between these two men whose first impression had so turned her off. What a front they put up. She wondered why they hid their decency. The fact remained that it existed, and she wanted to acknowledge it.

“Hana Chigusa,” she said.

“What?” Trapper asked.

“My name,” she said. “It’s Hana Chigusa.”

He grinned. “Nice to meet you.”

“So, Chigusa,” Hawkeye said. “That’s definitely not Italian.”

She chuckled. “I’m half Japanese.”

They remained at the bar a while, and they got to know her better. She told them about growing up in Newport Beach and her mother’s tea shop there. She told them she went to nursing school at Columbia in New York City, just to experience something new. She told them she was drafted, like them, and came reluctantly to Korea.

“So, is the surgery really intense here?” she wondered.

She was pretty nervous. She only had infrequent practical experience post-nursing school. Though, she had graduated at the top of her class.

Hawkeye shrugged. “It’s meatball surgery mostly.”

“Pretty basic extraction of junk,” Trapper said. “Things get more complicated if a limb’s gotta be removed or something, but we just do whatever we can to keep them alive.”

Hana nodded. It sounded about as brutal as she expected. She hoped she’d be able to endure what she would witness. She wondered if she would end up more like Trapper and Hawkeye, with a façade to cover up the ugliness of it all. Then again, she realized she already had one up. What was one more?

Suddenly, a voice came over the loudspeaker.

“Attention!” it called. “Attention all personnel! Incoming wounded! All personnel report to the OR!”

Hana, Hawkeye, and Trapper all got to their feet. She swallowed. This was the moment to prove herself to her new co-workers. She pushed the nerves away.

“Scared?” Trapper asked.

She looked him in the eye with every ounce of confidence she had.

“Nothing scares me anymore,” she told him.

Her answer perplexed him, but he didn’t have time to analyze it. All three of them jogged out of the bar and across the camp to the hospital.

#m*a*s*h #trapper john mcintyre #m*a*s*h fic #hanako chigusa #you're still you series

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jbhoneydew · 4 years

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M*A*S*H Poll Results!

Thanks everyone who voted. There were 130 valid responses so the percentages are based on how many responses voted for X person. Sorted by least to most votes:

Hawkeye Pierce - 80 votes (61.5%)

BJ Hunnicutt - 78 votes (60%)

Radar O’Reilly - 65 votes (50%)

Max Klinger - 57 votes (43.8%)

Margaret Houlihan - 56 votes (43.1%)

Father Mulcahy - 53 votes (40.8%)

Sidney Freedman - 51 votes (39.2%)

Nurse Kellye - 45 votes (34.6%)

Henry Blake - 44 votes (33.8%)

Trapper John McIntyre - 35 votes (26.9%)

Charles Emerson Winchester III - 30 votes (23.1%)

Sherman Potter - 29 votes (22.3%)

Nurse Ginger Bayliss - 24 votes (18.5%)

Igor Straminsky - 12 votes (9.2%)

Nurse Margie Cutler - 9 votes (6.9%)

Oliver Jones - 7 votes (5.4%)

Frank Burns - 6 votes (4.6%)

Ugly John Black - 5 votes (3.8%)

Sophie The Horse - 3 votes (2.3%)

Captain Tuttle - 2 votes (1.5%)

Colonel Flagg - 2 votes (1.5%)

Luther Rizzo - 2 votes (1.5%)

Nurse Sheila Anderson - 1 vote (0.77%)

Nurse Edwina - 1 vote (0.77%)

Tommy Gillis - 1 vote (0.77%)

5 O Clock Charlie: 1 (0.77%)

#mash poll #the write in answers are awesome

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allbestnet · 6 years

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Crimson Campaign, The by McClellan, Brian (Appears on 3 Lists)

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Goodhouse by Marshall, Peyton (Appears on 3 Lists)

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Sleep Donation by Russell, Karen (Appears on 3 Lists)

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Veil of the Deserters by Salyards, Jeff (Appears on 3 Lists)

We Are All Completely Fine by Gregory, Daryl (Appears on 3 Lists)

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You can view the rest on https://www.bookadvice.co/the-greatest-books-speculative-fiction.html

#speculative #fiction #scifi #science fiction #books

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shenanigans-and-imagines · 3 years

Note

How does the rest of the 4077 feel/react about Elizabeth and Hawkeye being together?? Even Trapper and Henry after they leave what would their reactions be??

I love this! Let’s do it!

In no particular order:

B.J. Hunnicutt

Practically doing hand stands. He’s been wanting them to get together every since he realized they weren’t. The moment Hawkeye and Liz break the news, he just tells Hawkeye he’s going to be his best man.

Margaret Houlihan

Accepts it well enough because for some unknown reason Hawkeye, of all men, makes Liz happy. But, he’s on thin fucking ice. One slip, and she’ll strangle him in his sleep.

Charles Winchester

Says he doesn’t care, but he’s mostly just sore he lost the bet. He thought it’d take them until the end of the war. Just so long as they keep the saccharin sentiment behind closed doors, it doesn’t effect him one way or another.

Maxwell Klinger

Happy as a clam. He didn’t make as much money on the pool, (he thought they’d get together sooner), but being the camp bookie, he still takes a percentage.

Father Mulcahy

Already has their wedding vows saved in his note book. Didn’t make much money on the pool, but is still happy for them; love is a wonderful thing and to find it in a place of such destruction is nothing short of a miracle.

Colonel Potter

Is the one who won the camp pool. He’s certainly happy for them and wishes them the best. He also will sit Hawkeye down and tell him in no uncertain terms that O’Neil is a mighty fine young lady and that if Hawkeye screws the pooch on this one, he’s about the dumbest man he’s ever known.

Radar O’Reilly

Happy, but feels a little weird about it. It’s like seeing your big brother, who you idealize get together with your baby sitter. Sure, it makes sense, but it also feels a little awkward. He’s also practically the only one in camp who gives Liz a talking to about Hawkeye. He saw how devastated Hawkeye was when she first rejected him and knows that’s she’s just as capable of hurting Hawkeye as he is of hurting her. He might not say it in the most articulate way, but he gets his point across.

Bonus:

Trapper McIntyre

Is a little taken aback. Sure he likes Liz, a little wound tight for his taste, but nothing to complain about. It more just surprises him that Hawkeye would even want to settle down with just one girl. He knew Hawkeye started to have a little crush on her, but he didn’t think it would get that far. He’s happy for him, but it would take him a little longer to adjust. If he were still around, he would also give Liz the, “you break my buddy’s heart, there will be consequences, I haven’t thought of them yet, but it will happen”.

Henry Blake

Not nearly as surprised as Trapper, but it does take him a minute to realize this is actually happening. He’d call Hawkeye into his office to basically ask his intentions towards Liz. He does like her, but mostly he doesn’t want Hawkeye doing something stupid causing one of them to transfer if things get too awkward. They’re both some of the best surgeons he’s know and doesn’t want to lose either of them. But once he gets the message that they’re both 100% serious, he lets it go and wishes them luck.

#mash #m*a*s*h #hawkeye pierce #hawkeye pierce x oc #elizabeth o’neil #elizabeth doc o’neil #o’pierce #b.j. hunnicutt #margaret houlihan #charles winchester #max klinger #father mulcahy #colonel potter #radar o’reilly #trapper john #trapper mcintyre #colonel blake #mash oc #m*a*s*h oc

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shenanigans-and-imagines · 4 years

Text

What’s Up Doc?: Part 1

AO3 Link

Hawkeye Pierce x OC (eventually), Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers

Summary: Captain O’Neil’s life has never been what one would call normal. Born to an affluent family, she was suppose to marry rich and have two and a half kids by the time she was twenty five. Instead, she went to med school, became an army nurse in one war and is now set to be a doctor in another. But the 4077th MASH unit has a habit of making people’s lives just a little crazier.

A/N: Consider this the first part of an episode before the first commercial break. And please, COMMENT AND REBLOG IF YOU LIKE THIS! I promise we’re going to get more of Liz in the later chapters.

Word Count: 3.5K

Just another day at the good ol’ 4077th M.A.S.H. unit. Which was to say, something was going seriously wrong and it wasn’t even noon.

Colonel Henry Blake had long since accepted this would be the norm since his first week as commanding officer. But that didn’t make only being able to catch every other word the General was saying any less frustrating.

“What’s that General,” he yelled into the phone. “I can’t quite hear you.”

“I--you--getting--Captain--”

The line went dead again.

“Radar!” Henry called. “There’s got to be a way to fix the connection.”

“No good, sir,” the corporal answered. “They’ve only got a few lines up because of the air raid.”

“Well can’t they hold the air raid until after I finish this call?”

“Colonel Blake?”

“Still here sir,” Henry replied. “Now can you give it to me one more time?”

“I said--sending--surgeon--O’Neil.”

Henry nodded still not getting it and turned to Radar. “You get that?”

“Yes, sir. The general is sending us a new surgeon, Captain O’Neil.”

“Well why didn’t he just say that,” Henry commented before turning back to the phone. “Boy howdy, sir! I can’t tell you how much we’d appreciate an extra pair of hands around here. Radar, have his papers come in?”

“Not yet sir. Mail’s been backed up--”

“Because of the raid,” they finished together.

“Of course it has,” Henry mumbled.

“Good--nurse--France--Drexel.”

“What?”

“General says the captain’s got a good service record,” Radar translated. “Served in France as a nurse in World War II and just graduated from Drexel.”

“Nurse?” Henry questioned before addressing Radar. “Should Klinger be worried?”

Radar gave something halfway between a shake of the head no and a noncommittal shrug, leaving the vague impression of “who’s to say”.

Henry waved him off and turned back to the receiver. “Listen General, I really can’t thank you enough. This O’Neil fella sounds exactly like the kind of guy we need.”

“Papers--tomorrow--nurses--.”

Henry shot Radar another look.

“He’ll be pulling in tomorrow with all the necessary papers,” Radar said. “And the general is also sending in some new nurses to round it off.”

“Tomorrow?” Henry said into the receiver. “Sir, I appreciate it, but we can’t...hello? Hello?”

But it was no use. The line was dead, for good this time.

“Damn it,” he cursed. There was nothing to be done. He let out a breath and allowed himself to chew on his cigar. “Well we best start preparing. Better--”

“Tell Major Houlihan about clearing space in the nurse’s tent and get a new cot for the Swamp,” he and Radar said together with Radar finishing with a “Yes, sir.”

“And, get Pierce, Burns, and McIntyre in here.” Henry added.

“Captains Pierce, McIntyre and Major Burns here to see you sir,” Radar replied.

“Well let them know it can wait, I have something important to tell them.”

“What’s up Henry,” Hawkeye asked as he and the two other doctors entered.

“Some actual good news for once,” Henry said, “command is finally allowing us to bring in another surgeon.”

“Hey, that’s terrific,” McIntyre exclaimed, making himself comfortable on the side of Henry’s desk.

“Is that really necessary,” Burns jumped in. “Surely the army doesn’t need to waste more man power.”

“Speak for yourself Frank,” Hawkeye said. “Personally, I’d like to have four surgeons here instead of three surgeons and a horse doctor.”

Frank let out a string indignant scoffs and mumbles to be promptly ignored by everyone.

“What unit are they coming from,” Trapper asked.

“No unit, straight from the states. General said he just graduated from Drexel.”

“Graduated?” Hawkeye said. The relieved expression shifted into obvious frustration. “Henry, they can’t send us a kid that green. We have wounded here, not cadavers.”

“At least before Frank gets to them,” Trapper added.

“Oh, don’t get huffy,” Henry protested. “For your information he served as a nurse in the last war.”

“Nurse? What’s wrong? Kid got flat feet and couldn’t join up?” Trapper asked.

“Was the kid actually a kid then?” Hawkeye continued.

“I don’t know,” Henry cut in. “All I know is what the general told me. Our new doctor might not be as experienced with a knife, but they’ve been around enough meatball surgery not to get squeamish and that’s more than what we can ask for in any other doctor we might get our way. In the meantime, Hawkeye, I’m assigning you to look after him and show him the ropes.”

“Me?”

“Colonel, now I really must protest,” Burns stepped in. “I am the ranking officer here. Do you really want this new recruit to be contaminated by these two...degenerates?”

“And what would you suggest Frank?” Henry asked, his exhaustion from being in the same room was Burns for more than a minute was becoming obvious.

“Well…” Frank said, making a point to stand a little straighter. “Let me be his mentor. I have the most experience, not to mention the military discipline a new recruit should aspire too.”

“All the more reason for us to look after him,” Hawkeye said. “Don’t worry about it Henry. Trapper and I will look after the kid.”

“He’ll be the son we’ve never had.”

“I don’t care what he is to you, so long as you don’t scare him off,” Henry said. “He’ll be arriving here tomorrow along with some new nurses. So, try not to get too distracted.”

“What do you take us for?” Hawkeye asked in mock offense. “We can break in the new kid and the new nurses at the same time.”

Trapper gave a crooked smile. “Provided he’s game.”

“Oh, that’s enough filth from the both of you,” Burns snapped.

“Shakespeare couldn’t have said it better,” Hawkeye replied dryly. “But on the subject of filth, with the flurry of new potential bunk mates coming in, it might be in our best interest to clear out some of our own.”

“Ah ma, do I have to?” Trapper protested.

“Now Trapper, if you don’t clean your room you won’t be allowed to play with your new toys.”

The two men left together with Burns not far behind, huffing and puffing all the way.

Henry shrugged it off, feeling a sudden wave of sympathy for the new recruit. The poor soul had no idea what he was in for.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Trapper and Hawkeye made quick work of the Swamp. Or at least as much quick work as they were willing to put in. The new cot was placed in the back-corner right between McIntyre and Burns. It left little room for what the new captain might bring save maybe a tiny side table and a pencil.

The two of them made a point to clear a path to the bed and picked up their clothes just enough to see most of the floor. But, that was as far as they got before calling it good enough and breaking out a deck of cards.

“I don’t see how anyone can live under these conditions,” Burns lamented into his shaving mirror.

“You’re still breathing, aren’t you Frank,” Trapper shot back.

“I mean, I can,” Burns covered. “I’m made of stronger stuff. But this new Captain. He’s been living in a dorm room for the past how many years. He’s going to need help transitioning.”

“Henry said the kid was a nurse in France,” Hawkeye countered. “Between the European front and a medical dorm, Korea is going to look like a penthouse on Fifth Avenue.”

“Exactly,” Trapper affirmed. “We have everything a new recruit could want. Twenty-minute old gin, a family of rats living under his bed, and probably the same rations he had back in 1944.”

“Home sweet home.”

Burns scoffed, placing the razor to his face. “Really. No respect for volunteers.”

“What makes you think O’Neil is a volunteer?” Trapper asked.

“Oh, just a guess,” Burns said, in that passive aggressive, holier-than-thou tone that made Hawkeye’s teeth grind. “Someone like Captain O’Neil volunteers for his country in one war, it only makes sense he would for the next one. I bet he probably got his doctorate for just such a purpose.”

“Only if he got the sense knocked out of him in his first round,” Hawkeye said, dryly.

“Oh pish posh,” Burns spat. “I will not be having you ingrates drag Captain O’Neil’s good name through the mud.”

“Frank, we don’t even know enough of his name to drag it,” Hawkeye said. “Let’s just hold off the expectations until we actually meet the guy.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Trapper said clinking his martini glass with Hawkeye’s. However, he never got to finish the toast as the all too familiar sound of helicopters roared overhead.

“Attention all personnel. In coming wounded.”

The two doctors let out a sigh putting down their glasses and slapping their cards on the table.

“Well at least when the good doctor pulls in we’ll be all set for a proper 4077 greeting,” Hawkeye said. “Blood stained and exhausted.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The night in O.R. was rough. But then again, that was like saying the sky is blue or war is hell. A classic cliché that one might find redundant, but still important to remind yourself of every now and again. Because if one day the sky isn’t blue or war isn’t hell, something is either wrong with the world or with you.

The night in O.R. was rough and after fourteen hours of standing every doctor and nurse was ready to hit the hay. All thoughts lingered on a drink and a pillow and none were given to the new recruits coming around the bend. Except, of course, for the thoughts of one Corporal O’Reilly.

Radar stood with a clipboard in hand, waiting patiently as the two jeeps worth of new personnel came over the hill. He kept his eye out, looking for any male face he could find. He didn’t know who he was looking for, but so long as they had at least a five o’clock shadow, they’d stand out over the sea of smooth face nurses.

The jeeps came to a stop and ten women piled out, chattering all the while.

“All new nurses please report to Major Houlihan,” Radar called. “She’ll be in the mess tent just down that way.”

There was a general murmur of thanks as the wave of women washed by. But, in a rare moment, Radar couldn’t care less. He had hoped them leaving would somehow reveal a male person besides the driver hiding somewhere in either back seat, but no such luck.

“Anyone else,” he asked one of the drivers hopefully.

“Nobody here but us chickens,” the driver responded. “I do have some mail though. We picked it up as we were coming in.”

“Oh thanks,” Radar said sounding a little more disappointed than he meant to. Mail was usually something he rather enjoyed, but it was a poor substitute for a surgeon.

“Excuse me,” a woman’s voice asked followed by a tap on the shoulder.

Radar turned and was mildly surprised when he had to look a little down. She was older than him, mostly likely in her thirties with a captain’s insignia on her hat and shoulders. He stood to straighter attention at the sight.

“Could you direct me to Colonel Blake’s office,” she asked, in a polite but undeniably army-like way.

“Oh, yes ma’am,” Radar said. “Just up past the O.R. You can’t miss it.”

“Thank you.”

She turned to leave.

“But I wouldn’t go in there right now ma’am,” he said quickly. “He was in surgery all last night. You might need to give him a minute.”

Her expression conveyed sympathy, but how Radar wasn’t sure. Her facial features hadn’t moved an inch. He might have just been projecting.

“Of course. Could you direct me to the barracks then?”

Radar nodded and pointed in the vague direction of the nurses quarters.

She gave him a small smile, nodded and went on her way.

Radar only idly watched her go. She seemed like someone either Hawkeye or Trapper would go for, but he couldn’t imagine either of them getting too far. She was regular army if ever he saw one, besides Major Houlihan of course.

He shook away the thought and went back to the problem at hand.

No doctor.

He let out a sigh. He’d have to inform Colonel Blake first. Maybe there was something in the mail to lighten the mood.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Radar found Colonel Blake exactly where he expected him too; draped over his desk, still in surgical garb with a glass of something brown beside him and sound asleep.

“Colonel Blake, sir,” he said, gently.

The man shot up, still disoriented, but stable enough all things considered.

“Yes, what is it Radar?”

“Mail sir. Came in with the new personnel.”

“Oh, great,” Colonel Blake said, sounding just a little revealed. “Everyone get off okay?”

“Yes, sir. All the nurses went to report to Major Houlihan.”

“Very good, and what about the new doctor.”

Radar felt his throat tighten. “Sir?”

“The new surgeon,” Henry clarified. “Doctor O’Neil. Everything go off alright with him?”

“Oh yeah,” Radar said. His heart rate started to spike and his voice got shaky. “Doctor O’Neil. Well ah, the thing is, sir…” He let out a nervous laugh. “He’s not here.”

“What?” Henry said, his eyes coming into sudden focus. “What do you mean not here?”

“I mean I didn’t see him sir.” Radar shrugged, not knowing what else to do. “He wasn’t on the jeep.”

“How was he not on the jeep? The general told us he would be there.”

“Maybe we misheard something sir.”

Henry let out a frustrated grunt, getting to his feet. “Just our luck. For all we know he fell out the back when no one was looking.”

“I rather doubt that sir,” Radar said, lightly.

The Colonel shot him a look telling him, in no uncertain terms, he wasn’t in the mood.

Radar got the message loud and clear. In a desperate plea, he started to shuffle through the papers in the mail bag for something, anything to turn this whole thing around.

“Oh!” he said. “Look here, sir. It looks like we’ve got his file at least.”

“Great,” Henry said sardonically, taking the file. “ I’ll send his file into surgery and give everyone a paper cut.”

He opened the file and immediately closed it in annoyance.

“Christ, it’s not even him,” Henry huffed. “This must be one of the nurses files.”

He shoved the file back into Radar’s chest. The corporal caught it, deciding to take a peak into it himself.

“No, this is it sir. See?” He scurried over to Henry and pointed to the top of the page. “Captain O’Neil.”

“Yes, but as you can see here Radar, her name is Elizabeth.”

“I am seeing it sir. Captain Doctor Elizabeth Joanna O’Neil. Graduated Drexel University. Residency Pennsylvania Hospital. Former U.S. Army Nurse stationed in France.”

Henry snatched back the file. Radar did his best to keep up, standing on his toes to look over the Colonel’s arm.

Henry mumbled to himself as he read each page over and over and over again, until finally he had to admit defeat.

“That’s our Doc.”

“Oh!” Radar exclaimed. “I know her!”

“What?”

Radar fervently pointed to the picture on the top left corner. “She was on the jeep. She was going to report to you, but I said you were asleep and so she asked me where the barracks were.”

“She must have been looking for the new captain’s quarters,” Henry said, smiling in relief. But, it didn’t last long. Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, his expression turned to sudden fear.

“Radar. Find her and get her here before she meets McIntyre and Pierce.”

“Why shouldn’t she--”

Henry shot Radar a look and then he understood.

“Yes, sir!” he said, running out the door as fast as his legs could carry him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hawkeye plopped himself down on the cot determined never to move again. He was out of his surgical garb in his favorite red robe with a glass of spirits in his hand. This was as good as it was going to get, at least until he caught some shut eye.

“How are you still standing,” he asked, observing his friend examining himself in the mirror.

“New nurses just pulled in,” Trapper answered easily. “How are you not standing?”

“I would, but my back decided to commit mutiny.”

It was then the door of the Swamp swung open and Hawkeye knew it was going to be a while before he got any peace of mind.

“Something eating you Frank,” Hawkeye asked the more than usual flustered man.

“Like you care,” Burns snapped back.

“That’s true.”

“Well if you must know, Captain O’Neil is missing.”

Hawkeye straightened, if only slightly. This information at least warranted a one elbow sit up. “Missing?”

Frank nodded. “Oh yeah, new personnel has arrived and nobody’s seen him.”

“Maybe he missed his flight,” Trapper offered.

“Or maybe he works faster than you,” Hawkeye added, shooting a look at Trapper.

“Well either way, you have to find him,” Frank said, distressed. “The Colonel assigned you to watch after him after all.”

“You make a good point Frank,” Trapper said.

“I do?”

“Sure. We’ll search high and low. I’ll start with the nurses tent.”

“Good idea,” Hawkeye added. “Maybe he’s behind my eyelids.”

Frank looked like he was going to say something indignant when a knock came at the door.

“We’re closed!” Hawkeye called. But no dice. The door scraped open.

“Pardon me, sirs,” a woman asked. “I’m looking for the new doctor’s quarters.”

Hawkeye immediately straightened up, fully up right this time.

Lovely as the first word that came to mind, which felt odd to say, even if it was just in his head. Lovely was not a word he tossed around lightly. She had a gentle face, big brown eyes, button nose and curly chestnut hair. Her frame was slight with subtle curves accentuated on a body much shorter than his usual type, but that was neither here nor there. Really, what else could he think but, lovely.

“You found it,” he answered, not skipping a beat.

She glanced at him suspiciously before taking a cursory glance around the space. A frown appeared at the dirty laundry, garbage, and general mayhem. Her eye lingered on the empty cot only to be immediately drawn to the distillery in the corner. That replaced the frown with mild surprise.

Hawkeye wondered idly if there was some problem with her cheek muscles. None of her expressions strained themselves more than a few centimeters.

“There must be some mistake,” she said.

“No, no mistake,” Hawkeye said, getting to his feet. “It’s cleaner than usual, but that won’t last long once the new doctor gets here.”

He smiled down at her. “Don’t tell me you’re this O’Neil character’s personal nurse. I’m liable to get jealous.”

“Hardly,” she said, tightly. “Doctor?”

“Pierce. This is McIntyre and the malpractice lawsuit in a military uniform is Burns.”

“That’s Major to you,” Frank said, sharply.

“Oh I’m sorry, Major Malpractice Lawsuit.”

“It’s an absolute pleasure to meet you,” McIntyre stepped in, taking her hand as he did so. “Lieutenant?”

“Captain,” she corrected, pointing to the insignia on her jacket for emphasis. “O’Neil.”

“Just my luck, the new doctor’s married,” Trapper mumbled to no one in particular.

“Like that’s stopped you,” Hawkeye commented.

“I assure you I’m not,” O’Neil said, pulling her hand away. “Clearly there has been some miscommunication. I am Doctor Elizabeth O’Neil, newly transferred surgeon to the 4077th M*A*S*H unit.”

Hawkeye blinked.

O’Neil glanced between the three men expectantly. “This is the 4077th, isn’t it?”

He turned to Trapper who’s expression matched his own; utter confusion.

“No you’re in the right place,” Hawkeye managed.

“We just…” Trapper started.

“They didn’t tell us…”

O’Neil raised a hand as a signal to stop. “It’s quite alright. I understand the confusion and I’m sure we can resolve this matter quickly. If one of you can just direct me to Colonel Blake’s office, I’ll ask him about alternative living arrangements.”

“Well now, there’s no need to be hasty,” Hawkeye said.

“Yeah, we’re all doctors here,” McIntyre chimed in.

“It wouldn’t be right for us to toss you out on your ear just because you’re a woman.”

“Down right ungentlemanlike.”

She gave them an appeasing smile. “That’s very kind of you--”

“It is, isn’t it.”

“We’re very friendly here.”

“But, I would still prefer to speak with the Colonel,” she said, firmly.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Burns stepped in. “Allow me to escort you, miss.”

“Doctor,” she corrected.

“What?”

“My name is Doctor O’Neil, or Captain, if you prefer. Not miss.”

Burns stopped, obviously flustered. His instinct to reprimand a subordinate for taking any kind of tone with him and his own worship of military formalities clashed until all he could get out was abashed, “Of course. Allow me to show you the way, Captain.”

“Thank you Major Burns.”

They both left leaving Hawkeye and Trapper stunned and a little disturbed.

“Hey Hawk,” Trapper said, hesitantly. “You don’t think we’ve got another Houlihan on our hands.”

“Too soon to tell,” he said. “We’d better follow, make sure Burns doesn’t corrupt the poor dear.”

#mash #m*a*s*h #hawkeye pierce #trapper john #radar o'reilly #henry blake #frank burns #elizabeth o'neil #my oc stuff #hawkeye pierce x oc #elizabeth doc o'neil

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