#kishibe angst

[daisynik7]

Hello, hello!

I wanted to drop a request for your y2k event. I was thinking "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys for Kishibe - fluff + angst.

Thank you and again, congrats on 2k followers! you deserve them!

Fallin'

I keep on fallin’ in and out of love with you. Sometimes I love you, sometimes you make me blue.

Word Count: ~1.2k

cw: angst, fluff, canon universe, established relationship, explicit language

Summary: Kishibe never intended to fall for you. As the world’s strongest devil hunter and being practically insane, he never meant to subject anyone else to this chaotic lifestyle of his. Still, somewhere along the way, he met you, and ever since, you want to stay by his side. And that scares Kishibe more than any devil could. 

Author’s Notes: Thank you @itsfairly for the request and for always supporting me! I have so much love for you, I hope you know that! This is a great song for the y2k karaoke party and it’s perfect for Kishibe. I always enjoy writing for him; I think he’s an especially interesting character, and obviously, he’s hot, lol. I hope you like this! Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated, thank you for reading! Divider credit to @/cafekitsune.

Kishibe isn’t keen on routines. Ever since he became a part of Public Safety at the ripe age of twenty, he’s lived a fast and unpredictable lifestyle. Some might call it spontaneous. Unstable. Even dangerous. He liked being kept on his toes; it made him alert, made him vigilant. He has to be when he’s the strongest Devil Hunter in the world. If he’s not prepared for any kind of deviation that comes his way, then he’s screwed. 

Unfortunately, he already is. He’s finally met his match. And it’s neither a devil nor a fiend. Not even a fellow Devil Hunter. It’s you.

Oh-so-precious you, who appeared in his life no more than a year ago. An innocent bystander he saved in Shibuya when you recklessly tried to defend yourself and a child against a Spider Devil, despite your severe arachnophobia. If you were alone, you would have been found cowering in fear, probably worst, a corpse mangled into pieces. But you overcame your phobia for a split-second when you decided to guard this kid, who couldn’t have been much older than five, parents nowhere to be seen, alone just like you. You didn’t stand a chance. After all, you’re only human, untrained for combat, a simple office worker trying to navigate your normal life. How could you fight this thing? Thankfully, Kishibe swoops in just in time, displaying his physical prowess so seamlessly. And of course, after having your lives saved, how can you not be smitten? 

It’s only a few months later when you realize how equally smitten he is with you. By chance, you reunite at a bar, the first time since the incident in Shibuya. He recognizes you instantly, the image of you standing defiantly with a metal rod in hand, facing a devil ten times your size. He’s seen idiots like you before, thinking they could take these demons on themselves. They’re never quite as pretty and impressionable as you, though. 

A couple cocktails in, inhibitions are let loose. That’s what you tell yourself, at least. Both you and he can hold liquor well, so you pretend to be tipsy when really, you’re completely sober, making bad decisions you can blame on the alcohol. He takes you to his apartment nearby and you spend the night together, and just as you fantasized, he’s equally skilled in the bedroom as he is outside of it. Eventually, you fall asleep with his arms around you, his lips grazing the nape of your neck, his breathing steady against your skin. The next morning, he’s gone, without so much as a kiss on the cheek or a note left on your nightstand, not even a text to explain his absence. If you didn’t have the scent of him embedded in your sheets, you would have thought it all to be a dream.  

It continues like this for the next several months. Chance encounters at the same bar begin to feel more than just coincidental, intentional even. You both sense it, neither of you admitting to it, too afraid to acknowledge that it’s more than just sex at this point. And while all that is good and great, the real kicker here is that you genuinely enjoy each other’s companies. Conversation flows effortlessly between you. His humor, while being somewhat morbid due to his career, jives well with yours. And most important of all, you feel safe around him. He’ll protect you no matter what. 

The irony of it all is that wanting to protect you is what makes him sneak out before you wake up in the morning. To him, it’s a way to prevent whatever this is from going any further. Despite yearning for it so much, he doesn’t want to wreck your life by bringing you into his. Who could ever love someone as fucked up as he is? An alcoholic, womanizing, money-hungry flawed being with no future except one of fighting devils. He’s already decided years ago that he’ll be alone for the rest of his life. And now, you just had to come along and ruin his plans. 

He'll never say it out loud, but he’s scared. The deeper he falls, the harder it will be to climb his way back up should anything go wrong. He already feels his heart being tugged closer and closer to yours every night you spend together. The possibilities of a bright future seem more and more plausible with you around. He can’t let himself succumb to this idea of normality; it’s uncharted territory for him, and he doesn’t quite know how to navigate it.

It's been a year since he laid eyes on you. Months that you’ve been together in some weird situationship that neither of you bother to label. Tonight, after you make love in his bedroom, you snuggle with each other, fingers laced together, his body surrounding yours in the familiar warmth you’ve grown to cherish. Something comes over you in this moment. Maybe it’s impatience from not knowing where this is going. Maybe it’s longing for validation that he won’t just leave you like he does every night. Maybe it’s because you’re in love with him and want to give him a reason to finally stay. You peer up at him, delicately tracing the scar running parallel to his jaw, heart beating faster as you confess. “I love you, Kishibe.”

His eyes widen only slightly; he was always good at keeping a poker face. He swallows hard, taking your hand in his, kissing your knuckles gently. “Go to sleep.” 

You glare at him. “Is that really all you have to say?”

He sighs, releasing your hand, pinching the skin between his brows. “What do you want me to say? That I love you too?”

You sit up, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m just asking you to be honest with me. I want to know if whatever this is,” you point between the two of you, “has a future.”

“You know that my line of work is dangerous. You know that the future is uncertain.”

“And yet, I’m still here, and so are you. So clearly, we want to be together, no matter how grim this future you speak of is.” 

It takes him a minute to respond, contemplating your very valid argument. He faces away from you, avoiding your gaze. “Then maybe we should finally call this quits. You’re better off without me anyways.”

You cup his cheek, turning his head towards yours. “I know you don’t mean that. I’ve never felt safer with anyone else. You protect me, and I want to protect you too. You don’t have to be alone anymore.” You nuzzle your nose to his, foreheads pressed together. He closes his eyes, relishing this intimacy, more afraid to lose it forever than surrender to it. Although he’s still scared, he realizes that with you by his side, he no longer has to traverse life on his own. 

~~~

The next morning, you wake up, fully expecting the typical cold, empty space beside you. To your surprise, you’re still cradled in Kishibe’s arms, his warm body embracing yours. It takes him a few more weeks for him to say it back, but it’s in this moment that you know he loves you too.  

#kishibe x reader #kishibe x you #kishibe x y/n #kishibe csm #kishibe chainsaw man #chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man x you #csm fanfic #csm x reader #csm x you #y2k karaoke party #kishibe fluff #kishibe angst #kishibe #chainsaw man

[yoursillydoll]

Being in love with Kishibe

angst?, mentions of sex, age difference (kishibe is in his 50's, reader in late 20')

You know that Kishibe doesn't love you. You're not even his girlfriend, you two just having sex from time to time. But he is the only person you can think about when you hear the word "love".

You met him in a bar two months ago. Old grumpy men being all by himself, ordering drink after drink. What made you sit next to him and chit chat with him? You don't know. But an hour later he asked you if you want to go to your place. Why did you agree? You don't know that too.

But you didn't regret that.

Sex with him was the best thing that ever happened to you. He made you feel so good.

You know about his job and how risky it is. But even if he died, nothing would happen. He is not your boyfriend. Just his sex toy, as he calls you. He doesn't mean it negatively, quite the opposite. You're "his" and this is all that matter.

He smells like alcohol and cigarettes. Sometimes it makes you feel dizzy, but when he thrusts into you, you can't even think about it. You only want him. He makes you go numb with his dick, tongue or fingers and everything else does not exist.

After all, when he falls asleep next to you, you can't help but stare at him. His handsome, old, tired face, looking so peacefull at that moment, makes your heart hurts a little.

He's not even that old, he is in his 50's, but alcohol ruined him so much. But Kishibe is the most handsome men you ever met. Even his scar looks so good on him.

After some time you realized it's not his look that made you like him. It's his loneliness.

Kishibe lost a lot of his buddies. You're well aware of the fact that he's still alive is a miracle.

Is he afraid to leave you alone? Kishibe is strong, but he's just a human after all. He's not immortal.

That's not it.

Kishibe is afraid of affection.

He told you he's not looking for serious relationship and he never been in one. Why? Is it because of his job? Or someone in the past hurt him? Kishibe won't tell you this.

Every time you want to hug him, his body reacts as if you are trying to attack him, his muscles tense. But he acts like nothing happened. "What's up, doll?"

He hardly ever smiles. And even if he does, it's not an honest smile.

Kishibe is a walking red flag. And you know it damn well. He told you clearly not to love him, but you failed. And you don't understand how.

Besides his look and good sex, he has nothing to offer. Once you realize how awful his personality is, you should run away from him. But... that's impossible.

You want to stay with him and observe him like a scientific object. You want to understand him.

But you love him. You love him like crazy and if you told him that, he'd probably call you that.

And as long as you can be near him, that's fine with you. You will regret this after his death.

#kishibe x reader #kishibe csm #kishibe chainsaw man #kishibe x y/n #kishibe angst #kishibe smut #chainsaw man #csm manga #csm #csm anime #kishibe headcanons #csm headcanons #csm x reader

[rinrinx2]

Hello! If your requests are still open can I request mixed smut scenario with - reader has a crush on Kishibe and enemies to lovers with it being a smut? I dont know if I should elaborate/describe it more but something among the lines of reader thinking he only has eyes for quanxi and never seeing her as a woman, so she goes on dates with both guys and girls her age, even trying to date Aki who kissed her during one mission, little did she know that a certain older devil hunter was jealous and angry, while reader feels like her big crush on an older and experienced man is unprofessional and wrong and is embarassed about it since she isn't very experienced with men? In reality Kishibe got over Quanxi a bit after she joined the work of being a devil hunter, but she thought she would die faster than Kobeni so he was a bit cold and mean to her but loved each minute he trained, drank, talked to her? and one day confronts her about it on a mission and they argue like they always do, so he fights with the reader and pins them or something? I apologize if you didn't need a description, have a nice day!

Hope you like it <3

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Picking a fight

Kishibe x fem!reader

Warnings: Smut, Inappropriate language, Mature themes, Adult themes, against the wall, unprotected, cream pie, breeding implied, mentions of death.

*Text in this font this indicates events from the past*

You would of preferred having anyone over your current partner literally anyone was better than the older man who held your interests so deeply.

"Would you stop panicking" Kishibe commented as you walked cautiously through the abandoned apartment complex.

"I'm not panicking I'm just nervous" you replied back.

"Nervous" he mocked with snicker as he rolled his eyes at the remark.

You hated how snarky and sarcastic Kishibe was with you, but you hated yourself more for finding it so attractive the way he would diffuse the most tense scenarios with an obvious remark.

A trait of his that you both loved and despised, just as Quanxi did, which made you snap back to the reality. As much as you had a crush on the older man it would only remain a crush as he was taken with Quanxi and only a fool would go against her.

"Head in dreamland already" Kishibe commented again as your mind lingered still on Quanxi.

"Well continue to be in dreamland and the demon will kill you and you'll stay there" Kishibe continued as he now walked ahead of you.

"Why do you always have to say things like that, you know how I feel about ... dying" you replied back, now with an air of worry in your voice.

Kishibe rolled his eyes once again at your worry. You were constantly plagued with worries of your death even when he trained you that was all that would leave your lips.

The thoughts of death started to manifest in your head and before you knew it you were thinking back to your training. Back to when these thoughts were scary enough to turn you away from your current life.

"How often do devil hunters die?" You questioned as you sat on the training mat.

"4 out of 5 don't make it" Kishibe replied while he took a deep inhale of the cigarette placed between his soft lips.

Your irises became as small as pins at the mention that there was a high percentage rate that you wouldn't even make it pass your first mission.

"Well if you lucky maybe the demon won't even bother with killing you, I mean a girl such as yourself would die from missing a step on a staircase" Kishibe said blowing the smoke down onto your face. That was the start of your relationship not only as student and mentor but as pickering partners.

"I'm being serious here (Y/N), stop letting your mind linger. We're getting closer" Kishibe said turning back looking at you with a face painted with irritation.

You starred back at him, slightly shaking your head as you snapped out of the memory your mind drifted to. Now facing back at the reality you were going into.

You looked at the different apartment doors as you continued your journey through the passages, noting how each door seemed to look normal yet something seemed to be off.

Just as you were about to ask about your surroundings you heard the snarky remarks of the older man begin.

"Your head so caught up on Aki that you not paying attention again" he said not even bothering to look back this time.

"What!" You replied back now with slight anger in your voice.

"Don't what me, we all know on your last mission you and Aki ended up having more fun than you were supposed to"

"Aki and I did nothing" you snapped back, now refusing to move a step forward.

"Oh please, we heard how he did you against the wall" Kishibe said now full on laughing at the idea.

"I didn't do it with Aki, we just kissed and it wasn't even like a proper kiss just a touch of our lips" you said now thinking back to your last mission, how Aki's lips were pressed against yours. You could still feel the warm of his lips against yours.

"Yeah whatever, you probably wouldn't mind dying on a mission with Aki" Kishibe said as he was about to reach for his flask.

Just as his hand grabbed the cold metal flask the flooring the two of you stood on began to shift, causing you to lose your balance.

"Shit" Kishibe said underneath his breath.

Your could feel your breathing began to speed up and feel the worry of death flood through your veins. You had been in many situations before but none like this. The walls were beginning to swallow you and the floors pulling your further in.

Your body was trapped within itself unable to move, and Kishibe soon noticed this when you weren't responding to him as he called out to you.

"Fuck (Y/N) move!" He yelled as grabbed your hand, pulling into some apartment with the door left open.

Kishibe threw you into the apartment, barely making it into it himself.

The cold floor against your skin did little to relieve the evident shock still traveling through your body.

Kishine looked down at your frozen figure and soon began to worry at you state.

"(Y/N) don't fucking go into shock" he said as he quickly flopped down to the floor starting to violently shake you back into consciousness of your surroundings.

"Come on, listen to my voice. You're safe here" Kishibe said as he began to hold you in his arms.

"You're safe, (Y/N). You're safe" he repeated over and over as he placed his hand on your head soothingly petting your head.

You remained still eyes still glossed over with fear, and heart still beating erratically. You could hear Kishibe voice in your mind, and began to focus on it, listening as every syllable hit against your ear letting it soak into your brain until you could feel yourself in your body.

Kishibe watched as your once frozen body quickly moved out of his arms as you took deep breathes distancing yourself from him.

"Why would you do that!" You yelled out to the older male.

"Save you?" He questioned as he remained seated on the floor as you slowly began to rise to your feet.

"No, talk about dying. You know what it does to me" you replied back with a bark.

"You've got to be kidding me" Kishibe said rhetorically as he now stood back on his feet, with his hand coming to his temples at your accusations.

"You use to train me and you knew about my worries of death, you know I'm scared to die in this field of work and then you go ahead and talk about it while we're on a mission" you continued to yell with a face full of anger.

"Calm down you're, you sound like that Kobeni girl the way you're getting worked up over nothing"

"Nothing! The floor tried to eat me, Kishibe!"

"Yeah but are you dead" he said with that sarcastic tone that had you going livid.

"Can you stop with that, I'm not your little girlfriend Quanxi that enjoys that demeaning tone in the face of death!"

"Quanxi?! I don't even like Quanxi since she began to work as a devil hunter, so you even going on about this is pointless" Kishibe yelled as he looked at you with a bitterly.

"Don't lie to me, I see the way you look at her. You love her and I've been trying everything to get over you even going on dates with girls and boys just to get you out of my mind. All you see me as is that dumb little girl you trained!" You shouted back pointing an accusing finger at Kishibe who now walked over to where you stood.

"Don't fucking stand here and say I've been making you jealous with Quanxi, when you're the one going about kissing co-workers" Kishibe said as there was only 3 steps away from you now.

"You think I enjoy hearing the woman I fantasize about kissing another man" Kishibe said now moving a step closer as you moved one back.

"You think I see you as some scared little girl, well you couldn't be more wrong" Kishibe said irritatedly as you back was now against some wall as he now stood face to face with you.

"You have no idea how I have thought about you at night, the way you look, the way you walk, the way you talk, everything about you drives me insane and the only thing stopping me from doing anything is because an old man like me should not be fucking his younger colleague"

Now it was Kishibe whose face was contorted with a scowl while yours remained with shock as you looked back at him, eyes wide and lips parted as he had just confessed how his feelings mirrored yours.

"Kishibe I want you to fuck me" you said quietly, barely above a whisper as your eyes looked into his, hoping that he would both hear you and wouldn't.

"I've been dying to hear those words" Kishibe said as he dove his head down to yours.

His hands now grabbing yours that were at your side pinning them above your head, as he passionately kissed you. His tongue sliding against your own feeling the warmth of your mouth against his.

His lips left yours as it now traveled down to your neck, feeling as his tongue slid against the column of your neck making your grasp out for air.

"Kishibe" you moaned out at the sensation of pleasure.

Kishibe removed his one hand that from above your head, now moving it lower till it was at the hem of your pencil skirt.

"Want me to fuck you now or after I kill this demon?" Kishibe whispered into your ear, causing a tingle to run down your spine.

"Now" you said quietly with your head lowered.

Within a second your skirt was now pulled up and your panties were being pulled down with one hand as the other was quickly pulling Kishibe pants down.

"I'm gonna fuck you so good that the demon is going to hear you moan" he snickered out as he got his cock out from his pants.

You looked in amazement at his cock, that was stood 10-inches big with a thick vein on the underside and two heavy breeder balls that caused pre-cum to shine on Kishibe slit.

"Take a nice look cause this is going in you" he said as he now fully removed your panties. He grabbed your hips lifting your up so now that your pussy was hovering above his cock.

You could feel his pre-cum against your soaked pussy, causing your to gush out more.

Just as you were about to moan out for him to enter, you felt his cockhead begin to slip in.

His felt as his cock split your pussy fold open, sliping it in causing you to moan out in satisfaction.

You felt ad Kishibe bottom out in you, not moving as he allowed you to get use to his size.

Your pussy fluttered against Kishibe's cock as it took it all in. You looked down between your bodies noting how your legs were wet with your slick and his pre-cum and back up into Kishibe's eyes watching as his eyes held lust in them.

Your lips slowly reconnected to his as he began to thrust up into you, each thrust knocking the air out of your lungs.

"Oh Kishibe" you moaned out against his lips, feeling the way his cock rubbed perfectly against your pussy walls.

Kishibe could feel the way your pusst tightened with each thrust, which only made him more feral to breed you.

"Your pussy need my cum doesn't it" he said in that sarcastic demeaning tone that had you seeing stars.

Kishibe began to quickening his pace, as he fucked you senselessly against the wall, the only sound being that over your moans and slapping of your wet pussy against his soaked balls.

Your pussy was spasming around his cock, taking in the way he drilled you so perfecting making your claw into his back.

Kishibe could sense you were close, your pussy was already milking him and your nipples were as hard as rocks as he could see them through your bra.

"Cum for me baby" Kishibe said as he rutted into you, his cock head nudging deep into your soft walls.

Your pussy was overflowing with cock and your vision became spotty as you felt the coil in yout tummy began to slip until it finally loosened.

Hot liquid began to gush from you onto Kishibe as you came hard, gripping onto him as your road out your orgasm against his cock.

Your actions causing Kishibe to shot hot white semen deep inside your pussy, as you milked him dry.

Kishibe remained still for a moment allowing you to catch yout breath before gently bringing your back down to the ground.

He gently helped your slip you back into your panties before slipping his cock back into his pants.

Kishibe looked at you with a smile, looking at your fucked out expression.

"Let's make a deal" he said causing your eyes to light up with interest.

"Let's go kill this demon, but if you spill a drop of cum from your pussy I get to fuck more into you after this mission"

"Deal"

.

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All rights reserved to @rinrinx2

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[nanamimizz]

tags:angst to comfort, implied age gap (kishibe is older than reader), break up and back together, cigarettes and alcohol mentioned.

synopsis: in trying to save your heart, kishibe breaks it anyhow - i guess it’s only fair he puts it back together again right?

what is love if it does not endure?

you stand next to kishibe, in the alleyway next to the bar public safety is celebrating at. you can hear power and denji cheering for aki to finish another pint as you stare off into the street, cigarette in hand. you don’t really smoke, you just like the smell of it since kishibe always smells like cigarettes.

“still out here?” he asks and he knows it isn’t about how you aren’t inside eating fried chicken and drinking beer with your colleagues. kishibe sees that look in your eye, and it takes his breath away at how they sparkle like diamonds in the milk light of the full moon.

“you are too, aren’t you?” and if it where another night, maybe at his apartment where your clothes are still untouched sitting next to his in his dresser he would have snorted, brought you in closer to lay a kiss on your sweet face, rubbing his stubble into your cheek until you squealed.

“so? how’d it go?”

“tamaki? he’s nice, but not really my type. paid for my cab though.” you muttered, eyes down and locked onto the orange ember on the cigarette. it’s smoke coils around you two, a veil for a moment not meant for the outside world.

the world was just the two of you - no devils, no humans, no guns and no paperwork. just you and him, maybe that’s why your apartment always felt like home when he spent the night?

“good man.” is all he can say, even though he pushed you away, he can’t stomach the idea of you with another man. the ember on the cigarette burns away more of it and you watch with dark eyes at how it flakes off onto the concrete.

“i miss you.”

“you shouldn’t.” kishibe says, voice deep and rough.

“i know, i still do.” you return, voice soft and smooth.

“i’ll just break your heart. you should want for more.” you shut your eyes, leaning your head back until it rests on the cool building. the concrete digs into your back and suddenly you feel like you are back in your apartment, this argument already having been said one hundred times before.

“you are breaking my heart right now, trying to push me away like this.” you mutter, words carried by the night wind into his ears and he sighs, in a deep bone tired way. this whole ordeal tires him, ages him far more than 30 years at this shithole of a job where each day might be his last. he’s had plenty of women before you but he’s never cared enough about them to take care of them, to cherish them the way he does with you.

it’s why he thinks he’s finally in love for the first time in a long time or maybe, this is his first love and you are bringing the man he thought died a long time ago back from the grave. another portion of the cigarette flakes off and falls to the concrete of the city, it pains him when he thinks about how that’s the brand he smokes.

“what do you want me to do?” he asks, and the words are heavy like iron on his tongue. you respond back without missing a beat, as if the words where in your mouth the moment you where born and have been waiting for this moment to speak them.

“take me home, and keep me there. don’t leave me ever again.” you say, the words shaky as something bites at the back of your eyes - tears you both realize as you wipe at them furiously with the backs of your hands. you didn’t want to cry, but like with most things kishibe can pluck all reservations in your heart and make you bear it in full.

“shhh…don’t cry come one…i’ll take you back.” kishibe finds himself comforting you, doting is a word never used to describe him but he likes to think its from how direct he is and how he can’t bear to see you cry. he touches for the first time tonight, a calloused thumb soothing away the tear track on your cheek. kishibe tries not to let the way you relax into his touch go to his heart but like always when faced with you he fails and falls anyways.

he takes you by the hand, calls a cab and you head to his apartment. it makes you wetly laugh and hiccup at how the things you left are still right where you left them. your toothbrush in a cup while kishibe’s lays on the counter ready to fall. the lipstick you haven’t been able to find sits next to the lighter he keeps in his room. your pajamas are next to his folded on the bed.

when you wake up the next morning, late in the first rays of the sun as the clock reads 10:00 you find that the tear tracks and the smoke from the night before are gone, replaced by the way kishibe’s hair shines in the low light of day.

#lamb.writes #kishibe x reader #kishibe angst #kishibe fluff #chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man fluff #chainsaw man angst #csm.

[aveegrex]

ASHES TO ASHES

we're now the same age

genre: angst pairing: kishibe x gn! afab! reader word count: 0,5k cw: explicit description of sexual activities, smoking, alcohol consumption, workplace affairs, death

"Heeey" you were inebriated enough to tease your superior's tie on some official function, hiding by the bar with the rest of Public Safety devil hunters. 

"Hey" he was aloof enough to not care for misconducts of a drunk twenty-something, and just as drunk to know you two would need a room in about twenty minutes. 

In any other normal department, this would get both of you fired on the spot. Normally. But the devil department was far from normal, a lawless satellite of bureaucratic limbo. So you two didn't even try hiding, mating like rabbits after each successful mission. 

He fucked you in a car that taxpayers bought him to be an effective murderer. Shoved you face first into the backseat and had you reevaluating your fears into kinks. When Aki later reported a successful elimination of the asphyxiation devil, Kishibe winked at you, breaking his deadpan for a fraction of a second. 

You rode him on the stairs of some ancient temple of incredible cultural significance, eyes crossed of how precise his tip was pressing against your sweet spot. Kishibe later swore he never came harder than that night, when he could taste the devil's blood on your tits as your cunt milked him dry. 

Himeno walked onto the two of you once, and waited a solid minute before either of you noticed her. You still had some shame and tried to clasp your thighs, but Kishibe just scoffed, kneeling in front of Himeno's table, and stuffed his face back between your legs. 

"We could die tomorrow, you know?"  the drag in his voice was almost as annoying as his long drag of a cigarette. 

You scoffed, shifting on the damp sheets of a shitty motel. "You're a sap" his cigarette tasted like shit and you fished out your own, the lighter clicks lighting your scarred cheeks. "And you say that every time"

"And every time it’s true" he attempted his weird flirt again, watching you a little too intense for someone his age in this profession. "Wouldn't you miss me?"

That made you raise your head to the window, eyes aching of a neon blue "B&B" flickering in the distance. "Dead don't miss" 

He huffed, and you remember distinctly how for a second you saw his eyes blow wide. "I'm older"

"Exactly". That shut him up, and the rest of the night came just as usual, sheets gaining more and more weight of your affair. 

...

"Kishibe" you whisper, cigarettes of his favorite brand burning through your fingertips. You hate smoking in the open space: the wind and the lack of proper lean-on turn the habit into a chore. But you can't force yourself to leave, not yet. Not until the pack is through, ashes of his brand mixing with the overgrown soil. 

"We were both wrong, Kishibe" you put out the last bud on the white-painted wood, lone tear gracing the soulless ground under your feet. "Now, we're the same age".

MDNI, reblogs and comments are welcome, love wins

© 2022 AVEEGREX, all rights reserved. reposting and copying my works without my consent is forbidden.

#chainsaw man #chainsawman #chainsaw man kishibe #csm kishibe #csm angst #csm smut #kishibe chainsaw man #kishibe csm #kishibe smut #kishibe angst #kishibe x reader #kishibe x y/n #kishibe x you #kishibe x gn!reader #kishibe x f!reader

[kanekisfavoritegf]

was reading this and …. just thinking about kishibe and him reading a passage out loud of whatever book you’re reading for class and directing passages at you or your relationship. or you reading and analyzing passages but kinda arguing about your relationship using the passages and everything. Like revisiting Romeo and Juliet but in university setting, and talking about forbidden lovers/starcrossed lovers and he’s arguing about why forbidden lovers are forbidden and the appeal of the relationship secrecy and forbidden aspects and you’re like “relationships aren’t supposed to be secret you’re supposed to love aloud and to be seen and that’s why they felt forced to killed themselves.” Or something 🫡

No cause the way Kishibe and Reader would use whatever book they were analyzing as an excuse to talking about their relationship in "public."

————————————

“All of this could have been solved had they been honest to each other's families.”

“So why didn’t they confess?” Kishibe pressed the student, trying to pull the seemingly obvious answer from him.

“Because they were in love!” Kishibe answered his question, Letting out a deep sigh in the process. 

The answer caused you to let out a scoff. You couldn’t help it. It was just so ridiculous.

“You disagree, Miss..” He said, as if he didn’t know your name. 

“L/N. Y/N L/N.” You almost rolled your eyes at him.

“Ahh, sorry. My mind seems to be aging ten times faster than the rest of my body.” The comment earned a few laughs from the rest of the class. It made you want to throw a pencil at him.

“But yes. I do disagree. Strongly.” Kishibe let out a small chuckle, but his eyes showed no sign of amusement. His gaze looked like a warning. 

Not here. 

Not now.

Behave.

All it did was piss you off even more. You hated how he pretended to not notice you like he didn’t beg to cum in you the night prior.

“Funny, might I ask why you disagree. Miss L/N.” 

“The entire appeal of the relationship is secrecy.” You said loudly and clearly for the whole class to hear. Keeping your eyes on him, you looked confident and defiant. If Kishibe wasn’t so aggravated at your wanting to argue about your relationship with him in book-related analogies in front of the entire class, he would be impressed at your insight on the most famous love story.

“Not at all, and even if it was, the secrecy of it all adds to the romantic and sexual aspect. For what would be able to pass in the 14th century anyway.”

“Then why not confess.” You pressed. 

“If we were to disregard the fact that their families would do everything to keep them apart. Then the simple and obvious answer would be love.

“Love?” You said, fists clenching in anger.

How dare he talk about love when he didn’t even want to take you on a real date?

“Yes. Love.” And for a split second, you saw a small smile on his face as his eyes flickered to you before turning once more to the entirety of the class.

And as he was about to continue speaking to the entirety of the class. You interrupted him once more.

“It seems to be two lust-filled idiots choosing the easy way out.” 

“Just because they were caught up in the passion of their feelings doesn’t mean they did not have something deeper than a surface-level type emotion like lust.”

“Their love would've never been accepted by their families.” A different student cut in. Causing every other student listening in on the debate to turn to the direction of the voice. But you kept your eyes on him, just as he kept his eyes on you.

“But they would have had each other. That would be enough if they had truly been in love.” You said slowly, trying not to let your voice crack.

“Love can be a blinding thing. Sometimes the obvious decision isn’t so easy to see. Choosing to keep their true feelings secret from everyone but themselves. In my eyes it was an act of love. For each other. They chose to keep quiet about their feelings for their safety, for their happiness. The dead can’t love.” Kishibe’s focus was now on the rest of the class once more as he spoke. He seemed dead set on ignoring you entirely. 

“It wouldn’t matter anyway.” A boy next to you spoke out.

“And why do you think that. Might I ask?” Kishibe responded.

“Even if they had confessed to each of their families or run away to be with each other, there would always be something to keep them apart. They were destined to fail. They always have been, from the beginning.”

#csm kishibe #csm smut #csm #kishibe x black reader #kishibe smut #i want kishibe rn #kishibe x y/n #chainsawman kishibe smut #kishibe chainsaw man #chainsaw man #angst #kishibe angst #kishibe csm #cat writes ★ #Ok but like this came out ten times more angsty than I thought it would

[usagi-best-boy]

I also love booze, women, and killing devils

Chainsaw Man

#csm #chainsawman #chainsaw man #chainsaw devil #csm power #csm denji #csm kishibe #denji #denji x power #power #chainsaw man kishibe #kishibe #kishibe angst #women #booze #killing devils #anime

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

mentor!Kishibe

mentor!Kishibe is very aware of your secret attraction towards him. Has to use every ounce of his will to convince himself that its onesided, just a young woman with a crush. But he'd have to be blind not to notice the subtle shift from the student/teacher vibe between y'all two when you finally complete his extensive training. It's been 3 years. Granted he deemed you at peak less than a year in, and now he had nothing left to teach you. Knows it's already incredibly suspicious and selfish keepin you from your aspirations this long. Still.. "Sure you don't wanna go private?" Kishibe takes a swig from his flask, tired eyes trained on the newest addition to the eerily desolate cemetery. "Tsk. Don't ask somethin you have no intention of doin yourself. Real funny way of askin me to stay.." You get no reply. The tense silence stretches on, so many words on the tip of his tongue. He eventually settles with a dry "Then congratulations, kid: It's graduation day." You frown, dreading this moment almost as much as the thought of never finding the gun devil. Feels just as despairing as you thought it would. Staring at the side of his handsome downcast face, admiring the crinkle round his eye. "Will you miss me?" Kishibe solemn eyes finally meets your imploring gaze, not needing even a second to think about your question. Uses the back of his hand to gently sweep your braids off your shoulder as he offers you a small forced smile. "Course, sweetheart. You already know.." Your heart skips a beat to the simple touch and new pet name. Know what? But then Kishibe's droppin his hand. Turns on his heel, stridin to the exit without another word. "Goodbye.." The strong gusts of wind the only witness to your anguished whisper.

mentor!Kishibe makes it a point to keep his distance from you. Even with workin in the same sector, its a whole year before you see him again. Makima finally wore em down into comin out to eat with a few fellow hunters. "Two minutes. Then we're done here." She only smiles at him, watchin as he sits stiff refusing to touch his plate of food. Kishibe ignores the flow of conversation, his mind wondering what you were up to for the evening. Imagine his surprise when he sees your pretty ass walk through the door, his insides twisting and knotting at the sight of you. Uniform pants huggin your shapely frame; white shirts sleeves rolled up to the elbows, first couple buttons undone and givin him the tiniest peak at your mouth watering cleavage. So fuckin gorgeous to Kishibe. Almost exactly how he'd last seen you. Your face is different thought.. Just as beautiful but he knows that gaunt look only too well. Your hairs changed too, now in y/h/c wavy layered tresses down your back. There's nothing on planet earth that can get either of you to unlock eyes as you freeze on the spot. You weren't sure when you'd see him again; if his petty ass would continue to dodge you till the end of time. But inna instant, it's like just the two of you exist. Nothing else in the world matters but how much you want and miss him.. Till you remember the cruel and sudden way he chose to snatch himself from your life, leaving you heartbroken. And more lonely than necessary, especially considering the profession. The thought has you spinnin on the spot and storming from the restaurant. Makima digs her elbow into Kishibe's side. "I'm not saying fall in love. But find a piece of happiness for yourself, even if you believe it to be fleeting." He doesn't say a word. Knows right away her sneaky ass had somethin to do with this crap. Puttin on his shoes and coat, he heads out. Doesnt grace a single soul at the the table with a goodbye, leaving for home with a scowl and a dark cloud over his head. Kishibe knew comin to this shit show was a fuckin mistake.

mentor!Kishibe is so fuckin stubborn that he goes another 6 months without you in his life before almost goin off the deep end. The gaping hole in his already miserable existence seems to physical weaken him. Kishibe can't eat, think or fuckin sleep anymore. Drinks more and focuses less on his goals at work, even skippin out some days to secretly pop up to check on you. But you never see him, even when you feel a pair of unknown eyes on you every now and again. He continues to watch from afar when you patrol, missin the way you'd accompany him on his. Longing to hear your sweet giggles when he'd say something dark or give you a taste of that dry humor. The only woman that got him to open up bout what makes him drown his sorrows in liquor. And even indulge less. Needs that connection with you again. He's startin to care less and less how hes too old, too much of a brute that might be incapable of giving what you need. And in fully recognizing that.. Kishibe can't be without you much longer. The only semblance of peace is late at night when he gives in to the madness that haunts him, pumpin at his angry agitated cock while you consume his mind. "Ohhh fuck, y/nnn.. Touch me, sweetheart.." Head dipped back into his pillow, moaning low imagining the his grip to be the warm wet clutch of your tight lil puss. Perspiration drippin down his nude frame, muscles spasming from how good it feels. "Tell me you want me.." Drivin him insane rememberin every scar, dimple, beauty mark peekin from your formal public safety uniform. "Want you so bad, pretty girl." Wish he could listen to how you pant after a strenuous session, tiny huffs akin to what he thinks you sound like if he sucked at your clit. "Bet you like that, huh?" Fucks his fist quicker to the thought, strokes awkward from how infrequently he masturbates. How sensitive would you be? Would you moan or scream? Buck and hump against his face, grind his lips for maximum pleasure? "Thats it. Take what you need greedy girl." Or maybe run from it. Yank at his short hair while tryin to escape, his name stuttering out on broken moans and pleas for reprieve as he forces you to cum. "Y/nnn!" Kishibe unloads allover his fist to the conjured imagery. Sputtering your name over and over as his nut spurts thickly in the air, splattering his muscled thighs audibly.

mentor!Kishibe knows things have gone all the way left when liquor stops helping to numb the pain of your abscence. Shows up to your spot in the middle of the night with a crazed look in his eye, bangin on your door like he was outta his damn mind. "What do you want Kishibe?" You snap after eyeing him through the peephole, swinging open your front door. Even through your outrage, you're immediately aware of the deep dark circles underneath his eyes. Or the prominent wrinkles in his suit jacket and pants, but most importantly the exclusion of that dank smell of whiskey. Your stunned he isn't stone cold drunk. But his attention is on the fact you're only in an oversized black tee, hair inna a cute messy bun. Smooth brown legs and pert nipple prints on display for his greedy gaze. Doesn't have very high hopes with hidin how his dick starts to chub, trying his damnest not to stare at the exposed skin. "Y/n, sweet girl.. Missed you so fuckin much. I'm so sor-" Kishibe steps a foot forward into your home, arms outstretched to embrace you but you sidestep him, smackin away his hands. "Fuckin kidding me right?" He's never touched you unless you guys were training, but back then you had always hoped for it. Dreamed of it. Even now your body yearns for him to hold you, caress you.. To fuck you. Traitorous pussy started to moisten, nipples stiffening the moment you opened the door. But you're fuckin hurt! "Y/n-" "What?! Thought you could ghost me then slide through for a quick fuck?" Your tone makes his heart clench. Kishibe can't believe you think that's what you mean to him. His face falls a bit and he drops his arms. "No, never. I missed you so mu-" "You said that already, Kish." Another interruption paired with a severe eye roll. "Babygirl, hear me out. You have every right to kick my ass and send me off. I'm sor-" "Yeah, you said that already too. Either tell me why you left me or get the fuck out." He takes a deep breath before puttin his heart on the line for the first time in his life. "I'ma fool, y/n. An old fool that had no intention of ever fallin in love. Not with the life we lead. You know as well as I that only swift violent death awaits all of us. But then I met you." Kishibe reaches for you again and but this time you allow him to link fingers, his words sinkin deep; they were very true. "Mourning hurts worse the more you care. I didn't want that for you. Just wanna protect you sweetheart. Even from myself. You mean everything to me and I dont deserve you.. What if i can't make you happy?" You mull over his words for a second. "So you denied me my dick, which woulda made me estatic by the fuckin way, all in the name of protectin me from grieving?" You clarify in disbelief. He gives you a short nod, cock twitchin at your admission. "Fuckin stupid, Kish. Everyone at work can see you're all i need to be happy. And we all die! No matter the jobs we pursue. What's wrong with enjoying each other till then?" You ask, palming up his abs to rest your hands on his chest. Wow. He never thought of it like that. Such a intelligent girl, but he always knew it. Though he tells you anyway. "When you become smarter than me, babygirl?" Kishibe asks, tuggin you against his well defined frame. Arms wrapping around you tight, dippin down to massage your backside as he noses up your neck, inhaling your fresh, feminine scent. "Haven't I always been?" You hug around his neck as he hums in agreement at your throat, tiltin your head to offer him more access. The need for his cock to mold your desperate cunt to the shape of him is overpowering when you feel it press firm against you. "Come in, Kishibe. Need you so much. Don't make me wait anymore." Connecting your lips to his, moaning when he passionately reciprocates as you yank him inside by his the collar of his shirt.

mentor!Kishibe hasn't had the luxury to relieve himself in weeks; can't even remember the last time he's gotten do it with someone other than himself. So he's absolutely unprepared when you unzip his slacks, push him to the bed, turn and hastily sit on his dick. "Holy shit, baby girl!" His fingers dig into your hips bruisingly, trying to lift you off his hypersensitive leaky length. Soft heat drenchin him, erratic flutter of your walls buildin that familiar pulsing swirl in his gut. Feels pathetic that he's already fighting back nuttin inside your perfect lil snatch. Mind reeling at finally gettin a taste of your bomb ass coochie, and the fact you aint have no panties on when you scolded him at your front door earlier. "Pussys too tight, worlds best cock sleeve baby. Mmm.. Oh shit- get up! Lemme breathe honey. Been too fuckin long, dont wanna buss yet." But you fight against his attempts to unsheathe himself, moanin as his words replay in your head. Leanin back into his strong chest as his scent clouds your mind, reachin back to grip tight at his freshly cut soft blonde locks. "Nooo, Kish! Don't make me wait anymore. N-need it so bad. 'S so big, feels so good inside me. Don't make me stop, pleeease. Gimme my dick, baby. Waited long enough right? Waited like a good girl?" Kishibe clenches his gut tight, noddin his head swiftly. Your filthy pleas, how you frantically mouth and suck on his neck, pullin his short hair hard, makin his fat balls buzz pleasantly. "Yes, yes. Ughnn fuh-uck.. Such a good girl, my best girl.. So please sweetheart, slow the fuck down less you want this shit to be over with already." He's sits tense, so fuckin on edge tryin not cum, not even sure you hear anything after 'good girl'. "Y/n?" "Kishibeee.." Your immediate dazed moan back to him doesnt sound promising on followin orders. Fuck! He assumes even with bitin off more than your lil puss can chew, you've been plottin all this time to take matters into your own hands. Always the clever girl. And so goddamn impatient. "Oh fuck, y/nnn.. Gonna give you what you want, just w-wait‐ wait a second honey!" Fuck that shit. "No." You huff, makin his pretty eyes narrow at your new found disobedience. "Little girl, stop. Right now. Dont make me- haaah!" Threat cut short when you grind and roll your hips into his before leanin on his knees to tentatively bounce on his dick. "Ohmygod! Knew you'd fuck me so good. Ohfuuuck! Waited too long for this good dick. So worth it, so so worth it!" You keen, tossin your head back at him diggin you out, body tremblin how he stretches your delicate walls round his thick girth more than any man ever had.

Kishibe eyes widen at your antics, grip at your hips useless as you keep a tight hold of the reins and fuck him a bit quicker. Tits jigglin under your tee, clit throbbin for attention as you use his dick to knock into that ridged pleasure button inside you. "Fuck me, Kishi! Show me how much you missed me. Yeees, yes- right there!" The intense sensation rapidly formin in the depths of your tummy is frighteningly mind numbing but you chase it anyway. Fuckin him vigorously, nails diggin into his knees as you both near whats sure to be orgasms for the history books. "Shiiit! Gonna make me buss so fuckin h-hard, honey.." "Then buss for me. Mmm. Show me what I've been missin. Wanna feel your nut splash inside, handsome." No womans ever talked to or fucked him like this before. Its him that usually mounts his victims till they're stupid from his curved cock. But now he can hardly take the snug hug your hole gives his dick. Unable to stop his eyes from rollin back in his skull when you focus on humpin the wide mushroom tip, swiveling your hips sensually as you ride your mans dick. His fingers slip from your hips and Kishibe falls back against the bed limply, eyes blurry with tears at the sensation of you fuckin him so thoroughly. "F-fuck honey. Thats it. Put that pussy on Daddy." He slurs, eyes shut tight, oblivious to the dark kink he keeps buried deep down finally breakin free. "Make me nut in that pretty lil pussy, baby. Show Daddy how he's the only one that can cum inside." His chest heaves as he pants out quick labored grunts from the way you pop your plushy ass on him up and down fast as you can, slammin your lil cunt on him tirelessly; the burn in your thighs the last thing on your mind. "Yes, Daddy! Gimme it, earned my nut huh? Don't wanna wait for it anymore!" You hiccup, beggin for his load in high pitched cries as he begins to buck his hips widly. "H-here it is, sweet girl. Nuts all for you.. Ahhh fuck! Take it, honey. Take it.." Glidin to the base of his swollen shaft repeatedly, literally milking the sperm from his poundin dick. Gooey white spurts layer your walls, coating your insides thickly with his essence. His hips unintentionally lift from the bed to chase your pussy, outta sync from your rythym, random hits to your gspot makin you seize in his lap. "Kish, Kishi- Kishibeee!" Juices gush and pool on his work pants as you cum enthusiastically, clumsily rotatin your hips, usin his poor cock to abuse your puffy hole even when Kishibe stiffens from the overstimulation. "L-little girl." He warns you but you ignore him, wordless moans slippin through your bare lips as you enjoy him like its the last time. The man has to gather all the strength he has left to snatch you off his dick and flip you onto the bed, pastel blue covers cool against your back. He hovers above you, sticky girth rigid against your slick pussy lips. "Bad fuckin girl. Doin whatever you want with my dick." Kishibe snarls against your mouth, kissing you hungrily, both of you still pantin for air. His words make you pout, releasin a small whimper when he pulls away, floppin next to you and cuddling into your side. "My dick, Kishibe. Plus.. Thought you said I was good." He snorts at your whine. "Any man would say that when you're force fuckin the nut out me the way you did, y/n." You bust out laughin at his deceitful trickery, your infectious giggles makin him follow suit. "That right.. Daddy? Didn't know you were into that. Think we got some catchin up to do.." Kishibe groans when you slip a hand to squeeze lightly at his sensitive slowly softening cock, smilin into his shoulder when it twitches with interest. He knows he'll never hear the end of this one and really wishes your perfect lil cunt didn't get him so fuckin pussy drunk. But really, Kishibe's finally happy; hopesand prays his lil slice of happiness won't be cut short..

#black writer #black reader #black fanfiction #all readers #all welcome #all women are beautiful #angst with a happy ending #cnc stalking #tw stalking #smut #dirty talk #daddy k!nk #creamp!e #dub con #dubious consent #overstimulation #csm smut #chainsaw man smut #csm kishibe #kishibe x reader #kishibe x black reader #chainsaw man kishibe #kishibe x you #kishibe x y/n

[gojos-espresso]

Prompt#1

“Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?”

“Yes.”

“What if I just break his nose a little?”

Prompt taken from this post

TW: Blood, Vomit

"Why do all the police department heads have to be such assholes all the time?" She whispered to Aki. "Dunno. they probably just hate that we do the job better than them." He replied as he lit up his cigarette. She huffed as the officer explwined the basic instructions on how to handle the devil.

15 minutes had passed and the officer since the long list started. "I hope you kids are able to handle the devil inside. Devil hunting isn't all that easy. Get that fantasy out of your head. Its a serious job."

She clicked her tongue and unwrapped a lollipop and mumbled to herself, "As if it's our first time interacting with one." they walk into the building. "What did you say?" The policeman asked, "It's not our first time interacting with a devil, sir, " you replied sarcastically. He was fuming by this time. "I don't think you guys are even cut for this job, especially you-you prick! You should just leave the devils to us!" He huffed and kept on walking.

You were fuming now, gritting your teeth you walked toward him but stopped because Aki grabbed your hand and nodded a no. You tried to protest but he gripped your arm harder. "We'll deal with him after the devil is dead, and no punching him in the face." You tried to protest but it was of no use.

20 minutes passed and the wolf devil lay in carcasses. You both were covered in blood, effectively ruining your uniforms. The police force arrived with the snarky officer in the lead. "Are you SURE I can't punch him in the face?" You whispered. "Yes" he replied nonchalantly. "What if break his nose just a little l?" You whispered again. He doesn't reply and starts approaching the police. You sigh and follow. "Good job you two!" The snarky officer beamed. "It was a hard task but you made it seem ea- ooof" Aki had kneed him in the nuts.

"The police force's hypocrisy never fails to amuse me. On one end we are worthless and when we do end up doing the job we are national treasures. Officers like you are the reason we exist." Aki said as he lit his nth cigarette. He then moved to the whimpering officer "Think again before you underestimate us next time. Your family won't recognize your face." And walked off. Perplexed you follow him out. You asked no questions as you drove back to the office. "A broken nose will show evidence that we assaulted him. So next time kick them in the nuts and no one would believe them."

Your eyes went wide and you beamed at him"Yes sir"

Masterlist

#anime #csm fanfiction #aki crack #aki x reader #aki fluff #aki hayakawa x reader #aki hayakawa #aki angst #csm crack #power #denji #makima #himeno #kobeni #captain kishibe #quanxi #tatsuki fujimoto #denji fluff #power fluff #denji crack #power crack

[denjirv]

Ngl Makima and fiend!reader relationship gives off the vibe of this nice adult who's kind to you but your parents told you to be wary of. I can see her rewarding you to make Denji work harder yknow.

Kishibe grab reader away from that woman please

True to Makima's nature she is controlling and manipulative, somehow one ups more of what Kishibe gives you. Chupa chups? Nope she's giving you fancy candies from the states, Physical attention? What's a head pat got when Makima sets you on her lap

Hug her all you want while Denji is glaring at you, he'll do better- he'll be better! He'll work harder for Makima to see how much more worthy he is than you.

#i feel like angst #I have ideas #But I must resist #chainsaw man #chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader #chainsaw man x you #chainsaw man x y/n #kishibe x reader #makima x reader

[kishibeswh0re]

"What's the problem, doll?" He said as he pulled you into a hug from behind. His big framed pressed against yours while his hands settled on your waist. His lips traveling down your neck. Peppering kisses along your skin as his stubble tickled you.

"'s nothing" you mumbled before turning around to wrap your hands around his neck. Pulling him closer than he already was. Holding him tight before pressing your lips to his. One hand traveling to gently cup your cheeks as he eagerly returned the kiss. His lips tasting vaguely of liquor and cigarettes.

You slowly pulled back just to bury your head in his broad chest. Inhaling the scent of the cologne you've gotten him. His body was so warm and big, and comforting. Something you'd never thought you'll find in a partner. Let alone someone like Kishibe.

"I know you're hiding something sweetheart" his hands playing with a Strand of your hair. you shook your head. Knowing full well he was just back from work and didn't have the energy to deal with your problems. "Don't lie to me, you have those eyes again"

"what eyes?" You Tried to hide your face in his chest again. Hands squeezing him tighter, closer. One of his hands lifting your face as his index finger amd thumb held your chin. Making you look at his half-leaded, surprisingly soft eyes.

"The eyes when something is bothering you but you won't tell me" he was right. Something was bothering you. You just couldn't bring yourself to tell him. Too afraid you'll annoy him. "Don't you trust me?" Tears blured your vision. You shook your head. Not trusting your voice. Scared you'll breakdown if you said anything.

He knew that face. He knew it too well, and it was one he couldn't stand.

He sat down at the Couch behind him. Gently pulling you down with him to settle on his lap. His arm wrapped themselves tighly around you as his fingers found their way into your hair

"Tell me everything until you'll smile for me again"

…

Tears rushed down your face. Your breathing just staring to return to normal and your head was slightly pounding. But you felt.. peaceful. Like a heavy burden was lifted from your shoulders. After crying your heart out infront of your lovers you felt as though the ache in your heart has started to fade away.

"Was that all?" His lips turned slightly upward in a gentle smils. You nodded. Looking at him with still glossy eyes. his hands wiping the tears on your face away before giving you a Peck on the lips. You didn't know devil hunter's could be this sweet.

You laid your head on his shoulder. His body was still tense. " Kishibe I'm sorry i know you're-"

"Don't" he tone suddenly shifted. A sharp contrast to the soft tone of voice he was using up until now.

"Don't you ever apologize for something like this; You don't have to apologize for a Damn thing"

#this is very self indulgent #as i am in a very shitty mode #kishibe #kishibe x reader #kishibe csm #cam fluff #slight angst

[rougepancake]

All the lonely people

FT. Rohan Kishibe x Ghost!F!Reader

WARNINGS: Age gap (you died in your 20s and he’s currently like 40 in this), this was written with the intent of it being sad (-_-). Probably ooc Rohan. No regrets??? Not proofread.

SUMMARY: You’re nothing but a spirit, cursed to wander the world until it fades away into the nothingness. However, you’ve been lucky enough to encounter someone who can actually see you.

“I know you’re there.” The sound of his voice pierced the silence, leaving an uneasy feeling to overcome the room. Within seconds, you appeared and poked your head out of the wall, looking down at his sketch curiously.

“How?” You slowly pulled yourself out of the wall, now hovering over his sketchbook.

“How what?”

“How did you know I was here?” You drifted around as you spoke, your tone light and carefree. It was clear that you were curious. It had been such a long time since you’d last spoken to anyone, so it was incredibly hard for you to believe that what you were experiencing was real.

“What?” He finally looked up from his sketchbook, looking at you with a bored expression. “Do you not have anything better to do?” He scoffed. “Shoo. I don’t have time to deal with spirits such as yourself. Not anymore, at least.”

You couldn’t help but take in his appearance, observing him closely. Why was he so relaxed? Was he not frightened by the idea of having a ghost in his house? He was so uninterested that it surprised you.

“Rohan Kishibe?” You asked, floating off in the direction of his bookshelf. You were a lively one, weren’t you?

“How do you know my name, spirit?” He returned to his work, the sound of his pen scribbling on the paper dragging out the silence.

“I’m not illiterate.” A particular book caught your attention, but your hand fell through it as you reached for it. You poured and drifted elsewhere. “I’m Y/n.”

Silence filled the air, making you feel uncomfortable. Was he processing your name? Did he know you when you were alive? No- that’s impossible… biologically, you’re much older than him. Maybe he knew more than he was letting on, since he was being so quiet.

“So you’re a mangaka?” You finally broke the silence, now standing in front of him. Your torso being cut off by the table to stood in.

“Why are you here?” Rohan sounded frustrated, but why? It wasn’t like you had done anything wrong. You were just being polite, despite your existence as a spirit. “What do you want from me? My soul?” He rose from his seat unexpectedly, glaring at you. His expression read ‘I’m too old for this’.

“I’ve no need for your soul.” You sighed and looked into his eyes. Was he afraid of ghosts? Has he only encountered evil ones? “I’m just… rather lonely, that’s all.” You hid your pain behind a smile, looking down to avoid his gaze.

“Very well.” He walked off to somewhere else in the room, his back turned to you. Rohan reached up and grabbed another sketchbook, flipping through it as if he was looking for something. “Just don’t annoy me.”

Wait. Did that mean you could stay? The idea excited you greatly, and you couldn’t help but grin at him. After years of being alone, you finally had someone to talk to.

“Thank you, Rohan-sensei.”

Weeks passed, and Rohan had grown quite fond of your sudden appearances. It had become the part of his day that he looked forward to the most, though he didn’t know why.

At first, he thought it was because you reminded him of Reimi, but he soon found himself to be wrong. You were absolutely nothing like her, and you were much more at peace with yourself. You always wore a smile, constantly telling him that it’s better to be free while the opportunity is still there than to wait.

In time, he realized the real reason he cared for you as much as he did was because he was just as lonely as you. It made sense, because it wasn’t like Koichi and Yukako stopped by anymore, same for Josuke and Okuyasu. And Jotaro was overseas with his daughter.

He really was all alone.

“You know, sitting like that isn’t good for your back.” You chastised him, making your presence known my popping up through the floor. Just where did you go when you drifted through objects?

“I know.”

“Why the long face?” The question made him tense. Was it that obvious? He couldn’t believe that you had seen through him so easily.

“No reason.” A sigh escaped him. Did he really like the company of those fools anyways? Maybe he just liked the idea of them… the idea of being surrounded by people that respected him…

God he missed Reimi.

He was starting to see her in you with every passing day and it hurt him. He couldn’t even look you in the eyes anymore, out of fear that one day, he’ll call you by her name. And while he appreciated how you never asked him about it, he wished you would. Rohan desperately needed someone to talk to, someone to comfort him. He thought he would die without being able to confide in someone close to him.

He wanted to cry and to be held. To comfort and to be comforted.

Rohan Kishibe just wanted to be loved.

“Well… you haven’t left your room in a couple of hours, so why don’t you come downstairs and get something to eat?” You sounded genuinely worried, but he knew it was a ploy to get him to listen to you.

“I’ll be down in a minute.” He mumbled, hiding his face in his hands. What had come over him? What brought about this sudden feeling of worthlessness?

You sighed and hovered in front of him, causing him to shiver at the feeling of your cold body being so close to his. “You said that earlier, Rohan.”

The way you spoke made him spiral further into his despair. Why had you hung around for so long? Did you feel the same way he did? Oh how it pained him. He had so many questions for you that would remain unanswered.

“I said I’ll be down in a minute.” The bitterness in his voice surprised you, and you actually took a step back so you could analyze him. Had something happened? Did you do something? You had only wanted to help…

Frowning, you vanished before him, going off to who knows where as he collected his thoughts.

“Reimi…” His voice wavered. “Reimi I miss you so much…” Rohan let out a shaky sigh and leaned back in his seat, looking up at the ceiling with a scowl. “Why is she like you… Reimi I need you to answer me…” At this point his begging was pointless, regardless of whether or not Reimi could see him. “Why…”

He was distant after that. He didn’t know why, but he knew he had to push you away.

It seemed like every time he looked at you his heart swelled, rattling against his chest like some wannabe maraca. He could always feel his mouth get dry and his face heat up, chalking it up to be nothing more than his symptoms of old age.

“Would you look at that.” You leaned over his shoulder, watching intently as he drew. “Your new chapter is going to be something else. I’m sure your fans will love it.” The reassurance wasn’t what he needed to hear from you, but he reveled in your praise.

“Thank you, Y/n. I’ve been working pretty hard on it.” And he left it at that. You knew he was acting strange, but you knew he had the ability to kick you out if need be. You knew better than to overstep your boundaries with him.

“Have I ever told you that you remind me of someone from my past.” You attempted to make small talk as you walked through one of the walls in his office. “They were someone I cared about deeply. But as time went on, we grew further apart. I had always assumed that I did something to upset them, but I know now that it was the underlying tension between us that resulted in our falling out.” Rohan had stopped writing to listen to your story, a sign that you had his full attention.

“I want to know what’s plaguing your mind.” You said after a long pause, your voice wavering. “I want to know why you’ve been pushing me away like I’m not good enough for you!” Your fists clenched at your sides, and you could feel your heart pounding within your chest. You were getting closer and closer to admitting what you were afraid of the most.

“I’m not. I’ve just been busy.” A shrug. He shrugged off your emotions like it was nothing, even though you knew for a fact that he had something he wanted to tell you. “Plus it’s not like you’d understand anyways.” He paused and leaned forward, resting his head on his desk with a sigh. “Can spirits even feel emotion?”

What a stupid question. ‘Can spirits even feel emotion?’ It made you cringe. Had he truly not cared enough to listen to you?

“Fine. Be that way.” You sighed and vanished again, leaving him alone once again.

But he didn’t want to be alone.

He wanted to be with you.

“God damn it.” He swore and slammed his fist down onto his desk. “I can’t do anything right, can I?” It was a never ending battle between him and his conscience, and he always seemed to lose.

How do you lose to your feelings? Do they just consume you? Take over your body until there’s nothing left?

It hurt.

Why had you even appeared in the first place? All you were doing was causing him more paint than he was already in, so why continue to haunt him?! There simply was no sense in doing so, and he hated to think that you felt the same way as him.

Rohan Kishibe was a bachelor and a mangaka, not some fucking hopeless romantic. He was better than this, and he knew it, but you had such a hold on him that he couldn’t let you go now. It would be cruel of him.

He sat there, silent as he waited to feel your presence again. But it never came.

A sense of bitterness overwhelmed him, tears forming in his eyes as he smiled ruefully. His lip quivered and his breath hitched in his chest, the emotions he had been working so hard to keep hidden from you finally spilling over.

What kind of fool falls in love with a ghost anyways?

#jojo’s bizzare adventure x reader #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojos bizzare adventure x reader #jojo’s bizarre adventure #jjba x reader #rohan x reader #rohan kishibe x reader #rohan kishibe #kishibe rohan #jjba imagines #jjba fluff #jjba angst

[heich0e]

the edges of the photograph have curled over the years, and you have to press them down with the tips of your fingers so that you can really look at it.

it's grainy and overexposed, the colours saturated in the way that early colour film cameras tended to be. it loans the image a feeling of nostalgia, even if it's for an era well before your own lifetime.

the figure in the centre of the photo smiles up at you, frozen in time--a fine young man, no more than 19 or 20--and it makes your heart pang treacherously under the cover of your ribs.

"like what you see, kid?"

you shut the photo album when kishibe poses the question, realizing you've been caught in the act. you rest your hands against the nicotine stained cover.

"no," you say after a moment, though perhaps you should say nothing. "i don't like seeing photos of you when you were young."

you make the admission quietly, like you almost don't want him to hear it at all. he huffs a little in response, like he doesn't believe you.

"make you feel bad you missed out on me in my golden years and instead got stuck with an old man?"

you bite down hard on your lip, your nails raking bluntly over the peeling, yellowed vinyl of the photo album's cover. a piece of the cracking material lifts under the pressure.

finally, you glance back at him over your shoulder. kishibe is sitting in the chair he favours by the window. he says he likes it for the view, but you know it's because he hopes being closer to the window will keep at least some of the chemicals in his cigarette smoke away from you.

his dark eyes, lined at the corners and shadowed beneath the sockets, are on you; tired (as usual) but patiently waiting for your reply.

"no," you repeat your earlier comment, the first to look away as you turn your attention back to the half-empty album in your hands. you wonder what photos used to be affixed to the pages where now only phantom discolouration and remnants of adhesive remain. "it's because you used to look happy."

#tw angst #kishibe x reader #kishibe #csm drabble #csm writing #writing

[nanamimizz]

tags: comfort fic, slightly angst but mostly fluff, description of injuries, no warnings

synopsis: reality checks in and you and kishibe make a promise to one another

kishibe thinks a reason he loves you so is because you are always there. never do you falter, your life is like a bubble filled with all things you and it’s nice…a break from the danger and thrill that the world of devils and hunters offers. that’s how he likes, it’s how he’s lived it for so long he doesn’t even think if he likes it out of necessity or if he really does.

but he forgets this is new to you. all you know is the media level information of devils, and even less than that of hunters so when he returns to you with gauze around the wound in his chest he doesn’t know how to explain the twisting feeling in his gut as your gaze burns with tears.

he didn’t tell you about it when he arrived at your door. honestly, he doesn’t register pain the way he once did and he only remembers it when you freeze at the sight of the cotton bandage around the expanse of his chest. he doesn’t even know how haunting it is does he? kishibe - the strongest man you’ve ever met standing in your shared room, dress shirt undone and hanging at his sides as you can see fresh purple bruises and gashes litter his chest.

kishibe’s face doesn’t reveal anything, but his heart lurches at how your lips twist into frown. as you make your way to him, crossing the room he keeps his eyes on your face. your hand - frailer, softer compared to the bear paws he got stuck with trace the gauze gently as if your nails might undo the work and leave him bleeding out before you.

this is isn’t the first time he’s made a woman cry but they’ve never been his woman have they?

“what happened?”

“just some debris. was too slow to get out of the way. some pipes got me is all.” he explains to you easily, his own hands settling on your waist to keep you at his side. you nod, absent minded, as if his words where muddled by water and not told before you.

“you okay?”

“i just…i forget how dangerous this is. sometimes, i mean. you always come back fine so seeing this,” you pause to shudder and your fingers rub the material of the gauze and he watches how your eyes scrunch close.”it’s scaring me, i guess. that i am taking you for granted. one day you’ll be gone and i’ll fall apart.” you confess.

he doesn’t say anything for awhile, and lets your words hang heavy in the air as you lower your forehead until it comes to a rest squarely on his chest. your fingers are no longer tracing the gaze but instead the course, silver hair of his chest and stomach and he shivers with your nails thinly run over the bump of scares he’s collected over the years. kishibe feels his shoulders fall at your sadness - falling in love was a gamble he thought he could take, but it’s almost as if you dig your hands into him and pull out the parts of him he thought died somewhere in his career along all his partners.

“i’m sorry. i’ll be more careful.” he murmurs into your hair as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. you nod and he takes that as a ‘thank you.’ dark eyes look down at you - you are shorter than him and he feels something in his chest tighten at how your eyes are rimmed with red and your dewy cheeks.

without hesitation he brings a hand to yours - and places it where his heart slowly but surely beats. your fingers spread, touching the sturdy build of his chest, silver hair reflecting in the light.

“i don’t have much. not in here,” his heart beat stutters under your touch, “but whatever is left, it’s yours. you can do whatever you want with it.”

“what if i what want to do with it - is for you to always bring back to me, safe and sound?” you ask, your own arms wrapping around his middle and pushing yourself close to him. his arm that is free settles around your waist and you feel his palm rub at your spine.

“i’ll do that then. always.” he answers, a promise made to you. there’s no one else he wants to come home to.

you’re all he has left.

#lamb.writes #kishibe x reader #kishibe fluff #kishibe angst #csm fluff #csm angst #chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader

[nejiverse]

just red your Aki fics with the family and omg.

but then my head goes to thinking about Y/n finding out about Aki’s death.

and it just breaks my heart as like an AU.

if possible can you write that but not cannon to what you’ve written just as an alternate thing

ONE MORE TIME

Aki Hayakawa

writing this kinda pinched my heart a little 🥲

cw: hyperventilation, angst

919 words

Y/n paced around the office nervously. Biting down on her nails wouldn’t be enough to contain her anxiousness at the current moment.

This feeling was of course normal and natural. It was part of the system that evolved to keep people safe and well. It was an alarm system of sorts, one you should heed.

One you should always heed.

Unfortunately this time, she chose to ignore it because of her lover’s persistence and eagerness.

News was received that there was more information on the gun devil’s whereabouts and Aki was so quick to accept the mission.

Y/n knew the reasons as to why he wanted to pursue the Gun devil but she also worried for his safety.

She tried, she really did.

She tried to talk him out of it because of the feeling that was welling deep inside her chest, a feeling of uneasiness.

He managed to calm her down by promising to come back alive and well.

“I’ll never forgive him if he breaks his promise”, she said with bated breath.

“All that worrying won’t do you any good Y/n. Try to calm down”, Himeno tapped her shoulder with her cigarette, offering it to her but she shrugged her off.

She never smoked, she didn’t like when Aki did it either, but old habits die hard as they say.

These next few hours of her life would either pass as a blip or they would be the final trauma that breaks her. Soon enough, she would find it to be the latter.

The next sound that was heard was the hinges of the door squeaking open, alerting the two women that someone was stepping in.

It was a man Y/n remembered to have accompanied Aki on his mission.

She looked up to him with hopeful eyes, she figured no words had to be said from her. Her pupils and facial expressions clearly displayed what she wanted to know.

“The mission was a success..”, he started.

Y/n let out a sigh from deep down in her chest, a small smile making way to her lips. That meant Aki was alive and breathing, or so she concluded.

“I’m glad to hear that”, she gently clasped her hands together against her chest. “Where’s Aki right now?”, she asked happily.

When she saw the man’s features dulling, her smiled faded as fast as her hands unclasped. She frantically looked from the man to Himeno in disbelief.

“H-he’s fine, right?”.

No response.

But the silence spoke louder than any words could. In fact, the silence laughed at her. It mocked her as if to brag of its undeserving feat.

Terror overtook her face and sadness clouded her heart.

“Don’t tell me…”, her voice was barely audible. “I l-lost him?”.

She lost him.

“I’m sorry”, the man clenched his fists in a useless attempt to stop tears from threatening his eyes. He quickly exited the room so he wouldn’t have to hear her weeps. It was futile though.

Y/n found that she couldn't draw in her usual lung-full, as if concrete had been poured into her airways. She clutched her shirt tightly into her fist.

The panic drove her to start gasping, breathing as if the oxygen had been sucked from the air around her. Y/n doubled over and fell to her knees, one weak hand on the ground to support her weight.

Already her thoughts were becoming jumbled, like she was in a nightmare rather than the simplistic office.

Himeno quickly rushed to her side and embraced her tightly.

“Let it all out. You can cry, it’s okay”, Himeno rubbed her back and squeezed her eyes shut as to ensure no tears slip down her cheeks.

Y/n knew how things would go from here. They would all act as if it were a noble sacrifice for their sake, that by loving his memory, the mourning would become a wholesome and wonderful thing. But the truth was they were cowards, every last one of them in this dammed association.

“So…cruel”, she murmured through her tears. It was cruel that none of them were willing to see the difference between honourable self sacrifice and murder. She hoped guilt will one day destroy them from the inside out.

Y/n let out a scream as tears came out of her eyes in pools and her nails dug into Himeno’s arm.

Aki didn’t deserve an early death.

“Please Himeno..”, she wailed, almost like a child as she averted her half-lidded and heavily red eyes to the woman who was embracing her. “Bring him b-back, Aki”, she stuttered through her quick huffs, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

Himeno pursed her lips. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t think there were any words to console her at this moment in time. She could only offer her presence.

All she ever prayed for was to be in his arms forever. His love was everything to her. He made her feel so good about herself, he was kind to her, so very kind.

She would do absolutely anything to just hold him one more time.

But that was a wish that could only be granted in her dreams,

For these hours were only the start of the longest and darkest night there ever was.

Masterlist :)

a/n: I love writing angst, also no manga spoilers please

#chainsaw man #aki headcanons #aki angst #chainsaw man angst #csm angst #csm scenarios #csm headcanons #csm aki #csm imagine #csm #chainsaw man imagine #chainsaw man x you #chainsaw man x y/n #chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader #csm x you #makima #kishibe #denji #power #aki hayakawa x female reader #aki x you #aki x y/n #aki hayakawa fluff #aki hayakawa x reader #aki #aki hayakawa #aki x reader #aki fluff #aki chainsaw man

[sashimiyas]

A Bitter Blend

Summary: you’re a barista and Kishibe is your regular though he’s far from it

Word count: 2k

Genre: angst but like soft angst? idk, if you’ve read any of my works you can recognize it’s not explicitly angsty, more bittersweet i guess; coffeeshop au; implied age gap

Warnings: mentions of blood; description of an attack; mentions of alcohol, food, and obviously coffee

A/n: missing my coffee shop job it seems; fun fact, i would write the monthly newsletter for my coffee shop to promote community and it was chock full of stupid coffee puns. my favorite month was febrewary

It starts with doing your job. You greet at every ding of the door, him no different.

“Good morning,” you chirp effortlessly. The words are meaningless along your tongue, palaver in the form of customer service. “Thank you for choosing our store. What can I get started for you?”

Regardless of your height, he peers down at you from a place above. A diminutive feeling that makes it hard to keep your cheery composure. It might be a trick of the light, but you swear you watch his tongue run down the inside of his cheek, tracing the inner of his scar. What story is associated with an injury like that? You wonder, but force your gaze back to his eyes, doing your best not to be impolite.

You’re caught, you realize, when he smirks at you. A small tilt on the scarred side of his lips, he runs a weathered hand, deep wrinkles indenting his knuckles, across his jaw. You hear the minute schwick as he scratches at the prickles of facial hair there.

“Coffee,” you suck your teeth between your lips at the answer, take one extra long blink with it to restrain yourself, because obviously he wants a coffee if he’s in a coffee shop.

“Large,” he finishes and tosses down an exceptionally grand bill, “black.”

Then he walks away. A small brisk in his step, he places his hands in his pockets, and stands near the exit. He watches you from where he is. Not a single word is spoken and he leaves without one glance back.

You don’t see him until months later. He’s forgettable until he isn’t. The same low cost, back alley haircut, same stitched scar that makes something constrict in your chest, but his movement falters. His overcoat whips against his thigh as he limps his way to you. You glare down at the uneven tempo of his dress shoes, a rich suede splattered with something even darker.

He looks at you, waits for you to say something outside of your regular greeting.

“Coffee,” he finally states when you don’t, “large. Black.”

You already know from just the uniform he wears, the scars and hollow look in his eye, that this is something he is accustomed to, something that you’ll never understand. When your greatest horrors are cleaning the bathroom of a lactose intolerant customer who’d basically just consumed a very dairy beverage, his must be actual torment. He must be plagued by devils and not only of the ones of his own creation.

“You look like you need a little more than that,” you point at his injured leg with your sharpie.

He doesn’t laugh, but he does smile. The distorted kind that makes you feel bitter and sweet and angry and forgiving, “you’ve got rum?”

“No.”

“Then that’s all I need.”

He ruffles through his overcoat pockets. The sleeve of his button down peaks out and you witness faded blots of iron, as if they’ve been scrubbed to remove saturation but not stain, taint white.

“You need a doctor.”

“Alcohol’s my medicine.” He drops the same denomination from last. The man makes a move to walk away again, but stops at the sight of your expression. You’re intently glaring at him, unexceptionally pleased with the interaction. It doesn’t matter who he is or what he does, he’s still only human.

“Don’t make such a pretty face like that,” a hand covers his mouth, traces the line of scruff along his jaw, and when he removes it, you swear you see an edge of amusement. “The ones that get mad at me are the ones I like best.”

You make it a point not to think of him, not to look up at every jingle of the door, not to frequently check the cambro if you need to brew more. He’s despicable, purposely enigmatic just for the opportunity to be annoying.

But it’s been months again and as you wipe the crumbs off a table with an overused sanitizing cloth, your thoughts go in a direction you’d rather avoid.

What if he’s dead?

Checking the news hadn’t been a habit before but curiosity does often get the best of you. You don’t even know his name, but occasionally on your break, you’ll watch anyways. Hopefully the next time you see him, it won’t be on a screen.

The sword devil is apparently running rampant in the streets of Japan. You listen to the crisp vowels of the reporter, spoken straight from the diaphragm as you bask in the peace your coffeeshop porch has to offer.

The bumble of the morning is drowned by the sound coming from your earbuds. There’s no reason for you to look up, but you know the heat of that stare anywhere.

“You,” the man says with one foot in the door and out the other.

Your index finger traces the edge of your ear, removing one of the devices. It prompts the newscast to pause, “you.”

He raises a brow, “that’s not very welcoming.”

You pinch your lips, doing your best not to look irritated at him with the memory of his last words replaying in your mind.

It’s like him to say something stupid.

You glance down at your imaginary watch, “I’m not on the clock.”

He nods and there’s this strained silence as he obstructs the entryway to your shop. He opens the door wider, presses his frame against it so people can move in and out but it still makes for awkward movement.

There’s something about him that upsets you, the distance that he keeps. Interacting with customers is seamless and people for the most part are easy to read. You have the same exact conversations with regulars over and over again.

(How are you? Oh, you know. Yeah, I know. On your way to work? As always. Have a good day at work. You too. See you tomorrow! See you tomorrow.)

Even the ones who aren’t even looking for a conversation, the ones strictly there for caffeine, you speak to in familiar head nods.

But this guy? It feels like he’s always one step away from disappearing. At least the Pollock painting has been wiped free from the suede of his shoes.

“You’re back.”

I’d been thinking of you. You would normally tell a regular customer. He’s beyond regular so you leave it at that.

He nods. A set of teenagers pass him onto the street and you debate putting your ear bud in. There’s little time left of your break and spending it with this alcoholic of an old man is one of the least appealing ways to end it.

“You’re still here.”

The surprise in his tone makes you respond quickly, “of course I am.”

He starts to shake his head, as if to deny the fact before his very eyes, but he stops himself, tucking his chin in for one single and sharp nod.

“Why do you–”

“Sometimes people aren’t meant to stay. Keep that in mind.”

You want to say something but his overcoat whips back. And he enters your coffeeshop, one foot in. The second foot comes after.

He comes and he goes. Waits for his door near the door. Years go by and you continue making coffee with the news playing in the background.

It’s been a while since you’ve had a proper breath and your vision goes dotted. The world is blurry and unfocused and maybe you’d been too harsh on him.

For a man to experience this, to seek devil and death so outrightly, you should have known he’d always been in a plane out of your reach. How could your experiences compare to his? When all your worries are selfish, meager things, like your apartment being too cold or the price of daikon going up?

Is this what he goes through every day? You look at the grotesque form of a human and sword, grappled by neck with dangling legs. Is this what he sees? Is this where he goes when he’s not ordering the plainest request in your coffee shop?

Your grip on the sword devil’s wrist goes limp as you resign to your fate. Closing your eyes, you don’t realize what’s going on.

In an instant, you’re falling, breathless now in flight. You land in someone’s arms and start hacking into their knee. They rub your back and from the precipices of your vision is a showdown of sword and knife. Steel, blood, metal, it is all overwhelming and it takes minutes for you to regain clarity again.

When you look up, the remains of the sword devil is splayed across the streets of Japan rampant no more and above it is him. He lingers on the sidelines while the medics check your injuries and when they look away, you rush from the scene.

“What are you doing here?” The man is quick to notice your absence.

Maybe this isn’t the right way to cope but you want to run away. You want normal. You want the smell of roasted beans and toasted pastry.

“You weren’t at work.”

Look at him, still saying the most stupid of things. “Obviously. I was busy getting close to murdered. What are you doing here?”

“My job,” but the answer is uncertain and maybe just the slightest bit scared. You turn to face him one more time. He’s close, closer than he’s ever been and without the brew of coffee, you can smell the rum that’s permanently stained on his lips.

“And I’m going to mine.”

“You need a doctor,” he’s firm with this. The muscles in his jaw dance along his papery skin, dried by so many years around the sun. Without the register separating you two, you can see the peaks, ridges, and valleys along his face, the vestiges of a handsome man. Age had done a number on him but maybe the culprit is trauma or stress.

“And why would I need that, Kishibe? When coffee is my medicine?”

He ignores your pointed statement. “How do you know my name?”

“I heard one of your coworkers say it.” If there’s one thing you want to retain from this incident, it’s that. At least now you know what to look for in the obits. “Now quit following me. I can go to work by myself.”

“I’m getting a coffee. You happen to be going in the same direction so why don’t you let me walk you?”

“So you can walk back out again?” You’re done with this elusive game he’s been forcing you to play. He only answers with silence and a defensive glare.

But you’ve spent years serving him coffee, picking up all the crumbs he likes to leave behind. There’s no way your heart can take this anymore, this vague relationship he’s begun and maybe it’s all on your end, self imposed by a sincere worry for his well-being, but then why? Why does he always come back?

“Make a deal with me.”

Kishibe ruminates, “like a contract?”

“Sure.”

“What is it?” he runs his hand along his jaw. You’ve noticed it’s a nervous tick. His fingers like to find the grooves of his scar and you think it’s because it reminds him that he’s still alive.

“I’ll stay. I’ll be there to brew your coffee. Large and black,” you point at him, “but you have to come back. You have to make sure you come back.”

“Is that it?”

“And maybe you stay.” You grow quiet at the suggestion. He gives you an amused huff when you look at him. A smile that encourages you on, “Stay and have a cup with me.”

After a moment, his overcoat ruffles as he shrugs, “I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can get out of you, isn’t it?” It’s not exactly what you want, but as you’ve always known, the man in front of you is far from regular.

“Some people aren’t meant to stay, but I’m still here so might as well give it a try.”

#reina.writescsm #csm x reader #kishibe x reader #chainsaw man angst #don’t know how to tag in this fandom