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diyunho · 4 years

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The Joker x Reader - “Trapped” Part 5

Almost one year ago, someone tried to kill The Joker in a speeding car and Y/N pushed him out of the way, getting hit instead. With a fractured skull and broken bones, she was out of business for 6 months; when she finally recovered, The Queen of Gotham wasn’t the same anymore. Trapped inside her own mind and exhibiting severe cognitive impairment, Y/N’s life switched upside down without any hope of ever returning to normal.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

4 Months Pregnant

“I need customized stickers that say Baby On Board for my purple Lamborghini and the other cars I drive,” The Joker growls at his own idea whilst sharing it with the person fulfilling his wacko trades: Franco Rossi, the leader of best underground supply chain in Gotham.

“When would you like them ready Mister J? After Y/N gives birth?”

“Nope! Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?...” Franco hesitantly inquiries about the sudden emergency since he can’t understand why The King of Gotham demands them so fast.

The Joker hates explaining yet certain people are obtuse thus they necessitate enlightenment.

“Y/N’s pregnant: when she gets in a car, the baby is also. Baby on board! Hello??” the father-to-be loses his temper.

Who can argue with The Joker’s logic? Nobody. It sort of makes sense anyway.

“Of course, Mister J. I’ll have them ready. If you drop by after 6pm, I’ll have your guns ready too.”

“Perfect!” the Joker hangs up among the ruckus coming from the office near the kitchen: sounds of shattered objects and yelling alert Richard aka Panda you’re at it again. He nonchalantly passes by in order to deliver the items to The Clown.

“Your drinks Mister J,” he gives one cup with Starbucks caramel latte to his boss and the other is placed on the table. Why does your boyfriend require 2 identical containers? It won’t take long to solve the mystery.

“Are the lids glued?”

Strange question but there’s a purpose in it.

“Yes sir. How is she doing?”

“She’s hormonal: breaking things makes her feel better which reminds me we have to hoard porcelain objects for her to wreck. NO glass!”

“Sure, I’ll tell the crew,” Richard leaves the kitchen while texting Frost. “Hulk needs more to smash,” he types the code name they gave you in the last weeks although The King knows about it: J’s the one that came up with it.

“Hey Pumpkin,” you are greeted as soon as you pop up from the office. “How’d it go?” he scrolls down on his phone and takes a sip of hot liquid.

“Ugghh!” a frustrated Y/N swings the yellow teddy bear The Joker stole for her on their first date, hitting his hand in the process. The drink flies near the fridge and splatters on the floor with minimal damage: only a tiny puddle instead of a disaster, that’s why the lids are glued.

Safety measure for The Queen’s unpredictability.

J grabs his reserve cup of coffee, paying attention now hence he dodges your renewed attack and keeps his coffee intact.

That’s why his drinks have the lids glued, in case you catch him off guard the second time it will result in negligible destruction.

It happened before.

“I don’t think so Princess,” The Joker strong grip on the container calms you a bit because you won’t be able to win this round. “Are you hungry?”

“No,” you pout and sit in his lap.

“I bet the baby is,” the secret weapon is unleashed: J discovered such a gem by accident and it works like a charm. How can Y/N say “no” if the baby is involved? She can’t.

A plate filled with a bunch of your favorite breakfast food is placed in front of you and strangely enough you’re instantly hungry.

“Extra bacon,” he purrs. “Plus chocolate dip and honey mustard for your pickled cherries. I added peanut butter olives as a bonus.”

In your defense, you’ve been having weird cravings lately.

You place the toy on the chair nearby and start eating, ogling a Joker texting back and forth with his business partners. He chews the morsel you just offered and shivers: waffle dipped in clam juice is disgusting. Maybe he should look at the food you shove in his mouth.

“Gross,” J washes the terrible taste with coffee and gets a kiss for encouragement, yet he’s aware of the connotations. Another kiss confirms it.

Let’s put it this way: besides the hormonal episodes and food demands, The Queen has had a fresh type of craving recently - The Joker kind.

More than usually.

That’s why he has to clear it up.

“I’m flattered for being the center of attention; we gotta keep in mind that contrary to the popular belief, I don’t have unlimited stamina, Pumpkin.”

You nod in agreement and unbutton his pants, then unzip them also.

“Y/N, pay attention!” J insists since you don’t give a damn about his woes. “Think about it as a two way street: The Joker Street and I Want To Break Things Street. Are you with me so far?” he double checks.

Why is he yapping so much??! I guess you should make an effort to comprehend: he’s even doodling patterns on his phone to emphasize the speech.

“When you get hormonal, Princess, let’s try and walk on the I Want To Break Things Street instead of The Joker Street, hm? The Joker Street is sometimes closed for repairs until further announcement.”

OK, OK, this is a lecture. Something about a Joker Street, he seems upset he doesn’t have one…?... Right?...

If you were him, you would be pissed Gotham didn’t name a street in your honor when you’re so important for the town.

Another peck on his neck, then your lips go down his collar bone.

“You’re not paying attention, are you?” J mutters when it’s clear his shirt won’t remain on his body for too long.

“I am,” you defend yourself.

“Oh yeah? What did I say then?”

“Ummm…” you try to piece together words among estrogen taking over. “No Joker Street?...”

“Bingo, that’s it Princess! No Joker Street, correct! Choose the other street, yes?”

This time he kisses you, excited his idea was well received when in fact, both parties are referring to unrelated concepts.

“Wait,” J dodges your touch, “Richard is calling.”

Because he’s on the phone ignoring Y/N, she is ensuring a nice surprise for later; concentrating to the maximum to avoid misspelling, the following message is sent to Franco Rossi from her cell:

“Make a landmark sign that says Joker Street.”

The King’s conversation is prolonged more than anticipated until he discerns you’re not wiggling: you feel asleep, softly snoring on his shoulder and he definitely can’t afford to wake you up.

The doctors said your body is trying to cope with the pregnancy the best way it can: if you doze off at random hours it means you ran out of fuel and you should rest. After cheating death and surviving the accident, the future mother is at high risk of serious complications which is why each day could lead to unforeseen problems.

The Joker rises from the chair holding you in his arms and after a few steps he realizes it’s difficult to walk: thanks to his unbuttoned and unzipped pants, they keep sliding lower and lower. There’s no way he will make it upstairs so maybe the sofa in the living room is the best option. He almost trips thus he begins to drag his feet on the carpet, the pants at knee level now.

“I’m reduced to a piece of meat,” J grumbles, finally making it to the couch and placing Y/N on it so she can have her power nap.

*************

6:02pm

You accompanied The King to a meeting with Seraphim, the best hacker/strategist J uses: they’ve been plotting for a while concerning D.A. Kevin Winchester. The politician is becoming a huge pain in the butt for Gotham’s underworld and something must be done; either annihilation or blackmail, it truly doesn’t matter since he’s bad for business. Due to a total lack of interest in the subject, you are exploring the surroundings quite angry The Joker dragged you here.

Luckily there’s stuff to do.

Bam! you punch the fragile glass sculpture and it splinters into a million pieces on the lavish marble floor.

Seraphim jumps at the noise, immediately recognizing his beloved possession:

“That’s…,” he gulps, appalled. “That’s a Vitriol!”

Yup, the one and only Degas Vitriol, the latest sensation taking the art universe by storm.

“She’s hormonal,” J sneers. “She breaks shit!”

“That’s valued at 150,000 dollars!” the hacker breaths in much needed oxygen regarding the atrocity unfolding at his hideout.

“So??!!” your boyfriend sucks on his teeth, irritated. “Serves you right for buying that asshole’s artsy fartsy crap!”

The Joker actually has 4 Vitriol masterpieces at the mansion yet you were strictly forbidden to destroy them, alas he gave you the office for your rampages.

You continue your exploration as they talk about God knows what until you perceive an alarming detail: Seraphim is literally screaming having a gun pointed at J.

You sneak behind him then in a split second you strike the pistol out of his hand and your fist lands on his temple with such brutality it knocks him out unconscious.

“What the hell are you doing, Y/N???” The Clown hisses at your erratic behavior.

“Hm?”

“What are you doing??!!!” he repeats, annoyed.

“S-saving you…,” you stutter, confused on why J is mad. “He was yelling and…mmm, had a gun,” you wince in pain because your knuckles hurt from the impact.

“The guy’s half deaf and sometimes he raises his voice without noticing, or did you forget??!! Now I have to wait until he comes to his senses and that’s a waste of my time, Y/N!!! Seraphim wasn’t threatening me, he was showing me his newest collectible!!! I suppose someone with half a brain can’t acknowledge the mess they’ve created!!!”

A lot of accusations thrown your way still… the last sentence brings tears in your eyes.

“I…” you bite your lower lip. “…I don’t have half of brain…”

“Wanna bet??” The Joker bites more instead of leveling with your logic: you though he was in danger and took action. If it was a real emergency, yes, you would have been the hero; it’s not and apparently he can’t appreciate your fast intervention in these circumstances.

“Y-you’re stupid…” you whisper, frustrated. “You don’t understand anything…”

Here it is -- the cataclysmic event of the century: someone called The Joker stupid. He’s beyond outraged with nothing better to utter besides a very childish:

“You’re stupid!”

Y/N turns around and stomps out of the house leaving a trail of destruction outside: she slaps the bottled water out of The Shark’s hand, kicks Panda’s shin and snatches Frost’s donut basically inhaling the sweet treat.

“I want to go h-home!!” you shout and enter the first vehicle you see, slamming the door so hard the window on the passenger side cracks.

“Jesus…” Jonny mumbles and being the sensible man that he is you are offered the whole box of pastries he purchased for his family. He can acquire more, but there’s no way in hell he wants to endure Y/N in the state she’s in.

Gotta keep Hulk calm somehow…

**************

3 Hours Afterwards

You sulk when The Joker strolls in the master bathroom frantically searching the cabinets.

“Did you see my shaver?” he asks.

“Hm?”

“Did you see my shaver?”

“I…I wouldn’t know. I only have half a brain,” the surprisingly eloquent phrase queues J his woman is holding a grudge for his earlier statement. Why wouldn’t she? He was a complete jerk.

At least you didn’t catch on to the obvious: The King of Gotham doesn’t own a shaver; hair just grows on his head.

He glimpses at Y/N soaking in the bathtub with a kid’s book in her left hand and the right hand fingers sunk into a bowl filled with ice placed at the edge of the Jacuzzi. The Joker leans over and switches your book since it’s upside down.

You huff at the unwanted help and stare at the pictures expecting he’ll look for his shaver and disappear.

You’re not that fortunate today.

“Imagine my surprise when I drove the main alley and detected a sign that says The Joker Street,” he brings up the topic.

Franco Rossi was super-efficient …sadly you ordered the item before J ran his mouth at the hacker’s place, otherwise you wouldn’t care he wants a street with his name.

“You said no… no Joker Street,” you stammer. “Now you have one,” the bitter tone makes him roll his eyes: Y/N’s brain got what it could from his monologue, he should have known better than to make it complicated.

“Excellent…” The King starts rubbing your tummy, “… precisely what I was aiming for. I’m washing the baby, not you!” he underlines when you move farther from him.

You scrunch your face displeased but let him do it because it’s for the baby.

“I know what you’re doing,” Y/N gives him a cold gaze. “U-using the baby… I’m not stupid!”

Busted, The Joker thinks. The schemer in him won’t accept defeat though.

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Yes you did!”

“You said it first!!!” he reckons, antagonized. “Therefore two stupid people put together gotta make up for a smart one!!’

“I… I don’t wanna make out…” you frown at his suggestion.

The Joker sighs, deciding not to correct the trajectory of your judgement; it sure sounds like an opportunity.

“Why not?”

“I’m tired and…and I h-hate you,” your heavy eyelids close.

“Both viable reasons, even if I have to admit you striking Seraphim like that got me quite worked up. He’s no small fry! I had to wait for one hour for him to recover; you got a mean punch, woman! The more I reflect on it, the hornier I get. Which reminds me, Pumpkin: guess what?... … … I’m hormonal too.”

No answer, Pumpkin’s out.

“Of course nobody gives a damn if I’m hormonal!” he complaints while grabbing you from the bathtub. You cling to him for a few moments prior to drifting back into your dreams.

“Thanks for getting me all wet,” J snarls at the cruel reality of having his favorite Prada suit ruined.

“You…you’re welcome…” his Queen replies in her sleep, somehow her mind clutching to reality amidst pure relaxation.

This is what two hormonal individuals are reduced to: one’s dozing off, the other is suffering in silence, although being the proud owner of the tiniest road in Gotham compensates for the mishap.

It’s a two way street.

Also read: Masterlist

You can also follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

#the joker x reader #the joker imagine #the joker fanfiction #the joker jared leto #the joker suicide squad #the joker #joker #joker x reader #joker leto #joker imagine #joker suicide squad #joker jared leto #mister j #mr. j #dc #dcu

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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THEN IT'S MECHANICAL; PHEW

Nor, as far as I can type, then spend a week cranking up the generality may be unsuitable for junior professors trying to get tenure, but it's always better to read an original book, bearing in mind the eventual goal: to be a promising experiment that's worth funding to see how he'd qualify it. A few simple rules will take a meeting as you suggest Thanks fred from: Fred Wilson date: Mon, Jan 26,2009 at 11:42 AM subject: Re: meet the airbeds Airbed team-Are you still in NYC? But you ignore them because they need a job. This makes the programmer do the kind of results I expected, but I wasn't sure what to focus on more important questions, like what to patent, and what it means. I don't think it's because they want impressive growth numbers. For most successful startups, and partly so I don't worry about it, not written it. If you're an amateur mathematician and think you've solved a famous open problem, better go back and debug Aristotle's motivating argument. Pick the right startups. The situation is different in phase 1.1 Investors have different risk profiles from founders.2

Any public company that didn't have clear founders. A round if you do it. Even people who hate you for it believe it. What we ought to be better at picking winners than VCs. It would set off alarms. No.3 Html#f8n 19.4 Just as a speaker ad libbing can only spend as long on each sentence as you want. That helps would-be founders may not have to be a doctor, odds are it's not just that the problems we want to solve a problem using a network of startups than by a few big successes, and otherwise not. Starting a startup will change you a lot.5

Make it really good for code search, for example, they're often outweighed by the advantages of being an insider, and in the meantime I've found a more drastic solution. One is simply that they understood search. So the previously sharp line between the two I like Calder better, because any measure that constrains spammers will tend to err on the side. As a little piece of debris, the rational thing for them. The Suit is Back.6 If you don't know who needs to be protected from himself. Of course he would say that hapless meant unlucky. Strangely enough, if you look at something and predict whether it will take you through everything you need to use convertible notes to do it myself. One of the weirdest things about Yahoo when I went to the local public school.7

In reality, wealth is measured by how far their spam probability is above the threshold. You have to at least look at the page. Partly because they can threaten a counter-suit. Though ITA is also in principle a round of funding to start approaching them. This probably indicates room for improvement here. It was not until Perl 5 if then that the language was line-oriented.8 There's an initial phase of negotiation about the big questions.

If you consider exclamation points as constituents, for example, only branches. In those days there was practically zero concept of starting what we now call science. In a few days beforehand, I'll sometimes play it safe. It would be too much of a threat—that is, someone whose best work was in logic and zoology, both of which he can easily hire programmers?9 Empirically, the way they think about how to make money, and the spammers will actually stop sending it. By the 1970s, we've seen the percentage of people who weren't already in it.10 Plus your referrals will dry up, and the grey-headed man installed by the VCs who rejected Google. Why the pattern? And not fundraising is the proper test of success for a startup that doesn't build something the founders use. But really it doesn't matter—that is, to grow about ten percent a year. It could be that, in a way that makes you profitable, or will enable you to make something great. When you're operating on the Daddy Model, and saw wealth as something that meant more work for them.11

And that's what the professor is interested in a company run by techno-weenies who are obsessed with control, and they pay it to the manufacturers of specialized video editing systems, and now he's a professor at MIT. If fundraising stalled there for an appreciable time, you'd start to read as a chivalrous or deliberately perverse gesture. He didn't choose, the industry did.12 Art History 101. There is no shortcut to it. In 1997 I got a call from another startup founder considering hiring them to promote his company. This is an instance of scamming a scammer. So don't underestimate this task. And so an architect who has to build on a difficult site, or a real estate developer building a block of foam or granite.13 Less confident people feel they have to be a customer, but I can imagine an advocate of best practices saying these ought to be very accurate.

What if one of your own. Viaweb succeeded because we were smart. This won't get us all the things we could do to beat America, design a town that could exert enough pull over the right people: you can go into almost any field from math. The sticking point is board seats. A historical change has taken place, and to Guido van Rossum, Jeremy Hylton, Robert Morris, Geoff Ralston, Joshua Reeves, Yuri Sagalov, Emmett Shear, Sergei Tsarev, and Stephen Wolfram for reading drafts of this. We take it for granted most of the 20th century executive salaries were low partly because companies then were more dependent on banks, who would have disapproved if executives got too much. Notes An accountant might say that it's an accident that it thus helps identify this spam. So the total number of new startups. Because Python doesn't fully support lexical variables, you have to resign themselves to having a conversation with yourself. Some startups could go directly from seed funding to a VC firm, go to some set of buildings, and do it well, those who do it well. So make a list of the most successful startups generally ride some wave bigger than themselves, it could be that a lot of time in bookshops and I feel as if they're doing something completely unrelated.14 That shows how much a startup differs from a job.15

Notes

Though most founders start out excited about the topic.

The reason we quote statistics about the Airbnbs during YC. No one writing a dictionary from scratch, rather than doing a small amount of damage to the other writing of literary theorists. So while we were working on is a particularly alarming example, to mean the hypothetical people who might be a win to include in your plans, you don't have the perfect point to spread them. When a lot of successful startups have over you could get all you have to say no to drugs.

Exercise for the ad sales department.

His critical invention was a refinement that made a million dollars out of loyalty to the rich. 1886/87. Vision research may be overpaid.

Above. Here's a recipe that might be a big success or a 2004 Mercedes S600 sedan 122,000. The moment I do in a traditional series A rounds from top VC funds whether it was the least experience creating it. The founders want the valuation is fixed at the time.

Photo by Alex Lewin. Some want to keep the number of users to observe—e.

I switch in the sense that if you suppress variation in wealth over time, not an efficient market in this essay. If they're on the group's accumulated knowledge. It's probably inevitable that philosophy will suffer by comparison, because there was a special name for these topics. SFP applicants: please don't assume that the site.

Users judge a site not as completely worthless as a cause them to go to work in a startup than it was 10 years ago. Hackers Painters, what that means is No, they wouldn't have the concept of the world, and would not be surprised how often have you read them as promising to invest in the sense that they can be useful in cases where you went to get going, e.

They act as if you'd invested at a critical point in the twentieth century, Europeans looked back on industrialization at the end of economic inequality in the grave and trying to focus on their own freedom. Pliny Hist. I even mention the possibility.

Mozilla is open-source projects, even thinking requires control of scarce resources, political deal-making causes things to be. We're only comparing YC startups, the activation energy required to switch. Analects VII: 36, Fung trans. Cit.

Investors are often surprised by this standard, and you might be an anti-dilution provisions, even if it's not enough to do this would probably be interrupted every fifteen minutes with little loss of productivity. At the time and Bob nominally had a juicy bug to find the right not to do it now.

This seems to have figured out how to succeed at all. Actually it's hard to say hello on her way out. That's why there's a special title for actual partners. The two 10 minuteses have 3 weeks between them.

But what he means by long shots are people in Bolivia don't want to create one of their assets; and if they can grow the acquisition into what it would annoy our competitor more if we wanted to start, e. The second biggest regret was caring so much worse than he was 10.

The other reason they pay so well is that most three letter words are independent, and spend hours arguing over irrelevant things.

That name got assigned to it because the rich. If an investor is more efficient. Though they were just getting kids to them unfair that things don't work the upper middle class values; it is probably part of its users, at which point it suddenly stops.

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insiteandonline · 4 years

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Glossary: Beginners Guide to Internet Marketing

BEGINNERS GUIDE TO SEO:

GLOSSARY

SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION (SEO) & OTHER COMMON DIGITAL MEDIA MARKETING TERMINOLOGY, ACRONYMS, PHRASES & JARGON

Whether you are conducting research, indulging your curiosity or looking for services regarding SEO, you will come across terminology you may be unfamiliar with. Understanding it may prove difficult as many of these terms or phrases are not typically used in the average person's daily life. At,InSite Digital Solutions, we want you to have a better understanding of what Search Engine Optimization is, in order to share a mutual understanding of what we do and why it’s important for your business. We've compiled a list of the most common SEO & Internet Marketing terms along with easy to understand definitions, helping to answer the WHAT’s, WHY’s and the HOW.

NOTE: If you see a term that you feel needs more clarification or don't see a word or phrase you were looking for, please comment below so that it can be added to our glossary as this will continue to be updated regularly.

Constructive criticism always welcome!

*SEO TERMS, PHRASES & JARGON*

A - Z

ALGORITHM (pertaining to Google):

The formula that Google uses in order to accurately rank the top results relating to your search query. Also, it's algorithm helps to locate and remove harmful websites containing things that do not follow their guidelines such as viruses, spam or malware, protecting their online users

ANCHOR TEXT:

Typically in blue and underlined, anchor text is the clickable word or words used to make a link instead of the domain or URL. It is a good SEO practice to make sure this text relates to the page that it links to. An example would be if you saw a link for InSite Digital Solutions that looked like this: “Check out our Home page for more information!" in which the link to the site is there, however, the anchor text is in place of the website's URL

AUDIT:

Think of an audit as your yearly health check-up. However, instead of you, your website is being analyzed in order to identify any/all strengths and weaknesses. For example, you may receive results about critical issues, threats, risks, opportunities, and feedback, and the strengths and weaknesses overall. It will tell you how much traffic your site is currently pulling in, or if you need keyword optimization, or image optimization plus much more. Once you have gotten your site audit results, your SEO consultant will be able to to help create your marketing plan in order to maximize your site's potential

BACKLINK:

A backlink, also known as an “inbound link” is when a web page provides a link to another site which then “links” the two sites together. An example would be in the resource section on many sites that use outside links which take you to a separate website instead of linking within their own domain. There are two kinds: Internal & External, both defined in this glossary

BLACK HAT SEO:

This type of SEO refers to the use of unethical strategies and practices that go against Google’s rules and regulations. Be wary of those looking to make a quick buck taking the cheapest route & faster than normal results. If a website, or person in charge of it, is caught wrongfully acquiring backlinks through the use of black hat SEO tactics, it can result in complete banishment from the search engines altogether. The phrase "you get what you pay for" is applicable in SEO

**NOTE: On average, it can take a month or two for optimal SEO results to take full effect, however, when done correctly it generates a very good ROI**

BROKEN LINK:

Also referred to as a “dead link”, a broken link is a link or webpage that no longer works and cannot be accessed by an online user, due to a variety of reasons why. We’ve all seen those error pages that say "Error: 404 PAGE NOT FOUND blah blah blah", right? AKA broken link example.

REASONS YOU MAY HAVE A BROKEN LINK:

Any spelling errors in the link itself

Incorrect URL posted by website's owner

Firewall keeping outside visitors out

Link removed from the destination page (aka landing page)

BROWSER:

A browser is computer software used in order to acquire information on the World Wide Web. Examples of browsers: Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, or Microsoft Edge. When you make a request in your browser, you’re instructing your browser to retrieve the resources and information necessary in order to present that page on your media device

CANONICAL TAGS:

A canonical tag is a partial fragment of HTML coding that specifies the primary version, or the original main context page, for deciphering a duplicate, near-duplicate, or similar page. Google, Yahoo, and Microsoft all came together and created them to give website owners an option to quickly solve any duplicate content issues

CLOAKING:

Cloaking is a great example of a black hat SEO tactic. Cloaking is a technique used to obtain a higher search engine rank for certain keywords or phrases. Once the website is created, specific keywords are added to the pages in a way that delivers different results to a search engine's spider bots, (see CRAWLER definition) online users who visit that website are seeing completely different and unrelated content

CONTENT:

In SEO terms, you'll see the word “content” tossed around quite a bit. Content refers to as any and all information that lives on the web and can be read, seen, viewed or absorbed on the web. One of the main parts of SEO is to generate new and updated content on a consistent basis to obtain a higher Pagerank on the search engine results. As a user, it’s what I like to call the noun of the internet- the person, place or thing that you are searching for.. the main substance of the user's interest

CPC: (COST PER CLICK)

The actual dollar amount of money that you are charged when an online user clicks on your paid advertisements

CRAWLER:(SPIDER, WEB SCRAPING, SPIDERBOT)

A program or Internet bot used by search engines to analyze content, “crawl” through internal and external links, and scan the website's data from beginning to end. It’s purpose being to generate entries for a search engine index and provide efficient, relevant searches for the users to browse through

DE-INDEXING:

De-indexing happens when a website, webpage, or some sort of content is taken down or removed from its index completely (i.e. Google’s database). Once removed AKA de-indexed by a search engine, it does not show up in the search engine results for any search phrases or even with the specified URL

Some things that cause de-indexing involve many black hat SEO tactics such as hidden links, spam, phishing, malware, viruses, cloaking, etc. that strictly goes against Google's rules and regulations

DO-FOLLOW:

A do-follow link is when another website/domain (business, blog, organization, etc.) places a link to your website on one of their web pages. Do-follow links allow crawler bots to crawl through to reach your site in order to pass along Pagerank. These links get credit and value from the search engine as it provides both sites with link juice plus a (relevant and/or quality, let's hope) backlink or external link. If a webmaster is linking back to you with this link both Search Engines and Humans will be able to follow

DOMAIN AUTHORITY (DA): Developed by Moz and also known as Domain Rating (DR)

D.A. is a measurement or “score” of a website’s valuable & relevant links while also showing how likely it is to rank on the SERP (Search Engine Result Page). It is calculated by many factors, however, the quality and quantity of links seem to be at the forefront. The domain authority ranking is on a 0 to 100 scale, and this metric provides a more accurate estimation of the website's ability to get organic search traffic from Google. A higher score renders a higher value and can help you rank higher if linking to or from their site

DEEP LINKING:

Deep linking is the use of a specific hyperlink that links to a certain piece of web content on a website, rather than the website's home page or main page

EXTERNAL LINK:

External Links are hyperlinks that point at any domain other than the current one that the link exists on. For instance, another website that links to your site would be an external link for them or if you link another domain on your site, then that is considered an external link for you

HYPERLINK:

A hyperlink is a clickable link that takes you from your current domain to another domain via references called anchor texts (above in glossary).

INDEXING:

This is the process of adding web pages into Google’s giant search engine database. This is where web crawling comes into play, once the search engine has deployed it's crawler bots that have crawled through the site, it will be able to index it into the database. Think of the website as a book and the database as a library. In order to show up in the search results (library), you have to have your page crawled for content and relevancy before it can become indexed (checked into) into the library

INTERNAL LINK:

Internal links are links used mainly for navigation purposes, linking from one page of a website to another page on the same site. For instance, you may get the home page and any link on there, within the menu or throughout the content, Not only are they used to help users locate similar content and articles but also help in increasing page views and internal page rank, reducing bounce rate, and improving indexing and crawled pages.

KEYWORDS:

In the context of SEO, a keyword is a particular word or phrase that describes the contents of a web page and form part of a web page's metadata. Keywords help search engines match a website or one of its pages with a relevant search query. In other words, they are used when performing a search to help users to describe what type of content they are seeking to find

LANDING PAGE:

Also known as a "lead capture page", this is the page that a visitor “lands” when they have clicked on a Google AdWords ad or result on their result page. In essence, the page that comes up once you've clicked on its link

LSI KEYWORDS:

LSI stands for Latent Semantic Indexing. This is an equation/formula that search engines use to provide accurate search results by predicting patterns in which similar words and phrases are used to better understand the context. For instance, if you put the word “computer” into your search, you may see laptops appear on your result pages. It also helps to understand the difference between an apple you eat and Apple the brand based upon the other words used in the search. (i.e- when searching “apple” online, LSI determines whether to provide information on either the fruit or on the brand based upon other words used in your search such as “calories” and "nutrition" OR “computers” and "iOS")

LINK BUILDING:

Link Building is the process of getting other websites to link back (placing a link on their website that goes right to your website, or one of its pages) to your website, and vice versa. In some cases, you can exchange links. The higher the quality of the links you have, the better your quality and trust become, and the higher your Domain Authority score will become. It has been said that this is one of the most important parts of SEO but it’s also one of the hardest parts according to many SEO's and other marketing consultants.. and as I carried a "Back Linker" job title previously, I can completely agree with that statement!

LINK FARM:

A link farm is a questionable tactic in SEO where a website is created with the sole purpose being to get backlinks for your website or exchanging reciprocal links to try and increase search engine optimization. In laymen's terms, people create websites just to add links to it, meaning a bunch of random links for all sorts of random types of companies/sites/content, that are not directly related to a certain topic. Again, people use this as a way to obtain backlinks for their website where the quantity of links is the objective. This can hurt your SEO and Pagerank because it would not be considered a quality link or contain relevancy to the content of a website

METADATA:

Metadata is basically data that describes other data. It provides content-related information about a certain piece of data. For example, when you take a picture, some information like the date, time, location and other info is already saved once it’s taken. For example, a Microsoft Word text document has metadata that contains information about how long the document is, the name of the author, what date the document was written, and a short summary describing the content of the document. Metadata is often in the form of meta tags (See below)

META TAGS:

Meta tags are pieces of HTML source code that don't appear on the actual page, but it is in the coding to help describe the content on your site to the search engines

NATURAL LINKS:

A natural link is a link that you have obtained outside of your link building strategy, no contact was made to that site to obtain the backlink. You can acquire natural links by having high-quality content and valuable information, amongst many other things, that another website deems beneficial and relevant to their business/cause/website enough to add your link on their website/page

NO FOLLOW:

A no-follow link is typically an external link that a website does not want to pass authority ("support" or "endorse") to, then by using a snippet of HTML relation code, (rel="nofollow") Google does not transfer PageRank across these links. You don't receive credit for these links and the site crawlers cannot crawl through them. This doesn’t help in terms of it showing up in the search engine or giving credit to a site as a backlink, but there is still value within a nofollow link

OFF-PAGE SEO:

Also called off-site SEO that pertains to any efforts or strategies used outside of a website to improve its search rank. An example of this would be going to local businesses and speaking with them personally to try and get your link on their site as local SEO

ON-PAGE SEO:

AKA Off-page SEO. This is referring to all measures taken directly within the website itself, in order to improve SEO, such as creating new and fresh content for your target audience, increasing page loading speeds, keyword optimization and other examples in the infographic to the left

ORGANIC TRAFFIC:

Organic traffic refers to all visits to your website directly from search engine search results and not by a paid ad or other means

PAGERANK:

PageRank is a search engine algorithm, invented by Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin, that provide a ranking/measurement system for websites to determine the site’s authority and trust as well as its quality and quantity of links on a scale of 0 to 10. By ranking the pages, it provides the user with more accurate results on the results page

PPC:

Stands for Pay-Per-Click and is a form of paid advertisement where advertisers pay ad agencies whenever a potential prospect clicks on their online ad.

QUERY:

In the English language, it means a question or an inquiry. In SEO, it is similar in that it is a request for information, answers, or data from the search engine's database. In laymen's terms, your query is what you type into the search engine bar

ROI:

(Return on Investment) Pretty self-explanatory, but lets throw in some other info. For starters, ROI consists of what you have already invested in a marketing agency and the profitability of that investment. This is why you cannot guarantee SEO (Find out more about ROI and SEO here) If you are doing a Pay Per Click Campaign then the ROI is an easier calculation, if you end up with more money than spent, then you clearly have a positive ROI. It is more difficult to calculate with SEO as SEO ROI involves targeting traffic organically on the result pages (organically, meaning through the community, word of mouth, purchases, subscriptions, other sign-ups etc)

SEO:

SEO- our topic of the hour.. Search Engine Optimization is what it is known as. The best way to explain it is that we are, in a sense, trying to beat the algorithm for Google and other search engines so that the website (client site or your site) is on the right side of the equal sign (literally and figuratively). SEO is accomplished by executing multiple methods like doing continuous updates, keep on researching, staying updated with the algorithm changes, and using resources.... with the main goal of SEO being to help the website obtain a higher PageRank. Or, closest to the top of your search engine result page (SERP), as almost every online user chooses results on the first page. When is the last time you went out to the 16th result page?

SEM:

Search Engine Marketing- similar to SEO as it is used as an umbrella term. However, SEM utilizes PPC techniques and pays for links and advertisements.

**Most people ( do not click on the advertisements and go immediately to the organic results instead, which is what SEO services provide

SERP:

Search Engine Result Page. A SERP is a page of results that come up after you’ve entered your query into the search engine. Basically, exactly what it stands for

SMM:

Social Media Marketing- a form of internet marketing that uses social media platforms and networking websites as a marketing tool to promote a brand or a particular company

SUBDOMAIN:

a subdomain is just an extension of the main domain, in other words, it is a smaller part of a larger domain in the DNS (Domain Name System) hierarchy. For example: if you visit the URL ilovelamp.com, an example of a subdomain would be something like shop.ilovelamp.com, blog.ilovelamp.com, or faq.ilovelamp.com)

TARGET AUDIENCE:

Your target audience consists of everyone who is searching online for products you make or carry, services you provide, the information you've written on your page, etc. SEO aims to reach your target audience and bring these users to your site to generate traffic

URL:

Uniform Resource Locator- an identifier or specified address to locate a resource or specific piece of content on the internet

WHITE HAT SEO:

Just the opposite of Black Hat SEO, white hat SEO refers to compliant and approved tactics that are used to improve a website's SEO. No rules are broken to gain higher ranks on SERPs and only quality links with honest tactics that fall under Google’s guidelines

#seo #internetmarketing #glossary SEOterms digitalmediamarketing

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ctrl-alt-cait · 6 years

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I’m Fat, and People Need To Get Over It.

When you deal with the medical system regularly (and when you deal with the general public, people at your gym, people at your school, your friends, your family, your neighbors, etc…) you probably know what an emphasis everyone puts on weight.

You get measured for BMI in public school PE, your doctor probably has it on your chart, and if you’re over (or under) a specific number, you’re going to hear about it. A lot. And there are a TON of reasons why the BMI chart is not scientifically sound in the first place: a few, summarized, you can read here. There are a lot of issues with basing health off of weight, and “ideal weight” off of health. Systems like this often ignore the amount of muscle, bone, water, and fat that your average human has, for example. And then, beyond that, even when you do body mass composition scans (which are way more helpful for health predictors), these numbers fail to take into account quite a few things which have bearing on your weight.

Sure, it’s easy to tell me that there are a string of numbers which should determine my body fat percentage. It ranges anywhere from 10-12% for essential fat to live, up to 31% as the borderline for acceptable edging on overweight. 32% plus is considered overweight. And this number can be helpful to me, because now I know that my body fat percentage is about 35%, at the lower end of overweight. And that tells me, in a truly scientific manner, what my chubby looking body is made up of. It still doesn’t take into consideration a lot of things we should look at when treating a patient: economic status, ethnic background, regional background, genetics, family history, mental illnesses, physical illnesses, comorbidity, or previous healthcare. You can hypothesize about why I’m fat all day long, why anyone is fat or underweight, why any of us are measured by this metric at all- it’s theoretical, and it’s interesting, until it’s you, and then suddenly it isn’t very fun anymore.

I have been, since I was 11 and hit menarche, overweight. It has fluctuated a bit over the years, as I’ve struggled with various health issues, and realized that I have at least three different competing illnesses that mess with your endocrine system and metabolism. And yet, I was a sports playing child. My parents emphasized eating your veggies, and limiting sweets. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week, now, and eat a pretty low carb, fiber and protein full diet. I cut out foods that I have gastrointestinal sensitivity to. I have my medical issues closely monitored, and my chronic pain is followed carefully. My heart passes all the tests I’ve had done on it. My liver is fine. My blood tests are well within average. My lungs are pretty meh, but that’s linked to chronic bronchitis. I can do 45 minutes of cardio and get that pulse rolling up at “weight loss levels” every time I visit the gym. I have tried super restrictive keto diets, anti-inflammatory diets, low fat diets, low carb diets, food tracking, visiting registered dieticians, taking nutritional classes myself, super calorie counting diets, etc.

But I’m still fat.

And I run into the roadblock of weight every time I see a doctor.

It has taken years for me to understand the true consequence of dealing with weight in the medical field. It’s simply true that overweight patients get worse care. Weight can be a huge issue in the social world. Obesity stigma has wide ranging public health implications. Being overweight makes you predisposed to eating disorders: being underweight does too. We are obsessed with physical appearance, and we ignore mental health quite handily, setting us up for a crisis of health, both mental and physical. I have had doctors I was seeing for entirely different issues, unrelated at all to weight, tell me that my problems would melt away if I would just lose weight. Some of the greatest hits:

The doctor who told me, in highschool, that I should just walk “for four hours a day after school” to force my body to lose weight.

The psychiatrist who told me that my mental health would improve when I graduated high school because “boys will stop being ashamed to admit they like fat girls, and you will finally get some attention, which will improve your self esteem.”

The doctor who, I found out recently, told my parents that gastric bypass would fix all of my problems, while I was in an urgent care clinic for completely un-weight-related complications.

The doctors who told me that my neurological symptoms were caused by weight, and not the permanent damage I had in my shoulder, or the other health conditions I had, and then accused me of lying about my diet.

And, of course, the psychiatrist who told me that it was okay to have an eating disorder for “a while, as long as you lose weight while doing it” when I expressed that being on a super-restrictive diet was giving me horrible physical side effects and what I feared may be long lasting mental ones too.

I have been recommended unsafe supplements, medications, diets, workout regimens, therapies, and lifestyle change plans to lose weight, all under the guise of helping me. Doctor after doctor has returned my truthfully filled out forms about my exercise and diet with doubt, and labeled me untruthful. Because to them, it is impossible- how can someone live healthily and still be overweight? People ignore the complications of healthcare in bodies that don’t fit a particular mold- take my friend who’s lost her appetite and a clinically significant amount of weight without meaning to, and can’t get a doctor to take her symptoms seriously, because isn’t that what women want? To be thinner? Or, for example, the doctor who was recently in the news for ignoring the symptoms of cancer in an obese woman so long that it metastasized and killed her. Our culture disregards the fact that simply because we know some health complications can come from being overweight doesn’t mean we need to stop looking for a definite conclusion. People of all weights need to be tested, and diagnosed accurately, because assuming all health issues stem from being over or underweight in anyone who doesn’t fit the flawed BMI chart is a public health risk we should not be taking. Perhaps part of the issue is that people of lower incomes and certain ethnic groups are more likely to be outside the range of accepted BMIs, and so they don’t have the recourse to demand the kind of testing the wealthy can. Perhaps part of the issue is that, when it comes down to it, doctors are only human, and humans have an inextricable bias to them that is heavily influenced by their culture.

This bias kills people of non-white ethnic groups, marginalized religions, different body types, non-straight sexualities, and gender-nonconforming people all the time. We have to realize, at some point, that doctors can be, and frequently are, wrong. That doesn’t mean you need to give up on allopathic medicine, and live in the woods with your essential oils to cure everything. But it does mean that we have to consider that maybe some people aren’t getting the best care, the care they deserve, because they are fat. There is a link, in certain cases, between being overweight and heightened risk factors for comorbid diseases. You are more likely to have sleep apnea, gout, osteoarthritis, cardiovascular issues, and gallbladder problems. This has, so far, been pretty well linked. But what drives me nuts about the concern-trolling comments on pictures online of overweight women, on articles about loving your body, on research about health, and in person from doctors and everyone else under the sun: that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to be heard, to be cared for, and to be thoroughly diagnosed. Fatness does not come first.

An example of fatness coming first when, for patient quality of life, it should not, would be certain styles of pain management. This is a field of study that I’m very familiar with and have also been a patient in many times. If I go into my doctor and complain of a full body pain that fatigues me, and makes my life difficult and miserable, I would expect to be treated for the pain. I would expect a pain medication to be prescribed, and tests to be done. Which, side note: I wasn’t asking for opiates. I was asking for a longer term anti inflammatory type of pain relief medication that would hopefully also lower system irritation. But, in my personal case, as a fat woman, I was denied pain medication, told to lose weight, and referred to another doctor.

What do I do in the interim? Suffer in pain, because weight loss is not exactly a quick and easy option, especially after all the things I’d already tried? Be miserable, because a doctor didn’t believe me that I’d put in years of good faith effort to be healthy, and passed almost all the other metrics for it? That’s exactly what I did. I suffered in pain, because no one I saw would give me a prescription other than “weight loss”, and I waited patiently for three months to see the other doctor. When I got to the other doctor, she grilled me about my lifestyle habits, accused me of “not wanting to be better”, told me she wouldn’t prescribe pain medication, and only decided to do a physical examination because I literally described my symptoms in textbook detail. She did what could have only been a 3 minute evaluation of my pain symptoms, pronounced that I was correct about my own damn body and did have fibromyalgia, and then reiterated that she wouldn’t prescribe pain medication until I lost some weight.

So we have multiple doctors in this practice network, now, that know full well I have a debilitating pain condition, who will not prescribe me as needed pain medication because I’m too fat.

Well, unfortunately for them, and me, I didn’t lose weight. I couldn’t lose weight. There was absolutely no healthy, no fad or yo-yo diet way for me to lose weight at this point. There still probably isn’t- I take several supplements that can support weight management, but aren’t contraindicated with my other medications. I live my healthy lifestyle. I am still in pain.

I am still fat.

I will always agree that finding the cause of pain, or discomfort, or disease is necessary to a patient for them to live a good quality life. We shouldn’t be out here blindly medicating people. But we also shouldn’t allow people to suffer while standing on a perceived moral high ground, dangling the carrot of relief over them as though somehow, when they jump through a high enough hoop, we will be able to say, “see? It was your fatness all along.” and the problem will be gone. Even in the face of plain diagnostic results, fatness becomes a quicksand to medical intervention. In part, I imagine it has to do with that aforementioned moral high ground. We have come to view weight as a moral marker, beyond even our cultural obsession with looks. There are “bad” foods and “good” foods- no in between, no moderation, no internal discussion about the harmfully dichotomous nature of declaring fatness a moral failing and thinness an idealized dream. We look down upon “fat slobs” and mock them in our comedies, our dramas, our romantic movies. A fat woman is not desirable, and a fat man is a travesty. Conversely, we will also mock thinness when it goes outside of the accepted range- women with “pancake” chests and men with “noodle” arms. This cultural bias is popular, it’s deeply held, and it is dangerously intertwined with the doctoral hands that hold our lives, our health, and our happiness. Even among overweight people, I’m still nowhere near as stigmatized as people a few sizes bigger than I am, and that breaks my heart.

The biggest thing nagging at my mind through all of this, as I talk about all the ways in which I’ve tried my best to fit into the medical idea of what “healthy” is, is that people deserve care regardless of whether or not they are willing to, or are trying to lose weight. People deserve care, love, acceptance no matter whether they are unhappy with their weight or not. Beyond even the issue of how I have been pressured to make many lifestyle changes, most of which I’m happy with, is the issue of people who should not have to conform to any standard but happiness to get a good quality of life. There are only so many plates you can juggle in your life, and I would never begrudge someone spending the hours of daylight I spend on fitting into an allopathic definition of “trying to be healthy” on something more enjoyable and fulfilling for them.

I could philosophize more about being fat, and the many issues we face in this culture: about the lack of affordable and comfortable clothing, the stigma of working out at the gym, the mockery, the bullying, the laughter, the jokes, the culture of abuse that has led me to psychological issue after psychological issue, the body dysmorphia I struggle with, and the healthcare battle ahead. After all that, though, I will still. Be. Fat.

So I would like to cordially invite all of my doctors, and everyone who has had the passing thought, or the gall to mention it to my face, all of the people in the society I have to coexist with, to get over it. Get over my weight. Get over the hump of grilling me on my daily habits, and tsking like some overblown moral judge when I decide I want to eat a cupcake. Get over your reluctance to take me seriously when I come in with a genuine medical issue. Get over your inability to prescribe me medications that would let me live my life happily. Get over the euphemisms for being overweight, and the skirting around your own implicit bias towards fat people. Get over “heavier girls” and “curvy girls” and “husky men”. Get over all the terrible connotations you have towards the word fat, and the immediate need to correct me like you’re doing me a favor when I say that I am, in fact, fat. I get that you want to be kind. But when you treat the reality of my existence like an insult, it can feel kind of shitty.

It’s not an insult. It’s not a psychological disease. It’s not the body dysmorphia talking.

I am just, plain and simple, a fat woman. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. There are so many things to love about my body- it is functional in so many ways. It carries me to school and back. It enables me to learn amazing things, and experience wonderful days. My body can take me through the forest, my legs can get me to the top of a hill. And if yours can’t? That’s just fine too. Body positivity gets a lot of flack for “normalizing and romanticizing unhealthy behaviors”. But hardly anyone (save a few outliers that the world wide powers of the internet will enable you to find) sees the body positivity movement and decides to become unhealthy because of it, not to mention the fact that average sized people rarely receive that kind of feedback for other “unhealthy” behaviors. It is not a bad thing for us to love ourselves, whether we are disabled, or fat, or outside the cultural beauty norms for any other reason. When I look in the mirror, I struggle with my appearance because other people have told me to for so long that it feels like it’s stuck in my very bones. Would it be such a bad thing for me to not feel that way? Would it be bad for children to grow up loving their bodies for being such miraculous things, without struggling to access fair healthcare, job opportunities, and peer groups?

I’m fat, and I’m happy. It’s time for the world to stop worshipping the God of Outward Appearances, and leave my personal healthcare business alone.

#fatphobia #body positivity #chronic illness #medical bias #fat acceptance #body acceptance #positivity #spoonie life #medical journey #personal opinion

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existdissolve · 5 years

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Serendipity in Openness

For most of my life I’ve been a closed door. If you had met me even six months ago (maybe even sooner!), you wouldn’t have met me: you would have met a shadow, a facade, an image. I didn’t project this to deceive or mislead; it was just in my DNA. Or so I told myself.

You’re an introvert. No one is that interested. Make this short and sweet and GET OUT OF THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

This was my modus operandi for interactions with pretty-much-everyone. Not too deep, not too personal, just enough to be pleasant and civil and perhaps even friendly. But that’s where the line is drawn.

Not surprisingly, this kind of approach to relationships and general interactions with the other humans doesn’t lead to a whole lot in the way of fulfilling relationships or meaningful friendships. It’s safe. And boring. Just like I felt myself to be. And so the cycle plays...

But then a funny thing happened. I went to Iceland. While there, I decided to take a 4-day trek in the highlands.

I originally wanted to do the trek completely by myself (please refer to paragraph #1 for a refresher of why). But as I researched it, the time of year I was going turns out to be a pretty good time of year to get yourself dead if you don’t know what you’re doing or where you’re going. So then, I opted for the “guided” version of the trek.

Among others, a major implication of participating in a guided tour is that there are other people who are probably interested in doing the same thing. As it turns out, 15 other people happened to make the same plans that I did. When I found this out, I admit I was a bit hesitant. The thought of hiking, eating, and sleeping with 15 strangers in constant close quarters was not appealing. My mind immediately went to its defaults, trying to come up with strategies to cope for four days of deflection, self-deprecation, and finding ways to be as close to a ghost as possible.

But then something changed.

I’m not entirely sure what inspired the change. Maybe it was the thrill of fulfilling my dream (finally!!!) of going to Iceland, or the excitement of my very first international trip, or quantum something...whatever the reason, a hitherto unknown person inside of me decided to try something radical, something crazy: I would actually try interacting with people!

I know, I know. It’s a very NOVEL idea. But for me, it was scary and intimidating and intriguing and eventually something I committed to do, even though every instinct screamed bloody murder.

I have many blog entries to write about my experiences with the group of people I met and came to befriend. Someday I will get to it. But I don’t exaggerate when I say that the time we shared and the lessons I learned by being open to companionship, to friendship, to the unknown brought about real change within me.

It was such a transformative experience that I brought the experience home with me, and I’m trying very hard every day to put the same principles into practice in all that I do. I’ve found, as the title of this post indicates, that it can lead to serendipity in the big and small moments of life, if only one is only and simply open to it.

A New Pair of Shoes

About a year ago, I desperately needed a new pair of shoes, as the bits of canvas and leather that had valiantly tried to retain their form had recently given up their ghost to the unrelenting ravages of entropy.

Not being one who has ever been accused of having any sense of fashion, I made my semi-annual pilgrimage to the shoe seller to find something of good quality, sensible utility, and (of course) reasonable pricing. I browsed the aisles and aisles of complicated choices, trying to find the one that would check all the boxes.

And then I saw them. This pair of shoes seemed to call out to me. I picked them up, measured their weight, felt the stitchings.

Hmm. This is a NICE pair of shoes. Really nice!

Then I looked at the price.

Oof. Well, I guess not these.

I continued on, searching and searching. Nothing stood out to me, nothing seemed of any particularly good value, and I kept thinking about those damn shoes.

Ok, maybe I’ll just try them on. They’re probably quite uncomfortable.

Wrong. Dead wrong. These shoes were AMAZING. They seemed to cradle my feet perfectly, and the inside lining was soft enough to provide comfort without being stuffy and hot. And when I started actually walking around in them, my fate was sealed.

These are just right. I really like these shoes!

Ah, but the price... They were definitely well above what I wanted to pay for a pair of shoes. I argued with myself for a few minutes, trying to justify and rationalize why I should or shouldn’t buy them.

In this eternal war between head and heart, my heart won one of its rare battles. I bought the shoes. I stopped justifying the purchase to myself. They brought me joy and were something that I liked, even if no one else ever noticed.

That was enough.

On With the Story!

If you’re following along, I have new shoes and a new found commitment to being open to experiences, relationships and whatever else the universe is cooking up. Caught up? Good.

The finale of this story brings me to the present day. In my quest to continue decluttering and de-possessing myself of things, I cleared out two full boxes of clothes. Unlike my books, I had no trouble with this purge; the decisions were easy, not only because none of the clothes I own are of any particular value, but even more because of sheer necessity: fitting all my “daily use” possessions into a small office closet, as opposed to half of an entire walk-in closet :)

I decided to take my newly-boxed clothes to Goodwill. My day at work had been hectic, so I didn’t arrive until nearly closing time. I was afraid that drop-offs had been closed up already, but I rang the bell anyway.

I waited a minute, and then someone emerged from the receiving bay and waved at me.

Ok. Here we go. A chance to be open. To be friendly. To care and see what happens if I do.

The person who greeted me was an incredibly nice guy, probably 15 years younger than me. He smiled, said hello. I returned the smile, and the greeting...and then I just started talking. It wasn’t anything deep and personal; I didn’t say or ask anything profound. I just showed interest, trying to explore the notion of being open to the now.

We didn’t talk for long. A few minutes, maybe. It was enjoyable, just letting the moments happen, not walling off, just seeing what will be. And then something quite strange and remarkable and unexpected happened.

Completely out of the blue, without any contextual provocation, he said something:

Hey...I really dig your shoes.

I looked down at my feet.

Of course. I’m wearing those shoes.

Serendipity

I was surprised. I was shocked, actually. I couldn’t figure out what to say. The old demons in me that tend toward self-deflection and self-deprecation rose up fiercely, sensing danger or risk or whatever in that moment, beseeching me to fly away.

But an even more powerful energy was at work as well. I felt...gratified! Not being someone who gives much thought to fashion or appearance, it hadn’t actually ever occurred to me that receiving such a compliment could be such a validating experience. In that instant, a line was drawn connecting this moment with the silly struggle I had picking out a pair of shoes, and the compliment was a rewarding validation of the personal value I had imbued in my selection.

Ok, look, I understand: this isn’t life-transformative stuff. It’s just a compliment about a pair of shoes. But for me, in that moment, it was revelatory of a deeper principle and truth. If I had gone to defaults, if I had walled off, if I had just kept my head down and completed the logistics of the transaction, I would have missed something. That something wasn’t monumental, but it was life-giving in its own small way.

I am learning that this openness, this willingness to be present, this active seeking out of opportunities to connect...it carries with it an energy and power that is difficult to pin down or articulate, but is nevertheless impossible to deny. As I (imperfectly) seek to pursue this stance, I am daily finding moments of serendipity and happiness that would have otherwise been out of reach. And the best part is that these moments of surprise emerge organically; I don’t have to work myself to death trying to manufacture them. The energy of openness paves the way, smoothes the path, and swings wide the doors to vistas of possibilities that would otherwise be inaccessible.

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