#kelce because he loves rafe and genuinely likes barry

[keyh0use]

Ward's voice cuts through the charged atmosphere like a knife through warm butter, only less pleasant. Conversations momentarily pause as guests follow the sound, curious eyes landing on the Cameron patriarch before seeking out Rafe in the crowd, standing frozen beside his small group of friends. "I'll be right back," mumbles Rafe, addressed directly to Barry. The dealer gives a bored nod. "Yup, be waitin' on ya'," he says. Without further notice, Rafe swiftly leaves the circle to join his waiting father, shaking hands with older businessmen while effortlessly slipping into conversation with them. "Really?" Topper asks in disbelief, brows drawn and forehead creased as he watches Barry watch Rafe.

Barry takes a sip of the expensive alcohol he's been nursing for the last half hour, cringing once more at the bitter taste. "Don't know what you're on about," he answers.

Both kooks turn to face one another in sync, the blonde's hand curled around Kelce's wrist. "I must leave you, my love," professes Topper dramatically, giving his friend a sickeningly sweet look, all wide-eyed.

"I'll await your return with bated breath, my sweet prince." Kelce caresses Topper's cheek with his knuckles, before whispering scene, the two turning back to face barry.

"That's what you and Rafe sound like to us," informs Topper.

Barry hisses, "Like hell—"

"Just admit you're in love with Rafe, you should feel proud you might have a smidgen of a chance to date up," Topper continues, cutting the other man off without care. "Shut up," snaps Barry, head on a swivel as he scans the crowd for any obvious eavesdroppers. Kelce interrupts the inevitable bickering bound to follow to say, "I kinda agree, bro. Not with the classist comment—Topper—but maybe you could...oh, I don't know, give Rafe a hint, at least." "Nah, told y'all already to cut that shit out," Barry firmly replies, jaw tensing as he repeats the same pathetic truth for the dozenth time: "He don't feel that way 'bout me, aight?" Topper's laugh is obnoxious and explosive, taking both men off guard. "Is that what you think? I mean, really?"

"Dude," Kelce chides quietly, elbowing his friend in the ribs.

"Oh right." The blonde rubs at the sore spot with a grimace before fixing his attention back on Barry, sarcastically saying, "Rafe feels completely normal about you."

The dealer grapples for a response, rolling the now empty glass between fingers by the long stem. Confessing how he feels has been a topic of discussion with the annoying kooks for several months now, the two hounding him on Rafe's boat or in some obscure corner at a house party the moment he's left alone, like little well-dressed vultures.

Usually it's tolerable, sometimes even amusing but right now, surrounded by wealthy families and Rafe's whole damn family—Barry's tailored suit starts to feel too tight, the collar choking him out and sweat collecting in warm spots.

Barry's startled out of his thoughts by an arm being slung over his shoulders.

"Hey," Rafe greets his friends first, then tilts his chin down to talk to Barry. "Hey, so that fucking sucked. Told dad we were just leaving before he called me over, so we're good to go, if you wanna..."

"Yeah. Yup, let's get outta here," Barry answers immediately, not bothering to say goodbye to Topper and Kelce before dragging his boy towards the front entrance to gather their coats.

Once Barry and Rafe are out of earshot, Topper turns to grab Kelce by the front of his purple button-up. "This will never end! They're going to pine over one another forever and we'll have to listen to it," he complains.

"I know, buddy, I want Rafe to be happy too."

"What? No, that's not it," Topper dismisses. "I just don't want to be trapped with Rafe out on the ocean, listening to him drunkenly drone on and on about what he wants to do to Barry's face again. Here's a hint: it got progressively less PG the more he drank."

#topper and kelce are the biggest rafebarry shippers #kelce because he loves rafe and genuinely likes barry #topper because nothing brings him more joy than watching rafe squirm and he likes saying he knows a drug dealer #this comes from a document I've titled scraps of writing #where as the name suggests I keep scraps of writing that don't have a home in any fic #I have so many of these #I feel bad for them just sitting there #I <3 dialogue #can you tell? #barry x rafe #rafe cameron #rafe x barry #rafebarry #rafe obx #barry (obx) #barry obx

[starfxkr]

I’m so sorry I love him but Rafe literally has no friends except for Barry and that alone is questionable… it’s so fascinating to see him unravel because of a lack of a support system

Like you’ve stated jj and Rafe are so so similar jj just has the pogues to keep him in check (and lack of power/resources which obviously plays a part) if it’s possible for jj to maintain a good support system why couldn’t Rafe find himself one outside of Kelce and topper who are just there and terrible as well just not psychotic

rafe does not have a healthy view of relationships everything is based on status/transactional

if his relationship with his own father is highly transactional how can he make real friends? hes friends with topper mainly to keep tabs on sarah (imo) and kelce is a yes man. he uses them to har some semblance of power

id also say barry is his truest friend and TBH i think rafe feels that way too but again hes not normal? but with barry he’s not kissing rafes ass, in face him and barry frequently go thru power struggles as their relationship develops and theres just something very compelling abt them which is why ppl ship them even jokingly because rafe can be his true self with barry, something he cant with anyone else not even his dad like despite barry mocking him its telling that the first person—outside of those who witnessed it— he told about peterkin was barry and on a level genuinely wanted his help/advice

but again barry and rafes relationship is hard to define and barrys….himself so he doesnt have the benefit that jj has of having friends who care about his well being. his only friend sold him out the second he could and that adds to his warped view of friendship and love (i dont think rafe loves barry in any capacity but their relationship factors into rafes other relationships)

and even with jjs clear resentment of kie (who i think would be the closest parallel to rafes weird relationship with barry) he still views her as someone he has in his corner when shit gets rough like if john b and pope arent there he still has kie and she wouldnt steer him wrong

rafe doesnt have topper or kelce forreal so he goes to barry. who steers him wrong everytime

#✨.txt #meta

[cherienymphe]

What were your fav and least fav moments in season 3 <3

Ok so (spoilers below the cut)

Faves:

Rafe. Literally Rafe. He was just so funny and such a little shit and one of my favorite things about the season

Riara!!! I loved their interactions so much and when he was like "I always liked you Kie" I went what is actually happening right now cause 😭

Jiara! They hurt so good tbh. The difficult and angsty scenes between them were needed imo. I knew it wasn't going to be smooth sailing and it was difficult watching the way her parents treated him and basically threw his own fears about him and kie in his face and my God the self sabotage was driving me insane and they kept highlighting the differences in their classes but they were cute

Cleo. Literally just Cleo but especially her and Pope. I was surprised by how much I loved them because it seemed like OBX was like yeah let's put the two leftover black characters together but unfortunately they were right and they were cute. Hashtag black love I guess 😭

Cleo and JJ. Not what you think. Cleo's genuine fascination with JJ was hilarious to watch. It was like every time he opened his mouth she'd look at him like he was the most bizarre and mind stumping creature she'd ever met. Also them being two sides of the same coin and equally chaotic was everything

Ward dying!!! I rejoiced so loud it was embarrassing

John B reuniting with his dad but the buck stops there (see least fave things for more)

Y'all gone hate me for this one but I was actually here for Sarah and Tooper? And I do not know why tbh. Can't even tell you. Definitely don't hate her and John B. I think I just enjoyed the drama of it all.

Rafe and Barry. Loved seeing the murder boyfriend together again.

Just the mere knowledge that Rafe was getting it in. Good for him. Good for Sophia.

Rafe and Rose fighting. That was very hilarious to me. "You missed"

Everyone looked great

That motorcycle thing JJ did that made my Kitty purr

Topper going off the deep end in a jealous rampage

Pope telling Rafe it's not over like yeah. I look forward to round 4

Kelce 😭 I actually missed him

Topper helping them steal the "cross" like what was he even doing there? It was so funny to me because you have the whole gang and then...topper 😭

Rafe almost choking his dad out. That was great. Also when he almost killed him. That was a moment

Friar Cameron

Least fave:

WARD. FUCKING WARD. I wanted him OUTTA THERE from day one. How he managed to be so self righteous while sucking so bad I do not know

The fact that Rafe didn't kill ward. That was highly disappointing but alas

Big John. Just a horrible father. Found myself wishing he'd stayed missing.

They were putting the boys THROUGH it my gawd. Idk if they were like yeah we tortured tf out of Sarah last season so this season let's make it even. I mean Pope finding out Rafe melted the cross? Almost going on a villain arc? JJ having no home and nowhere to go and being treated like shit by Kie's dad? John B almost dying? Being forced to be an accessory to murder? Getting cheated on while literally going through hell? My goodness

The show is TV MA so how tf you're going to show Sophia waking up in Rafe's bed half naked and show Rafe getting dressed but don't show us what went down in said bed. Why am I watching Sarah and John B about to do the so but I can't get a crumb for Rafe?

Really wanted to see Rafe give Sophia that tour. No I won't shutup about it

Kie's parents. It's amazing how I found myself thinking they'd grown on me because surely it's hard trying to be a parent to Kie with everything going on but then they just weren't listening to her at all and literally forcibly shipping her off was sooo. And then for them to be celebrating their discovery at the end like they didn't doubt her and JJ the whole time was so ugh

#asks

[rafe-cameron]

common misconceptions and thoughts i would like to clear up and say:

rafe wasn’t the one who talked topper into doing cocaine. he bragged about him, asked him to hang out, and the one chick and kelce were the ones who talked him into doing it

rafe didn’t attack pope because he was a pogue. he went after him the way he did to avenge and protect topper because pope and his friends pulled a gun on him and rafe cares about topper too much to let it slide. and topper knew he did which is why he tried to distract him and get him to leave beforehand

rafe wasn’t even at the party so it means topper went to rafe after the math to talk to him about it and vent about the fight and the gun. rafe’s circle is small and he only hangs out with topper, kelce, or he’s alone or with barry, so it wouldn’t be a “through the grape vine” situation. topper went to him

rafe is the one who always hears topper out about his mom and home problems and his relationship problems with sarah, who rafe says is bad for him anyway because she’s a cheater

topper is the one who stepped in to keep barry from hurting rafe

i think about them so much. i love the way they genuinely care about each other

#outer banks #obx #rafe cameron #topper obx #topper thorton #drew starkey #austin north #jj maybank #john b routledge #john b obx #jj obx #rudy pankow #chase stokes

[maybankiara]

THESE WICKED GAMES WE PLAY

pairing: Rafe Cameron x Implied Fem!Reader

summary: Barry decides he needs to get money back from Rafe, one way or another. When you become a part of the bargain, Rafe decides that’s enough.

w/c: 3.2k

t/w: kidnapping, canon-typical violence, toxic relationship

a/n: this is basically something straight out of an action movie (...or obx). not proofread so will probably contain typos, but i’ll get around to doing that. it’s midnight. sorry about the formatting, i did this on my phone.

masterlist | tag list

written for @whormotional

Your boyfriend deals coke, alright. It's something that passes by unacknowledged for the sake of whatever relationship you're trying to keep in place, with your college and his college and whatnot.

When it comes to dating Rafe Cameron, "easy" is the last word you'd use to describe it.

(You often wonder - why stay? What is it that's keeping you around? Then you see him lying in bed next to you, eyes closed and messy hair covering them, and you see the boy you fell in love with. You hope he's still somewhere in there, waiting his turn on the surface.)

(It's hope.)

That exact hope is what you're clinging to as you walk through the cut, looking for your boyfriend. It's summer and the North Carolina heat is dry, palpable, as your shoes are already warm against the pavement.

A kook is not welcome to the Cut.

You keep one of your hands in your pocket, the other one to your ear, dial tone turning to voicemail for what feels like the hundredth time.

'Fuck.'

Another five minute break. You slip your phone back into your pocket, turning on some music to tune out the voices of people around you. They all seem to be taunting you, even if you don't stick out like a sore thumb without your fancy car - even if you know nobody is taking notice of you.

Rafe doesn't do this often. If he plans to go MIA for the day, he'll shoot you a text in the morning and let you know. He'll call you in the middle of the day to see if you're doing okay.

He'll care.

Well, not today.

It's nearly eight in the evening and you haven't heard from him since late last night. As far as you know, neither have Topper nor Kelce. The Camerons don't know shit about Rafe anyway, so that's a dead end in the start.

It doesn't warrant you searching for him through the middle of fucking nowhere. The centre of the Cut, the part of it that's looking semi-decent, is long behind you. Your feet are uncomfortable on a gravel road, grass too dry to grow anywhere

The next few moments happen in slow motion and fast forward at once. You feel a hand on your bicep, and you see that you're standing genuinely in the middle of nowhere, and the air feels cold in your throat. The song in your ears has ended and all you hear is the hum that's an aftermath of loud music, and someone's footsteps on the gravel.

The hand gripping you spins you in place, and you feel warm metal against your back.

You don't fight back. You freeze.

The person in front of you is your height, and he's got a bandanna covering the lower half of his face. You see that his hair is black and tied up in a ponytail, and you look into his eyes, but all you remember about them is how fearful they make you feel.

Another metal is pressed against you, this time cold, and on the bare flesh of your neck.

'Get in the van.'

A door slides open and you're dragged into the van, frozen still. The man jumps in behind you and someone holds your hands behind your back. The engine hums and the door slides shut, and the moment the metal blocks daylight, your brain catches up.

'LET ME OUT! YOU FUCKIN' PSYCHOS! WHAT THE FUCK!'

You scream your lungs out and push forward, rashly enough that the person holding you back doesn't have time to harden their grip, and you slip free. In front of you is the man with the bandanna, and all you see is your right hand pushing into his chest as your left reaches for the door. He falls -- you open the door -- the van swerves, and you fall back into the arms of the person holding you earlier.

'LET ME GO!' you scream again, reaching forward like a tied bull, but the grip is tight this time around.

'Shut the fuck up, bitch,' says the one with the bandanna, rising from the floor.

The road is bumpy and you keep fighting to maintain your balance. He wipes the corner of his mouth where a trickle of blood dripped from, and you wonder for a moment if you hit his face, or he got it in the fall.

'Let. Me. Go.'

'Aren't you going to bargain, you fuckin' kook bitch?' The bandanna is off, you notice only now, and you have a vague feeling as if you've seen his face before; your body goes stiff. 'Yeah, I know who you are. Country Club's pussy.'

Your brain works as if on speed -- Country Club. Rafe. You've heard only one person call him that.

The lump in your throat is heavy to swallow, but you do it anyway, straightening your back as much as the van in motion allows you.

The urge to spit in his face is almost too much to take.

'Rafe will kill you, Barry.'

The grin with the golden teeth he flashes you makes your stomach churn. Chills run down your spine, but you keep your teeth clenched, and eyes full of spite.

All it does is make him laugh. 'He doesn't have it in him.'

There's something cold on your throat; cold and sharp. Barry slides the blade across, pressing just tight enough to make you feel the hints of pain, but not enough to hurt you.

You keep your chin high, even if the tremble has already betrayed you.

'Your boyfriend owes me money,' he says. His accent is dirty--pogue--and sleazy in a way that makes you want to throw up. 'A lot of it.'

'You know he's going to pay you back. He always pays you back.'

The pressure on your throat increases in a moment. Your whole body clenches and you bite down on the inside of your lip, feeling the blade cut into the skin.

'Oh, he gon' pay back, alright. Where is he?'

You stare at him for a moment, waging your options. 'I don't know. I haven't heard from him the whole day.'

Barry's eyes squint as he leans into your face, close enough for you to smell tobbaco and weed coming out of his mouth. The pressure on your neck dissipates, enough to let you breathe.

'Fucker better not be dead in a ditch.'

'He'll pay you back,' you promise.

He glances you up and down, and you feel as if someone is throwing filth all over you. He licks his lips as they stretch into a grin, and he nods to himself. 'Yeah. One way or another.'

If there is a God, you pray to him.

--

Rafe is losing his mind. He knows he's fucked up.

There was a call-in last night, a delivery to some of his college friends on the mainland. They were throwing a massive house party, and a lot of people needed a supplier, and it was easy to just call him.

He caught the last ferry over, drove three hours, all without telling you because he knew you'd worry -- and there should've been no reason for you to worry.

He wasn't going to stay, or drink, or do coke.

But he did. He did all three of the things he told himself he wouldn't.

By the time he woke up, it was nearly three in the afternoon, his phone had been smashed the night before, and there was no way to get a hold of you. He sat into his car and shot straight for Kildare, looking for you at home and every place he could find, until it was Topper who told him you'd went looking for him.

In the Cut.

A certain kind of darkness he'd never felt before washed over him. You weren't answering your phone when Topper called, and it didn't take long for Rafe to get back into his car and ignore all the speed limits on his way to the cut. He didn't care about being seen -- all he wanted was to be wrong. To roll up into Barry's backyard and for Barry to have no idea where you could be.

That's what he wanted. And when he got there, and no one was there, he waited. He'd wait until fucking Barry came back and he can make sure he didn't do anything with you.

Rafe fucked up, but he knew that if Barry had done anything to you, he'll fuck up to the point of bloody hands and time behind bars.

And he wouldn't hesitate.

So when Barry doesn't answer his phone and Rafe sees his van roll up, but it's someone else in the driver's seat, and the van is rocking unnaturally, the darkness falls over his eyes again.

He doesn't see red. He doesn't see black.

He sees Barry's face when he walks out of the van with you behind him, a drip of dark red on your neck, and he lunges.

--

You don't comprehend Rafe until he's at Barry's throat. It's a flash of blonde and a polo shirt and mutli-coloured shorts, and then Barry's down and you recognize the grunts and the hair and the clothes, and then you're screaming his name.

Someone comes behind you and places a hand over your mouth, grabbing your tied hands with another. Someone else jumps out of the van and onto Rafe, knocking him into the floor.

Your screams are muffled, but you bite the hand on your mouth and they're loud again, until you're hit in the face. The pain is numbing -- dull and painful sound of flesh against flesh echoing in your skull. You've got a hand covering your screams again, and you stumble backwards.

Next to you, on the ground, Rafe is pushing himself up with a streak of red coming out of the left side of his hair. He looks at you and you see the rage and the fear all in one -- "Y/N.'

You try to say something, but it hurts when you move your mouth, so all that comes out is a whimper.

He reaches for you but a guy smacks him on the side of his face. Rafe stumbles towards you, hands outstretched, but the loss of balance is enough for the guy to pin him against the wall, gun to his temple.

You scream.

The guy hits you again, and you smell copper.

Barry gets himself off the ground and presses the heel of his palm to his temple, and a mixture of blood and dirt remains on it. He spits blood and wipes his mouth, wiping the rest of his face with the bandanna. His left eye is swollen and there are a few cuts from Rafe's rings scattered here and there, bruises already starting to form.

You glance at Rafe, and you see him struggling to get to you. Even with a gun to his head -- he doesn't stop trying.

Another whimper leaves your mouth and the guy holding you pulls your head back, to the point where it's painful, and Rafe screams 'HEY! LET GO OF HER YOU FUCKIN'---'

Barry slaps him across the face. You hear skin snap and Rafe grunts in pain.

'Shut your damn mouth, Country Club.' He comes closer and takes over the gun, letting the other guy hold Rafe in place. 'Your girl over there seems to be ready for some f--'

'I've got your money.'

'Now we're talkin'.'

A satisfied grin stretches across Barry's features, whereas Rafe's neck tenses, veins looking as if they're about to burst. He glances at you for a second, as if he's trying to tell you something, but you don't get it -- you're barely standing on your feet.

The gun travels from Rafe's forehead to underneath his chin, pushing his head backwards.

No. You surge forward, the moment's weakness allowing to to take two steps closer until Barry waves his free hand and there's something cold and circular pressed into the back of your head, and you whimper again.

Rafe twitches, but is pushed back.

'Nu-uh, that ain't how we doin' this. Gimme money, and y'all loverbirds walk outta here alive.'

The threat makes your bones shudder; 'Please.'

You don't know if you're begging Rafe or Barry or God, but one of them has got to answer.

Rafe catches your eye and nods at you, tears streaming down his face. He's no less afraid than you are -- somehow, that hurts even more. 'I won't let anything happen to you.'

'Yadda, yadda, yadda. Pay up, Country Club.'

'It's in the glove compartment,' Rafe says.

'Everything?'

'Half.' Rafe tenses again, and you see a flash of bravery across his features. 'I'll give you the rest when you let her go.'

Your boyfriend laughs, a maniacal laugh you've never heard before -- desperate and high-pitched; the laughter of someone who laughs in the face of danger.

The gun on your head moves from back to the side; you can almost hear it sliding.

It's even colder on the bare skin of your temple.

'If you hurt her, you'll never get the other half of the money,' says Rafe, poison dripping from his voice.

Barry contemplates this for a second. 'You're not the one in position of demands.'

'I swear.'

For a moment, Barry's moment tenses on the trigger finger, safety off. Your chest tightens and you're convinced he's going to shoot, and you can't even move -- but he doesn't.

The breath that passes your lips is shaky.

'I know where y'all live,' concludes Barry. 'You either gimme the money now, or I come take it.' He glances at you, checking you up and down, and Rafe squirms in the guy's arms at the sight, a hand covering whatever he's saying. 'I won't let her off easy come next time.'

You watch as the guy lets go of Rafe, now only Barry's gun pressed to his chin keeping him in place. He walks over to the truck, opens the passenger door and the glove compartment, and takes out a wad of cash.

Some part of your heart sinks, and seeing the way Rafe is looking at you, he knows it, too.

The cash is placed on Barry's empty hand. 'Damn, kid. Y'all delievered.'

'Let her go.'

'You're not in the position to make demands.'

'You promised---'

'And I shit on my promises, wipe my ass with 'em, make sure it's sparkly clean,' snaps Barry. The gun is cocked, a crook in Barry's elbow as he's inches of Barry's face. 'You better give me the other half or it ain't gon' be promises I wipe my ass with.'

Rafe gives in. He tells them about the secret compartment he had installed in the back of the truck, the one not even you knew about. There's a wad of cash in there equal in size to the one Barry gave to someone for counting. You're shaking, trembling, feeling your knees are about to give in; all you can feel is that, and the gun pressed to the side of your head.

It ends up being almost a third more than Rafe owed him, but Barry takes it all anyway.

They let you go first. You've still got a gun to your head as you roll down the passenger window and get into the truck. Barry promises Rafe to blow your brains out in case of any funny business, and leads Rafe to the driver's side.

He places a hand over yours, but you pull it back.

You see his heart shatter.

When the guns are away, Rafe drives the two of you out of the Cut, just driving around the island. You don't want to go home -- he doesn't want to go home. For a while, you don't talk, save for the one time he asks you if you're okay. You shake your head and he says he's sorry, but sorry won't change anything.

Sorry won't take away the feeling of a knife to your throat, or a hand hitting your cheek, or the gun ready to bang.

He pulls up at a gas station, refills the thank, goes into the store. He comes out with a bag full of snacks and two bottles of water, looking as if nothing happened.

'How can you be so calm?'

Rafe starts the car and comes onto the road, taking a long time to answer. 'Because you're okay.'

You feel like you've been slapped in the face. 'Is this a normal thing for you? Being beaten to a pulp, a gun to your head?'

'No,' he says. While you can tell it's the truth, it still doesn't make it okay, how easy he's done this. 'I fucked up, Y/N.'

'You fucked up, alright. Where did you get that money from? Did you go rob a bank today, that's why you were gone and I was the one who got my ass handed to me?'

'Please don't do this.'

'Do what?' You watch him avoid eye contact; you watch the arch of his brows, the slope of his nose, the curve of his Cupid's bow, and wonder if you'll ever be able to see him the same way. 'Rafe, you're a fuckin' drug dealer. I don't want to have anything to do with that.'

'You don't have to,' he offers, speeding up a little. 'We could just keep separate---'

'WELL HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT SO FAR!'

Rafe swerves and the truck hits the side of the road, jumping you to a startle. You clutch onto the handrail above your head -- Rafe turns the wheel to the other side -- a car coming in your direction honks and moves out of your way -- Rafe gets the car in control.

Your heart is beating fast, and you're done.

'Take me home.'

'Y/N---'

'No,' you say, your hand a barrier between the two of you. 'Just... don't. I've tried to ignore that part of you, but I'm over that.'

'You're breaking up with me,' he realises.

(It shouldn't hurt; but hope died when you saw the boy you loved on top of another man, beating the shit out of him.)

'Yes.'

He doesn't argue -- knowing him, he'll call you later, when he's given you space and you've had the chance to calm down.

You know each other too well.

(Hope died when he was the reason why there were moments when you thought you wouldn't see your family again.)

He drops you off at your home, doesn't even turn the engine off. His hand catches yours before you leave and he says he's sorry once more, with tears staining his cheek, but you shake your head and rip your hand out of his.

This has been a long time coming; you can no longer live in a lie.

(The Rafe you fell in love with is gone.)

★

tagging. @jjtheangel @teenwaywardasgardian @thelocalpogue @jjmaybanky @sacredto @chasefreakinstokes @drewstarkey @thatsme-johnbookerroutledge @margaritatimebaybee @outrbank @yourlocalauthor @justawilddreamerchild @snkkat @mynamewontwork13 @sunwardsss @storiesbymads @koufaxx @drewstarkeyobx @ilovejjmaybank @jjmaybanksbaby @mahleeyuh @starkeymarkey @nicolewithasoul @kiarawilliams127 @butgilinsky @bricksatanakinswindow @starlightstarkey @copper-boom @starrystarkey93 @hotel-colson @stargazingstarkey @outerbanksbro @anonymous0writer @annedub @outerbongs @jjandreidsgirl @jjmaybanqs​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @maybanksbaby​ @yelyahryan

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #outer banks #obx #obx fic #outer banks imagine #obx imagine #my fic #my imagine #f: obx #c: rafe #tuserscout #bricksatans

[outerbonks]

selfish - rafe cameron

 i posted this yesterday but it formatted all weird and annoyed me so i took it down but here it is again. please enjoy and lemme know what you think!

based on selfish by madison beer 

summary; your relationship with Rafe isn’t healthy, you both know it, but you don’t know how to let the boy go.

word count: 1.8k

warning(s): swearing, mentions of drugs, toxic relationship

masterlist ♡

Boy, you're such a lost cause, now your name is crossed off

How you gonna fix this? You can't even fix yourself

Each day it got harder and harder to give yourself reasons to stand by your boyfriend, Rafe.

He was out of control, if he wasn't coked up and out of his mind he was blowing his top on pogues who did nothing to deserve his rage.

You loved him so much, you truly did but you couldn't watch as he destroyed himself and took you down with him any longer.

He'd been warned by you months ago that you just couldn't do it anymore. You were sick of the constant arguing, sick of his absolute lack of regard for anyone other than himself but more than anything you were sick of the disregard he showed towards you.

Rafe always begged you to stay, claiming that he needed you, that he'd get clean and fix himself up for you.

Months went by and nothing changed, yet the boy still promised you time and time again that he'd fix the mess he'd made of himself and the love that you shared.

It was almost two years, that I chose to spend here

All alone on New Years, thinking what the hell?

Your relationship with Rafe began when you were seventeen and he was eighteen and it was absolutely wonderful, it had been at first at least.

Now you were nearing your nineteenth birthday and the man who called himself your boyfriend hadn't returned any of your calls or texts in almost three days.

On a massive coke bender with his impressionable friends, you imagined, not that it was anything new.

He always did this, disappeared for days without a word and then reappeared when he overdid himself in a mess of tears and weightless apologies.

Sobs filled with "baby, I love you."s and "I'm so sorry"s and "please don't leave me. I need you."s

And they got you every time.

He'd miss dates, events that were important to you and you'd get mad and shout a: "What the hell is the point anymore?" He would break down and hold you like you were the most important thing to him in the whole world and you'd believe him when he told you just that, despite how he'd proved on more than one occasion that you weren't even more important than a bump of coke with Topper or Kelce.

I don't wanna break your thread and needle tryna stitch you, but I can't, I refuse

Every time he came to you undone you tried with everything you had to put him back together again, even if that meant tearing yourself apart to do so.

As it began happening more and more often you couldn't even remember the last time he'd kissed you just because he thought you looked pretty and not because he wanted to make sure you were still real and beside him. 

You weren't his girlfriend anymore, you were his therapist.

Enough was enough, you had to put yourself first, if you didn't soon enough you'd have no more of yourself to give. Everything would be gone. He'd have wrung you dry.

Shouldn't love you but I couldn't help it

Had a feeling that you never felt it

I always knew that you were too damn selfish

It wasn't healthy and you both knew it. You shouldn't have stayed for as long as you have, he was bad for you but you were hooked. He was your drug and the damage he was causing proved that he was just as bad for your health. Yet you ignored it time and time again.

It's not to say that Rafe didn't love you because he did, he does. But he loved you in his own twisted way. He wouldn't move mountains for you and he wouldn't drop anything to help you but he'd just about die without you.

His love for you was selfish. It benefits him but never you. He could see the effect it had on you but how could he let you go when he needed you? Letting you go wasn't in the cards, you made him feel love and if you got hurt in the process then that was all the more reason why he couldn't give you up.

The knowledge that you loved him so much that you were willing to endure so much pain to make him happy fueled him. 

Don't know why I looked the other way, I wanted you to change

Shouldn't love you but I couldn't help it, I always knew that you were too damn selfish

It was partially your fault. You saw right from the moment he first kissed you that he was doing it for the wrong reasons. Ignoring red flags had become a daily occurrence for you.

Giving up on him was something you didn't want to do, not in the slightest. You figured that he'd change, that he'd get better, that he'd treat you better.

He never did, never even tried. 

But still, how could you just ignore all the good in favour of highlighting all of the bad?

His smile, the gentle touches he gives you when he thinks nobody else is looking, the way he kisses you like his life depends on it- you couldn't abandon all of it, you didn't want to.

And maybe that made you the selfish one, but you couldn't fool yourself anymore.

I bet you thought you gave me real love, but we spent it all in nightclubs

All you ever wanna do is lie, why you always such a Gemini?

Rafe's idea of a romantic date was dragging you to a kook party on figure eight, leaving you alone to deal Barry's content and then finding you hours later high as balls and begging to you fuck him in some random bedroom. 

He genuinely believed he was some kind of king when it came to the way he treated you. He brought you to parties, made you popular, heightened your social status among the other kooks, but that was all he thought mattered. Getting everyone else's approval.

You allowed him to reflect his warped sense of love onto you, he gave you what he thought was real love when really it was just the approval of your peers.

He thought real love equaled approval. It was as simple as that.

That wasn't what you wanted though, you wanted trust and tender moments, things Rafe didn't give to you unless it played in his favor.

Trust was an issue, he didn't trust you to know where he was going and to keep your mouth shut about it so he'd lie, lie, lie and lie some more.

Calling him out on it never helped either.

"Y/n why can't you just trust me for once?" He'd ask, throwing his arms around angrily.

"Because all you do is fucking lie to me Rafe! How can you expect me to trust you?" You'd scream back, tears threatening to spill from your eyes out of frustration from having the same fight over and over again.

He'd see your tears and he'd ease up, "Baby, don't cry." He’d say softly and then he'd pull you into him, "I don't ever want to make you cry." Then he'd look at you with those pretty eyes and kiss you softly and just like that you were back in his trap, as if nothing was wrong to begin with.

Baby, who you tryna run from? Me or all your problems?

You know you will never solve 'em, you don't even know yourself

Every now and then he'd push you away, tell you that he didn't need you anymore, that he'd be perfectly fine on his own.

And so you'd leave and he'd go MIA for a while but ultimately end you right back where he started, at your doorstep begging you to take him back. You always did, he knew you'd never turn him away. 

"Why do you do that?" You'd ask quietly, your head resting on his chest as he twirled a strand of your hair with his fingers.

He'd look at you confused, "Why do I do what, baby?"

You'd furrow your eyebrows and tilt your head up to look at him with a saddened expression, before you'd answer him pathetically, "Run away from me."

And then he'd sigh but wrap his arms around you tightly, "I just needed to figure myself out. You know I always come back." He'd try to reassure you but the statement only caused your blood to run cold at the thought of reliving the situation again and again.

"And did you? Figure yourself out, I mean." You'd question as softly as possible, always hoping the answer would be yes.

But he'd only shrug and pull you up to be face to face with him, he'd bring his hand to your cheek so tenderly and stare at you with an affection neither of you knew he was capable and he'd whisper out, "I don't know. But I just know that my head doesn't spin so much when I'm with you."

But it's not possible

Plus I'm not responsible for your self-made obstacles

Put my heart in the hospital

"I can't do this with you anymore, ok Rafe? I've had enough." You told him, swallowing the lump in your throat as he shook his head in refusal.

"What do you mean? What did I do?" He asked, tone demanding an answer as he took a step towards you.

Letting out a sigh of distress at his oblivious nature you frantically motioned between the two of you with your shaking hand, "This! This isn't healthy! All we do is fight and make up! I can't do it anymore."

Your voice was weak but absolute, he wasn't going to charm his way out of this one, you wouldn't let him.

"Baby, I-" he said softer, attempting to pull you in, but you took a step back and shook your head.

"Don't. I don't want to be your emotional support dog anymore, Rafe." His eyes widened and his jaw clenched, this wasn't happening.

"I'm trying to fix it! We've been over this!" He was shouting now and it brought up an anger in you, that excuse was old and you were sick of it.

"It's been two fucking years, Rafe! You haven't even tried! I can't possibly give any more of myself to you and yet you give me nothing." You yelled at first, but your voice lowered in volume at the end as you looked into his tear filled eyes.

"But I need you." Rafe choked out, voice cracking along with your heart, you couldn't stand this.

"I love you. But you're selfish and it hurts too much being used by you, so I can't let you anymore." Tears were falling down your face rapidly and you had to bite your lip to contain a sob.

"I'm sorry." Was all he could say, he couldn't deny what you said, it was true and you were right but he couldn't let you go. You were all he knew.

"We can figure this out, baby. We always do." He added, attempting to grab a hold of you again, nerves taking over.

But you shook your head, "Not this time."

Shouldn't love you but I couldn't help it.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #drew starkey #obx rafe #outer banks #outer banks x reader