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#just like when we killed bronyas mom.
divorcedyaoi · 9 months
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march is so funny. like time and place girl
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busghost · 1 year
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I posted 1,299 times in 2022
198 posts created (15%)
1,101 posts reblogged (85%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@cloud-ya
@flyingfudgenuggets
@caydencrypted
@valliass
@snow-n-cream
I tagged 1,195 of my posts in 2022
Only 8% of my posts had no tags
#honkai impact - 1,082 posts
#raiden mei - 149 posts
#kiana kaslana - 138 posts
#fu hua - 120 posts
#herrscher of the void - 76 posts
#senti - 61 posts
#murata himeko - 57 posts
#bronya zaychik - 48 posts
#bianka ataegina - 48 posts
#hi3 lore - 43 posts
Longest Tag: 136 characters
#and i feel bad cause new players don't get all the events that were so fun and really made the 6 st. freya characters feel like a family
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Pardo in lore: I cannot fight, I am weak like a small baby
Pardo in gameplay: I have replaced half the elemental supports in Memorial Arena
231 notes - Posted April 28, 2022
#4
Happy Pride Month to Honkai Impact
Kiana and Mei
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Bronya and Seele
See the full post
248 notes - Posted June 1, 2022
#3
I dislike that the recent reveal has led to some people calling Kiana K-423, so they can call Bianka Kiana instead. They both already have names you know?
252 notes - Posted February 4, 2022
#2
do we know what honkai beast each flamechaser has in them?
Not every single one but for quite a few!
Kevin has genes from the Emperor-class Honkai beast Parvati, the boss in MA and the Honkai beast Theresa killed when she was only 1 year old. Parvati has ice powers thus all the red/black ice Kevin uses and the -30°C body temperature.
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See the full post
257 notes - Posted August 24, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
You know about those? I have so many questions...would you be willing to expand on that chart?
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The post in question, in case anyone missed it.
I'll just go down the list and start explaining every one I know in a sentence or two.
Welcome everyone to busghost explains the joke.
The first box is pretty self explanatory. Lobby 1 belongs in hell though. I once saw somebody say "use my tongue as your toilet paper" and that's the quality of statements said in Lobby 1 NA.
The Second Box begins getting a little more interesting.
Brilliant Light Fu Hua: there's a scene in the bunny girl video where Senti temporarily takes over Hua's body and feels up her own ass.
Dvalin: has a cameo in chapter 17 when Otto looks across the multiverse.
I dunno daily accounts, maybe it means playing every day.
LE/HoT/HoF Armada support: You always set your friend support as one of them because they give MASSIVE starting sp to people, unconditionally in LE's case.
Theres'a creation: This is just the Theresa Chronicle. She's a clone of Kallen with genes from the Honkai beast Vishnu. Otto was trying one of his many schemes to get Kallen back.
Genshin Appropriation: Genshiners™ only care about Honkai for the bare minimum it can provide them with Genshin Theories, don't actually know/care about the story, and treat it like a stupid little side game to the Holy Relic that is Genshin. "DAE HIMEKO IS DILUC'S MOM???" "OMG DILUC IS A COOLER HIMEKO" You've probably heard these phrases before.
Idk what the Otto homophobia is, probably people who think that Otto wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with Kallen and ignored the fact that she's gay. That opinion kinda misses out on all the nuance of Otto and Kallen's relationship.
Kiana flies herself to the Moon: I mean, she does. Characters do it a few times actually. Also Fly Me 2 the Moon was Mihoyo's first game and it's main character is Kiana.
The Day You Vanished with the Stars: The event that has broken everyone's hearts by making you watch the Captain try to save Kongming over and over and endlessly failing. A really good event, most people's favorite in the Captainverse.
"She will never forget the promise to go to the beach with her friend": Bronya promised to take Seele to the sea but then Seele got quantized and trapped in the Sea of Quanta. Very sad, won't be fulfilled for years.
The Third Box
A-303: Theresa is clone serial number A-310. Otto made her fight A-303 but Theresa refused to kill her. A-303 grows up to become Amber. (idk why she grows up and Teri doesn't, or why Amber is a cyborg)
Fu Hua's taxes: this a great meme from tumblr where somebody asked how/if Fu Hua would pay taxes all the way at Mt. Taixuan. https://busghost.tumblr.com/post/665322989875806208/well-the-answer-is-simple-does-fu-hua-legally
APHO Project Bunny: Project Bunny 19C has retired in APHO so Bronya gets a new gun from Theresa and she names it Project Bunny 0019
Schicksal is the Catholic Curch: I mean that's exactly what it says. The leader is an Archbishop, the Valkyries used to dress like nuns. There are crosses everywhere and Kallen mentions that they're supposed to follow the "Good Book" a name for the Bible. They also talk about "holy" this and that and there are churches everywhere. This makes it VERY funny that Schicksal's cover story in the modern day is as a religious charity/ idol company that calls their idols Valkyries.
Unfinished stories is to general for me say anything about, I'm certain there are unfinished/abandoned plots in Honkai.
Lesbian Jesus: After Kallen dies people start regarding her as the Holy Maid who died for our sins to save everyone... Sound similar to certain Christian religious figure?
Joachim Nokianvertanen: The name Welt Yang was given by his parents. He adopted the Name Welt after taking up the responsibilities of being the Herrscher of Reason. Yang is his mother's maiden name.
Honkai Tumblr: You are here.
Fetus Mobius: not 100% sure but Mobius spoke her first words minutes after being born, so that's pretty funny. The question is also posed that if Mobius died enough times will she revert all the way back to a fetus?
Adam x Mei/Bronya shippers exist: self explanitory and gross! they really did go "unlesbians your gays". Also Adam is a minor.
Durandal's Age: the origins of Bianka are known now but before the only thing we knew about Bianka's age was that Jan 1st, 2000 was a placeholder since she had no memories. This led to plenty of people calling Rita a pedophile for being in a relationship with, even though Bianka is clearly not 16-17. It's over now, We know how old she is, 19 nearly 20.
Fourth Box
Kiana B: Bianka is the original Kiana. Rearrange the letters in Bianka and it spells Kiana B. The other Kiana...
See the full post
262 notes - Posted February 12, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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patchesproblem · 11 months
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Thoughts on each Anti-Entropy member?
It depends on what you mean by thoughts, like if it's just my general opinion or if you're meaning the ideas I have for each one. If this isn't what you meant feel free to send another ask.
Tesla, Einstein, and Schrodinger are my favorites and I love them more than anything. Their relationships with each other and on their own absolutely drive me insane.
Tesla in general is a huge favorite of mine because of just how she is. Her story + how interesting the historical aspects about her are (I won't go into detail because it's a long rambling but it's interesting to me.) Plus I love how she depicts ADHD because it aligns with my own experiences and it makes me happy lmao. Especially with her relationship with Einstein.
Einstein is tied with Tesla just because they're a pair and I refuse to separate them. She's a nice person but is mischevious and and will not hesitate to tease her friends and I love it. There's a shit ton of other stuff I want to say about her but I don't know how to word it, so it'll just be an add on for later maybe.
Schrodinger.. I love her so much I want to throw her. Like yes she attempted murder however we all have our silly little moods. Joking aside I'm so sad that she's not appearing in the main story more.. Her relationship with Reanna, Tesla, and Einstein should've been expanded upon more and the fact it wasn't kills me. Kira came home from war why can't Schrodinger </3
Welt Joyce is good, but he's not my favorite tbh. I don't think about him much. His lores interesting and he's sweet, but I just can't get myself to get attached or really be invested beyond looking into historical aspects (i.e. me starting to read James Joyce's works to see if there's anything relating to him there.) That's not to say I hate him, quite the opposite actually. It's just. He's not a character for me essentially. He's well written and he deserved better tbh. He's also my friends favorite so he's basically a fav in law.
Joachim / Welt Yang I don't really have an opinion on. He's interesting, but I tend to avoid stuff about him for my own reasons. Him and Bronyas father daughter relationship is really sweet to me though.. I love it. Though also I'm still interested on where that man went when he ran away from his moms with ADA. What was he doing during all that time.
Cocolia is someone I want to punt into the sun along with the Welt Joyce clones. I support womens rights and wrongs however she tried over throwing Tesla and Einstein and had full intention on getting Einstein either killed or trapped in the SoQ. I will support your rights and wrongs until said crimes are against my favorites. (I like her character / story I just hate her as a person.)
The Welt Joyce clones unironically remind me of emo boy band members who probably have a few crimes on their criminal records. Wanna be cool kids but really everyone hates them.
Planck and Karl (I know he's technically not apart of AE but he's an honorary member in my book) are my beloveds. I love them both. Insane midlife crisis lady and father figure who is just there. I know Karl has 2 lines and we know nothing about him but I'm delusional.
I hate Edison with a passion. I unironically hate her more than Otto. I'm not elaborating. There's nothing redeeming about her and I wish she didn't exist.
Joffrey is just a child. I don't know what is going on with him At All.
Sin Mal is just kinda. There. I forget she exists in HI3rd tbh. I mainly know her from HG2..
ADA my beloved. I love her. She deserved better. Come back from war I miss you honey.
Reanna Brigantia... I loved her so much. She was such a sweet person and deserved SO much better than what happened to her in the end.
I think this is all of the major characters? I could've put the Schicksal Valkyries in here since they all were apart of AE at some point but they're with Schicksal again so.
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empressofrizalia · 5 years
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Mahou Sensei MSPA-tan! Chapter 2: The Kids of Class 413
[Cross posted on AO3.  Also, an important note:  Alterra Academy standard uniforms are in the popular preppy style most private schools on Earth have. Tops consist of a long sleeve white button-down shirt and a black blazer with the school logo on the left chest side. Troll students have their signs parallel to the logo on the other side. Ties come in candy red for human students while troll students have theirs in whatever blood color they have. Bottoms are either deep grey skirts for girls, or trousers for boys. Socks must be either white or black with tasteful leather shoes. Dress code rules may not be as strict as they are in other academies, but there will be consequences if the uniform gets so modified that it stops being recognizable.]
You twist the knob and push the door open.  The sounds of babbling and activity die out in an instant at the sounds of squeaking door hinges take over.  You make a careful step past the threshold, unaware of the forty pairs of eyes staring at you or the mischievous giggles directed at you.
As you open the door a little wider to allow the rest of your body to go further, you hear a faint clatter from above that jolts you on alert.  The giggles stop and the kids’ amused expressions turn into surprise.  You look up to see a chalkboard eraser hovering just a couple of inches away from your head.  Ah, the classic chalk duster trap—the ever popular age-old school prank that no one seems to tire of.  You fondly regard it as you remember your SUIT days until you realize that the eraser was still suspended in the air above you.  You tilt your head slightly just enough to see the bewildered faces of your students staring.  Crapbaskets! You must have used majyyk to keep it from landing on you without realizing it.  This doesn’t look good.  The most fundamental rule of majyyk was that it was forbidden to reveal it in the presence of anyone who isn’t another mage.
You pull the majyyk back and let the eraser fall.  However, you were so concentrated on it that you made a momentary oversight of keeping your gaze up on it.  As a result, the dusty board writing correction implement lands square on your face and bouncing off to the floor, chalk dust landing delicately on the surface of your wide open eyeballs.
Holy shit! It stings!!
Your hear a loud chorus of laughter as your hands went to your face on reflex to try and get rid of the dust.  “My goodness!” You hear Ms. Maryam’s voice through the din.
You manage to wipe most of the chalk dust from your face and make a tentative step forward and trip over an invisible wire.  The next thing you know, something falls onto your head with a loud clang and you’re sent tumbling across the floor.  Stopping only after hitting the teacher’s desk at the center of the class front.  The laughter grows louder.  This must be what Ms. Maryam meant when she told you to be careful.  You haven’t even done anything, yet here you are on the floor with some metallic object obscuring your head and face filthy with chalk dust.  You must be quite a sight right now.  How utterly humiliating.  You try your best to blink away your tears; you can’t afford to show any kind of weakness, not in front of your students.
A moment later, the metallic object gets lifted off your head.  You look up expecting to see Ms. Maryam, but it was someone else instead.
“Are you alright?” A troll girl with a jade colored streak in her long silky black hair asks you with a genuine concern on her face.  She kind of reminds you of a mom.  “Oh, you’re just a wriggler.”
You hear more laughing, though this time the rest of the class didn’t join.  Strange enough, one of the jokers’ laughter sounded a lot like a series of LOLs—like the internet slang.
Your savior turns to the source of the laughter with righteous anger burning in her eyes on your behalf.  “Seriously, Kuprum? Folykl? Of all the pranks you two could come up with—a bucket? In class? Really?!”
“Lololol!” A troll boy with four jagged horns and a pair of fuschia goggles strapped over his strange yellow and purple eyes laughs.  “Like how were we supposed to know it ain’t some other shitty adult coming in?” His wide smile shows off a set of saw-like teeth.
“Yeah��” says a troll girl with long greasy terribly unkempt hair and two pairs of horns like Kuprum, only hers jag outward instead of inward like his.  She’s sitting awfully close to him.  “What’s done. . . is done. . .”  Her voice sounds ragged.  Not the tired kind of ragged, but rather the weak and sick kind of ragged.  “Don’t… get your. . . undies. . . in a twist, Bronya. . .  That was. . . funny… as hell. . .”
Your savior, now known as Bronya, started to full on berate the prankster duo.  While she got busy, another troll kid, a boy wearing a pair of sunglasses and horns like deer antlers, goes to help you get back on your feet.
“Sorry about that,” he says in a cool rather aloof manner.  “A lot of these asshats don’t really have anything better to do with their time.”
“Shut up, Dammek! You were in on it a lot of the time!” says a heavyset troll girl sitting next to a long-haired boy with three pointy horns and a mustard yellow coat in lieu of the school blazer.  Her figure is impressively muscular, so much that the sleeves that were supposed to conceal her big buff arms were nonexistent; most likely torn off.  “This whole schoolfeeder pranking was your idea to begin with!”
“Anyway…”  Dammek ignores her.  “Think of it as a rite of passage. Of course, none of the schoolfeeders last very long once we’re done with them.  Not even the troll adults could handle us.”  He says it like it’s some kind of proud accomplishment.
“The trolls here are a bunch of weaklings, including the highbloods,” a girl with curvy notched horns and three eyes agrees while inspecting her nails.  “It’s shameful, really.  They wouldn’t last one second if this was Alternia.”
“They’d be taken to the culling fields for a little R and R, lol,” says Kuprum.  Rest and relaxation? That doesn’t sound so bad.
“Rampage and rending,” he clarifies.  You stand corrected.
“Especially that weirdo with the nubby horns and his lame ass talk about equality and shit.”  A few other trolls in the class turn to give him the stink eye.  “Lololol! So fucking longwinded about it, too.  Like, he never shuts up once he got going.  He’s as bad as Galekh, but preachier.”  A boy with short curly hair, glasses, and Christmas tree-shaped horns scowled and opened his mouth to object, only to be held back by a tired-looking girl with a mug.  “Lol! He’s so full of bullshit, I can’t even—Hrk!”
Kuprum gets cut off abruptly and you see Dammek had taken a tight hold of his uniform necktie and began to choke him with it. You stand around in shock.  Dammek had gone from your side to choking his classmate in a blink of an eye.
“Take that back, you asshole,” he says, voice dangerously low.  But Kuprum was too busy trying not to die to make a proper reply.  Next to him, Folykl is trying to separate the two boys as she cussed out at Dammek, but failing due to her measly strength.  Another troll with a pair of simple curved horns grabs hold of Dammek from behind to pull him away.  No one else tries to get between them.  Some seem content, amused even, at watching them try to go for each other’s throat.  Others just preferred not to get involved.  Bronya has long since retreated to the side.  The look on her face tells you that she wants to stop them, but unsure at how to approach.
This is definitely not how you imagined your first class was going to go.  You have to stop them.  As the teacher, it’s one of your duties to stop your students from killing each other.  You take a step and reach out to try and mediate between the two aggressive young trolls.
“Wrigglers, please! This is not the time for fighting!” Ms. Maryam’s cry beats you to the punch.  The class grows silent and still at the sight of the adult jadeblood standing in front of the class.  She sighed and rubs her temples, trying to soothe away a growing headache.  “Please return to your seats at once.  Honestly, this is not the way to greet your new schoolfeeder.”
The class lets out a collective “Huh?” then started looking back and forth between her and you.
“So, um…” A girl with wide horns reaching horns that looked like a cow’s and a twig in her mouth raises a hand.  “Ms. Maryam, does this mean ya’ll be schoolfeedin’ us from now on?”
“Oh, no,” Ms. Maryam replies.  “I’m only here as an escort.  Your real schoolfeeder is right here.”
All eyes follow as the only adult in the room gestures to the only human.  When you realize all the attention has shifted towards you, you bat away the remaining chalk dust that clung to your hair and clothes before flashing them a friendly smile and wave.  Some of the kids grimace at the sight of your filthy face.
Ms. Maryam smiles at you.  “Please introduce yourself to the class.”  You nod and take your place at the front and center.  You tell them your full name and that from today onwards, you’ll be teaching at this school.  You’ll be only here for three terms, but it’s nice to meet everyone.
There was a pregnant pause as they all just stared at you after you finished your introductions.  All the while you notice that the classroom had a tier-style seating similar to that of an auditorium or a lecture hall where the seats start off from the ground and go higher like a set of stairs.  You silently counted five tier rows, split at the middle by a narrow set of actual stairs with two more additional sets at either side for ease of access.  Each row comfortably accommodates four troll kids each.
Oh, man.  Just look at all those obvious dress code violations.  They’re not even trying to be subtle about it.  Or maybe they just don’t care.
You consider maybe handing out demerits or detention slips for violating the school standard dress code, but scrap that plan quickly.  Doing so wouldn’t endear you much to your students especially since your botched first impression.  Ms. Maryam stands a little bit behind you, ready to intervene in case things start going south.
“Hmm hmm…”  You hear a faint titter.  “Hmhmhmhmhmhmmhmmhwahahahahaah!!” The tittering grew louder until it turned into a full blown laugh.
“Oh how funny this is.  How very droll,” said a three-eyed girl in mirthful mockery.  “That human is going to be schoolfeeding us?”
“The other human schoolfeeders barely lasted longer than the adult troll schoolfeeders did,” says the boy with the flashlight horns, one arm on the desk, the other supporting his chin in a daydreaming pose.  “It’s kinda sad, really.  I would have loved to get to know them a little better.  Humans are so fascinating and exotic.”  He gives you another flirty wink while he gets weird looks from all adjacent classmates.  You nearly blanch.
“Hey! How old are you? You don’t look as old as the other schoolfeeders,” asks a shorter troll boy whose fluffy hair obscured his eyes and seems to be holding a hotdog sandwich.  Doesn’t this little guy know that eating in class is a no-no?
You answer his question anyway, being mindful to give your age both in years and sweeps.  And to make up for your lousy entrance, you also mentioned your university level knowledge in your subject.  Nothing like a little bragging ought to nurse your bruised ego, and maybe to make you look a little less lame than usual.
“So you’re in a similar age as us and are officially qualified to professionally teach a class,” a boy with product-infused hair swooping over one side of his face says as he examined you with a scrutinizing gaze from his seat.  “I must say, that’s rather impressive, even on Alternia.  Though it’s also pretty obvious that the higher-ups of this schoolfeeding facility are getting desperate and running out of ideas.”
“Kinda makes you wonder if this is all for real,” says a girl with hooked horns and dyed blue hair with an undercut, leaning back on her seat with her boot-clad feet on the desk.
“I assure you that Mx. Reader’s credentials are all valid,” says Ms. Maryam.  “Remember, they may be the same age as you, but you must treat them with proper respect as an authority figure, understand?” The class answered her with a chorus of varying but unenthusiastic agreement.
“Alright, now that you’re acquainted, I believe it’s time for class.”  The adult jade troll turned to you.  “You can take it from here, Mx. Reader.”  Oh, okay…  She turns and exits the room.  Great, now you’re all alone and at the mercy of forty unpredictable alien kids.
You nervously make your way behind the teacher’s desk and set and open textbook upon it. You put on your best professional face.  You will not be laughed at again; you’ve got to take this seriously.  You tell the class to turn to a specific page of their textbooks and go up to the chalkboard to write something.  However, it seems that there has been a bit of an oversight on your part.
You’re too short to reach the top of the board.
Your blush as you hear giggles from behind.  You don’t blame them—standing on your tiptoes and stretching your arm up in a useless effort must look really funny.  But then, out of nowhere, you feel your stomach clench and your feet leave the ground.  You go up and up until you make it to the appropriate height you had been aiming for.  This isn’t your doing at all.  You’d know if you used majyyk to float, but in the few seconds of that moment, it felt like you just stepped into a strong breeze.
You turn your head slightly and take a glance back at the class.  You notice flashes of cyan and blue coming from the troll boy with the coat, which turned out to be coming from his eyes.  He’s holding up one hand and you could see his fingertips emit similar colored sparks.  You realize that this must be the work of psionics.  You’ve learned that some trolls, particularly the ones in the burgundy and gold caste, have powerful psychic powers.  Now that you think about it, maybe you’re not the only peculiar one in this school after all.
He notices you looking at him and he gives you a thumbs up with his other hand while smiling.  You thank him silently and move on with the lesson.  Your heart feels lighter at how easy things are going.  The troll kids are nice to you so far.  Maybe it has something to do with your age like Ms. Maryam said.
However, as with all good things, your revelry comes to an end when pain strikes the back of your head and you start to fall.  You cry out, but quickly catch yourself with a quick floatation spell and make a soft landing back on the floor.  You look around and back to the class and at the goldblood kid who catches your gaze and shakes his head in adamant denial.  By the looks of it, he is just as surprised as you are and it broke his concentration on you which caused your fall.  You turn back around to the board, deciding it was for the best to just keep going like nothing happened. . . until it happens again… twice.
You’re hit with such force that your forehead slams on the chalkboard.  The giggles resumed.  You step away, rubbing your aching forehead.
“Is there something wrong, teacher?” You hear Bronya ask.  You tell her that there are things that keep flying at you.  She immediately casts an admonishing look at Kuprum and Folykl, who quickly catch on.
“Don’t… look at us…” says Folykl.
“We already did our share of pranks,” Kuprum follows.
Bronya turns away, begrudgingly deeming them honest.  She then leans forward on her seat to look at someone at the far end of her row.  “Cirava, did you use your psionics against the schoolfeeder?”
Yet another goldblood troll looks her way with a half-lidded neon green eye at the mention of her name.  They had short messy hair that stuck out at different directions.  Like the other goldbloods, they had four horns—two of which go straight up and curve a little outward near the top and ended in two pointy prongs.  A triangular eyepatch hides and injury in their other eye if the prominent gold veins on that side of their face are to be referenced.
They speak in a relaxed almost sleepy tone.  “Nah, my dude.  My psionics haven’t worked right since I took out my eye.”  You look at them, utterly mortified.  How and why would anyone mutilate themselves like that was beyond you.
“I see,” Bronya says in understanding.  She then turns around to ask the last remaining psionic kid.  The short stocky one sitting next to her wasn’t one despite being also goldblooded, guess not all of them can have super cool powers.  “Well, Azdaja?”
Azdaja began shaking his head once more.  “I didn’t do it.  I was helping, remember?”
Bronya furrowed her brow.  “Then who did?”
“You’re asking me?”
“Hey! Leave him alone,” the buff-bodied girl next to him shouted.  “Daja didn’t do shit wrong! Calm your rumble spheres, fussyfangs!” Bronya turned away with a huff.
“It’s probably Dammek,” said the girl with the dyed hair.  “He’s sorta paranoid so he tends to go around testing people.”  Dammek glared her way, upset at being downright outed.  “He’s was mostly the reason we had gone through several schoolfeeders befo—Ack!” An unknown projectile hits the side of her head and makes her flinch.  She glares back at him, baring her sharp teeth.
“You wanna go, Elwurd?” he asks.
You start to get nervous.  You’re really not keen on having another fight in your class.  And Ms. Maryam isn’t around this time to help you out.
Ding… dong… dong… ding…
Whew! Saved by the bell.  Thank gog.  You’re not sure how you would have done should things got out of hand.
You check your watch for the time.  It’s high noon, which means it’s lunchtime! The kids get up from their seats and start heading for the door as you gather your things from the teacher’s desk.
You notice something on the floor next to your foot.  You bend down and pick it up out of curiosity and look at it closely.  It was white with brushes of gray and felt rubbery to the touch. It’s an eraser, or a chunk of an eraser broken off from a larger whole.  You think back to several minutes ago, put two and two together and grimace.  This tiny thing almost gave you a concussion.
“Hello there~” You hear a suave voice coming from nearby.  You turn and see one the flashlight-horned troll boy standing in front of you.  You wonder if he needs something.
“I can’t help but realize that you might be all alone during this midday meal hour,” he said, sidling up to you and getting a little too close for comfort.  “Have you been given a tour of our fine schoolfeeding facility yet? If not, then I’m more than happy to volunteer.  I’ve been around for a while and I know every hidden cranny.  I can show them to you if you want, and perhaps get to know each other while we’re at it?” Oh gog, this is just like your Japanese animes—except it’s real and not as romantically exciting as you thought it would be!
“Move aside, Troll Romeo!” Flirtyboy let out a grunt when he was shoved away from you.  Thank goodness for that.
“Hey teach, you wanna have lunch with us?” Elwurd presence replaces Romeo’s (is that even his real name?) albeit at a more acceptable distance.  “I bet you still got no clue where the nutrition block is in this place.  Why don’t you come with me and Cirava and we’ll show you?” Cirava waves at you from their spot a foot away.
You take a moment to ponder on her offer.  There wasn’t much time for a grand tour when you and Mr. Vantas stepped out of the airport and quickly got marched to your class.  You nod.  It would be nice to have company.  Fortunately, you needn’t worry about any kind of stigma associated with anything beyond the acceptable student-teacher relationship.  You may be the teacher, but it doesn’t take away the fact that you and your students are all about the same age.
Elwurd beams.  “Cool! Let’s go.”  The two troll girls walk with you on both your sides like a pair of bodyguards.  Boy, this day just keeps getting better.  The day wasn't over yet and you're already making friends with your students.  Was it because your'e a teacher? Ah, who cares? You're happy!
You go ahead and take the first to step out of the classroom.
“Ah, Reader! There you are.”  You hear Mr. Vantas’ voice call out to you, and sure enough, there he is coming at you down the hall.  And he isn’t alone—there’s another adult troll behind him.  She was a lady like Ms. Maryam, though younger and a has a little wild look on her.  Her hair was long and a little messy, though you could clearly make out her horns that look like cat ears.  Her casual business attire has mostly olive colors.
“Welp, it looks like there some important schoolfeeder biz about to go down,” says Elwurd.  “Looks like we’re gonna have to cancel our lunch date.  Maybe next time.”  She gives you finger-guns and a wink before leaving.
“Later!” Cirava bids, following behind Elwurd.  You wave them goodbye.
“Reader, would you care to join us for lunch?” Mr. Vantas asks as he and his friend stop to talk to you.  “I know you’re young, but we’re still colleagues.  Also, Dolorosa insisted that we invite you along in case you have any questions.”
Dolo—who?”
“Oh, sorry. I meant Ms. Maryam.”  Isn’t her name ‘Porrim’?
“It’s more of a title. Like mine is ‘Signless’.  It’s… a weird troll thing…”  Right.
“Wow, is this the wriggler teacher mew told me about?” asks the lady troll, gaping at you with wide eyes.
“Yes, they are,” Mr. Vantas replies.  “Also, maybe if you—”
“Eeeeeeeeeeeee! Mew’re so cute!” The lady troll cried while hugging the life out you with your face pressing on to her chest.  Did she just use cat puns?
Mr. Vantas gives her a dry look that goes unnoticed.  “I can’t believe a tiny kitten like you is a teacher in our school! Oh-em-gee!” Several students lingering the hall watch with amusement as she goes on to pinching and squishing your cheeks in her alien hands like a lump of toy slime.
Uhh…
“Meulin, please stop.  You’re embarrassing them,” Mr. Vantas admonishes her.  She pouts a little, but does as he says.  “Sorry about that,” he apologizes to you on her behalf.  You tell him you’re fine.  Hopefully the slight swelling of your abused cheeks would go down in time for your next class.  And yes, joining them for lunch sounds like a swell idea.  You could ask for pointers in teaching.
“That great! Shall we go then?” You nod and take your place between the two adults like you had with Elwurd and Cirava.
Being the big school Alterra Academy is, there’s no doubt that their facilities like the cafeteria would also be big.  Though to you, it isn’t such a big deal.  The dining hall at SUIT was just as big.  The difference between that and the academy cafteria is the contemporary design versus the old ancient castle look.  There are kitchen installations lined along two ends of the facility and some stalls that serve all kinds of food, including Alternian fare.  You and your colleagues go and order some food and head to the Staff Lounge where all the other teachers and some other members of the school staff congregate on their breaks to escape from the kids and relax for at least an hour everyday.
“It looks like you’re getting along with Class 413,” Mr. Vantas says after sitting down on a cushy chair.  Meulin, or Ms. Leijon the Literary Arts teacher as she introduced herself, sat on another next to him.  “How was your first class? Was there any trouble?” You have half a mind to tell him all that happened, but you also didn’t want to come off as whining.  So you tell him that it was a success and everyone was so well behaved and nice.
“Whoa, really?” he asks.  “That’s new.  All the other teachers who tried to handle that class usually ran out crying or furious around the first quarter of class time.  I even tried, but…”
Ms. Leijon beside him giggles.  “He ended up unleashing a vast expletive at the class after half an hour.  It was so loud, some teachers poked their heads out of their classrooms to see what was going on--myself included.  After that, he walked out and lamented to Dolorosa what he did.”
“Don’t tell him that, Meulin.  The last thing I want is to have Reader get a bad impression of me.”  S he stuck her tongue out at him in a playful manner.  “I still can’t believe I lost my patience so easily.  Perhaps my time at the flogging jut has changed me.”  His expression turns somber. Ms. Leijon takes one of his hands in hers and give it a gentle reassuring squeeze.  Flogging? Was he involved with shady characters who he got on the bad side of?
“No, nothing like that,” Mr. Vantas says.  “Though to the Alternian ruling class, I might as well have. Not that it mattered much since I shouldn’t have lived in the first place.”
How come?
Mr. Vantas looks at you square in the eye.  “As you may or may not know, the planet Alternia is ruled by the hemospectrum.  Those in the warm end scrounge whatever they can to live by while being under the cruel thumb of the blueblood nobility.  Though in every generation of trolls laid by the Mother Grub, there’d be outliers—mutants—who don’t belong anywhere in the hemospectrum.  I was one such mutant.”
You raise an eyebrow and your eyes dart back and forth between him and Ms. Leijon.  Other than the obvious differences between them due to their genders, you don’t really see anything different about Mr. Vantas… unless, he’s got some weird appendage hiding under his clothes.
“I can tell you’re skeptical, and I don’t blame you,” he continues.  “Most mutations are often visible like an extra pair of eyes, or limbs, or whatever else that’s atypical of a certain caste.  Any troll grub who hatch with such mutations are often culled to keep the gene pool pure. Though there are cases, such as in goldbloods, where mutations are given a free pass as they are deemed useful by the regime.  In my case, however, the mutation is in my blood.”
Why? What’s wrong with his blood? Does he have a disease?
Mr. Vantas gave a low chuckle at your assumptions.  “No, it has more to do with the color.  You see, rather than a deep rust as dictated by the hemospectrum, my blood is a bright crimson like you humans have.  Since it was outside the hemospectrum, it marked me as a mutant and therefore have to be culled.  It was only through the kindness of the Dolorosa, my jadeblood mother, that my life was spared.  However, in doing so, she had to leave the brooding caverns in order to properly care for me.  From then on, we lived as nomads—never staying in any place for too long to avoid the risk getting my blood discovered and culled for it by the highbloods.  But as I grew older, I became more aware of the cruel and unjust way of life for lowbloods.  I thought to myself, there has to be a better way to live—where all would care for one another regardless of blood.  Soon, I began having vision of such a life, and started to spread the word. Before long, I gained followers.”
You nodd in understanding as you listen to him relay his life story to you.  So it turns out that the Dolorosa, who is Ms. Maryam, adopted and raised Mr. Vantas who grew up to become some kind of activist.
Though his story was compelling, you have a feeling that it wouldn’t have a happy ending.
“And of course, as with all good things in Alternia, it never meant to last or make a difference.  To make an already long story short, word got to the highbloods about my ‘radical’ ideals and deemed it a threat to the system, thus I got captured.  I was sentenced to death both as a mutant and a rebel, then tied me up on the flogging jut with burning shackles.  I was continuously beaten until my so-called heretical blood was let for all to see.  As I faded into unconsciousness, my final thought was that it was finally the end for me; I’d die without having realized my dream.  However, after what felt like eons, I found myself waking surrounded by friends and family.  I thought I had truly died, but the stinging pain of my wounds told me otherwise.  Later, I found out that one of my distant followers started a riot that allowed for our escape from the empire in a stolen battleship.”
At that point, a familiar motherly voice decided to chime in to add her bit.  “Finding your planet was something that happened by chance,” she says.  “We didn’t know where we were going.  All that mattered was to get away from the reaches of the Empire as quickly as possible.  There were a few hundred of us cramped in a battleship flying through space.  By the time we found Earth, we have exhausted most of our rations.”  You look up to see Ms. Maryam standing behind your chair.  “Once we realized that the blue and green planet ahead of us was capable of sustaining life, we immediately went full speed ahead and soon crashed.  Many of us perished, but thanks to the helpful efforts of a certain human, many were also saved.  And the rest, as you humans say, is history.”
Okay, the story did have a happy ending after all.  Though you were so preoccupied by the story that you didn’t realize when Ms. Maryam arrived.  How long has she been there?
“Just enough to hear Kankri tell you about the aftermath of his failed execution,” she replies, moving to take a seat next to you.
“What took mew so long, Dolorosa? Lunch period is halfway over,” asks Ms. Leijon.
Ms. Maryam gave a little sigh.  “Well, I went to invite a certain someone to join us while we get properly acquainted with our new teacher,” she looks at you, “but he seemed to be too absorbed in his work to move.  He didn’t seem to be interested on meeting them either, so I let him be.  It’s quite a shame.”
Welp, that can’t be helped.  You know better than to assume that everyone would be excited or curious enough to see a kid teacher.  All that’s left to do is enjoy your now cold lunch with your new colleagues.
“Oh, right. I almost forgot,” Mr. Vantas says while he and Ms. Leijon open up theirs.  “Say, while we’re at it, how about you tell us more about how your first class went.”
And so you spent the rest of the hour relishing the company of your fellow educators.
EXTRA
ALTERRA ACADEMY CLASS 413 ROSTER
(SPEAKING ROLES ONLY/NO PARTICULAR ORDER)
Student numbers are in accordance to Troll Call order of introduction + Dammek and Xefros
Name: Bronya Ursama
Student #: 32
Blood Color: Jade
Sign: Virus
Extra-curricular/s: Grubsitters Club, Class President (?)
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: None
~oOo~
Name: Folykl Darane
Student #: 13
Blood Color: Gold
Sign: Gemittarius
Extra-curricular/s: Pranksters’ Gambit Club
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Unbuttoned blazer, nonexistent tie, pants rather than skirt, lacking presence of appropriate footwear
Note: Never separate from Kuprum
~oOo~
Name: Kuprum Maxlol
Student #: 14
Blood Color: Gold
Sign: Gemnius
Extra-curricular/s: Prankster’s Gambit Club
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Unbuttoned blazer, Loose tie, messy untucked shirt
Note: Never separate from Folykl
~oOo~
Name: Dammek ??????
Student #: 1
Blood Color: Bronze
Sign: Taurcer
Extra-curricular/s: Alterra Middle School Rock Band (Grubbles)
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Inappropriate eyewear
~oOo~
Name: Konyyle Okimaw
Student #: 36
Blood Color: Olive
Sign: Lepia
Extra-curricular/s: Alterra MMA Club
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Torn off sleeves on both blazer and shirt
~oOo~
Name: Ardata Carmia
Student #: 27
Blood Color: Cerulean
Sign: [Blocked by smudge on page]
Extra-curricular/s: Audio Visual Club, Social Media Streamers Club
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Cape over uniform
~oOo~
Name: Skylla Koriga
Student #: 12
Blood Color: Bronze
Sign: Taurist
Extra-curricular/s: Agriculture Research Society
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Cowboy boots
~oOo~
Name: Zebruh Codakk
Student #: 34
Blood Color: Indigo
Sign: Sagimino
Extra-curricular/s: Strolling Club
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Bow tie in place of standard tie, blazer tied around waist, shirt sleeves rolled to elbows
Note: In case of emergency, call the Academy Security Hotline.
~oOo~
Name: Tagora Gorjek
Student #: 26
Blood Color: Teal
Sign: Liga
Extra-curricular/s: Alterra Future Business Leaders, Class Treasurer
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Pinstripe pants
Note: If he tries to offer something, politely decline even if in dire need.
~oOo~
Name: ?????? Elwurd
Student #: 21
Blood Color: Cerulean
Sign: Scornius
Extra-curricular/s: Strolling Club
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Skinny jeans and combat boots under skirt
~oOo~
Name: Cirava Hermod
Student #: 25
Blood Color: Gold
Sign: Gemrius
Extra-curricular/s: Vaporwave Appreciation Society
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Disheveled ‘not even trying’ look, gray leggings, inappropriate footwear
~oOo~
Name: Azdaja Knelax
Student #: 35
Blood Color: Gold
Sign: Gemra
Extra-curricular/s: Alterra Anime Afficionados Association (A4)
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: Mustard yellow overcoat in lieu of school blazer
~oOo~
Name: Diemen Xicali
Student #: 11
Blood Color: Burgundy
Sign: Arrius
Extra-curricular/s: Alterra Gastronauts
Uniform Discrepancy/ies: None
ALTERRA ACADEMY FACULTY & STAFF DOSSIER
Name: Meulin “The Disciple” Leijon
Age: 15 solar sweeps/33 years
Blood Color: Olive
Occupation: Signless’ most devoted follower/girlfriend, Academy Literature Teacher
Notes:
-Gratuitous cat puns
-Likes to ship even as an adult
-Furiously studies and compares human and troll literature
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tegiri-kalbur · 6 years
Text
Troll Call Trolls as Ghost Stories Quotes
Zebede: It must be nice to have a friend, Everyone here hates me.
Tyzias: Go get my coffee. Be my bitch.
Mallek: My BS detector is going *BING*!
Daraya: A police station! Thank god, i never would've thought i would be happy to see one of those things.
Nihkee: You know what i hear? I hear the sound of you shuttin' the fuck up
Chahut: Hello, sinner!
Diemen: I can read, not well, but i can read that those letters... are backwards!
Skylla: SOMETIMES I WISH PEOPLE COULD JUST MARRY THE ANIMALS
Folykl: If theres a cliff on this mountain, i'm pushing both of you off of it.
Kuprum: I'd like to be given over to shameful lust
Charun: *sees ghost* Hey, how about we stand here and stare at it some more?
Amisia: GET BACK IN HERE OR YOU'LL GET YOUR HEAD CHOPPED OFF
Polypa: LOOK! dead cat :(
Tegiri: Leave me alone. I'm doing my standard arms up anime pose.
Tirona: *keichiiro's gibberish*
Lynera: Open your books to page whatever
Elwurd: Oh, the music teacher. What a B I T C H
Galekh: OHMYGODWHATISHAPPENINGMYLIPSARETOOFASTTOSYNC
Vikare: The V on my sweater stands for "Very big deal", but thats besides the point.
Boldir: RUN, SHES A GHOST AND A BITCH
Cirava: This is some trippy shit, homes
Tagora: At first, i thought it was new drugs, but it might just be the chess club dorks.
Ardata: Hold on, i have to do something *rotates head 360*
Marvus: I'm playing with your mind, and i'm not even high!
Fozzer: WAKE UP EVERYBODY, SATANS TRYING TO KILL US
Stelsa: Its like a zombie weight watchers meeting!
Wanshi: I'm a sexually frustrated fourth grader!
Bronya: What kind of 4 year old eats bell peppers?
Chixie: What does "bootylicious" mean?
Zebruh: So i'm nailing this midget when my mom walks in-
Azdaja: Moshi Moshi- i mean... hello.
Konyyl: This will be the first R-rated bloodbath ever put on by an elementary school, SWEET!
Who is this: TIME TO GO HOME, LOAD UP THAT BONG, AND WATCH SOME POKEMON!
Marsti: You're giving me more acid reflex then my lunch.
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