#just barely functioning <3

[janamensch]

Knight Xantheus!!! Very gold!! His armor is strengthened by magic runes and is therefore more sturdy than it looks.

#high rollers #rollonsunday #altheya #altheyatde #xantheus auregan #I feel like I read somewhere that it would be pointless to get a suit of armor made of gold #because gold is very soft and would not protect you enough #But I think the aesthetics are more important than functionality #This is why there’s magic. Magic runes make armor strong. Good! Problem solved #I feel like in this AU the world is similar enough to Altheya/Ilmera with just a few differences #They barely know anything about the planes (so I can call Daisy the Knight of the Peaks in reference to celestials/Nym without consequences #There’s less magic or it’s not as strong or less common? (so that our casters in the group can still be knights :3) #And most importantly: horses

[stardial]

it’s been an incredibly tumultuous last one and a half months for me emotionally, but i think i’m finally starting to recover properly and it feels really nice

#the first like. week and a half of the year was amazing becuase i got to spend it with anethia <3 and then rama and sunday <3 #but like as soon as i got back to school one of my friends died and that put me in such a severe downward spiral #and there was like a month there where i just like. could barely function #and for a while it just felt like i was barely barely clinging onto life at all and idk if i’d been able to make it without rama (<333) #but then when i felt like i’d rly hit my own personal rock bottom i just like. suddenly got a grip on myself? #and now i’ve been taking care of myself and i’ve been doing my hobbies and i’ve been.. happier #and it feels so good. instead of being anxious abt everything i’ve been trusting people #instead of rotting away i’ve been doing things! sewing and cleaning and writing etc #it feels nice <3 #arambles #sorry bit of a personal post but i’ve just rly wanted to get it out there

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

13, trying to prevent yaz from spiralling when they get separated: i need you to do a deepdive into eschatology

#fghgjhjhggh #'yea i know this sucks babe but we'll figure it out the fate of the world is on your shoulders i believe in you kisses <3' #like thats where you'll end up right #'find out when the aliens come try and take over' #eschatology and death cults and conspiracy theories probably #forced to sift through like centuries of that stuff for years on end trying to find the Real in all of it #and you cant.......stop. bc the world will end #i dont think you come out of that.................normal #even with the best starting condition you dont come out of that normal but yaz is like #functional only by virtue of her circumstances i think #she looks fine bc shes standing next to 13 #i dont think shes normal under the surface #i dont think 4 years of apocalypticism left her untouched #dan either i mean i dont think anyone comes out of that untouched but these two are like barely keeping it together beforehand #can you imagine how WEIRD theyve become #can you imagine how obliviously and kind of unsettlingly weird they'd be in support groups #the others would get it like sure none of us are really normal anymore but like #i think they'd be weird #4 years of having to depend on each other and not knowing if you'll get back home and having to take The End Times seriously nonstop as a #matter of urgency and duty #and then losing the third member of your party? #dan and yaz will be so weird and fucked up #iknow im repeating myself but im just trying to put myself in the frame of mind of #having to take intepretations of the end times seriously for 4 years #when youre already like a lowkey suicidal person to begin with #i think if yaz hangs out with 14 she'll say such weird and fucked up things entirely obliviously and he'd be like O.O #she probably still has 1900 habits that show up unexpectedly #or like just miscalibrated. has to take a trip to another country and takes a train bc she forgets planes exist #has to look up somethign and just goes SIGH. gets her coat to go to the library. and ryans like ??? ive googled it #and shes like oh fuck google

[one-winged-dreams]

#i'm in the throes of like... prazosin withdrawal or something because I've been suffering physically and psychologically for like 3 days #psychotic episode so bad i've hallucinated whole ass buildings where there aren't any #i'm barely functional right now holy shit #and the HEART PALPITATIONS #i just took my first one in like almost two weeks and the blood pressure drop is kicking my ass #what the actual fuck i feel like i'm falling apart #vent

[silenthillbunni]

☁️🌷

#ugh im so anxious and like i think i have more pains bc of it #i overslept bc ever since i got a new phone my alarm is so quiet i never wake up?? this is the third time this happens for this class #but i cant miss more bc if i have more than three weeks absence they'll fail me :< so i hurried and walked to school #i wish i had a bus pass T-T since they introduced civilian clothed controllants i havent dared taking the bus at all i dont wanna get a fine #so yes anyway. on top of that im pretty sure my sister stole my keys. bc they were in my jacket pocket yesterday and today they werent there #and she left somewhere earlier this morning. so now im anxious abt not knowing where they are + will i get inside?? my mom wakes up late af #ummm what else???? idk im just so stressed. i got to class and have been here for 40min now and the teacher left for lunch #i'll leave now bc i cant focus enough to sit here more. my tooth aches too :(( #i just wanna cry tbh #the entire way here i was like i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die #i feel so awful.. and stupd and worthless. why am i incapable of getting a job? or even studying at university? im so bad at everything #im like an anxious wreck who can barely function. everything hurts both physically and emotionally #i dont even wanna walk home im just sitting in my empty classroom bc i dont wanna kove #move* #what's wrong with me? how did i turn into this? i miss school. like i miss being able to actually do my work and talk to the teachers etc #im only a shell of what i used to be. and im scared i'll never be anything other than this :(((( #well i gotta move ig bc the sooner i do the sooner i can get home and lie in my bed & cry over how useless i am :3

[miusato]

I dont have a clear idea in my mind but ever since I sketched that dumb AU of Shinjiham in HS i have the feminine urge to make up a HC of them lmao i doubt anybody be reading this but i like talking to myself and reread this the next morning so ima just write this down lol

Like I said I dont have a clear idea but basically Shinji extended his study and ended up in the same year as Kotone (11th grade) because he actually got into a coma. Im playing around the idea that the story revolves around why is he in the same year as she is? Why did he fell into coma and how did he get into coma in the first place? This also means that Kotone didn't meet him until he enrolled into her class. Aki is still her senior and they're friends because idk I havent think of this yet lol but anyway one day Aki asked if she can help him keep an eye on Shinji and told her about him going to enroll in her class soon and he knows Shinji will struggle because he's pretty much an outcast and some people speculates and make rumors about his reasoning for his extension and Aki really cares for him and doesnt want him to fall behind or fail so he asked her a favor to help him out.

Shinji is hard to befriend at first and tell her to buzz off but when she mentioned Aki asked her to keep an eye on him and she won't take no for an answer, he sighed and said how annoying he is for setting him up like that lol At first he is kinda frustrated at how persistent she is on trying to help him and how she gets into everyone's business in class but he's aware of how contagious her presence can be and knows how people around her always be at ease when she's in class so he slowly opened up to her and accepts her kindness.

I dont really want him to be as depressive and suicidal as canon but I can see him having a self-worth issue and having a hard time accepting goodness around him. I kinda imagine at one point Shinji and Aki had a huge fight about him pushing everyone away and screaming at him that he's not as mysterious as he thinks he is and he's too blind by his own pity party to see how people still loves him and it took him a fist on the face and Aki crying to get that through his thick skull.

After the fight, he didn't come to school for a few days which actually worries Kotone because despite how uninterested Shinji always be in class, he never delibrately skip class and oddly enough he always pass his homework on time so she visited his place with his homework packets (and after bribing the office clerk for his address) and when she sees him all bruised up in his face she was like SHINJI WHAT HAPPENED WHY YOURE ALL FUCKED UP WHO DID THIS TO YOU AWAFSJQGRAJALA and he hissed at her to shut up and after she apologised, he admits that Aki punched him and after reassuring her it's technically his fault, he asked if she actually liked him and just as she's about to stammer with red on her cheeks, he quickly corrected himself that what he meant is if she likes being friends with him because he is such an ass to her and opens up about what he fought about with Aki and it's not until he sees tears in Aki's face that he's not the only one hurting and him pushing people away to not hurt them actually hurts other people too. Kotone assured him that if he realized that, its not too late to change and he has friends to help him get back on his feet. When she mentioned "friends", he looked at her and asked "Kotone, are we friends?" And she beamed at him and hook his pinky around her and whispered "Always been." and that's when he really accepts her and sees her as a genuine friend and not some annoying girl in class.

Idk how do I make them ended up dating but I just like the idea of a slow burn relationship so in the meantime they're just friends with budding feelings towards each other hsksksksksk

#also both Shinji and Aki are orphans of course but I imagine they lived separately in their own foster family homes #their homes arent bad but Aki has better functioning foster parents while Shinji's parents arent involved in him- #so Shinji works at the convenience store at night whenever he's free for extra money #and they basically took Shinji in just for money while keeping his basic needs at bare minimum #Kotone at the other hand lives with her aunt and rn i havent think about if her home condition is okay or nah #oh i know i will be so annoying about this HS AU to myself lol hsksosla #if you guys read this lol thank you for tolerating my annoying ass #also if you guys take this seriously lol pls dont this is just me being self indulgent and i get to be cringe whenever and whatever i want #asukaspeaker #persona 3 headcanons #persona 3 #shinjiro aragaki #kotone shiomi #shinjiham #akihiko sanada #persona 3 headcanon

[waytoobsessed]

This isn’t shattered Leo but a bad au after he gets shattered so here have this

#rottmnt x fnaf #rottmnt #fnaf sb #rottmnt leo #my art #This is more of an au after it all where he gets repaired to just barely be functional and is sold off #it’s fine… after all he shouldn’t be able to feel the pain he does :3 #hehe

[hinterlost]

The most unrealistic thing about Stardew Valley is the fact that Elliot lives in a shack with no electricity or internet access. How tf is an author going to google synonyms without electricity (don't say thesaurus I am old enough to had to of used those and they are a pain in the ass if you don't know what you're looking for). You're telling me this man writes on a TYPEWRITER? With no BACKSPACE button?? What if you want to quote something? Are ya gonna go down to the library that got literally all of it's books and artifacts stolen??

#not dragon age #I can barely write when I have 3 days off and nothing to do with full internet and the barely functioning rusted wheels that are my brain #could not be me #this is a funny don't come at me #stardew valley #stardew elliot #I know people didn't have this option like literally 50 years ago but I am built different #different as in stupid as fuck #also imagine all of the paper waste from scrapped pages because you accidentally hit a key and fucked up a word #no wonder it took so long for authors to write back then #I say as it takes me too long to write #how tf did fucking homer write his Illiad wtf #man probably had like 500 goats skinned just to create parchment #oh god imagine misspelling a word on parchment #oh my god I misspelled iliad imagine if that was on parchment

[thrilling-oneway]

SIF2 can you please just die already

#why do they wanna be voted google play game oty BRO YOUR GAME SUCKS #ITS BEEN AROUND FOR LESS THAN A YEAR AND ALREADY HAS A BIGGER APP SIZE THAN THE FIRST #THE GACHA SUCKS AND THE ORIGINAL ONLY HAD A 1% UR RATE LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK #HOW IS YOUR 3% WORSE THAN THE 1% #THE GAME BARELY FUNCTIONS AND YOU STILL HAVENT RELEASED EN AND ITS ALMOST 2024 #sif i miss you i just want you back

[oculusxcaro]

One of the things that hurts Khare the most isn't so much the eyes and teeth growing in her flesh but rather her memory issues, how easily she forgets things and struggles with the most basic tasks. Her IQ wasn't impressive before getting experimented on but she lived independently and picked up a range of skills from doing so along with working many odd jobs back in Hull. It's immensely frustrating - and upsetting - to her when it takes so long to learn what should be a simple thing.

#🌈 || musings #🌈 || headcanons #Okay the eyes and teeth are a little upsetting but you get used to them after a while #Covering them up and scraping them off every couple of days is managable #It's the impact the injections had on her brain that's most upsetting #Trying to remember the right way to spell certain words and phrases #Struggling to repeat a task when she nailed it before #Now she struggles doing even the simplest things and it takes so much effort #Fortunately Pauli and everybody else at the diner are patient and she's able to function well enough but #It's still upsetting like she could DO all this so easily before and now she can barely remember what her own mother looks and sounds like #Would she even recognize her if she walked past on the same street? #How long until she forgets another important thing? #As her body mutates she gets harder and harder to kill but that IQ is dropping as a result #She KNOWS she's not dumb but can't help it #Rorschach helping her retain her memory and correct spelling by playing Scrabble tho <3 #OKAY just one more doubleshift tonight then I'm FREEEEEEEEEEE #Hours should be bback to normal next week but I'm not holding my breath #Ah well I'll be happy for a day off tomorrow regardless #Sorry sorry to have been so quiet and lacking activity I am just tired :(

[heydragonfly]

hm. just gonna say this cause a terf just followed me and I ain’t fucking with that: if you’re a terf you can suck my entire asshole, you vapid cunt! if your feminism doesn’t include trans women then you’re not a feminist at all!

#go suck a rancid dick! #I blocked them but I can’t remember if tumblr functions enough for that to mean they also can no longer follow you #and i’ve been getting an influx of followers lately and just gotta Make This Shir Clear #sorry just got especially mad bc ofc they’re terf shit was hidden even though all the initial dog whistles were there #and used ahistorical bullshit to justify their bullshit #oh you’re a biology grad student? congrats you’re still a fucking moron who’d get clowned in any history seminar! #GAH #missing when I got 1 new follower every 3 months and barely had to check this shit #I usually don’t even check but they had one of those terf dogwhistle icons

[glitteratti]

ok actually i hate living like this for real. whatever.

#.txt #i’ll spend all day being sad but fine and then out of nowhere just burst into tears taking my sheets out of the dryer #like man. i spend so long clawing on to make it out of the pit of seasonal depression so i can be better and happier #and then RIGHT at the midpoint. exactly then. is when i get fucking FIRED. that is so FUCKED. #i hate spending half the year in such a fog that i can barely function i hate feeling like an outsider #even when i know my friends love me i just feel so alone. always forever. I DONT WANT TO LIVE LIKETHIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #whatever. i will finish washing my bedding i will make my bed i willtake a shower #and hopefully. i will sleep through the night #like yhis happening on top of a week straight of getting at MOST 3 hours of sleep a night every night in a row….LOOOOLLLLLLL 🤪 #whatever. im gods least favorite princess and he doesnt know where i came from blah blah blah

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did #bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried #another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one #machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem #god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8 #and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration #ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a #personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up #bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like #yayyy vacation soon ☺️ #ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine #ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought #my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home #god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great #i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc #thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days #and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst #move. bc again. im barely a functional person #god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive #down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno #unrelated

[brad-bakshi-loves-bugs]

people say the home is where the heart is. brad knows it's bullshit, though.

home is where you feel safe.

and the only place brad can feel truly safe is his car. whether it's his old beat up silver 2006 toyota corolla or his shiny new white 2020 audi rs 3, he spends more time in his car than his apartment.

well, when he's not sick, at least.

brad bought his corolla new back in 2006. it was his first car, and he still affectionately refers to it as "ol reliable" even though it's pushing 410k miles. the car's nearly undrivable now - there's something wrong with the transmission and the car rattles suspiciously when he drives faster than 60mph in it, but he keeps it anyway because it's the only non-living thing he's ever been attached to. that old car got him away from his father and zack, after all. he saved for years to buy it.

because the thing is - cars are safe. which is ironic, because people die in their cars far more than they die in their homes. but they aren't murdered in their cars. well, not frequently, at least. brad knows that zack knows his address. no matter how often brad moves, zack has always known his new address in a matter of weeks. brad's given up on constantly uprooting his life to hide from the inevitable.

but there isn't a paper trail to follow when brad is in his car. he can drive as long and as far as he wants, and no one can follow him or stop him. that was part of his reason for getting his current car - he knows zack can't afford a faster car than he has, so theres zero chance of zack stalking and hurting him when he's driving. not to mention the fact that brad doesnt have any neighbors when he's driving around, so he can blast his music as loud as he wants and scream when he's pissed off and no one will ever hear or know. it's a great release.

brad isnt a car guy. he's only owned two cars throughout his entire life. but he would rather die than be carless. thats another reason he kept his corolla when he got his audi - one day, his audi may be in need of repair or something that requires it to be taken into a shop, and brad doesnt feel comfortable without an escape plan. better safe than sorry, after all.

#mythic quest #brad bakshi #headcanon #tay rambles #we are fleeting we are feeling #wafwaf #im not writing all of this into wafwaf it's just something that Exists in that universe as the truth #idk we'll probably see brad driving around aimlessly in later chapters once david stops being a helicopter parent #im currently 3 hours into a 10 hour roadtrip back home from vacation so thats why im writing this #also its something I relate to personally because I drive my shitty ass 2009 toyota camry hybrid for 50-100 miles a night #when it's working that is #I literally go out at 2am and drive around for 2 hours blasting my music and taking the winding backroads driving twice the speed limit #WHEN IT'S SAFE TO DO SO TO CLARIFY #but like I fucking LOVE driving it's so relaxing #and I have really bad monophobia but it doesnt apply when im in the car #so I don't feel safe being home alone which sucks because im way too introverted to be surrounded by people 24/7 #but in the car? I can be alone forever and not be scared #me in my fully locked and secured house: but what if someone breaks in and kills me #me in my 2 ton death machine that's barely functional: this is my emotional support car and where I feel safest #so yeah thats brad too he just doesn't have the monophobia aspect and instead has very good reasons for being scared of his home #im just a big baby

[kasumingo]

I think I'm finally figuring out that the chronic tiredness I'm feeling might be the case of constant decision fatigue cause my brain is small and easily overwhelmed

#i have like #3 or 4 regular tasks i've been putting away on top of everything #just because i'm overwhelmed all the time #txt #and it means being barely functional #cause it extends to me neglecting even basic life functions #like eating

[spaaceeboyy]

note for all the parent out there:

please do not yell at your child because they are sick and stressed and tired. this child is overwhelmed already and you screaming at them about their missing assignment from november is not helping.

#2 days in a row i've been yelled at for not doing my barely worth any points old assignments #meanwhile i've got 3 current ones that i'm not done with and are nearing their deadline #so i stay up late doing all this shit #then im tired and cant function at school #and then it just fucking cycles #im sorry for gettin carried away in the tags- #vent