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riverdale-retread · 3 years

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Riverdale S5 Ep 11. (The Voicemail Episode) - 5 things I loved/ 3 Things to Consider (potentially, spoilers)

Things I Loved:

1. I loved that Riverdale, this (formerly) teen show, was blatantly making a radical commentary about both religion and male violence, but in this sneaky way with a ‘silly’ looking trippy drugged-out music video. The statement is this: Religion = Drugs = Righteous Violence of Young Men. Marx said that religion is the opiate of the masses, and Riverdale answered, Nah, it's more like shrooms.

And in fact, according to the show, being two sweet girls hanging out dancing and having fun is better than religion and righteous violence. Further, violence is Archie’s drug. I mean this is a set of pretty bold statements, people. I will also add the crazy young man vigilantes of Riverdale making the Batman rope-slide entrance was fabulous, but I also liked that the music made fun of them, like, Y’all think you’re being heroic but this is so dumb.

2. If you read my retread of Seasons 1 through 4 (the true ending, which was “Graduation”) you’ll know that I love scenes of Jughead Jones waking up from sleep. He’s so good at it, and I don't know if my abiding interest in this specific thing elevates this to some sort of kink but I’m ok with that, if it is. (Please tell me in the comments if Watching a Cute Boy Wake Up From Sleep is an actual kink.) In this episode, Jughead is startled awake by a loud noise from a fevered sleep, and then becomes gradually more alarmed at the noises outside and I loved it.

3. This is not an anti-man blog here, so I will try to tread carefully, but I mean, I absolutely loved that the women are so much better than the men at everything in this episode.

Exhibit A:

Penelope’s cult is so much better than Edgar Evernever’s! And she is being so honest - Penelope always emotionally worshiped her son, like a lot of misogynist mothers of sons do, and now she’s literally worshiping him. Also a religion that is founded on a deceased person is much sturdier, I feel, than a religion that is like Worship Me (which is Edgar’s religion). Plus Penelope is echoing what Jughead used to say about Jason - that his death laid bare the sins of Riverdale! There’s robes in Penelope’s religion, colorful ones, singing and communion and imbibing from a magic goblet. (Can you tell I was raised Catholic? I still love statuary, robes and altars SO much).

Exhibit B:

Tabitha and Betty are so much better than Jughead at everything, including getting high! (Jughead is currently just so bad at life he can’t even get high correctly, poor lamb.) They are better at taking care of their domestic lives and are appalled at how Jughead lives. Tabitha modeling openness and transparency for Betty was terrific: She asks Betty for help and makes sure to tell her, though it’s difficult, about that ‘don’t be such a Betty’ comment and the fact that Jughead made a pass at Tabitha, so that she can make her decision to participate with the full set of relevant facts. Betty’s reaction of wtf?? followed by snorting and then moving right on - I like grown up Betty SO much. She knows it’s not true - they always had fun together, did Bughead, so she’s like, That’s a weird thing to say and then SHRUG.

Exhibit C:

Even when burly men are in a violent confrontation in this episode, the mastermind for both teams is a woman - Veronica on one side, Darla on the other.

4. I loved the two voicemails from Jughead. Yes yes, of course I would because #Jughead Stan but also - hear me out! - because they rang so emotionally true for me, and showed the difference between still-adolescent Jughead and the now-more-adult Jughead.

First, the one to Tabitha: These mushrooms make people say & do what they really think, apparently, so Jughead hit on Tabitha because he’s really attracted to her, and his non-defensive, roll-with-punches adult-self apologizing in this abashed but not self-hating way, and the way he is still hopeful that he stands a chance, was lovely.

The weepy, upset voicemail to Betty was expert fan service for the Jughead Stans, but it was thrilling for everyone else too if the HUGE amount of chatter about it is anything to go by. (Not all thrills are pleasant). I think it’s because there was a lot of truth packed into both his voicemail and her reaction (while high, but again, the mushrooms make you tell your truth).

Truth 1: It’s important to express yourself when you’re upset. Otherwise it comes bursting out at the wrong time, like pus from a festering wound, in a way that helps no one and may hurt you the most. Truth 2: Having an ex hung up on you is no fun. Truth 3: Being confronted with an utterance like, I regret THE ENTIRE time I’ve known you, can make you lose perspective, as in, Betty playing that voicemail isn’t a serve on anyone other than herself and Jughead, together, and that’s why the kind Tabitha won’t bring it up again.

There is SO MUCH discourse about that word “bitch” and a lot of it is very well argued, but I feel no urge to pick a side. What *I* have to say about that is, Jughead using that word in that way with that tone definitively marked an end of Bughead 1.0. If there’s going to be a Bughead 2.0, it’s going to have to be really different.

5. I love the character set ups for Reggie and Fangs. Fangs first - is this guy like the world’s most perfect ex boyfriend or what? Fangs is infinitely kind to Kevin. And Reggie - he’s abused by his dad but he is also loyal to his dad, working for “a Lodge” which he doesn’t actually seem to like in the little that he says about it, to ‘pay off’ his Dad’s debt. I like the adult that Reggie has become. “This isn’t high school.” His calm “Nah, the bad guys pay better” felt like a breath of fresh bracing cynical air but then the actor also managed to push my But I Can Fix Him buttons so kudos, to you, good sir.

3 Things to Think About

a)Veronica is told it's the DIVORCE that is making Archie not want sex but please recall that the Riverdale High School is decimated and Archie is in the process of putting his genitals - oops sorry - THE BUILDING back together. He doesn't have a libido without the Riverdale High School building. I've been telling you.

b)Tabitha voluntarily enters into an agreement to lie (by omission) to Jughead about the manuscript handover to Jessica and the playing of the voicemail message. She doesn't know this yet but so far a rule of Riverdale is that you must not lie to Jughead or bad things happen. Interested to see if the rule still holds for Adult Jughead.

c) The show is very much doubling down on the fact that they think using other people’s lives as fiction is absolutely unforgivable. Riverdale absolutely hates drug dealers (which is why the Serpents are alcohol runners, and kicked out drug dealers) and yet even though Jessica is totally a drug dealer that Betty Cooper fake-FBI knows is a drug dealer, AND SHE NON CONSENSUALLY DRUGGED TWO WOMEN WHO SAID NO ALREADY, but the fact that she didn’t want her life used in a fictional outlet trumps literally everything.

#Riverdale Positivity #riverdale s5 #Jughead Jones Voicemail #Bughead Voicemail #Season 5b is FINALLY airing in my region and I am so thrilled to be getting my Riverdale content again #i love this show so much #it cheers me up and distracts me from the badness in the world #and it's great! i love riverdale without irony or distance or sneering #these are also getting really long again #why can't i be concise

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