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oddinary4bts · 2 years

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The Boy with Galaxies in his Eyes | jjk

☆summary: you had never thought the night sky could be found in someone’s eyes. That is, until you met Jeon Jungkook and his gravity pulled you in. Will he crush you with the galaxies in his eyes, or will you learn to explore his worlds and make them yours?

☆pairing: Jeon Jungkook x female tattoo artist reader

☆rating: 18+

☆genre: fwb to lovers, idol!au, angst (a lot), smut (a whole lot too), fluff

☆warnings: oc’s ex-boyfriend died and it takes an important place in the story, swearing, fuckboy Jungkook, fuckgirl oc, a whole bunch of red flags, miscommunication (they learn how to communicate don’t worry), exes that can’t stay out of your life, alcohol, they be a little toxic but they get better, explicit content: fingering, pussy slapping, squirting, oral sex (male and female receiving), mouth fucking, dirty talking, jungkook has a slight begging kink and an exhibitionism kink (not that present in the fic), dom!jk, switch!reader, car sex, sex in a tent, hair pulling (I think), tits/nipple play, unprotected sex, a little bit of ass slapping, mentions of choking

☆word count: 52.9k

☆playlist: I made a playlist for the fic, that is sort of timed with the scenes if you want to give it a listen while you read! (I spent way too much time doing that HAHA)

☆a/n: I love everything about this fic. Everything was so easy to write, like the story was already written in my head and I was just transcribing it. I’ve never felt like that with a story, and perhaps that’s why the word count grew so quickly (I did decide not to write everything I had planned and still here we are). I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it. Once again, I reiterate that this fic deals with a lot of grief and it might get heavy. If you need to talk to someone, please reach out, my dms are always open for you all <3

☆a/n pt 2: MOST IMPORTANTLY, shout out to my beautiful beta reader, @moonleeai <3. This story would be nothing without you and I will forever be thankful for your help. You are amazing and a true gift <3

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

In your universe, there was a boy with galaxies in his eyes. Someone that held whole worlds in his gaze, worlds unexplored by anyone before. Territories left untouched, unspoiled by human exploration. He was a firm believer in outer space, in planets and stars and nebulas. For someone that held them in his eyes, he didn’t look up at the night sky enough, didn’t take time to enjoy the constellations in which he swam. But he loved them nonetheless, with a heart made of gold that he had locked up far in his depths. So far no spacecraft could reach it and no human touch was enough. Until he met a girl with a mirror in her eyes, someone that was just like him. Someone that held the whole world in her gaze, yet hid it behind closed doors. Someone that had been hurt, in the past, so bad she didn’t let her galaxies shine anymore.

And maybe that, most of all, was what pulled in the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

*****

If there was one thing you had understood, as a young tattoo artist, it was that Friday nights were a profitable night, with all the drunk people seeking for a permanent imprint of their revelry on their skin. You had put your ink on more drunken bodies than you could remember, though you had always made sure these tattoos were top of your art.

God knew you didn’t need any bad reviews for your shop. So far, the reviews had mostly been positive, with people coming back sober to thank you about your art. It had led to you having quite a reputation, and an impressive following on your Instagram, where you posted every tattoo with the consent of its owner.

One thing led to another, and famous people started going to you for their own tattoos – drunk or not – and you barely even were surprised when you saw them walk into your shop. Usually, that is.

Because when Jeon Jungkook walked into your shop, on a late Friday evening in the middle of June, surrounded by a small crowd of his friends, your mouth fell open, and you blinked a couple of times, willing the image to change.

Or just for it to start making sense, because your brain was struggling to understand. He had not even contacted you in advance. Had you known, you wouldn’t have scheduled someone already.

And as you sat there, looking at Jungkook over the young girl you were tattooing, gazes meeting like an intimate embrace, you were struck dumb. You couldn’t find anything to say but stare.

Now, you had never been a big fan of his. But it was hard not to know who he was, when you had lived in Seoul your whole life. BTS was a big thing, whether you liked their music or not.

“Good evening”, he said, bowing his head.

It took you a moment to register the slur in his words – Jeon Jungkook was drunk in your tattoo shop. So were his friends, as they giggled behind him. Jungkook was clearly attempting to look sober, with a serious look on his face, but the blush on his cheeks was selling him.

“Hello”, you replied, bowing back.

You glanced at the girl you were working on, tattoo pen hovering over the skin of her arm, and the half-finished fine line fish you were drawing there. The girl was looking at Jungkook, mouth hanging open, eyes so wide you thought they were going to bulge out of her head.

You hoped you didn’t look like that because, even with the kindness she had addressed to you all night, she truly looked ridiculous.

“Are you closing soon?” Jungkook asked, scanning your shop once before meeting your gaze again.

You blinked once more, almost expecting the scene to change, but when your eyes opened again, Jungkook was still there.

“Miss Seo is my last client of the evening”, was your reply. You straightened, trying to appear more professional. “Do you wish to get tattooed tonight?”

A tall man behind Jungkook snorted, and another one of them elbowed him in the ribs. You were pretty sure the first one was Cha Eunwoo, but you didn’t recognize the other one. Nor did you recognize any of the other men.

Jungkook clearly tried to keep his cool, though the corner of his lips were shaking with a suppressed laugh. “If you can, yes. We’ll pay double.”

You let out a small laugh, tilting your head to the side. “There’s no need to pay more.” You glanced at the girl, and at her still wide eyes. “I’ll be done in about thirty minutes, if you want to come back then.”

The grin that moved on Jungkook’s mouth had your brain going into a frenzy, and you looked down at the tattoo. Trying to ignore the curious gaze that he still had on you, as if he wasn’t quite ready to look away, and join into the victorious cheers his drunk friends were exchanging.

“Oh God”, Seo Bomi, your client, let out, as your pen pricked her skin again.

You threw her a concerned look. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, cheeks so red she seemed to be about to implode. Quite like you felt, in all honesty. Because Jungkook had taken a few steps closer, while his friends were lingering by the door.

“Can I watch?” he asked, and you looked up to him as he stopped next to Bomi.

It was quite the sight to see, Jeon Jungkook looking down at you like that. It had your blood turning hot in your veins, as you gulped.

“If Miss Seo is comfortable, yeah”, you replied.

Your hands had never shaken when you had tattooed someone before, and you knew that they wouldn’t start today. No matter if you had an audience – you were confident in your talents, and maybe that, most of all, was behind your success.

Bomi’s face turned alarmed, her eyes growing a little wider. Jungkook got the clue and he stepped back, a friendly smile moving on his lips.

“You know what, I think we’ll grab another beer before”, he said. “We’ll be back in thirty minutes.”

You nodded, smiling at him. “Don’t be late.”

His smile melted into a smirk and he winked, “I’d never be late for you.”

He was gone before your brain had registered his words. Before you could even meet the flirtatiousness that had inhabited his sentence. It left you stunned for a moment.

“I knew you tattooed celebrities all the time, but I wasn’t expecting to see the ‘97 liners here tonight.” Bomi’s pretty voice was still a little strained from the embarrassment, and she let out a tiny giggle.

You focused back on reality, eyeing her. Had she heard Jungkook flirting at all, or was that just you?

“I wasn’t expecting them tonight either”, you replied, and you only then noticed your heart was beating out of your chest.

The night promised to be exciting, yes, and quite profitable for your tattoo shop.

If you didn’t make a fool out of yourself, that is.

*****

“Stay still”, you told Jaehyun for the thousandth time.

Of all of Jungkook’s friends, he was the only one that hadn’t seemed excited about getting tattooed, and you hadn’t even begun to draw on his skin.

“Sorry”, he apologized again.

You offered him a reassuring smile, before bringing the pen closer to his skin. He stiffened again, but this time he didn’t move, and you pressed the tip of your pen on the tender skin of the inside of his wrist.

He winced, but surprisingly remained still. Which was a relief, because it was getting particularly late, and you still had two of them to tattoo – Eunwoo and Jungkook.

Jungkook had asked to be last, claiming he wanted to watch you work on his friends. You had accepted, though you hadn’t expected him to sit so close to you. So close you could feel the side of his knee brush against your thigh, and your mind kept zeroing in on the spot where you touched.

Focus, Y/n.

You pushed Jungkook out of your thoughts, as you started drawing the small 97 the group had decided to get tattooed. Apparently, the decision to get the art had been taken when they were all sober, though as they had indulged in alcohol, they had decided to come to you tonight, instead of waiting to contact you first.

It was a rather unexpected turn of events for you, but you weren’t going to complain.

Jungkook moved closer, as your hair obstructed his view. He was leaning on his thighs, elbows resting on his knees, head on his closed fists. From so close, you could smell the alcohol on him, and the rich husky smell of his cologne. An expensive fragrance undoubtedly.

“How long have you been a tattoo artist?” he asked, and his warm breath brushed your cheek, making blood rush to your face.

“Ever since I graduated high school”, you replied, voice small as you focused on the pattern on Jaehyun’s skin.

“Don’t distract her”, Jaehyun warned his friend.

Jungkook let out a manly chuckle, one that had your heart squeezing in your chest, just enough for you to lift the tattoo pen.

“Sorry”, he apologized.

He leaned back on the stool he had brought closer to you, glancing at the rest of his friends, who were sitting on the couches next to the door. They were drinking soju – they had asked if they could first, of course – playing a drinking game that had them cheering a lot louder than needed.

Not that you minded, you had never been distracted by noise before. No, you had always been good at tuning out your surroundings.

Except when Jeon Jungkook was part of said surroundings, it seemed.

You finished Jaehyun’s tattoo in relative peace, even if your heart was still being a little piece of shit in your chest. Eunwoo’s tattoo went just as well, as Jungkook had followed back Jaehyun to the rest of the group, leaving you with enough room to breathe – for once.

Eunwoo offered you a friendly conversation as you worked on his skin, just enough to allow you to focus on him and him only – which helped, because you finished the tattoo a little quicker, wiping his wrist of the excess ink as you sat straighter.

“Thank you”, he said, smiling brightly.

It had you breathing in sharply, as you bowed your head. He chuckled, and you looked back up to his face.

“Have fun with Jaykay”, he said, his grin a little too knowing for your own good.

You only understood why when he joined the rest of his friends, and they told Jungkook they’d be waiting for him back at the place where they had been drinking. The bell on top of the door rang as they filed out, and you just sat there for a moment, as Jungkook told them he’d be quick.

There was a weird silence, once his friends were gone. The kind of silence that felt as if it was heavy with questions, yet nobody wished to break it. Or maybe you were just a coward, because being alone in this relative calmness with Jungkook had your mind playing tricks on you.

He looked at you, a lazy smile adorning his lips, before he took a few steps towards you.

“Well, I guess it’s my turn”, he said, and you nodded.

You pressed your lips in a thin line and got up, to get everything ready for him. He watched you move carefully, remaining silent, as he sat in the chair where you had tattooed the rest of his friends.

He only spoke once you sat back down next to him.

“I’ve been wanting to come here for a while”, he admitted, voice low, as you grabbed his arm to put it in the right position for you to access the spot he had pointed to earlier, when you had asked all of them where they wanted the tattoo.

Your hands stilled on him, and you looked up to meet his gaze.

Jungkook had big eyes. Big round doe eyes that seemed infinitely innocent. Yet, you felt like a prey under the depths they held, as if they’d swallow you whole if they could. It was attracting, in the same way sirens attracted sailors – beautiful, yes, but deathly nonetheless.

“You have?” you replied, once the silence had stretched to the point of discomfort.

You were almost sure you saw him gulp.

“I’ve heard a lot about you”, he answered.

He was the one to break the eye contact, and the intensity that had filled the air between you dwindled away.

“I hope you’ve heard mostly good things”, you said, a little teasingly.

He chuckled. “Only good things”, he agreed. “Jimin loves his moon phase tattoo.”

You had indeed been the one to permanently put the moons on Jimin’s skin, a few months ago. It had been planned for a while though – not like Jungkook’s appearance in your shop earlier.

“I’m proud of the result”, you said pensively as you recalled the day when Jimin had come.

It had been a stormy day, and he had seemed as if the rain had infected him with its bleakness. You hadn’t said anything, because you didn’t know him enough to ask about his personal life, and knew better than to ask anything to your celebrity clients.

There was a reason why they chose to come to you after all. Your professionality being at the top of the list. And your relationship with Jimin hadn’t gone beyond that – he had just been your client, and you, the artist. So you had focused on tattooing him, talking to him about everything and nothing in the hope that he’d leave with a smile on his face. He had, and you could only hope that it had lingered.

Jungkook’s face had fallen softer as you were lost in the memory, and you blushed as you focused back on him.

“As you should”, he replied, and then his eyes dropped to your hands on his arms.

Your own gaze followed his, and you took in the sight of his sleeve of tattoos. Drank in the sight, in all honesty, trailing from his wrist to his elbow, before exploring further up, up to the place where the art disappeared under the sleeve of his oversized black t-shirt. Your eyes went back down, until they settled on the spot in the inside of his elbow, the only spot that was void of ink.

You ran a finger on it, barely even grazing it, and Jungkook laughed.

“That tickled”, he said.

You echoed his laugh, before gazing up at him again. He met your eyes, wetting his lips before offering you a small grin.

“I assume I don’t need to tell you it might hurt”, you said, voice just a little low, taking a sultry tone you hadn’t even aimed for.

His big eyes narrowed a little, taking on a more dangerous expression. “I like a little pain, don’t worry.”

You chuckled, before going straight to work. And maybe it was the fact that his gaze was still burning on your profile, and that the atmosphere of your shop had turned a little heated, but you said, “That makes two of us.”

His manly chuckle met your ears again. “You don’t even have tattoos.”

You let a smirk grow on your lips, even though you didn’t glance at him. “Oh, I keep my tattoos in more hidden places.”

He leaned his head against the chair, tilting it to the side. “Like where?”

You straightened, pushing your hair over your shoulder, before slightly turning your head away from him, pointing behind your ear, where you had a small sun tattoo. “Like here.”

His eyes were a little dark as you met his gaze. “I’d hardly call that a hidden place.”

You shook your head slightly, before resuming your work on his arm. You finished the 9 before you spoke again. “It would be unprofessional for me to show one of my clients the rest of my tattoos.”

From the corner of your eyes, you saw Jungkook’s tongue dart out of his mouth as he wet his lips. “How unfortunate.”

And really, your other tattoos weren’t in particularly intimate places, but they were intimate enough for you not to like showing them. You had one on the side of your hip – a snake, with a small moon next to the s that formed its body. Your only other tattoo was the fine line tattoo of a rose and a dagger on your ribs, on your right side. The rose bloomed right next to your boob, and that most of all kept you from showing him.

As you remained silent, Jungkook let out a small chuckle. “How many other tattoos do you have?”

“Two”, you said as you started working on the 7.

“That’s not a lot, for a tattoo artist.”

He wasn’t wrong, most tattoo artists had more tattoos than you. You just had always been the kind of person to never do anything without a reason – so you kept your skin a blank canvas, for the reasons you’d encounter as you’d grow older.

You shrugged, glancing once at him. “I still have my life ahead of me to get more.”

His smirk turned into a genuine smile, and he nodded. “I get that.”

You fell into a comfortable silence as you finished working on the seven, and you wondered when Jungkook had sobered up. Because, really, he seemed to have sobered up before your eyes, as if he had not even indulged in alcohol in the first place. Or maybe you were the one that had become drunk with the proximity of him which, to be fair, was a high possibility too.

You wiped his skin as you finished, putting your tattoo pen down on the small table next to you. Jungkook was looking down at the tattoo as you watched him. He had an appreciative smile on his lips when he finally met your gaze.

“I know that wasn’t a lot of work for you, but you really are good at what you do.”

There was warmth, in his praise, warmth that awoke many emotions inside of you. Needless to say, none of them were appropriate with a client.

“I know”, you said, confidence seeping from your words. “I’m good at many things.”

“Is that so?” he asked, pushing himself up until he could throw his legs on the side of the chair. It brought him dangerously close to you.

You shrugged. “Or so I’ve been told.”

He laughed, rolling his eyes, though there was no animosity behind the action. “And yet you keep your tattoos a secret.”

“Everyone likes a little mystery”, you replied, winking at him before getting up.

You had to put distance between you and him, no matter how easy it was to flirt with him. No matter how much you burned under his gaze. It was strange because you barely knew him. Though, you had always been comfortable with meaningless connections, just not with a client.

“Are you a mystery?” he asked.

It sounded genuine, and you found yourself looking at him. Meeting the universes and the stars in his gaze. You felt as if you were about to lose your balance, and fall into his eyes. It was frightening.

“That is a good question, Jeon Jungkook.”

Another one of his chuckles filled the room, as he got up too. He stepped away, even if most of you had expected him to move closer. It made you wonder who was really inebriated between you two, and you were quite sure you didn’t want to know the answer to that.

Because even if you had barely met him, your whole body was burning up from his proximity. As if his pheromones, aligned with yours perfectly, rendered your attraction animalistic. It was basic biology, and far harder to resist than you thought it would be.

But you resisted, because he was a client, and he had drunk, and really Jeon Jungkook was a predator. You had to preserve yourself.

“I’ll pay for the others”, he said after a moment, as you both just stared at each other.

There was something, in the air, that was making you act up. That was making him act up too, visibly. Because his gaze held an intensity you couldn’t interpret, but that your body was begging you to dive into.

A predator, and one of the bad ones.

“Let me get my card reader”, you replied, breathing in sharply as he looked away from you to pull his black card out of his wallet.

As he did that, you quickly moved to where you kept the electronic device, dreading the moment you’d have to step closer to him for him to pay. It was like you’d be sucked in the gravity of a black hole, and God knew you didn’t want to meet the horizon.

You’d never be able to step away.

You grabbed the card reader, turning to look at Jungkook who had followed you, unbeknownst to you. He was standing close, yet far enough for you to escape his gravity. You wet your lips, before putting in the amount he had to pay, and handing him the device.

His eyes didn’t leave yours as he slid the card in, slowly, a smirk moving on his lips.

“You have a pretty smile”, he complimented you.

It took you aback, and you wondered if he could hear the war in your mind. In your whole body, and you didn’t know which side would win.

He is a client.

“Thank you”, you replied breathlessly, before letting a smirk of your own grow on your lips.

He wanted to be a predator? Then he’ll get a taste of the animal that lurked under your skin too.

“You have pretty eyes, but I’m sure I’m not the first girl to tell you that.”

His smirk froze, as his eyes grew a little inquisitive. A little curious.

“Hardly”, he agreed. “Would you like to be the last to tell me?”

You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “We both know that won’t happen.”

The card reader beeped as the payment was authorized, breaking the tension. Jungkook pulled his card out, before handing you the device. He held onto it as you grabbed it, just for a few seconds before letting it go. You didn’t know what to make of it.

“Do we?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper, behind that husky tone it had taken.

You wet your lips, slowly, coaxing his eyes to drop to your mouth. When it worked, a triumphant smirk broke on your features. You were in control now, and it put you right back into your comfort zone.

“I do”, you said. “Aren’t your friends waiting for you?”

He met your gaze again, defying you. You weren’t willing to relinquish victory, so you held it, unblinking, pulling at some dry skin on your bottom lip. You even went all the way to tilting your head to the side, putting your hair behind your ear so he’d get a look at your exposed neck.

You didn’t know why, but a lot of guys found themselves ensnared by an exposed neck. And for all he was, Jeon Jungkook was also a man, and so he reacted like one.

Eyes dropping to your neck, moving up to your mouth, and then meeting your gaze again. You had won, and the defeat in his eyes made you feel even warmer. Threatened to make you lose too.

“I guess they are”, he replied, tongue playing with his lip piercing. You exchanged another steaming look, and you struggled to hold his gaze. He was trying to regain a control you didn’t want to let go of. “I’ll see you around?”

You chuckled, airily, looking around your shop. “You know where to find me.”

Shit. That was an invitation if you had ever seen one.

And just like that the victorious smirk switched to his lips, and he nodded. “That I do.”

Your own smirk turned into a smile, and you looked him up and down, one last time.

“I’ll wish you a good night, Jeon Jungkook.”

He tutted. “That won’t do. You haven’t told me your name yet.”

It took you by surprise, but a lot less than his next words.

“And last time I checked, your number wasn’t in my phone yet.”

You rolled your eyes, at his cleverness, before chuckling.

“I don’t establish personal relationships with my clients”, you said, voice low. It was a warning of some sort, if he was willing to listen to it. But from the little you knew of him, in the few hours since he had stepped into your shop, you knew he wouldn’t listen.

Especially not when he had the advantage.

“What if I want to schedule an appointment with you? I’d need a number, wouldn’t I?”

You shook your head. “You can dm me on Instagram. That’s what Jimin did.”

He clenched his jaw, the smirk dying on his lips. “Alright then.” He nodded once, slowly, before glancing over his shoulder at the door. “Keep your name a secret too.” He winked at you as he looked at you again. “Keep the mystery alive.”

That had you laughing, a real laugh, not one that hinted at sultriness. “Isn’t that more fun?”

He was genuinely smiling as you finished speaking. “Maybe it is.” He nodded again. “Maybe it is.”

*****

It had been two weeks since Jungkook and his friends had come to your shop. Two weeks since he had walked into your life and made you feel like he had: like he was the center of the universe, and you were going to gravitate back to him, no matter what you did.

You had never really experienced that before. Irrational attraction, that is. You had your share of sexcapades, that was for sure, but nothing had felt like only a look from Jungkook had felt. And maybe that was why he kept haunting your nights, to the point that you’d wake up feeling hot and bothered.

You were going crazy, for someone you barely even knew. Someone you had only touched through the gloves you wore when you tattooed your clients, yet someone your fingers were itching to touch again.

That night, when you had gone home, you had half expected him to dm you right away. But he hadn’t, remaining stubbornly silent, hitting you with his own mystery. A mystery that slowly turned into a reality, as he didn’t come back into your life.

It was like the tattoos had never happened, as if you had imagined him and his friends standing there in your shop. If it wasn’t for the pictures of the tattoos that you had seen moving around the internet, you would have truly thought he’d just been a fever dream. The thing is, he hadn’t been, and your body was aching to see him again.

If only you had given him your phone number…

It was a thought that entertained your dreams, late at night, but even in your waken hours. It was strange, how he’d made you weak so easily, with just his physical presence. Even his absence rendered you weak now, and you hated it.

Hated the power he had gained over you.

It was strange, really, how intrigued you were with him. Because again it wasn’t like you, to be attracted to someone like that, wishing you hadn’t let them go. And it wasn’t because he was Jeon Jungkook, no, it fully was because of the tension that had taken over you. Over him, too, from the looks of it.

It led you to wonder if he did that with many girls. Flirt, that is. Offered them pieces of himself, scattering himself to the four corners of the Earth without a single regret. It was a show of liberty, in your imagination, something you fully agreed with. Something you experienced more than enough, though you rather liked your mystery.

You rather liked that nobody in the field really knew who you were, apart from your Instagram name. It let you have more control over your own life, and God knew how much you liked control. Not to the point of being obsessive, but you liked to know what was going on, all the time.

And maybe that was mostly why Jungkook still haunted your thoughts. Because you had no idea where he was, what he’d been doing, after making you feel like he was the center of the universe. After making your body react to his in such a way.

“Are you even listening to me?” your friend Aera asked.

Your brain focused back to the present, and to the restaurant around you. To the clatter of the chopsticks and spoons on the plates and bowls, and to the buzzing of conversation. To the sizzling of the meat on the grill, and the smoke that twirled in the air between you and Aera.

“Sorry”, you apologized. “You were saying?”

“Minchae knows someone having a party with some famous people”, Aera repeated.

The annoyingly pretty and overly rich Minchae, who had her little crowd of admirers wherever she went. Most of all, Minchae was the sweetest soul out there, and it was hard for you to hate her. You just were ticked off by her, as if there was something she hid. Call it intuition or whatever.

“Aishi”, you breathed, and Aera narrowed her eyes at you.

“I thought you could do some networking or something”, she said, shrugging her shoulders. “Get more celebrities to come to your shop.”

When she started wiggling her brows, you shook your head laughing, cursing her under your breath.

Lovingly, of course.

“Will you let it go?” you asked.

She straightened, taking on the most serious look she could muster up. “Never.” She then laughed, before meeting your gaze.

There was a malicious light in there, and it only made you roll your eyes as you grabbed the tongs to put the cooked meat on your plate and hers.

“You’ve been obsessing over Jungkook”, she pointed out. “I think you just need a good fuck.”

“Aera!” you yelped, looking around to make sure nobody had heard her. “Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true”, she said matter-of-factly, laughing at the daggers your gaze threw her way. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you are a crazy fangirl.”

Choosing peace over war, you ignored her last comment.

“No but seriously”, she added, refusing to drop it. “We should go to the party. Maybe you can chat up a nice guy, and fuck Jungkook out of your system.”

“I won’t even comment on how disgusting that was.”

“You have one nights all the time, don’t act all prude on me.” She paused, as she took a bite of food. “Also, you know how I like Minchae’s parties, we always end up having a blast.”

That was very true, whether you liked it or not. You and Aera had always been party girls, and Minchae opened the door to a totally different crowd than what the usual clubs of Seoul held, a crowd you found you preferred. Not because they were rich, that you didn’t care about. No, because they often carried themselves with more respect than the regular population.

The result of their reputation being their most important brand, you assumed.

“I’ll go only if you let me tattoo a butterfly on the back of your neck”, you teased her, in reference to a drama she had absolutely hated.

You had personally found the main lead’s red flags to be quite attractive, but maybe that was just because you didn’t really do relationships at all, and Park Jae-eon reminded you of yourself, to a certain extent. Except you hadn’t met your ‘Yu Nabi’ yet, and doubted you’d meet one someday.

“Ew, I don’t want you to defile my perfect skin with your ink”, she said, shaking her head forcefully. “And a butterfly? You’re a traitor.”

You laughed heartily, taking a bite of your food before replying. “I swear I’ll tattoo you someday. And you’ll love it.”

“No thanks”, Aera said. “I’d rather die.”

“You’re just afraid of needles.”

“And what about it?”

You laughed again, along with her.

“What’s in it for me, if we go to the party?” you asked once your laughter had subsided.

Aera pondered for a time, index finger tapping on her chin. “A night of blissful fun and temporary pleasure?”

“Are you trying to write a poem or something?”

“No, just trying to convince you to go”, she said, chuckling. “Please?”

You shook your head, rolling your eyes. “Alright, we’ll go. But you pay the taxi home.”

You had been friends with Hong Aera for as long as you could remember. You had grown up together, and attended elementary school, middle school and high school together. People had often thought you were twins because of how inseparable you were. Though you had parted ways when she had chosen to go to college, and you opened your tattoo shop with the money you inherited when your grandmother passed away. Your parents had disapproved wildly, but Aera’s support had been all you needed.

And even if your parents still disapproved to this day, they refrained from telling you so. Maybe because you had made a name for yourself in the tattoo industry, but mostly you thought it was because Aera was going to be a surgeon, and she had told them she’d take care of you if need be.

Not that you would ever need it. You made plenty of money practicing your art and you didn’t need more to feel complete. No, you rather liked the life you lived, with all the freedom and the emancipation that it held.

Minchae’s party was held at a private venue, in a posh part of Seoul, not so far from your tattoo shop, in all truth. You needed invitations to get in, so Aera and you found yourselves waiting outside for Minchae to come fetch you.

You weren’t surprised when the girl stepped out with a pretty man on her arm.

You were startled, though, by the realization that it was Jaehyun.

“Hi!” Minchae squeaked as she saw you and Aera, throwing her arms around your necks to pull you into a hug that had you wincing a little.

You had never liked public displays of affection.

Jaehyun met your gaze over Minchae’s shoulders, his eyes widening at the sight of you. He then smiled as he recognized you. You pulled away from Minchae just in time to bow to him and Minchae looked between you two.

“You know each other?” she asked, head tilted to the side prettily.

Jaehyun held out his wrist in the space between you, showing the tattoo you had imprinted on his skin two weeks ago. It was enough explanation for Minchae to connect the dots, and you met her gaze. You swore there was a disapproving light in her eyes, though it lasted for less than a fraction of a second, turning into a warm look.

“Y/n is the one who tattooed you all?” she said, clapping her hands excitedly. “That’s adorable.”

Jaehyun nodded, slowly, as if he wasn’t quite sure if Minchae was being honest, or if she was throwing shade at you. It made you smile wryly, and you two shared a supportive look that went unnoticed to the two other girls completing the square you formed.

“Well”, Jaehyun let out. “I’ll let you girls in.”

And that he sure did, with just a slight bow of his head to the bouncer in front of the door. Bouncer that eyed you suspiciously, but didn’t say anything.

You followed Jaehyun up a narrow and dark staircase, each step up increasing the volume of the music, until a door opened to what looked like an actual rave. Indeed, a large dance floor covered most of the floor, and throbbing lights provided enough lighting for you to see the dancing mingling bodies. A bar stood on the other side of the dance floor, up a small flight of stairs, though it was hard to distinguish it, with the lights and the smoke that lingered in the air. Tables were pushed against the walls of the private club, with a couple of actual booths residing in one of the corners of the room.

A shot of electricity went through your blood at the sight, and you and Aera shared an ecstatic look, right as Jaehyun led you to the booth where he and his friends were waiting.

Maybe you had been stupid, to not realize that it meant you’d probably run into Jeon Jungkook, when you had first seen Jaehyun outside. Or maybe you had just been waiting for the moment he’d reappear into your life, as if the gravity between you was too strong for him to resist. And you were glad he had reappeared like that, without you having to do anything.

It gave you a weird sense of control. Even though he was sitting with a pretty girl next to him, lost in a conversation with her. Yet, as you neared the booth, Jungkook’s eyes slid to you, and his gaze stopped on you, taking you in. Drinking you in, looking you up and down until his eyes met yours with a knowing light.

Maybe you had no control whatsoever.

“This is Aera”, Minchae introduced your friend, before motioning to you. “And you already know Y/n.”

Jungkook’s eyes hadn’t moved from you, and a knowing smirk grew on his lips.

“Y/n”, he whispered, as if tasting your name in his mouth.

Even though you couldn’t hear him with the music in the club, seeing his lips move with the shape of your name had your blood turning hot in your veins.

You bowed your head, eyes never leaving his, even as you felt the girl’s gaze on you. It was a stranger’s gaze, and you didn’t care about her. Not when Jungkook had your whole focus.

“Nice to meet you”, Aera said, looking around the table. Stopping on Jungkook’s friends – Cha Eunwoo and Kim Mingyu – before skimming over the girl at Jungkook’s side. Only then did Aera look at you, with a malevolent glint in her eyes.

She had known Jungkook was there all along, hadn’t she? You met her gaze, eyes dipping to the smirk that was growing on her lips, and you both let out a small laugh. The kind of laughs only close friends could share, the ones that usually held a whole conversation.

It had everyone looking at you, including Minchae, though she was pretty used to you and Aera already. You didn’t acknowledge her, instead looking back towards Jungkook, as his two friends struggled to scooch out of the booth to hug you and Aera. Aera’s hands remained on Eunwoo for a little longer than needed, and you tucked that piece of information to the back of your mind.

You’d give her shit for it as soon as you got a moment alone.

“Didn’t expect to see you again”, Eunwoo said as he moved towards you. “Thank you, for the tattoo.”

You glanced at the spot on his arm, before looking up at his pretty features. “It was my pleasure. You guys were fun to tattoo, even though you were drunk.”

Eunwoo laughed. “That we were.” He motioned over his shoulder, in the general direction of Jungkook. “Jungkook-ah didn’t give you too much of a hard time?”

You tilted your head in confusion at the smirk that was on his lips when he finished his sentence. “Should he have?”

It was said flirtingly, somehow, with your eyes trailing to Jungkook. He met your gaze, wet his lips, and then turned his head towards the pretty girl by his side. She shone under his attention, the corners of her mouth moving upwards as she bashed her eyelashes. You didn’t know if she had done it on purpose, but you would have sneered at her hadn’t you been talking to Eunwoo.

Realizing you hadn’t been paying attention to his reply.

“Sorry, what was that?” you asked, focusing your attention back on him.

He chuckled, hands digging in the pockets of his pants. “I was saying he asked us to leave you alone.”

You had known it, somehow. Expected it, maybe, but hearing the confirmation felt like a small victory. You had been right – you had an effect on Jungkook too. And even though he was solely focused on the pretty girl next to him right now, you knew the night was young.

You had plenty of time to gravitate back in his orbit. Or him in yours, because you weren’t going to wait for him. Not when his attractive friends were all too ready to party with Aera, Minchae and you.

Especially not when you danced with Aera as she had her eyes set on Eunwoo, grinding on you, showing him just what he was missing. And when she tilted her head to the side, pretty neck exposed, you pressed a kiss on her skin, sucking it in just a little, before meeting Eunwoo’s gaze. You winked at him, challenging him to take your place.

You were pretty sure he was gulping, but it didn’t matter, because you were already pushing Aera towards him. Your job here was done. So, you turned towards Mingyu, as Minchae was dancing with Jaehyun already. Mingyu seemed startled under your attention, and you wondered if maybe he was too pure, for the kind of thoughts that lurked in your mind whenever you found yourself entranced by the music of a club. Whenever you found yourself entranced by the presence of Jeon Jungkook in your vicinity. And he was right there, in your line of sight. Still at the table, with the pretty girl, but you could tell she was losing his attention. Indeed, his eyes were on you, following your every move. You chose that moment to smirk, swaying your hips provocatively, before looking at Mingyu again.

Mingyu seemed to cower under the intensity in your gaze, even though it wasn’t directed at him. No, your blood was still very much boiling for Jungkook.

“You and your friends are always like that?” Mingyu asked innocently as you took a step closer to him, standing close enough for his voice to carry to your ears even with the loud music.

You shrugged. “Only with pretty boys.”

He shook his head, chuckling lightly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It was one.”

You shared a smile, though Mingyu seemed too shy, for you. As much as you liked to bring boys out of their shells, he wasn’t one you wanted to play with. He was a client even though your professional relationship was over now.

Unless he chose to come back to you for another tattoo, of course.

Before you could say something, a hand found its way to the small of your back. You smirked knowingly, as the smell of his cologne hit your nose.

“Having fun?” Jungkook asked, leaning close to speak in your ear.

Your eyes were still boring into Mingyu’s gaze when you replied, “Were you getting jealous?”

Mingyu laughed, looking between you and Jungkook. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

He was gone in an instant, but you kept looking at the spot where he had disappeared, refusing to look at Jungkook. You wouldn’t give in to him. After all, he was a client too.

“Well, you were putting on quite the show”, Jungkook replied, hot breath tickling the side of your face. “Y/n.”

Your name, said in that husky tone of his… it had your insides burning white hot.

“Weren’t you busy with…” you trailed off, because you had no idea what the girl’s name had been.

He chuckled manly. “Not when I have a chance to unveil the mystery.”

The hand on the small of your back hadn’t moved, and your focus zeroed in on it as he stroked your back gently, the sweet movement such a stark contrast with the sultriness in his tone that you glanced at him.

A mistake, because the galaxies his eyes held pulled you in their gravity, and this time you knew you wouldn’t be able to step back.

“Oh, maybe if you had dmed me you’d have a chance”, you said, voice low, as your eyes dipped to the piercing on his lip, right as his tongue played with it. You imagined playing with it yourself, as heat pooled between your legs.

How could someone have such a strong effect on you?

He cocked his head to the side, a dangerous look taking over his features as he too glanced at your lips. “I don’t chase girls.”

Was he offering you dominance in the silent battle between you two so easily?

“Then what are you doing here, Jeon Jungkook?”

You knew you had won and so did he. His eyes crinkled with amusement, stars swirling in their depths. “Had to save poor Mingyu, he looked terrified.”

“Oh, he’s a client, he had nothing to worry about.”

“Is that why you’re looking at me like that too?”

The question confused you slightly, threatening to make the victory fall in his camp. “Maybe I look at everyone like that.”

It was a lie. You knew you had never looked at anyone like you were looking at Jungkook, like he was an oasis in the middle of the desert.

Jungkook stepped closer, moving in front of you. You hadn’t realized how tall he was, compared to you, until he was standing right there in front of you, head tilting down to look at you.

“You’re a hungry one, aren’t you?”

“Is there something wrong with it?” you asked.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “No, it makes you easy to read.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, and the victory slipped out of your reach. “What?”

He wet his lips, let them spread into a smirk. “I know I just have to do this”, he said, one hand coming up to your face, thumb brushing your mouth, “to get you to reveal your secrets.”

Maybe you hadn’t lost after all. “In your dreams.”

And you grabbed his thumb, sucking on it gently, tongue playing with it for half a second before you pulled away, taking a step back from Jungkook.

“You won’t have me so easily, Jeon Jungkook.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re really going to make me chase, aren’t you?”

You winked at him. “Isn’t it more fun like that?”

He seemed to ponder it for a time, as the tension between you became easier to deal with. Perhaps because you had put a little distance between you, and his gravity was lesser where you stood.

“I don’t know, Y/n, I don’t know”, he replied. He laughed again, as if in disbelief, his eyes moving down your frame before meeting your own again. “I hadn’t realized how small you were.”

You refused to admit to him you had thought the opposite of him, just a moment ago.

“Do you want a drink?” he offered.

It had you glance at Aera, who was grinding on Eunwoo now, and at Minchae, who danced with her forehead pressed against Jaehyun’s. Maybe you had been looking for salvation, because seeing them busy had a drop of cold sweat forming on your brow.

You couldn’t afford to be alone with Jungkook any longer, or else your body would win against your mind.

“As a client thanking you”, Jungkook quickly added, raising his hands as if to show he was harmless. “And I’ll let you have your little secrets.”

“You’d buy me a drink, without expecting anything in return?”

He shrugged. “I’m not going to ask anything of you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

And you weren’t at all. Just knew the lava in your blood was going to melt you down if you kept looking at him. So, you looked away once again, this time meeting Aera’s gaze. She glanced between you two pointedly, before her eyes slid to Eunwoo as he said something in her ear.

You hadn’t needed anything more to know what she wanted to tell you, with those pretty big eyes of hers. Go with him. And maybe you were resisting for no other reasons than the fact that Jungkook was very much the type of guy you liked to toy with. Those men that loved themselves far too much, and thought the whole world loved them too.

To be fair, Jungkook was at the receiving end of a lot of love in this world. Far more than you would ever be.

“I like whiskey”, you told him.

He smirked, nodding appreciatively. “It’s a good thing I like it too.” His hand reached for yours, big hand wrapping around your small one, pulling you behind him as he headed towards the bar.

It felt strange, to be led by him, but you took advantage of that time to drop your gaze to his tattooed arm, once again drinking in the sight of the ink on his skin. As if you hadn’t had enough when he had been in your shop two weeks ago.

The tattoos were well done, if you were being honest. Set in his skin by an expert hand. They were different from your style – you were more of a fine or thin line tattoo artist, with a few exceptions along the way. Yet their style fit him well, making him seem manlier than his pretty doe eyes did, as he glanced at you over his shoulder.

Meeting his gaze then felt different, and you hated it. You rather preferred the lust to whatever it was that his gaze was painted with right now. So, you smirked, and his gaze darkened again, pulling you in its stars and galaxies.

You walked up the flight of stairs, heading towards the bar. People moved out of your way, as they recognized Jungkook. They looked at you curiously, but you knew they wouldn’t speak. Or maybe you just hoped they wouldn’t, because he was still firmly holding your hand.

“We’ll have two whiskeys”, he told the barmaid, before finally letting your hand go as he rested an elbow on the bar.

You stopped next to him, glancing once at him, before letting your gaze wander on the array of alcohol on the wall, illuminated by a red light in the ceiling. You knew his eyes were boring into your profile, but you stubbornly kept your gaze on the bottles.

He chuckled once again, and that more than anything had you glancing at him. “What’s funny?” you asked him.

“Nothing.” He shrugged, before grabbing one of the glasses the barmaid had put in front of you. He handed it to you, and you accepted it with a small bow of your head before taking a sip, turning your head away from him. It had his smirk widen into a grin.

“What?” you asked as you turned back towards him

“I’m older than you, am I not?”

Oh, he was good, wasn’t he?

“Maybe”, you replied. You winked at him as he took a sip of his own glass, his eyes not leaving yours.

“You don’t look all that young, so I’d say you’re 24?”

“And you’re what, 26?”

He nodded his head, before winking at you. “See, I told you you’re easy to read.”

You couldn’t help the small laugh you let out this time. “I didn’t even tell you if I really am 24.”

“Well I am 26.”

You nodded a little, taking a sip from your glass. This time, you didn’t look away from him, letting the alcohol roll on your tongue.

“No respect for your elders?”

In all truth, you were 26 too. In Korean age, that is. You didn’t tell it to Jungkook though, letting him connect the dots by himself. And it took him a moment, but his face soon enough lit up with understanding.

“You are 26 too, aren’t you?”

“Maybe I am”, you said, chuckling and he shook his head disapprovingly.

“This is going to become annoying, is it not?”

You cocked your head to the side innocently. “What is?”

“You, refusing to answer a question.” His eyes moved on your features, glancing down at the finger you moved on the rim of your glass.

“Yes, I am 26.”

He smiled, nudging you gently. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”

“Didn’t you say you weren’t going to ask me anything?” You pursed your lips, trying to keep a smirk in.

“A pain in the ass, really.”

His comment took you by surprise, and you burst out laughing. He joined in, seemingly relieved that you had found him funny. When your laughter subsided, you found yourself gazing into his eyes again. Losing your train of thought as he glanced down at your lips again, wetting his own, before running a hand through his hair.

It had you look at his hair, and at the way it almost fell in his eyes. Maybe if it was a tiny bit longer, he wouldn’t be able to look at you with such intensity. Maybe then, you wouldn’t find yourself craving for more, as the silence between you filled with tension again.

“What’s your favourite tattoo?” he asked, out of the blue.

You froze because you did have an answer to that question. One you weren’t willing to give him, and probably never would be.

“I love all of them”, you chose to say. “What’s yours?”

He glanced down at his arm, turning it so he could see the Bulletproof tattoo on his forearm. Your eyes hadn’t dropped to the art yet, and you didn’t miss the way confusion moved in his gaze, quickly followed by a darkness that had nothing to do with lust, before the emotion was gone.

It slapped you across the face. He had looked heartbroken, for half a beat. As if the tattoo held a bad memory – and as your eyes followed his, you could see that it was a cover-up.

You didn’t let the questions in your mind form on your lips, as he turned his arm the other way to show you a snake tattoo.

“I like this one”, he said. “I got it a couple of months ago.”

Your hand darted out between you, until your fingers grazed the skin of his tattoo, following the lines. “You like dark and thick tattoos, don’t you?”

“I do”, he said, and he took you by surprise as he added, “I know they aren’t your type”.

They really weren’t, and you were surprised he knew. “You have been stalking me, haven’t you?”

He shrugged. “I’d be lying if I said I haven’t taken a look at your Instagram.”

And yet he hadn’t dmed you. Perhaps he liked the chase more than he wanted to admit, when it was in his favour.

“Do you like fine line tattoos?” you asked him.

He met your gaze, finally looking up from the art on his arm. “I’d like to have one, if you’re the one that’s going to put it on my skin.”

So, the flirting was back. You tried not to let your mind wander to the darkness you had seen in his eyes – as if all the galaxies and stars had perished – and rather liked to tell yourself you succeeded.

“As I told you two weeks ago, you know where to find me.”

He drank from his whiskey, rolling it in his mouth before he swallowed. “Then I’ll have to come visit you soon.”

“My door is always open for you.”

He chuckled, as he watched you sip from your glass.

“You don’t drink fast, do you?”

“I like to enjoy my whiskey”, you said, shrugging your shoulders. “This one is a good one.”

He smirked. “I wouldn’t get something cheap for you.”

You rolled your eyes, though a playful smile moved on your lips. “Well then, thank you, Jeon Jungkook.”

You fell silent again, and you met the intensity that was simpering from his gaze once more. You didn’t shy away from it, not even as your mind wondered what the cause behind it was. If Jeon Jungkook gave himself away far too much because he was trying to forget something, or maybe to forget someone. To fuck them out of his system, like Aera had suggested you’d do.

You let him flirt, and flirted back without a single ounce of shame, even as he moved a little closer to you, one hand resting on your hip, as you pointed to where your own snake tattoo was. His thumb brushed the spot over the fabric, and it burned so hard you took in a sharp breath.

When he met your gaze, you could tell something had changed. And you weren’t sure if it was in you, or if it was in him, that the change had happened. Just that your mind was losing its battle.

“I thought you’d want to keep your tattoos a secret”, Jungkook murmured.

You were currently on your second glass of whiskey, and the rich peppery-oak alcohol was starting to numb your mind a little. Your mind and your inhibitions, it seemed.

“I only told you because you also have a snake tattoo”, you said.

He cocked an eyebrow. “I doubt yours looks like mine.”

It was an open door if you had ever seen one.

“Are you trying to get me to let you look at it?” you asked, tilting your head to the side.

He wet his lips, before shrugging his shoulders, though he remained silent. Just kept his heavy gaze on you; eyes brimming with gravity and stars, black holes and everything deep space holds. It pulled you in, ensnared you better than anything could have had. Better than his words could, better than the memory of his fingers on your hip could.

“Will you be nice and not touch, if I let you look at it?” you asked, voice dripping with lust.

It took even you by surprise, as his eyes trailed down to the spot you had indicated. It felt as if he was undressing you, and you only then realized how much you actually wanted him to do so.

Maybe Aera was right, and you just needed to fuck him out of your system.

“I won’t do anything you don’t ask me to do”, he replied, voice so low it sounded like a growl.

And his pretty big eyes were set in that same dangerous look, the one that held more black holes than stars, the one you couldn’t escape from. So, you took a step forward, brushed a hand on his bicep, before glancing up at his face. “Well then maybe we should find somewhere private.”

He nodded, a smirk spreading on his lips. “It’s a good thing I know just the place.”

“Then show me the way.” You finished your glass, holding out your hand for him to take. His eyes dropped to it, and you were surprised at the gentleness his fingers took on as they gently wrapped around your own. The touch was so light you barely even were sure it was there, as if he was afraid he’d crush your fingers if he held onto you.

Such a gentle touch, for the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

*****

“Where are you bringing me?” you asked, giggling a little as Jungkook pulled you behind him in the street, the orange glow of the streetlights painting the scene in a familiar tone.

It made you feel young, as if you were still a teenager, breaking rules you didn’t even know existed.

“We’re almost there”, Jungkook said, and he walked a little faster.

Your tiny legs had to break into a small jog to keep up with him, and you cursed at him under your breath.

“What if someone sees us?” you asked.

It was a useless question. The streets were completely empty, save for you, the man in front of you, and the crescent of the moon in the sky.

“Then I’m in for one hell of a scolding”, he replied truthfully. He chuckled, glancing over his shoulders. “Good thing we’re here.”

You looked around as he dropped your hand, moving towards the garage door to your left. Your brows creased in confusion, even more so as he pressed a code in next to the door, and it started sliding up.

“Where are we?” you asked, but Jungkook ignored your question as he fished keys out of his pocket to unlock the glass door that had appeared behind the garage one.

You caught sight of a drum lesson ad on the glass, though Jungkook grabbed your hand to pull you in before you could say anything.

The front room of the music studio was small, only illuminated by the neon lights outside. The tile floor reflected the light, just enough for you to see Jungkook was leading you towards a door in the back, one that had no windows whatsoever.

The next room was dark, save for the rectangle of light that came from outside. Jungkook seemed to know his way around, because you heard his feet scuffling on the floor as he made his way in, leaving you at the door. A few seconds later, the sound stopped, and fairy lights lit up.

It indeed was a music studio, with two complete sets of drums on each side of it, along with a few guitars on the wall. Fairy lights were hung up where the ceiling met the walls, circling the whole room, creating an atmosphere that was far more romantic than the posters that decorated the room – heavy metal groups, from the looks of it.

Except the single BTS one, white in the sea of darker ones, that had Jungkook’s autograph on it.

“I take drum lessons here”, Jungkook said, and you glanced at him, standing on the other side of the room.

His hands had found their way to his pockets, and he was looking at you with a curious look. He almost looked vulnerable, with those big doe eyes of his.

“Do you bring a lot of girls here?” you asked as you moved into the space, walking behind one of the drum sets to make your way to the BTS poster.

Jungkook chuckled, and once again it didn’t sound flirtatious at all. Just vulnerable, like he was afraid you’d judge him. “No, I don’t.”

That made you look at him, your gaze caressing his features until it landed on the lip piercing he was biting at.

“Don’t lie to me”, you whispered, and you looked away, because his eyes had lost their intensity, and he looked far too honest for your own good.

“I’m showing you a piece of me, because you said you’d show me a piece of you”, he said, shrugging his shoulders. As if it was normal for him to do something like that. It was so sweet it had you looking at him again. “Just trying to make you comfortable”, he finished.

You pondered for a time, lips pouting a little as your eyes lost their focus on the room around you. “What makes you think I’m not comfortable around you?”

He had a winning smirk on his lips when you looked at him again. “Because you keep squirming under my gaze?”

Jeon Jungkook definitely knew what he was doing. Showing a little bit of vulnerability, just to ensnare you further, until you were so tangled up in his web he could eat you alive. And although you usually were one to bite back, you found he was indeed right.

You were squirming under his gaze. And it rendered you speechless, as he took a step toward you. You didn’t let him finish crossing the distance between you, instead turning to look at the poster.

“It’s so out of place”, you said, motioning to it. Trying to switch the subject, which proved to be completely useless as Jungkook stopped behind you, far enough so he didn’t touch you, but close enough so you could feel him right there.

He was radiating a warmth that had your mind going into overdrive.

“Why is that?” he asked, and your breath hitched in your throat as he brushed your hair off from your shoulder, revealing your neck. He chuckled then, before leaning in to whisper in your ear. “Relax, I’m just trying to take a good look at your sun tattoo.”

You gulped, staying still as you assumed his eyes were roaming around the skin of your neck, landing on the tattoo. He chuckled, before making you turn around.

“I have a seven, in the exact same spot”, he told you, before turning his head to show you.

You couldn’t resist reaching up to trace your finger along the lines of the tattoo, ever so gently, and Jungkook stiffened under your touch, as if just that had been enough for lust to erupt inside of him.

Much like it had been enough for you too.

“For the seven members?” you asked, and your hand finally fell back at your side.

He nodded, and galaxies shone as he looked at you. “Yeah.”

Another silence, another beat of tension.

You were going insane.

“Are you going to show me your other tattoos, now?” he asked, right as his eyes dropped to your mouth. Staying there, as you bit at your lower lip.

It was a nervous habit of yours, but it seemed to do something to him.

“Here?”

He wet his lips, his tongue pushing on the inside of his cheek as his head tilted to the side. “It’s just us two.”

“What if someone comes in?”

He looked towards the studio door, and it seemed to take everything in him to decide to move. But he did, walking towards the door and closing it.

Locking it.

“I doubt someone would come here at this hour, but just to be sure”, he said, as he prowled towards you, taking his sweet time.

His eyes moved down to the side of your hip, boring through the fabric. You could feel their burning kiss over the snake on your skin, and you instinctively reached down, hiding the spot with your hand.

Not that it changed anything.

“You can’t touch”, you murmured.

And you were glad you were wearing a skirt, because watching his eyes following it as it inched upwards on your thighs had heat pooling between your legs.

“I promise I won’t”, he whispered, stopping so close to you you could feel his heat again.

You pulled your skirt all the way up, turning a little until he could see the snake. The snake and your lacy white thong, though most of you was still hidden.

He breathed in sharply, eyes looking down at you. You were so close you doubted he could have a good view, so you took a step back. It led to you leaning against the wall, as his galaxies drank you in.

“It suits you well”, he said, eyes moving up your frame until he met your gaze.

“You think so?” You cocked your head to the side, as he nodded. “Do you want to touch it?”

He smirked, shaking his head slightly. “You are dangerous.”

“So are you, Jeon Jungkook.”

“But I’m a client, am I not?”

Common sense couldn’t cut through the lust clouding your mind. “I touched your tattoos, it’s only fair you touch mine, no?”

He played with his piercing, eyes boring into yours, as you were still holding your skirt up. “What do you want me to touch you with?”

It was your turn to suck in a sharp breath. “You can start with your fingers.”

He nodded, and his tattooed hand reached out. His touch was light, as he followed the body of the snake, but it left a burning trail behind it. “Just my fingers?”

You were going to die tonight, you were pretty sure of it now.

“What else do you want to touch me with?”

He laughed, dangerously. “You’re the one in control, Y/n. What do you want me to do?”

It surprised you, that he let you have control. But maybe he was relinquishing it just to pull you into his gravity further, letting you think you had the advantage until you were stuck on his horizon, heading for the singularity at the middle of the universe in his eyes.

“What do you like to do, with your fingers?”

Burning. You were burning, and so was he, with his dark gaze filled with stars and galaxies. So much so that you thought you’d combust.

His fingers moved, ever so slowly, heading closer to the heat between your legs. “Do you want me to touch you there?” he asked, as his digits barely even grazed you above your panties.

Your panties were getting more soaked by the seconds, and your eyes fluttered close. “We shouldn’t.”

His hand moved away from you, and you wanted to curse him. Until he spoke. “We can just do it for fun, you know.”

You chuckled. “That never works out.”

“But it’s fun while it lasts.”

He was right. And you liked that fun too, the thrilling of giving your body while your heart stayed unavailable, and your mind stayed unreachable. But Jeon Jungkook was treacherous, with his gravity and stars: he had already invaded your mind.

“Touch me”, you breathed, and your eyelids fluttered open so you could see the emotions on his face. The lust and the desire and the passion. They had taken over him too.

“Just my fingers?” He cocked his head to the side, and it was almost arrogant, in a male way that did wonders to your already soaked pussy.

“You’re afraid you can’t get me off with just your fingers?” you asked, smirking as surprise moved on his features.

He hadn’t expected you to still have a bite in you, hadn’t he?

“Oh, I’m not worried”, he said, right as he pressed his thumb against your middle, right where your juice was already seeping through the fabric of your thong. “You’re already so wet.”

You tried to hold his gaze as his thumb moved up, pressing against your clit, but as soon as it reached the bundle of nerves, your eyes shut, and you rested your head against the wall.

He moved his thumb in slow circles, never pressing harder, teasing you with just enough sensitivity for your body to be craving more. It wasn’t enough to get you off at all, just enough to frustrate your pussy, and it clenched around nothing.

He played with you a little longer, and he was smirking when you finally found the strength to meet his gaze again.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Taking my time to unravel the mystery.”

He pressed harder then, and a breathy sound fell from your mouth.

“Stop teasing”, you warned him.

“Or what?”

You bit your lip in frustration. “Do you want me to touch you?”

“No”, he said. “I want to play with you.”

It was a red flag if you had ever seen one. Why then was red your favourite color?

“Play with me harder and faster”, you told him.

He obeyed, his other hand moving to pull your soaked panties to the side, before he pressed his thumb back on your clit. Your eyes shut again, and he slid his thumb between your lips, to collect your juices, before moving back up to your clit.

“Like that?” he asked, punctuating his question with a harder touch, and you let out another breathy sound. He chuckled, and stopped moving for a second. “You are so hot.”

And then, it was like something had clicked in his head. As if his galaxies had swallowed him whole too, and he had lost control of himself. Because he started moving in quick circles, with just the perfect pressure, and the hand that was holding your panties to the side started playing with your lips, until a long finger pushed inside of you, spreading your walls lightly.

He cursed then, a small word that made you clench around him, as his finger curled to find that perfect spot.

“You’re so fucking wet.”

It was true, you were drenched, pussy making squelching sounds as he started pumping in and out, adding another finger. You moaned, one of your hands moving to your breast, massaging it through your shirt and your bra, and your eyes slid open.

He had a feral look on his face, almost as if he was in pain, from just touching you with his fingers. But you liked the tease too, and as much as you knew his piercing would do wonders against you, you didn’t ask him for more.

Maybe you were more in control than you felt like you were, even though you were slowly unraveling, inching closer to your high.

The wet sounds between your legs were pornographic, as he picked up the pace, eyes locked with yours, until he slid his gaze down between your legs, where his hands were working on you.

“You’re so wet I’ve got juice dripping from my wrist”, he groaned, and you moaned louder as he added a third finger, stretching you open wide.

Your grip on your skirt faltered, and it fell on his arm, as he kept fingering you like his life depended on it. You were getting closer, pleasure building up in the pit of your stomach, and your eyes struggled to keep looking at him. He was watching you, studying your every move, searching for every little tell your body gave him. And it gave many, as your hand grabbed his wrist, nails digging in his skin.

He hissed, though he just started moving faster, as if he was still holding back.

He was going to be the death of you.

Your knees buckled, with the increase in speed, and Jungkook slowed down, looking between your eyes.

“Do you need to lie down?”

You didn’t reply, instead rocking your hips forward, fucking yourself on his fingers. He smirked, before pulling away, leaving you empty, with your juices dropping on the ground.

“Lie down”, he ordered, motioning towards the other side of the room.

It took a moment for your eyes to adjust, but you noticed a leather couch over there. You made a step towards it, but Jungkook grabbed your wrist, with the hand whose thumb had been playing with your clit. He then reached up with his other hand, fingers glistening with your juices grazing your lips.

Your tongue darted out, licking his fingers, until he pushed them in your mouth. You sucked on his digits, your tongue moving against the pads, eyes boring into his. Into the blackness of his eyes. It felt like you were free falling, and you reached between you, hand blindly aiming for the imprint of his dick.

He took a step back, pulling his fingers out of your mouth as he tutted. “I told you not to touch me, didn’t I?”

“Why?” you asked, unable to help yourself.

He shrugged, winking at you. “We need to keep some of the mystery alive.”

You wanted to roll your eyes at him, but then his hand fell to your breast, massaging it a little, much like you had been doing earlier.

“Don’t you have another tattoo?” he asked.

That one you weren’t ready to show him. At all. So you shrugged, a little like he just had, before heading to the couch. Sitting on it, eyes searching his gaze as he moved closer. The predator and its prey, stuck in their deathly dance.

“Do you want me to touch you with something else?” he asked.

You chuckled. “Still don’t believe you can get me off with just your fingers?”

Without any warning, Jungkook pulled on your ankles, until your ass was on the edge of the couch. He kneeled on the floor between your open legs, and his hands caressed the skin of your thighs as they moved up, inching closer to your heat again, pulling your skirt up.

“I know I can, I just want to make you feel good.”

He grabbed your panties, pulling them down your legs, moving to the side a little so he could get them off your right leg. He let them dangle from your left leg, as his eyes fell from your own gaze to your pussy.

“You are so fucking hot”, he said, and he wet his lips, as if he was a starved man and you, the last meal on Earth.

“You want to eat me out?” you asked.

He chuckled. “I won’t eat you out before I’ve even kissed you”, he said. “Besides, I want to see you come on my hands first.”

On that note, he pushed two fingers inside of you again, and your head threw back, resting against the couch.

“Fuck…” you cursed.

Another manly chuckle escaped him as he established a slower rhythm this time. He used his thumb to rub circles on your clit again, as his other hand pushed your legs open wider.

“So fucking wet…”

“Go faster”, you breathed.

He tutted again. “Nobody has ever taught you how to say please, mmh?”

Jeon Jungkook had a begging kink?

“Just fucking do it”, you growled, as the knot in your core tightened, refusing to uncoil.

His hand pulled out, and he slapped your pussy. The initial shock had you seeing stars, and you looked down at him, at him and the devilish look on his face.

“Be a good girl and ask nicely”, he said.

You bit down on your lip, almost enough to draw blood. He waited, looking at you pointedly as his digits hovered at your entrance, waiting for the word to dive in again.

“Please go faster”, you replied, in almost a whine, and the victorious smirk on his lips made you see stars again.

His fingers, too, as they pushed in and out once, before pumping in and out so quickly you couldn’t tell where one movement ended and the other began. The pleasure all blended in together, as his thumb moved back to work on your sensitive clit.

You moaned, clenching on his fingers and he growled, adding scissoring motions to the whole ordeal.

“I’m going to come”, you said, right as the knot built up again.

It was starting to uncoil when Jungkook said, “Come for me, pretty girl”.

And you did, with a high-pitched moan that rang in your ears as the first wave of your orgasm hit you, bringing you to a height you had never visited before. Your pussy pulsed around his fingers, and he slowed down to milk your orgasm out of you as the second wave crashed into you.

“Fuck”, you breathed, and one of your hands grabbed his wrist again, holding onto him as his fingers fucked into you.

The third wave was a little lesser, though he kept moving, eyes following you through the waves of your pleasure. Until he stopped feeling you clenching. Then his thumb stopped moving, but his fingers stayed deep inside of you, still curling up, still playing with your g-spot.

“Have you ever squirted before?” he asked.

You met his gaze, gulping. “No guy has ever made me squirt”, you replied truthfully, your mind far too lust-filled for you to craft a flirty lie.

He pulled his fingers out of you to make you lie down on the couch, as you watched him through your heavy lids. He then put a knee on the couch, his other leg finding footing on the ground, before his tattooed hand moved between your legs again.

“Happy to oblige.”

Your eyes widened just a little as he dove right in, fingers curling up to meet your oversensitive g-spot. You cried out, and when you moved to reach between you two, Jungkook grabbed your hands and put them over your head, holding you in place.

You squirmed a little, but he just kept going, kept pushing against your g-spot, so quickly and hard that your eyes lost all their focus. Your legs started shaking, and you let out a string of broken moans. The squelching sound became louder, and you tried to close your thighs around his wrist, as if searching for more pressure.

“Let go when you want”, he breathed and you moaned in response, right as another knot tightened in your belly.

A completely different one, that ached just a little, and your eyes found his. Found his galaxies, and dove right in, swam right into their depths, until the knot exploded and you squirted, his fingers leaving your tight walls to circle your clit in a frenetic dance.

And as soon as you finished, he went right back in, pulling another orgasm out of you as if it was nothing. As if you were just playdough underneath his fingers. Maybe you were, and he was just shaping you up, until you resembled more of a mess than a living thing, as you kept moaning underneath him.

You lost count of how many times he made you come. Just knew that your mind was so blissed out you couldn’t really remember your name. All you knew were his fingers in you, and when they left you empty, your eyes fluttered open.

The lights looked different, with the ecstasy you were swimming in. His features were different too, as if he was changed, by the pleasure he had given you. The galaxies were still there, but they were gentler. Softer. Maybe because you had visited their depths already.

Or so you liked to tell yourself.

“Look at you, making a mess out of the leather couch”, he said, and it took a moment for his words to register. For you to prop yourself up on your elbows, and see the puddle between your legs.

“Holy fuck”, you muttered, falling back down as your arms gave out.

He laughed, and you watched as he scanned the room for something to clean the mess with. “I’ll be right back.”

He got up, moving out of the room, leaving you alone in that ocean of bliss you were floating in. And it felt better than anything you had ever felt – as if you had reached nirvana. You only hoped it would last.

“There you go”, he said as he came back, with paper towels he had probably fished from the bathroom. He had brought actual toilet paper too, and he handed that to you as he started cleaning the couch.

You slowly started cleaning yourself up. Your hands shook a little with the afterglow of ecstasy now that you were starting to come down.

“Holy fuck”, you said again, and Jungkook laughed.

He met your gaze, and his face was lit up from within, as if he had reached peak happiness. It was the strangest thing to see, after all the lust it had held a moment ago. As if making you come like that had been enough to get him off too.

“You liked that?”

You held his gaze, cocking an eyebrow. “Liked?” You laughed airily, shaking your head in disbelief. “What the hell was that?”

He shrugged, as if what he had just pulled out of you was the easiest thing he had ever done. “I made you squirt.”

You gave him a no-bullshit look.

“Had you never squirted before at all?” he enquired, curiosity taking over his features.

You slowly shook your head. “I came before, but I didn’t… not like that.”

His lips spread into a grin. “I’m glad I’m the first one.”

He looked cute, with that grin on his lips. It made his eyes crinkle at the corners, and his cheeks puff up just a little. It made the galaxies look like promises of uncharted territory, a territory you wanted to explore.

You pushed yourself up again, this time successfully sitting. “I’m pretty sure we ruined the couch”, you said, as your eyes looked at the spot Jungkook had just finished cleaning up.

“I’ll come back tomorrow with stuff to actually clean the leather”, he reassured you. “They are closed tomorrow, so no one will know.”

It hit you then, that he had just pulled out of you a dozen of the most mind-blowing orgasms you had ever had, all in the middle of a public space.

You would have been lying if you said it didn’t turn you on even more.

“Should we add your mess, then?” you asked.

A hint of that same passion moved back into his eyes, and he breathed in sharply. It had you looking down at the erection that was pressing against his pants.

“I can make you feel good too.”

He was shaking his head slightly when you looked up. “Not tonight.”

You cocked your head to the side. “You don’t want me to touch you?”

“Oh, believe me, I do”, he said, chuckling a little. “But tonight was about you, and about making you comfortable.”

You would have asked why, had your heart not filled with a strange warmth at his words. You pushed the foreign feeling away, focusing on the lingering lust in you.

“I won’t give myself to you again”, you told him, wetting your lips. Trying to push out of the black holes he had ensnared you with. Trying to swim out of his galaxies, and return to your own body.

He laughed, and said in a knowing tone, “Of course you won’t, Y/n. Of course you won’t.”

Perhaps it was already too late for you.

*****

Art had always been an escape for you. Body art, of all shapes and forms. When you were a kid, you used to draw on your body, until you discovered body paint. Then you did that for a while, until you had met Kim Soobin. Three years older than you, with a full sleeve of tattoos and a love for poetry, Soobin had been the first man you had ever loved. He had taught you how to tattoo, and had left his legacy on your skin, and on your heart.

Soobin had trained you, before you had opened your shop. Had brought in your first clients, speaking praises of you until you were the talk of the field, and people found themselves curious to find out who was that new talent. Soon enough, you didn’t need Soobin anymore, to make a name out of yourself, but you had kept him around.

Young love never lasts, but with him, it did. And sometimes, loving isn’t enough. The universe has different plans, and suddenly you take a side road, and you lose the thing that matters the most. That was what happened with Soobin – only he had been the one to take the side road. He had been the one driving in heavy rain, and he had been the one to die at the hands of a drunk truck driver.

Sometimes, you wondered if you’d still have him around, hadn’t it been for the few fractions of seconds that had led to the truck hitting his car head on. You liked to tell yourself that you would have, and that you’d be considering getting married.

Maybe that, most of all, rendered you completely unavailable for anyone else. And it was okay, it wasn’t like you were looking. You rather enjoyed your temporary connections, and the freedom that it allowed you.

You sighed, pushing your hair behind your ear. Your evening client hadn’t shown up, which had led to you deciding to play with some body paint, trying to figure out what your next tattoo could be. And though you already had a dagger tattooed on your ribs, you found yourself painting one on your thigh, but this time it was made of night and stars.

Perhaps Jeon Jungkook’s effect on you was lasting longer than you had expected it would.

You startled as your phone started ringing, Aera’s name lighting up the screen. You looked down at your paint-covered fingers, before looking at your phone again. Letting it ring until it fell into silence. And as silence filled the air around you again, you focused on your thigh once more. Fell back into the galaxies, and the memories that they held.

No man had ever made you feel as good as Jungkook had. Not even Soobin. And Jungkook had been sweet about it. You had expected him to be cocky, after the whole ordeal, but he had offered you a drink of water. Had asked you if you wanted to eat something, or if you preferred going home. When you had chosen the latter, he had smiled sweetly, before calling you a taxi. He hadn’t talked about seeing you again, and hadn’t contacted you after that.

Maybe that, more than anything, was the reason why you were painting stars and galaxies on your skin right now.

You scoffed, looking up from your thigh, your eyes darting to the vitrine of your shop, and to the street behind it. It was raining heavily, dark clouds looming low on the horizon, and really you felt like going home. Going home and cozying up into a soft blanket, but you didn’t like the rain.

Didn’t want to step out and think about Soobin.

It was a good thing you had a bedroll, in your office. A good thing indeed.

You pushed yourself up, wincing as you left a trail of fingerprints on the floor where you had been sitting. It was nothing you couldn’t clean with water, but it still annoyed you: you liked your shop pristine, no matter if clients were going to show up or not.

You were halfway to the bathroom when the bells of the door cut through the silence, and you stopped, your eyes sliding to the man walking in.

There really was no escaping galaxies, uh?

“Hi”, a very wet Jungkook said, as he shook his hair of the rain. Droplets fell all around him, and it took a moment for his eyes to meet yours. And then they dipped to your legs, and to the body paint on your thigh. A smirk met his lips at the sight of it, and then he looked up again. “What are you doing?”

You were lucky you had chosen to wear a skirt to work – with a weird twist of fate, it was that same skirt you had been wearing the last time you had seen Jungkook – because the skirt hid the top half of your art, the one with the galaxies.

The one you had painted first.

“Body painting”, you replied, cocking an eyebrow. “What else does it look like I’m doing?”

He laughed a sweet laugh that had his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Nothing.” He looked around your shop, as if curious to see if it had changed.

It hadn’t. The only thing that had changed was between you. It was the fact that he had made you squirt like he had, that night a week and a half ago.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, and your eyes followed his hands as they moved to his hair, pushing the wet locks back. It made his biceps pop out a little, and you clenched your teeth at the attraction it pulled out of you.

He shrugged, looking down at the puddle that was forming at his feet. “Sorry for wetting the floor like that.”

“No worries”, you said. You waited for his next words, head tilting to the side, as he met your gaze again.

“I was thinking about getting a new tattoo”, he explained. “Thought you’d be the right person to go to for that.”

A small parallel to the night he had walked in with his friends, it seemed.

“You need to start scheduling appointments”, you reprimanded him, before looking down at yourself. “Let me get cleaned up first.”

He nodded, hands digging in the pockets of his black joggers. And maybe you were stupid, for thinking that Jungkook was a mature man, because when you walked back out of the bathroom, he had paint all over his hands too.

“Oh Gosh”, you let out, and he looked at you from the spot where he was kneeling, sitting back on his heels.

His face took on a startled expression, before he let out a laugh. “Couldn’t help myself. I’ve never used body paint before.”

Something knocked at the back of your mind, but you tried to lock it up: you wouldn’t get horny about Jeon Jungkook painting on you in your tattoo shop.

“You’re worse than a child”, you grumbled as you walked towards him. “You’re going to make a mess.”

He shrugged sheepishly. “I’ll clean up if I do.”

You stopped next to him, cocking an eyebrow. “Will you?”

Now, his face fell into a knowing smirk. “I think you’d be the one to know that I clean up after making a mess.”

You remained silent, as you pursed your lips. As his words left a trail of goosebumps on your skin, that went right down to your core. That ignited a fire there again.

You had tried touching yourself like he had touched you, but there was nothing like those damn fingers of his.

“You don’t talk to me for a week and a half, and then you just come back like that?” you asked, still looking down.

You felt tall, for a moment, and towering over him was way too sweet, for your challenged-filled heart. It gave you even more confidence than you naturally had.

“Would you have liked for me to talk to you?”

You held his inquisitive gaze, doing your best not to let your eyes dip to the lips he wet. “You are hard to follow, Jeon Jungkook.”

He shrugged, before reaching between you. Painting a line on the side of your calf.

“I thought you liked enigmas.”

You gulped, as his hand moved up. You let it reach your thigh before you swatted it away.

“Not when they’re a ghost in my life except when they get horny”, you said, voice low, as you let your gaze fill with the feelings his fingers on your skin had raised in you.

His smirk only widened. “Then good thing I’m here to talk to you about something.”

And before you could say anything else, Jungkook grabbed the back of your legs, making you fall on top of him. You yelped, catching yourself on his shoulders as you ended up straddling him.

“What the fuck, Jeon?” you growled, trying to push yourself away from him. His hands that were holding your legs slid up, under your skirt, until they were resting right below your ass. “That hurt.”

And it had, the shock of your knees on the hardwood floor sending a shot of pain up your spine. You’d definitely have bruises tomorrow.

“I’m sorry”, he said, eyes widening.

That caught your attention. From up close, his eyes held more light than they usually did, as if the galaxies were bigger, closer. And maybe they were, and maybe their gravity was twice as strong, because you found yourself leaning in. Jumping back in his eyes without even an ounce of hesitation.

After all, you were a sucker for outer space.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

It shook you out of your stare, and you pulled at some dry skin on your bottom lip. “I’ll be fine.” You paused, exhaling deeply as your eyes dipped to the piercing he was playing with. “What do you want?”

He smiled then. He was the kind of person who smiled with their eyes first, until their happiness took over the whole of their features, even warming up the space around them.

It made him really hard to look away from.

“I was thinking we could start hanging out more”, he said, looking between your two eyes.

As if he was searching for answers he hadn’t even asked questions about.

“You don’t text me at all and then you think about us hanging out?”

“I’ve been thinking about you.” He chuckled, head cocking to the side. “And I don’t text anyone, ask my friends.”

You stayed silent, trying to determine if there was truth in his eyes. It was hard to tell, with all the stars and galaxies. And you would be damned if you admitted to him you had been thinking about him too.

“Why do you want to hang out with me?”

The question hung heavily in the air between you two. It made his face fall a lot more serious, a lot more dangerous, as he pursed his lips, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. As if you were making him think really hard.

You hoped it was a good sign.

“Do I need to have a reason?” he asked.

Maybe he didn’t really. Maybe you just didn’t trust him at all, with how he made your body react.

“You just want to fuck around”, you stated, because really there was no other reasons you could see.

He shrugged again. “Maybe. But I want it to be with you.”

“Why me?”

He thought for a long time again, and you watched the emotions that moved in his gaze as he did so. And there were a lot of them. Jeon Jungkook was an open book, when you were sitting in his lap.

“I don’t know, you’re really attractive.” He chuckled, shaking his head a little. “You’ve been on my mind since that… night.” His eyes dipped to your lips. “I guess I want more of you.”

It made heat pool between your legs, to have Jeon Jungkook admit he wanted you. So much so that you found your resistance dwindling away.

“I don’t usually have sex with people more than once”, you told him, awaiting his reply with your head cocked to the side.

He wet his lips. “Me neither. But we haven’t had sex, have we?”

It was your turn to search the galaxies in his eyes for an answer to a question you didn’t know. Because you wanted him, hadn’t fucked him out of your system yet. No, he had still been very much so haunting you every night, even more now that you knew just how good he could make you feel. And what would be wrong about having casual sex with him?

You knew he’d always make you feel good.

“You can say no if you don’t want to”, he said as you stayed silent. “I thought I’d ask...”

“What’s in it for me, if I say yes?”

He smirked then, as you gave him the advantage.

You always did, didn’t you?

“Didn’t I make you feel good, that night?” he asked. You nodded, eyelids feeling suddenly heavy with lust at the reminder. “If you’re a good girl, I can make you feel good like that again.”

You tutted, pushing his shoulders back a little. It was awkward, with the position, but he let you lead him until he was lying on the floor, with you on top of him.

“Maybe if you’re a good boy I’ll let you touch me again.”

You breathed the words against his lips, before grabbing his hands and putting them over his head. Glancing at his painted fingertips, you let out a sigh.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve ruined my skirt now.”

He gulped, eyes half shut. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

You pressed a small kiss to the corner of his lips and his eyes fell all the way shut. It severed the connection to the galaxies, and brought you right back to reality. Brought you right back to the fact that you didn’t do relationships like that, because it was a betrayal, to how you truly felt inside.

Soobin still occupied too much of your heart, for you to be willing to risk letting someone else in.

But casual sex… it didn’t mean falling in love. It meant trusting someone enough to let them make you feel good, repeatedly, as you made them feel good too. The thought of it was thrilling, even if Jungkook had just barely hinted at it.

And maybe you had always liked a little risk.

“What do you like, Jeon Jungkook?” you asked as you moved to his neck.

You nibbled at the spot beneath his ear, nose grazing his earrings.

“I like to be in control”, he whispered, and it made you freeze for a moment. Because so did you.

“Then how is it going to work?” you asked. “I like it too.”

He chuckled, a deep sound that reverberated through his chest. “Well, I can let you have some control once in a while.”

You nodded, before sitting up, until your core was pressed against his dick, even though he wasn’t really hard yet. His eyes fluttered open, and their gravity pulled you in once again.

“We should establish rules”, you said, voice low and sultry, as you rolled your hips.

“Yeah”, he breathed. He sat up quickly, hands finding their way back under your skirt. Right on your ass, and he made you grind on him again. “We should see each other at least once a week.”

Were you really going to do this?

“You’ll have to text me, if you want to see me that often”, you murmured, eyes fluttering closed as he pushed into you, just a little, the friction hitting your clit.

“I can do that.” It was said like a promise, that he breathed against your lips as he leaned his forehead against yours. “If we sleep with someone else, we have to use protection.”

It was your turn to roll your hips. “You don’t want to use protection with me?”

“I want to feel every inch of your tight little pussy against me.”

You gulped then, as you started feeling wetness pooling between your legs, soaking your panties. “Good thing I take the pill.”

He chuckled. “That was my next rule.”

“Nu-uh”, you said, shaking your head a little. “It’s my turn to make a rule, isn’t it?”

He remained obediently silent.

“You can’t show up at my work”, you said.

The sound he made resembled a small whine, as you grinded on him again.

“But that’s fun”, he said.

One of your hands got lost in his wet curls, and you pulled at them a little, until his forehead didn’t touch yours anymore. “You like a little bit of exhibitionism?”

You asked the question innocently, batting your eyelashes.

“If you’re comfortable with it”, he replied, meeting your gaze with his own intensity.

His eyes had been taken over by black holes, and you felt yourself falling further in.

“If you let me be in control once in a while, I can do a little bit of public space fun.”

He leaned forward, grabbing your bottom lip between his teeth. He sucked on it, and you let out a breathy sound as he let go of it.

“Consider it done.” He made you grind on him again, and your eyes shut at the feeling of his bulge against you.

He wasn’t hard yet, but he definitely was halfway there. And by the feel of the bulge in his sweats, you knew Jeon Jungkook packed a lot more than you had thought.

Perhaps there was a reason behind his confidence other than that of being a renowned idol.

“No feelings”, he said then. It made you laugh, because this whole ordeal was stupid.

You were making a deal with the devil.

“No feelings”, you agreed. “You’re lucky I don’t fall in love.”

“Neither do I.”

You kissed him then, pulling him closer as you grinded into him, moaning as his tongue met yours. And when you pulled away, you smirked.

“No kissing.”

His eyes widened, and he stilled for a moment. “Then why did you just kiss me?”

“You said you didn’t want to eat me out before kissing me.” You winked at him. “Now you can.”

He let out a laugh, that contrasted deeply with the heated atmosphere that had taken over the shop. It had you look away, glancing at the door. The unlocked door, through which anyone could come in. Your eyes skimmed over the vitrine too, and you knew people could see you, if they were to turn their head as they’d walk past.

As much as it seemed to turn Jungkook on, you weren’t willing to risk your reputation as a tattoo artist for him. You doubted he’d like destroying his own reputation too.

“Let’s go in my office”, you said.

He leaned his forehead against yours, hands sliding from your ass to your thighs. “Don’t you have other rules in mind?”

You only had one: let’s not do it and forget you ever asked. But the smell of his expensive cologne and the warmth of his body so close to yours rendered your mind completely useless. That, and the fact that you were swimming in galaxies now.

“Do you?”

“Let’s make it strictly business”, he said, looking right into your eyes.

There was a vulnerability in his gaze then. It reminded you of the cover-up tattoo, and of the heartbreak that had visited his gaze for a moment, that night.

Jeon Jungkook looked afraid, under the intensity in your gaze.

“I agree”, you whispered.

And maybe you only agreed because you were afraid too.

He smiled, winking at you. “Then let’s head to your office. I’ve been starving for a taste of you.”

You chuckled, before standing. “In your dreams, Jeon Jungkook.”

He followed you up. “Oh, I’m about to make my dreams come to life.”

The wetness between your legs was almost aching, just from his words. Just from the perspective of what you were going to do with him. What you knew he could do to you, with just his fingers.

“Not tonight.” You winked at him, before turning away and walking to the door leading to your office. He followed you, lazily, and you let your hips sway just a little more than necessary – something told you Jeon Jungkook was an ass man. “Not tonight”, you repeated as you walked in the office, letting him come in before shutting the door behind you.

He made to trap you between the door and him, but you stepped to the side. “Why?”

“I’m going to suck your dick”, you answered, and his eyes widened.

“Straight to the point”, he commented, letting out a small laugh.

“You asked for it to be business.” You winked at him, before getting on your knees, eyes never leaving his. He looked down at you, teeth playing with his piercing, as his gaze turned dark, galaxies swallowed whole by the black holes.

“That I did”, he said, voice low, as one of your hands wandered from his waist to his dick.

He was still a little soft, but his cock sat heavily in your hands, even with the joggers and underwear between you and his skin.

“How do you like it?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Show me what you’ve got first.”

You bit on his length, a little harder than necessary, before starting to massage it. “I like it rough”, you said, teeth digging in your bottom lip as you grabbed his dick a little harder.

He thrusted forward, just a little, as if by instinct.

“I know”, he breathed. “Your eyes have been begging me to fuck you senseless ever since I met you.”

You smirked. “But not tonight.”

“Not tonight”, he echoed, right as you undid the knot that was holding his joggers up, before pulling them down. Leaving them to pool around his ankles, as your eyes trailed back to the imprint of his dick.

His underwear was dark grey, and you could see a darker spot at the end of his dick, where precum had already soaked through the material.

“Look at you”, you said, tongue darting to taste him through the fabric. “Your dick is leaking for me.”

“Do something about it.” His voice was low, husky, and there was a warning hidden behind his words.

It only made you want to tease him more. So you left a trail of soft kisses all along his dick, before pressing a kiss to his balls. He watched you carefully, his breathing a little loud in the small space of your office – the room was shaped like a cube, with a small desk against one of the walls taking most of the space. Your bedroll was next to it, already ready for the night.

You knew you’d need it now.

“I want to take my time tasting you”, you breathed, and you ran your hands up his muscular thighs.

It made you wonder what it would feel like, to grind on one of them – you’d definitely need to do that later.

“Just suck my dick, Y/n.”

His brows were knitted as if he was annoyed and you looked back at him, cocking an eyebrow. “Or what?”

It took him a while to reply. “Or I won’t make you come after this.”

You tutted, shaking your head no. “You won’t make me come either way.” You let your hands wander up, until they reached the band of his underwear. Your thumbs dug in and you started pulling the boxers down, eyes never leaving his.

Not even as his cock was freed, resting so close to your face. No, you only looked at it once his underwear was all the way down, and your eyes slowly slid from his to the dick in front of you.

He was big, and prettier than you had thought he’d be. With a large vein moving from base to top, and a red head that looked about to burst. Precum was leaking from the slit and you leaned forward, lightly lapping up his salty juice. He once again thrusted forward, as if trying to fuck your mouth already, and you leaned back to sit on your heels, right hand coming back up to wrap around the base of his dick.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you asked, as you started to slowly move up his shaft, with a light pressure that had to be infuriating more than anything.

“Trying to get some friction”, he said, and there was a strain to his voice. As if seeing his cock sitting prettily next to your face was almost enough to push him over the edge.

“That won’t do”, you reprimanded him. “You just need to ask nicely.”

It was said teasingly, but it only seemed to frustrate him more.

“Aish”, he cursed. “I’m really close to not letting you suck me at all.”

You narrowed your eyes, throwing daggers at him. “So you don’t like when I tease, mmh?”

You leaned forward, tongue pressing on his frenulum as you kept jerking him off slowly, up and down.

“I told you I like to be in control”, he said, and he threw his head back as you sucked on his head, rolling circles on the sensitive spot your tongue had already found.

You bobbed your head forward once, hollowing your cheeks, before releasing his dick in a satisfying pop. “If you ask nicely, I’ll let you fuck my mouth.”

“Let me fuck your mouth”, he commanded.

You took his cock in your mouth again, pushing all the way in until he hit the back of your throat, using your hand to jerk the part that couldn’t get in your mouth from the angle. Your eyes shut as he pushed forward, and you held in the gag reflex.

“Is it so hard to say please?” you asked as you pulled away.

You licked a long stripe from the base of his dick up to his head, before rolling your tongue around him as your eyes met his.

“Please let me fuck your mouth.”

“Soon”, you teased, before moving your lips down his dick, until they reached his balls.

You sucked one in, hand jerking him faster as you held the darkness in his eyes. He grunted, one of his hands moving to tangle in your hair.

“Fuck.”

His little curse word made your pussy ache, and you let go of his ball. “Now you can fuck my mouth”, you said, spitting on the head of his dick to use your drool to lubricate it.

“Suck me a little longer”, he asked. When you remained unmoving, save from your hand on him, he added, “Please.”

“Such a good boy”, you praised him, before giving in to his request, taking him in your mouth again.

You really started working then, bobbing your head as you sucked on him, using your tongue to follow the vein in his dick and play with his frenulum. It had his dick harden in your mouth, as he let out a string of filthy curses, along with praises for you. It took you by surprise, to hear him praise you like he did, but only encouraged you further, until you were gagging on his dick as your throat tried to swallow him.

“Fuck, Y/n”, he grunted. “You’re being so good.”

“All for you”, you murmured as you pulled away, just to catch a little breath, before diving in again. Your left hand moved up until it grabbed his balls, and you started massaging him at the same time.

His eyes had fallen shut, but when he met your gaze again, you knew your teasing was over.

“I’m going to fuck your mouth now, yeah?” he said.

You pulled away to nod your head, before opening your mouth wide for him. He grabbed your cheeks, touch ever so gentle even with the act he was doing, before sliding in. All the way until he hit the back of your throat and you gagged around him.

“You’re so pretty with my cock in your dirty mouth”, he praised. He pulled almost all the way out before pushing forward again. “So fucking pretty.”

You rested your hands on his thighs again, feeling his muscles underneath your fingers, as he started moving a little faster, establishing a gentle rhythm for you. It was unexpected, as you’d thought he’d fuck your mouth hard right away.

Maybe Jeon Jungkook had a world of galaxies in his eyes, but he held a lot more softness than one could think.

“If I hurt you, just tap on the side of my leg”, he told you. “That okay?”

He pulled out for you to speak. “Yeah”, you breathed, before taking him in your mouth again.

Or maybe he had just been saving the best for last. Because the rhythm he established now was unforgiving. He grabbed your hair into a ponytail, keeping you from pulling away, and fucked your mouth like it was the last day on Earth. Each time, the head of his dick hit the back of your throat, making you gag a little until your eyes were filled with tears, and drool was rolling down your chin.

Jeon Jungkook wasn’t the kind of man that was embarrassed to moan. Because he moaned, as he fucked your mouth, pretty low sounds reaching your ears like a song as he blurred behind the tears in your eyes.

You gagged as he hit the back of your mouth once more, and his eyes fell to you. He slowed down, wiping the tears on your cheeks until he had cleared up in front of you.

“Am I hurting you?”

You shook your head a little, pressing your tongue flat against his dick as he pulled out. He pushed back in, slowly once more, and your hand went back to his balls. He hissed as you started massaging them again. From the way your fingers were placed, your index could reach farther, and you pushed on his perineum, before starting to rub circles on it.

He stilled in your mouth, letting out a loud curse word. “You’re going to make me come if you do that.”

He pulled your hair until his dick was out of your mouth and you immediately reached forward to jerk him off again.

“Maybe that’s the goal”, you said with a scrapy voice.

He wet his lips, biting at the bottom one. “You want me to come in your throat?”

“Unless you prefer coming somewhere else”, you said as you picked up the pace, tilting your head back.

He cocked his head to the side, letting out a moan as you used your thumb to play with his frenulum again. “I’d rather you swallow every drop of my juice.”

You smirked then, before licking his head clean of the new precum on the slit. “Then fuck my mouth until you come, Jeon Jungkook.”

You said his full name, intimately. If you were in his head, you’d know it was driving him crazy, and that he wanted more. More of you, and it scared him shitless. Had been scaring him shitless since he had first seen you in this tattoo shop a few weeks ago.

It made him start fucking your mouth again, to chase the vulnerability away.

You moaned around his cock, as he began hitting the back of your throat once more, and your vision quickly went blurry again. You pressed your tongue flat against him, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked, all the while keeping your ministrations on his balls and perineum. Right when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, with all the drool dripping from your chin, Jungkook let out a loud moan, pushing all the way to the back of your mouth as he came, hot juice sliding right into your throat as he held your head there, even as you gagged.

You swallowed Jungkook’s seed, blinking back tears as he remained in the back of your throat until he was fully empty, before pulling away, He immediately wiped your cheeks of the new tears, before gently running a hand through your hair.

“Are you okay?” he asked, gazing down at you with an emotion you couldn’t quite decipher.

You breathed in raggedly, swallowing down the rest of his seed, before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “You’re unleashed.”

He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. “You told me to fuck your mouth.”

“You didn’t disappoint”, you said as you smirked, licking your lips clean.

He looked around, as if he didn’t know where he was anymore. His eyes zeroed in on your bedroll, and he met your gaze with knitted brows. “Do you sleep here?”

You pushed yourself up until you were standing, flattening your skirt.

“Sometimes, but I rarely do.”

There was concern, in the galaxies in his eyes. “You shouldn’t do that.”

You tried to hold his gaze, but found you were too much of a coward for that. Especially as your pussy was still dripping in your panties, and it was hard to focus on something else.

“Don’t worry about it”, you reassured him. “It’s mostly when I finish a client late and have another one in the morning.”

He nodded, before looking down at himself. He then laughed, before bending down to pull his pants back up. “What am I doing butt-naked talking to you like that?”

You echoed his own laugh with an airy one that had him gaze at you with those big doe eyes of his. Your breath hitched in your throat, and you suddenly felt very shy.

A rare occurrence for you.

“So”, you let out.

He looked around once again, folding his arms on his chest. “So”, he echoed.

You took a step towards him, grabbing the hem of his shirt, before pulling the part that was stuck in his joggers out. He watched you carefully once again, smiling softly when you met his gaze.

“Thank you”, he breathed.

You were ensnared by the gravity in his eyes, damn you, and all you wanted was to push him back until his back hit the wall and dive right back in. You doubted he wanted that too.

“For sucking your dick?”

He chuckled, shaking his head a little. “Among other things, yes.”

You smiled, scanning his features before your eyes fell to the place where your hands still held onto his shirt. You let it go, and made to take a step back. He grabbed your arm before you could move away, and you looked up at him, startled.

“I want to taste you”, he said.

But his eyes weren’t dark with black holes anymore. They were just swirling with galaxies and you found that, more than anything, to be too dangerous for you.

“I told you not tonight”, you reminded him as the corners of your lips tugged upwards.

He fake-glared at you, before letting your arm go. “Alright then, I guess I’ll have to come again?”

It was a question more than a statement, and you tilted your head to the side as you searched for an answer. “What if we meet up elsewhere, next time?”

He was smiling knowingly once he spoke again. “I would like that.”

*****

The weeks after you made your deal with the devil passed in a blur, a blur of waiting to see Jungkook again, and wanting to never see him again. He was frustrating, in more ways than you could ever admit. Because if there was a thing that was true about Jungkook, it was that he was good at after care. More so than you had ever been, as you had always been one to run after the act. But Jungkook made you stay, after he fucked you senseless, and only let you go once the afterglow of your acts had passed.

But you never stayed the night.

You were surprised he managed to find time for you, in his busy schedule. Even more so surprised about just how good he fucked you even when he was tired, as if your pussy energized him.

Maybe it did, the same way sleeping with him made your hands steadier in the following days, even if you had never been one to have shaky hands. Jungkook’s effect on your life showed, in every little aspect.

Aera had known that Jungkook was going to come to your tattoo shop, that time you had made your deal. She had called to warn you, but since you hadn’t picked up, the warning had gone to voicemail, only for you to listen to it once you were tucked in your bedroll, long after Jungkook had left.

Long after you had promised you weren’t going to sleep at the shop.

Aera and Eunwoo had started dating, after the party where she had met him. And apparently, Jungkook had told them about his plans to come visit you, right before he was to go. And after that, you had started hanging out with them more, since Aera wanted to bring Eunwoo everywhere.

You didn’t want to admit it, but you were a little disappointed that Jungkook never tagged along, even if Eunwoo invited him each time. But the deal you had made was strictly business – it didn’t matter that Jungkook had insisted on cooking you a meal before you had left the last time.

Didn’t matter that you caught him staring way too often, when you hung out. Because it hadn’t taken long, for your hang outs to turn into more than just sex. Yes, there was always some sexual activity, but he always found reasons for you to stay longer. Because most of the time you went to his place, not really feeling like inviting him over to your parents’ house. Indeed, you still lived with your parents even if you barely saw them, with your night-oriented schedule.

Jungkook was a friendly person. With a softness to him, once you got over the overall physical attraction. Always ready to smile and laugh, and make fun of you if you did something he found funny. His laugh warmed a place in you that you had thought to be dead, after Soobin. A place none of your friends had been able to reach. And Aera had tried, bless her, but she couldn’t fuck you like Jungkook could.

Mostly, you appreciated your moments with Jungkook. They were little slices of life you had come to cherish, for all their rarity. Because he had indeed stuck to his once-a-week idea, even after you had gone to his studio and he had bent you over to fuck you while making you listen to the songs he was recording.

It felt as if he was taking a step forward, only to take three steps back each time. And you didn’t blame him, because with every moment you spent with him, a little more wariness arose in you. Red flags were common around Jungkook – hell, he only wanted to hang out with you when he was horny. And he barely even texted you, even if he had said he would. Not that you minded, he fucked you well enough for you not to mind the silence he held most of the time.

It wasn’t like you weren’t full of red flags either. Each time he got a little too close, you took a step back, claiming you had to leave or inventing an excuse. You didn’t know if he noticed, and really hoped he didn’t: you didn’t want him to wonder about the reasons you were fleeing.

On the anniversary of Soobin’s death, somewhere at the end of July, you found yourself visiting his grave, like you had done each year since he had left. In all truth, you had gone a lot the first year, until you had realized you needed some distance to heal your heart.

You doubted you had really healed it.

Soobin had been the love of your life. Or so you thought because you had never been able to open up to anyone else after him. Had kept the secret behind the dagger and rose on your ribs, even with Jungkook, because you had never wanted to give that piece of you away.

To give Soobin away. And it was strange, really. You had realized, after the first few months of people talking about him without you even wanting to, that keeping silent made it easier. As if the more you spoke about him, the less he was real. As if he had just been an invention of some dark corner of your heart, and that he had never walked this Earth.

And maybe that, most of all, was the reason why you never mentioned him. Jungkook had asked, once, what the tattoo on your ribs meant. You had climbed on top of him, wrapped a hand around his throat, and fucked yourself on him until his eyes had lost their inquisitive light, until he had grabbed your hips to fuck into you too.

That had been the closest you had come to open up to him. It had been two weeks ago, and he hadn’t mentioned it again after that. And maybe you had closed yourself further, leaving quicker than you usually did. But he hadn’t said anything, not even when you had hung out the next time, fucking in his car in a public parking.

Jungkook really did like doing it in public spaces.

You chased the memory away. Because it was wrong to have Jungkook invade your mind now, as you were walking towards Soobin’s grave.

The familiar black marble of the tombstone appeared and your steps faltered a little as you finished crossing the distance. You stopped in front of the grave, bending down to put the bouquet of white roses next to it.

White roses, because they were the only flowers he had ever bought for you. Because he had said they reminded him of you, with the purity of their petals, and the sweet fragrance they held. That was, until he had tattooed you and started making jokes about the fact your petals had been spoiled. He had written poems about it, too, that you still kept hidden in the bottom drawer of your dresser, at your parents’ place.

You straightened, eyes skimming over the inscription on the tomb. They barely even registered in your mind anymore, as if your brain refused to accept the finality of them. Refused to see the -2019 that was written on there, as if you still couldn’t quite accept that Kim Soobin’s existence had ended in this world. And maybe there was another world out there, another universe in which he existed, but it was hard to accept that he was gone from yours.

You sighed, heavily, before sitting down. You never prayed – praying had been useless, the night you had spent in the hospital hoping he’d make it. You just sat down, and thought about the things you would like to tell him.

You will never guess how many celebrities have started coming to my shop. You’d be so proud.

You smiled, fondly, as you imagined him. Smiling as he’d pick you up and spin you around, telling you you were his proudest achievement. Not because he had been the one to train you – no, he had always told you that it was all you and the gift you had been born with. No, he would have told you that he was proud to be able to call you his muse.

I’ve got people lined up until the end of the year. I wish you could see.

Nostalgia hit you, and you found yourself blinking back tears.

I have some famous friends now too. I think you’d love them.

You winced then, laughing at your own stupidity. Soobin would hate Jungkook. And Jungkook wasn’t even your friend anyway. It was just a dumb business deal.

Soobin had been a kind lover, but he was jealous. Never liked when you hung out with guys. Though he had never stopped you, had encouraged you to maintain your friendships. You had lost most of them after he had died, and maybe that, most of all, was the reason you wanted to tell him about Eunwoo, Jaehyun, and the rest of them. They were your friends because of Aera, that was true, but you still hung out a lot more than you had thought you would.

Never with Jungkook, of course. And always with Minchae, because she and Jaehyun had started seeing each other too.

So, you told Soobin about your hang outs. About the private club you went to regularly, and the private cafés the boys had access to as celebrities. You tried not to let your thoughts diverge to Jungkook too much because it felt unfair for Soobin. Gravity is hard to escape though, and you found you couldn’t really tell Soobin about your life without mentioning Jungkook too.

Because, whether you liked it or not, Jungkook currently was part of your day-to-day life.

You wondered what Soobin would tell you, if he could hear you. Would he be happy for you, to see that you were finally moving on? Because that was it – hanging out with Jungkook made you feel like you were slowly moving on, finally letting go of a love you had never thought you’d lose.

In truth, you doubted you’d ever stop loving Soobin. But you had the right to live your life, didn’t you? You knew Soobin would have wanted that for you. For all the poetry in his heart, he had always been down to Earth too.

You stayed there for a long time, talking to Soobin. Reminiscing about moments you had spent together… realizing that time was obscuring the memories in your mind. As if they had happened so long ago your brain had chosen to put them away, to make place for new memories.

It was strange, how something that had once mattered so much could disappear like that. As you sat there, you realized you couldn’t quite remember his laugh. You had videos, in which you could still hear it, but you couldn’t imagine it without them.

Soobin was leaving your memories too, now.

You let yourself cry a little, at the realization. And you never really cried, unless it was about him. So, you let the pain go, tasting the saltiness of your tears on your lips as you did so. Your phone buzzing in your purse snapped you back to reality, and you dried the tears with the back of your hand.

It was Jungkook, texting you to ask if you wanted to hang out again tonight, as he wouldn’t be available next week. It chased the sadness away, as it was replaced with confusion. You had seen Jungkook two days ago.

But now was not the time to think about hanging out with Jungkook. So, you put your phone back in your purse, focusing on the tombstone again. Only then realizing that your tears were gone, and that they had relieved you of some heaviness.

You refused to admit Jungkook had played his part in it.

You stayed a little longer, until some droplets of rain started falling from the sky. Even if they were rare, you knew better than to stay and wait until they turned into a full-on rainstorm. God knew how rainy Seoul could get, and how much you hated the rain.

You said goodbye to Soobin, telling him you loved him and that you couldn’t wait to have more things to tell him, next year. And with a heart filled with nostalgia, you walked away, glancing at the tombstone once before it was out of sight.

A new lump formed in your throat, and you swallowed it down as you turned back around and left. Heading to the tattoo shop, because you knew what tattoo you wanted to get now. Had known it for a few weeks.

Had known it since after the first time you had had sex with Jungkook. It was a strange thing, that you had decided to tattoo it on yourself after visiting Soobin, but you had made the decision a week ago, as you had seen the date approaching. Soobin had been a tattoo artist after all, and your art was his legacy.

When you got to your shop, rain had started falling heavier outside. You felt like cursing at it, for being present on the day of Soobin’s anniversary of death, and maybe you actually did. Just a little, looking up at the dark clouds and cursing at them for existing. For being the reason why Soobin had had to take the side road in the first place.

Life sometimes was unfair. Death was too, in a much more unforgiving way.

You had already prepared everything you needed to tattoo yourself the day before, and you sat in your usual client chair, eyes skimming over everything. You had chosen to tattoo it on the inside of the upper part of your arm, right next to a mole that you had always had. You looked at the spot, committing its emptiness to memory before grabbing the alcohol swab.

You cleaned your skin, slowly, eyes losing their focus as you were reminded of when Soobin had been cleaning your ribs.

It had been a few weeks after you had started training with him.

You pushed the thoughts away. You didn’t like living in the past, even if your heart had been lost somewhere then.

You threw the alcohol swab away, before glancing at the stencil. You were positioning it on your arm after having moisten the skin with soap when the bells of the door rang.

You had forgotten to lock the door.

“Why don’t you reply to your texts?” Jungkook asked as he walked in, two coffees in hands.

You were struck, seeing him there, on this day that belonged to another.

In all truth, you had forgotten that he had texted you, when you were with Soobin. And something in the way he was looking at you right now, with concern etched on his pretty features… it opened up the wound in a way you hadn’t expected.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, voice a little rough by the lump that was forming in your throat.

Jungkook stopped, halfway to where you were sitting. “I…” he trailed off, looking at you. Looking at the stencil you were holding on your arm, and then at your eyes.

You knew your gaze was wet, by the way the concern took over the galaxies in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked. Voice sweeter than it usually was, like he was afraid he’d hurt you more if he spoke normally.

“I’m busy”, you replied. You looked away from him, unable to let him gaze at your vulnerability any longer. “Why did you come here?”

He remained silent for a long time, as if he knew there was a meaning behind your words. A secret you weren’t willing to tell him.

“You usually reply fast, so I got worried”, he finally replied, and his voice was low. Sheepish, even. “I was in the neighborhood, so I thought why not visit you.” He fell silent, before scraping his throat. “I brought your favorite coffee.”

The fact Jungkook remembered the way you liked your coffee… it made you look at him again. Made you want to give your vulnerability to him, so you wouldn’t have to bear the weight alone anymore.

“You can put it down on the table”, you said, vaguely motioning to it with your head.

He obeyed, burying his fist in his pocket as soon as the cup wasn’t in his hand anymore. He looked at you again, then, and there was a wariness in the way he was standing.

It wasn’t an emotion you had seen him sporting before, and you hated that he was looking at you like that, now.

“Are you okay?” he repeated.

You tossed his question away. You couldn’t give that vulnerability to him, you couldn’t open up to him. You wouldn’t, not when it’d make the loss all the realer.

“I was going to tattoo myself”, you said, choosing to ignore his question. “Do you want to help?”

He was confused. You could tell it by the line between his brows, and the way he was playing with his piercing. Not like he did when he was horny. No, the gesture was a nervous one, a little like the way you pulled on the dry skin of your lips whenever you got anxious. Which wasn’t often, but it still happened.

You were human after all.

“I’ve never tattooed anyone before”, he said, carefully, letting his words hang in the space between you. His tone had been a little higher at the end, like it was a question, and he furrowed his eyebrows further.

You shrugged. “Just sit next to me, I’ll tell you what to do.”

He didn’t move for a time. You watched the debate on his features as he was choosing what to do. You could tell he was uncomfortable, wanting to flee the darkness you held in you.

You didn’t blame him. Whenever his eyes took on an expression of vulnerability, you too wanted to run away.

“It’s a good thing I’ve always wanted to learn”, he finally said, before putting his own coffee down. He made his way towards you, as your eyes fell on a vague spot on your thighs.

Maybe that, that was Soobin’s legacy. You teaching someone else, the way he had taught you in the first place.

Every step Jungkook took towards you seemed to lighten his mood, as if the perspective of learning something new was stronger than your dim mood. And maybe, maybe it made you feel a little better, to watch his eyes take on a curious glint.

He grabbed a stool, rolling it closer to where you were sitting, before sitting down. His gaze fell to your arm, to the stencil you were still holding in place.

“What are you going to get tattooed?” he asked, and his eyes trailed back to your face.

You pulled the stencil away, showing him your arm. He grabbed it, with his gentle fingers, until your arm was turned in a way that let him see the outline. He smiled then, as if he knew.

That smile did things to the pain in your heart. Took it, and caged it far away from you.

“Saturn?” he said, head tilting to the side in his curiosity.

You pursed your lips. “I’ve always liked space.”

You thought about Soobin then. About what he would think of the boy with galaxies in his eyes. About what he would think of your reason. Because you needed a reason, always, to get tattooed. The way Jungkook made you feel… it was reason enough, no matter how futile and idyllic his time in your life was.

“It’s pretty”, he said, smiling appreciatively.

It really was. You had taken a while to design it, until you had chosen the simplest form of it. A small planet, with rings around it, along with three small stars.

“Thank you”, you breathed.

Soobin would have liked the tattoo. You were sure of it. Would have hated the reason, but you deserved your reasons. You deserved to be moving on, even if he was still the owner of your heart.

It took you a moment, of teaching Jungkook, to realize why he had accepted the offer in the first place. You could tell, with the cautious looks he threw your way, that he was trying to change your mind. No matter that he didn’t know what from…

Jeon Jungkook was a kind human being, behind all of the red flags. Someone that had his heart on his sleeve. Or maybe that had it there before someone had ripped it from him.

“Keep going”, you encouraged him, and he glanced up at you.

He was close and his galaxies pulled you in. You found yourself exploring all the worlds they held, swimming in their outer space.

Jeon Jungkook was your first escape from Soobin. A new lump formed in your throat at the thought, and Jungkook straightened.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” he asked.

It wasn’t just about the tattoo. You knew he meant more. You knew he was wondering if he was the cause behind your sadness, and it almost made you want to open up. To reveal your secrets. But it felt wrong, too wrong.

“You are not”, you reassured him. “You actually have to put a little more pressure.”

He wet his lips. “I’m afraid I’ll mess the tattoo up.”

You held his gaze for a time, before looking down at the tiny line he had already drawn. “Do you want me to finish it?”

He nodded, handing you the device. Though he stayed close, arms resting on the side of the chair. Until you put your arm on top of his, so you had better access to your inner arm. He didn’t seem to mind, and the warmth of him against you anchored you in the present. Kept you from walking down memory lane again.

You worked in silence, as Jungkook watched you carefully. His proximity made it hard for you to focus, even though you didn’t want him right now. Not like you usually wanted him. You rather just wanted his company, even if you had first chosen to ignore him, when he had texted you.

He really was becoming far too important in your life.

“Doesn’t it hurt when you tattoo yourself?” he whispered, as his eyes kept fixed on the spot where the needle was poking at your skin.

“Nah.” The buzzing of the pen filled the silence, until you spoke again. “It hurts less than when someone else does it. Since you expect it more.”

He nodded a little, and you fell back into a comfortable silence. You didn’t exchange another word until you were done, then explaining to Jungkook what needed to be done with a new tattoo. Which was useless, since he already knew all of that. Yet, he let you speak, as if sensing you needed to fill the silence between you with something.

Anything other than the truth.

When you finally finished speaking, your mind coming up short with words to say, Jungkook grabbed your legs, making you turn until you were sitting in the chair, with your legs on his thighs.

“I’ll wrap the tattoo for you”, he said, gently. His hands ran up and down your thighs once, in a reassuring gesture, before he grabbed what he needed for it.

You watched as he worked, with those gentle hands of his, the ones you still couldn’t quite believe were his. They did get rougher sometimes, usually when he was balls deep inside of you. But most of the time he was gentle, as if he had all the time in the world to touch you.

And maybe he did.

When he was done wrapping the tattoo, his big hands fell back on your thighs, before settling on your hips. He met your gaze then, and he held it. Held it with his galaxies and stars, held it with the gravity that always pulled you in.

You were so far in that you could glimpse at his own vulnerability. At his worlds, and at the ones that had broken him. The universe in his eyes was so vast that you imagined seeing yourself there, seeing Soobin there. As if Soobin had been the one to send Jungkook to you after all, that drunken night of his, weeks ago.

“What’s been haunting your mind?” Jungkook asked.

You took a deep breath, right hand moving up in the space between you, until you had brushed a strand of his hair from his eyes.

“No feelings, remember?”

He played with his piercing for a time. “We also said once a week, and I’m here right now.”

He was. He was here when you had needed him – or needed anyone, really. Maybe it could mean something. You just didn’t want it to.

You brushed his cheek then, where he had his little scar. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

His Adam apple bobbed as he swallowed, before nodding. “Alright.” He paused, looking between your two eyes. “But if you ever feel the need to speak to someone, know that I’m here.”

It almost hurt you, the way he said it. As if he had forgotten your deal was but a business deal, and there was no true friendship between you. Just temporary pleasure, as you tried to fuck the other out of your system.

It hadn’t worked yet.

“Thank you.”

There was tension between you then. A different kind of tension. Not one that took its root in physical attraction. Maybe it was because of the soft galaxies in his eyes, or because he was here. He was here with you.

“Do you want me to go?” he asked after a time, once the silence had stretched into its own little eternity of just you gazing at his eyes.

You shook your head, surprising even you. “No.”

You didn’t say more, didn’t say the little word that had threatened to fall from your lips.

Stay.

“Do you want your coffee?”

“Yes.”

You both didn’t move. The silence was too comfortable, and so were his eyes. Eyes that had scared you, at the beginning, with their depths. Weeks later, you had gotten to explore them, more than you had ever thought you would.

There was nothing scary about Jeon Jungkook.

“It’s my birthday, soon”, you said, out of the blue.

His tongue played with his piercing a little. “I’m going to be gone.” He sounded so disappointed, and it made your heart squeeze in your chest.

“I know”, you said. Your eyes fell from his, as his hands moved a little up, until his thumbs were rubbing soothing circles on your waist.

“Do you like camping?” he asked.

You furrowed your brows. “What?”

He repeated the question, cocking an eyebrow.

“I’ve never gone.”

It was true, your parents had never been one to want to leave the city. Perhaps their job had just kept them too busy, when you were younger, for them to consider taking you on a camping trip. And you had never really had friends that wanted to go before, even if some part of you had always wanted to.

“I’m going on a trip on the weekend of your birthday”, he said. “For three days, along with the boys.”

“Which ones?” you asked.

“Jaehyun, Eunwoo”, he said. “Jimin said he’d come too.”

You remained silent, not really knowing what to say.

“They’ve invited Aera and Minchae too.”

Aera hadn’t told you. It made your heart ache, at the thought that that was the reason why she had said she couldn’t hang out on the day of your birthday. Not that you had been one to celebrate a lot, but you had usually hung out with her.

“Do…” he said, trailing off as his eyes fell to a spot between your breasts, that was at a level with his gaze. “Do you want to come?”

You gulped, then. Swallowed down a new lump.

“You want me to come?”

He nodded, meeting your gaze once more.

“I…”

You were about to say no. To say you couldn’t go, but really… What was stopping you? The fact that you and Jungkook weren’t really friends? The fact that the more time you spent with him the deeper you fell into his galaxies?

It wasn’t like their worlds scared you anymore.

“I would like that”, you agreed.

He smiled, with that smile that could light up the whole world.

Thank you, Soobin, for sending him to me.

*****

You had been laughing for a while now. Ever since Jungkook had come to pick you up, with his little bucket hat and wide doe eyes. Ever since he had put on his favourite songs, and he danced to them, trying to pull you into the choreography. Trying to convince you to dance to ‘That That’, shooting finger guns at you as you giggled in the passenger seat, telling him to focus on the road.

Jeon Jungkook was different today. Carefree, as if he wasn’t lost in his depths anymore. As if his vulnerability didn’t matter anymore. As if you were young and reckless, with no responsibilities, other than that of enjoying life.

And maybe that was all there was to do, in the few days you were going to be out of the city. That, and celebrate your birthday, with the people that had started mattering more to you than you had thought they ever would.

Business deal included.

After the anniversary of Soobin’s death and Jungkook’s invitation, something had changed between you two. He had texted you every day, called you every day, claiming you needed to plan everything for the trip. A strange thing, because there wasn’t much to plan.

It had led to some of the best phone sex in your entire life, though. Jungkook guiding you, with that beautiful voice of his…

It had been good phone sex indeed.

“Are you hungry?” Jungkook asked after a small moment of silence, between the two songs playing on the car speakers.

You pouted, shrugging your shoulders. “Not particularly. But I know you always are.”

He smiled devilishly. “Especially for you.”

You burst out laughing, punching him in the shoulder. “You are disgusting.”

He offered you a small pout, with his wide doe eyes set in an innocent and childlike expression. It made you roll your eyes, and his giggle filled the air around you.

Lighting an atmosphere that was already light.

“I’m going to stop soon to get some food, do you want me to get anything for you?”

You said no, because really you weren’t hungry at all. Yet when Jungkook sat back in the car, he handed you some sotteok. You looked at him, before taking the food, cocking an eyebrow.

“I know you said you weren’t hungry but…” he trailed off, as he watched you take a bite.

The smile he offered you then made you forget who you were for a time.

“Thank you”, you said when you swallowed your bite.

It filled you with warmth, how Jungkook was caring, suddenly. As if seeing the darkness in your eyes, a few days ago, had changed something between you two. Maybe it had, though you weren’t fool enough to let it get to your head.

It was just a business deal, and he had only invited you because your friends were going.

But when he had said he’d be the one driving you… it was hard not to believe that it meant something. Especially as he seemed so… happy to be there with you. With his bright smile that made your heart stutter in your chest.

“You should eat all that before we get on the road again”, you told him, looking around the half-full parking lot before your eyes settled on him again.

He shrugged, mouth full of a bite that had his cheeks puffing. “Was already the plan”, he said once he swallowed, before immediately digging in for another bite.

It made you laugh, and he narrowed his eyes at you, though he couldn’t speak for a time.

“What?” he let out.

“I want to drive your car.”

He cocked an eyebrow, shaking his head no slowly. “I don’t let anyone drive my car.”

You attempted to make puppy eyes, though you ended up bursting out laughing along with him. The sound of your laughter filled the car, until it subsided as he took another bite. “It’s my birthday”, you said, pouting. “Please?”

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “What do I get in exchange?”

You looked up, pursing your lips as your index finger tapped your chin. Until an idea slid in your mind, and your face fell into a sultry expression as you turned to look at him. He gulped, then, as if he too sensed the switch in you.

“We find a parking a little less crowded than here and I let you fuck me?”

His eyes widened, at your crude words, before he nodded. “Yes, alright. Yes. A good plan.”

It made you giggle, to see how eager he was, and the sultriness dissolved into happiness.

Something that happened more and more as you spent time with Jungkook like that, outside of the usual confines of your deal.

And really, with the perspective of sex on the line, Jungkook engulfed the food he had bought, before turning the key in the ignition. The engine of his car purred to life, and soon enough he had pulled on the street again.

His hand settled on your thigh then, and you gulped as he brushed a finger on your skin, right where your skirt ended.

“I like when you wear skirts”, he commented, as his eyes stayed fixed on the street ahead. “Makes the access easier.”

And just like that, his hand slid up, fingers brushing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. Your breath hitched in your throat, right as you instinctively spread your thighs a little more, to give him a better access.

“You’re always so ready for me”, he whispered, and your gaze slid to his profile. To the piercing he was playing with, and the ghost of a smirk on his lips.

“So are you, Jeon Jungkook”, you breathed, and you let one of your hands move to his upper thigh, fingers grazing his dick through his joggers.

He wasn’t hard at all yet, but the slight touch of your digits there had his fist tighten on the wheel, even as his touch on your thigh stayed gentle, soft, like it always was with him.

It was one of the things you liked the most, about Jeon Jungkook. For all the darkness that sometimes invaded his gaze, his softness never left. It softened the edges of him, in a way that felt just right.

For you, that is.

“Can’t wait to feel your pretty little pussy”, he said, right as his knuckles brushed you through your panties.

You bit your lip to keep in the embarrassing moan it had raised in you. He smirked then, because he knew. Knew that your body responded to his with just a touch, with just the right words.

And he always had the right touches and words, when it came to you.

“What about here?” he said, as he slowed down the car.

There was a dirt road that disappeared in the forest, after a bend. You looked at Jungkook, eyes a little wide with anticipation, even if you weren’t full on horny yet.

He’d get you there in no time anyway.

“Seems good to me”, you said, nodding your head as you wet your lips.

He gazed down at them, as the car came to a full stop, and he seemed conflicted for a time. Until you squeezed his muscular thigh, and your knuckles grazed his dick again. Whatever conflict that had raised in his eyes dwindled away, and he turned into the dirt road, all the way to the bend in the road.

He followed it, car driving slowly, before parking on the side.

Anybody could drive past, you were aware of that, but the stars in Jungkook’s eyes shone with lust as he looked at you, taking off his keys from the ignition. They burned with desire, and it rendered all caution useless.

You’d almost let him fuck you in the middle of a crowded room, when he looked at you like that.

“Backseat?” he asked.

You shook your head no, as you turned towards him. “I want to ride you.”

He clenched his jaw, head tilting to the side. He seemed to debate for a time, and his hand left your thigh when he made his decision. “Anything for the birthday girl.”

It did something to you, to have him give in to you like that, and heat pooled in your lower stomach, until it trickled down to the place between your legs. You watched as he unbuckled his seat belt and adjusted the car seat so you could climb on top of him, and your eyes moved down to his dick as he palmed himself through the joggers.

“Come here”, he then said, as you too unbuckled your seat belt. He grabbed your hand, with that gentle touch of his, before pulling you on his lap. It was hard to straddle him on the car seat, and your hands landed on his shoulders, with a short distance separating your two mouths.

You almost went in for a kiss, as if by instinct, before reminding you of the rule. Just because you were breaking some of the rules didn’t mean you had to break them all, so you moved to his neck instead, sucking at the spot you knew made him squirm.

His hands landed on your ass, and he massaged it through the fabric of your skirt, until he decided better and moved under the fabric. His warm skin met yours in a slap and you let out a breathy sound, the slap leaving a stinging sensation on your ass.

You grinded into him then, as your arousal started soaking your panties. His large hands guided your movements, and he tilted his head to the side to give you better access. He sighed loudly when you bit into his neck, in that way that turned into a small moan.

“Don’t leave love bites”, he said, chuckling deeply.

You smirked against his skin, kissing the spot you had just bit. “We’re going away for three days, plenty of time for it to heal.”

He hissed as you sucked on the skin then, before slapping your ass again. “You’re not being a very good girl, mmh?”

“Mmh.” It was your turn to chuckle, and your tongue darted between your lips to taste his skin. “It’s my birthday, it’s my turn to be in control.”

You moved up from his neck, kissing his jaw, before pulling away. Grinding into him as his head turned back so he could look at you. His galaxies had gone dark again, the good kind of dark that promised pleasure and passion.

“Your birthday is tomorrow.”

You shrugged, rolling your hips slowly as he guided your movements again. He was getting hard, enough for you to know it’d take no time until you could sink on him. Especially as the black holes in his eyes made your pussy clench around nothing.

You were already so ready for him.

“Gotta start somewhere”, you said, tilting your head to the side innocently as you wet your lips. “It’s not going to be easy to fuck when our friends are right next to us.”

The devilish smirk on his lips made you want to lean in and suck on his piercing, but you resisted. “We can always find a spot in the woods.”

You shook your head, slowly, before going back to his neck, pressing wet kisses on his skin. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

You didn’t know why Jungkook liked doing it in public so much. Putting his reputation on the line like that… you wouldn’t do it, if you were him. But you weren’t, and all you wanted was to make him feel good. Make him feel good until his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he released inside of you.

“Then fuck me like it’s your last day on Earth”, he said, voice low and husky.

You whined as he thrusted up, his hard dick pressing against your clit. It felt good even through the fabric, but nothing compared to the feeling of his skin against yours.

“Let’s get you out of your pants, then.”

He nodded, and though it proved to be awkward, you managed to stand up just enough for him to slide his pants down to the middle of his thighs, along with his underwear. You took a moment to observe his pretty cock, already leaking with precum, as he spat in his hand before wrapping it around his shaft, pumping up and down twice before letting it go.

“Spit on it”, he told you.

You cocked an eyebrow, meeting his gaze again. “And how am I supposed to do it in this position?”

He brought his hand to your mouth, thumb caressing your bottom lip before he held his palm up. Your gaze stayed glued to his as you spat in his hand, and he used it to lubricate the head of his cock. One of your hands moved between your legs, until you could push your panties to the side, enough to give him access to your entrance.

You lowered yourself on him, until his cock reached your clit. You stopped, circling your hips instead as he shut his eyes, smirk still on his lips.

You’d go crazy if you looked at his lips for longer. So you sank down on him, his dick sliding right in, though it burned as he stretched your walls.

You winced, and he let go of his dick so he could grab your waist, holding you up a little. “Do you want me to finger you first?” he asked.

You met the galaxies in his eyes then, and their gravity pulled you in again. So much so you found yourself resting your forehead against his, eyes half shut, as you started circling your hips again.

“No, your dick can stretch me enough.”

He nodded, eyes shutting from the proximity. As if looking at you any longer would make him go crazy. And maybe, maybe he really did feel like you were feeling in the moment, because he didn’t urge you to go faster. He instead let you establish a slow rhythm, a dance that had his dick reaching deep inside of you.

You let go of your panties then, and put your hands on his shoulders again, to give yourself leverage for what was to come. Because you were fully ready to start moving up and down, fucking yourself on him.

Until he spoke, and made your heart stop in your chest.

“Keep going like that”, he breathed, and his lips were almost close enough for you to feel them move.

You gulped, hands moving from his shoulders to his cheeks. “You feel so good, stretching me like that.”

He smirked, his own hands gripping your ass again. “Such a pretty girl.”

His praise made your eyes shut all the way, and you moved up, ever so slowly, before sinking even deeper than before. You heard his breath hitch, and you did it again, until his hands tightened on your ass.

“Don’t fuck me like that”, he breathed, and there was a vulnerability behind his words. One that was slowly rising in your heart too, and that you didn’t want to feel.

You hated the feelings Jeon Jungkook sometimes raised in you. So, you started moving quicker, rougher, until he was fucking up into you too. Until his fingers on your ass moved to your hips, so he could guide you again, digits digging in the tender skin.

You moaned as he fucked into you harder, yet you couldn’t move your forehead away from his. Wanted to feel his moans on your lips.

Your pussy clenched and Jungkook hissed, before thrusting up harder. It hurt a little, in that way that made you see stars – not the ones in his eyes, of course – and you threw your head back, hands moving back to his shoulders.

Your nails dug in through the fabric of his oversized shirt as one of his fingers met your clit, rolling circles on the sensitive bud. He kept going like that, until your orgasm started building inside of you, and you begged him to go faster.

He was a sucker when you begged for him, so he gave in, fucking into you faster, moving his finger faster, harder, until your vision blurred with light, and your pussy clenched against him.

He moaned, thrusting up, and you came around his dick, obscene sounds filling his car as you squirted, letting out a loud moan. He fucked into you as your walls pulsed against his dick, and soon enough he hit his high too, with a string of curses and praises for you. He emptied his load deep inside of you, hands keeping you from moving up, and you opened your eyes, to watch the effects of his orgasm on his pretty features. To watch the way his teeth bit at his bottom lip, eyebrows furrowed so much they were almost touching.

You weren’t usually ones for quickies like that. Jungkook usually liked to take his time with you, not letting himself come until he had pulled at least two orgasms out of you. It surprised you, to feel his juice inside of you already, and when he opened his eyes, your pussy clenched against him once more.

He looked spent, as if the small orgasm he had just hit was one of the best in his life.

“I love fucking your tight little pussy”, he said, and his features softened a little, until his brows had relaxed on his face. Until his teeth had let go of his bottom lip, and you found yourself glancing at the redness they had left behind.

“That was a quick one”, you said, and you brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. Your hand lingered on his cheek for a second too long, and you quickly put it away, as you tried to climb out of his lap.

“We still have to get to the camping”, he pointed out. And then he chuckled, as his dick pulled out of you and fell on his lap. “And now you’ve just made a mess of my shirt.”

You had indeed, the mix of your juice with his come leaving a trail on his shirt.

“Probably made a mess of my skirt too”, you said, shrugging. “And don’t get me started on my panties.”

He laughed, boyishly, before looking at you as you sat back in the passenger seat. “I’ll grab something for you to change into.”

He started by grabbing the box of tissue, so he could clean himself. He handed a few to you, and you cleaned yourself as he got out of the car to grab your duffel bag in the booth. While he was there, he also switched shirts for a clean one, and you watched him in the rear-view mirror as he got changed.

Jeon Jungkook had one of the most beautiful bodies you had seen in your life. Of all the boys you had fucked, that is. But then again, he was better than most of them on all aspects, so it really was useless to compare him.

No one could compare to Jeon Jungkook.

Your heart squeezed in your chest then, as the ecstasy of the orgasm finally left you. Left you to be replaced with the image of Soobin, and you found yourself missing him.

Found yourself wishing you didn’t have such treacherous thoughts about Jungkook. It almost felt like you were cheating. It was worse than a cold shower, washing away the warmth and ecstasy until you found yourself freezing, almost shivering even in the heat that had taken over the car.

Jungkook didn’t mention it, when he sat back next to you, handing you a clean pair of jeans. He noticed though. Those big doe eyes of his noticed everything, with their galaxies, and it made you turn away from him. You switched your skirt for the pants, as Jungkook drove back to the main street, sending you cautious glances once in a while.

You pushed your discomfort to the side as he stopped at a gas station, eyes finally meeting his.

“Is everything okay?” he asked as soon as your gazes locked.

You looked around, before gazing into his eyes again. “Why are you stopping here?” you asked, avoiding his question.

He didn’t like it. You could tell by the harsh set in his jaw, but it was gone in an instant. “I thought you might want to pee, to make sure you don’t get an infection.”

Sweet. Always so sweet. It pushed your wariness away, melting it into a soft warmth that spread through your chest. And you wanted to tell him how he made you feel then. Wanted to thank him for being so caring, but you couldn’t find the words. So, you just nodded, telling him you’d be right back.

When you came back, Jungkook had switched to the passenger seat, and you just watched him confused for a time, until you remembered you had first asked to drive. You hesitantly opened the door on the driver’s side, before sitting down, throwing Jungkook a sheepish look.

“Are you sure you don’t mind if I drive?” you asked.

He shrugged, meeting your eyes with his galaxies. “Not if you tell me what’s wrong.”

You froze, hand halfway to the wheel. The galaxies seemed to have stopped swirling in his eyes, as if they too awaited an explanation. As if his worlds couldn’t orbit their stars without you explaining, and it was so sweet and caring it had your heart stop in your chest.

“Everything is okay.” You nodded, offering him a reassuring smile. “Everything is okay now.”

He didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t push, instead letting his face fall into a smile of his own. “Okay. Good.” He nodded too, before looking away. “Then, you can drive.”

You chuckled, before turning the key in the ignition. “You know I would have driven anyway.”

*****

“That’s not how you make a tent”, Jungkook said, for the eleventh time.

You laughed, looking at the mess in front of you. “No shit.”

He chuckled, as he glanced over his shoulder at Aera, who was walking towards you. “We don’t need help”, he said before the girl had even reached your side.

He had insisted on setting up your tent with you. Had said it’d be quicker that way – because he had brought two tents. One for each of you, that he wanted to put next to each other. You weren’t quite sure why – maybe he just didn’t want to appear like more than friends. Though his friends knew about your deal. Because you had told Aera, and Aera had told Minchae, and Eunwoo had also talked about it.

Yet, it reassured you, somehow. Because Soobin hadn’t completely left your thoughts, and you indeed needed some space. You were relieved Jungkook wanted to give it to you, without questions.

Even more so relieved, as it had led to you laughing so hard you had almost pissed yourself twice.

“You’re so competitive you can’t even admit when you need help, Jungkook”, Aera said as she stopped next to you, looking at the poles you had in your hands.

Jungkook glared at her, before meeting your gaze. “I don’t like your friend.”

You laughed again. “We’ll manage babe, thanks.”

Aera chuckled, shaking her head. “Where did you guys stop on the way? I thought you were right behind us.”

Your laugh died in your mouth, as you met Jungkook’s widened gaze.

“We just got food”, he said, shrugging, and the surprise that had first lit up his features melted into a smirk. “Some good food at that.”

You blushed – what the hell? – before letting out another small laugh. “Good food indeed.”

Aera looked between you two, a disgusted look taking over her pretty features. “Ew.”

You glared at her. “What do you mean, ew?”

“Just say you fucked. I fucked Eunwoo before leaving.”

Jungkook shook his head as he chuckled. “As much as I’m happy Eunwoo is getting some, you didn’t need to tell us that.”

Aera shrugged her shoulders before turning around to walk away. “Not my problem.”

You watched your friend leave, before resuming your attention on Jungkook. There was a slight blush on his cheeks, when you looked at him, and it made you look away. Made your gaze drop to the mess of a tent on the ground.

“Well”, Jungkook said, before scraping his throat. “Where were we?”

You snorted, holding up the poles in your hands. “I think we have to slide this in the loops there.”

You motioned to said loops, and Jungkook tilted his head to the side, before nodding.

“That seems like a good plan.”

You got to work, and soon enough you were a laughing mess again. Because you couldn’t get the poles in, or maybe you made it a little harder for Jungkook. Just to tease him, and it took him a moment to understand. But when he did, he stopped trying to get the pole in, turning to glare at you.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

“Nothing.” It was said innocently, yet Jungkook’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Give me that.”

“No.”

“Y/n, give the poles to me.”

He had his hand held out, and you shook your head.

“Or what?”

He smirked, before taking a step closer. He leaned down, until he could speak directly into your ear. “Or you won’t get any birthday sex.”

He kissed your neck then, just over the neckline of your shirt, and your breath caught in your throat. His hands moved on your arms, sliding down, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind…

He snatched the poles from your hands, letting out a victorious cheer before turning away from you. You tried to get them back, wrapping your arms around his waist, but he held the poles away.

“Give them back”, you begged.

Jungkook stepped away from you, before pointing at the tent with the pole. “Hold the tent up.”

You put your fists on your hips, almost stomping on the ground to show him you were angry. But mostly to make him laugh, and the stern expression on his features melted as he giggled.

“You’re annoying”, you told him.

“That’s not what you were saying when we were…”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence, as you shoved him in the shoulder. “Jeon Jungkook, you are outrageous!” He grinned his boyish grin, eyes crinkling at the corners, and you almost fell in the galaxies again.

You caught yourself at the last second possible, looking away from him as a blush crept on your cheeks.

You cooperated then, helping Jungkook to set up the tent. You found that you made a better team once you really tried to focus on the job at hand instead of messing around – even if messing around was far more fun – and soon enough the two tents were up, right next to each other. Jungkook put your duffel bag in one, along with the sleeping bag you had gotten for the occasion, while you moved his stuff to his tent.

It was somehow… domestic, the way you two were carrying yourselves. And it was hard, then, to think about the fact that it was just a business deal. That it’d go back to how it was before, when you’d be back in Seoul.

Or maybe it didn’t have to. You just didn’t know if you wanted that anyway, because Soobin still occupied most of your thoughts. Still owned your heart, even if Jungkook occasionally made you feel … something.

There were no words to explain what he made you feel, other than what the night sky made you feel. The night sky he held in his eyes, and the one that lit up the heavens when the sun set, after you had played around on the beach with the rest of your friends all day, before eating a barbecue Jungkook had taken care of.

You acted as if you didn’t notice, but Jungkook always offered you the first bite of meat. Always made sure you didn’t want more before handing out the rest to his friends, making his own plate last.

Jungkook was a kind human being, behind all the vulnerability. Or maybe the vulnerability just made him kinder, as if he didn’t want the people around him to suffer like he had.

It made you wonder what the darkness in his eyes was about. What had hurt Jeon Jungkook enough to make him give himself away to a lot of girls, what had made him willing to make a deal such as the one you shared. And you didn’t know if he still slept around. You had had sex with another guy once, at the beginning of the deal, but then had found that Jungkook was plenty enough to satiate your cravings.

You liked to tell yourself he felt the same about you.

It was fun to be around Jungkook when he was with his friends. Even Minchae didn’t make you feel wary like she usually did. Nothing could really reach you, except your own darkness inside of you. And you found yourself gazing at Jungkook more, then. The thoughts you had on Soobin’s death anniversary came back to your mind and you wondered, truly wondered, if Soobin had been the one to bring Jungkook into your life.

Because even with all his red flags, the more you got to know Jungkook, the more he seemed just right.

It made you confused, deeply, and way too vulnerable for your own good.

Sitting around a small bonfire, Jungkook and his friends were talking about their latest works, and you tuned out the conversation as you looked up at the sky, heart squeezing in your chest at the sight of all the stars. You could still hear the sea in the distance, even if trees separated you from the beach, and the fresh air of the night filled you with wonder.

The kind of wonder that had your eyes trail back to Jungkook as he squeezed your hand, running his thumb on the back of your hand before letting go. Your eyes met, and he offered you a small smile, before going back to his conversation. His friends didn’t seem to notice the affectionate move, or maybe they chose to ignore it.

You did ignore the way Eunwoo and Jaehyun acted with your friends. Even if the latter seemed to wish to put a distance between Minchae and him, sometimes.

The rest of Jungkook’s friends would be coming tomorrow. Indeed, Jimin, Mingyu and Yugyeom were all supposed to join during the day tomorrow. You were excited to see Jimin again, to see if his own shadows had left him. To know what he thought about the tattoo after having it on his skin for a while.

Your eyes went up to the sky again, as you leaned your head against the chair you were sitting in. The glow of the fire played on your peripheral vision, and you tried to ignore it, to focus on the stars above. On their own glow, that seemed to be so faint compared to the stars you were used to. To those in the eyes of the boy next to you.

Your heart squeezed in your chest again, and you found nostalgia hitting you, about Soobin. And it wasn’t like you had gone camping with him before – Soobin had been a city boy through and through – but there was something in the feelings in you that reminded you of him. Of the early days of your relationship, when you had been fresh out of high school and ready to dive into adulthood.

You sighed, chasing the sadness that always came with Soobin away. Jungkook threw you a cautious look, before grabbing his phone. And when he jumped up next to you, you turned to look at him, eyes a little widened.

“Come with me”, he said, hand extended to you.

The conversation around you died as Jaehyun and Eunwoo looked at you curiously, awaiting your answer. Minchae and Aera had gone to take a shower, but you had taken yours earlier, right when you had come back from the beach, so it was just the two boys next to you.

“Why?” you asked, though you grabbed his hand.

He pressed your fingers with that gentle touch of his, looking towards the beach.

“You keep craning your neck so you can look up at the stars, let’s just go on the beach.”

The orange glow of the fire played on his features, and you looked at him for a time. Gazed at the soft look in his eyes, that hinted at concern and maybe something else. Vulnerability, perhaps.

“I don’t mind staying here”, you said right as he pulled you up to your feet.

He smiled then before pulling you closer and wrapping his arms around you. You stilled, frozen like a deer in headlights, not knowing what to do.

“Happy birthday, Y/n”, he whispered in your ear, and a trail of goosebumps moved down your spine.

It hit you. It was midnight. He had waited until it was midnight to wish you a happy birthday.

Business deal my ass.

Eunwoo and Jaehyun had started talking again, ignoring you, or maybe just offering you some privacy. And your heart beat louder in your chest, as you pulled away from the hug to gaze up at his face.

Jungkook was close to you. Doe eyes shining with fondness, and you found your own eyes dipping to his lips.

“Thank you, Jungkook.”

His gaze filled with even more light, with even more galaxies and stars and nebulas.

It was your first time calling him by his first name only.

“And I know you’ve been dying to stargaze, so let’s go on the beach.”

You nodded, unable to form a word as your throat closed with emotion. He grabbed your hand again, before pulling you behind him. He stopped to grab the blanket on which you had been sitting, and then you followed him to the beach, walking down the small dirt path in the forest.

The beach opened up in front of you, sand shining under the light of a thousand stars. The waves were smaller tonight, but their melody met the one in your heart, the one that was becoming louder with every stroke of Jungkook’s thumb on the back of your hand.

You took off your shoes, grabbing them in your hands before walking on the beach, turning left to head into the horizon. The sand was cold, under your toes, but the warm presence of Jungkook next to you compensated.

“I hope you’ve been enjoying yourself”, he said, glancing at you once before looking up at the sky.

You smiled, a soft smile that barely even tugged at the corners of your lips. “I am. Far more than I thought I would.”

He sighed in relief, and though he wasn’t holding your hand anymore, his gravity pulled you closer. Made you step just a little closer to him, until his arm was brushing yours each time you took a step.

“I’m glad.”

You walked in silence for a time, until Jungkook seemed to judge the spot good enough to lie down. You helped him put the large blanket on the ground, before sitting on it, feet digging in the sand.

“How does it feel to be twenty-five?” he asked.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “I’ve been twenty-six since the beginning of the year?”

He chuckled then, nudging you with his elbow. “I meant in international age. You’re older than me by a little less than a month.”

You smiled wickedly as you met his gaze. “And yet you haven’t called me nuna once.”

He laughed, before lying down, hands beneath his head. He watched you for a time, before his eyes slid to the sky above. “Would you want me to call you that?”

You scrunched up your nose in disgust, shaking your head forcefully.

“Understood.” He laughed again, before glancing at the spot next to him. “Why don’t you lie down?”

You were admiring the sea and its waves, watching them hit the shore relentlessly.

“I’m happy to be here”, you said, letting the truth fall from your mouth, even as your heart was trying to tell you not to.

To tell you to keep some mystery and enigma, so you could protect yourself.

“Something has been haunting you”, Jungkook said, voice low.

He wasn’t looking at you when you glanced at him, and you lay down next to him, eyes meeting the constellations in the sky. There was a veil, over the sea, where a thin cloud hid the stars, but most of the night shone over you, twinkling lights that reminded you of the man next to you.

You didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know if you were willing to tell him, to let him know about your vulnerability. About the demons that still haunted you, the ones he could chase away when you looked at the galaxies in his eyes, when you took the time to explore his worlds.

“This time of the year is always hard, for me”, you admitted. Refusing to turn your head towards him as you felt his gaze on your profile.

He stayed silent for a time, as if expecting you to continue, before speaking. “You don’t like celebrating your birthday?”

You chuckled, shaking your head a little. “No. I wish it could be just that.” Your voice was shaking a little, and you hated it. Hated how your heart had picked up its pace in your chest, adrenaline pumping in your blood.

As if you were in danger, when you were just about to tell Jungkook about your past. And maybe you were, maybe giving him that power over you was a danger in itself, but you couldn’t stop. Not when he had been so sweet, since last week. Not when he was looking at you like that, with the galaxies in his eyes feeling like home.

You hadn’t felt that way about anyone in a long time.

“My boyfriend died, at the end of July, a couple years ago.”

There was a heavy silence. As if even the waves had stopped, holding their breath as your words echoed over the water, getting lost in the horizon. It was a loud silence, one that ached far more than words ever could.

You turned your head to look at Jungkook. To meet the darkness that had taken over his eyes. The concern and grief for you swallowed his stars whole until his gaze had turned fully black.

“He died in a car accident. Well, at the hospital after the accident.”

Jungkook remained silent and you suddenly felt awkward. Awkward and angry to have revealed your secrets to him. You sat up, eyes getting lost in the distance again, as you brought your knees to your chest.

“Sorry.”

Jungkook sat up next to you, and he brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear. It was intimate, the way he did it, with his fingers lingering on your cheeks after. “Don’t be sorry.”

“I don’t know why I’m telling you”, you admitted, and there was an edge to your voice.

“It’s okay, Y/n”, he said, voice gentle and reassuring. “You can talk to me about anything.”

You wondered if that was true. If he’d want to listen to the feelings in your heart, when you got lost in his galaxies.

“His name was Kim Soobin”, you said, because you really needed to get the truth out. To tell the boy with galaxies in his eyes what made you the person that you were. “He was the one to train me, as a tattoo artist.”

Jungkook nodded, looking in the distance. “Was he your first?”

“He was.” You swallowed the lump that was forming in your throat. “He was my first everything.” You paused, eyes falling to the sand in which your feet were digging again, as if they’d find any form of comfort in the cold humidity of it. “It’s been hard to let people in after him.”

Jungkook moved a little closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You shivered, as if you suddenly were freezing, and you leaned your head on his shoulder. His warmth moved through you, slowly, anchoring you in the present.

“I think that’s why I’m telling you”, you admitted.

He put his head on top of yours, as his hand started stroking your arm gently. “You loved him a lot, I can understand why it’s hard.”

You weren’t quite sure what to reply to that. Because it was true, you had loved Soobin a lot. Still loved him a lot. But you doubted Jungkook could understand the type of loss you had been through. Maybe it was selfish, for you to feel like that, but you hated when people told you they understood.

They couldn’t.

“I mean”, he said after a time. “I don’t think I can understand. I’ve never been through something like that.”

Oh.

“And I am sorry you did. I just hope I can help ease the pain.”

There were tears blurring your eyes then. You didn’t dry the one that rolled on your cheek, didn’t dare move at all. Because Jungkook did ease the pain, better than anything ever could. You didn’t quite think about Soobin, when you were with him. It was Jungkook, and his galaxies and stars, that occupied your brain.

Maybe that most of all was your biggest fear. Because it gave him too much, over you. The feelings in your heart made Jeon Jungkook dangerous.

“You do”, you replied nonetheless. “At first it was just sex, but…” You trailed off, as he pressed the gentlest kiss on the top of your head. It silenced the fear in your heart, and one of your hands snaked around his waist, so you could hug him close. “You are a good person, Jeon Jungkook.”

He lay down, pulling you with him, until he was on his back with your head on his shoulder. His arms were holding you close, and you started playing with the hem of his shirt.

“So are you, Y/n”, he breathed. “I find myself lucky to have met you.”

Tears were pricking at your eyes again, but for a completely different reason now.

“Why did we make a deal like that?” you asked.

You wondered if Jungkook was going to reply, as silence stretched between you. Maybe asking it had been a mistake, maybe you should have…

“We could see where this trip brings us”, he murmured.

His heart was beating loud in his chest, so loud you could hear its every beat.

“Would you like that?” you asked.

He kissed your forehead then and his free arm moved up to cup your cheek. “Look at me.”

You did, meeting the infinity of his eyes. Falling face first until you were swimming in his galaxies. Until his worlds were swirling around you, all of them feeling close and dear to you. All of them feeling familiar, as if you had been meant to be their explorer.

“I would like that very much”, he finally replied.

He pulled you in again then, his gravity so strong your lips pressed against the pillowy softness of his. It took both of you aback, and you pulled away, just enough to gaze into his eyes again. Just enough to see the smile forming on his mouth, before you pressed your lips on his again.

The kiss was slow and gentle. Gentle like everything about Jungkook, when it came to you. It had your heart beating steadily in your chest, to the same beat in his, and he pulled you closer, hand finding the nape of your neck, until your tongue darted out to meet his, halfway between your mouth.

Even then, the rhythm remained slow, as if you had all the time in the universe. And maybe you did, and the universe had stopped, for you. Had decided to give you this bubble, outside of time, so you could indulge in each other. So you could taste the other, in a way you had forbidden at first.

The kiss was intoxicating, but the good kind of intoxicating. The one that left your mind feeling like it was floating above the clouds, swimming in the stars up ahead. In those in his gaze too, but you knew them like the back of your hand already.

It was strange, how easy it had been, to get lost in Jeon Jungkook. You wondered if you had gotten lost that first day, when he had stepped in your shop. When your body had been inexplicably attracted to his.

Jungkook sighed in the kiss, as he made you turn until he was hovering over you. Your arms wrapped around his neck, holding him ever so closer, and you let out a breathy sound as he sucked on your bottom lip.

“I’ve been dying to kiss you for so long”, he breathed, lips moving against yours as he spoke.

Had he been just a little farther away, he would have seen the blush creeping up on your cheeks. But he wasn’t, and his lips pressed on yours again, kissed you until you got drunk with the taste of him.

Your thoughts tried to hold onto coherency, onto anything so you wouldn’t get forever lost, but as your tongues met again, the sense in your head dissolved into nothingness.

Your last thought was that it was better than you had expected, to kiss a man with a piercing. You weren’t quite sure if that was because of the piercing, or because Jungkook was the one you were kissing.

Jungkook climbed on top of you, knee spreading your legs apart until you had wrapped them around his waist. His arms were on the two sides of your head, as he leaned on his forearms not to crush you. He kept kissing you, barely ever pulling away. Just enough so you could suck in a breath, before he was kissing you again.

You never wanted the kiss to end. It healed something in you, to have someone kissing you like that.

You ran a hand through his soft hair, pulling at the longer strands on the back of his head, just a little, just enough for him to pull away.

“Jungkook-ah”, you whispered, and his eyes fluttered open, right at the same time as yours did.

“Y/n.”

You smiled, echoing his own smile, as you gazed up at his eyes. At the night sky behind him, inside of him.

“Kiss me again”, you breathed.

He chuckled as he obeyed. It was a passionate kiss, one that had your blood turn a little hot in your veins. Not in a way that made you want his body, but rather in a way that made you want his star-filled soul.

You hoped he felt the same about you.

“We never should have made that a rule”, he said in between two kisses.

You smiled and he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. “It makes the kiss better.”

He lifted his head enough for you to look him in the eyes. He had a confused crease between his brows, one that you could see even in the darkness surrounding you.

“Why?”

You pursed your lips. “Because we’ve been craving to kiss each other for a long time.”

“Have we?” He smirked, before pecking your lips. He seemed to reconsider it, and he kissed you again, slow and steady. “We have.”

You gazed at each other then, long enough for you to explore all the worlds in his eyes. It filled your chest with warmth, the kind of warmth that melted the snow after a long winter. And each time you blinked, you were relieved he was still there, and not an invention of your mind.

“Thank you”, you said, as your eyes fluttered close when he kissed your forehead.

“What for?”

You thought about it for a time. Surprisingly enough, this time, when Soobin invaded your thoughts, your heart didn’t constrict in your chest, it didn’t ache the way it usually did. There was some lingering sadness, as there always would be, but it wasn’t like before.

“For not being weird, about Soobin.”

He pecked your nose then, before pulling away, rolling until he was lying next to you again. “I am happy you feel comfortable enough with me to talk to me about what’s been haunting you.”

You turned on your side, until you could gaze at him as he looked at the stars. “You know you can tell me about you too, right?”

“I know.” He smiled, glancing at you once. “But today is about you.”

“What if I want you to talk to me about you?”

He turned on his side, meeting your eyes. “Then I’d tell you that I don’t have a story like yours to share.”

“You’re an idol, I’m pretty sure you have hundreds of stories to share.”

He chuckled, before playing with his piercing. “Maybe I do. We need to save something for later.”

It made you wary, just a little, to have him refuse to talk to you. But then again, if he didn’t want to talk, it was his choice. You wouldn’t push. Like he hadn’t really pushed you to tell your story either. But you knew there was a story to him too. You could see it in the darkness invading his eyes, in the vulnerability that had him look away from you.

“Alright then, keep your secrets”, you said, trying to keep your tone light.

You knew you had succeeded as he turned on his back again, pointing to the sky above. “Don’t you want to look at the stars?”

“I do”, you said, though it took you a moment before you turned on your back too.

You stayed there with Jungkook for a long time, until time started again, until the stars above became a map you knew by heart too. And exhaustion eventually caught up to you, having you yawn, though you tried to hide it behind your hand.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Jungkook asked, as he held in his own yawn.

You shrugged. “We can stay a little longer.”

You were glad you had chosen to stay, when a shooting star cut through the sky.

“Did you see that?” you asked excitedly, sitting up. “There was a shooting star!”

He laughed, and he sat up too. “I saw it. We have to make a wish.”

And as you looked him in the eyes, looked at his own stars and galaxies, you knew what you wished. Knew it as if it was the secret to your universe.

Please don’t leave me like Soobin did.

*****

“Don’t make any noise”, Jungkook said as you walked back to the fireside, hand in hand. “I think everyone went to bed.”

And it seemed so, because once you reached the fire, only embers greeted you. You held onto Jungkook’s hand, as you looked around.

There was a light on in Aera and Eunwoo’s tent, and it took a moment for your brain to register the shadows on the canvas of the tent.

“Oh my God”, you let out.

Jungkook looked at you over his shoulder, and his eyes trailed to what you were looking out.

There was the distinct sound of moaning, and you exchanged a look, before bursting out laughing.

“Oh my God”, he echoed as he laughed. “They have no shame.”

“Don’t speak so loud”, you told him. “We don’t want to make them uncomfortable.”

He shrugged, before pulling you towards your own tent. “They are so into each other.”

“They are”, you agreed.

You stopped in front of your tent. Jungkook stood in front of you, head tilted so he could kiss your forehead. He had been doing that a lot, now. And it was so sweet, so warm, that you wrapped your arms around him to hug him tight to your chest. He chuckled, and the sound reverberated through his chest.

“Do you want to share a tent?” you asked then.

Because you didn’t want to let him go yet. Didn’t want to part ways for the night, when God knew there was a high chance you’d part ways at the end of this trip.

Or maybe you were just getting tired, and your fears held a stronger grip on you when you were.

“I snore.”

You snorted, glancing at his tent two meters away from yours. “I’m pretty sure we’ve put our tents close enough for me to hear you snoring over there.”

He glanced at his tent too, before letting out a small laugh. “Fair enough. Let me just grab my stuff.”

You let him go so he could do just that, watching him unzip his tent. He grabbed his duffel bag and his sleeping bag, before moving towards you.

“You didn’t bring a pillow?” you asked.

You didn’t remember bringing one into his tent earlier.

“I forgot”, he admitted. “It’s fine, I’ll steal yours.”

You glared at him, fists on your hips. “Try me.”

He pecked your lips, and your heart did a somersault in your chest.

“You can use my chest as a pillow.”

He unzipped the tent flap as you just stood there, not really knowing what to say. You were free falling – it was an exhilarating feeling, and you now understood why people liked skydiving.

Spending time with Jeon Jungkook like that felt like skydiving.

“And put my head on the source of the snoring?” you finally said. “Nu-uh, you’ll be the small spoon.”

He laughed, a clear laugh that brought the softest grin to your face. “Alright then, birthday girl.”

You followed him in the tent as he moved in, immediately going to the opposite side so you’d have enough place. It made you realize that the tent was a lot smaller than you had expected, and really you wouldn’t have a choice but cuddle Jungkook.

Had he done it on purpose, knowing that you’d find your way to each other during the night?

It was a thought that occupied your mind, as you got ready for bed with him. With him tickling you whenever he got the chance, holding you close as you tried to put on a pyjama. You laughed in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his grasp, but to no avail.

“Let me go.”

He kissed the top of your head. “No.”

“I’ll bite you.”

His cute giggle filled the space around you, until you indeed sunk your teeth in his skin, where the collar of his shirt ended.

“Ow, what the fuck!” he yelped, and you dissolved into a fit of giggles.

Until you met his darkened gaze, in the light of the lamp he had turned on after you had moved into the tent.

You gulped, glancing down at his lips.

“That hurt”, he said, and he used one hand to massage the spot you had bit.

Even though you were now free, his gravity was too strong for you to move away. So, you moved closer, until your lips met his swollen ones, from your previous kisses.

He kissed you back, and you sighed against his lips, hand going up to pull him in by the collar of his shirt. Jungkook chuckled in the kiss, but he followed you as you lay down, with him on top of you.

With his whole body covering you, Jungkook left your mouth, to start pressing wet kisses on your jaw. And down your neck, all the way to your collarbone. He went a little up again then, and his teeth pulled at your skin as he bit you.

You whined, even though you knew you deserved it. You had been the one to do it in the first place. Yet, as Jungkook ran his tongue along the bite, it wasn’t pain that washed through you, but desire.

You ran a hand through his hair, until you grabbed at the long strands on the back to pull him back into a kiss, this time kissing him hungrily. Passionately, until he started grinding into you with the start of an erection.

“Y/n”, he breathed against your lips.

It made you moan, as he grinded into you again. “You’re driving me crazy.”

He chuckled, with manly pride. “I know.”

You sucked on his bottom lip, tongue darting to play with his piercing, like you had wanted to do for so long. He groaned, and one of his hands went down until he could hook one of your legs around his waist, to grind into you from a better angle. It had him hit your clit, and you let out a moan as you let go of his lip.

“I’m going to take my time with you tonight”, Jungkook said, and he once again aimed for your neck.

Before going down and down, until he had found a spot for himself between your legs. He looked heavenly good down there, even more so as he pulled your panties down.

Good thing you had only had time to put your shirt on, and your shorts had been forgotten somewhere in the tent.

“Take off your shirt.”

Never mind.

You obeyed, sitting up just long enough to discard the piece of clothing. Jungkook drank in the sight of you, eyes going to your erect nipples.

“Play with your tits.”

Your lips pressed in a thin line as a blush crept on your cheeks. Yet you obeyed his command again, as you lied back down. He watched you carefully, for a while, admiring your every move. It made you feel strange yet hot. So hot, like you were in the middle of the galaxies in his eyes. Like you had been swallowed by one of his suns. And maybe you had been.

Especially as his mouth met the skin of your inner thigh, and he sucked on it.

“Do you want me to eat you out?” he said against your skin, right as he moved to your other thigh, his nose grazing your most sensitive area.

“Do I really need to answer that?”

He chuckled again, before diving in. Going right to sucking on your clit, instead of easing you into it like he usually did. It startled you, making you buck your hips forward, until he rested one of his hands flat on you, pushing you right back to the ground.

You let go of one of your breasts to grab a handful of his hair, as his tongue drew a circle around your clit. His eyes opened to meet yours, and they were dark, so dark. But not with vulnerability. They rather were filled with burning lust, and it made you pussy clench.

He kept eating you out, gaze locked to yours, until you started grinding into his mouth, trying to add more pressure to his ministrations. He got the clue, spreading his tongue flat against you, and before you knew it he was fingering you with one finger, arching it to find the spot that he knew made you come in no time.

That he knew made you squirt like there was no tomorrow. It had embarrassed you, at first, but you knew he loved it. Knew it by the way he kept making you come again, making you squirt as he lapped up your juices. And that was what he did just then, making you come as he added a second finger, pumping his digits in and out of you quickly, until your juice was dripping down his chin.

Only then did he pull away, breathing raggedly. He wasted no time before kissing you, letting you taste yourself on him. You moaned in the kiss, and he laughed, before pulling away and sitting back on his heels.

“Don’t be too loud, we wouldn’t want people to hear us.”

You only then remembered that you were in a tent, right next to your friends and Jungkook’s, and that you had just moaned Jungkook’s name as you came.

“They probably already heard us”, you pointed out.

Jungkook smirked. “Oh, I made sure they did.”

You shook your head as you chuckled. “You’re insufferable.”

“You like it.”

You couldn’t deny it, so you instead played with the hem of his shirt. He took that as a cue to take it off, and you watched the strong planes of his body as the shirt met your pyjama somewhere next to you. You ran your hands on his chest, admiring him in the soft glow of the lamp.

“You are beautiful, Jungkook”, you breathed.

He lost his smirk, as his eyes filled with hundreds of emotions, cheeks tinting pink. “I love it when you call me Jungkook”, he admitted, eyes dipping to your lips.

“I know.” You smiled, wetting your lips. “Wait till I moan it again.”

The smirk came back full force, and he crashed his lips on yours again, kissing you hungrily until you were gasping for air. He pulled away then, to take off his pants and underwear. You made place for him between your legs as he came back, nestling himself between your thighs.

He ran his hands along the skin, leaving a trail of goosebump behind, as his cock rested on your pelvis. You sat up, hand moving between you so you could grab his shaft, pumping it up and down slowly. He grunted, the pillowy softness of his lips a ghost against yours.

“I’m going to fuck you slow tonight”, he said as he rested his forehead against yours. “I want you to forget about everything but my cock inside of you.”

Your grip on him tightened, and you ran your thumb on his head to collect the precum at the slit. “I always forget everything when you fuck me with your fat cock.”

And it was true, Jungkook had an above average dick. Not excessively big, but big enough for him to have to give you a moment to adjust, even after he had been fingering you. Though it always helped, if he had before, spreading your walls enough for them to be ready to welcome him in.

By the juice that was still drying on his chin, you knew you were way ready.

“Do you now?” he asked cockily.

It made you chuckle lightly, and you pecked his lips.

It was true. He was all you could think of, when you were entwined with him like that. And it was healing, oh so healing.

“Yeah.”

He smiled, a wide happy smile. Until you picked up your pace, and a moan escaped the confines of his mouth.

“Who’s got to be silent now, mmh?” you said, making him chuckle.

“Lie down, I want to be inside of you”, he replied. And it was said with a soft edge to it, as if the fondness in him had won against his lust.

That, more than anything, made you lie down. He grabbed his cock, running it up and down your folds a few times to collect your juice. He met your gaze as he did so, and your heart burst with warmth. Until he pushed in, and your heart burst with pleasure instead, making your eyes shut.

He immediately put a hand above your mouth, and you moaned right in his palm.

He sheathed himself entirely inside of you before letting go of your mouth, only replacing his palm with his mouth. His lips danced against yours, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, to hold him close. He didn’t move his hips for a time, perfectly content to just be inside of you.

When he did start moving, it was to slide almost all the way out, before he thrusted in again. Far too slow, compared to what you were used to. But it was sensual, stretching every inch of you, and it felt divine.

It was different, the way you fucked that night. Your heart wanted to say it wasn’t fucking, because really, it was too filled with emotions. Too filled with stars and galaxies and kisses that had your mind dwindling to nothingness.

It made you reach a different high too, one that just filled you with a soft warmth, like there was a bonfire in your heart and he was feeding it logs to keep it going all night. He reached his high, too, as he was still sliding in and out slowly, pace never faltering.

And even after he came, stilling inside of you, Jungkook kept on kissing you, swallowing all the little breathy moans that fell from your mouth. Until he just rested his forehead against yours, and you breathed the same air for a while.

It took him a time, to climb down from on top of you. And when he did, he offered you one of his oversize sweaters, getting dressed along with you to accompany you to the bathroom. He held your hand all the way there, and then all the way back, thumb brushing against the back of your hand as he peppered small kisses on your temple.

And as much as it felt right, you hated it. Hated that as you came down from your high, you realized you had betrayed all of the rules you had made.

You had feelings for the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

*****

The waves of the ocean were a constant rhythm, along with the wind. A soft breeze, a warm one, that caressed your skin as you floated up and down, following the rhythm, the breathing of the sea under you. Seagulls cried in the sky, as you gazed up at the heavens with a smile on your face, basking in the rays of the sun.

The ocean was calm today. Happy, relieved of the tension. Or maybe that was just you. Because you had woken up in Jungkook’s arms, and it had felt perfect.

It was a good birthday.

The cool water lapped at your thighs, where your legs disappeared in the sea, on the two sides of the surfboard you had rented for the day. The waves were small, too small to surf, yet you had tried going into the water, along with Aera, while the boys played volleyball on the beach. Aera was lying on her surfboard next to you, eyes shut as she just let it float on the water, and Minchae was sunbathing somewhere on the beach.

You made sure you didn’t float away from the coast, but it felt like the ocean had no plan to pull you in, when the boy with galaxies in his eyes had already did. Indeed, it almost felt like you were always gravitating back to him, to the soft smile he had offered you all morning, as he had made you coffee. As he had made you sit in his lap, cuddling on a chair outside in front of all your friends.

Aera had taken one look at you, this morning, and had offered you the most crooked grin she could muster up.

She had then wished you happy birthday, and had offered you a small gift, with Cartier bands in it, for the two of you. Friendship rings, and it had had your eyes watering a little, though you had kept it in.

Aera truly was the best friend you could have ever hoped for.

“I can’t believe how much our lives have changed”, Aera said, voice floating above the sounds of the ocean to meet your ears.

You chuckled. “It’s crazy.”

Aera sat up, swaying a little on the water before her eyes found yours. “I’m glad you found Jungkook.”

It had a lump form in your throat, and you remained silent.

“He’s going to be good for you.”

It made you glimpse at Jungkook, and he waved at you from his spot on the beach.

“He is”, you admitted, eyes sliding back to Aera, who had the smallest and softest smile on her lips. “I’m lucky to have met him.”

Aera nodded, and a silence moved between you, as you went back to enjoy the sun.

“Soobin would be happy for you, you know?” Aera said. It was said like a question, as if she needed the reassurance that you weren’t going to push Jungkook away, like you had pushed most of everyone else after Soobin.

You blinked back an unexpected wave of tears. “I know. Sometimes…” you trailed off, searching for words. “Sometimes I think Soobin is the one that sent me Jungkook.”

Aera had silver in her eyes when you met her gaze again. “Maybe he did.”

As you remembered Jungkook last night, and the sea of stars in the sky and in his eyes, you were almost convinced that it was the truth. That you had always been meant to find Jungkook, after Soobin’s journey in your life.

You were aware that you were falling, and falling hard. For someone that hadn’t let herself love anyone after Soobin, you had fallen for Jeon Jungkook far quicker than you had thought it possible.

After all, there had been a reason why you only did momentary connections before him.

You stayed in the water with Aera for a little longer, watching a few shearwaters flying to reach the small fishing boat you could see in the distance. Watching the boys on the otherwise empty beach – they had almost rented the whole camping to make sure you were going to be alone.

It was a great birthday indeed, you told yourself every time you met Jungkook’s gaze, even in the distance. As if his galaxies always knew where to find you. And maybe they did.

You hoped that they did.

It was hard to accept the vulnerability. To let it in, after having pushed it back for years. But it felt like you were coming alive again, seeing colors for the first time in a while. The full spectrum of the rainbow, dancing on the scenes in front of your eyes.

A little later, you noticed Jungkook walking away. He had done it once already, coming back with water for everyone, along with Jimin, Yugyeom and Mingyu. So, you shrugged it off, focusing on trying to lie down on the surfboard without falling in the water.

Another moment of peace, as you watched the fluffy white clouds travelling across the sky. Until Aera’s voice broke you out of the zenitude, bringing you back down to Earth.

“Who is that, with Jungkook?” she asked.

Maybe you knew then, that the peace was over. Because your heart filled with dread, the kind that makes one feel like the beating of their heart will cease to exist.

You sat up, slowly, glancing towards the beach again. There were two girls, with Jungkook. A tall one, with legs that went on for days and long hair that swept at the small of her back, and a smaller one with shoulder-length pink hair. Even in the distance, you could feel the intensity of Jungkook’s gaze on the tall one, intensity that she seemed to reciprocate.

“I didn’t know other girls were coming”, you admitted.

You watched as Jungkook spoke with the girls, until he was joined by Eunwoo. Eunwoo, who threw an arm around Jungkook and motioned towards you and Aera, saying something in Jungkook’s ear.

Jungkook shrugged off Eunwoo’s arm, before glancing once at you. There was a small moment, where your eyes met and everything seemed fine, until he looked away and took a step towards the tall girl. Saying something to her, and then they were walking away, just the two of them, following the coastline towards the north.

Eunwoo’s eyes slid to you then, while the pink-haired girl folded her arms on her chest, eyes moving to you a moment later. It felt too out of place, in this idyllic picture, with the lush trees in the background and the shining sand and the blue of the sky.

The moment felt out of place, like it was happening in the wrong universe.

Aera was looking at you, when you turned your head towards her.

“Who’s that?”

You swallowed, surprised to hear the gulp you emitted. “I don’t know.”

Aera was a good friend. Because she sensed your unease immediately, as your eyes didn’t quite focus on her face. Made you get out of the water, and then hooked her arm with yours, as she guided you towards the pink-haired girl, looking for answers.

Walking on the sand felt strange, after having been in the water for so long. Like you weren’t quite adjusted to the gravity anymore. Or perhaps gravity had shifted, in this new universe.

“Hi”, Aera said with a chirpy voice. “Didn’t expect to have other girls joining us.”

She glanced at you, before resuming her attention on the stranger. “I’m Aera, and this is Y/n.”

The girl smiled a tight-lipped smile that felt more awkward than anything. “Nice to meet you. I’m Seungwan.”

She looked at you, and her eyes held no expression whatsoever for you to interpret. Just a bleak look that felt like trouble, in some sort of way.

“Nice to meet you”, you said. Filling the awkward silence, as Aera cocked her head to the side.

“You know Jungkook?” she asked, and you almost wanted to pinch her arm.

Perhaps because you didn’t want to hear the answer to that.

“Yeah, he dated Sena for a really long time.”

She said that looking in the direction of Jungkook and the tall girl. It didn’t take more than that for you to connect the dots. To understand that Jungkook was with his ex, talking to her, just a few hundred yards away.

A whole world away.

“What are you doing here?” Aera asked, and all the friendliness had left her voice.

Bless her.

“We were just camping and we ran into Jungkook on the way to the beach.”

You were barely even listening anymore, looking towards Jungkook as he spoke to the girl. They had stopped and were now standing one in front of the other. They seemed close, and a stupid part of your brain hoped it was because they were far, and your eyes couldn’t really tell.

You didn’t know how to feel, all of a sudden. Some part of you wanted to be angry at Jungkook, for talking to his ex in front of you like that… But he owed you nothing.

You owed him nothing.

“Alright then”, Aera said, and she looked at her nails, an eyebrow cocked in indifference. “And why are they speaking now?”

Seungwan looked uncomfortable, and she glanced at you. You held her gaze, face falling into a cold mask.

“Uh…They really loved each other?”

It hurt you. As if Jungkook hadn’t been allowed to love anyone else before you. You hadn’t even allowed him to love you, at first.

It hit you then. He had been the one to ask for the no feelings rule. Maybe, maybe there had been a reason why Jeon Jungkook didn’t want you falling in love.

“Weird, I wouldn’t talk to my ex”, Aera said.

Eunwoo moved back next to you then, and he had a stern expression on his face. Seungwan blushed, looking down at her feet, and Eunwoo rolled his eyes, before glancing at Aera and you.

His gaze landed on Aera more than you, and it almost felt like a conversation moved between them. And maybe it did, because Eunwoo crossed his arms on his chest, looking down at the pink-haired girl.

“You should go get Sena and leave.”

Seungwan pursed her lips, furrowing her brows. “Why?”

“Because she’s ruining the atmosphere, and we don’t need her here.”

There was a smile that wanted to break on your face hearing that. But it didn’t, unable to reach your lips when you remembered that Jungkook had chosen to speak to Sena in the first place.

“They can do whatever they want, you know.”

“Easy to say for you”, Eunwoo said, chuckling bitterly. “You didn’t have to take care of Jungkook after she broke his heart.”

Seungwan rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

She still obeyed, and you watched her storm off towards Jungkook and Sena. The two exes seemed like they were speaking vehemently and you found yourself gulping.

“Don’t let it get to your head”, Eunwoo said, voice reassuring. “Those two girls are bitches.”

You nodded, meeting his gaze. You found you were too much of a coward to hold it.

It took a moment for Jungkook to come back. For him to walk with his head hung low towards the rest of the group. He didn’t meet your gaze, moving towards where the trees threw shade on the beach, and he sat down, resting his hands on his knees as his eyes slid to the sea.

It was hard to pretend it didn’t upset you, but you shrugged it off. If he needed a moment to think, you weren’t going to be the one to interrupt. You respected him too much for that, but mostly you respected yourself too much.

You had never been one to beg a guy for attention, and Jeon Jungkook was no different.

So, you moved to where the rest of the boys were, even as Aera asked you if you were fine. You reassured her, insisting that you didn’t care, insisting that Jungkook could speak to whoever he wanted, until she finally dropped it.

You let her join the volleyball game as Jimin decided to stop playing, jogging to your side.

“Y/n!” he greeted you happily, a wide grin on his face.

You were glad to see the shadows had left his gaze, after the last time you had seen him.

“Hey”, you greeted him back. “How’s the tattoo?”

The grin melted into a smaller smile. “I love it. I wanted to say thank you again.”

You bowed to him to show your gratitude. “Of course.”

“Also, I heard it’s your birthday?”

You nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

“Happy birthday!”

He offered you a small hug, and you caught a whiff of his cologne. Who wore cologne when they were camping?

But Jimin was friendly. Really friendly, a deep contrast to what Jungkook had turned into. Because Jungkook didn’t quite meet your gaze, after that. Didn’t really look at you at all, as if you didn’t really exist. There was darkness in his eyes, the vulnerable one that made his stars go out. Like a solar eclipse, yet the moon had stopped its course in front of the sun, plunging his worlds into eternal darkness.

You didn’t know if you wanted to try to reach his light, behind the moon. Not when he was being so distant and cold, so different to what he had been like just a few hours before.

Before his ex had walked back into his life.

You wondered how you would have acted had the roles been reversed. Had Soobin still been alive and he’d come to this beach. And you didn’t really want to know the answer, so you pushed the thought to the far back of your mind. Tried to tell yourself that Jungkook just needed time, and that he’d speak to you when he was ready.

You didn’t want to put pressure on him, when he looked so vulnerable, so close to breaking.

So, you spent the rest of the day with your friends, the ghost of Jungkook following all of you around. Not really participating in the partying that ensued, as the boys decided your birthday was a good enough reason to get plastered. Not really eating when it was time to eat, and that most of all scared the shit out of you.

Jungkook had to be severely upset, to have lost his appetite like that.

Aera looked angrier, as time went by. Offering deathly stares to Jungkook, until you elbowed her in the ribs and told her it was fine. She always resumed the glaring as soon as you turned your back, because maybe she knew.

Maybe she knew that deep down, the behaviour Jungkook was portraying right now… it was killing you. Reminding you of how much you hated birthdays, how much you hated that you were constantly getting older, while Soobin hadn’t aged a year since that fatal July day.

But you had always been a party girl, and so you let the energy of the moment carry you. You knew you’d crash eventually, but Jungkook didn’t have to ruin this birthday. You had ruined enough birthdays yourself.

After the sun had set, you all went for a swim, under the sea of stars. They felt different today – colder, fewer, as if most of the ones you had seen last night had been in Jungkook’s eyes. And maybe they had been, and the loss of his galaxies could be seen in the sky up above.

Jungkook had stayed on the beach, looking at you from his sad spot. You liked to tell yourself his eyes were following you, but you were pretty sure they were still lost in the distance, as his mind replayed his memories.

Maybe that was it. Seeing Sena had had him getting stuck in the past, and you just needed to push him into the present again.

You swam out of the water, wringing your hair as you walked towards him. The oversized t-shirt you had been wearing all day to protect the barely healed tattoo from the sun clung to your skin, acting as if it was second skin to you. Jungkook acknowledged your presence by vaguely looking at you, before looking in the distance again.

You sat next to him, bringing your legs to your chest as you followed his gaze, eyes moving to your friends playing in the water. You remained silent, even when sitting next to him like that felt strangely awkward.

As if he wasn’t the Jungkook you had known before.

“Why don’t you enjoy yourself with everyone?” he asked after a while. His voice sounded different, distant, as if he indeed was lost in the past.

You shrugged. “I want to spend time with you too.”

“Oh.” He fell silent, for a long time, before he scraped his throat. “Are you enjoying your birthday?”

You wanted to be angry at him, then. To tell him that he had been acting like a dick, all day, but really, you didn’t find it in you to be that honest with him.

Not when a part of you still believed he could be redeemed.

“It’s been…” you trailed off, as Minchae screamed from the water, right before her scream was cut off by Jaehyun pulling her under the surface with him. “It’s been fun.”

You glanced at his profile. Willed his eyes to slide to yours, but they remained on the horizon of his past.

“You can talk to me, you know”, you said. A hand held out for him, if he was willing to take it.

You watched his Adam apple bob as he swallowed. His eyes fell to the sand in front of him, and he slowly shook his head. “I don’t want to talk.”

It angered you. Just a little. And maybe if you hadn’t drunk before, honesty wouldn’t have found its way to your mouth. But there was nothing to stop it now, no inhibitions left behind.

“It’s a little unfair, don’t you think?” you said. “I offered you my secrets last night, my biggest vulnerabilities, and still you remain closed off.”

His brows knit on his face. Maybe you had gone too far, but you wanted to get a reaction out of him. Anything, to shake him out of the darkness in his eyes.

“Isn’t that a little selfish?” he asked. “To expect me to talk just because you confided in me.”

Maybe it was. Maybe it was inherently selfish, to expect him to give you something of him too. To believe you were owed a piece of him, when you had offered him the biggest piece of you last night. But you had always been a firm believer that people couldn’t just take in life. Life was about giving and receiving.

Maybe you were selfish indeed.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to”, you said, voice a little strained from the offense that had taken over you, at being called selfish.

Because even if you knew some part of you was, no one liked to be told their flaws.

“Well, I won’t.”

There was a heavy silence then. A silence empty of all the warmth he had brought to you last night and this morning. A silence empty of the feeling of his soft lips against yours, and the praises he had whispered on your skin. It made you swallow a sudden lump in your throat, and you got up.

You needed to escape, before his vulnerability reached you too.

“Alright then”, you let out flatly. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

You took a couple of steps away, before turning to look at him. His eyes were staring at the spot where you had been sitting a moment ago, and it made you ache. Ache as you wanted to still be sitting there, and to have his eyes on you instead.

“I’m going to take a shower, I’ll meet you all at the tents.”

He nodded, almost imperceptibly, and you turned back around. Leaving him in his darkness, and in the sorrow that was plaguing him.

The shower you took was long. Cold, as if the heater had gone out, like the warmth in Jungkook’s eyes had. And when you were done, you stayed in the bathroom a little longer. In its artificial light, a light that suddenly felt safe. Safer than whatever was inhabiting Jungkook.

Maybe you were a coward, for dreading the moment you’d go back to the camping site. Maybe you were a coward indeed.

It took you a while to collect yourself. To remind yourself that Jungkook’s behaviour didn’t have to matter. That tomorrow you’d go back to Seoul and you could pretend the weekend had never happened. Could pretend that Jeon Jungkook’s journey in your life had never happened.

You missed home, then. Not your parents’ house. No, you missed the safety of Soobin’s arms, where nothing had ever been wrong. Where the universe had always felt like it was running on the right course, and not derailing, spinning off its axis.

You collected your stuff, before glancing at yourself in the mirror one last time. Breathing in, holding your breath, before letting it out. Your heart didn’t quite seem like it wanted you to go out in the night again, but you steeled yourself, willing it to stop guiding your every move, and you stepped outside.

The contrast from the neon lights to the lone yellow lamp next to the door had you blinking a few times, trying to bring your eyes to focus. It took a moment for them to adjust, and once they did, you started the walk back, choosing the darkness of the night as your companion, instead of using the flashlight of your phone to guide you.

Your steps knew where to take you, and a few minutes later you could hear the sound of music and laughter. It felt out of place, that happy universe of your friends, when you were unsure what to feel. Yet you let your face break into a smile, as you stepped into the circle of light that encompassed the camping site.

Your eyes scanned the scene – Minchae and Jaehyun cuddling next to the fire, eating marshmallows together, while Mingyu tended to the flames. Eunwoo, Aera, and Yugyeom, playing a drinking game with Jimin laughing his ass off rolling on the ground next to them. They looked happy, all of them, a scenery straight from a coming-of-age movie. It gave you a little warmth, to know that you’d have the chance to participate in it, to become part of the scene, if you let yourself.

But something was missing. Its absence was far brighter than the happiness, as if the key to the keyhole was missing.

Jungkook wasn’t there. And your eyes searched for him, instinctively, until you had walked closer to the fire, aiming for your tent so you could put your stuff down. When you passed next to Mingyu, he met your inquisitive gaze, and you immediately knew what he was going to say.

“Don’t look for him”, he said. “He left with Sena, saying they needed to talk.”

You stopped walking, holding onto your stuff as if it’d anchor you. “Did he say how long he’ll be gone?”

Minchae was the one to answer. “Y/n, just forget him, we all can see how hung up he still is over her.”

You looked at her, cocking an eyebrow, right as Jaehyun said something in her ear. She looked sheepish, then, as if she hadn’t realized her words had come off as mean.

“Sorry”, she apologized, and then she shrugged her shoulders. “You’re way better than her anyway, she’s built like a skeleton.”

You snorted, laughter bubbling from the least expected place. You had never liked Minchae, but the way she had said it… It made you smile, and you let Jungkook go from your thoughts.

At least you hoped you did.

“Then make me some marshmallows, and we should all play Titanic after.”

Minchae smiled a wicked smile, and for the first time in your life you found yourself liking her. Her and her usual better-than-you attitude. Because maybe she was, and you had always just been jealous.

It didn’t matter anymore, not as you returned to partying, and Jungkook dwindled away from your thoughts with each mix of beer and soju you had to drink – you had always sucked at Titanic. Not when the stars up above started feeling right again, because friends had always been more important to you anyway.

Friends that were willing to party for your birthday like that, mostly. Especially Aera, and her shamelessness in making the most sexual jokes she could think of, making everyone cringe but you and Eunwoo. Jimin too, and the friendliness that was oozing from him.

Jimin knew how to have fun, and how to make sure the people around him were having fun too. He was a kind soul, a gentle soul, and you were happy his shadows had lifted. He looked a lot better when he was shining like that.

Maybe that was why you found yourself sitting at the fire with him, sometime before dawn. Sometime after everyone had gone to bed, and you had decided to prolong the night a little, holding on to its revelry and happiness.

Holding on to everything that could chase the boy with galaxies in his eyes out of your mind.

“You’re not going to bed?” Jimin asked, and you startled.

You had thought he had fallen asleep a while ago.

“Nah.” You shrugged your shoulders. “The fire is not dead yet.”

He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just embers.”

It was. Yet, you didn’t really want to go to bed. Not when you knew the tent was empty, empty of the warmth of the boy who had slept next to you the night before.

Jimin threw you a careful look, as you stared into the glowing embers. He knew. You could tell he knew, yet he didn’t mention it. Didn’t tell you you were wrong, for being there waiting for Jungkook to come back.

Because that was what it was. You were waiting for him, hoping he’d come back. Hoping he’d prove that Sena didn’t really matter anymore.

Jimin’s phone dinged, a surprising sound in the middle of the seaside night. A second later he looked at it, and you couldn’t help but notice the lovesick smile that moved on his features.

Maybe there was a reason why his shadows had lifted after all.

It was fond, the way he looked at his phone, typing his reply before putting it back in his pocket. It made you jealous. Jealous, because you wished it could have been you, with a fond smile like that tonight. But it wasn’t.

Jimin met your gaze, and the fondness changed to something else. Concern, maybe.

“Who’s texting you like that?” you asked. Because you knew he had a question on his lips, one you didn’t want to hear.

The smile came back, and his eyes fell to the embers. “A friend.”

“A friend?”

He let out a small laugh, a shy laugh. “My neighbour.”

“Your neighbour?”

You had a teasing smile on your lips, and he chuckled.

“We’ve gotten closer in the last few weeks.”

He had a slight blush on his cheeks, and you knew. Knew what love looked like, because it was shining in his eyes. It was a great look, on the features of Park Jimin.

“You like her, do you?”

He didn’t reply for a long time. Face falling serious, eyes searching the embers for answers. It made you think about Jungkook, about what he was probably doing, with Sena right now.

It was poison to your heart, to think about that.

“I think I do.” The truth fell between you, like a leaf falls on water. Slowly, softly, like it’s falling right into place. “She just got out of a long relationship. I don’t think she’s ready for anything but…” Another chuckle. “I think I fell for her when she called me an asshole and threw up on my feet.”

A crease appeared between your brows. It was hard to imagine what could have made him fall, in that instance, and you couldn’t be in his memories. Couldn’t understand the feelings in his heart.

“Anyway”, he said, sitting back in his chair. “Enough sentimentality.”

You pursed your lips. “I don’t mind it”, you admitted.

But you did. Sort of. Because Jungkook hadn’t come back, and you were losing hope.

It had been stupid to have hope in the first place.

“I’m sorry”, Jimin apologized. “About Jungkook.”

Your heart froze in your chest.

“Ah, it’s fine.”

“But it’s not.” He was looking at you, but you didn’t turn your head towards him. “He cares about you, you know? But…”

But Sena had been his lover for a long time. Had probably mattered too much, for him to decide to disappear in the night with her.

“They dated for a really long time”, Jimin continued. “They were high school sweethearts.”

You weren’t sure you wanted to know, yet you let Jimin talk. Let Jimin fill the void the boy with galaxies in his eyes had left behind.

“It didn’t end well”, Jimin said. And then he scoffed, before leaning forward, putting his elbows on his knees. He rested his head on his fists, eyes getting lost in the embers again. “I don’t know if I should be telling you this.”

You met his gaze then, as he slid his eyes back to you. He looked sad. For you, or for Jungkook and his broken heart. It was hard to tell.

“It’s just…” you trailed off. “We were just fuck buddies. And then he invited me here and…”

Jimin nodded, understanding moving on his features, softening them in an expression you hated. You didn’t like when people pitied you.

“And it felt as if it was something more. He…”

You fell silent, because emotions raised in you. Emotions you didn’t want to have, didn’t want to acknowledge you had.

You really did miss Soobin in that moment.

“He’ll come back”, Jimin said. As if he was certain of it, when Jungkook still wasn’t anywhere to be seen. “Trust me.”

“It just sucks that it had to happen on my birthday.”

“Jungkook is a mess.”

There was nothing truer than that. But so were you, and maybe… Maybe that was why you had thought you were a mess together. A piece of art, in all the flaws you shared.

“That he is”, you agreed. You sighed, a heavy sound, one that put a burden on your shoulders. On your heart, as it ached in your chest. “I… I think I’ll head to bed.”

Jimin understood that you needed to be alone. That you needed to flee the conversation, because it was too true. Too close to your vulnerability, igniting it in a fire that burned and ached and suffocated you.

“Good night, Y/n.” He stayed silent as you got up. “Happy birthday again.”

You looked at him, and you hoped he couldn’t see the silver lining your gaze.

“Thank you.”

He smiled, apologetically, sadly, and you turned, heading towards your tent.

The tent where Jungkook had made love to you last night. Because that was what it had been: the way he had kissed you and held you. It had been love, though it might have never been directed at you.

Maybe he had been trying to fuck Sena out of his system, all this time.

You unzipped the tent flap, before slipping into its cool darkness. It felt better somehow than the careful eyes of Park Jimin. Eyes that had known too much. Yet the tent felt empty, terribly so, and you wished you could be home.

You laid awake for a long time, staring up at the fabric. Imagining the night sky on the other side, though it was slowly lightening, as dawn inched closer.

You laid awake for so long you thought you wouldn’t ever fall asleep. But some part of you was still waiting, hoping he’d come back.

You were finally dozing off when a voice reached your ear.

“You’re still up?”

It was Jungkook.

You could almost imagine Jimin stretching before he replied. “I don’t have a tent.”

“You could have taken my tent.”

There was a long silence. “You really think you’re going to share a tent with Y/n tonight, after spending time with Sena like that?”

Jungkook didn’t say anything.

“What the fuck was that, Kook-ie?”

“Nothing happened”, Jungkook said defensively. “We just needed some closure.”

Jimin scoffed. “You could have chosen another moment for that.”

“Fuck off, Jimin, I don’t feel like getting scolded now.”

There was a tremolo to Jungkook’s voice. A hint that he was about to cry, or had been crying before. And you could imagine he had been crying, if closure had been what he was seeking.

There was scuffling, moving closer to the tent, and you felt your heart strain in your chest. You turned on your side, shutting your eyes. Pretending you were asleep as Jungkook unzipped the tent and slid in.

You listened to him move closer, until he was lying down behind you. You could feel the weight of his gaze on the back of your head, as you felt a tear slip on your cheek.

Jungkook moved, resting his forehead on the back of your shoulder. He sighed heavily. It broke, like he was sobbing, and it hurt. Hurt and ached and burned.

“Y/n?”

His voice was broken. Sad, sorrowful, holding the weight of the universe.

He whispered something, and the meaning of his words didn’t reach your mind, his voice too low for you to hear. Until he spoke a little louder.

“Please don’t hate me.”

“Go to bed, Jungkook.”

You felt him stiffen behind you. “Y/n… I want to talk now.”

There was a plea in his voice, and it just made more tears slide on your cheeks.

“I don’t want to”, you whispered.

“Please…”

“You can’t just spend the evening with her and then decide you’re ready to talk to me.”

You wondered what his galaxies would look like, if you were to gaze at his eyes. The galaxies that you had thought were yours, last night. Yours to explore, yours to make a home in. But maybe you had just been their safekeeper, until she came back.

Came back and stole him away from you.

“For what it’s worth”, he breathed, and you could feel his lips moving on you through the fabric of the shirt you were wearing. The shirt he had lent you the night before, when everything had been right. “We just talked. Told each other stuff we should have told each other months ago.”

You remained silent, as a tear rolled on the bridge of your nose, tickling it, before falling off the edge.

“We can talk tomorrow”, Jungkook said. “I’ll let you sleep.”

He turned on his back, and the absence of his contact tore your heart apart.

“Jungkook?” you breathed.

He didn’t say anything, waiting for you to continue.

“Please hold me.”

He let out a sound then, something that resembled a sob. A sound that made your lungs burn, as if oxygen had become toxic to you. Yet Jungkook turned, wrapping an arm around you. Pulling you in his embrace, the warmth of his body contrasting deeply with the ice in you.

You could feel his body shaking, as he cried. And Jeon Jungkook cried for a while, as he held you. As you remained stiff in his touch, not melting like you usually did.

Maybe you just wanted to be held by the boy with galaxies in his eyes one last time, before you exited his worlds. Before you let her take them again because, after all, they had always been hers.

*****

It was a cold morning, the next day. As rain fell relentlessly, in a light shower that covered the world in droplets of water, until everything was wet. Wet and sad, sogging like a dog abandoned outside. Even the tent was cold and wet. Even with the body of the man beside you.

You had been looking at him for a while, in the gray morning light. Jungkook had fallen asleep crying, last night, and his eyes were all puffed up, even with the serenity sleep had given him. You didn’t know if you had slept – most of you had just wanted to engrave the feeling of him against you in your memory.

Maybe you had dozed off, at some point, because you hadn’t realized it was raining until everything was wet, humidity clinging to your every move.

Not that you moved at all, lying there and looking at Jungkook.

You wondered what had gotten him to cry like that last night. Had it been Sena, and the conversation they had had? Because you believed him, when he said they had just talked. It wasn’t like he would have gained anything by lying.

Or was it because of the blame Jimin had thrown at him?

You didn’t want to think it had been because of you. You doubted you held a place important enough in his life to have him break down like that, when he had been the one to disappear into the night.

You imagined what Soobin would have said, if he had been there. And it was a stupid thing to do, because if Soobin had been there you never would have been with Jungkook. You never would have made a deal with the devil.

The tears you had cried last night didn’t come back. Their heaviness lingered, in the air around you. In the rain and the grayness of the world outside, but they didn’t come back.

When Jungkook woke up, his peaceful features fell into a frown. Eyes staying close, and you forced yours to move away from his face, until you were looking at his shoulder. Because you didn’t want him to know you had been staring at him like that.

Engraving his features into your heart.

His eyelids fluttered open, and he remained unmoving for a while. Gazing up at the canvas of the tent, as if it held the answers to the universe. As if he was seeing the movie of last night on there, replaying in a constant loop that had his eyes tearing up again.

He only then blinked a few times, before turning until he was facing you. You felt his gaze on you, for a long time, as neither of you spoke. As you both knew the end had come, even if you wished to hold onto the moment for a little longer.

You could hear your friends waking up outside. Complaining about the rain, saying it was a good thing you were leaving early today. And Jungkook just kept looking at you, while you stared at his chest. While you imagined his skin under the oversized dark gray shirt he was wearing.

“Good morning”, he eventually said, with a voice scrappy with sleep. Sleep and sorrow, maybe.

You met his gaze. Balked at the sight of the dim light of his galaxies. It hurt to see them now, when you knew you were going to end things.

“Morning.”

It was awkward, as you continued gazing into each other’s eyes. You wondered what Jungkook could see, in yours. If he could read you, like you had thought you could read him. But clearly you had been wrong. Oh had you been wrong.

“You look tired.”

He spoke carefully, as if they hid a different meaning, his words.

“Oh”, you let out flatly. “I didn’t really sleep.”

He looked away then, face falling on a spot on your chest. “I’m sorry.”

Was he truly sorry? It was hard to tell, when he had done what he had done on purpose. You wondered if he would have stayed, had you not run away on the beach. But you didn’t want to blame yourself. Just wanted to head home, until you could hold the plush toy Soobin had won for you at the last fair you had visited together.

“We should get up”, you whispered.

Jungkook wet his lips. Played with his piercing for a time. He looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words. Couldn’t voice the feelings inside of him.

Had he struggled like that when he had spoken to her last night?

“I’m sorry”, he repeated.

He did look apologetic. Remorseful, even, and it just made you want to punch him in the chest. Until his heart ached like yours had ached last night.

“What for?”

He didn’t really meet your gaze, though his eyes moved up until they were looking at your slightly parted lips.

“Everything.”

You scoffed, before sitting up. “Let’s just get up and help the others pack.”

“Y/n…”

You glared at him then. Glared at him with every jagged piece left in you. “Don’t say my name like that.”

He sat up too and his tattooed hand reached between you. Wiped a tear on your cheek. One you hadn’t felt slipping out of your eye, and it startled you, somehow. Because he looked at the lone tear, and his galaxies turned dark. Filled with hatred, directed at himself for what had happened last night.

You wished you could reassure him, but you didn’t have it in you. Weren’t the one that was going to comfort the boy with galaxies in his eyes anymore.

“I talked to her about you.”

The words felt like a jab to your heart, and you clenched your jaw. “Stop, Jungkook.”

“You said we could talk today.”

You scoffed, again, a bitter sound that felt like nails scraping on a chalkboard.

“You did. I just want to go home.”

He looked at you for a long time, a war in his mind and in his heart. You watched the conflict unfolding, jaw still clenched. Nails digging in your palms, as you held your hands in fists. Trying to focus on the physical pain, because you had never been good with the emotional kind.

“Okay”, he gave in. “Okay.”

You wished he had said something else. Wished he had fought for you, then. But he didn’t. Instead, he moved to the opening of the tent, unzipped it and stepped outside. Leaving you alone to pack up your stuff. And you did so, blinking back furious tears.

Jungkook came back, a moment later, zipping the flap of the tent behind him. Kneeling next to you to help you, until you were pulling on the sleeping bag he was holding.

“Let me do it”, you said, and he shook his head.

“I’m not going to let you slip away.”

You threw the sleeping bag at him. It hit his chest, before falling in front of him. Your gazes connected, saying more than words ever could. A moment later, you were crashing your lips together, meeting halfway.

Jungkook’s hands moved to your cheeks as your lips meshed together, teeth clashing in a flash of pain you ignored, as you grabbed a handful of his shirt to pull him closer. Until you were lying down with him on top of you.

Was it wrong of you to want to indulge in him one last time? Maybe it was. Terribly so, but you couldn’t stop. Jeon Jungkook and his galaxies were a drug, the beautifully intoxicating kind, that would leave you crawling, half dead, when his time in your life ended.

The kiss and his touches were hungry. Not so gentle, not like he had always been.

One last time, one last time, one last time…

The words were a litany in your mind, as he fucked you, lips never leaving yours. Mouth swallowing every little one of your sounds, as you dug your nails in the skin of his back. Leaving marks on him, for him to remember you when you’d be gone.

It was desperate, how your bodies moved together. Until you were spent, and he stayed on top of you, forehead resting against yours. He was sweaty, but so were you, and it didn’t matter anymore.

You didn’t move for a really long time, breathing in the same air. Your hands were on his waist, his delicate waist that you had loved to wrap your legs around, for the whole of your relationship. Of your deal or whatever it had been.

“Can we stay here forever?” he breathed against your lips, and you held him tighter.

You wanted to say yes. To say that time could stop for you, then, but there were too many words left unsaid, in the space between you. Words you had wanted to say, would have said had it not been for last night.

Maybe you were a coward, for dodging the conversation with him. But you weren’t sure it was worth it when the end was already written.

“Do you remember the first time we kissed?” you asked.

It wasn’t like there were many times anyway.

“In your tattoo shop?”

“We shouldn’t have kissed again after that.”

Because the kisses… they had meant too much. They had pushed you off the edge, had made you fall into him, into a man that couldn’t be reached, emotionally.

Or maybe you were the one wanting to flee. And you were. You would give anything not to have these feelings inside of you.

“I don’t regret kissing you.” He ran a hand on the side of your jaw. “I’d do it all again, no matter the outcome.”

You held him tighter, closer.

“In fact, I should have kissed you before”, he continued. “Should have kissed you every time I wanted to.”

The pain was becoming numb now. Still suffocating, still burning, but your nerves were at the end of their suffering. At the end of their lives. Because you were dying right there.

Was Soobin going to be waiting for you, on the other side?

“I’m glad you didn’t”, you breathed.

Jungkook didn’t move, didn’t seem to breathe for a time. “Why?”

“Because it’d make it harder.”

“Make what harder?”

You ran a hand on his back, following the pattern of his muscles under the skin. “Stopping this.”

He pulled away then, searching your gaze. “No.”

You smiled at him, sadly. “Jungkook, we both knew it wasn’t going to last.”

“No”, he repeated, and he looked so terrified, eyes filled with dread as his lips spread in a tight line, colors leaving his features.

“I can’t be with you.”

He moved until he was sitting next to you, and you watched him, carefully, as his features turned darker. As he looked like he was nauseous.

You had never seen a heart break like Jungkook’s heart did. As if he had assembled his pieces back the wrong way, and you had smashed the glass unforgivingly.

“Why?”

You chuckled as you sat up, bitterly. “Because it’s Sena. It’s Soobin and it’s Sena and what we did was wrong.”

“But it’s not her”, he insisted. He scanned your features, eyes a little wide. “I just needed the closure.”

Closure you’d never have with Soobin.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying, Y/n, I swear.”

You brushed a tear on your cheek. “Then you should have stayed last night.”

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have gone to Soobin, if you had had the option.”

You froze, in your spot. He couldn’t have said that, right?

“Excuse me?”

“You blame it on Sena, but it’s about Soobin, isn’t it?”

You didn’t know what to say anymore. So, you grabbed your clothes, putting them back on in quick motions, as he watched you. Cautiously, as if realizing he had said the wrong thing.

But he couldn’t take the words back.

He got dressed too, as you finished folding the sleeping bag. As you paid attention to the sounds outside, and realized that your friends were gone. All that was left was the splattering of the rain on the canvas over the tent.

“Soobin is dead”, you said once the sleeping bag was neatly folded. “Nothing is ever going to change that. I won’t ever get to have closure with him.”

“I’m sorry I said…”

“Don’t fucking be”, you interrupted. “We’re done. Let’s just go home.”

“Y/n, please…”

You avoided the shattering of his heart in his eyes, because you didn’t want him to see you break. Because you were breaking too, and it was ugly. Bloody, as the pieces cut through you.

“Let’s go home.”

“I’m sorry.”

The boy with galaxies in his eyes did look sorry, with the silver lining his gaze. But it didn’t matter anymore.

It didn’t matter anymore.

*****

Seoul felt different in the few weeks after the camping trip. City life spinning around you, leaving you dizzy, as you went to work, then went home. Only to start again the next day, avoiding your friends, avoiding your parents. Tattooing felt different, too, and you often found yourself getting lost in the lines you drew.

You thought of Soobin a lot, in the weeks that followed the camping trip. From the moment Jungkook had dropped you at your place, begging you not to end things one last time. You hadn’t budged from your decision, and he had left, slipping away from your life as if he had never been there.

You had known, when he had said it, that he was right. That it indeed was about Soobin. About the guilt you had for falling in love with someone else, when he was never going to fall in love again. But it had also been about the fact that you had been a rebound, for Jungkook. Someone to use while he was trying to forget Sena.

You were selfish, inherently so, to try to put the blame on him. But it was the only thing keeping you going, and so you did it. Found reasons to hate him more every day, to hate the ways his galaxies had felt like home, to hate the night sky and Jungkook’s gentle touches. To hate the way he had laughed with you, smiled his bunny smile to you. To hate how you had explored his worlds, imagining they were unspoiled, when she had been there before.

One thing you didn’t regret about the whole ordeal was the tattoo on the inside of your arm. The celestial body that you had permanently inked into you. It, and its slightly crooked line, where Jungkook had drawn it on your skin.

It was your favourite tattoo now. Because it wasn’t perfect, and it told a different story. A new one, that reminded you that life hadn’t stopped when Soobin had died.

That there was a whole life outside still, and that you could be a part of it now too.

You were always going to be thankful to Jungkook for that. For reminding you that there was more out there, even if you had refused to let yourself experience it for so long. But it had been red with flags, your relationship with Jungkook. From the very first time. From the moment he had refused to tell you his story.

Maybe you would have understood better, had he told you about Sena. Had he not kept her a secret, even after you had been made aware of her existence. Maybe you would have wanted to listen to him, at the end, if it hadn’t been for that.

But you were at peace with your decision. It would take a little longer before you let anyone in, but getting your heart broken by Jeon Jungkook had woken you up from a deep slumber.

You would let yourself live again, now. Soobin would want it. But it didn’t matter what Soobin wanted. Didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was what you wanted, and you wanted to experience it all. To have the butterflies of the beginning of a relationship again, to fight only to make up, to sleep and wake up with your head on someone’s chest. To listen to the beat of their heart and tell yourself it belonged to you.

You had forgotten how much you had been a hopeless romantic, before Soobin had died. Reconnecting with that part of you felt like a breath of fresh air, like you had been stuck under the ground for years and you were finally walking free, seeing the sun and the sky and feeling the wind again.

But not the night sky. No, the night sky was a ghost in your life, because it never compared to him.

It was strange, that your grief for Soobin had healed like that, after losing Jungkook. That you had stopped missing Soobin, once you had found yourself alone again. But that alone wasn’t lonely like it had been after Soobin and before Jungkook.

It was different. Maybe because you were more accepting of it, falling into that last step of your grief. You were never going to stop loving Soobin, but Jungkook had taught you that you had enough love in you for two.

There would be other people that would matter to you like that. It felt relieving, to realize that now. The weight of the universe wasn’t on your shoulders anymore, even if it weighed on your heart, at night.

But nights never lasted, and the sun always rose the next day. For now, it was all you could hold onto, as you tried to forget the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

The door to your tattoo shop dinged, and in walked Aera. She was dressed in black leather pants with combat boots, along with a red shirt that complimented her skin tone well.

It was your first time seeing her after the fall, and you only realized then how much you had missed her.

“Hey loser”, she greeted you.

You were sitting in the tattoo chair, staring at nothing in particular. Your last client had left an hour ago, and you had decided to stick around. In the hope that drunk people would come in, like Jungkook and his friends had, that night months ago.

“Hey.”

She moved closer, until she could sit next to you. “Where have you been?”

You ignored her eyes on the side of your face. “Here and there.”

She nodded, and there was a long silence between you. She was playing with something, her hands fiddling with a small gray rectangle.

“How are you?”

The question hung in the air between you.

“Better than I thought I would be”, you admitted. “How are you?”

Aera pursed her lips. “I’m doing great.”

You almost asked how Jungkook was, then. Because you knew Aera would know, now that she dated one of Jungkook’s closest friends. But the peace inhabiting you was still unsteady, and mentioning him would be too treacherous.

“Do you want to tattoo me?” she asked, all of a sudden.

Your eyes widened, and you looked at her. “What?”

“Anything you want. Just put it somewhere hidden.”

Something was wrong with the universe, if Aera wanted a tattoo.

“What’s wrong with you?” you asked.

She shrugged. “I miss my best friend.”

You pursed your lips, as an unexpected lump formed in your throat. “Aera…”

She met your gaze. “I know he hurt you, babe, but you don’t have to ghost all of us.”

You clenched your jaw, eyes falling to the floor. To the spot where you had been body painting on your thigh weeks ago. You remembered the dagger made of stars and galaxies and regretted not having taken a picture of it.

It was in that same spot that you had made your deal with Jungkook. Oh how you wished you could take it back.

“I’m just focusing on work for a while”, you said. You didn’t sound convincing at all, but it was still the truth. You hadn’t been ghosting anyone on purpose.

“Well, good thing I’m here to get a tattoo.”

“Is that why you brought a USB stick?”

Her eyes fell to the rectangle in her hands. “Oh, that?” She shook her head. “No, that’s something I need your opinion of, but I’ll show you after the tattoo.”

The corners of your lips tugged upwards. It was a smirk, a hint of mischief moving in your gaze. “Do you want a butterfly?”

“I’m not letting you tattoo me like Park Jae-eon”, she said, laughing lightly. “But what about a snake like yours?”

That made you think about another snake tattoo, that you had traced with your fingers so many times you knew its pattern by heart now. But you pushed the feeling aside: you wouldn’t lose the opportunity to win a bet against Aera.

And she made you laugh, as you tattooed her, as she whined that it hurt. As she told you she wasn’t sadistic enough to get another tattoo, but that she was happy to be spending time with you. And you laughed when you refused her payment, telling her that it was a gift. A matching tattoo, like the matching ring you had.

The one you hadn’t taken off since she had given it to you on that camping trip. A camping trip that held so many good memories, along with the bad ones.

The tattoo you inked on Aera was pretty. A little smaller than yours. A fine line tattoo, that formed a s on her hip, right where yours was too. She looked at it in awe for a long time, after the conversation had died down.

“I can’t believe I let you tattoo me on an impulse thought”, she said before letting out a laugh sounding like disbelief. “My parents are going to kill you.”

“Just remind them that you’re going to be a surgeon and they’ll let you off the hook.”

She winked at you. “Very good point.”

You laughed before putting your head on her shoulder. “I’m glad you came here. I was getting bored.”

“You should have texted me”, she said, a little reproachfully. “I tried to give you space because I know how you are… but it’s hard when you even push me away.”

Your heart ached in your chest, just a little. “I promise I wasn’t pushing you away. It’s just…” you trailed off, shrugging your shoulders.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear it but…”

“Then don’t say it”, you interjected before she had time to finish her sentence. “Don’t tell me.”

“Y/n…” She sent you a reproachful look, the same kind of look your mother used to give you when she was disappointed with your grades in school.

You held her gaze, before cowardly looking away. “What is it?”

“What do you think happened that night?”

You knew what she was referring to without needing for her to tell you.

You shrugged, hands fiddling in your lap. “Nothing, probably. I don’t think they slept together.”

“He’s been a mess.”

It broke your heart, and your hands tightened in fists. “That’s his problem. It was my birthday, and he went and did that.”

“I know, it was a dick move. But it’s hard to ignore the fact that he’s hurt too.”

“Whose side are you on?” you asked defensively, sliding away from Aera.

You met her eyes again, folding your arms on your chest.

“I’m not on anyone’s side” she admitted. “I think you both are hurt, and if I didn’t know Jungkook I’d tell you to never talk to him again. I… I’m actually telling you to never talk to him again, because he was a dick. But at the same time…” she paused, collecting her thoughts. “At the same time I’m telling you you might want to give this a listen.”

You cocked an eyebrow in your confusion, until your eyes fell to the USB stick she was holding up in the air between you two.

“What is that?”

“I stole it from Eunwoo”, she admitted. “Jungkook wrote a song about you.”

Your heart stopped in your chest, until it started again on a painful beat.

“What the fuck?”

She nodded, slowly. “I thought so too, but then I actually listened to it. I think you’ll either love it or hate it, but you deserve to hear it.”

“He’s not going to release it?”

She shook her head. “Eunwoo said Jungkook writes songs as therapy. So, I guess he cared a lot about you and he just needed to let the feelings out.”

You still didn’t take the USB stick. “Is the song good?”

“Give it a listen and tell me yourself.”

You were pretty sure you didn’t want to do that, but you still grabbed the stick.

It took you days to find the courage to listen. Days that you spent hanging out with Aera, outside of work, telling her you hadn’t listened yet. Telling her you weren’t sure you would. She didn’t push, knowing that it was a decision you had to make yourself.

No matter that she knew the contents of the song.

The last days of August came, summer inching closer to its ending. It was still hot outside, humid, like summer didn’t want to let go of the world yet, with its storms and rains and anticyclones. Seoul felt heavy, yet as September approached, you found yourself missing Jungkook.

You couldn’t help but remember that his birthday was on the first of September. That just a few weeks ago, you had spent your own birthday in his company – and absence. And maybe that was why you found yourself plugging the USB stick into your laptop, late on August 31st. Just a few minutes before it’d give way to September, and to Jungkook’s birthday.

There was a single audio file on the USB stick. Titled The Stars in her Eyes. The name of it struck you, and filled your gaze with tears.

Had he seen stars in your eyes, the way you had seen galaxies in his?

Your hand was shaking, when you double-clicked on the file, waiting for it to open. And when it did, the first piano chords filling the air of your room had you pausing, heart beating out of your chest.

It couldn’t be real. Jungkook couldn’t have written a song about you. About the stupid business deal you had made, that had just led to you breaking his heart, and yours at the same time. To him breaking your heart too, because you had both been emotionally unavailable.

You grabbed your Bluetooth earbuds, hands trembling even more as you put them in your ears, before making sure they were connected to your computer. And before you pressed play again, your eyes moved to his shirt you still had. The one he had lent you that Friday night, before the whole shitshow. He hadn’t asked for it back, and you had selfishly stuffed it in your duffel bag, before you had left the camping.

You hadn’t put it back on since then. Had only needed a reminder that Jungkook had been real, other than that crooked line in your Saturn tattoo. It felt fitting to put it on now, when you were getting ready to listen to what Jungkook had composed about you.

You got up from your bed, moving to the chair where the shirt was, before grabbing it. You caressed the fabric for a time, missing the moment when it had been on Jungkook, and your eyes filled with tears.

You missed the boy with galaxies in his eyes more than you had wanted to let yourself believe. You put the shirt on, body craving the warmth of Jungkook’s arms instead, but this would have to do.

Only then did you walk back to your bed, lying down on it before pressing play on the computer.

Piano chords filled your ears, a beautiful and sad melody that had your heart squeezing in your chest. That had your breathing itching in your throat, as you waited for Jungkook’s voice to meet your ears.

You had never realized how pretty his voice was. Well, you knew it was. But there was something a whole lot prettier about it, when he was singing about you.

Can I ask you a favor?

You knew her, well before I did

Were her eyes always filled with stars

When she was with you back then?

You pressed pause. Because your heart had stopped, and you wished you could die. Die instead of hearing Jungkook’s voice singing what he was singing.

He was talking to Soobin. You started crying then, hitting play and letting the rest of the song unfold.

Do you know she still seeks for you?

She looks up at the sky

And I think she’s looking for you

Did you love the stars in her eyes too?

Falling in love isn’t so easy

When you fall for someone

Someone whose heart belongs to another

Do you still love the stars in her eyes?

Mistakes and closure

They don’t mesh well together

I thought I wanted one thing

But I sought the wrong one

Ended up losing the stars in her eyes

Can’t really look at the night sky anymore

Falling in love isn’t so easy

I fell for someone who belongs to you

Her heart is a never-ending maze

Of night skies and the stars in her eyes

There was a long instrumental part after that that had you sobbing as Jungkook’s voice echoed in your mind. You imagined him talking to Soobin then. The two men you had ever loved, standing face to face.

Heartbreak had never felt so real.

The music receded, yet there still was almost a minute left to the song. You sucked in a breath, holding in your sobs as Jungkook’s voice came back.

Can I ask you a favor?

Can you let me take care of her?

I promise I’ll hold her through the darkness

Let me protect the stars in her eyes

For you

You listened to the song many times. Until you thought you knew it by heart, until you could see Jungkook asking Soobin. Until you could imagine Soobin replying. Though you couldn’t hear what Soobin would say. No, all you could hear was the blood rushing to your ears.

You didn’t know if you liked the song. It felt wrong to hear Jungkook say all of that. The words had never been yours to hear. Had been his to put away, until your story was but lyrics on a page, lyrics in the mic of his studio.

Yet you found yourself growing angry. Embarrassed, somewhat, that he had written all of that. That he knew about your deepest trauma, and that he had made it into a song. You didn’t need him to take care of you. You thought it was paternalistic that Jungkook was asking Soobin to let him take care of you. As if it was Soobin’s decision, and not your own.

Your feet carried you out before you knew where you were going. In a blinding fit of rage, or hurt. You weren’t quite sure. All you knew was that the song kept playing in your mind, the lyrics overlapping until their echo made you crazy, until all you wanted to do was to scream in Jungkook’s face that he had been wrong.

Wrong to seek closure with his ex when you had finally decided to open up your heart to him. Wrong for using the small time you had had together to be with her, to talk to her and do whatever else that they had done.

Probably nothing, because Jeon Jungkook was not a liar. And still, he had been with her for hours, between midnight and dawn. While you had partied the night away with his friends, with your friends, trying not to think about him.

Trying to ignore the fact that he had chosen to be with her, on the day of your birthday.

You hated him for deciding to write a song about Soobin. As if he deserved to speak to Soobin, after everything that you had done together.

You were in front of Jungkook’s door before you even realized it. Well past midnight, yet a long time before dawn. You felt stupid, standing there. Not having knocked yet, because what if he wasn’t home? What if he was out and about, on this night before his birthday? Worse, what if he had some company over, someone that he was using like he had been using you once?

You didn’t care. You needed to tell him he was wrong, for writing that song. For thinking Soobin would grant him a favor, or whatever the fuck it was that Jungkook wanted.

You knocked. A little too hard, and the sound was loud in the silence of the night. Loud with echoes, though you were pretty sure the echoes were only in your head, made to haunt and taunt you as the door didn’t open.

You stayed there for a really long time. Knocking a few times, hoping to wake him up. Because God knew how much of a heavy sleeper Jungkook was.

You cursed yourself, for choosing to come in the middle of the night. For letting your impulsivity get the best of you. You turned around, and were about to walk away when you noticed the figure standing there, and you let out a screech as you startled.

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asked, hands lost in his pockets, top of his face hidden under a black bucket hat.

“You scared the shit out of me”, you said as you put your hand on your chest to calm the wild beats of your heart. “What are you doing out in the middle of the night?”

He tilted his head to the side, a frown moving on his features. “What are you doing out in the middle of the night?”

You gulped. Looked down at the floor as you realized how stupid this was. Who cared about a dumb song? Especially one that you hadn’t been meant to hear anyway.

Why had Aera thought it was a good idea to get you to listen to it?

“Happy birthday”, you said. Sheepishly, your eyes finding they were cowards, so much so that they couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t find the galaxies in his gaze.

Would he see stars in your eyes, if you looked at him then?

Jungkook didn’t reply for a while, watching you carefully. As if he didn’t quite believe that you were standing right there in front of him.

“I just came back from the studio”, he said. “Did a Vlive for my birthday.”

You nodded, slowly. “I’m sure… your fans were happy to see you.”

He nodded, and silence fell around you again. “Do you want to come in?” he asked, after that silence had stretched into an eternity.

Maybe he had sensed that you had more to say. That you had a whole storm inside of your head and heart, and that it was threatening to overcome your senses and your rationality. That it was threatening to explode right here in the middle of the hallway.

“Yeah”, you said. “Sure.”

It was weird, being in Jungkook’s apartment in that context. You had always been there to sleep with him before, not to have a heart-to-heart.

Not to tell him he was a dick for using your story like that.

“What are you really here for?” he asked as he moved in.

You followed him, watching him as he threw his keys on the kitchen counter. Inhaling the smell of his essential oil diffusers, eyes diverging to the mattress in one corner of the room, next to a gaming setup.

“I heard the song”, you said.

He froze, with his back half-turned to you. With his hand halfway to the handle of his fridge. He froze like a statue, and for a moment you wondered if you were Medusa and had turned him to rock.

“Who the fuck showed you the song?” he asked. Growled, with a low angry voice that had your blood still in your veins for a time.

“It doesn’t matter”, you said. You folded your arms on your chest. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“You weren’t supposed to hear the song.”

He turned towards you, and you balked at the burning rage in his eyes.

“Then why did you write it?” You paused, cocking an eyebrow. “Why did you take the time to record it, and add music to it?”

His tongue pushed on the inside of his cheek, and he let out a bitter chuckle. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“You used my story to write a fucking song, I think you have plenty of explanations to give.”

He turned back around, throwing the fridge door open so hard it had glass bottles clinking inside of it. He grabbed water, before slamming the door shut.

“I wanted to talk to you twice before and you refused.” He opened the water bottle, took a long swig of it, eyes never leaving yours. “I don’t owe you any explanations whatsoever.”

“Everything always has to go your way, huh? You can’t accept that the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

His eyes widened, and he put the water bottle down, hard enough for the liquid to spill out of it.

“Excuse me?”

“You decided to start to fuck me because you were lonely or something, and you didn’t give a shit what I wanted. And then you disappear like that, on the night of my birthday?”

He scoffed, shaking his head slowly. “You were not my girlfriend. I owed nothing to you.” He paused, letting out a frustrated sigh. “Besides, nothing happened with Sena. She needed to talk about some stuff, and so did I. Nothing more.”

“You’re aware that it’s hard to believe you?”

He took a step towards you, then seemed to reconsider, and he leaned against the counter. “I don’t fucking care what you believe, it still is the truth.”

An angry Jeon Jungkook was an ugly sight to see. With a vein bulging on his forehead, a red flush to his neck and cheeks, and a harsh look on his face.

“Okay then, so what if it is? It was my birthday, Jeon. It sucked that you left like that.”

He shrugged, taking a deep breath. As if he was trying to calm down, not wanting to fight with you anyway. “I’m aware that it did. It’s not like I can change it anyway.”

He was right. No amount of fighting would ever change the past.

“Are you done now?” he asked.

Your eyes widened, and you let out a bitter chuckle. “Done? That still doesn’t justify the song.”

“Who cares about the song, I won’t ever release it.” He looked away from you, clenching his jaw. “I wrote it the day we came back. And you should know by now that I don’t do things halfway, so I recorded it and all.”

“You can’t use other people’s stories like that”, you said.

With a smaller voice, because you wished you had never come. Wished you had let Jeon Jungkook and his galaxies slip from your life without embarrassing yourself like you were right now.

“Got it, won’t do it again”, he said. There was a long silence, and then he scoffed again, shaking his head. “Thing is, it became my story too.”

“Are you so selfish you can’t accept that not everything is about you?”

It was cruel, the way you said the words. The way you used them to stab into his heart, the heart you had already hurt once. The heart he had hurt himself, too.

He had tears in his eyes when he met your gaze then. “It became my story too the day I fell in love with you.”

You widened your gaze and let out a small laugh. A nervous laugh, that felt completely out of place in the heated argument.

“You don’t get to tell me you fell in love with me”, you snapped. “You don’t get to pretend you cared about me when you ran back to her like a good little dog.”

“We”, he said. “Just. Talked. Nothing fucking happened. Maybe if I didn’t care about you something would have. I haven’t fucked another girl ever since I saw you that first night. How can you be so oblivious?”

Because you didn’t want him to love you. Didn’t want to face the fact that he had fallen too. That you both had fallen, and yet had chosen to fall apart.

Well, you had chosen to fall apart. He had begged you, that day. Not to go and leave him. But you still had.

“Don’t love me, Jungkook, it’s not worth it.”

He held your gaze. Jaw still clenched, eyes still far colder than they had ever been. “I think you know more than anyone that you can’t control your feelings. You don’t get to decide when you fall in love with someone.”

“But you can’t love me, Jungkook! You wanted to fuck me, and that was it.”

“Until it wasn’t anymore.” His eyes fell shut, and a tear rolled down his cheek. “You were there that Friday night. You knew what it felt like.”

“It felt like you were going to break my heart.”

He took a few steps towards you, with a dark look taking over his features. As if he wanted to shake some sense into you.

“You’re the one that decided to end things”, he spat in your face. “You’re the one that didn’t even want to listen to me when I was ready.”

“You were ready only because you were emotional about your ex.”

“Stop always bringing Sena up.” He took off his bucket hat, throwing it towards the pile of laundry on the kitchen table. He then ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “You were emotional about Soobin too. Did it stop you from kissing me like you did?”

It didn’t. He was right. It hadn’t stopped you at all. It had opened your heart for him more than anything else could have.

“I waited for you, Jungkook. I waited for you all night.” You bit into your lip as a sob threatened to move to the surface. His eyes dipped to your lips, and he dried the tears that had moved on his cheeks.

“I apologized many times already.”

“Did you mean it?”

He didn’t say anything for a long time. As if you doubting him hurt too much, for him to want to reassure you that he had indeed meant it. As if he was done, tired and exhausted, and just wanted you to leave.

“You know I meant it. I mean every word I say.”

You nodded, slowly, as all the fight went out of you. As all you wanted was to leave and put as much distance as you could between him and you.

“Alright.” You sighed, shutting your eyes for a moment before looking at him again. “I guess I’ll go then.”

“You’re just going to leave like that again? What do you fucking want me to do?” He took a step closer, and he was now towering over you. “What do I need to fucking do to make you stay?”

You tilted your head back, so you could look him in the eye. And your heart stopped in your chest, right before you grabbed his cheeks, and pulled him down in a kiss.

He crashed his lips against yours, and he tasted salty, from his tears. You imagined you tasted salty too, though you didn’t really remember if you had cried. His lips moved against yours, harshly, hungrily, and he pushed you back until he had lodged you between his hard body and the wall. He grabbed your hands from his cheeks, pulling them over your head as you kissed, tongues meeting halfway.

You sucked on his tongue and he moaned, a low sound that erased every thought in your head. He held your hands up with one hand, bringing the tattooed one down until he was holding the side of your neck, thumb brushing your jaw.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” he asked, cautiously.

As if afraid you’d slip away again, after the deed was done.

“Kiss me, if you want to make me stay. Make me forget my name.”

He obeyed, bringing his lips to yours again. Surprisingly, this kiss was slower, sweeter, as if he didn’t want to scare you away. It was more like him, that gentleness, and it made you melt into his touch.

“I’ll kiss you all night, then”, he breathed against your lips.

You nodded, just a little, and then the passion resumed, with him sucking on your bottom lip as he ran his hand down your frame, settling it on your hip. You clenched and unclenched your fingers a few times, itching to be touching him too, but his other hand still held them firmly above your head.

Your tongues swirled together, as he deepened the kiss, tilting his head to the side. He breathed out shakily, warm breath tickling your face, and he finally let go of your wrists. Your hands immediately fell to his hair, and you tangled them in his curls, pulling at the strands just a little. Just how you knew he liked it.

Jungkook grabbed your face with his two hands for a time as you kept on kissing, barely even stopping long enough for you to breathe. Air seemed optional, in the passion between you two, passion raised by weeks spent apart, by weeks thinking you had lost the other.

And the conversation wasn’t over, the fight wasn’t resolved, but you needed to feel him first, before you were ready to finish the heart-to-heart.

Jungkook pulled you up in his embrace, wrapping your legs around his delicate waist, before pushing you back against the wall. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Getting lost in him again.

Finally coming home.

He sucked on your bottom lip again and you moaned in the kiss. It made him chuckle, and he pulled away to rest his forehead against yours.

“What else do you want me to do?” he asked.

It left you confused for a time, until you remembered the question he had uttered, right before you had pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck me like you fucked me that Friday night.”

“You know I wasn’t fucking you.”

Needing to hear him say it, you whispered, “What was it, then?”

He pecked your lips once. “I made love to you.”

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips. “Did you?”

He nodded, pecking your mouth once again.

“And I’ll do it again tonight”, he added. “And tomorrow, and every day after that.”

You ran your fingers through his hair again. “You won’t ever let me leave, mmh?”

It was said teasingly, but his reply wasn’t. His reply was serious, more serious than you had ever heard him be. “No. I won’t.”

It filled you with warmth, and you pulled him into another kiss. He smiled against you, and your heart swelled in your chest.

Gone was the anger. All you could feel was the feelings you had been trying to silence. They were loud as bombs today, and you weren’t going to silence them anymore. Wouldn’t be able to.

Jungkook put his hands on your ass, to hold you up, as he pulled away from the kiss. He took a few hesitant steps towards the corner of the room, the one with the mattress, and a moment later he was lowering your body to the floor, resting you on the soft cushions.

He pulled away for a moment, as he kneeled between your legs. He sat back on his heels, drinking in the sight of you. Running a loving hand up your arm, until he found the Saturn tattoo. He traced it with a gentle finger, smiling as his eyes scanned it.

“What’s your favourite tattoo?” he asked.

He had asked that question to you once. Yet the answer had changed. You still loved the dagger and the rose, but there was something in the Saturn tattoo, something that felt just right.

“That one”, you said, looking down at the planet he was tracing.

He bent down, until his lips brushed the skin where the ink decorated your arm. “It’s my favourite too.”

“Why?” you found yourself asking.

He shrugged, lips moving to your neck. You sucked in a breath as he pressed wet kisses up the column of your throat, before moving to the spot below your ear. “Because I helped to put it on your skin. Makes me feel important.”

“You are important, Jeon Jungkook.”

His lips brushed your earlobe as he spoke. “I am important when I’m with you.”

It was cheesy, the way he said it, yet you only pulled him closer.

Jungkook grinded into you, as he kissed your jaw, and then moved back to your mouth. He kissed you for a moment, before making you sit up so he could take off your shirt – his shirt – and the t-shirt under it. You weren’t wearing a bra, and he moved down to your breast, sucking on your nipples, worshipping every inch of your skin until you were tingling with sensitivity.

He only then went even more south, pulling your pants down your legs until you were just in your panties, under his careful eyes. Panties that you were already soaking up, as heat pooled between your legs.

“You’re so beautiful”, he breathed. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

You didn’t know if you were ready to say you were his, yet the words made heat blossom on your cheeks. “Jungkook…”

He took off his shirt, and your eyes moved to his tattoos. To the ink that covered all of his right arm, beautiful art that felt like home too, even if it wasn’t your art.

But it wasn’t the arm that you noticed the most that night. It was his eyes. They seemed like they were shining with new lights, with new stars and galaxies, as if the nebulas had given birth to new worlds. Worlds that were meant just for you, as he made love to you slowly, gaze never leaving yours. Worlds that you explored gladly, while he explored the stars in your own eyes.

Jungkook had the prettiest eyes you had ever seen. And you never wanted to look away. Wanted to fly in the outer space of his gaze.

He made love to you for a long time. Far longer than he had that Friday night, as if he had more love to give. And maybe he did. Maybe the fear of losing you had made him love you all the more, like it had for you. Because the way you felt for him now… it was different. Stronger, more sure, as if the truth of the universe was finally yours to know.

And when you were done, after that first time, you moved to his room. Took a long shower, with him washing you and you washing him. It was intimate, homey, and made you want to stay forever under the warm water with him.

It was only when you were in his bed, head on his shoulder, that you spoke again.

“If we really do this”, you breathed, as you traced circles on his chest. “If we really try being together, there can’t be any more secrets between us.”

“Never. You’ll be the first I’ll tell everything to”, he promised, kissing the top of your head.

“Tell me about Sena, then.”

You didn’t stop drawing circles, and it took him a moment before he spoke.

“We dated from when I was sixteen to the middle of last year”, he admitted. “I met her in high school.” That much you knew. “We broke up because we didn’t want the same thing anymore.” He paused, before taking a deep breath. “She actually… she broke up with me for someone else. Someone that was more present for her, and that could give her what she wanted.”

“I’m sorry”, you breathed.

“It’s fine”, he reassured you. “It really hurt at first, but then I realized that I had stopped loving her for a long time. And...” He swallowed, and you could almost hear him gulp. “And it’s not like she cheated. She ended things with me long before they started dating. He was just a friend we had in common.”

You could imagine that Jungkook and the guy weren’t friends anymore.

“They got engaged, though”, he admitted. “They’ve been moving really quickly, and it’s made me realize that she had been wanting that for a long time.”

You didn’t say anything, just focusing on the circles you were drawing on his skin.

“Getting married, I mean”, he specified. “I never had plans to get married someday, or to have children.”

Neither had you. You were more of a live-in-the-moment person, and you had stopped thinking about the future, when your future had been taken from you all those years ago. But tonight wasn’t about Soobin, so you didn’t let him invade your thoughts. Wouldn’t let him invade your thoughts like he used to once more.

“Is that something that you want?” he asked, taking you by surprise. “Getting married?”

You thought about the answer for a while. “Not particularly”, you eventually said. “I’m not opposed to the idea, but I don’t see myself getting married or having children anytime soon. It’s not really something I feel like I need to have to feel complete.”

He kissed your head again, letting out a small happy laugh that had a large smile move on your lips. “Then we are good.”

It was your turn to laugh. “What would you have said if I said I wanted it?”

“I’d have said that I’ll give you everything you want”, he said, not even hesitating a little.

You swallowed the unexpected lump that formed in your throat. “You’d marry me?”

You felt him nod more than you saw him.

“I’d marry you and put babies into your belly until you burst, if that’s what you wanted.” He held you tighter for a time. “I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for you.”

You couldn’t really say the same. Because your feelings for Soobin hadn’t had the chance to evolve more than what they had been at first. You couldn’t know if they would have lingered, or turned into something else, something less. Attachment, maybe, because you had been together for a while, but not love anymore. You couldn’t know what would have happened.

All you knew was that you were fully at peace with the past, now.

“Way to make me feel important”, you chose to say.

He chuckled. “You are the most important girl in the world.” He put his hand above yours, where you were drawing circles on his skin. “But, not going to lie, that tickles.”

You giggled, before pushing yourself up. Just enough to look him in the eyes. To fall into his galaxies, something you knew you would want to do for the rest of your life. Because the love you had for him, it wasn’t something you could walk away from.

And maybe that was what it had been, at the very beginning. The attraction you had both had for the other… maybe it hadn’t been physical after all. Maybe it had been far stronger, made of the same thing that connects atoms together. Because your souls… maybe your souls had always been meant to be together.

Yet, a little bit of insecurity moved through you. He must have seen it, because he brushed your hair over your shoulder, before cupping your cheek lovingly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I know you already said it many times”, you replied. Falling silent for a time. “But what really happened with Sena that night?”

His thumb started brushing your cheek, as his eyes lost their focus on you while he replayed the memories in his mind. “She wanted to apologize for being with Hyunoh. Uh, Hyunoh is the friend we had in common.” He wet his lips. “But yeah, she wanted to apologize. To make sure I was fine now. And we talked about the past a lot, about where we went wrong. And then she asked me who you were. You, Aera and Minchae. I told her about you and told her I was afraid to fall in love.”

There was silver lining his gaze again.

“She said that I deserved to let you in like that. That my eyes shone when I spoke of you and that it showed I was already in love. Then she called me an idiot for not spending the evening with you, on your birthday. Said we could have met somewhere to grab a coffee and talk instead of doing it there.”

Sena wasn’t at all the bitch you had thought she was. Just an ex-lover that had cared about Jungkook deeply. Enough to want him to love again, to know he deserved to be loved again.

Because Jeon Jungkook deserved all the love in the world.

“We also spoke of our families”, he continued. “Her dad was sick when we broke up. He’s currently in remission from cancer. And uh…” Jungkook trailed off, as if he tried to remember. “I think it was mostly all that. And then she shooed me away and told me that I needed to tell you how I feel.”

He paused, meeting your gaze again.

“That’s what I wanted to tell you, when I came back. But then I saw Jimin-ie and I realized just how bad I fucked up.”

You smiled, softly, before brushing the tears out of his eyes. “It’s okay now”, you breathed.

He smiled too, breathing in shakily. “I’m so lucky it is.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you, you know”, you added. “I should have listened to you. But I was hurt.”

“I know”, he reassured you. “It’s okay now.”

The echo of your words brought another smile to your lips.

You gazed at each other for a time, until you put your head back on his chest.

“Is there something else you’d like to know?” he enquired, after having pressed a small kiss on the top of your head.

You thought about it for a moment, and your mind headed straight to that second night you had met. To the moment you had realized he had covered-up tattoos. And even though you already knew, sort of, you found yourself asking, “Did you get cover-up tattoos to hide some that made you think of her?”

“Yes”, he replied after a few beats of silence. “I covered up the tattoos I got because she said they were pretty, or her favourite. My favourite was the eye.”

He showed you where the Bulletproof was on his arm now.

“We had drawn it together, and then brought it to a tattoo artist. She chickened out before getting it too, but yeah… that’s the only one I regret covering up.”

You could imagine how bitter and sad he had to be when he had decided to cover up the tattoos. It made you think of the tattoo on your ribs, the one Soobin had inked into your skin.

“You know my rose and dagger tattoo?” you let out in the silence that followed Jungkook’s statement.

“Yeah?”

“Soobin tattooed it on me. I couldn’t look at it for almost a year after.”

Jungkook’s arm tightened around you. “And yet you didn’t get it covered up?”

You shook your head no. “I wanted to keep a piece of him.”

“I can understand. Maybe I should have kept the eye”, he said. “She was sad, when she saw I didn’t have it anymore.”

“And how did it make you feel that she was sad?”

He remained silent for so long you almost thought he hadn’t heard the question. “It was satisfying, sort of. I’m a bad person, aren’t I?”

You chuckled. “You are not. You are human is what you are. I love that about you.”

“Oh, so you love some stuff about me”, he teased, and it made you giggle lightly.

“Shut up.”

He chuckled, before pressing yet another kiss on the top of your head.

“To be fair, I love a lot of things about you”, he admitted. “Your eyes, for example.”

The stars in her eyes.

The lyrics of his song replayed in your mind, and you sniffled a little, as tears moved in your gaze once more.

“You want to know something funny?” you said through the emotions. It made your voice shake a little and Jungkook pulled away, until you were lying on the pillow instead of his chest and he could get a good look at your face.

“Why are you crying?”

“Do you know you have galaxies in your eyes?” you asked. “That’s the first thing I noticed about you.”

“You… what?”

“Your eyes always shine like you have galaxies in them”, you tried to explain, and a tear rolled on your cheek.

He dried it gently. “And you have stars in yours.”

You smiled warmly. “I can’t believe you say that. Like…” You chuckled then, and it brought a lovesick smile to his own lips. “We are so cheesy.”

He kissed your forehead. “I can do cheesy.”

So could you.

Another silence, as Jungkook lay back next to you, facing you, arm wrapping around your waist while you rested your hand flat on his chest. You gazed at his eyes. They were yours now. Yours to keep and protect from the atrocities of the world. It made you think of his song again, and perhaps there was another thing you needed to tell him, before you let yourself fall asleep.

“Soobin would be happy, that you are in my life”, you breathed. “I think he’s the one that sent you to me.” It made Jungkook cry, and you dried his tears gently, like he had dried yours just a moment ago. “And also”, you added before you could stop yourself. “When I look up at the night sky, I think of you. Not of him.”

“Do you?”

You nodded. “Your eyes are made of the night sky, what else could I think of?”

“Stop it”, he said, chuckling lightly, as his tears receded.

“I’m serious.”

He pressed another kiss to your forehead, and a slight blush moved to your cheeks.

“I love when you do that”, you admitted.

“I know.” He did it again, before pulling away. “That’s why I’ll do it every day until we’re old and gray and you don’t like me anymore.”

“You think I like you?” you teased, rolling your eyes.

He pinched your side, and you yelped.

“Shut up, loser”, he said, and you shared a laugh, until you fell into silence.

“I do”, you said after a time. “In case you were wondering.”

“You what?”

“I do like you”, you specified. “At times I even think I’m falling in love with you.”

He let out an exaggerated sigh. “Phew. Otherwise it would have been embarrassing.”

“What would have been?”

He smiled, fondly, eyes crinkling at the corners. Eyes filled with even more galaxies and worlds and warmth, every one of them yours.

“Telling you I love you.”

“I love you too”, you immediately said. “I… I love you too, Jungkook.”

He gently brushed your cheek. “I know.” He smiled, with that warm smile of his that had his galaxies dancing in his eyes. “And before I let you go to sleep, there’s one more thing I need to tell you.”

You smiled, nodding your head.

“I promise I won’t do anything that might make you uncomfortable again. I was scared when I started falling for you, and then Sena reappeared and it messed up with my head. I won’t ever do that again.” He fell silent for a time, but your heart didn’t fill with dread. No, there was no place for dread when each beat echoed with love. “You’re the one I want to go to when I feel troubled. From now on and for the rest of my life.”

The warmth in your chest blossomed into a whole new universe. “I promise I’ll always listen, when you need to talk. Even if I’m tired, or if I’m angry at you. If you need to talk, I’ll be there for you. Always. I want to be with you the right way.”

Happy tears filled his gaze. “Me too, Y/n. Me too.”

Your eyes fluttered closed, as he pressed the lightest kiss on your lips. And then on your two cheeks, before landing the gentlest one on your forehead. He lingered there, for a long time, and your heart felt complete. Felt like you owned your own little universe, and maybe you did. Maybe you did and it was all in Jungkook’s gaze, in his worlds and galaxies and nebulas.

He pressed another gentle kiss on your forehead, before resting his head back on the pillow. You kept your eyes closed, smiling softly, as he started to draw lines with his thumb on the side of your face, with that gentle touch of his.

Such a gentle touch, for the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

*****

From my place between worlds, I see her. For the first time in years, she is smiling, a smile that lights up the stars in her eyes. So when you ask for a favor, all I have to say is yes. Yes, love her, like I would have loved her if life had been different. Love her until the sun no longer shines, and until the ocean goes dry. And know that finally, finally I can go in peace, knowing that you are there by her side.

I will always love her, but it is your turn now.

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Words cannot describe how heavy my heart feels after writing all of this. After posting it on here to share with all of you guys. This story means the world to me, and I hope you loved it, the way I loved creating it. This couple will forever have a special place in my heart <3

Let me know what you thought of the story. Feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated, and keep me motivated to continue writing stories like this one!

Love you all, and don’t hesitate to send me a message if you need to talk <3

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

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@chimchimmarie

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