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#juke gnocchi
kayleerowena · 1 year
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bust yr kneecaps
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glassgob · 1 year
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i usually dont share sketchy wips like this but its a chunky one- coronation crabs lineup 🦀
[Image ID: Digital sketch of the Baltimore Crabs lineup separated into three images. The players are facing forward and drawn in relaxed standing or seated poses. From left to right: Star Ali, Avery Cascabel, Vaquita Magno, Tiera Wigdoubt, Flattery Strewnberry, Tiara Loveless, Juke Gnocchi, Lenjamin Lin, and Charlatan Seabright. End ID.]
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elifinchsart · 1 year
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Juke Gnocchi of the Baltimore Crabs.
Design based on harlequin swimming crabs. Beach clowns are a well of untapped potential I think.
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haunthouse · 1 year
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new crabs guy just dropped
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orbleglorb · 1 year
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textposts as blaseball players
all art by sky, taken from the miniblaseball site
photos below the cut (because there's a lot of them) along with image ids :)
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ID: textpost from sawtual that has been edited to be about/from jessica telephone. it says "im sick to death of the girlboss phenomenom. appreciate strugglewomen or we'll never get anything done around here. no more 'she's the only braincell of the group'. i want more women who fail at tasks that are unimaginable to fail at. we need more pathetic wet meow meows who are women. literally open your heart to strugglewomen because they're all we have left in this fucked up world." /end ID
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ID: textpost from lizardsister that says "bad news fellas, just got word from the boss, he says no more kissing each other on the job." the san francisco lovers logo has been edited on. the logo was designed by Lucacrafts on twitter. /end ID
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ID: textpost by ainti-pretty that has been edited to be from thomas dracena. the post says "garlic is the most evil fucking thing on planet earth. that and silver." ainti-pretty reblogged their post with a screenshot of someone else's tag that says "how do you feel about sunlight btw just curious," and ainti-pretty says "not that it's any of your business, but it hurts real bad :(" /end ID
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ID: a conversation between firefox-official and lunasilverpelt, edited to be a conversation between val hitherto and stijn strongbody, respectively. the post says firefox-official: "this user just stole a priceless piece of art." lunasilverpelt: "Is there something you want to tell the police?" firefox-official: "This user has nothing he wants to tell the police." /end ID
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ID: pukicho answering an ask from fxcelesslunar, edited to be socks maybe answering an ask from tillman henderson. the ask says "why does your description say lovable?" and the response says "look at me!!!!" /end ID
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ID: a post from jame7t edited to be about ankle halifax and ivy mason (aka wyatt mason IV). the post says, "hey girl do you want to hang out later and hit me as hard as you can with a baseball bat?" /end ID
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ID: a post from memorycycle that says "(honk at pretty lady on the sidewalk) hey :smirking emoji: wanna see me drive straight into that brick wall?" below the original post is a note added by me (orbleglorb) that says "she doesn't have a mini, but this would be juke gnocchi if he could drive." /end ID
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ID: a post from puplov that has been edited to be from parker macmillan prime. the post says "when i was bornt i came outta my mom sizzling like a fajita." /end ID
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ID: a post from wizard-council-bureaucrat that has been edited to be from manu candle. the post says "the cure to your bloodline curse (dehydration) is this one fucked up magical potion trick (8oz of water)." the tags say "your ancestors were also dehydrated, they just died about it tho." /end ID.
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RIV Chae DeShields
This player was on the crabs since last season, their first ever season. Welcome Juke Gnocchi.
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for the making up lore post: juke gnocchi
oh juke my beloved. i subscribe to a lot of the community lore we came up with for juke that one night where everyone was just riffing on the idea of "mobster who sucks at his job" for like 5 hours but specifically my internal thots on juke are:
short kinda greasy hair that he wears slicked back, think like nic cage in moonstruck
lives in the tiny apartments over vaccaros with parker and they can't stand each other
plays bocce ball on the little italy courts and sucks at it but has been adopted by like 5 nonnas who kick her ass at bocce ball weekly and try to set him up with their grandkids
wears a lot of wide-legged pants and suspenders, is trying to singlehandedly bring suspenders back
shockingly a good cook but gets injured in stupid ways in the kitchen constantly
once tried to slice up garlic real thin with a razorblade like in goodfellas and had to go to patient first
can't drive a car. gets around via city bus and (badly) on a bike that gets stolen like once every 2 months. tried to learn how to skateboard once and gave up after 15 minutes of falling on his face
has a degree in communications
has a free indefinite membership to the aquarium due to accidentally saving a board member's life in a complex comedy of errors involving a poisonous frog, a box of cannoli, and the baltimore book festival
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thebaltimorecrab · 1 year
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crying screaming sobbing curled into a ball on the floor etc etc etc
Juke propaganda: fuck it im adding something. failgirlboy mobster my beloved. guy who takes a hostage onto the city bus because he doesn't have a car. guy who spends the majority of the time she is supposed to be on base flirting with the atlantis georgias (hahaha sleeping with the fishes joke). guy who regularly gets his ass kicked by grannies in games of bocce ball. guy who lets someone go mid-fight because she saw a rare bird and needed to show his friends on the forums. i also have a lot of insane juke gnocchi lore i haven't shared because it's. yeah. insane.
Declan propaganda: FUCK IT IM ADDING SOMETHING HERE TOO!!! with my own lore tidbits. tgirl who is usually seen as an accessory to tillman and mike and now that they're gone she has to learn how to be her own person. her back is permanently fucked up because of an accident from when she was in the circus (pre-blaseball) and the rest of her joints are fucked up because of hypermobility. and yet she still plays blaseball in a wheelchair with flames painted on the side. she has known nothing but abandonment throughout her life, and that trend does not seem to be stopping anytime soon.
If you want Declan propaganda from a far more mainstream/popular IRM, here's this (check tags) and this (even if you don't want it you should look at it).
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salthien · 1 year
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CRAB DOWN! CHAE DESHIELDS IS INCINERATED
Replaced by Juke Gnocchi.
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patimbeau · 6 years
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Christmas Vacation 2017-2018, part 5
Rome day 9!
Boxing Day! … or St. Stephen’s Day! (which means everything is closed!)
Sylvain and I decided to take an easy day. Sahra and her parents went to the Vatican, I’d seen enough of it, and so we ventured around the neighbourhood. We came upon an amazing little café called “Café Gourmet”. They served us a cheese plate with some sort of dark brown honey, and what I can only describe as the best lasagna I’ve ever had in my life. It had zucchini in it and I didn’t even care.
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We then jumped on the metro to go into town where we walked around the gardens of the Galleria Nazionale d'Arte Antica. Quite a lovely place. My highlight was being able to pet a friendly stray. Made me miss my kitties quite a bit.
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We then grabbed the metro back and just happened to get on the same metro as Jess and Peter, before going back to the apartment for beer, wine and dinner. Hung out with Sylvain a bit before saying good-bye. It was nice to see him.
 Rome/Tuscany – Day 10
This was a day of highs and lows.
We packed up our bags and took a taxi to the rental car dealership. Our plan was to drive to Greve in Chianti, for a four day stay.
High/Low #1 – They only had a Nissan Juke (totally fine) and what I can only describe as a black bus. A seven person van. Need I remind you that we were in Italy – land of crazy drivers and narrow roads. The bus (as it shall forever be known) was covered in dents. Shocking.
We left Rome (which was horrifying…never drive in Rome, one-way streets are merely a suggestion) and hit the highway to Greve – although not before an impromptu stop at a natural hot springs.
High/Low #2 – The hot springs were gorgeous. Milky blue water that was warm as a bath. Although we had not planned the stop at the hot springs, so we had no towels and we had not chanced. And it was pouring rain. And everything smelled of sulfur. Oh well. It was so warm… Sahra and I went up one of the rapids into a calm pool to wait for the others who had to changed…well I thought was a calm pool. Sahra got swept away into the next pool and “rescued” by an English woman and her Italian boyfriend. We chatted with them a bit – she was a yoga healer, she said. And then she stood up, and we learned she was very naked, and so was her boyfriend.  They said they weren’t nudists but invited us to also get naked, you know, for the freedom of it. I personally appreciated the layer of material between my personal areas and the rock. She decided she was cold and they left as the others joined us. After what seemed like a very long soak, we ran back to the cars, drenched and stinky (ugh, sulfur…rotten eggs). We tried to get changed as best as we could and hit the road.
High/Low #3 – driving in Tuscany is all narrow, winding roads full of hairpin turns and switchbacks, up hills and down again. The “high” was the fun company that Sahra and Peter were…the low was everything else. It was dark. It was pouring rain. The roads were bumpy. It was terrifying.
We made it. Grève in Chianti.
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Then we went for dinner. For Sahra and I, it was the first real food we had seen. I had had a “vegetarian” sandwich at a gas station (two pieces of white bread, no crust, with a thin layer of salsa), and Sahra had had chips. We were famished. Luckily, La Cantina, the place we went for diner, was fantastic. Great pizza, great pasta, and hilarious server (“Which wine would you recommend?” “The one with my face on it.”)
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We walked back to the hotel and after a shower (ewww..sulfur smell still!) we fell asleep.
Greve Day 11
My back was killing me. Sahra was feeling ill. We tapped out and did nothing all day.
The biggest two excursions were to the Co-Op for pasta to cook for dinner, and for a late walk after dinner. It’s a cute town.
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I’m going back to bed now.
Grève - Day 12
Intense back pain again. I argued with a laundry machine then hung dry the things that had been in the “dryer”. 
Took pain meds and slept. Woke up for a few hours and played Stardew Valley (a farming simulator). Felt peckish and as the others were having a chicken dinner and Sahra wasn’t hungry, I decided to go for a walk.
Feeling uncreative, I went to the restaurant where I had been the night before : La Cantina.
I told the waiter, who spoke english, “No wine for me, I’m going to take pain meds.” So he brought me Proseco. I ordered a Robillita Tuscan soup with some bread and a light salad. It was exactly what I needed. Just hearty, healthy soup. Yum. Then I ordered an espresso - so he brought me San Vinto (desert wine) and a brownie and a small slice of pie...then the coffee. Italians, man.
I went back to the house and crashed. My back was NOT happy.
Grève/Chiocchio/Prato - Day 13
My back started feeling a bit better, so I joined Sahra and her mom on an excursion to the local market. The square had been transformed into a mix of flea market and farmer’s market. Clothes, food and tourist junk everywhere. Then came a text from Sahra’s father : we had to get back to the house immediately, we were being kicked out because of a screw up with the booking.
We rushed up and quickly packed, searched for a hotel that was available and headed out of town. We decided to stop in Chiocchio, a small town where Sahra and her family had previously been. They were welcomed with open arms, hugs all around for the family from the Italian man at Locanda Il Gallo, a lovely restaurant. What was going to be coffee turned into one of the best meals of my life : toast with roast artichoke, other toast with cheese and sundried tomato, followed by truffle topped fresh gnocchi (light as air) in a cream sauce, then crème caramel and macchiato. I was so stuffed I didn’t eat until the next morning.
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We waved goodbye and went off to Florence – well Prato, the suburbs where we had booked our hotel. It was next to a mall, so we decided to go see what a mall in Florence is like. Turns out, pretty much like one in North America, except you can have beer and walk your dogs inside (so many dogs). I didn’t recognize most of the stores (except Wind mobile…so weird), and H&M which is where I lost Sahra and her sister for awhile. They booked an appointment to do their nails, so I called it an early night and headed back to the hotel to read a book and get some rest.
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orbleglorb · 7 months
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hi o/ the blaseball zine jam is over! i did several pieces for different zines over the course of the jam. here's the zines i contributed to:
make it blaseball (blaseball aus of other things) - i did a blaseball crossover with the magnus archives. i noticed like 4 grammatical errors and typos after submitting this but it's fine. that's what i get for working on it in the wee hours of the morning and not proofreading
the big blaseball activity book - i did a discipline era crossword :3 however i completely forgot to save the answer key. sorry
how to say goodbye - goodbye, sim!
scraps from the zine room floor - some pieces i didn't get to finish, or finished pieces for zines that didn't happen
blaseball is a horror game - i wrote season 9 day x. it's not about the shieves vs. pods. sorry to disappoint
all players have been released - i wrote pieces for nanci grackle, khulan kebede, juke gnocchi, and rivers rosa
seven hour sprint - a personal zine i started and finished in the last 7 hours of the jam. tw for descriptions of inpatient mental health treatment
have fun! :3
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orbleglorb · 1 year
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whenever i post like, relationship prompts and stuff, i typically don't get any asks. which is fine, i usually save them for character building and prompts anyway. but it's occurred to me that i don't actually talk about ships that much? other than like, tagging random posts as megparker. and the early stages of The Ship Bracket. so you guys just may not know?? lmao??? so here's a collection of blb ships i like ig
i don't actually dislike any blb ships, but these are the ones i do like and actively think about
romantic:
megan ito/parker macmillan (in the most dysfunctional way possible)
megan ito/clare ballard (also in the most dysfunctional way possible)
lenjamin lin/flattery strewnberry
tillman henderson/declan suzanne/mike townsend/jaylen hotdogfingers
any of tillman/declan/mike/jaylen in groups of two or three, doesn't have to be all together :) i've probably thought about declan/mike the most, tho
alaynabella hollywood/jessica telephone
alaynabella hollywood/jacob haynes/moses mason
conditional yuniesky/chester abu-zaid
grollis zephyr/qais dogwalker
sevgi gore/bees gorczyca
parker macmillan iii/wyatt mason
chet takahashi/jacob haynes
wyatt mason IV (ivy)/ankle halifax
platonic:
megan ito & parker macmillan (there's so much happening here)
parker macmillan & sutton dreamy
parker macmillan & mordecai kingbird
parker macmillan & stevenson heat
parker macmillan & most of the s23/24 fridays, actually
parker macmillan & declan suzanne
declan suzanne & charlatan seabright
star ali & avery cascabel
vaquita magno & lenjamin lin
tiara loveless & parker macmillan
parker macmillan & DD (not a player)
conditional yuniesky & ivy mason
ivy mason & ankle halifax & tahini poinsettia
bees gorczyca & margarito nava
rivers rosa & conditional yuniesky
rivers rosa & declan suzanne
tbh. i have a lot and if i listed them all we'd be here 5ever.
familial
parker macmillan & lenjamin lin
terrell bradley & conditional yuniesky
terrell bradley & all of the spies (that's my dad!)
tbh. conditional yuniesky & ivy mason
sevgi gore & mindy khan
ENEMIES!!!!!
parker macmillan & juke gnocchi
i'm sure this will come as a shock to all of you. but megan ito/parker macmillan
also megan ito/clare ballard
there's something going on here. not sure what
............megan ito/parker macmillan
reese clark & margarito nava
terrell bradley & rivers javier
anyway feel free to ask about these ^_^ might make an oc one as well
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orbleglorb · 1 year
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i chose these characters because
i wanted all contestants to be known by the fanbase, at least a little bit. so more "unpopular" characters that may be more fight-able have been left out
have at least a bit of a "heel" personality, on twitter, in the wiki, or in a fanfic i have read
have traits that could make them unlikable aside from being a heel
i just wanted to see if anyone would willingly fight them
none of the characters match all of this criteria but they all match at least 1 (i tried to get them all be somewhat known, but im sure people are going to look at a couple of these and go "who?")
tillman henderson was left out because that's the obvious answer
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thebaltimorecrab · 1 year
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Round 2 notable moments + Round 3 matches (with links)
Before I get to notable moments, I'd like to take a second to recognize some of our most beloved contestants: Bentley Finnegan, Kaz Fiasco, Bevan Underbuck, and Finn James. Throughout both rounds, they have received the most propaganda (or the most memorable propaganda). Thank you to the three people who are consistently posting propaganda for these guys. And thank you to those posting propaganda for the players who are not on this list!
Now, notable Round 2 moments:
There were no major upsets this round. In fact, most of the rounds ended like I expected them to, mostly because a lot of the unlored shadows were included in this round.
Although there were no real upsets, Flattery Strewnberry beating Holden Stanton was unexpected, especially since the only other new epoch Crabs players that have made it to Round 3 are well known: Tiera Wigdoubt, Declan Suzanne, and Juke Gnocchi (perhaps not well-known outside of the Crabs, though). I'm absolutely thrilled, because Flattery is one of my little guys. However, she's gonna get her ass kicked this round. She's up against Trinity Smaht.
The closest call was Nico Sigh vs. Robbins Schmidt. Nico won 46.7% of the vote, while Robbins won 53.3%
There were several polls where one player got 100% of the vote. Combs D got 100% of the vote against Alexandria Hess, Parker Parra got 100% against Uncle Plasma II, Sutton Dreamy got 100% against James Mora II, Lorcan Smaht got 100% against Javier Howe, Finn James got 100% against Vaquita Magno, and Kennedy Loser got 100% against Uncle Plasma III.
And, of course, Round 3 matches are below the cut. Links will be added sometime after the polls are posted. The polls are scheduled to be posted around 1:30 pm CST. This post is also scheduled! I may not be online when you are reading this :P
Now that a lot of the lesser-known characters have been eliminated, it's going to be much more interesting:
Combs Duende vs. PolkaDot Patterson
Luis Acevedo vs. Nagomi McDaniel
Fish Summer vs. Silvaire Roadhouse
Logan Horseman vs. Pedro Davids
Axel Campbell vs. Bentley Finnegan
Parker Parra vs. Brock Forbes
Evelton McBlase II vs. Tiera Wigdoubt
Kaz Fiasco vs. Valentine Games
Trinity Smaht vs. Flattery Strewnberry
Juke Gnocchi vs. Declan Suzanne (GOING INSANE OVER THIS ONE. THESE R MY GUYS :( HOW DARE I PIT TWO BAD BITCHES AGAINST EACH OTHER)
Bevan Underbuck vs. Adalberto Tosser
Sutton Dreamy vs. Oliver Notarobot
Lorcan Smaht vs. Grapefruit Walnut
Forrest Best vs. Finn James
Jon Halifax vs. Robbins Schmidt
Brisket Friendo vs. Kennedy Loser
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orbleglorb · 1 year
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⛔ 🙋‍♀️🍦
i should probably give a link to my ao3 page at some point
⛔️: Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?
i have so, so, so many.
Michael Afton x Male Reader because there was a specific fic i read that i thought i could do better. never finished it. this was from a couple of years ago
Spies babysitting Mindy Salad's kids, inspired by a conversation in the Spies server a while back. i hope to retry this.
a blaseball oc fic that i started without the intention of finishing. it was just something i started to work on characterization
a conversation between Uncle Plasma and Parker MacMillan in the Vault. decided it was too edgy to post, even tho i was almost finished
a Sevgi Gore/Bees Gorczyca fic i have scrapped twice. im restarting it for the third time, and so far so good!
Juke Gnocchi dealing with psychosis and Parker MacMillan dealing with it in the general vicinity of Juke. a self-indulgent thing i started because i was Going Thru It but i just never finished the fic. decided to move it to my DNF folder, but i may pick it back up again.
Alayanabella Hollywood/Jessica Telephone fic i wrote 2 sentences for then never touched again. again, moved it to my DNF folder, but i hope to pick it back up again. i really think it would work better as a comic, but i really suck at making comics!
tilldec fluff thingy that kinda sucked ngl. cool concept but i hated it when i read it back
mike/tillman/declan thingy i also started and hated
yeah, only 1 of those is not related to blaseball. lol.
🙋‍♀️: Do you know any people IRL that write fanfic?
Yes! it's typically for fandoms i am not in, though. i don't know my irl friends' tumblr or ao3 accounts, and they don't know mine (except for sophia. hi, sophia, if you're spotting me out in the wild again). but anyway, we don't follow each other lol
🍦: What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?
i have a really sweet idea for a fic that i haven't written yet </3
as of right now, my sweetest fic is either the one about Parker and the Crabs bonding (im still in the process of writing it, it'll be a while before it's posted or anything), or a tillsend one that's actually like super fucking cringey now that i look at it. it's posted to an old account i no longer use
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thebaltimorecrab · 1 year
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ANNOUNCEMENT + Round 1 notable moments, and the matches for Round 2
HEY! If you reblog a post with propaganda, please let me know if you want me to copy and paste that propaganda into any other matches including that player. For example: if you wrote a post encouraging people to vote for Jon Halifax, let me know if you would like for me to include your statements in Halifax's next match.
If you would like to submit propaganda, you can do so via asks, tagging me, reblogging a specific poll, etc.
I will try to ask people individually, but that's a lot of work and I've already got quite a bit on my plate, aside from the brackets.
Now, notable moments (in my opinion):
Tillman Henderson got out in the first round, proving there is a God and he is merciful. Tillman lost to Logan Horseman.
I think (I'm like 95% sure) that Oliver Notarobot beating Reese Clark was the biggest upset so far. On a scale of 1-90, with 1 being least likely to win and 90 being the opposite, Oliver was 42 and Reese was 87.
Kaz Fiasco beat Chorby Soul, which was probably the match with the most propaganda (including both actual posts and tags that say "VOTE X")
Juke Gnocchi, an incin replacement we got in Season 2, got farther than Parker MacMillan did. Considering that they're roommates/enemies, this is hilarious to me.
Brisket Friendo vs. Tot Fox was the closest match, with Brisket at 50.8% and Tot at 49.2%
Meanwhile, Monique Flowchart vs. Silvaire Roadhouse had the biggest difference between votes, with Monique at 11.1% and Silvaire at 88.9%
Now, here's the round two matches. LINKS WILL BE ADDED AFTER THE POLLS ARE POSTED. The polls are currently scheduled to post at 1:30 pm on the 15th, but who knows when I'll be able to sit down and add links.
Alexandria Hess vs. Combs Duende
Amos Melon vs. PolkaDot Patterson
Grit Watson vs. Luis Acevedo
Ilhan Latch vs. Nagomi McDaniel
Joyner Rugrat vs. Fish Summer
Jacoby Podcast vs. Silvaire Roadhouse
Avery Cascabel vs. Logan Horseman
Herring Winfield vs. Pedro Davids
Matheo Tanaka vs. Axel Campbell
Chorby Soul III vs. Bentley Finnegan
Uncle Plasma II vs. Parker Parra
Chae DeShields vs. Brock Forbes
Miguel Peterson vs. Evelton McBlase II
Lenjamin Lin vs. Tiera Wigdoubt
Aldon Cashmoney IV vs. Kaz Fiasco
New Megan Ito II vs. Valentine Games
Elijah Glover vs. Trinity Smaht
Holden Stanton vs. Flattery Strewnberry
Conner Haley vs. Bevan Underbuck
Scruffs Sunkcost vs. Adalberto Tosser
Thomas Marsh vs. Juke Gnocchi
Star Ali vs. Declan Suzanne
James Mora II vs. Sutton Dreamy
Rosa Holloway vs. Oliver Notarobot
Javier Howe vs. Lorcan Smaht
Grapefruit Walnut vs. Michelle Sportsman
Özlem Suttner vs. Forrest Best
Vaquita Magno vs. Finn James
Pierre Haley vs. Jon Halifax
Nico Sigh vs. Robbins Schmidt
Samothes Dembélé vs. Brisket Friendo
Uncle Plasma III vs. Kennedy Loser
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