#jacquesme | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lesbian-in-leather · 1 year

Note

Esmé loses her voice. Georgina’s feelings. lazy mornings, interrupted. 👀👀

Ah! Excellent choices!!! (Here is the link to the title list in case anyone wants to send more)

Esmé Loses Her Voice

Okay so I do genuinely love this concept BUT also I don't think it'll ever get finished. It was in fact this very fic that make me realise I am apparently incapable of writing fun / silly stories because the entire concept was just "Esmé loses her voice and, being Esmé, makes it everyone else's problem" with a healthy helping of Eswell content for the funsies. And yet. I could barely exceed 250 words. I just- I don't know how to go on from here. So the snippet below the cut is literally everything I've got

P.S. if anyone can teach me how to write silly stories, I would be immensely and eternally grateful. I think they're so neat

Georgina's Feelings

Another Eswell one!! I started this months ago and honestly completely forgot about it until writing out that title list, but I do genuinely want to finish it because it's FUN. Basically, Esmé and Georgina have an established arrangement, and the entire fic is just Georgina resolutely Not Having Romantic Feelings for Esmé despite... the obvious. Very fun times. The snippet for this one is also everything I've got, but it's split into two sections - a paragraph from very near the start, and the ending of the whole thing (separated by one of these — bad boys for ease of reading)

Lazy Mornings, Interrupted

I would like to say that I am very impressed that, in a list of 20 titles, you managed to pick the three shortest WIPs in my collection, by quite a significant margin. I know I've already answered some of the others, but still. Anyway, once again this one has barely anything to it at the moment, though I do thoroughly intend to finish it, and the snippet is once again literally everything I have so far. This is the one and only Jacquesmé fic I've ever attempted (though I do want to write more of them, because their dynamic fascinates me), and the snippet I've included is from towards the end of the fic. Basically, Jacques and Esmé have been casually seeing each other for some time, but have hidden it from the rest of the sugar bowl gen because, even though the schism hasn't officially happened yet, tensions are rising between the two future-sides. Also Esmé and Lemony have always hated each other, and her dating his brother would cause unnecessary drama. However, this fic takes place when Lemony comes back to the shared Snicket apartment one morning when he and Kit were both supposed to be away, and Esmé has spent the night. He almost catches her there, and after he leaves, she and Jacques have a conversation about the future of their relationship, ending with the snippet below the cut (though I would still like to add some more to the end of it as well just to round out the fic better. If I ever do finish it, that is)

Esmé Loses Her Voice:

Esmé was pouting. This wasn’t at all an unusual occurrence in and of itself; in fact, it was her go-to expression of displeasure. What was unusual was that she’d been pouting silently, for the last forty-five minutes – something that was entirely out of character, and entirely out of her control if she wanted to have her voice back for the imminent auction she’d been asked to not only attend, but to host. Something Georgina had been hearing about, non-stop, for the last six months.

Safe to say, this weekend had promised a welcome break.

Until Esmé had actually arrived, of course. Georgina often insisted that she despised her lover’s endless chatter, rolling her eyes and feigning disinterest – but she was well aware that it was, at least in part, an act. The truth was, Esmé’s voice could make anything sound interesting, no matter how tedious the topic, and Georgina was rapidly discovering just how silent her home could be in the absence of that strangely entrancing voice. When she was alone, she relished the silence. But somehow, knowing Esmé was present and wanted to talk made it feel almost… oppressive.

She looked up from her desk and found that Esmé’s pout was now directed at her, and entirely failed to stifle her smile (mostly because she didn’t actually try to). For a woman that could strike fear and awe into the hearts of half the City, she shouldn’t have been able to look so… well. So adorable.

“Yes, sweetheart? Did you say something?” the pout turned into a full blown glare, and Georgina laughed.

Georgina's Feelings:

Georgina swirled the rather unnatural-looking cocktail in her glass and watched as it sparkled in the orange-tinted lights of the ballroom, pointedly refusing to look up when Esmé’s laugh cut through the general murmur of music and conversation. Her ears, however, were clearly not as well trained as her other senses, and focused in on the sound of her lover’s voice, headless of the distance between them. Her mind conjured up melodic comparisons, conjuring quotes from half-forgotten poems she’d read in her youth. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know her mind began, unbidden, reciting a sonnet she had been particularly enamoured with as a young girl, that music hath a far more pleasing sound. She realised Esmé was looking at her before she could draw the next line out of her hazy memory – and around the same time her mind finally registered that she was looking at Esmé. And had been for some time, judging by the self-satisfied smile playing across the other woman’s lips. This is why you don’t drink at parties. She chastised herself for her lack of self-control, even as she allowed her eyes to wander over Esmé’s body, barely concealed by her dress. Perhaps there are some advantages to these parties, she mused.

—

Georgina had always thought ‘love’ to be a ridiculous word, and a pointless emotion. Love is what makes the strong weak and the intelligent foolish. Love is what inspires rash decisions and impossible promises. Love is how other people get to you, creating a crack in Georgina’s otherwise ironclad defences. Love is what she has spent a great deal of her life avoiding, crushing into a tiny metaphorical bottle and tucking away deep in the recesses of her heart. Love is an emotion for lesser people, she is certain. So what she feels for Esmé Squalor is not love.

It can’t be.

Lazy Mornings, Interrupted:

“Mmm… well, luckily, I happen to be very,” she squeezed her thighs around his hips, rocking against him once to emphasise the word, and his knuckles whitened as he gripped her waist even tighter, “close with the fashion columnist for The Daily Punctilio, and I have it on very good authority that he’s planning on taking his incredibly stylish girlfriend to that exact location this very evening.”

“Girlfriend?”

“That’s what I’ve heard.” Her voice was deliberately neutral and she shrugged one shoulder as she said it, the picture of a casual statement. Even if it was the first time either of them had defined their relationship – and he really could call it a relationship now, because the infamously commitment-avoidant Esmé Squalor had deigned to describe herself as his girlfriend.

Jacques couldn’t contain his smile, even as he tried to play along with her game. “And I’m sure, since he’s taking his stylish and beautiful girlfriend,” and he was almost certain he wasn’t imagining the way she relaxed a little against him as he said it, or just how natural the word felt on his tongue, “to this restaurant, it should be appearing in this morning’s edition of his column, just so everyone else in the City is caught up with just how In it is, yes?”

“Precisely.”

#asoue #eswell #jacquesme #gray zelle #WIP titles #the lesbian herself #i had almost finished answering this when tumblr decided to just. fuckin delete it all #FUCK YOU tumblr #s o m a n y w o r d s #GONE #i am really glad you sent this ask though #because i love rambling about my WIPs #and i thought no one was going to send any more #so thank you!!!

4 notes · View notes

blurryfaace · 3 months

Note

wow what did the jacquesmes guy do for you to be so hateful on main

Jaq get off anon lmao be a good wife to me or ur not getting that eu passport

0 notes

beatricebidelaire · 6 years

Text

unpopular opinion but jacques/esme is actually a pretty underrated and intriguing ship and probably the only m/f jacques ship i’m interested in. like, jacques/esme complicates jacques’ character in a way other ships rarely could. though jacques/olaf was a firefighter/firestarter ship too but the jacques in that relationship is just kind of misguided (about what kind of person olaf was) and overly optimistic and probably nostalgic about their past teenage fling and guilty over his friends’ involvement in olaf’s parents murder. that makes him misguidedly thinks olaf was still redeemable and makes me want to scream about how he’s going to get killed by his optimism one day wait he already did and while i enjoyed that, i think jacques/esme has more potential in a different side of jacques. esme didn’t canonically have the opera night parents’ drama like olaf did and seemed to just enjoy being in which makes the writer has to give jacques a reason that he would want to get involved with esme, a side of her he knew that nobody else did and that adds more backstories to both characters. idk i just want him to have some unseen side or be a little more problematic than the all-too-noble volunteer he seemed to be. like we did see how he absolutely believed in vfd’s child recruiting thing despite all the problematic-ness of it (wth is the correct noun here) and i appreciate the show for showing that but i really want more

(tho i do think jacques/bertrand would be interesting in different ways like “both as poster child of vfd perfect volunteer but nothing’s as simple as it seems” kind of way, and jacques/jerome is pretty nice too)

(but just .... jacques/esme)

#asoue #jacques snicket #esme squalor #jacquesme #vera.txt #i might've been slightly biased ever since i read that iconic jacquesme fic but whatever

24 notes · View notes

hellowhatisnewposts · 3 years

Link

Tesla Owner Billed over $14,000 for Accidental Full Self-Driving Purchase 38 by jacquesm |

#Blogger

0 notes

foggymoonstudentme · 3 years

Link

Tesla Owner Billed over $14,000 for Accidental Full Self-Driving Purchase 26 by jacquesm | 12 comments on Hacker News.

#Blogger

0 notes

channelhour · 4 years

Text

New top story on Hacker News: Hard Disk Hacking

Hard Disk Hacking 21 by jacquesm | 1 comments from Blogger http://newshou03r.blogspot.com/2020/07/new-top-story-on-hacker-news-hard-disk.html

#Blogger

0 notes

outsidetheknow · 4 years

Text

New top story on Hacker News: I Was Tortured for Days Thanks to Bruce Jessen and James Mitchell

I Was Tortured for Days Thanks to Bruce Jessen and James Mitchell 3 by jacquesm | 0 comments on Hacker News.

View On WordPress

#Hacker News jacquesm I Was Tortured for Days Thanks to Bruce Jessen and James Mitchell https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22125766

0 notes

xpwewarchive · 4 years

Text

XPWEW Xtreme Rumble 2020 (4-26-2020)

XPWEW Xtreme Rumble 2020 April 26th 2020 Denver, Colorado Denver Coliseum

SHOW OPENS WITH PYROTECHNICS

We are introduced to tonight’s commentary team of Kaitlyn Khaos and Nick Simmonds and they run down the card and explain the importance that is the Xtreme Rumble match and it gives the winner a golden ticket to be in the main event of the biggest event in XPWEW history: Lockdown 7 on May 23rd, 2020 in the platinum shimmering city of Dubai on the waterfront now let’s kick it over to James Westerbeck at ringside bell rings

James Westerbeck: The following contest is a TABLES MATCH! The rules of this contest are You must put you opponent through a table!

Joe Gacy enters holding both tag team titles (Commentary explains how this match came to be, When Solomon Nasty appeared plucked from nowhere and wanted to be Joe Gacy’s tag team champion partner despite not impressing Gacy for the last month on Friday Night Pyro and now the ultimate challenge awaits Soloman, Gacy’s favorite matchup. A tables match.

Solomon Nasty enters

Tables Match 1 on 1 M1: Joe Gacy defeats Solomon Nasty

General Manager Romeo Roselli enters and walks down to ringside turns the corner and walks up to the timekeeper and grabs both Tag Team Titles. Gacy looks perplexed and a bit heated.

Romeo Roselli: Joe it’s been 30 days since Brodie Croyle was injured and you were asked at my discretion I’ll admit, you were unable to find a tag team partner so I am going to be stripping you of the XPWEW Tag Team Championships! (Crowd yells)

Gacy: Why.....Why...Where are the articles of confederation when you need them (shuffling trying to grab the belts tucked in Romeo’s left arm)

Romeo: But Joe I’m not leaving you in the dark. As successful and Plagueground was for the past 6 months that era must come to an end, pending injury and inability to find a replacement but Joe. I’m a fair GM. You are in line for these belts, That’s right Joe I’m making you the Number One Contender! BUT I took the liberty upon myself to find you a replacement because since YOU can’t seem to do that. I did it for you. So meet your new tag team partner

Audrey Carbine enters

((Joe Gacy blows the hair out of his face kinda groaning at the thought of Audrey being his new tag team partner))

((Joe Gacy jerks the mic out of Romeo’s hand))

Joe Gacy: THIS? She’s a woman, She’s weak, She’s vulnerable and to me, a wrestler who has applied his craft all over the world!! This is an insult To me and No, No I will

((Audrey Carbine power walks right up to Gacy’s face))

Audrey Carbine: “Shut up Pussy” (crowd ooohs))

Audrey Carbine: “I was a highly ranked official in the American Army for 8 years and I served four tours in iRaq while you sat on your ass playing Modern Warfare (crowd oohs again) I’m not too excited on being your partner myself but I’ve been itching for a fight since I got here and you’ve just been itching for relevancy Joe admit it (crowd oohs) The Tag Team division in xpwew is weak and that’s one trait that I’m not. So you’re either gonna hate me or you’re gonna tolerate me but together we’re gonna be The Death Machines

Joe Gacy: “Audrey, you .....I gotta singles career to focus tonight in the Xtreme Rumble” (crowd reacts mixed)

Backstage Segment: Troy Clausen standing with two unnamed women (just pretty faces to spin the tumbler) Troy Clausen: Ladies tonight my son Champagne Clausen is going to be entering at the number 29 right? Lol yeah we’ll See I hired this other guy named (gibberish)

The Set walks in (Myron, Kotto and Jordan) Jordan: “Woahhh T-Roy Clausen Whatup Dogg Troy: “Vibin’ pimps, Vibin’” Jordan: Myron? Myron: Yessir! Jordan: Tonight is one of them special nights you know cause look at the probability Me, You, Kotto, Ruckus we got 4 chances of winning this whole shit and turning Lockdown to SetDown Kotto: Aha! I mean how they gon’ act when young Kotto Brazil pull up and win the rumble you feel me, I see the hate tho I love it love (The Set all joking around) Jordan:

(((Jacques Dudley waltzes in and just goes straight to picking his number and before he’s about to leave))) Jordan: Oh look who it is, Croissant Dudley LOL you grabbing another number for D-Von (The Set snickering) Jacques: Hmm Nice joke Ellen, You giving away a car next? Jordan: Man Shut your punk ass up before I slap you around in that ring tonight Busta ((Myron and Kotto react to their numbers with a “Meh so so” reaction)) Myron and Kotto: What you got J? What you got? Jordan: ((((I don’t know,,,Nah nah nah Jacques you trade me?)))) Jacques: ppfft trades numbers (((Both open at the same time)) Jacques reacts “WOW Thanks Jordan, see ya out there Jordan: (under his breath: Pfft Fuck outta my face) Myron and Kotto looking over his shoulder Jordan opens up his number ((Myron and Kotto start looking at each other )))( Jordan: Maaaaan this whole shit whack man what damn number he then then? Man shit The Set walks away Tumbler Girl #1: Wow what number did he get? Troy: 4 Tumbler Girl #2: How do you know? Troy: Magic

Jacques Dudley enters

Jordan Oliver enters with Siaka Lexoni

XPWEW Juniorweight Championship 1 on 1 M2: Jordan Oliver def. Jacques Dudley

After one hellacious closing back and forth of reversals Jordan turning Jacquesms spinwill armdrag into a tombstone piledriver for the 1-2-3 and Jordan Oliver is still the xpwew Juniorweight champion

Backstage Segment:

Garrett Thompson and Ethan Bedlam are in their reading their numbers and Slayer walks in with Rosemary and Lotus

Troy: Not gonna speak Slayer Slayer: looks at Troy and leaves

Leonard McGraw enters bumping Slayer’s shoulder intentionally Leonard: Is something funny? Garrett: Yeah as a matter of fact it is, Look at you walking in here lookin bloody ridiculous with that stupid hat Leonard: You don’t like my hat? Garrett: Well quite frankly Leo its a bit worn out it looks like a damn travesty, What is that a fish hook? You are one putrid Longfellow Leonard: I like to fish. I like to hunt. I like Wayne Newton. Is that a problem? Garrett: I don’t care what you do in your spare time living in a trailer park Leonard: Garrett Thompson you big sum bitch. I said I like to hunt. I don’t play games. You are game. You, Ethan Bustass over there you’re game. Y’all some bucks to me. 10 pointer and he’s bout a 4 pointer. I’m looking for ya out there in the rumble and I’m taking your sorry ass out of misery because it’s open season on the xpwew locker room and I’m fixing to cook something to eat. Now Garrett what’s so funny....... Leonard and Garrett lock eyes ((Garrett walks away)) ((Leonard McGraw grabs a number and winks at the tumbler girls) Leonard: Now What the fuck we got going on, Are any good numbers left Stretch? Troy: Gotta be something Leonard Leonard: Ah shit ima just dig down in the bottom and grab two of these here and let you pretty ladies pick one of em’ which one darling? ((Tumbler Girl #2 picks the left)) Leonard: “Oh sweet Jesus this better be a good one. If it’s bout 25 I’ll kiss ya on the lips let me see ((Opens number) Leonard: Fuck! Godamnit to hell. (Leonard locks the number back up and throws it back in the tumbler) (Leonard storms off) Troy looks pissed he ruined the sanctity of this rumble

Brutus The Barber Beefcake enters with a staff worker pushing the chair and barber shop utensils down to ringside

James Westerbeck: The following contest is for the xpwew women’s championship and it will be contested in a Hair Match The winner of this match will shave the loser’s hair bald

Prisiclla Kelly enters

Kiera Hogan with Brian Lee enters

XPWEW World Women’s Championship Hair vs Hair 1 on 1 M3: Prisiclla Kelly defeats Kiera Hogan

AND NEW!!!!! Xpwew Women’s Champion Prisiclla Kelly!

After the match Brian Lee tries to grab Kiera and escape but Priscilla is able to rub him down and grab the kendo stick used against her earlier in the match and whack Brian Lee at the knees then repeatedly whack him across the back until he pleas up the ramp

Brutus The Barber Beefcake secures Kiera Hogan at ringside who’s kicking and screaming to squirm her way out of this Prisiclla taunts with Brutus’ shears and then cuts a huge chunk of Kiera’s weave The Prisiclla takes her time cutting big chunks with small scissors for a while (((Is Kiera Hogan crying?))) Prisiclla then takes the heavy duty hair clippers and does a streak down the middle of Kiera’s head and we now see scalp of the former women’s champ ((Kiera screaming)) Prisiclla then quickly keeps going over and over until Kiera is left bald

Priscilla grabs her title and laughs up the ramp

Brutus let’s Kiera go Kiera is sobbing uncontrollably and doing a fit at ringside and during her rage she grabs a hold of Nick Simmonds shirt and says “This is your fa-ha ha ha hault”

Ad: Golden Bryce BANG Energy

Ad: Lockdown 7 is 27 days away

We swing it back to commentary and Kaitlyn Khaos reviews what we’ve seen tonight from Joe Gacy being stripped of the tag team titles and Audrey Carbine being appointed by GM Romeo Roselli as his new partner then we seen Jordan Oliver and Jacques Dudley tear the house down and we just witness Kiera Hogan being humiliated by Prisiclla Kelly as she lost her title then was shaved BALD and coming up next to world heavyweight champion Golden Bryce just has one more hurdle to cross and he will be going into Lockdown for the 2nd year in a row as world champion

VIDEO PACKAGE : All Man vs Golden Bryce feud history

All Man with All Woman enters

Golden Bryce enters

XPWEW World Heavyweight Championship 1 on 1 M4: Golden Bryce (c) defeats All Man w/ All Woman

((All Man put up a fight and didn’t come across as weak as he did during their Flirting With Disaster PPV match last February the match ended when All Man had to match in his favor but when on the to rope looking for a Super-Plex he hyperextended his leg and landed on the ropes completely falling crotch first between the ropes (he oddly backed himself up to about the middle). All Man stood straddling the ropes with his crotch there long enough for Bryce to regain composure jump off the top rope and hit a very very awkward crooked version of the 6 rings. All Man gets untangled in the ropes and Bryce gets up yanks him out the ropes and pins him 1-2-3 Odd finish, Unique finish but the crowd really was expecting a kick out so the response was delayed. Just a weird match

AND STILL XPWEW WORLD CHAMPION: GOLDEN BRYCE

M5: Ruckus wins XPWEW 2020 Xtreme Rumble Match

#xpwew #xtreme rumble 2020 #xtreme rumble #ruckus #golden bryce #Lockdown 7

0 notes

45news · 4 years

Link

Hard Disk Hacking 22 by jacquesm | 1 comments on Hacker News.

#Blogger

0 notes

qadeer00001 · 4 years

Link

Hard Disk Hacking 19 by jacquesm | 1 comments on Hacker News.

#News Alart

0 notes

lesbian-in-leather · 3 months

Note

asoue!

oh my gosh I was hoping someone would ask for this, thank you!!

A Series of Unfortunate Events

OTP: This is. immediately so hard to answer oh god okay it'd have to be either Beasme or Eswell but please don't make me choose

Favourite canon pairing: Eslaf!! I know they aren't super popular but I love thinking about their fucked up dynamic <3

Worst pairing ever: Okay it's not the worst but I couldn't actually think of any that I Vehemently Fucking Dislike (excluding some of the Stuff that happens in the side of this fandom I don't interact with), but I feel like I'd have to go with Georgina/Josephine? Personally I just don't really see it, but I am happy to be convinced if anyone has any fic recs lmao

Guilty pleasure pairing: oooh probably either Kitme or Jacquesme. The implications of Esmé and a Snicket twin....... oooooh there's so much angst potential in both in two very different ways

A pairing you want to see more: oh, definitely Esmé/Netflix!Olivia. There was so much fruity tension there and nowhere near enough fics have been written about it

That pairing everyone likes but you’re like “lol no”: probably Kit/Dewey? I see Kit as a very reckless character in a lot of respects, and her type (excluding Dewey) has always been very dangerous (even if we just look at canon/functionally canon, we have Olaf and Ellington like,,, I haven't read atwq yet but even I know there's a pattern here. Also she def had a thing for Beatrice and probably Esmé so. the pattern continues). I feel like she was only with him to keep her child safe, and even then I don't think it'd last long, so I'm not really in to anything that actually ships them. Sorry Dewey <3

Favourite non-romantic pair: Esmé and the Baudelaires, specifically Esmé and Violet. I have a lot of thoughts on how much Violet looks like Beatrice, and we all know I love anything with angst potential

Send me a fandom and I'll answer these questions!

#tangentiallly #thank you for this!!#the lesbian herself #asoue #fandom asks #can you tell who my favourite character is #is it mayhaps a little obviously considering she came up in every single one of my positive answers #oops

18 notes · View notes

nahoo883 · 4 years

Text

New top story on Hacker News: Hard Disk Hacking

Hard Disk Hacking 18 by jacquesm | 1 comments on Hacker News. from Blogger https://ift.tt/31KVXiL via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Blogger

0 notes

beatricebidelaire · 7 years

Photo

Jacques Snicket x Esme Squalor

(a month ago i haven’t even thought of this ship but now ... yeah ... i blame @virginian-wolfsnake for getting me addicted with this pairing ...)

“It's the tattoo!” a VFD citizen pointed at Olaf’s left ankle and cried out.

With a roar, Olaf ran back to his motorcycle and, with another roar, he started the engine. “Hop aboard, Esme!” he called out to her.

“It's Esme Squalor!” an Elder cried. “She used to be the city's sixth most successful financial advisor, but now she works with Count Olaf!”

“I heard the two of them are dating!” Mrs. Morrow said in horror.

“We are dating!” Esme cried in triumph. She climbed aboard Olaf's motorcycle and tossed her helmet to the ground in an overdramatic fashion, looking as in as ever, if she could say so herself.

“So long, Baudelaires!” Olaf called, zooming through the angry crowd. “I'll find you again, if the authorities don't find you first!”

Esme cackled as the motorcycle roared off across the flat landscape at more than twice the legal speed limit, but somehow, a similar scene from ages ago suddenly flew through her mind.

“Is this the fastest you can go, Snicket?” she teased, tauntingly, as the motorcycle sped forward under the bright moonlight.

Jacques rolled his eyes, refusing to rise to the bait, “There’s something called safety, Esme, ever heard of it?”

“Yeah,” she scoffed, “last time I heard, it was out.”

Her lips twitched slightly in distaste at the memory, not sure why it suddenly came to mind after so many years. Maybe it was because they’d just killed Jacques. Still, it wasn’t as if she still cared about him – no, scratch that – it wasn’t as if she’d ever cared about him in the first place.

She needed to get him out of her mind.

“Faster,” Esme hissed into Olaf’s ears, when she realized he was gradually slowing down because the VFD village was far away enough.

Confusion seeped through his voice, “They won’t catch up with us from this distance—”

“I said faster,” she snarled. She craved for the speed -- lightning speed was in -- it was always in. If Olaf kept this slow pace that wasn’t enough to give her the thrill of being on a motorcycle, it was going to remind her of that idiot Snicket.

He hesitated for the briefest moment before shrugging, “As you wish,” and accelerated.

Leaving the village and her memories of Jacques Snicket far, far behind.

She wasn’t a person to ever look back, after all.

#jacquesme #jacques snicket #esme squalor #count olaf #asoue #mine #stuff i write #oneshot #the vile village

11 notes · View notes