#its hard to get all the context necessary yk

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, Anna!! When I first saw the new pictures, I thought Eddie was in uniform but he's just in blue??? I need to know what you think of the colors going on here!

Maggie, baby, I love that you asked this because I was about to make a post about it kspsmapakpskaa because here's the thing, I saw the picture and was like "hang on I need to check something" because the pattern on Buck's shirt is not something Buck wears a lot (assuming that really is Buck), but it reminded me of the jacket he's wearing in the hospital after the baby was born. (Brightened version of the still so we can see that it's a denim shirt)

The pattern is not the same but it made me realize something else.

Because checking for this I realized Eddie is fully blue when he calls Marisol, like fully blue, the flannel, the shirt, the pants.

And it's interesting because we know Eddie is the green character. At least he should be, with Ana and the 2 occasion with Buck. Sure, Chris' birth he's the blue one, but that feels wrong, even with Shannon in s2, Shannon is never in blue but he's usually in his army green and adjacent shades.

But to be fair, Eddie likes his denim shirts, so we need more context to say if they mean something by that or if it's just them working on Eddie's color palette, since his palette is very greens and blues and greys and browns. I don't fully think it is, because the wash of that shirt is not the correct shade, his denim stuff are usually lighter and his general color palette is more earthy. Honestly, that particular wash feels a bit bright in comparison to the colors Eddie usually wears, but that's more my opinion than an actual fact.

But dude could be off to a date with Marisol since the actress is allegedly coming back and he's blue because of that and they are gonna play with the shades the same way they do with Buck. It could be them playing with him being more open to stuff by getting him out of the army green armour. It could be anything really. In the end, we need more context osasokasaoksasaokas.

#911 #911 spoilers #911 speculation #i really need a tag for asks #maggie 💜 #i have theories but i dont like getting a lot of speculation going over a picture #its hard to get all the context necessary yk #i am very interested on the hand on the shoulder thing #thats my main thing there oajksoaksasokasoas #the blue could just be blue

[bonerey]

OOOOOHHOHOHOHOHOH

🤥 for enigma AND 🙊 for micah AND UH 🔫 for k??? if you would be so kind and noble???? batting my eyelashes i wanna hear even MORE abt these goobers

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

i mean. it kinda depends? hes not really a good liar but he can lie. sometimes. if he tries super hard. he'll like freeze up and go all silent bc stressful situations make his brain shut down and overload, which is hard enough to deal with but having to come up with a convincing story on top of that??? the struggle is real.

i dont think his stay in the compound made him any more capable. i find that trauma tends to make me less capable and more panicky and frazzled and unable to function? crazy how that works. i wish it gave me super manipulator powers though. honestly, k is probably capable of manipulation, his circumstances lead to that being more useful and necessary. did i get off topic i cant even tell. whatever

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

definitely his vulnerable side. hes very good at compartmentalizing stuff, kinda part of the job, but its different when other people bring stuff up. somehow that just reactivates the emotions. he lashes out with anger in those moments because anger is a practiced, easy emotion. safe to use. its a shield. it hides his other emotions from view.

hes very dissociated from his actions, i think, he has nightmares that he doesnt remember. he'll wake up sweaty and panicking and not know why. theres something small and vulnerable in his chest, that maybe not even he knows of, sadness and guilt and grief and fear. i dont think hes ever trusted someone with that part of himself willingly. he spent so long protecting it that he forgot what hes even trying to protect. its just muscle memory at this point

🔫 PISTOL - do they trust people easily? how easily will they turn their back to someone? have they been backstabbed before? will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

ABSOLUTELY NOT. they work at the compound

i cant tell which context this is in so ill answer for both: a( would he turn his back to someone in need?: i mean yea. probably. it kind of depends. like if there was a compound mikey begging for k to save him k would leave the situation as quickly as physically possible and just let ty handle it. he feels less guilty if hes not the one holding the gun, yk? if it were an iteration of him he'd probably help them, directly or indirectly. self preservation extends to iterations, most of the time b( how easily would they turn their back to someone (as in: trusting them)?: again it depends on who it is. he trusts micah not to kill enigma and to protect him, with the understanding that micah would probably rough enigma up a bit but probably keep him alive. he trusts ty as far as he could throw him (not very far), if k had any business regarding iterations of himself he would attempt to keep it as far from ty as possible and deal with it all himself if at all possible. he especially doesnt trust ty with any iterations of himself, but he cant rlly do much about the ones already in the compound. rip compound enigmas

i mean. Yeah he probably has been. i cant point to a specific moment or time but im sure he has been

ABSOLUTELY. IMMEDIATELY. NO HESITATION. self preservation is a bitch

#this is rambly and probably gets off topic but thats my specialty. this is what u all signed up for #this is so long im not proof reading it we die like mike walters #maintagging this. read my posts boy #woe.begone #w.bg #ty betteridge #wbg #woe.begone podcast #wbg oc #time travel espionage

[unopenablebox]

got all gender again today for a while, partly bc i’m struggling with–– public presentation questions, i guess, things about how i actually curate my Self. like: i’m not actually haunted by the knowledge that some people will not pick up on/correctly read/“correctly gender” me based on my presentation, that’s like fine, i didn’t expect near-universal comprehension of my visual/presentational Project at any point regardless of whether it involved gender identity. it’s more that there are things that are clearly curational and that would move toward achieving more of the goals of the project/being more “successful” at coming across in [ways] to people generally. and the thing is that while a lot of the presentational project is about me/my goals/satisfying myself, it’s not like the whole concept of having presentational goals is not in many ways predicated upon having an audience to present to; i do care and care to influence how i am viewed by others, what kinds of intentional choices i appear to be making and how those would seem to coalesce.

the big things are my name and my voice. it’s hard for me to imagine an american-culture-legible person’s name that i would identify with more strongly than gray, which…. i don’t identify with. [birthname] i at once feel more and less strongly about––more simply because of like, built up associative stuff, less because it’s not on its own particularly aesthetically interesting imo and has some amount of cultural/religious gendered baggage or w/e, tho idk that that’s strictly the first association for people who are not like, deep in to bible study or w/e lmao. [if that’s the first association for jews then like whatever, that’s a little better actually, bc i do like that it’s like. pretty jewish. but still ultimately not really me.]

what i like more is, well, as i’ve said–– [static], an unpronounceable symbol, a color, if absolutely necessary maybe a non-name object noun, the word “glass”. but that feels like it foregrounds the gender thing in some pretty ostentatious and visible ways that seem to connote some things that i don’t strictly want to be always connoting. especially in a college context it feels like i’m going to put people into kind of a place of expecting me to be About gender/transness where i don’t really…. want to be. it’s fun to talk about and think about but with like, people who are actually interesting about it, which is …. not most people, and definitely does not include like, my coworkers or heterosexual friends-of-friends. and i feel like i’m therefore caught between using a name i feel neutral at best about but that incurs Difficulty bc name change problems/i still would have to talk about gender, vs using a name that i don’t really like except for ease reasons, and that would also seem to not align with everything else i’m like, doing, in ways that feel jarring/like i’m not being deliberate enough with or succeeding at my concepts, yk? like the problem with birthname is at least partly that it’s just not gendered correctly or occupying an aesthetic space that lines up with my Thing, and i don’t want to seem like a person who doesn’t understand their own Thing enough to line things up with it well, but everything that truly does align with my Thing is, you know, #898989.

so there’s that.

hopefully a faster meditation is that: i know at least sometimes my voice is the thing between me and ~~passing as male~~ since people who just see and don’t hear me will pretty unambiguously address me as sir/bro/etc if i’m wearing even remotely plausible clothing. and i think the Ideal Me would have a slightly lower androgynous-range voice. but like. i do like my voice fine, in a vacuum, and the obvious thing which is T is not uh strictly appealing to me given the range of possible effects both globally and in terms of the fact that in my very limited interpersonal experience, some people end up with voices that are “pitch shifted into male range” but also become … buzzy? or something? i think? in a way i don’t mind at all in other people but would h a t e in myself. and i can’t tell if vocal training is like…. a relevant concept here, especially since most trans ppl going my vocal direction….are on T, and also given that i get vocal strain from like Literally Any Singing and am just maybe not a good candidate for trying to do that. also i am not really feeling irreversibility rn wrt my body, just like generally.

#genderbox #box opener #navelgazing