#its crying over kanej hours all over again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

andromeda3116 · 3 years

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so like i said i would do no more explaining but i was kinda jokey with that post when actually no i legit did put thought and purpose into this kanej playlist, so here’s a breakdown of the songs on it and which lyric(s)/to whom it applies. some of them, again, are more about the general vibe, but mostly there’s like. an actual reason i picked these songs.

kaz.

o. (not on spotify) the sewers belch me up, the heavens spit me out, from ethers tragic i am born again. [...] is it bright where you are? have the people changed? does it make you happy you're so strange? and in your darkest hour, i hold secrets' flame. you can watch the world devoured in its pain. --the end is the beginning is the end

i. god money, i’ll do anything for you. god money, just tell me what you want me to. god money, nail me up against the wall. god money, don't want everything, he wants it all. no, you can’t take it, no you can't take it, no, you can’t take that away from me. head like a hole, black as your soul, i'd rather die than give you control. bow down before the one you serve, you’re going to get what you deserve.

ii. there’s a shadow just behind me, shrouding every step i take, making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. [...] i am just a worthless liar, i am just an imbecile. i will only complicate you. trust in me and fall as well. [...] why can we not be sober, i just want to start this over.

iii. i’d walk to you through rings of fire, and never let you know the way i feel. under skin is where i hide the love that always gets me on my knees. [...] i want it now, i want it now. don’t tell me that my ship is coming in. --nothing lasts forever

iv. one: take control of me, you’re messing with the enemy. said it’s two: it’s another trick, you’re messing with my mind. [...] there it goes again, take me to the edge again. all i got is a dirty trick, i’m chasing down the wolves to save you. i tell you i want you, i tell you i need you. the blood on my face, i just wanted you near me. --club foot

v. don’t waste your touch, you won’t feel anything. or were you sent to save me? i’ve thought too much, you won’t find anything worthy of redeeming. [...] reach out and you may take my heart away. --the leaving song, part two

vi. while i waited, i was wasting away, hope was wasting away, faith was wasting away, i was wasting away. [...] inside a crumbling effigy, but you promised. so dies all innocence, but you promised me. --the great disappointment

vii. welcome to the end of eras, ice has melted back to life, done my time and served my sentence, dress me up and watch me die. if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine. dynasty decapitated, you just might see a ghost tonight. [...] the crown. so close i could taste it, i see what’s mine and take it. --the emperor’s new clothes

viii. all my friends were glorious, tonight we are victorious. [...] i’m a killing spree in white, eyes like broken christmas lights. my touch is black and poisonous. [...] throw the bait, catch the shark, bleed the water red. fifty words for murder, and i’m every one of them.

ix. just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end, just like a memory, it twists me. you land as lightly as the new snow onto the melting boy. you land as gently, you’re so cinematic, bathed in your radiance, i melt. --this celluloid dream

x. i’ll describe the way i feel: weeping wounds that never heal. can this savior be for real, or are you just my seventh seal? no hesitation, no delay, you come on just like special k, now you’re back, the dope demand, i’m on sinking sand. [...] i’ll describe the way i feel: you’re my new achilles heel.

xi. i choose to live and to grow, take and give and to move, learn and love and to cry, kill and die and to be paranoid and to lie, hate and fear and to do what it takes to move through. i choose to live and to lie, kill and give and to die, learn and love and to do what it takes to step through. [...] i’ve been crawling on my belly, clearing out what could have been. --forty-six and two

xii. do you listen to yourself? never live for someone else. do you like the way you feel? nothing hurts when no one’s real. [...] i wanna bullet-proof your soul, would you like to lose control? i won’t let you fall until you tell me so. [...] should have listened when you called my name.

xiii. you have forsaken all the love you’ve taken, sleeping on a razor, there’s nowhere left to fall. your body’s aching, every bone is breaking, nothing seems to shake it, it just keeps holding on. [...] i thread the needle through, you beat the devil’s tattoo.

xiv. i’m insane, but on my toes. i can keep the world balanced on my nose. i had a slumber party with all my foes, now i wear ‘em like a badge of honor on my clothes. if i’m crazy, i’m on my own. if i’m waiting, it’s on my throne. [...] can’t stop me now, i said i got you now. i’m right here at your door, i won’t leave, i want more. --what’s up, danger?

xv. the world is a vampire sent to drain, secret destroyers hold you up to the flames. and what do i get for my pain? betrayed desires and a piece of the game. [...] despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage. --bullet with butterfly wings

xvi. can’t you see i’m sorry? i will make it worth your while. i’m made of dead men’s money, you can see it in my smile. oh, lazarus, how did your debt get paid? [...] when the fires, when the fires are consuming you, and your sacred stars won’t be guiding you, i’ve got blood, i’ve got blood on my name.

xvii. “oh don’t talk of love,” the shadows purr, murmuring me away from you. “don’t talk of worlds that never were, the end is all that’s ever true.” [...] every night i burn, every night i scream your name.

xviii. my heart’s a tart, your body’s rent, my body’s broken, yours is bent. carve your name into my arm, instead of stressed, i lie here charmed. [...] like the naked leads the blind, i know i’m selfish, i’m unkind. sucker love, i always find someone to bruise and leave behind. --every you, every me

xix. it don’t matter, i won’t do what you say. you’ve got the money and the power, i won’t go your way. i can’t take for the people, they don’t matter at all. i’ll be waiting in the shadows, until the day that you fall. [...] kill me if you dare, hold my head up everywhere. --underdog

inej.

i. i’m a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm, and the scars that mark my body, they’re silver and gold. my blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones, it keeps my veins hot, the fire’s found a home in me. [...] and i’m locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me. i’m done with it, oh, this is the start of how it all ends. --yellow flicker beat

ii. just how deep do you believe? will you bite the hand that feeds? will you chew until it bleeds? can you get up off your knees? are you brave enough to see? do you wanna change it?

iii. i know it’s a lie, i want it to be true. the rest of the ride is riding on you. [...] wishing you could keep me closer, i’m a lazy dancer, when you move i move with you. --collect call

iv. don’t look ahead, there’s stormy weather, another roadblock in our way. but if we go, we go together, our hands are tied here if we stay. oh, we said our dreams would carry us and if they don’t fly, we will run. now we push right past to find out how to win what they all lost. oh, we know that we want more, oh, the life we’re fighting for. [...] there are no rules that we can’t break. --disparate youth

v. as i move my feet towards your body, i can hear this beat, it fills my head up and gets louder and louder. i run to the river and dive straight in. i pray that the water will drown out the din. [...] there’s a drumming noise inside my head and it starts when you’re around. --drumming song

vi. shoot me down, but i get up. i’m bulletproof, nothing to lose. fire away, fire away. ricochet, you take your aim. fire away, fire away. shoot me down, but i won’t fall, i am titanium.

vii. you’ve been walking, you’ve been hiding, and you look half-dead half the time. monitoring you, like machines do, you’ve still got it, i’m just keeping an eye. you say too late to start, with your heart in a headlock. i don’t believe any of it.

viii. i’m in need of a savior, but i’m not asking for favors. my whole life i’ve felt like a burden, i think too much and i hate it. i’m so used to being in the wrong, i’m tired of caring. loving never gave me a home, so i’ll sit here in the silence. i found peace in your violence, can’t tell me there’s no point in trying. i’m at one, and i’ve been quiet for too long.

ix. i am running, i will meet you halfway. when i get there, will you be waiting for me? and i’m scared that you don’t feel the same. and after all, just how much can i take? heaven help me, i think i’m in love, i’m all in love with you. ‘cause i can’t help myself, i’m falling down, i’m falling hard for you.

x. i never promised you an open heart or charity, i never wanted to abuse your imagination. i come with knives, i come with knives and agony to love you.

xi. stooped down and out, you got me beggin’ for thread to sew this hole up that you ripped it my head. stupidly think you had it under control. strapped down to something you don’t understand, don’t know what you were getting yourself into. you should have known, secretly i think you knew.

xii. go row the boat to safer grounds, but don’t you know? we’re stronger now. my heart still beats, and my skin still feels. my lungs still breathe, my mind still fears. but we’re running out of time, all the echoes in my mind cry. there’s blood on your lies, the scars open wide. there is nowhere for you to hide, the hunter’s moon is shining. i’m running with the wolves tonight.

xiii. a falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes. i screamed aloud as it tore through them and now it’s left me blind. the stars, the moon, they have all been blown out, you’ve left me in the dark. no dawn, no day, i’m always in this twilight, in the shadow of your heart. [...] i took the stars from my eyes and then i made a map, i knew that somehow i could find the way back. then i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness, too. so i stayed in the darkness with you. --cosmic love

both/and.

i. shed a tear for each soul set free, but that’s what happens when you dance with me. pity the man who stands in my way, i’m a nightmare even in the day. i’d be wise with which words you say, ‘cause they could be the last breath you take. [...] call me a criminal, maybe, baby, i’m an outlaw. you know, i ain’t evil but i ain’t a saint.

ii. it’s my own design, it’s my own remorse. help me to decide. help me make the most of freedom, and of pleasure. nothing ever lasts forever. everybody wants to rule the world. there’s a room where the light won’t find you, holding hands while the walls come tumbling down. when they do i’ll be right behind you.

iii. i know you’ve suffered, but i don’t want you to hide. [...] i want to reconcile the violence in your heart, i want to recognize your beauty’s not just a mask. i want to exorcise the demons from your past. i want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart.

iv. you mean that much to me and it’s hard to show. gets hectic inside of me when you go. can i confess these things to you? well, i don’t know. embedded in my chest and it hurts to hold. i couldn’t spill my heart, my eyes gleam looking in from the dark. i walk out in stormy weather, hold my words, keep us together. steady walking but bound to trip, should release but just tighten my grip. night time, sympathize, i’ve been working on white lies. so i’ll tell the truth.

v. i, i came here in day, but i left here in darkness and found you, found you on the way. [...] your sins into me, oh my beautiful one. --silver and cold

vi. you wanna make me bad, make me bad. you wanna pay me back, pay me back. baby, it’s violence, violence. [...] but i like it like that.

vii. hey, baby, can you bleed like me? oh, come on baby, can you bleed like me? you should see my scars.

viii. i’m giving you a night call, to tell you how i feel. i’m gonna show you where it’s dark but have no fear. [...] there’s something inside you, it’s hard to explain. they’re talking about you, boy, but you’re still the same.

ix. you don’t wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies. unaware that i’m tearing you asunder, and there’s a thunder in our hearts, baby. so much hate for the ones we love, tell me we both matter, don’t we? [...] come on baby, come on, come on darling, let me steal this moment from you now. --running up that hill

x. feel my heart burning, deep inside, yearning. i know it is coming. a fettered heart, waking. tainted youth, fading. leave it all behind. delirious again, mesmerize my senses, souls entwine one more time.

xi. there is love in your body but you can’t get it out, it gets stuck in your head, won’t come out of your mouth. sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face, that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste. darling heart, i loved you from the start, but you'll never know what a fool i have been. darling heart, i loved you from the start, but that’s no excuse for the state i am in. --hardest of hearts

xii. it’s fire, it’s freedom, it’s flooding open. it’s the preacher and the pulpit and your blind devotion. there’s something breaking at the brick of every wall, it’s holding all that you know. so tell me do you wanna go? where it’s covered in all the colored lights, where the runaways are running the nights. impossible comes true, it’s taking over you. [...] where the lost get found and we crown ‘em the circus king. --the greatest show

xiii. but if you’re troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things they did. they said now, teenagers scare the living shit out of me. they could care less, as long as someone will bleed. so darken your clothes and strike a violent pose, maybe they’ll leave you alone, but not me.

xiv. we are ready for the siege, we are armed up to the teeth. be careful how you live and breathe, release what’s broken underneath. how many times do you wanna die? how many ways do you wanna die? [...] you used to do a little but a little won’t fly, right before you hit your prime. that’s where we fell in love but not the first time. --the royal we

xv. and how can we win, when fools can be kings? don’t waste your time, or time will waste you. no one’s gonna take me alive. the time has come to make things right. you and i must fight for our rights, you and i must fight to survive. --knights of cydonia

xvi. look at me go, look at me high and low, look at me picking myself back up from the underground. i’ve died a few times before, i know what it’s like when i can’t see the light, i find a light of my own. [...] we were born alone, and we die alone. what a way to go, now i’m on my own. but i’m not sorry, no.

xvii. broken people, hollow and feeble, they’re rolling, rolling up the hill. [...] breaking in, in, in my eyes, i can’t see like this. i can’t let go, please help me down, i can’t be like this. --sweet

xviii. prey on the powerful, masters of the game, we run with wolves in the shadows, we chase ‘em down ‘til we’re face to face. [...] it’s in our blood, in our blood, in our veins. this is the world we made.

xix. and our lives are forever changed, we will never be the same. the more you change the less you feel. believe, believe in me. believe, believe that life can change, that you’re not stuck in vain. we’re not the same, we’re different tonight. [...] we’ll make things right, we’ll feel it all tonight. we’ll find a way to offer up the night tonight, the indescribable moments of your life, tonight. the impossible is possible tonight. believe in me as i believe in you, tonight.

#kanej #six of crows #listen i stand by my former statement that modern!kaz would be a *huge* fan of nine inch nails #although i will hear arguments for tool #he'd be into like old-school throwback industrial and goth rock #i mean. the barely-restrained rage of some of that genre? he'd be here for it #modern!inej is more of a fan of it than you'd expect but still not like. going to shows or anything #(she really *feels* the rage anthems)#that said #considering how kaz's memory works you know he gets songs stuck in his head like nobody's business #so anytime he annoys her she starts singing like. mamma mia.#if she's *really* annoyed she'll get the dj at the crow club to play abba albums until he apologizes #entirely against his will kaz knows all the lyrics to abba's entire discography because inej is 100% not going to stop the dancing queen #until he's apologized and she doesn't care how much swedish bubblegum pop she has to listen to #this is the one game he cannot win #once the marimbas start it's over. he has lost. the argument is done. it's just a matter of how long it'll take him to admit it.#inadvertently allowing inej to discover his hatred of abba is up there among the biggest mistakes of his entire life #shit i actually didn't mean to post this but like now that i have i guess here it is?#welp.

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delicious-in-danger · 3 years

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its 4am and i really need to go to sleep but my brain is on a constant loop of “inej look at me. you saved my life” “the saints never watched over me. not like you have” “you were right. she’s real” “if you told kaz that, he’d murder tante heleen himself” and “we need you. i need you” and-

#i need to stop #but how can i its KANEJ #anyway see y’all in 8 hrs when this place explodes and its gonna be meme time #shadow and bone spoilers #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone #sab spoilers #s&b spoilers #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #kanej #kanej supremacy #its crying over kanej hours all over again

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delicious-in-danger · 3 years

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okay but can we all just relish in thoughts about post-ck kanej:

*they maintain a long-distance relationship with face-to-face encounters filled with warmth and healing* *continue to build their individual reputations as the king of ketterdam and the saint of the true sea* *while also being rumored to have an undefined sort of alliance, and being a living nightmare for the rich on all continents* *inej teaches kaz sailing and he’s terrible at it and looks like a wet cat most of the time* *but still joins her on deck whenever he can just to hear her laugh* *kaz shows inej around the silver six, and she notices all the subtle decorations honoring the crows* *inej’s parents come to visit inej sometimes* *once, in ketterdam, inej's mother gives kaz a wreath of wild geraniums* *inej convinces kaz to secure the rietveld farm, and he starts working on the grounds ever so often* *they grow older together with their friends*

*inej proposes to kaz one time when she manages to get him to sail with her all the way to ravka* *they stand in church with specht and inej’s parents as their only witnesses* *back in ketterdam, there is another ceremony, with legal papers* *with kaz leaving all his assests and property to inej in case of his death and her doing the same thing* *they don’t have an official honeymoon, but the days they spend together before another departure kaz wakes up and watches inej in her sleeping robes feed the crows outside* *and he knows for sure there is magic left in the world* *they become the godparents of nina and hanne’s first kid* *jesper gets competitive so the title extends to his and wylan’s child as well* *kaz pretends to accept both offers begrudgingly but he loves spending time with the kids, because it reminds him of the long-lost innocence and excitement for life jordie and he once held* *whenever inej sees the kids she brings them sweets and gifts from all over the sea* *as they grow older, she teaches them ways of hiding from danger and knife skills* *kaz gets involved when it comes to close combat lessons (and lockpicking)* *they both decide not to have kids for safety reasons, yet still are parents to so many* *some of the children inej saves, the ones that have the same fire in their eyes she recognizes as once glinting in her own* *those choose to stay with her, train to become bearers of freedom as well* *kids beaten half-dead in ketterdam’s streets, starving or lost* *those go with the dregs, are said to be under protection of the boss himself* *some of them kaz sends to inej when he hears their stories* *none of those kids ever forget who was kind to them* *when inej reaches the age of returning to the shores forever, she remembers her deceased parents* *how they passed their wisdom and knowledge to her* *she, too, leaves the wraith to her young proteges* *it now sails in her name, the name that still scares and inspires respect* *inej comes to lij and settles there under disguise* *the neighbors know her husband, a somber yet graceful man* *he visits at least thrice a week and occasionally brings company of both young and elderly* *eventually, he joins her permanently to help tend to the animals and watch over the growing garden* *soon, the whole ketterdam hears that kaz brekker was killed during a gang fight* *its true. but mr rietveld is well alive and milking his cow magie while his wife is pulling the weeds* *they are often seen walking over the fields, kaz leaning on his cane with one hand and holding inej by the elbow with another* *she sings songs to him, the ones that remind her of the tides and the breeze and the vanes spread* *her voice is sure and light, as is her walk*

*it is almost sixty years after the ice court heist when kaz is laying in bed, eyes half-closed* *his wrinkle-weaven hands are holding inej’s own* *he is disarmed, yet not sinking, not even floating - he thinks he’s actually on the verge of flying, of finally understanding what inej must have felt like when she walked the wire all those years ago* *he unlocks the last door in his life and turns back to look at the face of the woman before him* *the woman who had always been by his side, whose countless smiles he has earned, the woman who never tried to fix him, but helped him heal* *so kaz holds her hand one last time and enters the door* *inej lets him go* *she knows that even though this shevrati always told her he didn’t believe in anything, he once also promised he’d come for her* *she will live for him some more, and then they will be reunited* *because that’s what they do. they never stop fighting*

#kanej #six of crows #crooked kingdom #post crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kaz rietveld #soc #soc headcanon #its crying over kanej hours all over again #grishaverse #wow this has been sitting in my drafts for a while #the way i descend from the factual into the overly poetic lmao #someone teach me to write headcanons please

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delicious-in-danger · 3 years

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i just- i don’t understand why some people say kaz doesn’t deserve inej like???? he continually proves both to the readers and to characters within the universe that he can become a ‘semblance of a man’, whatever it means to him. and he sets a goal, perhaps subconsciously, of putting himself together from the get go - in the first half of the first book! this boy has been deprived of a chance and a privilege to be kind or generous or naive in a way few people even in ketterdam could understand - for fuck’s sake, he survived a plague floating on his brother’s dead body after said brother lost all their inheritance to the most powerful mob king! and yet he still tries, for inej’s sake, for whatever pieces of him she sees worthy of fighting for, to do better (he didn’t have to care about kuwei’s fate but he did; didn’t have to help local grishas or any of the crows in their personal struggles - yet he did, if subtly and begrudgingly).

he’s violent, true; he takes justice as he seems fit; but those are the only things life has taught him, and even then he manages to take as much care of his friends as he can and avoid cruelty when possible. he plays by ketterdam’s rules, but he also molds them for his own advantage; the audience so often forgets how his main trick is sleight of hand - mere distraction of attention, mirage and illusion. he bluffs a lot, constructs complex plans with lots of undercover missions and emotional manipulations; and when he does hurt someone physically, it is either non-lethal and strictly necessary or has justifiable reasons (e.g. his closest partner and friend being stabbed, a woman in the pleasure house being blackmailed into doing something she doesn’t feel safe about).

one of my favorite scenes between kaz and inej, even though their relationship is not even at its forefront, is when he confronts rollins by telling him his son’s buried alive. he thinks, then, that inej would never forgive him if he actually kills the boy - and the thing is, he hasn’t (he probably never will). he wants his vengeance and he gets it, but not by taking it out on an innocent boy. kaz wouldn’t do it because it is not his way of thinking/acting, not his first instinct or even last choice, because for all of his aura of ruthlessness, underneath it is someone who has just been broken too much too young and had healed into a creature of obsessive hurt and anger in a world that was never nice to him. but it is also someone who is not lost - someone who has found the right way to pick the lock by meeting the right people and sticking by them - someone whose dark doors can yet be opened through trust and support previously denied to him.

some of the darkness inside kaz’s doors may remain forever, but in his world, it is what’s needed. nothing less, nothing more. and inej is someone who sees and understands that completely.

TL; DR: kaz does in fact deserve inej and strives to do his best for her and partly because of her. the misconception that he is just a ruthless gang member who kills for pleasure and doesn’t have any moral principles should not be used tl oversimplify his character and his conflict and growth

#THERE WILL BE MORE RANTING from inej’s pov and their interactions in the books #because i do spend half my days thinking about them #and just can’t comprehend how a take like this would appear #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #six of crows #shadow and bone #its crying over kanej hours all over again #mallgoth baby #in conclusion i love my little shit and how much potential complexity and meaning his journey has

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