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saiilorstars · 1 year

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• Previous Chapters • Sequel to Falling in Temptation • Avalon’s Masterlist

• 11th doctor x ofc

taglist: @ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @gloryekaterina @lenonizi @foxesandmagic

If you’d like to be a part of this OC’s work/edits, let me know!

Disclaimer: This chapter’s plotline is from Doctor Who’s comic stories. Most of the dialogue is directly written from the comic. The plot is NOT mine.

P.S.: I want to thank everyone who sent me messages on this series warning me that Plush Books had stolen some of my stories. It seems like they've taken most of the stolen stories down, including all of mine so hopefully that's it for this situation. It was awful seeing my own stories posted and people not knowing that it wasn't theirs. Although I did see many comments recognizing that the story was stolen so thank you for that as well!

"Okay, you're going to need to help me with this," Avalon walked into the console room donning an ancient Greek emerald dress with golden accents on the hemlines. Her curled hair had been left down but pushed out of her face with a golden headband.

The Doctor was dazzled by her choice of fashion and slowly came around the console to get a better look. "Just wow," he sucked in a breath.

With a cheekish smile, Avalon turned around to reveal the backside of the dress had not been zipped up. "Help please? I don't remember Greeks having zippers. You might want to tell your TARDIS about that."

As if to complain herself, the TARDIS hummed.

"I believe that was your other grandmother telling you off," the Doctor moved closer to zip up the dress. His fingers brushed (purposely of course) over Avalon's skin while he slowly - purposely too - pulled the zipper up.

"Having fun back there?" Avalon playfully rolled her eyes after a full minute of still being 'zipped up'.

"Tremendously," the Doctor admitted and turned her right around. "You did that on purpose."

"Me? I have no clue on what you are talking about," Avalon played innocent as best as possible but her smirk gave her up.

"You are one conniving ginger…" the Doctor walked her up to a silver rail, "...sneaky ginger…clever ginger…"

"Are you going to kiss me or just call me names?"

The Doctor pretended to think about it for just two seconds before diving down and kissing her. A muffled giggle escaped Avalon's lips somewhere in-between the kiss but neither could give up their moment to 'laugh', that is until their visitors walked into the room.

"Oh, could you maybe not snog my granddaughter in front of me?" Rory shivered and headed up for the console platform. Avalon rolled her eyes but kept the Doctor close to her. "What do I have to do? Make signs to get the message across?"

"While you do that…" Avalon pointed and made to kiss her husband again when Rory snapped and shouted her name. Laughing, Avalon walked with the Doctor up to the console to finally get going to their destination.

"So where are we going again?" Amy asked.

In response, the Doctor waved a small strip of paper in the air. "Got this, remember?"

"You mean the strange note someone left stuck to the TARDIS door yesterday?" Rory through by reminding them of the unusual manner they'd gotten the warning it would stir some doubt in actually following its instruction. "In a place no one knew who we were?"

"Exactly!" the Doctor exclaimed without a clue. "It's asking us to go to Athens. Apparently someone there needs our help."

And so, the trip was sealed.

~0~

Athens was beautiful in all its glory.

"I can't believe we're actually here," Amy released a girlish giggle as they walked on past Grecians in their daily life. She couldn't help her gaping mouth every time they passed a stone statue or heard mythological warnings.

It was just like the history books said it, but better!

"Ooooh…" Avalon stopped suddenly, and because her hand was clasped with the Doctor's, he was forced to do the same. "Pretty necklaces…" she threw him an innocent glance.

"Avalon I know we did not come to Olympia for you to go SHOPPING shopping," the Doctor already wore an expression of defeat because he knew that no matter how much he pointed out the other best spots of the places, Avalon would discard them all in favor of the 'pretty necklaces'.

"Just for like...five minutes," Avalon promised and rushed off to the stall with the shiny, opal necklaces hanging. Amy discreetly went to do the same.

Rory crossed his arms to wait. "No matter the time, no matter the place, they always find a way to shop."

"Hm," the Doctor looked around and hoped to God Avalon wouldn't take forever. His attention was caught, however, by a familiar man on a bench not too far from them. "Is it…?" he started heading for the bench's direction.

Rory followed since he would basically rather do anything but wait around. "What is it?"

"Who is it," the Doctor corrected.

There was a middle-aged man sleeping on the bench who, frankly, could have seen better days as Rory remarked.

"Mind your tongue, Rory," the Doctor was completely dazzled by the man on the bench. "This is Socrates!" Rory couldn't look less impressed by the sight. The Doctor gently shook 'Socrates' while babbling on how grand he was to Rory. "You'll see! The thoughts this man came up with are phenomenal!"

Socrates' eyes snapped open then, and for some reason Rory didn't quite like the look on his face. It certainly didn't match the face of a man meant to be a grand genius.

"Hello there," the Doctor didn't pay close attention like his companion. He was too excited! He extended a hand to Socrates.

Unfortunately for him, Socrates wasn't in the talking mood. Without warning, he directed a punch right to the Doctor's face.

"Doctor!" Rory went as the Time Lord was knocked to the ground.

"Who are you!? What do you want!?" Socrates began to shout as he backtracked from the two travelers.

As Rory helped the Doctor up, people around them began to look on. Even Avalon and Amy had let go of their necklaces to rush over.

A young man came to Socrates and begged him to come back with him. "Let's go to the tavern, c'mon!" Socrates didn't stop shouting vulgarities at the travelers all the way until he disappeared.

"What the hell just happened?" Avalon faced the Doctor, taking a look at the purplish spot on his face from where he'd been punch. "Two minutes, I literally left you for two minutes and you get into trouble?"

The Doctor gave her a brief look before watching after Socrates again. "Something's not quite right…"

"You're telling me!"

"I need to go find him," the Doctor tried stepping around Avalon but she grasped his arm and gave him a sharp look.

"Are you serious? Did you not just register what happened?"

"Yeah, Doctor, do you think it's a good idea to go after that guy?" Amy raised an eyebrow, her expression matching her granddaughter's.

"This wasn't just any ordinary man, Amy. This was Socrates," the Doctor said like it should have explained everything, and it frankly should have.

"And he's crazy," Avalon said flatly. "Stay away from him."

"I'm going," the Doctor tapped her nose.

"I'll come too," Rory volunteered since he foresaw an argument between the Doctor and Avalon. "Can't get into trouble on his own, right?"

Avalon shook her head. "What could possibly go wrong, right? Rhetoric question, idiot," she said once she saw the Doctor ready to answer the question.

"I'll be extra careful just for you!" the Doctor exclaimed, cheerful despite having been punched not five minutes ago. He pressed a kiss to her lips then started walking in the direction Socrates had been brought to.

"Look after him please," Amy told Rory before he left too.

The two gingers were left to stare at their respective husbands knowing that of course trouble would find them again. In the meantime, they decided to wander off through the various stalls.

"I wish we could buy something…" Amy muttered and was most certainly not expecting for Avalon to pull out the Doctor's psychic paper.

"I think royal status would allow us to get what we want," Avalon flashed a big, cheeky smile.

"Ah, how did you get that?" Amy knew for sure the Doctor hadn't lent it to Avalon.

"When we kiss, my hands wander," Avalon shrugged and went slightly ahead.

"Eugh," Amy crinkled her nose but went after her anyways.

Avalon, however, had come to a stop when she spotted an old woman having a shout-off with a couple of soldiers. The old woman kept pointing at a covered statue that was apparently on its way to being destroyed.

"Quit your shouting you old hag!" went one of the soldiers, Dimitris.

Captain Alexios of the soldiers ordered him not to disrespect the woman. The woman ignored them and yanked off the cover off the statue, revealing a bronze Athena underneath.

"Now that is cool," Avalon gawked with a mouth open. Without thinking, she started going towards the soldiers.

"Avalon!" Amy hissed but her granddaughter paid no attention.

"You really want to destroy this?" Avalon went ahead and cut into the disagreement, not minding the strange looks from some of the officers. "It's gorgeous!"

"It's taking space, ma'am," one of the soldiers spat.

The old woman, Calidora, simply refused it. "You can't melt it down! If you do you are condemning our city to destruction!"

"Now there's a story I'm interested in," Avalon turned to the woman with curious eyes.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry but I'm just following orders," Captain Alexios truly meant his words. "Take it away," he told his soldiers.

"No, wait, I want to know the story," Avalon pouted sarcastically until she heard Calidora actually crying. The woman took her statements seriously, apparently. "Hey," she approached Calidora kindly. "What's the big deal if they take the statue away? Couldn't that just mean there's going to be an even better one taking its place?"

Calidora shook her head. "No. Even if your words are true it won't matter."

"Hey, what's going on?" Amy joined them and gave a look to Calidora.

"Apparently taking the statue of Athena away curses this city…?" Avalon still wasn't sure if that was the right story.

"It is," Calidora promised them. "They think that by melting our statue they will gain sufficient money to fund our war. Ridiculous war! It will only provoke the Gods' wrath upon us!"

"I'm sure...that...that we can find a way to get that statue back," Avalon rubbed a hand on the woman's arm, glancing at Amy for some more words of comfort. Amy made a shrug of her shoulders, no clue of course.

"No, it is impossible," Calidora sniffed. She released a small smile at Avalon. "You are very kind, young lady."

"My name's Avalon, and that's my friend Amy," Avalon introduced them. "We can help—"

"You can't," Calidora said, hopelessly. "But I appreciate your attempt to help. Here," she removed a talisman hanging around her neck and held it to Avalon. "Accept this, please."

Avalon's eyes widened. "Um, I-I shouldn't—"

Calidora didn't wait to hear the full rejection. She placed the talisman in Avalon's palms and closed her fingers over it. "It's best if you two get out of here. The Gods—" she tilted her head to the sky, "—are mad. They will soon descend upon us for our sins."

"But—"

Calidora rushed away before Avalon could finish.

Amy snorted. "I'm starting to believe she was really just a crazy bat."

"I don't know…" Avalon raised the talisman to her eyes. "I'm known to go crazy over fairytales. She looked really upset. Athena isn't just a myth, she's a symbol of wisdom. She commands respect and she's about to be melted so that men can continue fighting."

Amy looked around and decided that perhaps shopping just wasn't for that day. "Um, let's just go find the Doctor and Rory. This place is starting to turn out weird even for us."

Avalon figured they could at least tell the Doctor of what they went through and somehow, magically, leave the Athena stone back in its place for Calidora. Calidora was right in that it was stupid to melt down a beautiful statue just so that the war could keep going.

"C'mon," Avalon tied the talisman around her neck and began to walk with Amy.

But, as they walked in back in the direction from which they had come from, the sky became rather quickly gloomy. The sun had disappeared and in its place was a threatening thunderstorm.

Amy came to a stop to examine the new sky. "Where's the—?"

A golden lightning bolt struck right in the center of marker stalls. Both gingers jumped in place while the other people screamed. Lightning by the dozens began clapping down on the area, burning stalls and barrels. People tried getting away but had to change direction every time they had narrowly avoided being hit.

Avalon spotted a child in the midst of the chaos, crying for their mother. Without thinking, she dashed to go help him.

"Avalon!" Amy tried going after her but the force of the lightning that struck just in Avalon's direction forced her back. "AVALON!" Amy screamed but the billowing smoke prevented her from seeing what was of Avalon.

Instead, a new noise erupted from the sky. Amy narrowed her eyes at the large male face projected. The man commanded silence.

"I am Zeus!" roared the man. "This city's sins have awoken me from my slumber. You dared commit blasphemy by betraying my trust. Now, you shall all pay."

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Amy knew for sure this wasn't Zeus but of course everyone from the village would believe it.

"Kito!" a middle-aged woman cried out, attracting Amy's attention. Her boy was being helped up by none other than Avalon.

Seeing her well and alive, Amy ran towards them. "Avalon! Thank God!" she pulled her granddaughter into a tight hug. Avalon groaned but nonetheless laughed.

"Thank you," the mother of the boy Avalon had saved broke them apart. She was holding her son tightly in her arms. "We owe you his life."

Avalon smiled at them. "It was nothing. You're welcome."

Amy pulled her into a speedy walk, hands clasped tightly. "We both know you got hit by lightning!"

"Yup," Avalon nodded.

"So how the hell did you survive?"

"Like many things about me, I have no idea."

~0~

Since the projection of 'Zeus', the Doctor had done many things. First of all, he had found Socrates again (with his student Plato!) and received a full apology...from Plato. Secondly, he had discovered the reason behind Socrates' alcoholic lifestyle and now felt a sudden rage towards Athens for being so cruel. Lastly, he'd seen a great big farce of 'Zeus' in the sky.

All in all, it had been an eventful day.

His last plan had brought him and Rory to acropolis to talk to 'Zeus', but surprise, surprise there had been no answer.

"You're telling me that was a 'screen saver'?" Rory tried wrapping his head around that idea when he and the Doctor returned to the city.

"Yes, Rory, like a computer does. Don't you use those all the time?" the Doctor shot him a condescending glance.

Rory rolled his eyes. "Well, you at least shut it down so it means no more false projections."

"Yes but that won't stop the people from going crazy with terror," the Doctor noted the scrambling Athenians rushing past them. There were men just nearby trying to bring down a library because they thought it would somehow help dissuade Zeus' rage.

Rory recognized the path to Socrates' home once they made a final turn. "No, we're not really going back there, are we?"

"Yes, we have to figure out what's going on," the Doctor didn't even bother knocking on the door and simply barged in. However, he came to a very ginger surprise inside. "Avalon? How'd you get in here?"

Avalon and Amy shook their heads in the same manner.

"It's not that difficult finding the home of a famous drunk," Amy said.

"Oh, but surprise," Avalon cut in, "I got struck by lightning...and I survived!"

Both the Doctor and Rory stared blankly at her, probably waiting for her to admit it was a joke. When Avalon said nothing, though, Rory broke the silence.

"No, sorry, did you just say you were struck by lightning?"

"Yeah, and I survived. I could be the next frikin Flash if you're not careful," Avalon huffed.

The Doctor rushed up to her and began inspecting her for any injury. "How did it happen?"

"I was getting some kid out of the way amongst the chaos that faulty Zeus created - by the way, what even was that?"

"A projection," Rory replied since he knew Amy was about to agree with the question. "Doctor's destroyed the projection already."

"Great, so we're done here?" Amy looked around for either Plato or Socrates. "Because no ofence but this place creeps me out."

"I've only destroyed the projection but we still have to find out who created it in the first place," the Doctor stopped with Avalon and gave her the 'okay'. "But you really have to tell me what happened. And where did you get that from?" he pointed to Avalon's newest accessory around her neck.

"Some lady gave it to me after I stood up for her to some soldiers," Avalon touched the pendant. "It's actually pretty sad. You know they're going to melt down some golden Athena statue just for war?"

"Actually," Amy said thoughtfully, "the woman who gave Avalon the necklace was arguing that they should keep the statue. Melting it down would cause fury from the Gods."

The Doctor turned in her direction. "Possible suspect?"

"Maybe…" Amy shrugged but Avalon outright refused.

"No!" she turned the Doctor back to her. "She was an old lady!"

"Let's not forget that old ladies have turned out to be aliens," Rory raised a finger to remind them of their past travels. "Evil aliens."

"Yeah, but, this one was actually an old lady," Avalon rolled her eyes. "Doctor, she's not a suspect. Look," she held out her talisman, "she gave me this because I stood up for her. Bad guys don't do that." The Doctor gazed at the talisman for the first time. He reached to touch it and grazed a finger over it. Avalon recognized his suspicious face and groaned. "Oh no, what now?"

"This isn't normal gold," he revealed and quickly pulled it over Avalon's head.

"Hey!" cried the ginger but he continued to examine it. "You better not lick it!"

"This is...this is what saved you from the lightning bolt," he turned to her with rapid, blinking eyes. "It saved your life."

Avalon smiled nervously because she didn't know what the hell was going on. "She just...she just gave it to me, though. How could she have known I would need it?"

"Maybe she didn't," the Doctor tossed the talisman back to her. "Maybe it was just coincidence."

"Okay, well, what do we do, then?" Amy asked.

"We gotta talk to that woman, first of all," Avalon made a face at her talisman.

"Where does she live?" the Doctor asked but of course no one knew the answer. "Great."

Someone cleared their throat and gained the group's attention. It was Plato, of course, who was gazing at the group of travelers with curiosity. "Shall I get you something to drink, or—"

The Doctor disregarded the question and strode up to him with the sense of urgency radiating off him. "Woman who owned this—" he raised the talisman, "—lives where?"

Plato took one gaze at the talisman and recognized it. "Calidora? The old woman crying Gods fury? She lives at the end of the market. But why-"

The Doctor turned away from him to start giving out the plan. "He's taking you—" he nodded to Amy and Rory, "—to find the woman."

"Uh, no, I'm going," Avalon raised a hand in the air. "She gave the talisman to me. It's my responsibility now."

"Alright fine," the Doctor didn't want to start a senseless argument with her. "But don't get struck by lightning anymore."

A smirk spread across Avalon's face. "Don't worry, next time I'm gonna get bit by a spider and then I'll be Spiderwoman."

The Doctor didn't find her amusing.

~0~

With Plato's help, Avalon and Amy found Calidora's house. They knocked and knocked but no one answered. Eventually, Plato kicked open the door and the trio hurried in.

What they found was not pleasing.

"Oh my God!" Avalon gasped and rushed to Calidora's unconscious body on the ground. She turned the woman on her back and checked for a pulse.

"Don't bother," Plato walked over to the table near them. He raised a couple of herbal leaves and shook his head. "She used hemlock."

"She killed herself?" Amy gaped. "But why would she do that!?"

To that, no one had the answer...yet.

~0~

The Doctor, Rory, and a half drunk Socrates arrived at the foundry where the metal of the Arena statue laid. Only after a minute of their arrival, there was a loud able on the ground. They rocked back and forth.

"What the hell is happening now!?" Rory clung to wall. He happened to look out the window and see the cause of the rumble. "Cyclops…"

"What!?" the Doctor scrambled to the window and saw a great big Cyclop heading for the city, along with same-sized Gargoyles and the famous Cereberus.

Socrates followed the two men and gawked at the window. "Have I finally drank too much!?"

"Doctor, how do we stop that!?" Rory panicked. "Amy and Avalon could get hurt there!"

The Doctor turned away from the window and began to pace, indicating his thought process was about to begin. He waved Calidora's talisman in the air and rambled about what they'd learned so far.

"What is he doing?" Socrates asked Rory who instantly shushed him.

"It's how he works."

The Doctor stopped pacing and ran over to the leftover metal. There was a poker covered by the metal. "Transmitter!" he exclaimed.

"Transmitter for what?" Rory made a face. "There's a transmitter in Ancient Greece?"

"Rory, perspective taking!" the Doctor waved a hand at the window where they could still see the great big monsters. "The metal can't be just metal. It's the same as the talisman and the talisman has to hold some sort of anti energy. If we use that I can disrupt whatever signal that is keeping those monsters."

He pulled out his sonic and stuck the talisman to the fire poker, making sure both were practically fused together. He then activated the required signal and let the energy burst from it. It went through roof and into the sky.

"Rory!?" the Doctor called, giving the order for Rory to see the status of their plan.

"I guess...uh...working!" Rory stared out the window and saw some of the creatures beginning to stop.

The Doctor decided to amplify the sonic's power and hopefully it would be enough to cut the signal to the monsters.

~ 0 ~

"Ancient Greece gets more and more interesting," Amy was the one staring out the window in Calidora's house. From there she could, much more upclose, the monsters threatening to bash them.

"I'll say," Avalon was sifting through some papers of Calidora with Plato. "I never thought I'd be reading a suicadal woman's suicide note."

"I think the Doctor's taking care of the monsters - or whatever the hell those things are," Amy turned away from the window. "So, what do we got over there?"

"Listen to this," Avalon gestured to the current paper in her hand. "Calidora wrote about a golden egg she found that fell from the sky…"

"That's not the golden egg story I've heard," Amy crossed her arms with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Definitely not," Avalon agreed then continued to explain. "Calidora thought the golden egg was like some gift from the Gods. She buried it - or most of it anyways - in the most sacred place of this city."

"Most of it?" both Amy and Plato repeated.

"She kept a part of the gold from the egg and her dad - a blacksmith - used some of it to make the statue of Athena we all know and most want to destroy."

"So she wasn't completely crazy then…" Plato blinked with honest surprise.

"After that, the little part of gold leftover was used to create the talisman she gave me."

"But that doesn't explain why she killed herself," Amy briefly glanced at the dead woman still on the ground.

"Amy, she was clearly upset over the statue being destroyed. No one else knew that it contained some special gold," Avalon sighed and gently put the letter down on the table. "So when the statue was destroyed she thought the Gods would reign hell on the city...so what's the solution?"

"She kills herself to appease the Gods," Plato answered before Amy could. "Sensible action but...not at all the one I would have taken."

"If she would have just said something…" Avalon lamented the woman's decisions.

"Stop," Amy said before Avalon's thoughts could go any further. "She would have done this either way. It's not on us."

Plato cleared his throat and set the rest of the papers on the table. "I believe this is all we're going to find here. It is best if we find the others."

Amy agreed with a nod. "Yeah, let's go."

The two started to walk out but Avalon doddled as she kept staring at Calidora. "I'm so sorry," the ginger whispered before following the others.

The moment they came out, they witnessed the sky once again thundering with rage. This time it was no image - a voice rang in every corner.

"War shall rain upon this city of sinners! Ares will come for you all!"

And, just like that, the voice went silent.

~ 0 ~

After reuniting in the shaken city, Avalon explained what they had discovered at Calidora's house - apart from finding the woman dead at her own hand.

"Golden egg?" Rory was as stumped as Amy had been after first hearing it. "I'm sorry are we sure we're in ancient Greece?"

"Why do you keep saying 'ancient' Greece?" Plato raised an eyebrow.

"Never mind that," the Doctor waved him off and focused on what he'd listened. "Okay, so strange alien—"

"Alien?" this time it was Socrates who interrupted him.

The Doctor groaned and waved an aggressive hand at him to keep quiet. "Strange alien egg falls from the sky and ordinary Greek woman finds it and buries it…"

"In the most sacred place of the city," Avalon helped out a bit.

"Sacred place…" the Doctor repeated, nodding his head, "...sacred...place…"

"Got to be the Acropolis, hasn't it?" Socrates spoke again and almost had the Doctor on him when the alien realized what Socrates said.

"You're right! It's got to be!" the Doctor beamed. "Alright then! Here's what we're going to do - we need to get that egg and cut off the signal it's still transmitting to the city."

"What's it transmitting exactly?" Plato wondered. The city had gone rather quiet after the first monsters disappeared.

"Well, you've got Zeus threatening war so what do you think is coming next for the city?" the Doctor left him to make the connection.

"Ares," Avalon shivered. "So, the God of War is coming for us all. Neat."

"But they're not real, can they actually hurt the city?" asked Amy.

"The monsters sure seemed capable to," Rory said.

"Okay, so we need to find that egg and then make sure Ares doesn't hurt anybody here," Amy nodded her head. "Split up again."

"We have to be careful about this," the Doctor warned them before they came up with anything else. "Now these Gods - they think they're real. It's the technology but...we still have to be careful."

"Is this a classic case of the computer has now got a mind of its own?" Amy offered as an alternative way to think about it. It would make a lot more sense.

"Yes," the Doctor decided to let them have it. "Shut down the conscious, you shut down everything else."

"I have no idea what you're talking about and I know it's not the drinks this time," Socrates' eyes bounced from one time traveler to the next.

"It's not," agreed Plato who was doing the same thing.

"Well, if we want to shut down the main consciousness - assuming it's Zeus - why not start by showing him that his war son isn't real?" And by the smile on Avalon's face, the others knew she'd come up with a plan.

Oh boy.

~ 0 ~

The Doctor and Socrates were the ones who made it to the acropolis. They did their ordinary search for the golden egg until the Doctor decided that it had to be specifically hidden. He whipped out his sonic and followed the telepathic link it was casting to produce 'Ares' out in Athens. It worked like a charm because in a minute or so, there was a faint beeping in the air.

"Where is it?" Socrates looked up into the sky but for once there was nothing.

"Not up there exactly…" the Doctor cautiously stepped forwards and raised the sonic higher.

There was a golden glow in midair between the men and, slowly, it came to be the golden egg.

"Wow…" Socrates gaped at the incredible sight. "Drinks aren't doing this, right?" he asked just to be sure.

"No," the Doctor rolled his eyes. "But, between us, it might be best to leave those alone."

The golden egg, which had unusually grown a bit, lowered down so that it was between the two men. The Doctor could see its blinking technological lights and decided to see what would happen if he would just...touch...one…

A white light engulfed him and Socrates.

~ 0 ~

Ares the God of War had kept his word and arrived to Athens with the full intention of destroying it. Already he had slaughtered a good portion of Athen's finest soldiers, so when a woman appeared on horseback he had to stop and see what the humans had concocted as a strategy plan.

Avalon had never felt so giddy playing war - actual war - and she knew it was a horrible thing to say. She held her head high and gazed at the fallen soldiers on the ground for a moment. Her icy blue eyes met the impatient ones of the God.

"You are a coward," she spat and immediately had his attention."You, the God of War you say you are, pleasing yourself by killing those weaker than you?" she had no idea how she was keeping her voice so high and mighty when the raging God was probably milliseconds from killing her.

"Humans are incredibly blank on the manner of war," Ares gestured to the scene around them. "Those who cannot battle should have never been alive in the first place. Shall you like to be the next victim?"

Avalon smirked. "That is if you can catch me, God."

"A game of catch? How amusing."

"Follow me and you will get to face the strongest warrior Athens has to offer," she pulled the whips of her horse and made a swift turn.

The God followed her.

~ 0 ~

"I don't suppose this was part of your plan?" Socrates asked with little hope to the Doctor beside him.

"Uh, no...no it wasn't," the Doctor released a breath.

The two men were tied to columns by the very Gods themselves. The Golden egg had brought them to 'Olympus' which was of course fake like the Gods. In front of them was Zeus, having a heated fight with more Gods - including Hermes, Aphrodite and Hephaestus.

"You have dishonored all of us by having your worshippers vanish!" Zeus kept saying at least every minute or so. "How could you fail me like this?"

"I don't understand what he means," Socrates whispered to the Doctor.

"The Golden egg was some kind of belief machine," the Doctor began to understand. "The more people believe - in this case - the Gods, the stronger they get...the more real they feel they are."

"Except we are not real, are we?" A female voice appeared in front of them. Her curly brown hair hung over her bare shoulders. Her white dress billowed even though there was no wind to make it so. Her eyes were on the Doctor, expecting to hear his confirmation. "Wisdom is my companion and I understand my situation."

"Athena?" the Doctor guessed with the little information he had so far.

Athena raised her head. "That is who I have been based upon. But my father does not see it." She turned around to watch as Zeus continued arguing with the rest of the Gods.

"How do you know you're not real?" Socrates inquired.

"Because every self conscious has to have a shred of self-preservation," the Doctor made his conclusion. "If the consciousness knows that it's in danger it will strive harder to make sure that people do continue to believe in order to keep itself alive."

"Doctor, I have no idea what you keep saying," Socrates sighed, but the Doctor just smiled.

"I'm quite used to that."

Athena turned to them again. "I do not wish to continue living a fake existence. Shut it down, I order you to."

The Doctor's smile faded.

~ 0 ~

"Pathetic human!" Ares roared after Avalon who still kept running on her horse. The ginger narrowed her eyes at the destination - the agora - where the next step of the plan was to be implemented.

"You'll be the first to die among the soldiers!" Ares promised her but it made no effect on her. He finally caught up in the agora where Avalon had stopped. He mused at the seemingly empty place. "Where is your famous, powerful soldier? Who is he?"

Avalon smiled smugly. "My grandfather. And fair warning, he's had 2000 years of experience."

Ares raged all over again. Avalon laughed and got out of the way to reveal Rory, holding out a sword and looking very much prepared for battle.

"Let's do this," the ex-Roman Centurion declared.

~0~

"I said to shut it down!" Athena swiftly pulled the bindings on the Doctor and Socrates and grabbed the Doctor by the collars. "Do you understand how awful it is to live knowing you are not real? I would rather be dead than continue another minute like this! Shut. It. Down!"

The Doctor pried her fingers off him and stepped back, fixing his jacket and bowtie. "I can't, not unless Zeus over there—" he nodded to the God, "—admits to it. He's the main stream of belief in this system."

Athena growled and faced her father. "You hear that? You must accept the reality!"

Zeus had only forgone his argument to make sure the two intruders were taken care of. "They only wish to play with your mind, Athena. Do not let them." Athena seemed ready to implode. "I have asked, and asked, and asked, for you to accept it. We are not real. We are...we are the fashion things of humans. Let us rest, father."

Zeus shook his head at her. "You are done defying me, Athena."

"Excuse me," the Doctor spoke up with a finger raised in the air. "If you would like some concrete evidence of your, uh, nonexistence...my wife and friends are on it."

Athena side glanced him and rather annoyed at the information he failed to provide her with. However, Zeus, although amused by such a statement, was admittedly curious.

"Oh, really? And how would you ever prove that I am not real?"

"By destroying the God of War," the Doctor gave a wry smile.

~0~

Rory was having his day fighting off Ares, the God of War, but was also acknowledging the fact the nonexistent man was a bit quick on his feet.

"Get him Rory!" Amy shouted from the sides where she and Avalon watched.

"It's a bit harder than it looks!" Rory grunted when he fell back to the ground.

"Are we late?" Plato came running up to the two women. With him came a pack of Athen's last soldiers just like the plan demanded.

"No, now go!" Avalon pointed the other men to the battle.

"Are you mad, woman!?" One man snapped with fear.

"We'll be killed!" said another.

"Is this why you brought us here?" A third man grabbed Plato by the arm and turned him around. "For our deaths?"

"Oh my God, he's not real!" Amy exclaimed without context. She gestured at Ares who was now having to dodge Rory's sword. "He's not an actual God! You'll be fine!"

But still, the men didn't budge. They nervously watched as Rory jumped to the side to avoid being cut in half.

~0~

Zeus laughed at the duel the Doctor projected for him and the other Gods. "This is you making your point, Doctor? Sending a human to his assured death?"

The Doctor didn't listen to him. He stared at the projection and kept his hope on Rory. "C'mon, Rory, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon…"

~0~

Ares pinned Rory against a cracked pillar. His sword was grazing Rory's chest. "Any last words, human?"

Rory didn't seem worried about his situation. "Yes," he nodded cleanly. "Say 'ow' if you're not real." His words confused Ares but when Rory stuck his sword directly through Ares' armored leg, Ares screamed. The sword had gone right through him.

"But how did his sword get through the armor?" One of the men asked with utter confusion.

"Because the armor isn't real!" Amy repeated. "Because he's not real!"

"So go!" Avalon pointed them frantically towards the scene. "Finish the job!"

There was no more hesitation among the soldiers. They ran into the battle and finished the job much. Their swords plunged through Ares' body till he was no more.

"That...is gruesome…" Rory went around the soldiers as quickly as possible and ran back to his wife and granddaughter.

~0~

"You see, father?" Athena made the Doctor turn the projection off. She faced her stunned father with the same urgency she'd met the Doctor and Socrates first. "Ares was defeated by humans and their regular swords. We cannot be real if we are this weak."

Realization flashed across Zeus' face. "I...we are not real. Then...what are we?"

"You're a projection of the humans' beliefs," the Doctor quietly explained. "This—" he gestured to the scene around them, "—is just a machine doing its job of creating. A ship must have dropped it on a scavenging trip."

"Please," Athena asked him once more, "shut it down."

The Doctor looked at Zeus to see what he said mow. It all depended on him anyways.

"Do it, Doctor," Zeus finally spoke again. "Shut us down."

The Doctor nodded and stepped back, motioning Socrates behind him. He aimed the sonic above and finally was able to interrupt the signal. Once the Gods began to crumble to dust, he and Socrates made their escape.

~0~

"You're telling me all this trouble was caused by that?" Plato was both awed and irritated at the now small golden egg in the Doctor's hand. They were standing just outside the TARDIS, ready to go.

The Doctor chuckled and gave the egg a careless toss to the air. "It was just doing its job."

"Who sent it, then?" asked Amy. "And should we be tracking them?"

"Nah, this thing was left years ago, careless mistake," the Doctor was about to put the golden egg away in his pocket when Avalon seized it.

"So you're telling me if I believe hard enough, Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty will become real? Oh — Or Robin Hood!? Man I'd love to meet him!" Her excited face did not appeal to the Doctor.

"You're married," he said flatly, in case she'd forgotten.

"Yeah, yeah," Avalon waved him off, much to his dismay. "So could it happen?"

The Doctor snatched the egg back and frowned. "You're not funny!"

"Let's just go before you get into an argument," Rory took Avalon into the TARDIS.

"What is that exactly?" Plato couldn't stop staring at the blue box in wonder. He started to circle it in question.

"Thank you Doctor, for reminding me of the possibilities of the world," Socrates said, clear as day.

The Doctor smiled at the man. "Does this mean less drinking?"

"Definitely," Socrates chuckled.

The Doctor and Amy walked into the TARDIS, leaving Socrates to witness the machine disappear.

"Plato, I believe we should get back to work," Socrates said with newfound determination. However, the other man never spoke up to agree nor disagree. "Plato?" Socrates looked around for his student but Plato just wasn't there.

From a distance stood a little girl with black hair, dressed in modern school uniform. Chiyoko's face broke into a smile at the scene. Socrates was growing more panicked by the minute. Plato would not be returning anytime soon.

#ocfairygodmother #fd: doctor who #doctor who #11th doctor #dw fics #dw imagines #11th doctor fics #11th doctor imagines #doctor who fics #doctor who imagines #11th doctor x oc #doctor who x oc #dw x oc #oc: Avalon Reynolds #fic: Written in the Stars

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jaydonsjam · 1 year

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Tomb of Dracula IX

Tomb of Dracula #19-21

Tomb of Dracula #19-21 writer: Marv Wolfman | penciler: Gene Colan | inker: Tom Palmer

Wow! This series just keeps getting better! Blade turns out to be immune to vampire bites due to him getting some vampire blood when he was in his mother’s womb. I was sad to see him leave but I’m assuming he’ll be back. The Dr. Sun storyline finally comes to an end (for now?) with Lucas Brand being turned to ash. Dracula and Rachel Van Helsing go on an escapade in the Swiss Alps. Lucas Brand and Dracula fight in Sun’s laboratory and it turns out to be a pretty good battle between vampires for the title of King of Vampires! Dracula dies! But actually he turns out to survive the lab explosion by flying off and laughing! It’ll be interesting to see what Frank Drake and the rest of our heroes do now that they believe Dracula to be dead.

Dr. Sun’s evil plan is to lead an army of vampires using Brand to take over the world! He also turned out to be a brain in a box which was an interesting enough development. That wasn’t what I expected but makes sense since we didn’t see him until this story arc. I will say that Sun’s plan is a little convoluted and the idea that he needs a lot of blood to survive to be a little coincidental but it explains his interest in vampires. There’s yet another g-slur drop so be aware of that. Gene Colan’s continues to be my favorite artist working in this period (although Sal Buscema and Mike Ploog are challengers to that title) and a master of the horror aesthetic. What can I say about Wolfman that hasn’t already been said? He’s one of the best comic book writers ever and I continue to love his writing for this book. I would’ve liked more Quincy and Taj in this arc but I assume they have more to do later. There is still like fifty issues left for me to read. I only hope that Frank doesn’t die because I love his character and journey. Also, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned his relationship with Rachel but it really works for me. Rachel has a lot of cool moments in issue #19 when she’s stuck by herself with Dracula. I love her. Yeah, I just really enjoy this book besides the awful accents written into the dialogue and various offensive cultural stuff that are definitely prevalent in this 70’s era. So be wary of that if you plan on reading this book. I’ve always never mentioned this but I don’t like the writing style that has the characters describing the action and their choices through actual speaking moments and thoughts throughout these books. But that’s the writing style from this era. Also there’s a recap of events in every single issue where characters describe what happened before that still bothers me. It’s fine when it’s the first page recap but it often happens throughout the issues. But again that’s a common problem in every book from this era and I can see these issues making it hard for people to get through. Other than that, I loved the climax to this Dr. Sun arc that feels like it’s been building for 10+ issues and I was happy to see the conclusion (for now). Next up is Hellstrom!

#marvel #marvel comics #70’s comics #70s comics #horror comics #tomb of dracula #vlad dracula #count dracula #dracula #frank drake #Rachel van helsing

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nochi-quinn · 8 months

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candela obsura chapter 2 episode .5: YOU get a body and YOU get a body

(I made a post about this on @nochiquinn but I've been having weird overstim fatigue every night around this time and it's been fucking with my ability to watch CR bc of time zones.)

I swear I've been watching base CR lately but I either get sick halfway through or too sleepy to finish and it's extremely frustrating

(spoiler from the future: guess what happened!!)

I'm hoping I can finish this; we all know how I am about New People

"he's laying on his left side" his right side has been teleported elsewhere

"a child" "no"

and now all I can think of is Latinos Against Spooky Shit

rub some Vicks on a chancla and smack the kid with it one good time and they'll stop seeing ghosts

"a coat" "no"

"travis it's been three minutes"

quick describe it as the ring girl for max travis startle points

I think there was at least one hallucination shot in The Old Man like this

travis: excuse me no thank you

oh I thought it was gonna be the eye thank god

I can handle blood eagle I do not do eye gore

travis: it's fine I'm fine

aw, the bb :(

marisha's wig

oh I know who she looks like, she looks like the pigeon lady from home alone

"the fuck tom cruise shit is this"

I believe this was also a sequence in red dead redemption 2

his art looks like baby chris pine

maybe dacre montgomery

I love his accent

oh fuck I'm now only picturing doctor insano on top of a train

if you understand that reference I'm so sorry

he hits the engine, it explodes and everybody dies, GNC

"I see it coming" is he within ten feet of me

he IS within ten feet of him

"soak that body" that's what she said

brought a pocketwatch to a gun fight

"a knife" "NO"

ZAP ZAP KNIFE

I made one of those in dead island

oh no I love beatrix

not wild about him interrupting what seemed to be player description and not IC dialogue

renegade interrupt, kick avery under the train

robbie?

"the best defense is not opening your fucking mouth in the first place"

that's actually pretty cool

oh no he heat metal'd himself

I'm only picturing the equalist mooks from korra

travis gnc

we're not even an hour in, how much damage is he gonna have them take

yeah I know their own choices and maybe I'm just used to how matt does damage but taking multiple damage types at once feels final boss-y not Multiple Mooks In The Opening Scene

[point-and-click voice] these are chickens!

"there's guns in the chickens!"

bawk bawk motherfucker

MAGIC CHICKENS

throw the glowing chicken like a cucco

"these are going right down my pants"

okay I figured out my problem, it feels like every time they try to do something clever or inventive, they get hit with a truck.

I know mixed success means "success with a cost" but the cost is Too Damn High

well that's a fucking bomb

"first hour down to the bone" I FUCKING WONDER WHY, he risks getting fucking decapitated by a 5

don't fucking do that, they're gonna slam together and - this guy is a bad train driver

everything is fine (lie)

she gets a 5 on the sway roll and takes three brain

#critical role #spoilers #crititag #liveblog #reaction post #candelatag

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almsspring2023 · 1 year

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Watching Moving Pictures

From documentaries and videos to TV-series and movies, the audiovisual experience is a good way to learn about English in practice and in culture.

I do watch all kinds of stuff regularly, but for ALMS I tried to add some extra challenge to spice it up. Sometimes I watched without subtitles for better hearing practice. On a few occasions I did something I almost never do and switched to Finnish subtitles. I never actually watch anything with the Finnish subtitles on unless it’s the only choice available, I’ve been using English subtitles for ages. The reason is that the Finnish the subtitles often differ from the original dialogue – for practical and perfectly understandable reasons, but as I understand the spoken English pretty effortlessly, it starts bothering me if the translation is too awkward! But with the Finnish subtitles on I tried to really grasp the meanings of even the more difficult words and think about the translation choices.

I watched most of the stuff by myself but it's also more fun to watch stuff with friends, so sometimes I bullied my friends into discussing in English with me while we watched something together. I watched a lot of stuff and listing it all would be hard, but here’s my picks.

When the course started the documentary film festival DocPoint was also conveniently taking place. I tend to watch a few documentaries there every year, it’s a great place to see documentaries from all kinds of places, especially eastern European and Asian countries. I really appreciate good documentaries but personally don’t like the American style of documents all. Those are most readily available, though. With DocPoint my main issue is too many movies I want to see, too little time (and money)! Very few of them are easily available outside of the festival. Most of the documentaries don’t have Finnish subtitles at all. There might be English subtitles or none at all, so good enough English comprehension is a prerequisite. This year I ended up seeing two documentaries from there, Manifesto and Killing of a Journalist.

Manifesto (2022) was entirely in Russian with English subtitles. It’s a very rough documentary of the life of Russian children and teens form their perspective. It’s compiled of videos the kids have filmed themselves of their day-to-day life and some picked off of social media. It is heartbreaking to see how life is for some of them out in the provinces and how the Russian oppression works from a very young age. This movie definitely isn’t for sensitive people. There are some really shocking and awful parts that might upset some.

The second movie I saw was called The Killing of a Journalist (2022) and was about the murder of a young investigative journalist and his fiancée in Slovakia. This movie was partially in English with no subtitles and some Slovakian parts which were subtitled in English. It was an interesting documentary about a politically charged assassination and the investigation of it in a seemingly modern democratic European country you wouldn’t think these kinds of things happened in. This murder happened in 2018 – just a few years ago. Behind it was organized crime closely tied to the corrupt government. Very alarming, to say the least. This documentary was good language practice as well, as it had some complex judicial and political terminology. The spoken English had an interesting Slovak accent.

I also watched some shorter YouTube documentaries. For example, one was about a Cuban man who had been abused in a cult as a kid and later faced so enough trouble to burn down his own house. I also ended up watching some American and British ones. An interesting one that was somewhat close to my studies was a video about le Plessis Robinson in southwestern Paris. It’s a commune that was completely revamped from older, ugly and cheap concrete blocks to a beautifully ornate and verdant neighborhood. This was a costly, slow affair and required thinking beyond the four-year term of a city official. It also raises the questions of gentrification – the poor who couldn’t afford to live there had to move out and only some of the cheaper city housing that had already been there stayed.

I could discuss all the different aspects of this for hours, but I’ll try to be brief here. While the video raised some good points about the negative sides of the whole affair, it did keep it a bit too simplified and through somewhat rose-tinted glasses. But to be genuine I don’t think people talk about the beauty everyone should deserve to live in enough. Even in Helsinki I think most can agree it’s the more ornate Jugend neighborhoods in southern Helsinki that are the prettiest and most pleasant to walk around compared to modern simple steel-and-glass buildings. All of this is of course also tied to the price tag as well as owning versus renting and how that redistributes wealth. It also highlights the issue of short-sightedness on the decision-makers’ behalf, as they usually only serve until the next electoral period. As I said, I could go on forever about this, but I’ll stop here.

I did also watch a bunch of movies and TV series. On the earlier post about the Challenge Group I already mentioned I watched the movie Dog Day Afternoon. I also pasted my review there if you want to know my opinion on it (spoiler: it’s really good). I also watched other movies, such as The Goodfellas and Bad Times at the El Royale. The latter was okay. Entertaining enough, pretty Hollywood. Nothing revolutionary, though. I did like the Goodfellas, which I hadn’t seen before. It’s also fun listening-wise, as it’s narrated by the protagonist throughout. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was an interesting movie as well. It had a lot of very outlandish scenes to follow.

Many of the hours were spent on watching different TV series. One of the series I watched was Better Call Saul. The dialogue in that show is great and it has some good judicial words, too. I also watched The Good Place, which is a comedy show about the afterlife but really about philosophy. The philosophy is pretty simplified and dumbed down, though, and some of the characters were very annoying. I powered through, in any case. The newer series Last of Us was something I also watched. I was familiar with the game already, but while I’ve seen differing opinions on it, mine is that the TV series is better. It’s an imagination of what life would be like if such a radical catastrophe would occur and it’s a story about the people in it. It wasn’t my favorite, but it was okay.

Overall, watching something gives the visual aspect compared to any audio-only media which I personally like to have. There are all kinds of stuff to watch, and while documentaries are more factual, I think one can learn from fiction just as well when it comes to language. Even with documentaries good media literacy is important. In fiction, cultural aspects and such are often exaggerated and it’s good to know when that is and to not believe everything at its face value. Everything is always told through the lens of the creators, who are human. This is a positive and a negative at the same time. Human limitations apply, but there is the aspect of the creators themselves put into all of their work that makes it different from others' work.

What I just wanted to say was I think I gained a lot from all the stuff I’ve watched, information but also language-learning-wise. It’s fun to listen to different accents and how language is used in different places. If you want to learn words around a certain theme, watching a video on it wouldn’t be a bad idea! I watched a lot of stuff on things I was already interested in and also things that had a lot of stuff I didn’t maybe expect going in. For watching, I used around 23 hours.

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nettlestonenell · 4 years

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Armie Hammer wants a sequel to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—shouldn’t you?

This post is a long time in coming, Gentle Readers and @jammeke, but now, though it might be here, before your very eyes, to think it will be well-laid out would be a mistake. It’s set to be just about as messy as Ilya’s misplaced loyalties and murky motivations.

How dare!

I probably first watched this film well over a year ago (courtesy @jammeke posting things about it). I used Sling OnDemand (I think on TNT). In the ensuing viewings I also watched it in that way, but as I was sitting down for a fourth(?) viewing, it kept coming to me that I was tired of watching it with commercials I couldn’t skip, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had been edited for time and I was missing out on scenes. [pointless aside: I was also watching the film in chunks, and never as a whole]

Where is she now? What’s the time stamp? How far along did she get? Are you shagging the hotel hostess yet?

So, I, uh, set out to buy it on DVD—without any luck! In the sense that copies I could find cost more (w/ shipping) than buying it to stream. So, I bought it to stream on Amazon. Do I regret my choice, Gentle Readers? No, no I don’t. I do regret burden of knowledge in learning that TNT was already playing the entirety of the film. That was a hard pill to swallow.

Nope, I’ve looked. That’s absolutely everything. Nothing additional lurking around here...

So here it is, as it is, @jammeke, “My Notes on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”

Look, I don’t know what this film is. I probably can’t fully articulate its appeal. Or maybe I can--certainly after transcribing four page I’ve tried. Number One thing to know about me and fiction/films is that a top draw for me is seeing something out of the ordinary, such as beautiful locations, a historical era, delicious costumes. There are times, frankly, this can trump weak story and undefined character for me. (The best films, of course, combine all three) Certainly, The Man... delivers in the delight of the eyes. Additionally, I must confess that growing up as a person older than @reblogginhood but younger than Miss Fisher, so much of what was on TV was essentially reruns of this film’s iconic Look(tm). So, when I see women dressed like Gaby I am just another three-to-seven-year-old overcome with the drop dead glamour of it all.

Darling, tell me how you really feel...

Some questions I have:

· IS Armie Hammer a hulk of a man? Everyone in this film seems to think so, yet he always tracks to me as trim (rather than hulking)

· Why translate via captions some Russian speaking, but not all?

· IS Napoleon’s backstory directly cribbed from USA’s White Collar?

· DOES Gaby have a German accent?

· Does Ilya get preternaturally attached to all the people he’s ordered to look after? Also, what is his bonding rate with kittens?

Sorry, wrong iteration.

· If Lady Villain knows the lens is wrong—if her technical understanding is that in-depth--does she really need Gaby’s dad to make the bomb?

· How old was Gaby during the war?

· What happens when Ilya gets a NEW puppy assigned to him? (please let this be addressed in film #2)

Hooray for:

· That bathroom fight! *all the Burn Notice feels!

· Gaby is her own lady, and chooses sides as necessary—not always unilateral in her support for either male character. Case in point: she sides with Ilya over the clothes, and Napoleon over the incident of the wallet.

· That delicious (speaking as Rusty, here) Ocean’s 11-stylized action. It’s pretty, so I’m not bored with it. Sometimes a sandwiched montage gets shown, so I’m REALLY not bored. I’ve got 18 tiny moving boxes of things to look at!

· Pinkie rings. There, you’ve told me everything I need to know about that character.

· Solo in a beret. English has not yet found a word for the feeling it evoked in this viewer. Somewhere between ‘precious’ and ‘oh, no’.

See, there? Now you’ve felt it too.

· Goggles! All the accessories! Dune Buggies! (I mean, that’s what I’m calling Napoleon’s chase-scene ride)

Things I adore:

· It seems (after some research) that more than a few folks view Gaby as a third wheel, and though she’s not exactly a Princess Leia commandeering her own rescue and exuding competence and a deserved take-charge-attitude at every corner, she IS a foci for both male characters (though romantically it would seem only for one), just as Ilya is a foci for both her and Napoleon [no one seems to worry about Napoleon, though they should--film #2, anyone?]

· Mechanic Gaby not needing a beauty makeover, or being dragged into one. She gets some nice clothes, but it’s never suggested that she’s not attractive or acceptable before putting them on, and I respect, nay, embrace it.

Oh, my heart. She’s still not as tall as them!

· Ilya, drab pigeon Ilya, knowing fashion

· Oh man, don’t even get me started on the power of the statement, “it doesn’t have to match”

· You knew it was coming on this sublist: the wrestle-fight. I mean, c’mon. Poor little Gaby, locked behind the Iron Curtain, living a life of always being watched. She’s in the swankest hotel (I mean, Napoleon chose it, so we can be sure it’s swank with an E). She’s trying to celebrate her freedom, her liberation. She’s playing verboten music, she’s drinking to excess. Girl wants—and deserves—a party. And Ilya is…not built for that (that he knows of). For some fun, just imagine if she had been given Napoleon to room with instead.

o I will say that this scene, and some of their other interactions have what I would call early (non-sibling) Luke and Leia energy. Ilya seems to have moments of being struck by Gaby in a way Luke is struck by Leia in the early part of the trilogy. When Leia takes charge, and Luke accepts it. When Leia does something incredible, and Luke is left open-mouthed. *no, I don’t see OT Star Wars in everything. Shut up.

· “He fixed the glitch.”

· Again, shout-out to the non-action action.

· “I left my jacket in there.”

· The whole race to rescue Gaby I am in love with beyond words. [I have noted it as “Crazy Jeep Drive with Warhead!”] Probably b/c it comes across as totally egalitarian. Both men want her rescued. They’re no longer in competition. It’s just as important to Napoleon as it is to Ilya to catch up to her. Also, it is bonkers, like some sort of X-games version of a commercial for the vehicles they’re driving. And screaming Willie Scott does not make an appearance.

Someone says “winkle” out.

· Look! Another note about the screen divisions and how I love it, shout-outs to the original Steve McQueen The Thomas Crown Affair (a contemporary of when this movie is meant to be set), and TV’s 24.

Things that get a great, big NOPE:

· Jerrod Harris: you’ve been in so much streamable content in the last decade I can’t hate you, but frankly, you’re terrible here—unless you’re supposed to be giving a mannered, not-campy-enough-to-be-enjoyable performance here. Your American English puts me in the mind of Alex Hawaii 5-0′Loughlin where it feels you’re concentrating so hard on your accent that you fail to convince anyone that you’re a harried, over-worked and exasperated spy handler. Your performance is at odds with every bit of dialogue you’re given to say.

· That awful, mishandled title that doesn’t even connect to the film until the final moments (a sequel set-up, for sure)

· Look, you don’t introduce Hugh Grant casually mid-way through your film in a throwaway appearance. I mean, he’s HUGH GRANT we all know something’s up now.

· This is not exactly a great big NOPE, b/c I love a flat cap, Tommy Shelby—but I feel like a less tall man with a far rounder face in a flat cap would track more as Russian to me that AH does. To me, he just looks like he’s about to go golfing.

Over par? Unacceptable!

· Is Victoria a British-accented Italian? A British woman who married—what? Gaby’s uncle isn’t Italian!? An Italian who went to school in Britain? My head hurts. Also, is her hair meant to be unconvincingly bleached?

Other commentary:

· Napoleon’s adult ne’er-do-well backstory is so far from being emotionally equivalent to Ilya’s childhood trauma [and his enslavement to the USSR] it seems bestial when he calls it out on multiple occasions. Badly done, Solo.

· Gaby is the film’s key (sorry, Buffy fans). Everyone is connected to her. Yes, she could have been given a bit more on the character front, but I don’t see her as as much of a flaw in the film as some others/reviewers seem to.

· Look, essentially (and not very nuanced-ly), Ilya is a stalker. I think the film goes a certain distance in establishing that his early behavior toward Gaby is not normal, but concurrently it does not truly call him out on it. He’s essentially viewed as an odd-duck, sure, but not a true threat to her (should she not reciprocate or tolerate his intensity toward her). I think I might be able to cite his behavior when Gaby comes on to him (that he doesn’t jump at a chance with her) that maybe he’s given a little more nuance than a straight-on stalker, and it helps that he and Napoleon never get into a pissing match over Gaby’s person, only over her new clothes. But overall the film has to walk a fine line (and the jury is still out on how successful it is, I’d say) between playing Ilya’s laser-like attention to Gaby for its humor, and calling it out for the unsettling, threatening behavior it is.

· Honestly, it wasn’t until I engaged the Closed Captioning that I understood Napoleon was calling Ilya the ‘Red Peril’. So, that was nearly three viewings in.

· I give the screen credits A+, on both ends. Not to mention the end credits are actually INTERESTING with lots to see and learn! (Certainly we learn more about HG in them than we do at any time during the film)

Things I would have liked:

· More of fish-out-of-the-Iron-Curtain Gaby moments

· A better dichotomy shown of East vs. West Berlin/Germany. There’s nothing easy either visually or otherwise to distinguish the two.

· HC being given a more specific American accent (from an actual locality). This, for an American viewer, works better than the flat, unlocated American accent many a British actor will bust out. *Mind you, HC does a generally good job, but he fails utterly on both “Immediate” which he pronounces at least twice as “immeedeejt” [rather than imm-E-deeot] and “Nazi” as “NAHT-zee” [rather than “NOT-zee”]. And let’s not get started on that late in the film use of ‘earnt’, a word that—well, it’s just not in the American English twentieth century lexicon.

· C’mon. You gotta tease the Hugh Grant more.

· Solo is a blank before the war. I’ve read thoughts on the film calling out Gaby as the blank character, but they’re wrong. Solo is the blank. He’s the ‘made’ man, his identity seemingly assembled during the war and after. For example, he doesn’t go into the war a thief, nor (it would seem) a particularly educated or urbane individual. Now THAT’s a juicy backstory I’d love to learn about, perhaps in film #2--or #3? What creates a Napoleon Solo? What would he be doing if he weren’t on the government’s leash/incarcerated? Is anyone left caring about him back wherever he calls home? I mean, who doesn’t love a gender-flipped 60s-era Holly Golightly backstory? [And yes, I would love there to be an ex-wife or even a current wife mixed up in his origins as well—Guy Ritchie, call me!]

Notes I have that I’m not sure if they still make sense to me:

· Only mom calls me Napoleon (do he say it ‘mum’?) Is he a secret Canadian?

· Solo’s torture, 1st view recall Napoleon’s childhood? *I think this means that after watching the first time I somehow erroneously believed that during the torture Napoleon’s childhood was a topic gone over. This was wrong. HOWEVER, this would have made far more story-sense than the backstory we’re given on an easily disposeable villain.

· “Even the average Russian agent. You’re special.” ?

· Uncle is Baddie (*so glad I made this note to myself)

· Ilya’s dad IS an embarrassment. I’m not sure what genius commentary I had in my mind, here. Perhaps that Ilya himself is embarrassed of him? Not just Ilya’s handler’s? [Also, aside: Napoleon totally slut-shames Ilya’s mom, which is the doublest of double standards from ‘I got myself the biggest and most ornate suite b/c I-wanted-plenty-of-space-for-my-random-seductions’ and I really wish Ilya had thrown that back in his face] *yes, of course I know that Ilya and Napoleon would not likely equate a wife/mother’s sexual exploits with that of Solo’s, but let’s be honest, this film tweaks the nose of (I won’t say reverses, it doesn’t go that far) plenty of tropes and gender expectations, and this certainly seems like a missed opportunity to call Solo on the carpet (which I hope film #2 does far more)

Things I wrote down so long ago I don’t recall what they mean:

· CC-save

In conclusion:

What does film #2 look like? What title does it get? Will the Peter/Neil White Collar dynamic continue to grow? *note that I have no confidence a second film will ever come to pass...

In the end, all I know is, “It didn't help when American Tom Cruise, who was slated to play U.S. spy Napoleon Solo, dropped out, prompting the casting of Cavill (who had previously read for the Russian role).“ I would not have watched that film.

#tmfu #tmfu 2015 #ilya kuryakin #napoleon solo #gaby teller #henry cavill #armie hammer #alicia vikander #the man from uncle 2015 #the man from u.n.c.l.e.#the man from uncle #i don't know what this film's tags are meant to be to keep it from popping up in the TV series searches Sorry

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ardentprose · 4 years

Text

Cold Brew - Prologue

This is my attempt at the old coffee shop cliche. I’m warning you now, my writer’s block is strong. But I will tell you this story to the best of my abilities.

*I don’t own the gifs.

*Dialogue: English will be in standard font while Korean will be italicized.

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Slow-Burnish, Romance

Warnings: Language (if more are found, please message me)

Summary: Going to an American college for music was an opportunity Min Yoongi could not pass up. Despite the comments about his eyes and accent, he’s determined to make it through the semester and prove himself to his parents back home. After an awkward but fateful conversation, Yoongi finds himself crushing hard for a girl he only has so many weeks to confess to. If he will at all.

November

He sits at a table shoved against a wall, his mind concentrated on chasing down the train of thoughts bustling through his mind before it escapes him. His hand scurries across the page, the inevitable pain slowly rising in his wrist as the pen audibly scratches through the journal. Now and then, his left hand brushes the pale hair settling on his eyelashes. The brim of round wire glasses faithfully slides down the smooth bridge of his nose and so his fingers are kept busy with this task as well.

In the past hour, the bell has jingled a hundred times, the voices of patrons intermingling with the whistling espresso machines and clank of the register drawer. It’s background noise easily tuned out, and yet with an uncanny sense, when the bell chimes again announcing a new arrival, Yoongi slams his journal closed, slipping it into the safe cavern of his backpack.

He pulls out his English Composition 101 textbook and the accompanying black spiral notebook to set on the table.

She slides into the chair across from him, her sweet perfume cutting through the ever present aroma of coffee. The soft thud of her messenger bag accompanies her warm tone.

“Yoongi.” His eyes train on his notebook, watching the veins in his hand flicker as he opens the massive textbook to the current chapter. Only after finding the correct page does he looks up at her and her awaiting smile. That brief moment of delay does nothing to prepare his heart as it skips twice, taking in her shining eyes, rosy cheeks, and chapped lips parted for him.

“Hey.” He swallows the strain in his vocal chords, hoping to disguise their fragility with a long sip of his cold brew.

“How are you? Did you get any sleep last night?” She asks as she leans forward and slips out her winter coat. She drapes it over the back of her chair, left in a hoodie dyed the navy blue of the university.

“The same.” He mumbles, licking the aftertaste from his lips and anticipating the crinkle in her brow.

“Yoongi, you have to learn to go to bed! It’s not healthy to skip sleep. One of these days you’re going to collapse from exhaustion.”

“I have...too much work.” He reasons, watching the lavender scarf she claims to have knit herself unravel around her neck. She leans over to stuff it into her bag and then gives him a glare.

“We all have too much work to do, Yoongi. You need to sleep.”

Why does she keep saying my name? He muses, intrigued and yet horrified at the electricity that shoots through him every time he hears her say the familiar syllables.

“And you?” He chides, watching her momentarily cover a cough and then sniff. “You gonna catch a cold.”

“No, I’m not. I was just outside.” She shakes her head, tugging out her own textbook and note-taking utensils.

"Your voice is scratchy. That wouldn’t happen if you drank the warm honey water like I told you to.” Yoongi says.

“Yeah, well...” She sighs, and her eyes flicker to his along with a guilty smile. Despite her age, youth couldn’t prevent the exhausted wrinkles creasing under her eyes.

“Let’s both agree to take better care of ourselves. You go ahead and start, I’m going to order some tea.”

“I got it.” Yoongi says, allowing her to remain in her seat, albeit with a confused expression. He waves his hand above her head, catching the eye of the barista, who nods and disappears behind the kitchen. He returns promptly with a porcelain tea cup on a saucer, setting it down in front of her wide eyes.

“Thank you!” She glances from the barista to Yoongi, blinking several times at the steaming cup of tea.

“Let’s get started.” Yoongi clears his throat, taking another sip, and flipping open his notebook to the next blank page.

She hums, taking a careful sip of the spiced chai she so dearly craves. Soon, they slip into routine silence and time passes as it always does. She explains the English language in a patient voice, sometimes reaching over with her pen to point out a particular word or phrase. He writes it down, taking note of her correction and the way his knuckles burn when she grazes them in proximity. The atmosphere is calm and productive, and Yoongi can’t help but notice the contrast between the silent companionship in the café to the initial meeting they had only a mere three months ago.

September

He had just arrived in America, via a Student Visa and Study Abroad program. Though he had only spent three weeks at most on campus, he quickly realized the color of his skin and the accent of his words was evidence enough to attach numerous stereotypes to his character, most of which he had never heard of before in his life. The American students would clap him on the shoulder in class, asking if he could check their math homework. The teachers would speak to him in a patronizingly slow English, as if he had a mental issue, not a language barrier. A fair share of giggling girls with pretty Asian men tucked into phone cases would ask for his number, but struggle pronouncing his name. The worst of it came from the frat boys who, though having never seen his crotch, assumed it was lacking in comparison to their superior American-made crotches. It was by that time, Yoongi decided that save for the incredible opportunity it was to study music in America, the rest of it could burn in hell.

The only one stopping him from taking the next ticket back to South Korea was his roommate Hoseok, who came over on a dance scholarship the year before. Having acclimated for one year to American college life, Hoseok tried to convince Yoongi on a daily basis that not all Americans were as ignorant as they let on. However, it still took Hoseok disconnecting Yoongi’s laptop from the school Wi-Fi on a particularly climatic night in order to convince him to stay in America - at least until the end of the semester.

That being said, Yoongi had, fair or not, formed a prejudice against American students and avoided them at all costs. Ironically, it was this mindset that caused him to open his mouth, one picnic table away, and comment on some American’s awful pronunciation of his native tongue.

The soon to be victim was sitting at the picnic table next to his sitting with a presumably Korean girl.

“I haven’t gotten it down perfectly, but I definitely know how to have a basic conversation.”

“Really? Show me, show me!” Her loud volume caught Yoongi’s attention, which up until now had been focused on the next four measures under his pencil.

Having forgotten his earbuds in his dorm, he was left with no other choice but to eavesdrop.

“How are you?" The friend immediately asked and Yoongi could hear her smile in the eager question.

“I’m great! How are you?” The American responded.

A frown wrinkles Yoongi’s brow. He understood her words, but the pronunciation was slightly jarring, as if she was talking with rocks in her mouth.

“Very good!” The native encouraged and asked her what her career is, a basic introduction that any stranger would ask.

“College study gift. I’m study music and singer.“ Stumbling and humming her way through the sentence, Yoongi can’t help but snicker, holding his knuckles to his grin.

“Yes!” Expecting a correction, Yoongi scoffs as she ignores the obviously incorrect sentence and encourages her on.

“Are you kidding me? She sounds like a damn Google translation.” He laughed, resuming his writing with a shake of his head.

“Hey! Who the fuck asked you?!”

Yoongi’s heart jumped into his throat. One moment he was scribbling notes on a composition sheet, chuckling to himself. The next, a furious Korean female was in his face, cursing him out.

He blinked up at the sudden fire and brimstone before him. Before he fired back a few choice words of his own, he pieced together that his comment had been overheard.

He glanced at the woman currently sitting at the other table, her tears brimming and her lips tucked in shame. She may not have understood his comment, but clearly, by the tone of his words and the righteous anger of her friend, he had insulted her. She cautiously lifted her eyes to him and Yoongi felt the boulder of remorse hit his stomach.

“Fuck.”

Leave it to him to insult the one American woman who, at the very least, was doing her best to understand his culture, and at the very most, was the prettiest woman he had ever seen.

Without a moment’s hesitation he met the eyes of the furious friend, choosing to deal with her first. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you could hear me.”

“That doesn’t mean you can insult her! She was trying her best. We weren’t even talking to you.”

“I’m an asshole, okay? I didn’t mean to take it out on her. Can I at least apologize?” Choosing to agree in order to calm her down, Yoongi maintained his calm exterior despite the guilt twisting his stomach into knots.

The friend huffed, tossing her raven hair over her shoulder as she stepped back slightly. Yoongi cleared his throat, ignoring the tremble in his fingertips and shuffled over to the picnic table, sitting down on the opposite bench.

“Hey, I’m...” Doing his best to clearly pronounce his English was just another lash of shame against his burning cheeks.

“I’m very sorry for...my words. I was...idiot. Very big idiot. I...You speak...good Korean. More good than...I speak English...” Stuttering and flitting his eyes around her face, the table, and his shaking hands, Yoongi stumbled through an apology, his voice gruff but his expression sincere.

“It’s alright.” She sighed, swiping under her eyes with the back of her fingers. “I get it. I probably do sound really dumb. But thank you.”

Her instant compassion tore at Yoongi all the more and he wondered at which point he turned into the monsters that terrorized him all day long.

“I...I help you, if you help me.” He was speaking the words before he could register them. Once they do, a cold terror drained his expression at the same time a large smile warmed her face.

“Really? You’d do that?”

“Hey, what about me?” The two glanced at the Korean friend who sensed the sudden shift in the conversation.

“I need all the help I can find, Eun. You know we hardly have time to meet up as it is. This is the first since two weeks ago I’ve been able to practice with you."

Eun rolls her eyes. “He just insulted you. Don’t trust him so easily.”

Yoongi blinks, lacking the words to defend himself and still processing why he offered his help to a stranger when he hadn’t given the time of day to anyone other than Hoseok - who wore a watch.

Her gaze fell on him now, taking in his features for the first time. Her eyebrows wrinkled.

“Haven’t I seen you in a class before?”

“I...uh...I take music.”

“Oh, I am too! Music Production with Mrs. Harris, right? You’re the one who plays the piano all the time. I never see anyone with you. Have you made friends here?” Before he has time to think of an answer, she cuts him off.

“Oh my word - ignore that! That was so rude to ask! I’m so sorry.”

Again, how could he have insulted the kindest person on campus?

Yoongi licked his lips, shrugging. There weren’t enough English words in his vocabulary to explain the prejudice-driven harassment and bitterness he had experienced since moving here. He never noticed someone so genuine and sweet in that classroom of entitled pricks, himself included as one of them.

“Never mind. All the more reason. It’s a deal, then.” She held out her hand, brimming with a newfound excitement that hadn’t caught onto him yet.

“You’ll fix my pronunciation. I’ll help you pass ESL 101.” She promised as Yoongi slid his palm over hers. The fact she knew he was taking the English as a Second Language course wasn’t a surprise. All exchange students were required to take it and this incident more than warranted her assumption of his class register.

Swallowing thickly he nodded, now finding himself the one put out. Eun rolled her eyes but sat down beside her friend again.

“At least tell each other your names if this is gonna happen.” She exhaled.

Yoongi’s new tutor laughed, and it’s so contagious, he cracked a smile.

“We’re off to a great start, aren’t we?” She giggled, giving him a look that could rival the stars.

Chapter One

#yoongi x reader #bts x reader #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x yn #yoongi x you #bts x you #suga x reader #bts suga x reader #suga x you #suga x y/n #suga fluff #yoongi fluff #yoongi cold brew #yoongi cute stories #yoongi coffee shop au

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senpai-no-lie · 4 years

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Black Eagles Route

Finally, with a certain level of dread in my heart, I completed Crimson Flower

Why I chose Black Eagles (specifically Crimson Flower): I had already completed Azure Moon and Verdant Wind, so it was just a matter of picking between Crimson Flower or Silver Snow. I figured it’d be best to just knock out Crimson Flower, since I still needed Hubert, Jertiza, and Edelgard’s supports.

Who Was My Dancer: Sylvain! I kept my recruits for this route only to characters I needed to complete supports, and then also Sylvain, because his aesthetic sense just seemed to jive with the Black Eagles. As a dancer, he did okay, but I think I much prefer him on a horse. However, his dancing was crucial to killing Dimitri before Dedue turned into a beast, and a few other pivotal moments. I just don’t think Sylvain has the magical firepower I like with my dancers (It should be known I don’t typically use the dancer character at all in other FE games, but I really enjoy the magic-utilty they have in 3H)

What Paired Endings Did I Get:

Edelgard & Hubert (I actually feel really bad for Hubert; it wasn’t my intention to do this)

Linhardt & Hapi

Dorothea & Petra

Jeritza & Bernadetta

Ferdinand & Mercedes

Not as many paired endings as usual because I really only cared about filling out my missing supports

Who Did Byleth Marry: Sylvain. Totally, totally not who I meant to marry; my intention was Yuri, but then I never used Yuri. And I just have a soft spot for Sylvain. I stand behind my decision.

Which Edelgard Do I prefer?: Purely on aesthetics, post-timeskip Edelgard is p hot, ngl, but I find her to be more intolerable because of how hard they push that weird sort of gap moe waifu bait with her. So I guess pre-timeskip, even if that’s not much better.

General Thoughts: I tried, oh so hard, to go in with an open mind about Edelgard and the other route exclusive characters. Edelgard leaves about 0 impressions in the other routes, as far as being an antagonist goes, but from the opening chapters on my first playthrough, I found her to be manipulative, condescending, and perhaps a bit immature. And yeah, she’s all of those things and more.... But Hubert, Hubert I love and I’m so mad that I can see the appeal of Hubert x Ferdinand now. My only point of contention remains the fact that in canon they remain subservient to her in their paired ending.

I also went out of my way to kill every single named character throughout the route, and it was both satisfying and heartbreaking. That Dimitri and Dedude death scene, Seteth’s shouts as I struck down Flayn, the dialogue between Sylvain as he fought against his childhood friends.... so good.

The Black Eagles Characters:

I did almost all the supports possible, sans route exclusives and DLC on my first playthrough, but I’ve yet to hash out my general feelings about the Black Eagles.

Edelgard: Plain and simple, I do not stan Edelgard. I found a lot of her behavior more reasonable if she was 13 pre-timeskip and 18 post-timeskip, but a 23 year old being so cringey and unaware of the greater political climate (Hubert regularly does things behind her back that she doesn’t even notice or care to notice, while complaining that Hubert makes her work for ambitions rather than letting her eat sweets or stare at the sky all day, ugh) is just unappealing as hell. The whole sequence where I had two opportunities to call her fear of rats “cute” was super off-putting, and the don’t get me started on her drawing Byleth fanart. She’s constantly looking for affirmation from Byleth (despite insisting she doesn’t need praise in lecture), while being manipulative and condescending to everyone else. Her calling Lysithea “good girl” when Lysithea is 20/21, only three years younger, and an entire inch taller than Edelgard post-timeskip is pure cringe. Also the name Black Eagles Strike Force is an awful name and I’m not sorry I told her as much.

Hubert: I’m torn on whether or not Hubert is my favorite Black Eagle. I really enjoy devoted servant characters, and I find him more endearing because Edelgard doesn’t deserve him. He’s so visually unappealing (though, not as bad as I find Lorenz to be) and weird, but I respect that about him.

Ferdinand: Sweet, dumb Ferdinand. I love him; his supports are a delight and I am consistently charmed by how sweet he is in his supports. I prefer him in other routes than how he has to behave in Crimson Flower, but what can ya do. Truly, the noblest of nobles

Linhardt: I’ve heard mixed opinions about Linhardt, but I for one like him. He’s a fair-weather sort of guy who only cares about a few things, and I support that. He’s just strange and intelligent and a dry sense of humor I can appreciate.

Caspar: This moron, I love him. Caspar is the one person I’d expect to follow Edelgard unquestioningly because he just doesn’t have enough brain cells to do otherwise. I think he’s funny, even if his tone-deaf screaming in eagerness to kill and conquer Fodlan grew taxing.

Dorothea: I like Dorothea alright; I think she has a lot of personality in her supports, but she’s not really the sort of character I find especially endearing or relatable. Nothing wrong with that.

Petra: A great girl! I find her manner of speech endearing, and I’m personally grateful that didn’t try to do some sort of accent for her that’s 1:1 for the real world. I was a bit put-off by how gungho she is with siding with Edelgard and dismantling Fodlan, but ya know, what choice does she have a political prisoner shoved into the black hole that surrounds Edelgard?

Bernadetta: People complain that Sylvain doesn’t mature post-timeskip, but Bernedetta still does that awful screeching and being a recluse routine up until the very end. I don’t like her or find her funny, but I do enjoy the sort of moral relativism she employs. Her supports with Yuri made me feel exceptionally sorry for Yuri.

Jeritza: His voice and cadence irritates me to no end, but he was enjoyable as a unit, at least. I think his “personality” or “two personalities” is troupey to the max, and his supports with Byleth were especially off-putting. I feel like if you’re going to make a murder-happy character like Jeritza, especially one with like a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing going on, it needs to be way more campy or bombastic.

I could honestly write a bunch more, but it’d mostly be me bitching about specific cringe-inducing moments with Edelgard that I’m sure other people who aren’t aggressively stanning her have brought up. If you like Edelgard, good for you, but I’m of the opinion that she’s a snake, and not even a clever or tactful one. Crimson Flower is so painful with how obvious it is with it’s Edelgard-pandering that it took me out of the game multiple times. All their routes have their flaws, but I guess the last (and only) animated sequence for CF was pretty dope, at least.

#my opinions about fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem 3h #fe:3h #fe: three houses #black eagles #crimson flower

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emma-what-son · 4 years

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Please post this anonymously, thanks!

So, for no real reason other than I was bored, I decided to watch Colonia. It was on Netflix, so I figured why not. I was curious to see how Watson did with a role that is not based on anything. She’s not a character from a book, a fairytale or based on a real person. This was a character she had to create from nothing. We’ll get to that.

First of all, this movie wasn’t as awful as I was expecting. Maybe it’s because my expectations were so low, but it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t great, by any means, but it wasn’t complete trash. Probably the worst thing about it was the writing…some of the dialogue was so cringeworthy, particularly in the first act before we get to Colonia Dignidad.

Michael Nyqvist was incredible as Pius. I feel like in the hands of a lesser actor, that character would have been a cartoon. He is the movie’s saving grace and I wish he could’ve played the role in a better-written film.

I felt really bad for Daniel Bruhl, with some of the things he had to do…

But that’s not what we’re here for, let’s talk about Emma.

I’ll say a couple nice things to start us off….she had better chemistry with Daniel Bruhl than she did with Dan Stevens in BaTB. That could be because Bruhl’s character (also named Daniel) is more developed, but there were times when she wasn’t just staring blankly at him, like she did in BaTB.

Some of her bad habits are not as noticeable in this movie. Less eyebrow movement, for example! She didn’t seem to pull as many faces as she has in other films, there even looked like an occasional moment of actual emotion, however brief.

Now, onto my issues with her performance.

While I said she and Bruhl had decent chemistry in the beginning, there were some definite “what?” moments for me. In the first act, they have what I guess would be considered romantic banter. It’s sort of playful and sexy. And boy oh boy, does that flop. When she’s trying to be playful, she’s just dull and when she tries to be sexy, she whispers. We should have seen confidence, spunk and flirtatiousness, but we really didn’t. Again, the dialogue is pretty terrible.

But my biggest issues with her performance is, like always, there is no depth to it. A role like this really needs someone who can “play two things at once” and she just can’t. There’s no internal monologue with her character…when Daniel gets taken away, she just stares at the truck as it drives away, but we should see so much on her face “oh my God. Where are they taking him? What am I going to do? Please don’t let them hurt him. I’ve got to find out where they took him.”, and we don’t. We see this again and again throughout.

But the biggest disappointment was when she got to Colonia Dignidad. This is when the character starts acting. She can’t be the same Lena she was before. She needs to convince these fanatics that she actually wants to be here and…well…she doesn’t convince me, let’s put it that way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPm1HR9alfk

This scene is a great example. The character’s objective is to convince Pius that she wants to be there. When she says “I came here for you, Pius. I need you, that’s why." There should have been a moment where the audience thinks she might get caught and then we see her transition into a completely different Lena (I think it’s telling that we don’t get a closeup on her for that line), a more submissive and vulnerable woman, to contrast with the confident woman we see in the first act. And that character is what we need to see for the majority of the time she’s there…when she’s alone she can be herself or have moments when she thinks no one is looking (either to scope out something, look for Daniel or even get privately frustrated). This is something that Daniel Bruhl does very well (though I feel bad that the writer made the choice for the character to act like a mentally handicapped man…it felt kind of awkward).

And when she’s brought before Pius and all the men, knowing she’s going to be beaten, she looks openly defiant and looks at him like she doesn’t give a crap. I mean, you can have a little defiance (like trying to show that you’re not scared even though you are), but this was waaay too much. He actually said the line "your tears won’t save you”…but she wasn’t crying…what??

And when she’s supposed to holding back tears, she makes that cry face of hers and looks away….

One of my biggest issues with her acting is that she refuses to be truly vulnerable. Yes, she might cry, but when she does, it doesn’t feel vulnerable…she’s just crying because the script says so. But that goes back to the fact that she’s not actually acting. She’s saying the lines and thinking “I need to be sad now, I need to be angry, happy, confused, etc…”

I could keep going, but it would mostly be more of the same.

I think the idea for the movie was interesting, and it makes me want to learn more about Colonia Dignidad…but on the whole, I give it a “meh”.

And, this may have been just me…but it almost sounded like she deliberately lowered her speaking voice. There were a couple scenes where it was in a noticeably lower register. Character choice?

Also, where was her German accent?

-----------------------------

I read a review of her acting, I think it’s from The Circle, where the reviewer said that Emma does a lot of ACTING. So much ACTING. And I think that’s pretty accurate. She’s acting. Not embodying the character and it shows. You can see the difference when she’s in a scene with Bruhl and Nyqvist.

Yeah it says that they’re a German couple, so she’s supposed to have an accent as well. I remember when people said that they look like siblings lol.

#submission

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peremadeleine · 4 years

Text

The Empathetic Dog Thief, Episode 1

Alternative titles: “Will: Deer Hunter and Dog Dad,” “Crimes Against Costuming,” “What Year Is It: A Crime Drama”

Armed with a gin & tonic and one sleepy cat, I finally gave the NBC show another shot.

I didn’t know Will had a superpower. Cool...?

How come he’s play-acting the murderer, though? Just because he can think like a killer doesn’t mean he needs to be reenacting it himself. That’s just confusing for the audience?? The way they did it in the Red Dragon movie was still effective without coming off as “aw, Will’s playing serial killer”

“This is my design” what

Plaid shirt and striped tie, truly a costuming sin. I didn’t love Will’s “modern wild west” costume vibes in Red Dragon, but it was better than this.

Don’t pretend that Jack and Will don’t know each other. Hate that.

Do look forward to hearing how many different ways people can pronounce “Graham” though.

Oh boy, why does Crawford push Will’s glasses up on his face while murmuring “hey” softly like a lover?? They’re strangers. That was mighty uncomfortable.

is he just assuming Will is on the spectrum? Right after they met???

and then Will confirms, but wait, he just has an “active imagination”?

STAY IN YOUR LANE

at least in canon Crawford doesn’t take advantage of people on the gd spectrum, and he spins it as being for the good of the victims. jfc.

“based on the characters by Thomas Harris”

Of course all the victims in the first episode are going to be women

“it’s not about all of these girls, it’s about one of them”--seven minutes in and they’re already ripping off Silence.

“he’s like Willy Wonka. every girl he takes is a candy bar.” no. nO.

“I mean, I would. Wouldn’t you?” no Will, Crawford’s a douchebag, not a murderous psychopath.

8 minutes in, me: WHERE’S THE TITLE CHARACTER THIS IS B O R I N G

“Why is it now a crime scene?” Because Will says so and he’s his own forensic team, apparently. Next question.

Also apparently he only owns red plaid-print shirts. Huh.

Lol Will has empathy for everyone but a grieving father confronted with his daughter’s dead body???

I don’t like the way Crawford is speaking to Will one bit. It’s supposed to be sensitive, but it comes off as condescending and mollycoddling. Ew. That is SO not Jack Crawford.

"You wrote the standard monograph on time of death by insect activity"?!?

so Will IS his own forensic team. Weird flex, but okay.

Antler velvet. Christ, HERE WE GO.

“You not real FBI?” Rip-off of Silence #2!

“You unstable?” Stop coming at Will, Jesus!

Will is a serial dognapper. SIX DOGS. Maybe, maybe, people in this neighborhood are missing their gd dogs, you monster.

none of them are even UGLY dogs

Will’s also drinking tho. One point for Gryffindor.

Oh, another plaid shirt. At least this one’s got a nice pattern. And isn’t red.

The bathroom is painted red, tho. What is it with Fuller and red walls?

Hugh Dancy’s American accent slips when he tries to like...emote. Yikes.

Strangulation is neither quick nor merciful.

A forensic specialist who wears her long-ass dark hair loose down her back and shoulders in the lab should be FIRED.

Implied “we covet what we see every day” scene: Silence Rip-Off #3

nineteen minutes in, me: W H E R E I S H A N N I B A L this is false marketing

Okay, I actually kind of like the “okay, I can cover him 80%” scene. Crawford’s real good at fucking up people’s lives in order to save lives.

twenty-one minutes in, me: HANNIBAL’S HERE THANK CHRIST

will probably regret this thought later

it’s okay, Hans. I, too, hate the career choices that have led me to this point.

the fact that he has tissues by HIS chair in his office is fuckin’ hilarious, what a douche, I love him

same, tho

The costumes and sets and cars are all screaming 70s/80s. But smartphones!

I’m watching this pretty late so my volume is a bit low and I cannot understand 70% of Hannibal’s dialogue, uh oh

Hannibal is supposed to be short so I don’t think this little “oh Crawford confused the short weepy patient with Hannibal” bit is that cute...I’ve always felt like Mads was poorly cast for that reason, among others. Oh well.

I take it all back:

HIS FACE

“No secretary?” “She was predisposed to romantic whims.” Not sure whether I like this line because Hannibal’s the one acting on whimsy or if it makes me cringe because of the way they’re dismissing Hannibal’s former secretary. Hmm.

“Are these yours, doctor?” a) Duh and b) Silence Rip-Off #4

Why the fuck does Crawford think he can just examine Hannibal’s papers? Like?????????

no wonder he hates your rude ass, Jack

HANNIBAL WHY IS WOUND MAN LYING ON YOUR DESK YOU PRECIOUS IDIOT

“Very interesting, even for a layman” Wow, unexpected Red Dragon rip-off (by the Red Dragon adaptation) #1

this whole scene is made of cringe HELP

why is Hannibal dressed in his Easter Sunday suit

Tattlecrimes.com. I’M SPEECHLESS at the stupidity of that.

tabloids are, in fact, still a thing in the Year of Our Lord 2013

No way is Hannibal fucking Lecter going to drink the swill that probably is Jack Crawford’s coffee, as if.

“Not fond of eye contact, are you?” Yes, Hannibal is the only character who should be canonically coming at anyone like this. (But also poor Will.)

But Will, at least look in his direction while he’s talking to you? I also don’t love eye contact...it’s rude not to even look at a person, though.

Hannibal finally used a contraction! He’s human after all. (This is a common Fanfic-Writing-of-Hannibal problem. I used to have it, too. You think to emulate him you have to write lofty, staid dialogue. But we’re talking about Hannibal the Punmaster General here.)

“This cannibal you have him getting to know” I’m sorry, who said anything about cannibals???

Stop incriminating yourself Hannibal honestly

Wait, is the implication that the victim whose lungs were taken is Hannibal’s? I hope not, because what would he be doing in Minnesota, and since when did Hannibal cut people up alive (Krendler notwithstanding--he’s a special case), especially women????? He’s a Monster(TM), but not a fucking sadist.

Will’s wardrobe also contains gingham!

no really, when did they determine that the serial killer was a cannibal?? did I sleep through that part?

“have Dr. Lecter draw up a psychological profile” bitch, please. Dr. Lecter doesn’t work for Crawford.

I don’t like hearing/watching people eat, especially in quiet moments. That’s going to become a problem in this show, isn’t it?

Will’s dream dear is fucking awful CGI. Wow.

That brown blazer--Hannibal would never.

EVERYTHING about Hannibal that should be black--his clothes and his hair--is brown here. It’s...weird.

to quote @random-emerald-thoughts, “my homocidal boy aint about that tawny bullshit”

Hannibal Lecter: food snob--that’s canon.

Don’t like this dialogue, though. And Hannibal bringing anyone he just met food in glorified Tupperware rings very false.

“Uncle Jack” what the fuck

Wow, Fuller jumped directly into the teacup thing right from the start. Yikes. He clearly didn’t understand it. (Clarice isn’t the teacup, bro. The teacup represents time, and disorder, and will it ever be reversed?)

Lots of weird metaphors in this episode overall, though none as bad as the Willy Wonka thing.

Why is Hannibal in Minnesota? Is he a crime-scene investigator now? Is he on the FBI payroll? Doesn’t he have patients with appointments to keep? Social obligations? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

He’s not a priss or a germaphobe. DISLIKE.

Do like the phone call. Just fuckin’ carelessly with people’s lives for the fun of it, that’s our Hannibal.

FBI? Are you FBI, Will?

He shouldn’t have been issued that sidearm if he can’t hold it steady.

One shot would have been plenty. Maybe two. Jfc, the reason Clarice shot Gumb so many times was because he was going to shoot her. Hobbs had a knife, which he dropped, and he was incapacitated by the first/second shot. Silence Rip-Off #5

How the fuck is he still alive and talking?! Will plugged him about eight times!

Call the police, Hannibal, or the ambulance, or take off your jacket and provide first aid to this girl. You’re a doctor!

It really is like he wants to be arrested or something.

And then he gets to ride in the ambulance?? Just Because?

Overall, it was...not very good, imo, poorly paced, very poorly written, with acting that jumped wildly from “very good” to “awful,” sometimes from the same actors. Intense cringe throughout a lot of the script. Ripped off Silence of the Lambs, a superior movie about many of the same characters, way too many times. Will is boring and I don’t care about him, but then I also don’t care about canon Will. And I still think Mads Mikkelsen was poorly cast as Hannibal...the costumes aren’t doing him any favors, either. We’ll see if he can bring me around.

Some moments of genuine humor that I appreciated, though, and some nods to the canon that I grudgingly appreciated, too, including Hannibal being a dick and Jack Crawford fucking up people’s lives.

Hopefully if you made it this far into my observations you got a kick out of them. I probably won’t go into this much detail for every episode, but I do intend to try to watch at least all of Season 1.

Painful as it might be.

#this is long you've been warned #and it's mostly snarky #but there are some concessions; I didn't hate EVERYTHING

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ohjohnno · 4 years

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Outrageous Fortune Reviewcap: S1E09 (”When The Blood Burns”)

I’ve been demurring on this one, partly because of real life shit (well, mostly that to be honest) but also because this episode isn’t all that good. It’s an episode entirely centering around Antony Starr’s characters, and I sure hope they paid him double, cos the range he needed for it was tremendous. But, unfortunately, one of those characters (Van) just isn’t all that interesting yet, and the other (Jethro) is ill-served by one of the dumbest and most unfortunate sideplots the show has yet had. So, without further ado, we’ll get this one out of the way, and I’ll try and keep it short.

We open with a dual appearance from the two most irritating characters in the show: Tracy and Suzy Hong, their differences now thoroughly mended and united in enjoying themselves by tormenting Van.

Yeah, it’s as insufferable as it looks. An incensed Van finally snaps and threatens to quit; Mr. Hong overhears, but Van finally manages to stand up for himself and it pays off: Mr. Hong makes him manager of one of his local little stores, which seems to sell mostly cheap novelty junk. I’m not entirely sure why he does this, honestly, but it’s a mildly important character moment for Van, so okay, I guess?

Meanwhile, in the West household, things are getting a little crazy.

Cheryl and Kacey are promoting their new underwear business with a sorta quasi-striptease party, hosted by and for middle-aged women. It’s one of the aspects of the episode I like best, not because the women are sexy but more because they really aren’t; they’re a bunch of trashy fortysomething women, reminding the world that it isn’t just model-type people who like having sex, or who know how to have fun with it. Kacey makes this explicit with a little barb at the morbidly fascinated Pascalle, telling her they didn’t offer to use her as a model because they wanted to use “real women”, which is a nice reminder that toxic standards of femininity cut cruelly in both directions. So, yeah, good segment - made all the better by the horror of the younger girls who’ve been dragged along.

Van returns, utterly nonplussed at the scene before him, and they all retreat to the bedroom. Antony Starr’s comic acting here is great, actually - he follows the others to the room and finds them using his drugs with an indignant and confused response of “well... don’t!”, and it makes me laugh every time. Draska expresses some clear interest in him, which he once again ignores, as usual. The next scene is where the plot properly begins.

The gist of it is this: the Hongs’ local store has their goods transported from warehouse to shelf by Draska’s clan, the Doslics. Van discovers that there’s a discrepancy between the number of trading cards he was meant to be shipped and the number he actually received; he goes and politely asks the Doslics about it, and they do not take that well.

I come from good people - HONEST people! Made strong by our troubles!

Naturally, they think he’s accusing them of thievery. Naturally, this makes Van pretty sure they really are committing thievery, and a raging Mr. Hong agrees. The two proceed to keep escalating tensions, and the rest of the Wests get caught in the crossfire; mama Doslic gets into a fight with Cheryl in a supermarket car park, Pascalle finds her old tyre-modelling photos all defaced with violent graffiti, and it’s all mildly funny but also kinda dull. Eventually, it turns out that Van’s mate Munter has been stealing the cards from the warehouse all along, using the keys Van gave him for safekeeping. This is not the last time Van will find himself victimized by the consequences of his own actions.

I’m blasting through *a lot* of this plot here really quickly, and that’s cos it just isn’t very interesting for the most part. It’s trying to be a farce, mostly, and it sometimes succeeds; Van’s initial confrontation with the Doslics is really quite funny, and his steadily increasing panic as the situation just goes more and more wrong isn’t bad either. But it’s all a bit too by-the-numbers and predictable, and in the end none of the stakes feel real; we all know that in an episode like this, the Hongs and the Doslics were never really gonna properly come to blows, and they don’t. Van confesses a lot of stuff to Draska in a couple of secret meetings, and while he’s initially paranoid about her loyalty, she proves herself by finding a way to fix the issue; she places all the blame for the break-ins on Eric (who was selling the stolen cards anyway, after buying them from Munter) and the two families come together to absolutely motherfucking whoop the guy’s ass, leaving him looking rather worse for wear.

...next thing I know I’m getting the shit kicked out of me by half the West Auckland United Nations!

If I have a favorite moment in this plot, it’s probably near the beginning, when the elder Doslic is first bringing in what he believes to be the full shipment of cards. He’s ranting and raving, the whole time he does it, about how much he just damn well hates the “chinks” and their terrible language skills, not to mention their driving - all while speaking in a heavy Croatian accent himself and also, oh yeah, taking their money. This show really does get quite a lot of comedy out of the idea that solidarity between marginalized groups really just doesn’t exist.

The rest of it, though? I mean, it does contain a couple of important moments, I guess. Van, after initially lying to protect Munter and only making everything worse, is genuinely willing to offer himself up, blame himself entirely, and essentially sacrifice himself in order to save everyone’s hides, and only doesn’t end up doing it because Draska fixes it all before he has to. That’s a nice reminder that Van, at his core, really is a genuinely good person, and that his internal conflict as a character all comes from the tension between that and the toxic masculinity he’s had indoctrinated deep within him by his father and the culture he’s grown up in. Cheryl demonstrates where her loyalties lie and takes Van’s side without a second’s hesitation after mama Doslic shows up with complaints; for all her problems with Van, she really does love him unconditionally. But there’s also too much stuff that doesn’t come off, like Van’s boring interactions with a mildly delinquent kid who likes the trading cards, or Tracy’s ever-one-dimensional mistreatment of Van.

Still, at least it’s better than Jethro’s plot.

Remember how Tracy knows now about Jethro’s little rape-by-deception thing a few episodes ago? Well, she still doesn’t seem to be thinking of it as rape, but she is trying to get him to apologize for it nonetheless. Jethro, meanwhile, wants to root her again, and he knows he can’t do that without apologizing. So Jethro’s plot this episode is several scenes in a row of him miserably failing to pull off a convincing apology, and... that’s it, really. Hugh’s back, being annoying as usual (though it’s intentional enough that it doesn’t bother me too much), and Loretta briefly shows up to mock him for how bad he is at apologizing (talk about the pot calling the kettle black!), but for the most part this is all really redundant and dull. The only interesting part comes in Loretta’s video shack, where Jethro straight up lies to Caroline’s face, right in front of Loretta, in order to make himself some free time to go and keep trying it with Tracy. Loretta, of course, is too sociopathic to feel sorry for her, and we all knew a couple of episodes ago that Jethro wasn’t gonna be able to maintain it with her as a regular relationship, but the beginnings of heartbreak on Caroline’s face as she begins to get an inkling, in her subconscious, of what’s going on is genuinely sad.

But the ending of this plot? It’s awful, and in a really unfortunate way. In the end, see, it turns out Tracy never really wanted an apology; she likes Jethro, doesn’t really care about the fact that he deceived her in such an intimate way, and wants it with him again. She decides he’s ready when... he just refuses to apologize one time, admitting he isn’t sorry because (and this is possibly the worst line of dialogue in the whole show, so brace yourselves): “why would I be, when it was the best fuck I’ve ever had?”

Eugh.

So they start having an affair, and that’ll stay important. Meanwhile, Van’s plot ends similarly, in the superficial respect: Draska finally convinces him to have sex with her, as a celebration for the two of them getting out of that little escapade with everything intact, and it’s also the start of a relationship. Her toxicity, of course, has been evident the whole time from her unhealthy fixation on him, but if she demonstrated anything in this episode it was her intelligence and resourcefulness, so one suspects bad things on the horizon for Van. Nothing much happens with the rest of the characters - Loretta doesn’t do much other than the aforementioned mockery of Jethro and some mildly funny jabs at Pascalle’s choice of career, and Pascalle doesn’t do much other than get all horrified by what’s been done to her poster. On the whole, then, this is a disappointing episode, and maybe the worst one so far. Van will get good, I promise - the potential is all there already. But we’ve still gotta wait for now. Until next time.

#Antonia Prebble #Siobhan Marshall #antony starr #Robyn Malcolm #grant bowler #television #outrageous fortune #Frank Whitten #rachel lang #Gutter Black #nz

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 5 years

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Finished s1 ep2 again.

Some random thoughts as the episode progressed:

Oh hai Mark

“-I’d probably be food by now.”

Mark be over here spoiling all the key points of the episode sheesh

I will never miss an opportunity to call Larry an old, racist asshole.

Lee’s outfit in this episode is my favorite. I kind of wish we could see him wear this for the rest of the game, but it makes sense why they wouldn’t do that since next episode they’re leaving the motor in and with what happens after that his jacket would’ve gotten in the way... but still.

Oh hai Ben

Y’know what? For shits and giggles, I’m not gonna cut the dude free. I always chop his leg off- aaaaaand Travis is shot.

By the way, it’s so fucked up to just leave the teacher there holy shit. It shows him getting eaten and you hear his last screams like... that’s so damn cruel. I just wanted to see what the alternative was because I’ve never watched it but now I just feel bad.

Shut up Lilly.

“Come over here and see what I drew...” Clementine, you’re so damn sweet I can’t-

SHUT UP LARRY.

“Ration the food out to everyone. Good luck.”

Well, Lilly, I’d be thrilled to do so. Clem, Kenny, Duck, and Mark will be eating while you and your father starve.

“You look like crap, Lee.” Thanks, babe.

Also, that little bit of dialogue with Carley when Lee asks how she’s been sleeping is interesting. It implies that she has nightmares about what happened at the drugstore and to Doug. Interesting, indeed.

Also, Ben was in the school band. Huh. Wonder what he played.

“How’s it going, Lee? From up here, it looks like you’re playing favorites!”

And this surprises you??

SHUT. UP. LARRY.

Travis died and now Ben and his teenage mustache are sad.

Also having Travis die here in place of the teacher because Kenny still goes “You said he wasn’t bitten!” even though, no! Ben never said that about Travis because he was talking about the teacher, like Kenny, you literally saw what happened.

Clearly, the game didn’t think anyone would leave the teacher like that so they didn’t bother changing the dialogue haha

Now the cannibals St. John’s are here. Hooray.

I’m gonna fix the shit outta this swing!

God, I wish there was a way to run. It really makes me appreciate the controls and over-the-shoulder camera in s4.

“Hmm. Pointy.” 😂😂😂😂

Lee pushing Clementine on the swing is such a short, sweet moment, especially when you share hope with her about the world going back to normal one day. And her telling Lee she wants him to stay lucky, too? Too damn cute for my salty heart.

And y’know, talking to Lilly about why her dad’s such an asshole is supposed to make me go, “Oh, well, okay I guess that makes sense. I shouldn’t judge him.” but then all I can think about is Lilly turning out the way she does in ep4 and I get mad again. It’s sad though. I still think she’s an asshole but I also think she did have good in her until Larry died and I feel bad...

But then I get flashbacks to Lilly killing Mitch and kidnapping my children and stabbing James and I just...

I’m sorry. I hate her. I could try and play nice with her here but it won’t change anything.

Ugh.

Danny, you super sketchy...

“Did you lick it?”

“...I don’t know.” 😂😂😂

Clementine said “shit” and now Katjaa and her accent think I’m a bad dad.

Playing s4 prior to this has me in collectible mode even though there are no collectibles in this game. I keep trying to find and pick stuff up

Welp. That’s a murder room if I ever saw one.

Mark really got fucked over. The dude took an arrow to the shoulder, an injury that 100% could’ve been fixed without worry, and as a result, these disgusting fuckers just... cut off his legs and leave him behind a secret door while they COOK SAID LEGS TO FEED TO HIS FRIENDS.

BUT the big reveal of Mark and his “Don’t... eat... dinner....” still gives me chills every time I see it. And the tension as you hear him falling down the stairs and crawling towards you begging for help is just... awful? But wonderfully done? I feel like this episode is pretty slow until you hit this point where it really picks up and all hell breaks loose.

I just helped Kenny crush Larry’s head in with a salt lick and now we’re best friends for life. In most of my previous playthroughs, I always helped Lilly instead, which causes Kenny to be all “You ain’t done shit for me or my family rawr rawr!” but the jarring difference when you help him finish off Larry is... interesting, to say the least, especially in future episodes.

And leaving Clementine to take care of Lilly knowing that these two are going to have a face off in eight years [possibly resulting in Lilly’s death] is crazy.

Do you think Clementine ever has nightmares about what happened at the St. John’s? About the slaughter room and crawling through that vent? Shit.

CARLEY ❤️❤️❤️

Yeah, I spared Andy’s life only to let the walkers get him... Course, who knows? Maybe the dude’s still out there, alive and insane, knawing on his mama and brother’s bones. I dunno.

Now, I’ve said this before, but I wish Jolene hadn’t died this episode. I wish she had been the one to come back and kidnap Clementine in ep4-5. Wouldn’t that make more sense than some dude that isn’t even given a name? The Stranger...? Who comes after you no matter your choice to steal or not?? Like, Jolene wasn’t in her right mind and I could totally see her stalking and somehow following us to Savannah and tricking Clementine into going with her. It would’ve been a hell of a final battle with her, too. Don’t think she would’ve been as civil as the stranger.

I will say, with the controls being what they are, this episode does drag a bit for me, but it’s all build up to the big reveal of Mark and I can forgive it for the slower moments.

And looking at my stats, 49% people helped kill Larry. Damn.

And 51% of people stole the food. Interesting.

Very interesting, indeed.

#twdg #twdg clementine #twdg lee #twdg kenny #twdg lilly #twdg larry #lee everett

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eggoreviews · 5 years

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Top 10 Lamest Game Protagonists

I’ve already taken a good look at the coolest main characters in games, but now it’s time for the flipside; the most lovably bumbling main characters in game history. Those heroes you can still sympathise with, but it’s difficult to get over just how incurably lame they are. Big note, this isn’t an insult to the characters I list, most of them are perfect little eggs. Hope you agree with these characters I’m about to roast!

Spoilers ahead!

10. Sir Daniel Fortesque (MediEvil series)

To be fair to poor Sir Dan, he spends most of his time trying to make up for how medicore he turned out to be in life. Daniel Fortesque went down in history for leading the charge in the Battle of Gallowmere and felling the evil sorcerer Zarok, when in reality he was hit by the first stray arrow while cowering at the back of the horde. But when Zarok came back and started raising the dead, Sir Dan found himself up and walking also, except now he’s a skeleton and he’s missing an eye and a jaw. He can only talk in muffled noises and has to endure the majority of the characters in the game ripping into him for his prior cowardice. So yeah, unfortunately pretty lame, but his low placement is due to his redemption by the end of his story.

9. Frisk (Undertale)

I know what you might be thinking, ‘But Frisk silent the whole time, it’s all the other monsters that are big ol’ lame eggs’, but no, Frisk is just as much. While they’re silent for most of the game, the very few conversation options you’re given as Frisk tell you just how much of a dork they are as they haplessly befriend everyone they come across in the underground, provided you aren’t doing the genocide route (but why would you?). And while you aren’t given too much detail as to who Frisk is and why they chose to climb Mt. Ebott in the first place, it’s clear from the get go that you aren’t playing the strong, silent protagonist in Undertale. Rather the strong, silent dork type.

8. Pathfinder Ryder (Mass Effect Andromeda)

You may be thinking this is an odd choice, but compared to Commander Shepard from the previous Mass Effect titles, Ryder stands as as a cheesy, bumbling mild idiot of a character. Not to say that he’s particularly badly written, it’s just the fact that he tends to blunder through the majority of his dialogue, and the slightly wonky facial animation present in Andromeda doesn’t help his case too well either. Poor old Ryder, he tried his best, but he just turned out a bit too Flash Gordon.

7. Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles)

I want to make it clear that I love Shulk with every fiber of my being, and having an over the top JRPG protagonist with a strong English accent was honestly a masterstroke. But who, honestly, can take this man seriously? All you have to do is listen to him scream out the name of the attack he’s performing in unabashed enthusiasm or shouting out random meaningless phrases like ‘I’M REALLY FEELING IT’ to get a good impression of just how much of a total dweeb Shulk really is. But hey, I love him for it, so keep doing you Shulk.

6. Rhys / Fiona (Tales from the Borderlands)

Tying in the sixth spot on my list is the dual vault hunters from Telltale’s spinoff of the Borderlands series. And yeah, they’re both completely lovable losers. On a first glance, it would seem like the hapless, slightly incompetent Rhys is the only lame one, with his terrible flirting and endless supply of awful puns. But no, Fiona is just as lame, it’s just that her lameness is so deeply ingrained in her character she hides it quite well beneath her quips and gunplay. The both of them quibble and argue pretty much constantly throughout the game, but what becomes extremely obvious by the end is that they’re both as bad as each other, and Sasha is the only cool one.

5. Chris (Until Dawn)

The funniest thing about Chris as a whole is how the game tries to establish him as the funny one, but in reality, his jokes are bordering on the terrible and he’s a tiny bit of a laughing stock. To his credit, of the eight teenagers trapped on a snowy mountain being hunted by monsters, Chris is surprisingly one of the most capable survivors, as well as being one of the easiest characters to save. But each time you get round to his parts of the story, you’re reminded of just how noticeably lame he is compared to pretty much everyone else. But you can’t fault him for it, it’s good enough for Ashley! Or, you know, Josh.

4. Pit (Kid Icarus Uprising)

Pit is a big ball of positivity and puts up with quite a lot considering his age and his status as a fledgling angel, but that doesn’t change the facts. Pit is arguably the lamest Nintendo protagonist, even beating out Kirby purely because at least Kirby can wield a cool sword if he succs the right enemy. But Pit is a brash, reckless and tiny angel who can’t fly without Palutena’s help. If there’s ever a Kid Icarus sequel, maybe he’ll finally find his feet and manage to get himself off the ground without his favourite goddess, but until then, he stays pretty firmly on this list. At least until his voice drops.

3. Max Caulfield (Life Is Strange)

I’ll admit right now that the vast majority of photography student Max Caulfield’s lame factor is probably down to the writing. Her careless use of words like ‘bizarro’ and the sentence I never wanted to hear ‘Ready for the mosh pit, shakabrah’ establish fairly quickly that Max is a veritable goldmine of lame. She’s a walking edgy art film stereotype, complete with her ‘quirky’ personality and avant garde interests, topping it all off with a polaroid camera, the edgiest accessory ever conceived. Max has a good heart, using her never properly explained, newfound powers to help people wherever she can, whether that be preventing a suicide or saving the life of her future girlfriend Chloe Price, so Max remains a lovable and brilliant character. But oh boy, is she lame.

2. Sora (Kingdom Hearts)

As the protagonist of a franchise that nobody really knows why it exists, Sora acts as the tenuous bridge between the colourful, family-friendly Disney and the edgy, complicated and wonderful mess that is the Final Fantasy series. But Sora, with his intoxicating positivity, overly-dramatic poses and massive clown shoes, defines lame. God I love him, but there is nothing at all about this character that doesn’t make you sigh a bit inwardly, especially when you consider his constant company of Donald and Goofy. The odd blend of Disney and Final Fantasy in the needlessly epic plot spanning 15 years and many games only serve to accentuate how ridiculous Sora is as a character, so that’s why he’s this high. Plus, he’s far too extra to use a sword, he’s gotta wield a massive key instead. I love this spiky boy.

Before I imprint my face into a desk while talking about my top pick, here’s a few that almost made into the Hall of Lame (haha get it I’m funny):

PaRappa the Rapper (PaRappa the Rapper series)

Kid Dracula (Castlevania series)

Diddy Kong (Donkey Kong series)

Olimar (Pikmin series)

You (Duck Hunt)

1. Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog series)

During his inception in the early 90s, Sonic didn’t start out as incredibly lame as he is these days, but what puts him at the top spot is his steady decline into lame territory, which started right about when they started putting him in 3D. Sonic was designed to appeal to the kids of the 1990s and hasn’t evolved at all since, holding the same overly enthusiastic, outdated persona that people either love or hate, in games of varying quality. Everything from his weird anthropomorphic body, his massive eyes, constant shit-eating grin, his strained voice that sounds a bit like he’s always in pain, it all comes together to make this epitome of lame the character hasn’t been able to escape since Sonic Adventure. And it only looks like it’s set to get worse over the horizon with the announcement of a Sonic movie. Most of my love of Sonic comes out of a place of irony, but it’s love nonetheless. May Sega keep milking him until they run out of totally out of place environments to throw him into.

There’s my list! Just to reiterate, this isn’t a post hating these characters, it’s mostly just pointing out aspects of their personality that for one reason or another, put them on the lame radar. Hope you enjoyed, stay hydrated!

#nintendo #gaming #donkey kong #playstation #medievil #undertale #mass effect #xenoblade chronicles #tales from the borderlands #borderlands #until dawn #kid icarus #life is strange #kingdom hearts #sonic the hedgehog #sonic

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summerspn · 5 years

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Batwoman

2019 series > Ep 1-3

*sigh*

Okay here goes...I’m going to break it down for you:

The trailers & ads:

I was skeptical about watching this show as all the trailers for it were terrible.

As a woman I can honestly say each and every trailer made me cringe & go ‘stop!’. They were SO bad.

But, that’s not the actors’ fault. They’re given lines they have to deliver on & Ruby Rose seemed to deliver on those decently enough I suppose.

In the trailers, my biggest issue was the terrible dialogue & poor makeup/wardrobe.

The campy style Batwoman costume & the sloppy bat tattoos...ugh! Why would anyone think that would be appealing?!

Now, onto the show...

There is one & ONLY one reason I watched this show...my mom! I figured I had to give it a shot. But it was not because my mom like it. She in fact, hated it!

My mom, who loves everything from medical & criminal dramas, to shows about witchcraft & medieval times. She somehow even loves campy movies like Dark Shadows. She’s a huge fan of Wonder Woman (comics, tv show & recent movie). She loved the Captain Marvel movie. She is a comic fan and loved Batman & Batwoman growing up.

Yet, she hates this show!

After seeing videos & online posts ALL saying it’s because non fans hate the show because they’re bigots, that’s not true.

The show is awful - so I suppose the trailers were accurate.

My mother could care less what people do for their own pleasure- and like she taught us, “as long as no one’s being hurt & it’s consensual, who cares?”

So right now, just to paint you a picture, neither her nor I care about the lesbian storyline in Batwoman. I don’t care if she’s gay straight, bi, attracted to pumpkins etc. Have at it.

The reason I chose to watch this show is because my mother loves fun well written entertainment & sometimes just silly fluff to get her mind off reality. And as my best friend we have that in common. Our viewing tastes are very similar. So when my mom says something was terrible, it piques my interest (much more than those awful trailers).

The actors:

Most of the actors aren’t bad. Since Dougray Scott is in this I take it as a comparison amongst the others. If you don’t know who he is ...he was in Ever After, Desperate Housewives, Fear the Walking Dead, Hemlock Grove and a thousand other projects. He’s a good actor. However, in Batwoman he has a few mistakes with his accent & delivery of a few lines (much fewer mistakes than the rest of the cast).

But all the actors have mis-steps with their lines & delivery of the lines. Whose job is it to stop them & try again until it’s good? The director

Some actors aren’t as strong as others but after watching the show, I think the strongest actors are: Dougray Scott, Nicole Kang, & Rachel Skarsten. They seem to work with what they’ve got. Trying their best. But the dialogue!

There was a line about Kate Kane having mixed feelings for her sister & didn’t want her hurt because “Duh, feelings”. .... 🙄...she’s a medical student?? The writers gave the actor THAT to work with? Okay...um, they couldn’t have done a second draft and tweaked it? You didn’t find it needed a little more work? Like wrote this instead “it’s only natural to be conflicted...” which makes her sound intelligent. Instead, “Duh, feelings”?!

Unfortunately we come down to Ruby Rose. She’s not a good actress. She seemed to be more talented in the trailers than the actual show but that was because she showed something I like to call emotion.

What happened? Every single line RR delivers has zero affect. Even when she’s literally smiling there is no emotion in her eyes....what only makes her look psychotic. And she moves her eyebrows up & down sooooo much. It’s distracting.

However, she (like the other actors) does seem to be trying. With that said, if you can’t be pulled into the character or the actors’ take on them then it suspends disbelief.

I have nothing against Ruby Rose but knowing she was a model gives context. They work with their eyebrows a lot & any acting they do is for about 20 seconds of a commercial. It’s clear that RR is tackling the tv show like she would a modeling job. Only now she has a s****y wardrobe.

However, she can’t act. She is monotonous & sounds robotic.

I do think though that’s made worse by the director probably not pushing to do enough takes. Sometimes directors instruct actors to act a certain way which makes them sound worse.

Ie) Hayden Christensen acted beautifully in an old tv show where he played a victim of molestation. In Star Wars a Phantom Menace he was apparently told to act more annoyed then angry so voila he came across as a brat...

So I do wonder what influence the director had here.

The wardrobe/makeup:

Papa Kane, Leaders of the Crows, my man Dougray...yes he still looks good in his suits but he’s always shown wearing the same suit. Wardrobe actually helps tell a story especially in a show like this. But it’s like the budget is too small or the director forgot about anyone other than Kate & Beth.

Morning scenes, have him with a little extra stubble, some make up to look like he has dark circles under his eyes. Ruffle his hair. Have him sitting in a hideous vintage t-shirt while they have breakfast. Kate could see how awful he looks and ask “did you get any sleep?” Then they could talk about how worried he is for the city, Kate, or even thinking about Beth! Kate could see the shirt & go “didn’t I get you that?” And he says “yeah for my birthday” and she says “that was ten years ago”.Boom! Shows he loves his daughter & a tiny bonding moment. ...but this never happened.

Luke Fox. Somehow they took an attractive actor and made him look about 20 years older just by wearing glasses that belong to Angela from Who’s the Boss!

Give Luke some 2019 glasses that sit properly on his nose! And the same for the rest of his clothes. They don’t fit right. The show is trying to nerd him up but you can make people awkward, nerdy , or quirky without downplaying their looks. Have Fox wear jeans with his vests, or a fun t-shirt with a suit jacket etc.

Kate Kane. She has the worst wardrobe in the show! Though Batwoman’s suit looks tacky & campy...

Give Kate nicer clothes! They do not need to be expensive but they do need to give her a personality.

1) Plaid...why? Lesbians wearing plaid is a stereotype so WHY would this show advertising itself as modern & breaking the barriers have their main character wearing something so cliche? Makes zero sense. However, since plaid (aka tartan) is making a comeback in fashion they could have used it (if they really had to) in another piece of clothing. A scarf, gloves, shoes? (I actually have a pair of red plaid boots which are durable and adorable). Throwing on a plaid shirt is just lazy.

2) Her hair. Okay so if they’re going for the short-during-military-training look I get it but Ruby Rose has the same hairstyle in everything. I wish she’d just either grow it out or chop it all off. They could have had a scene where she’s fiddling with it in the mirror like she’s self conscious about the new do...showing human insecurities.

3) The leather jacket. Sigh... okay this is my personal opinion but I think the black leather jacket in shows is used too much. It immediately signals strength & a tough exterior right? Well literally everyone knows this. It’s not subtle. I mean I love how it was used on Supernatural where the coat had a history but it was tied into a backstory and eventually was used less and less. But the leather coat was used more in early seasons (which was as far as 15 yrs ago). Other shows always have the ‘bad boy’ wear the jacket. It’s so boring. I’d rather if Kate strolled you wearing a fun typographic shirt or a basic t-shirt and have an expensive belt because she has a thing for belts (subtly nodding to one Batwoman has to use).

There were many choices other than a basic plaid top and black leather jacket. Wardrobe decisions that could give the character/actor subtle layers or tools to work with. But that too was done lazily.

Set design:

Dark & gloomy? ✅

Isolated & abandoned feeling? ✅

Appropriate to the corresponding event... 🙈 not so much.

Ie) the bridge where the family’s car fell off. Whether it’s done with cgi or finding the right location, the bridge in question was generic. Now if the bridge was higher up and/or there were super super wild & crazy rapids maybe, just maybe we’d believe Batman thought Beth was a goner. But it was actual fairly tame so it made Batman look like he just saw the car hanging and go “hey my shift ended an hour ago” and walk off.

And,

The “secret” entrance to the bat cave is in Wayne enterprises? Wouldn’t that be hard to get to? I can picture Bruce hanging around in the garage waiting to go in...he starts over to the door, someone comes, he stops...ya know because everyone knows him...

It’s just weird. There were so many other options.

Special effects:

Some have been pretty bad so far. This is a CW trait. I don’t know if they separate the budget for the directors or not. Is it all one lump number or are they told ‘this is for the production & this is for the special effects?’. I wonder because other CW shows seem to have tiny budgets allocated to the effects. In any case, a show about super villains & heroes needs bigger budgets so it looks more believeable.

The writing:

The writing is just bad. Writing lines like “duh sisters” for a character who is supposed to be educated & intelligent seems ridiculous.

Question - if Bruce Wayne has family why didn’t he stay with them when his parents died? Or they with him? Is this a plot hole from the comics or just this show?

Unrealistic. Yes it’s a superhero story but we care less if the person has all their skills & abilities immediately.

My bff and I love superhero shows but we both had the same problems here as with Supergirl. She just had her powers & didn’t really struggle with them. I watched 2 episodes & was bored already.

Batwoman was so boring but I wanted to see if it got better. It hasn’t.

This show needed to spend episode 1 where she’s discovering how bad Gotham was without Batman & where he went. Is he doing a really long pub crawl? Saving people in another country/city? Dead? Kate shows zero concern for her missing cousin & for some reason, hates him.

Kate immediately knowing how to use the bat equipment with zero practices...how at the beginning she’s swimming in ice water for no reason and doesn’t get hypothermia?? That’s all very unbelievable.

Kate is written as Mary Sue. She knows all & has the most skills in the world! Why??? Okay so she was in the military so yeah give her a backstory of taking taekwondo classes or something but for her to know how to do Luke Fox’s job better than he does? Or where the cameras are at Wayne Enterprises...more than the security team?? And to know what the computer password is, okay... basically she has to be great at everything & the other characters have to be written dumb in order for Kate to be appealing. Why?

Bashing Batman...in a show based in the bat-universe. Terrible move. Kate doing this repeatedly makes us think she’s a villain. Not a hero.

Bashing everyone with male genitalia...makes Kate look like a pr*ck. You can hate certain men you’ve known but to constantly reference women as being superior to men...

1) negates equal rights. You can’t be equals if you act/think/say you’re superior.

2) any boys watching this show is going to feel like something is wrong with them.

3) it’s sexist.

Just like many of us women grew up hearing repeatedly that men were better at this & that...

4) male bashing IS spreading hate. STOP.

That is actually why (more than anything) I didn’t want to watch in the first place because of how the trailers made it sound like they were bashing a whole gender.

Too much too soon. Revealing Alice is Beth in the first episode? Why? Drag it out an episode or 2. Each episode is both boring and yet they try to cram everything into a single episode it’s bizarre.

Ridiculous scenarios. Like Batman would leave a child to drown. And why didn’t Beth/Alice just go home or contact the police...or anyone...when she got out of the water all those years ago? Why does Kate keep letting her sister go when the woman is a multi-murderer?!

Yes, Kate is still hung up on her ex but it was years ago & she was the one dumped. And Sophie is married so Kate is coming off like a stalker 👀

All of it makes Kate look unsympathetic & unlikeable. The show isn’t funny except when we hear bad dialogue. It’s trying to be overly dramatic like a soap opera but it still doesn’t work. I think that’s due to the writing & the directing.

Now don’t get me wrong, even with RR’s lack of acting skills there are ways of making it work...that weren’t done.

Keanu��s Reeves isn’t the most skillful actor but he tries. He’s good at certain things & sticks to it. He knows where his skills are. Yes he’s improved but he’ll never be able to pull off an intense dramatic role. So he sticks to what he’s good at. He’s also a good person & tries to talk openly & intelligently about things so he has people’s respect IRL.

Ruby Rose has been touchy & volatile about people criticizing Batwoman. That made me lose what little respect I had for her.

Awhile back I had tried watching this design show (yes I like those too) Love it Or List It Vancouver. The show was fine but the designer Jillian was being critiqued left right & Center on social media after the pilot episode for sounding like a child. She used phrases such as; “totally”,”for sure” , and used the word ‘like’ a thousand times... she really did sound like a valley girl. However, about 5 episodes later that was gone. She was speaking more eloquently and more grown up - which in turn made people like her more. She & the show worked to help improve her speech patterns so it wouldn’t be distracting. And the show has been around for years now.

My point? RR could have taken the criticism & worked with it. I get she’s probably upset as she worked hard but we all go through it. We all have a project of some kind at work that falls flat. We take the criticism & try to improve. RR could take acting lessons or at the very least, practice in the mirror.

Most of the other issues I’ve mentioned are a result of the awful writing, poor direction & likely some interference from the network.

What this show should never have done was act superior. That’s being a douche. Anytime I see or hear someone being arrogant like that I just roll my eyes and walk away (or in this case, turn the channel).

If anyone working for the CW and/or Batwoman reads this I hope you’ll take some pointers.

I like myself too much though to subject myself to anymore episodes though. I’m done. ✌️

#batwoman #tv serials #tv #tv shows #cw #ruby rose #dougray scott #elizabeth anweis #rachel skarsten #nicole kang #camrus johnson #gabriel mann #giles panton #meaghan tandy #kate kane #batman #batman bashing #woke #woman

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kainosite · 5 years

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Les Misérables 2018, Episode 1

So I guess all the cool kids are doing episode reviews, huh?

As I’ve said, we can’t properly evaluate this adaptation until we find out whether Gavroche makes fun of Enjolras’s beard, but here are my thoughts so far.

The Good:

• Merging the timelines so the narrative can follow all three protagonist groups simultaneously was a brilliant adaptation decision. It slightly borks Fantine and Cosette’s timeline, but it was so, so worth it because it solves the “my second protagonist iz pastede on yay” problem that afflicts so many versions of Les Misérables, including the Brick. I understand why Marius is there, but I’m not convinced Hugo’s audience cared even at the time, and if they did 50% of his narrative purpose evaporated at the Battle of Sedan. If Davies wanted to do a reasonably faithful adaptation that gives Marius equal time with Valjean he really needed to address this problem somehow, and he did, and it works. The intercutting was maybe a little faster than ideal, but this was an inspired choice.

• This adaptation has the best sense of place of any I’ve seen, including the 1934 French one which was actually filmed on location but didn’t really believe in establishing shots. The bagne was extremely well done, Digne looked like Digne, Paris was passible.

• The Pontmercy/Gillenormand group were FLAW FREE. Baby Marius was adorable, Georges was hot and sad, Gillenormand was a flaming pile of royalist trash. I felt like this adaptation really got him in his horrible Ultra soul. These are far and away the best English-language Georges and Gillenormand we’ve ever had, and possibly the best of all time.

• Nicolette is the hero of this episode apparently? I am very okay with this, and I feel like Hugo would be too.

• Favourite was great. OOC, but great. 2018!Favourite can stay.

I’m very unconvinced by the “If Fantine had real friends she wouldn’t have so many problems” criticism I’ve been seeing. Real friends are up for giving you sound advice like “These guys are not marriage material; don’t fall for this ‘I’m a ~poet~’ bullshit” and “Use the tour, Fantine; that’s what it’s there for.” They are not up for subsidizing your poor family planning choices for more than a decade until your baby is old enough to bring in a wage. They might be able to club together to cover Fantine’s rent for a quarter – and perhaps they do; she doesn’t leave Paris until Cosette’s a toddler – but they’re living on the margins themselves. Favourite is canonically supporting her mother. Ultimately they have to be saving so they have the capital to form their own households. This is a classic “secure your own oxygen mask first” scenario, and Fantine’s situation is not something they are equipped or morally obliged to handle.

• Good English accent decisions, more or less.

• The costuming was pretty decent. The bagne uniforms were very, very good.

The Meh:

• So far I am not a fan of the interpretations of either Valjean or Javert in this, although their character-defining scenes won’t come until Montreuil.

That said, I think Valjean’s extreme aversion to violence post-redemption tends to eclipse in people’s minds the bit where he stood over Myriel’s bed contemplating whether or not to stave his skull in for no fucking reason, which was also a thing he did in the Brick. The fact that we’ve never seen him act violently doesn’t mean he was incapable of it. He’s clever and good at exploiting an opportunity, and at that stage of his life he hates the world in general and the bagne guards in particular an awful lot. The “rocks fall, guards die” sequence is not an adaptation choice I like, but I think it’s a defensible one.

Likewise, Smugvert is a time-honored tradition even if it’s one I find trite and point-missing, and Oyelowo is clearly having a ball with it, so you do you, 2018!Javert.

• Myriel was neither great nor bad, although shoutout to Mme. Magloire for that “Was all that silver really ours in the first place?” “Yes, of course it was!” exchange.

• Baptistine and Mlle. Gillenormand apparently don’t exist in this adaptation? I’m choosing to believe they ditched their controlling relatives and ran off together to have fabulous lesbian Catholic zealot adventures somewhere.

• There was a shitload of Tholomyès in this. He was perfect, but there can be enough of a perfectly adapted thing. In Tholomyès’ case “enough” would probably be around 30 seconds’ worth. I jest, but I think there’s some merit in the criticism that we were seeing the relationship more from his perspective than Fantine’s. It might have been better to spend more time establishing the dinginess and drudgery of her daily life prior to becoming his mistress, and less time on him.

• Starting with Waterloo makes the Pontmercys the primary leg of the Valjean/Fantine+Cosette/Marius stool. On some level I guess that’s fair enough, since they never get their fair share of attention in adaptations and they’re the thing this adaptation is doing best, but it’s very odd.

• I don’t loathe the French background dialogue, but neither am I convinced it was a good idea.

• I’m still a bit annoyed about the inaccuracy of the bagne chain situation, although I think there are actually sound narrative reasons for not giving Valjean a chainmate.

• For an adaptation written by a guy who hates the musical, this miniseries sure seems convinced that the guards only address the convicts by number, and very keen on having Jean Valjean shout his name at regular intervals. None of that is from the Brick.

The Bad

• The red location titles. WHY.

• We shall not speak of the women’s hair.

• Not to kinkshame the Telegraph but we understand people in history had the same bodily functions that we do. It’s not actually necessary to watch them perform them.

• There were some really odd decisions about how to allocate screen time: the timeskip sky montage, picking up Valjean’s nighttime wanderings after he’d been denied a place at the inn rather than spending 30 seconds to show him getting chucked out, some of the grisette scenes.

• Some of the complaints about the dialogue seem unjust to me, but some of it was... not the best.

• I’m happy to accept a pre-redemption Valjean whose antisocial hostility is a matter of firm conviction rather than a vague, inchoate resentment, but even under those circumstances “YAAARGH!” is not an appropriate response to someone you just tried to rob giving you expensive candlesticks.

• Likewise I am happy to accept that the robbery of Petit Gervais was a deliberate act, and possibly a sort of fuck-you directed towards Myriel’s decision to buy Valjean’s soul and sell it to a third party without his consent after nineteen years of people doing shit to him without his consent, but if Valjean’s not in a fugue state running about two feet down the road half a minute after the kid is out of sight does not constitute an adequate attempt at restitution. This would have been a good moment for a timeskip sky montage.

On balance, pending the Judgment of Gavroche, I think this adaptation is fine. It’s not doing what I want with my favorite characters, but I got my Valjean and my Javert in 1978. It’s only fair the Georges Pontmercy fans should get their turn.

#Les Misérables 2018 #Les Mis Adaptations #Les Misérables

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evotter · 5 years

Note

jan, march, sept + one of your choice, love. have a great day, u icon

thank u kyra i adore u

january: what was the first fic you posted this year?

the first fic i posted this year TECHNICALLY was the epilogue of a different path. the first standalone was chewbacca (aka my introduction to the jily world once again and i have such a soft spot for it)

march: do you listen to music whilst writing?

yes! pretty much always; if it’s not music, it’s a TV show.

september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?

quite literally anything you’ve left on any of my fics BUT there are a few that i hold dear to my heart. i’ll post them under the cut cause they are LONG :’)

ancient: the first fic you ever posted online?

hahahaaaaaaa. it was my own version of rick riordan’s the son of neptune before the actual book was published. it was on ff.net, and the first chapter got 7 reviews, and i felt so good about myself after that lmfao. who knew i’d still be writing 8 years later?

ask me questions!

OKAY so i have 3 top favorites:

from a different path:

okay so i had seen this in someone else’s bookmarks the other day, thought it was an interesting concept—especially since i too love slytherin!percy and strongly subscribe to ofswordsandpens’ headcanons about it—but didn’t give it another thought until i was listening to a video about the cursed child and went: wait, there’s a percabeth hogwarts au that i saw somewhere. and immediately i hunted this down and i’m just in awe? i tore through it. belatedly, i realized that i made a mistake: i didn’t write down my thoughts as i was reading, which is definitely a disservice to you. however, here are a generalized list of things that i loved.

first of all, with hogwarts au’s, there are three main aspects that i look for: plot, characterization, and quality of writing. normally, fics of this size lack one or more of these key factors, but i was astonished to find that the plot is tremendously tight and intriguing (my lip bled from biting it so much because i’ve been stressed to the max), you write these characters with such distinct voices i can easily picture them saying everything—except, of course, now in a little british accent—and your writing flows so well, it feels almost like i’m reading an actual harry potter book, just with percy and co. you also do a masterful job of weaving together aspects of the pjo universe with the established canon of hp.

and there are so many specific things that i love. primarily, the way you write the relationships in this story; not just concerning percabeth (though i will get to that in a minute), but also with each of the interactions between all of the characters. i applaud you for how you handled luke/annabeth and rachel/percy, and the friendship among them all is just incredibly well done. i especially love how well you wrote connor and zoë and just, a lot of characters that i don’t often think about when i think of pjo. grover and percy’s friendship especially is heartbreaking, i just. he’s so protective because he loves his friends and holy fuck i also love how you wrote grover in this. but i just adored how you wrote annabeth/percy—the love between them, both platonic in its early stages and the romantic all throughout, was doubly apparent. i ached when they kissed each other’s cheeks, and i inwardly cheered when she kissed him in the locker room. there was just such a natural progression, to me, of their relationship. and man did i dig it. i’m excited (and maybe a little scared) to see where you take their relationship in the future.

boy, this is getting long. sorry. but some more just little quick things: loved the b99 reference, with both of their competitive natures playing out in a similar way to jake and amy’s. i kind of want to go back and see if i can find any other references that i missed because i was just too engaged in the story to catch them. also, zoë’s death killed me all over again, thanks for that. i like how you’re working the kronos plot in, and i can’t wait to see how the Final Battle plays out. what else? oh! professor hestia? beautiful. eventual maybe professor percy? outstanding. percy kissing the top of annabeth’s head? breathtaking. rachel being a quidditch commentator? earth shattering. (truly i cackled when i saw that.) mrs. o’leary being a cat? incredible. how you incorporated percy’s water powers? stunning.

ooh, this exchange was beautiful and had me cackling it was so in-character:

“None of us are dying.” Connor clarifies. “Not you, not me, not Annie, not the rest of us.”

“I might have to dispute that.” Annabeth says, from Percy’s other side. “Call me ‘Annie’ one more time, Stoll, and I’ll kill you myself.”

Connor only grins at her. “Sorry, love. No more ‘Annie’. Can I call you Beth?”

“No.”

“Anna?”

“No.”

okay, so i just finished chapter nine and i am blown away. sorry for how long this comment was, but a fic of this magnitude truly warrants it. i can’t wait to see what happens next.

i leave you with just two words: “holy shit.”

from a different path:

god, oh my god, am i the only dumb bitch who didn’t get what the prophecy was??

anyway, i stumbled on this fic last year, patiently waiting for its completion, and now that i’ve rediscovered it, i’m so glad i finished it all in one go! i couldn’t imagine the tension of waiting for the next chapter, especially since the tension is so well-crafted!! i hardly noticed the tonal shift even as the story got darker and darker as it led up to the war, and in that way i was reminded of how extremely similar it felt to reading the hp books for the first time! you nailed percy very well i might say, and the awkward-yet-caring relationship he has with his dad. i daresay you gave connor and zoe more characterization than rick riordan himself, and the percabeth you wrote is perfect to the nth degree. i appreciate that you didnt bother with all the love triangle and unrequited feelings nonsense as well.

but i have to say, even as i cried at sally and paul’s wedding, or at dionysus’ quiet mourning for castor, what really struck with me most was the way you handled silena. for that, i have no words. that was a job extremely well done. thank you so much for blessing us with this fic.

from chewbacca (a comment from u!):

A girl in a bright yellow hooded raincoat stumbles into the cafe on one of the slowest nights James has ever seen. Her coat is dripping all over the floor he’d just cleaned (but it’s fine) and when he leans over the counter he sees that her boots match the coat.

First of all!!! Thats the best opening line in the world and nobody can convince me otherwise. I want to become a publisher just so that if you ever write a book, I’d be able to publish it. ( like omg, what an honor??? )

She looks like sunshine, standing there with the amount of yellow in her wardrobe. Briefly, James wonders if that’s her favorite color. It’s got to be.

Im going to quote this whole fic but I really love these lines? Like, you have this distinct style of writiting that I aim to acheive and you’re literally such a rolemodel!!! These are my favorite kind of fics to read. Funny story but I was going through a ‘no thanks Jily’ mood ( a horror, i know !! ) but your fics are just,,,,exceptions? You could write about trash and I’d love it and ask for you to sign me up.

“Say it again, but convincingly this time.”

ooof this dialogue??? let me breathe

This is the longest he’s stood still since he started working. It’s actually a miracle.

and the funniest person award goes to YOU. also, the most talented and cutest but thats neither here nor there.

james taking care of fleamont, switching off the lights gives me just a nice and realistic vibe? its so simple but i love how you added it.

honestly at this point, ive been sucked again by the fanfic. it feels less like a fic and more like a masterpiece that belongs in a museum but anyway.

“James is supposed to be helping.

James is on his phone.”

ugh i love ur mind. im rereading and its so nice and lovely. even if its like 1am and im exhausted, this fic is sustaining me.

“Do it off the clock, would you?”

PEAK HUMOR

have i mentioned how much i love that scene with euphemia? she seems like such a lovely mom. i love ur euphemia the most. and ahh, both of them just rushing to the hospital ? another 100% good scene.

“Euphemia smiles too, but looks at Fleamont rather than at her son. “Yes,” she says. “It really does.””

fic? or shakspeare? HMMM

A girl in a bright yellow hooded raincoat stumbles into the cafe on one of the slowest nights James has ever seen // “Get fucked.”

the fic!! has made a circle!!! i love how it begins and ends along the same lines. I really want to know how??? are you so talented im in love.

i just really love this fic, okay? i love how james is just the kindest, lily is allowed to have feelings, its just so soft and warm. and it makes someone feel loved, want love anyway.

the dynamic between the characters are just so real and great and im astounded, in short.

your sirius is everything. so many fics potray him as a dick??? which is first of all #rude and also, not at all true. you made me love these characters even more so i sincerely hope you never stop writing.

you’re such a beautiful writer and the way you string words together is just poetic and gorgeous and all the other good adjectives you can think of. i read your spiderman x reader too and i was a goner for you. EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS SO GOOD. i read it so long ago but i can vividly remember peter whipping the mask off and she just going wtf stop on the window ledge. what im trying to say is that you leave this lasting impression on people that make them remember random scenes and words / prose long after they’ve read it which is a remarkable feat, i believe.

and im so sorry im not on tumblr rn bc i cannot keep recing this fic but i have told my friends about your writing and they loved it too. you’ve got like a million fans. when i do get back from my hiatus, im going to keep recing your fics and people will cry because their universe will shift thanks to the newfound joy of your presence in their life.

lastly, im more of a dog person and that, more than anything, should tell you how much i love this fic. i love u. and basee on your writing, i want to hug you, be your best friend and make you cookies bc again

WOW

#thelaziestgeek #answers #friends!#<3

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