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naokiscoffee · 7 months

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What makes Itazura na Kiss: Love in Tokyo so special?

This is probably my twelfth thousand re-watch of this drama, but this is not like all the other rewatches. I have decided to make this one special by using it to analyse the drama in more depth, and attempt to uncover why I love it as much as I do, despite all it’s flaws. I am writing this as I watch the episodes, so it might be considered somewhat of a commentary.

Season 01 Episode 01

Starting off with the first episode, the opening scene is fantastic in my opinion. I love how we are getting introduced to Kotoko in the comfort of her own room, and getting a peek into her hearts deepest wish. I honestly think that this might be what made me like this version of Kotoko from the get go.

However, technically, the actual first scene of the story is the iconic confession scene (if you would even call it that). I am going to go on a tangent here and just say that I am an absolute fan of her letter, but I will get back to that in a later episode.

The way she is nervous and excited before confessing and the way he flat out rejects her before she even has the chance to confess always makes me feel crushed for her, and is the reason why I initially disliked him. But now that I am actually analysing it, it is less harsh than how I’ve always perceived it (or this might just be me trying to explain it away).

Hear me out, consider the implication that he has a whole queue of girls that like him, drool over him and confess to him in school, his reaction/rejection is really not that surprising. Imagine receiving confessions from a bunch of girls, when you just want to live your life in peace … that must get old and tiresome fairly quickly. Additionally, the fact that the whole entire school is talking about the rejection might explain why he didn't accept her letter; had he accepted it (even if he rejected her afterwards), the whole school would probably assume that they were dating. On the other hand it makes me think, why would the whole school be interested in someone confessing? are we back in kindergarten?

We see later on that she still has that card with her. I think that for her, getting rid of it would feel like getting rid of her feelings for him, which is why she holds on to it.

Anyways, I find it quite ironic when Kotoko’s friends tell her “you and Irie are from different worlds” . Their worlds are literally going to forcibly merge under one roof very very soon.

Another random thought I got, like a lot of my thoughts are, was why did Kotoko like Naoki, and not like Kinnouske? I mean he might not be handsome, he might not be smart, he might not be rich, but he is hardworking, talented and most importantly, he liked Kotoko, and was always nice towards her. This version’s Kinnouske has always been my favourite one. I think this version does a good job at portraying him as a three dimensional person, rather than a comic relief kind of personality *cough* Itazura Na Kiss 1996 *cough*.

When I started to pay more attention, I realised that although I do love Kinnouske, I do find him to often do things based on his own feelings, and does not consider what Kotoko wants. For example, I cant help but feel that he is a bit insensitive for being happy when Kotoko is sad after deciding to ‘give up’ on Naoki. This is a small detail, and perhaps I am reading too much into it, but I do feel that Itazura Na Kiss is all about the details. He sort of redeems himself for it by asking his friends to come and help her move, but soon it goes to shit again, which I will come to later on.

I really like — at this point, everything really, but anyways — the reoccurring mentioning of “less possible than getting hit by a shooting star”, which is a kind of teaser to what is to come later on in the show. Although I’ve always thought that the reason for their house being destroyed in this version to be a bit dumb, I admit, I do like the thought and metaphor behind it, so I will turn I blind eye to it. I also find it hilarious how it ended up all over the news.

Kotoko’s extremely optimistic outlook despite everything that happened is perhaps her most charming personality trait. It makes me feel that her optimism is somehow what everything work out for her in the end.

Now, to one of the scenes I dislike most in this story. I am always tempted to skip the first episode altogether to avoid it. And that’s the scene where Kinnouske is collecting donations for Kotoko. Here we see Kin-chan’s good intentions having not so good results. I get the feeling that he does what he thinks is helpful for her, and never once stops to consider her feelings or ask her opinion on it, and the way she gets annoyed with him tells me that she’s not that fond of this either, despite what his intentions were.

Back to Naoki. Looking at the size of that entrance, he could have 100% just walked around Kotoko and Kinnouske and gone in. Heck, following the little pattern we have so far, wouldn’t he purposefully avoid them to maintain a quiet and peaceful life? Now, he did just the contrary and approached them. Considering the fact that by the end of the episode he already knows about the arrangement (of her going to his home to stay there with her father), it would be safe to assume that at this moment in time, he already knows that she would stay in his house. This is supported by his response to her “preferring to die over taking his money”; “are you sure you want to tell me that?”. Therefore I assume that he approaches her out of curiosity.

If you pay close attention to this interaction, you will notice that Naoki did not say one thing that was wrong or out of line. Naoki giving Kotoko the money was not very nice. But more than anything, it was quite confusing. He told her “If I donate this money, you won’t argue with me anymore”. Now, Kinnouske was the one arguing with Naoki, so why would Naoki tell Kotoko that? Is it because he sees her as the most reasonable one, or rather, is it because they’re ‘her’ friends (thus making her responsible for them)?

Kotoko was the one with an explosive reaction in this situation [although she was in the wrong, I like how she stood by her friend eventhough they were fighting a few moments ago (if she realised the previously mentioned point that is).], and was more than a bit mean when saying “do you even have friends?”. Here we see just how much of an opposite to her he is. Instead of having an explosive reaction like Kotoko had, Naoki just finds her reaction amusing and leaves calmly.

Now to when she goes with her father to the Irie household. Naoki’s mother’s (Noriko’s) comment of “you and I seem like we were meant to meet” and the fact that she knows that she’s in the same school as Naoki tells me that he told her about Kotoko; which in turn makes me think that she left a memorable impression on him. Kotoko’s reaction to seeing Naoki is Hilarious, especially te part where she’s too shocked, and is not shy to say “I’m just do surprised … because Iri-chan-san and Irie-kun don’t look alike at all” (I really am starting to realise and understand why Naoki finds her amusing).

Another one of those small details; the way her father scoots away right off the bat when he saw Yuki asking her a question about a kanji character, and pretending to look at a random décor piece kills me (It’s nice to keep in mind; despite how similar Kotoko might sometimes be to her dad, he still has more awareness of his own ‘stupidness’ than her).

I recently watched one of @Machitsuki2 ‘s analysis videos, and like she pointed out, I did in fact notice how Kotoko was going straight to the food and cakes, while Naoki was mainly only sipping coffee (even during breakfast). This will become really important later on.

Lastly, I love the interaction between Noriko and Kotoko when she takes her up to show her her room; Kotoko found a mother she never had, and Noriko found the daughter she never had. They are the first puzzle pieces that fit into each other perfectly.

When Naoki comes in and tells Kotoko that she took Yuki’s room, I get the feeling that rather than an insult it served to make Kotoko understand why Yuki disliked her so much. I might be a bit delulu, but I kind of feel that Naoki did this on purpose? anyone?

When Noriko asks Kotoko “do you like(suki) Sukiyaki?” and Kotoko looks at her (in Naoki’s direction) and confidently answers “I like it! (suki-desu!)” almost feels directed at Naoki. It is in fact the first time he hears her say it. This next part I had to go back and watch once more; Naoki only starts being mean to her when she pulled the bag from him (not wanting his help) and he saw the letter she wrote him drop out of it. I do wonder if he is mean to her because of that letter, or maybe because he thought she was rude towards him?

To be continued…(maybe)

#itazura na kiss #itazura na kiss love in tokyo #aihara kotoko #miki honoka #irie naoki #yuki furukawa #Ikezawa kinnouske #yuki yamada #character analysis #story analysis #drama #jdrama #japan #s01e01 #episode 1 #recap #review

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mishanym · 1 year

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Jake was having a little romantic time with MC. He managed to find a topic and summoned his courage to ask MC whether they like Chinese food or not.

And then to Jake's surprise, his little honesty ended up encouraging MC to be honest to him too and he was met with a nice confession of MC's imagination about them and Jake.

MC's imagination is surprisingly something that Jake had often imagined too, inside his head. After all, he did dream of meeting this most important person to him and maybe take them in his arms and kiss them.

MC's honesty about their deepest desire is a very big confirmation for Jake on how MC feels and cares about him and this brings up the desire for him to make it a reality.

But, ALAS, this sweet time that Jake thanked his lucky stars for, had to be interrupted by a call to MC's phone from none other Phil HAWKINS the most flirtatious unlikable guy whom Jake & MC got to know recently..

Jake was totally annoyed and still trying to organize his feelings, how dare Hawkins calling them out of the blue, ordering MC around to clear his name! What right does he have?! While MC started changing their gear, switching their focus on Phil instead, Jake couldn't really keep his calm mind in check. This annoyance slipped through his mind in a form of sarcastic texts he typed to MC in a very honest form that he hasn't had time to think over first.. oh shoot! My feelings shown! - Jake's inner thoughts

MC typed him a bunch of texts right away after he sent his unfiltered sarcastic text. MC totally could feel Jake is annoyed. MC clarified how they're only doing this for the sake of the case and the fact that Phil somehow got tangled in all this could be something important.

The moment MC dropped the bomb and questioned him about his feelings, it happened so suddenly, so pure intentioned, and truthfully he is tired trying to lie about his feelings and evading MC, so he honestly admitted that he's annoyed. "Hawkins, why you have to choose MC, OF ALL PEOPLE in Duskwood. How about your own sister, Jessica?" - Jake's inner thought

MC tried to understand him despite him accidentally showing his flaw through his sarcastic texts, MC then even tried to make him feel better by confirming that "Phil is strictly business, but I can't say the same about you, I want you to stay". It helps him to calm down.

MC's hope - that Jake will be there even after all of this is over - makes Jake incredibly happy beyond words that his earlier annoyance seems so far away now. "Of course I will be there, MC."

Jake feels like he needs to clarify that he is NOT that possessive. He was just worried and pissed. Worried that Phil might interest MC more, pissed that their sweet time was interrupted by Phil. He has to say that he doesn't mind MC and Phil being in contact. He needs to stay objective too. For the good of their case. MC shouldn't feel bad about this. It's not their fault. He needs MC to know that he doesn't think badly of MC.

He doesn't mind but it doesn't mean he is used to this.. MC used to be his personal favorite, he discovered this gem first, his precious, no one used to look twice on MC, and yet, now that things are advancing, I should've been proud, more people are acknowledging MC's worth and qualities, so Jake added, i just need to get used to it. - I swear that's all I need.. I must remember the fact that MC is a wonderful person and I shouldn't cloud that beautiful quality of a person over my silly jealousy - Jake's inner thoughts

Jake decides to focus on doing the thing MC asked him to do to quickly get rid of this 'Phil's business'. - The sooner MC is done with this, the better. So they can focus on me and only me ;) - Jake's inner thoughts

Jake's inner thoughts: So jealousy and annoyance can amplify certain feelings. interesting..

#duskwood #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #everbyte studios #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood replay #jake duskwood #replay duskwood #jake x mc #inner thoughts #Jake's inner thoughts

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novacollistar · 23 days

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MONKEY MAN REVIEW, WARNING: LONG POST

so…i just finished monkey man and now i will never recover.

dev patel you absolute gem, the genius of this movie and what it will do for desis who want to make their own mark in this world will never stop being talked about.

the religious references, the corruption within the systems meant to protect us, the devastation brought upon those viewed as lesser beings is shown within the movie beautifully. however, i have already seen, as expected, some who do not like the portrayal of india within the movie.

despite the good story, the portrayal of india is exactly how hollywood has always presented it: slums filled with poverty, dirt and despair. i am also tired of the west only showing india in this close-minded, ignorant way. as an nri, i know that even i have been influenced by the media to view india in a particular light. but i shall try to look at this from both sides.

one thing a person must remember that the things shown in the movie are unfortunately true. even movie creators in india have highlighted the way police are bribed by powerful people into doing their bidding and neglecting those they are meant to serve, the way religious leaders forget the entire meaning of their religion and use it to propel their fame and power, the slums where the poor have to beg to survive.

however, i do not agree with the way the west tends to almost always fetishize india into this almost dystopian land where it’s kill or be killed for the viewing pleasure of people who know nothing about our land. we cannot afford to be portrayed in a negative light as there is already little to no hollywood representation of south asians where india is shown to be a young, thriving nation bursting with potential. the last time hollywood acknowledged a movie in which india was shown positively was rrr (i still believe some of the hype over the movie was because it showed indians, therefore india, as beautiful and unafraid to be herself in the face of her captors. think back to all the shots of bheem in the forest, being one with nature and ram’s utter devotion to freeing his motherland instead of wallowing in its flaws). even then it was only once, and now we have yet again another movie where india is shown like this poor, uneducated, morally corrupt nation.

except…dev patel is also celebrating his nation, is he not?

i am not saying that india must always be shown as an unhygienic, primitive land filled with violent people and constant suffering. what i am saying is that while dev patel is showing the country in this specific light, he is also showing how its people are fighting back.

kid and his mother, two devoted believers of hinduism, stand up against the ones who use it to only further their own gains. the trans community, the hijra community, stand together in their own nation as worshippers of shivashakti even though their own brothers and sisters attack them, sometimes claiming trans people are a “western invention.” these are indians who value the lessons and beliefs imparted by their nation. the tabla is used to fuel kid’s desire to get revenge for his mother’s murder, it is used to tell stories and make people laugh. the ramayana is an allusion used to communicate that light triumphs over darkness no matter how difficult it may seem.

india is a land filled with complexities and contradictions. not one portrayal of india will ever, ever be truly accurate or correct. not the good ones, not the bad ones.

dev patel is just showing us the story of one, singular man. he does not speak for all of us, he is not claiming to always want to show india in a “backwards” way. he is simply telling the story of how a young man is fighting against the systems of oppression by using his mother’s faith in hanuman, the gods, as guidance to rid mother india of those who manipulate her rich culture and beliefs to pollute it. and if he has to portray india in a negative way to share this story then so be it, it is his freedom to do so. there is an entire generation, including myself, ready to look at dev patel and what he has done and say, “we can make more stories of our own,” and show india in a way that truly reflects her diverse, unique nature, one that rids this fetish of india being shown as unclean and impure.

let us celebrate that dev patel is paving the way for desis to have the power to tell our own stories in whichever way we want to.

anyway.

dev patel covered in blood was absolutely stunning, 10/10

#monkey man #dev patel #movie review #india #desiblr #desi #movies #hinduism

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lilcindy · 4 months

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Yandere Tolys Laurinaitis

Warning: obsessive behaviors, Poland is mentioned, mentions of wars, mentions of Word War II, historical events

Disclaimer: This can be cringe-worthy since this is the personification of a country, reduced to some anime trope, what I am indulging in can be harmful. Also, I go after comic events in the manga, not historical

━ A healthy relationship consists of two healthy individuals who acknowledge and accept responsibility for themselves, and Lithuania is a magnet for toxic ones.

━ His victim must be a nation, It takes a lot of time for Tolys to get used to someone, he's even willing to ignore the people who actually respect and appreciate him ( Estonia & Latvia) for his longer relationships.

━ Tries to be helpful to everyone, especially to his victim. Like helping them with legal issues, and giving them food and protection, If Lithuanian is not the official language of the Nation! darling, if we can say that, he will translate his most famous books, into their official language(s), which will be in vain since he never asked your permission in the first place. It doesn't matter, he LOVES helping/working for you.

━ As a yandere, Lithuania feels pretty threatened by his victim's independence, mainly due to a lack of security within himself, but doesn't really do anything about it. Finds it embarrassing to feel that way and he hates embarrassing stuff! ( attempts to restrict your choices many times)

━ He always overthinks his relationships with his obsession.

━ He is genuinely a kind person, unlike the average Yandere, he wouldn't wish to harm his love rivals.

━ Too infatuated with his obsession that he can't see their flaws.

Before the partitions of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth:

━ He used to control Middle and Eastern Europe during the Middle Ages. He's a great leader and will always give you his best strategies. Since you're a Nation, he's not that overprotective despite being a Yandere but if you clearly are in danger, he won't hesitate to cut some throats.

━ It says that 'he used to be awesome before but he hasn't been blessed by his bosses'. I think Lithuania is willing to joke around, however, I don't think he will actively seek a romantic relationship with them.

━ Why? He's born in the middle of a war, and as I said, he always overthinks his relationships with you, It may sound awful, but if you're not Poland, he will often hyperventilate when he puts scenarios in mind, where you and he had to war with each other.

━ Poland often calls him out for his obsession, calling it creepy, and weird as hell. Though,

After the partitions of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth:

━ The time when he was taken by Russia, well...he gets less time to be with you since Mother Russia overworks him to the point of exhaustion, Don't worry, he is Russia's favorite!

━ That is why Russia overworks him to the point of exhaustion. If You had bad blood with Russia in the past or currently, he will ask, in a forceful way, Lithuania to stop his yandere tenancies, after all, he is his property. ♡

━ If not, he still doesn't have time for you...he always sheers a tear while thinking about you. Lithuania will ask Poland for his news about you while drowning in alcohol.

━ If you are also Russia's subordinate. He will always be concerned for you, like extremely, literally handed three handmade documents that tell how to please the Great Fearful Russia with being bullied.

━ While hesitated to cut some throats, since over time he developed a weak stomach, and couldn't handle the gore too much.

Modern Days:

━ Now that Mother Russia is gone.

━ If he was asked oh-so-aggressively by Russia to stop his obsession, he would immediately rush to your house, clean it, and cook for you, as I said before he loves working for you.

━ If you guys are both subordinates of Ivan, he will boldly ask you to get rid of stuff that reminds you of him. He will NOT insist if you rightly so refuse.

━ He has a better relationship with Poland, and this one doesn't approve of this relationship and constantly reminds Liet that his obsession isn't normal.

━ He will never let go of his unhealthy crush.

#yandere hetalia #hetalia lithuania #i miss hetalia...

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halogenwarrior · 1 year

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In response to the Needletail content I’ve been getting on my dashboard recently: the thing with Needletail is that 99% of the time, I really like and find her fascinating for her flaws and don’t like when people try to “soften” her as a character, except for one part which I would absolutely get rid of if I were rewriting the books, which I think is the main reason she comes off to some fans as less “tragically selfish punk” and more “gratingly selfish punk”. That is, the part in the Apprentice’s Quest where she is the first one to suggest separating Twigkit and Violetkit. This part just doesn’t fit with how she is portrayed, and particularly her relationships with Violetshine and Alderheart, in the later books (and given how Thunder and Shadow, where much of the “inconsistent” stuff appears, was written by a different author than The Apprentice’s Quest, this might even be a case of the author not even being aware of that detail).

Because the thing is, if you take away that part the relationship between Needletail and Violetshine is very tragic - messed up and not healthy for Violetshine in the end, but genuinely loving and with the society around them also being to blame for why it’s so messed up. If you just take Thunder and Shadow on its own: we have Violetkit, a kit who was wronged by her Clan by treating her as a political tool due to how they don’t care for outsiders unless they can provide some use to them, and you don’t need to love and pay attention to someone for them to be useful... and Needlepaw, who feels alienated by her Clan and rebels against it, also seeing them as not noticing her. If you just take this book alone, Needlepaw having to initially be cajoled by Alderpaw to pay attention to Violetkit doesn’t sound as damning as some Needletail haters make it out to be - she’s a teenager, of course she shouldn’t be expected to be the sole provider to a kit who the Clan has neglected, she’s not mature enough for that and she shouldn’t be expected to be, though the bond she later forms with her is genuine. And she genuinely relates to this kit for having similar disillusionment as her, her caring is completely genuine, but at the same time she is, again, selfish and immature, risking Violetkit’s life just to send a message to Rain and pushing her into joining the Kin (not because she just likes manipulating little kids into bad lifestyles but because she herself genuinely romanticizes them and her chance at finding a purpose through their violence and freedom, and in her mind Violetkit is just a mini Needlepaw, she must want and need the same things as her). The tragedy is that, as I said, she never should have had that responsibility in the first place despite her genuine love and devotion towards Violetkit, and her guilt-tripping and “you will only be happy with me” comes from genuine desperate loneliness rather than machiavellianism, is only reinforced by the outside environment as Rowanstar makes it clear he really doesn’t want or care for Violetkit, when he should have taken a stand agains this kit being left only in Needlepaw’s charge. And the tragedy is further cemented in Shattered Sky where Violetpaw, stuck with a caretaker figure who is not mature enough for the job and is now in the horrible situation of being trapped in a cult-type situation, losing the cats she loves and fearing for her life every day, recognizes Needletail’s immaturity and gets the horrible idea that she has to be Needletail’s caretaker, feeling like must be the martyr for her and even that Needletail would be within her rights to kill Violetpaw. And despite that it isn’t so strange that Needletail would sacrifice herself for Violetpaw, because the love still is genuine!

All of this is horribly undermined by having Needletail be the one to suggest separating the kits. First of all, it feels especially odd narratively to have this separation moment to set up Rowanstar as being cruel towards outsiders for an out-of-touch idea of political gain to explain why the apprentices are disillusioned, and then show the primary disillusioned apprentice be fully on board with the callous politics game and even having suggested it. Second of all, this is the reason that a lot of people read Needletail’s saying she relates to Violetpaw and they are both alone in the world as lies and manipulation, if she really related to her she wouldn’t be the cause of Violetpaw being alone in the first place and never show any guilt about it or even bring it up. And of course, Alderheart never brings it up either, the narrative treats it as if it didn’t happen and they are just a makeshift family who are trying in their own flawed ways to be a light in the kit’s life beyond the cruel games of their leaders. Having Needletail do that diminishes her character into “one-dimensional abuser who is just bad in every way”, except the narrative forgets she ever did that and does not treat her at all like a one-dimensional abuser, leading to a lot of people being frustrated with how she is treated by said narrative.

I genuinely think if they just got rid of this Needletail would have an argument for being the best-written Warriors character. (Well there would still be the issue of how her bonus story backstory tries to explain her alienation from her Clan with a single “folk-psychology” incident of being forgotten by them once in a way that doesn’t even sound unreasonable of them, rather than it being a more gradual and subtle thing she experiences throughout her life. But that’s another issue...)

#warrior cats #wc #needletail #violetshine

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purplekoop · 6 months

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ok maybe zarya's is fine. Even if it was an ability, I'd only want it to have a 2 second cooldown. But yeah, Torb Cass and Zen alt fires are kinda lame, and I say the same for Widow Ashe Ana Symmetra and Winston. For those first three, Scope could just be a toggled thing imo. And in general I think everyone should have 4 weapons/abilities, one Passive, and obviously their uktimate. Reaper and Tracer are also examples of one's that I'd like fixed.

I mean at the point of a 2 second cooldown, that's almost the exact same uptime as normal, considering the slow fire rate and how you only get four shots per reload. It's just kind of an arbitrary change.

I also don't get how... toggling scopes would work? Like... you. already do that. with the alt fire. that's just arbitrarily adding an extra button, which I should point out because Overwatch is also a console game and thus must have a default controller scheme, is a limited commodity. And again, I don't really see much use when, like I explained, even Ana's scope with its minimal differences compared to unscoped fire, the kits of the heroes with those scope attacks are well rounded and really don't need an extra function.

Symmetra and Winston's alt fires aren't far off from Zarya's if you give it a thought, they're long-range shots that require extra ammo and have generally slower DPS than their limited range beam primary fires. Symmetra would be gutted if you got rid of either of her primary or secondary fire without proper compensation. Winston's meanwhile is more like a nice quality of life improvement that makes his somewhat basic gameplay loop a good bit more interesting, and lets him confirm kills by himself where he otherwise couldn't, which is important especially in OW2 where there's one less teammate to help finish off an enemy he couldn't alone.

As for the more general notion that every hero should have the full set of basic abilities and a passive... I mean... I get it... but I also disagree? at least a little? For one I think the requirement of everybody having a passive is just. Insanely arbitrary. It's a fun thought experiment, but to be frank it's also tedious trying to think of giving EVERY character a unique passive that has a meaningful impact on their gameplay, especially when they already have a well-defined kit. What even counts as a passive? I've heard the suggestion that Cassidy getting a headshot with revolver should take a second off his Roll cooldown, and while I like the idea, I don't know if that warrants being called a passive when you could just as easily call it a mechanic of Combat Roll or his primary fire. And again, I gotta reiterate, there's like 5 other "basic shooty fighter guys" that don't have passives and don't NEED passives. Soldier, Ashe, Cassidy, Widowmaker, Sojourn, Tracer. The "what to do" and "why to do it" just aren't there.

I do more so agree with at least wanting to give every character a full set of 4 abilities/attacks... kinda. See Reaper's lack of a secondary fire is not only mildly irritating for perfectionists, but also is an open space for something to address some of his weaknesses. While I think characters having flaws is fine and in fact very cool, Reaper's struggle past point-blank range is obscene, and despite his existing abilities getting tons of buffs over the years, he still struggles to exist if he can't flank into ambushing an enemy at breathing distance. How he hasn't gotten any kind of ranged projectile like a smoke grenade like in the initial reveal cinematic or something is beyond me. Tracer meanwhile... is fine. She's barely been touched over the years aside from minor tweaks to Pulse Bomb and her exact damage numbers in the shift to 5v5, and I think that more than anything speaks to how solid her existing kit is. She really doesn't need an extra ability, as tempting as it is to force one onto her. Similar story to Bastion, who's been much more hectic balance-wise over the game's history, but I think his recent dominance before getting nerfed shows that his kit is probably fine despite the fact he lacks an Ability 2.

I get the desire to make every character equally complicated for the sake of "fairness", I really do, but that's just not how game design works. Some characters are simpler and have less fancy buttons or traits than others, and that's fine and cool actually! It makes for a range of playstyles and design philosophies coexisting in a really cool way. The fact that a character as simple as Tracer can be just as respectable a pick as someone super complex in terms of ability count like Ramattra is really neat! So arbitrarily forcing "complexity" onto characters can just as easily help as it can hurt. Remember the recent Mei rework? She got a passive! And people didn't like it!

So yeah, while I think some additions to kit complexity are great, like Zen's kick and trading Hog's awkward alt fire for a new ability, it's not essential for every character to follow suit.

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #asks

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milkthebunny · 2 years

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So, there are some things I really want to analyze in Be Kind, My Neighbor or else I'm gonna explode bzjqnzn

I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna get some of these right (which is honestly disgraceful considering I'm English major zhwjbzs) but I'm trying my best! I would love to hear your guys' analysis/opinions/thoughts on these things as well!!!

The Things I Will Be Discussing:

Lady Trudy

The Swans

That Scene (You know the one)

Lew

Spoilers under read more!

1. Lady Trudy

Lady Trudy is such an interesting character considering we don't know much about her. We mostly learn about her through the interactions with her followers. But since Yugo said that this story is an in part a conversation and critique of religion/religious cults/religious trauma, I feel Lady Trudy was supposed to be something of a foil for The Swans.

Lady Trudy gives her followers what they desire the moment they ask for it (i.e. Tillman desiring hair and quite literally becoming a bear), sets out her terms and conditions very clearly and seems to genuinely want to see her followers be happy. Lady Trudy actually loves her followers (well, as much as cult god can love something).

Lady Trudy's cult may be a reflection of a religion that's actually trying to do its best to help people and make them feel secure. There's no backdooring with their promises, the community seems very supportive of each other and overall, it's not the worse place to be. However, like every other organized practice, you begin to notice that things aren't completely okay and certain rules are beginning to effect you in ways that are not so great.

With Mr. Neighbor, he has to kill someone once a month in order to keep his body; the body that feels him feel like himself and feels safe and secure and Lady Trudy knows he feels those things too! But because Mr. Neighbor is still willing to go through with it despite now being extremely desensitized to death, there's no need to change it at all. And who knows what penances the other cult members must go through. It's a real "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" attitude in this religion.

But I think that's why the final scenes with Lady Trudy and Calum are so important. Mr. Neighbor calls out to her, begging for help and she comes. She fights for him because she cares. If Lady Trudy is supposed to represent a genuinely trying religion that's slowly falling apart, she realizes that despite something being wrong internally, her people still turn to her for guidance. Despite the problems are beginning to rot this religion from the inside, that everything they do/don't do is not helping and maybe even making everything worse, their followers still come because they trust them. And for religions that genuinely do care about their followers and realize that there's major problems too big to fix permanently, they do the next smartest thing.

They get rid of it.

Either built something completely new, something better than before or nothing at all. Sometimes some things are too broken to repair and you just need to retire them for the greater good.

When she takes Calum into the lake with her, they never appear again. They're gone forever. Lady Trudy lets everyone go because they would end up happier without her. That they'll live fulfilling lives, the one thing she strived for.

2. The Swans

Umm, I just wanted to talk about how fucking genius it was to make swans the symbol of this cult xhaunzs

Like, swans are a symbol of beauty, grace, acceptance of flaws and overall self love and the fact that this cult uses this animal while pursuing a person only because they want to use their body??? That they gave Wegg false love and manipulated him into thinking they genuinely cared for their own benefit???? Fucking amazing

Like, Wegg's whole thing is that he loves being a transman, that he loves his body and who he is as a person and thought that he finally found a place that accepted him. Only for Lew and his gang to only want Wegg for his body, for what he can do for them, to do anything it takes for Wegg to follow through including several months of manipulation and disguising ill intent as love. AND TO USE A SWAN AS THEIR FUCKING SYMBOL THROUGHOUT IT ALL

Also!!! Loving that swans, even outside of the context of Lew's cult, are connected to Wegg's journey. There are multiple scenes of him with swans in some way or another (this is my favorite example of that)

Because Wegg hasn't fully completed the cycle of self love. Yes, he loves being trans and loves his body and doesn't wish to transition and loves who he is as a person. But by the end of the day, he believes that others won't love him. All of his trauma has cemented in his mind that he will never find someone who genuinely loves him, that he's going to be used and turned away for the rest of his life. A part of self love is realizing that others will love you the same way you love you; that you are deserving of love and respect and there's so many people out there waiting to love you. And happily, Wegg learns that by the end and completes his cycle.

3. That Scene

I'm not going to lie, this scene is so hard for me personally to analyze and dissect because there's so many things it could mean and how emotionally heavy it is (When I tell you I physically heard the crack and the overwhelming silence afterwards). So, there's a 9/10 chance I'm going to interpret this wrong but I'm giving it a shot!

So, we all know that Mr. Neighbor's and Wegg's deal is mutually beneficial. Mr. Neighbor gets to kill for his penance without harming other people in town and Wegg gets to die via the hands of someone he trusts. Overall, it's pretty solid and they've been doing it for almost a year without any major problems. It's one of those things you see in real life relationships that you think is kinda weird but go, "Hey, if that's one of the things that keeps your relationship happy and healthy, it's none of my business. More power to ya".

Expect...it does become a problem. Mr. Neighbor is used to killing. When it's with Wegg, he used to getting the deed done and waiting for him to wake up again. But this time, Wegg is screaming. Crying about how much the rotting hurts. Vomiting. Begging for help, to kill him because it's too much and he doesn't know what to do. And when Mr. Neighbor finally does, he doesn't go about his usual routine. He sits there, holding Wegg's body, and starts wailing.

The closest symbolism or metaphor I think of for this is two people who do something together that seems beneficial but is actually unhealthy. Mr. Neighbor has never broken down about a death til it was this particular one. Because he had to kill Wegg so violently and he loves Wegg so dearly, something clicked. The real life equivalent of this may be you're doing the same thing you always do with your partner and they have an episode because of it (whether it be PTSD, anxiety attack, etc). And then you're filled with the ideas of, "What went wrong? We always do this so why is it bad now? Has it always made us suffer this way? Has it always hurt my partner but I never noticed? Has it been hurting me along too?"

Seeing Wegg hit his breaking point with the rot was Mr. Neighbor's breaking point. Maybe he's always felt something negative when he killed (like when he admitted he felt guilty about not giving Glenn what he wanted before killing him) and seeing the person he loves the most suffer and go through the killing action made he realize that something needs to change. That this has to stop and they need to find a better way to cope (which is turn leads back to the whole 'Lady Trudy represents a trying religion that it realizes it's faulty and releases everyone for the sake of their own happiness' thing).

4. Lew

Me and the homies fucking hate Lew!!!! There is only one line I want to talk about because it proves how much of a bastard he is. When he says, "You know...he loved me first" to Mr. Neighbor right before he dies. It truly shows how scummy of a man he truly is.

He understands the amount of trauma he has caused Wegg, with the manipulation and literally only wanting him to harbor Calum. He knows the amount of pain Wegg goes through monthly because of The Swans. And he feels the need to put one last sting into this relationship before it ends. So what if all of his cult members died and Calum is no more? He lost the war but he wants to win the battle because he knows its long lasting.

Lew knows that trauma never fully goes away. Wegg is healing and is finally in a peaceful place but the trauma will always be there. Processing trauma is such a hard experience and there are days when it feels like the pain is all you remember and get hurt all over again. The way to move past trauma is forge your future and to heal as time goes on (which is one of the main themes of BKMN) even though you can never change the past. He knows that Wegg will always remember him, remember his time in The Swans and he's proud of it.

So yeah, Lew is genuinely awful and I'm glad Wegg chose not to forgive him because he is undeserving and Wegg deserves a beautiful, happy future without him interfering.

So that's my analysis! I'm sorry if some of this is jumbled or doesn't make sense. I struggle with putting words down but I hope this is able to come off clearly to you! Thank you for reading this long ass post ❤

#As you can see I have a lot to say zhajbzs #Sorry about that. Hopefully this makes sense at least??#be kind my neighbor spoilers #bkmn spoilers

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davekat-sucks · 2 years

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Why did Eridan get done so dirty in homestuck and pesterquest? It's not fair, he's one of the cooler characters.

A prince I would always bow to wwhenevver he appears. A character that shows the horrendous side of the planet he lives on, taking advantage of the hemospectrum for being born on top, shows his own flaws, view the moments he genuinely cares for others when not seeking out the necessary relationships that his home planet enforces, the despair of dying from an unbeatable foe, and punished properly when those dark emotions made him make bad choices. Eridan is one that I love him as an antagonist and do believe that if he had gotten better treatment, he probably would play a bigger and best role as a villain compared to Gamzee. Or have potential to become good upon confronting his flaws and actions. People tend to exaggerate some of his traits like desperate for love due to personal experiences and sometimes ignore moments when he was not a horny motherfucker. Even now, people will label him as incel for that reason. Other characters said some innuendos or have some questionable sexual talks, but the excuse is either played for laughs and not flirtatious. Sometimes forgetting other characters like Equius or Gamzee have their own lewd moments. They also dislike him being racist towards lowerbloods, but forgets he is close friends with Karkat, Feferi points out that he never executes his plan to kill all land dwellers, and other characters like Vriska and Equius take pride in the blood. For Vriska's excuse, it's Vriska. Did nothing wrong bluh 8luh huge 8itch. For Equius, it's his moiraillegence with Nepeta that makes people think he is not so bad, despite that Equius would forbid Nepeta from being close to the lowbloods out of fear for their influence Not only that, people forget Nepeta also has to calm and tame the blueblood down for his own violence. It's not been brought up about how Nepeta became close to him, but Equius must have been quite unstable before Nepeta came along. Some fans can't accept the worst side of him, even when things like helping Feferi to feed her lusus or not wanting to die from an unstoppable enemy is understandable why he did what he had to do. We have seen what would have happened if Vriska fought Jack, causing a doomed timeline, but not many fans gave her shit for it. I don't know how or why they give Eridan a gender arc in the first place if it meant retconning existing canon material from the webcomic. Like how could Sollux's lusus(lusii) accept his son's choices if he is CHAINED UP ON TOP OF A BUILDING TO NOT CAUSE HAVOC. Is it because he is one of the few cis-males that is interested in the opposite sex at some points and want to get rid of that? I would believe it, considering the John June crap. Can't have based boys like John Egbert, Eridan Ampora, Caliborn, and Dirk Strider be around. Guys who accept themselves or enjoy being what they are.

It sucks with how Homestuck is treated to this point. Many characters have fallen from grace or altered because of bad writing to win the crowd with progressive brownie points. Eridan falls into that latter and I hate it. Not as wworse like others, but still just as bad. Best to stick with certain ones that you are cool with canon and ignore anything else beyond Act 6. It may be hard to find fanart or fanfics that portray him like a tool, but when you see it, you know that author/artist understands him and are not afraid to show it off because that's the kind of person Eridan is. Don't forget to also give money to artist that are able to commission it. Sometimes the most interesting kind of characters are the ones that shown their worst side. How it came to be growing up to the consequences it has upon them. They aren't perfect, but it gives potential for them to grow as a character.

#Eridan Ampora #Homestuck #homestuck epilogues #Pesterquest

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beedaboopwrites · 1 year

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Hopeless Love

When you truly love someone I mean truly, a part of them always stays with you, no matter how hard you try you can never let go completely. It sounds cute but its often not for the person actually bearing that part. Its like a shadow which never leaves and it follows you everywhere you go, whatever you do. Of course, when it gets dark you don't see the shadow but you know it's there, following you and even a small streak of light is enough for you to know that its there and that it never left. Just like the times when you fool yourself that maybe you have moved on but you are only fooling yourself, even the smallest of the things could bring back all those memories you buried deep hoping to get rid of them.

When you love someone, suddenly everything starts to make sense, you are the happiest then and even the littlest of the little things make you happy. You suddenly understand what those love songs meant and you listen to them all day cause they remind you of the love you developed. You think of them all day in fact they are the only thing you can possibly think of, suddenly everything reminds you of them, suddenly you have someone to care for, you have someone to trust, you start to think of a future, you start to feel loved and that's where you go wrong.

Just like how it takes two hands to clap, two halves to make a whole, two wings to fly and two legs to walk a love needs two hearts to grow. You need each other to grow. But when you become the only cause and strength of the house you build, it slowly falls apart cause there is only so much you can bear. Right when you start feeling loved it all comes crashing down. You are then caught in this lie and this feeling of deceitfulness. The future you thought of doesn't look so bright anymore. It's even worse than rejection honestly. The moment you understand that this was all one sided. And blinded by trust you gave someone something so precious hoping for him to do the same but you were blind, defenseless and he took the opportunity. Left you weaker than you already were.

It hits hard. Everything becomes sad. Everything around you becomes sad. Even when you smile it seems undeserving. The love songs you listened to, do not hold the same meaning anymore, they suffocate you and you start to hate them. But the world goes on, the same world which stopped when you fell in love, does not grieve with you. And despite of everything crumbling down you can't seem to blame the person who caused your downfall, instead you blame yourself. Cause, how can a moon be imperfect? It's perfectly round. If anyone is flawed then it's the observer who must be blind. You blame yourself for not being good enough, you blame yourself for being blind, you blame yourself for being the flaw even though you broke your back building the home alone, and you hate yourself for even thinking someone would love you.

Countless nights of crying yourself to sleep, days and days of looking into the mirror and searching for yourself, you start to wither. Your desperate attempts to gain sympathy from others is nothing but a hoax, it's not the sympathy you want. You want someone to understand you, you want someone to tell you that you are not the flaw, you want someone to give you hope. And when that does happen, when you start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, when you start to move on and when you successfully do, you become a person with a lesson. A lesson well learned.

You realize that it was never you to begin with. The moon is not perfect it only appears to be perfect. From a distance it's perfectly round but up close it has flaws and that observer saw right through it. You start to find yourself again. When you look in the mirror you see yourself but you also weep. Weep for girl you blamed, weep for the girl you were so unkind to, weep for the girl who loved and weep for the girl who finally found herself again.

Letting go, one of the hardest things to do. And when you finally do let go you give yourself a false hope. A hope of being completely free of that sorrow but the same littlest of the little things that made you happy, now haunt you forever, just like a shadow. You can't do anything but accept it as a part of yourself. A part you will take with you to the grave and maybe in the afterlife too. It's not a sin you know, to love, it's completely involuntary, it's what keeps us alive. To be able to love is both a blessing and a curse. Some people can handle it some can't. Sometimes it has consequences sometimes it doesn't but one thing is for sure that it needs efforts to grow.

Of course when you tell your peers about the part you just can't seem to get rid of they will tell you to "move on already" certainly by keeping your best interests in mind but what do they know? What does anyone ever know? Even you didn't know yourself a few days ago. But you wouldn't want them to understand anyways cause that would mean they would have to go through, what you call, hopeless love, where you hopelessly love someone and get blinded by that same love, heck you wouldn't even wish that upon your enemies.

#lovestories #relationship #heartbreak #romantic #sad stories

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sakurashell · 2 years

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Just spit it out

Content: loner!sub!eren, college au, friends to lovers, mutual pining, smut.

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x fem bodied reader

Content warning: minors do not interact. Explicit language, sub Eren, virginity loss, kind of dom/sub relationship, oral (m receiving), handjob, overstimulation, orgasm denial, light bondage, praise kink, slight degradation kink, unprotected sex, creampie, porn with plot.

Word count: 4.1 k

Summary: after years of being friends with Eren and months of trying to make him confess his crush on you, you get tired and decide to take the matter in your own hands.

A/n: this fic is part of @smfics ‘s reader’s in charge collab, so thanks to Sandra for the opportunity. It’s a super late entry (and it could have definitely been better) cause I’ve been on hiatus for a while, but I hope you’ll still enjoy it nonetheless. I don’t post fics longer than 3k on tumblr anymore, but this one was an exception precisely because it was supposed to be part of a collab. Also, it’s supposed to be funny so don’t take this seriously. If you’d like to read more of my works, here’s my ao3 account. If you decide to follow my blog, please make sure to read my rules before interacting. Reblogs are appreciated. I’m sorry for any possible mistake, I just wanted to post something for Eren’s birthday, enjoy <3

Eren doesn’t like meeting new people, you’ve been sure of it since the day you tried to introduce him to your friends, in a pointless attempt at getting rid of his loner status around the campus. He’s been your best friend since middle school, and honestly you still fail to fathom how on earth you’ve been able to make your way in his life, although unannounced. To this day, not even Eren’s capable of understanding what went differently with you, but he doesn’t mind your company at all.

You’re his opposite, having a completely contrary personality: you love going out, whereas he’d be happy if he had the opportunity to spend the rest of his days inside his house; you enjoy the company of people you’ve never seen, your ability to adapt to every situation almost enthralls him. Deep down, you’re aware the reason Eren can’t seem to be at least a little more open it’s because he’s bored. Extremely so.

He will probably never admit it, the last thing he wants is for others to think he deems himself as some sort of God who’s above everything and everyone, but nothing could explain the sensation he feels when he’s around a group of people or partaking in the activities students his age enjoy, if not boredom. He doesn’t even know what to call it, but you do. Despite this awareness, you’d never think of Eren as a superficial person or someone who believes everybody else isn’t worthy of his time, that’s precisely the reason he can’t be considered shallow, unlike a lot of the people you usually spend hours with.

Eren has a lot of high morals, which might be underestimated as well as misunderstood by others. Perhaps, you consider, that might have been what made you fall for him in the first place, instead of the guy who has a bunch of other girls’ number in his phone, but will excuse it by claiming that “it’s what happens when people like you”. You guess it could be true somehow —according to the twisted logic of modern society — but you prefer Eren’s loneliness tenfold.

And anyway, he’s not lonely. He has you.

You still have to meet a person who values loyalty and goodness as much as he does, and despite the fact he’s also frighteningly fixated on what’s good and what’s bad, and extremely determined once his mind’s focused on something, it’s impossible for you to count these as actual flaws. Not to mention, it’s only fair considering the fact that he’s actually able to put up with your attitude constantly, and you can be..a lot, sometimes, but Eren has never complained about it. Maybe it’s because he likes you, you’re sure that must be one of the reasons, but it can’t be the only one, right?

You’re not aware of the fact he has a crush on you because he told you —he would never— but his eyes and the way his cheeks tinge with red whenever you do just as much as touch him or be particularly affectionate, prompt you that there’s something more going on. Obviously, it’s not like he doesn’t know about your feelings, you’ve made it clear plenty of times in fact, but you believe Eren’s the type to ignore it to avoid a possible heartbreak, or the chance you might just be making fun of him.

Why would you want to be with him, when you have a lot of other guys —much hotter than he is— wrapped around your little finger? It would be stupid of you to even consider him as an option in the first place, so he takes your advances as nothing more than a joke. Just you being playful like usual, and it might be because he’s not experienced with girls and the mere thought of you being actually interested in him freaks him out, but he somehow convinced himself that the one in his head is the truth.

Eren is a good looking guy, which means girls actually find him attractive and some even tried to approach him at times (when you weren’t around, or they thought you weren’t around) which also ultimately leads you to believe you can trust your judgement when it tells you that’s just another proof of his hidden crush on you, because why would he —a nineteen years old boy in College, with a very much functioning penis and the brain of a guy— reject every single person equipped with a pair of titties and a vagina that shows even the slightest amount of interest in his regard, when you know he likes girls?

Of course he could be concealing his actual sexual orientation and perhaps you’ve got it wrong this entire time, but you talked with Eren about your reciprocate preferences regarding porn on multiple occasions, and he would have no reason to lie in the first place, for he’s aware you would accept him no matter what. He could be asexual, but we’re talking about the guy who had an erection watching you wearing a bikini for the first time in sophomore year, and although you may be ignorant about this particular subject (you definitely are), it just doesn’t seem a good option.

Additionally, he’s admitted —albeit begrudgingly— to fantasizing about certain situations (not that you know whether they include you, but the point remains).

Ultimately, you’ve decided to take the matter in your hands to prove your hypothesis to be correct, which is why you’re now knocking on the front door of your best friend’s house, with a small bag of clothes —tremendously short dresses, to be precise— you’ll have to put to test. Clearly, Eren will play the role of the examiner. You’re surprisingly nervous, but you suppose that’s what naturally happens when you have feelings for someone, and undoubtedly, he’s always been the only one capable of fazing you.

“Coming!” you hear him shouting, evidently running down the stairs.

It’s Sunday, so you know with certainty that his parents won’t be home until late evening, considering their —sweet, you must admit— habit of saving the last day of the week for themselves.

Your visit comes off as a surprise to Eren, who quirks his brows in confusion once he’s opened the door. He thinks about questioning your presence for a bunch of seconds, but the smile tugging on your lips and the way you tilt your head at him as you wait to be welcome inside make him reconsider his intentions.

“Hey,” he greets you, gesturing to you to step forward, “I wasn’t expecting you.”

Leaving your shoes at the entrance, you follow him to his room after he’s closed the door behind your back.

Truth be told, you could have definitely sent a quick text to inform him of your decision to spend the afternoon together, but there’s enough intimacy between you to show up to his house unannounced, and you will never refrain from taking advantage of the surprise effect.

Shrugging your shoulders, you reply, “I need your help with something, and I didn’t really want to hang out with the others. I like you more.”

God, he’s glad you can’t see his face right now, because his cheeks are burning and he’s pretty sure that whatever he was going to say has withered in his throat automatically.

Instead of answering, he nods briefly and invites you into the room you’re more than familiar with, having spent so much of your time just eating snacks on his bed and watching shows that he didn’t even like for the most part. Not that you cared, for your mere purpose had always been that of getting closer to him.

“So, uhm..what do you need my help for?” he sits down at the edge of the mattress, palms spread at his sides as he looks at you.

His eyes skim quickly over your outfit —not imperceptibly— drinking in the sight of the short black skirt and your bare thighs, then the way the white blouse you’re wearing gently caresses your collarbones, the first few bottoms left open to expose your cleavage. It’s astonishing, how you’re capable of enhancing such a blank outfit. Honestly, Eren believes you’d look gorgeous even in his worst clothes.

“I’m going out with a boy tonight.” you affirm, and the brunet’s stomach immediately twists painfully at the mention of your date. He has so many questions, but he refuses to let his jealousy get the best of him. “I bought some dresses, I’m gonna try them out and you’ll tell me which one you like more, okay?”

You struggle to keep a serious face when Eren’s blinking slowly in confusion —or incredulity— after your announcement, brows slightly furrowed as he gulps down, Adam's apple visibly bobbing in his throat at the gesture. Is the thought of you wearing skimpy dresses in front of him, or the awareness that you’re putting so much effort into your look to go out with a boy he doesn’t even know the name of to spur a similar reaction? Whichever might be the option, you dare yourself not to ask. For now, that is.

“I— are you sure?” he manages to burble out, hesitation dripping from his tone, “I don’t...want to disrespect you or something.”

You chuckle, an amused smile breaking on your face, “You’re not going to see me naked ‘Ren, I just wanna know which dress you prefer.”

Right, he’s most definitely not going to see you naked, but what about this guy? Shamefully taking a hold of his own thoughts regarding the situation, he limits himself to a simple, court nod at your proposal, trying to enjoy at least the time he gets to spend with you.

“Okay then, I’ll go put on the first one. I’ll be back in a minute.” you state, walking out of his room to reach the bathroom.

Needless to say, the portion of time in your absence that you gift to him is nothing but pure torture, his mind raging with so many thoughts he’s afraid it might either explode or cause him a heart attack in the long run. Afflicted by doubts, he succumbs to his insecure nature and the obstinate conscience of his own..inappropriateness, when it comes to you.

It’s painfully obvious that someone like him could never —not in a million years, not in a different reality— be enough for someone like you, for he doesn’t even come close to having the qualities he deems your partner should own. Eren, with this very same awareness, fails to believe you’d actually want him by your side, no matter how many times you’ve told him, no matter if you mean it thoroughly.

Whether it’s because of his sense of inferiority, or the extremely flattering adjectives that he bestows to you and the consequent high position you own in his personal scale of people he deems overall good, Eren can’t accept the sole idea that you might truly want to be with him.

To avoid the sweat from starting to drip down his temples from how hard he’s thinking, he leaves the comfort of the mattress to wander around his room and unleash some anxiety. He’s absurdly and ridiculously nervous, but most of all, annoyed by the way he seems to continuously contradict himself, because truth be told, Eren doesn’t want you to go out with someone else.

Luckily —or unfortunately— his thoughts are suddenly interrupted by your return, while he’s busy fiddling with the cover of a book resting over his desk. Your steps are subtle thanks to the lack of shoes, but he still catches on the faint sound of your feet coming in contact with the wooden surface of the parquet.

When he turns his head around, his heart skips a beat —maybe more— at the sight. A black, tight and short sheath dress embraces your curves perfectly, the satin fabric shining under the yellowish light of his room, casting a soft reflection over the piece of clothing. The straps are thin on your shoulders, barely even noticeable, and definitely not a source of distraction. A soft heart-shaped neckline invokes the attention to your breast, and your collarbones almost look like an invitation.

Eren hardly manages to gather enough air in his lungs to breathe as you await for his valuable opinion.

“So? What do you think?” you impatiently probe, raising your brows at his absent expression, “Do you want me to turn around?”

He doesn’t answer, a reaction that leaves you slightly startled and makes your confidence falter.

“Who’s the guy?” he asks abruptly, catching you off guard.

“Huh?”

“Who’s the guy you’re going out with?” he repeats, voice firm and tone steady.

You shrug, “Oh, it’s just Jean.”

You discern it clearly, the hint of disgust and annoyance painted on his features. Truthfully, he doesn’t even try to conceal it, too busy reveling in the unpleasant sensation that’s flooding through his body at your reply.

Jean Kirstein is attractive, popular, charming, outgoing. He’s everything Eren isn’t, but he’s also a jerk when it comes to dealing with girls, and his well-known crush on Mikasa makes his attempts at replacing her with someone else painfully obvious.

“You’re wasting your time with him, don’t go.” he utters confidently, the scowl on his face enhancing his seriousness.

“It’s nothing serious, we’re probably just going to fuck and never hang out again.” you chortle lightly, but he remains unfazed.

What people tend to overlook about Eren, is that although he might not look like the type to actually pay attention to what you’re saying most of the time, he seizes everything in his memory and notices every single little detail, especially when it concerns you, so it goes without saying that he recalls perfectly every occasion in which a guy like Jean has asked you to go out with them. It’s also no wonder that he’s used to the idea of you having sex with someone else, but witnessing you actually trying to impress a guy —a behavior that doesn’t belong to you in the slightest— and being aware that Jean is the one who’s going to have the honor of seeing you like this make the blood seeping through his veins boil.

“He likes Mikasa, he’s just using you.”

“I know, I don’t care.” with no trace of bother in your tone, you continue, “Why do you care so much?”

You take a step forward, the genuinely curious expression you’re wearing being a sign of your hidden amusement.

He wavers, but eventually answers. “You deserve someone better, that’s it.”

Decisive and menacing, you close off the inches separating you from him entirely with a bunch of slow steps, his breath getting stuck in his throat at the proximity.

“Someone better you said?” you tilt your head to the side, captivating eyes boring into his green ones, “Like who?”

With your sweet scent filling his nostrils and the way your hand shoots up to rest on his chest, thinking about something reasonable to say seems impossible, and Eren lacks the bravery to reply as you’d like him to.

“I—” he averts his gaze multiple times, attempting to reduce the tension unsuccessfully, “I don’t know. Just not him.” he finally mumbles, a deep scowl on his face. “Or anyone like him.”

With a snort of amusement, rather than mockery as he always assumes, you fix the collar of his shirt absentmindedly.

“You know, Eren, I’d wear a thousand dresses much better than this one for you.” you speak softly, with every intention of bewitching him, “You like me, don’t you? Why won’t you give me a chance? I wouldn’t even spare the others a glance if I had the opportunity to be with you.”

Eren’s heart is hammering so hard in his chest, that the fear of you feeling it underneath the pads of your fingers makes him tenfold more nervous. He’s tired —exhausted, really— of ignoring his feelings for you in name of his profound insecurity, and being selfish as he innately is, he finally yields to his desire.

“I’m not on your level but I..I could treat you better than they can.” he breathes out, mustering the courage to look at you, “I like you, I don’t want you to go out with him.”

Your gaze is gentle as your fingers caress his jaw, a satisfied smile emerging on your face. The humble, often too modest nature of Eren and his pure kindness are precisely what made you fall for him in the first place, hard and unexpectedly, but you could never regret it.

“Well then, will you let me show you how good I can treat you?” you cajole on his lips, as he draws in a sharp intake of breath at your boldness.

He might be a virgin, but he’s not stupid.

“Are— are you sure?”

You scoff, “Absolutely.”

Then your lips are on his, confident and craved for, so much so that Eren fears his knees might give up on him all of a sudden, if he doesn’t control the adrenaline swelling in his chest as your fingers run over his undercut. He tastes just as you expected, minty and fresh and simultaneously oh so very sweet. Your tongue darts out, asking for permission to enter his mouth as you push him towards the bed once again, forcing him to sit on it and giving you the possibility to straddle his lap. Tentatively, he places his palms on your waist to bring you closer, eager for more, but still considerate in his gestures.

There’s reluctance in his touch, but a desperate need to discover you at the same time. His best friend, the woman he’s wanted for so long. He almost struggles to believe any of this is actually real and not just a mere fragment of his foolish imagination.

There’s electricity rushing through your body at the airy whimper he lets out when you rub slowly against his growing bulge, your lips moving from his mouth to his jaw, down to the base of his throat —where you take your time to leave a pretty colored mark, sucking and nibbling at his skin.

“‘Ren, I really wanna suck you off.” you whisper in his ear a moment after, teeth tugging on his lobe as his movements stall. “Can I?”

He feels ecstatic, unable to say no to you, “Yes please.”

Doing your best to hide your impatience, you get down from his lap and immediately make your way to his wardrobe, hands reaching for the second drawer at the bottom with a known familiarity, pulling out one of his belts. The baffled expression that welcomes you back isn’t unexpected in the slightest, but you find no resistance to fight back your actions as you climb into the bed behind him to immobilize his wrists, before settling between his spread legs, bare knees pressed against the floor.

“Why did you tie me up?” he asks, so innocently that your cunt almost throbs in response.

“Because I wanna play with you a little.” you affirm, unzipping his pants and freeing his cock from the painful restrictions that his boxer briefs constituted.

It sits pretty and heavily in your hand, the tip already leaking pre-cum as you wrap your fingers around it, teasingly rubbing your pad over the slit. He jolts, taken aback by the sudden sensation and overwhelmed by the sight of you sitting between his thighs, his dick in your hand as you slowly start to move it up and down. It feels nice, touching him, but tasting him feels even better once you shamelessly lay your tongue flat against his shaft, licking from the base down to the head.

“Ah fuck—” he groans in surprise, abs flexing as you focus on twirling your tongue around the sensitive tip.

However, before he’s capable of actively beginning to complain, you engulf his length almost entirely, bobbing your head up and down with no rush whatsoever. The few times you give him rest once you’ve started your ministrations and picked up a steady pace, it’s solely to spit on his cock and make a mess out of it, eyes shamelessly requiring attention as you gaze up at him and hollow your cheeks around his girth. You stimulate with your hand what you can’t reach, concentrating on his balls as well.

Your lips are swollen, his abs are flexing underneath his shirt, but you never get to the point of gagging or deep throating. Willing to savor every second, you decide to not allow him to finish in your mouth.

“God, it feels so fucking good..” he moans, “I think— I think ‘m gonna cum.”

Just like that, the bliss brought by your mouth it’s gone in less than a second, leaving him high and dry, chest heaving with frustration and breath hitching as he glares at you.

“I’m sorry ‘Ren, I can’t let you cum just yet.” you feign an apologetic pout, but the way your hand starts moving up and down again, just to stop every time his whimpers and delightful moans grow louder, contradicts your faux compassion for his terrible ache.

Whenever he’s on the edge, you take away his pleasure viciously and mercilessly with the nonchalance of someone who knows exactly what they’re doing, someone who enjoys it, even. He sees it in your eyes, the way they sparkle with each feeble, pathetic little whine you’re able to elicit from his pretty parted lips as his legs tremble and his chest heaves.

“I need to cum— shit , just let me fucking cum.” he begs, the throaty plea sounding like music to your ears.

“Oh, you’re such a desperate little baby, aren’t you?” you coo, palm rubbing against the tip as he closes his eyes and whimpers at your cruelty, “Ask nicely and I’ll give you what you want, maybe even more.”

Admittedly, a release is something you’re looking forward to yourself, considering the way your slick is smearing your panties and your clit is painfully throbbing against the fabric, creating a rather discomforting fraction.

Eren, much to your relief, sighs in surrender and exhaustion, “Please, please let me cum. I need it so bad.”

With a smile on your face you stand up immediately, hands reaching for your underwear underneath your dress to slide it off your legs in a swift motion, before raising the hem of the black piece of clothing and climbing on top of his lap once again, grabbing his still fully erected cock in your hand and aligning it with your dripping entrance. Lowering yourself above him, you both let out a satisfied gasp as your walls suck him inside and clung to his length as though willing to keep it in their warm embrace forever.

Eren is so fucked out that he can’t even thoroughly fathom the fact that you’re taking his virginity and marking him with your mouth while bouncing on his cock, the only thing he knows is that his fingers are twitching with the necessity to touch you. To feel you.

“You’ve been such a good boy, you deserve this.” you praise, running your fingers through his short hair as your lips hover over his and you keep up the pace of your movements, “How does it feel, hm?”

“Amazing.” he huffs, forehead resting against yours as he basks in the sensation of your hole clenching around his length the more you go on. You smell good, you taste good, you look even better. “You feel amazing.”

You smile tenderly, rotating your hips frantically, eager to finally bring him to his peak. You know he’s close, you can easily discern the way his veins pulsate against your walls.

“Cum inside me ‘Ren, c’mon. Give it all to me.”

Perhaps it’s the fact that he’s no longer lucid, or the fact that you’re the one purring the words on his mouth right before swallowing his moans with a kiss, but Eren reaches his orgasm immediately at your invitation —followed by you right after—his warm release filling you up as you lazily guide him through his high.

His breath his short as he observes you silently, your hands getting rid of the belt blocking his wrists behind his back before you can lift your hips just enough for him to pull out. Wearily, but unquestionably satisfied, Eren eventually brings his hand to your cheek, stroking it with his thumb affectionately. His touch lingers on your face for a while, enough for you to lean in it, relishing the fondness of the gesture.

Kissing his palm, you finally utter, “Mine.”

#eren x y/n #eren x you #eren x reader smut #eren x reader #aot fic #aot smut #eren jaeger fic #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger x reader smut #eren jaeger x you #eren jaeger x reader #attack on titan fic #attack on titan smut #shingeki no kyoujin eren #eren aot #attack on titan eren

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benevolentbirdgal · 3 years

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Purim: a Jewish holiday and wild ride from start to finish

So let me tell you about the absolute soap opera that is the Jewish holiday of Purim. The scene is set in ancient (appx. 4th century B.C.E.) Persia during the first Jewish Diaspora, in the city of Shushan (typically identified in secular sources as Susa, a now-abandoned ancient city in what is now Iran). I’m telling you, as a work of literature (even beyond theological implications for Jewish people), this book has everything: love, drama, royalty, intrigue, ego, plots, irony, mystery, and a strong female lead.

[some non-slur swearing below]

Ahasuerus, party-loving king of Persia executed or exiled (translations argue) his wife Vashti, and had to find a new queen. Why did he do this, you ask? Well, it really starts with an 180-day party across his kingdom for all his subjects to celebrate the third year of his reign. After that absolute rager, party-bro KA has another one immediately after for a week, this time just for the capital city of Shushan. Vashti was having a woman’s party in her quarters, presumably living her best life, when party-bro sends his top seven yes-men to deliver a message to Vashti. This sleaze-ball wants her to appear at his party in front of everyone, wearing her crown, with the clear implication being only her crown. Vashti more or less tells him to pound sand (I mean, not the literal translation, but that’s the sentiment).

KA’s advisors convince him that this is not only an offense against the king but also against all the men in the country (ah, the joys of ancient patriarchy and toxic af masculinity). KA writes a degree that women must respect their husbands so he has an official reason to get rid of Vashti. Vashti is soon thereafter out of the picture and the king is short a queen. Whether she was a Wise Lady With A Point Who Got Screwed Over or a Vicious Jew-Hating Adulteress Who Had It Coming has been a matter of furious debate for over two millennia (the Babylonian Talmud and the Jerusalem Talmud vociferously disagree on her). In any case, KA regrets it pretty quick and wants a new queen.

At the behest of his advisors (you know, since their last advice worked out soooooo well), KA had a big contest/forcible gathering of young women from around his kingdom and a Jewish woman, Hadassah, was the winner. Hadassah was an orphan raised by her cousin Mordechai in the city of Shushan. Hadassah is more commonly known as Esther, because she changed her name to hide her identity as a Jew (at the behest of Mordechai). In any case, KA decided he liked Esther best and she became queen (it’s specifically mentioned both that he loved her most and that the palace staff liked her because she was nice to them-it’s unclear how much of an influence the latter was).

Concurrently, a wicked man named Haman was the top advisor to the king and the king would basically rubber-stamp whatever Haman wanted. Haman was a raging Jew-hater-this will be relevant later.

Some time into Esther’s reign as queen, Mordechai, who has taken to hanging around the gates of the palace to keep in touch with Esther, overhears a plot by two guards, Bigthan and Teresh, to kill the king. Mordechai alerts his cousin, and she tells the king. It’s recorded in the book of deeds and life keeps moving.

Some time later, Haman decides (after a promotion to head lackey) that he wants all to bow to him as he passes. Mordechai refused to bow to Haman every single day (citing that as a Jew he bowed to no man), and that did not sit well with Haman. So despite being prime minister and presumably having more important things to do, “genocide the Jews” made it to the top of to-do list. He didn’t like them before, and Mordechai refusing to treat him like a special snowflake was something he took really, really personally (totally can’t think of any modern politicians like that, nope). He told KA, who frankly doesn’t seem to ask enough questions, that there was a people disrespecting the king and his laws throughout the land, and could he pretty-please exterminate them. As a bonus, Haman would “donate” 10,000 silver kikar to the royal treasury (modern conversion vary, but all agree this an absurd amount on money).

KA handed him the royal seal to do so. Haman was feeling lucky I guess so he decided the best course of action was to draw lots to pick the day for the massacre. [Purim is lots in Hebrew, so that’s where the name of the holiday came from]. The message went out to all the provinces that on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, that they citizens and leaders should murder all of the Jews, young and old, man, woman, and child, rich and poor and take their possessions as spoils.

As this wasn’t exactly a state secret, the Jews knew and were quite distressed. The planned slaughter was like a year out, but what the actual fuck were they supposed to do? If you lived in Persia at that point that, the empire was functionally your entire world, unless you were fabulously/ridiculously wealthy and well-connected. Having several months notice the other locals and your rules were going to slaughter you and take your stuff isn’t particularly useful when there’s really nowhere to go.

In Shushan, Mordechai (who, although not explicitly in text, is in oral/Talmudic tradition a leader of the Jewish community) goes into mourning. He dresses in sackcloth and ashes, he weeps, and he fasts at the gates of the palace, as Jews throughout shushan and the kingdom are doing. Esther hears of her cousin’s mourning behavior and tries to send along nice clothes through a messenger, which he refuses. It is then that she learns of the decree. Mordechai (through the messenger) implores her to go ask the king if the Jews not getting murdered could be a thing. Esther explains that she could be killed for approaching the king unsummoned. Mordechai stresses the severity of the situation. Esther agrees to ask the king and tells Mordechai to have the Shushan Jewish community fast day and night (as opposed to just day as prior) for three days, and she and her handmaidens will fast too (no word on what the handmaidens thought of this).

On the third day, Esther bravely approached the king, asked him if she could request something. He said anything, up to half his kingdom (which implies to me that homedude, for all his flaws, was actually into her). Esther invited him to a party, where he and Haman would be the only guests. At the party she asks if she can another request. KA is open to it and she invites him to another party the next night. Party-bro king is obviously down and Haman is tickled to death at this second invitation.

He goes home to brag to his wife, Zeresh, about the invite and also to bitch about how angsty he is Mordechai is still alive (this angst reignited by passing him on the way home). Zeresh suggests he have fifty-foot gallows built to make Mordechai an example on, with the king’s permission, ASAP. Haman orders the building of the gallows, feeling secure in the knowledge that his bestie the king will execute Mordechai on them.

Back at the castle KA can’t sleep. He demands a bedtime story from the his records, because those will presumably put him to sleep. The story that gets read, ~coincidentally~, is of Mordechai saving KA’s life. Haman had sidled on up to the castle to speak to the king about killing Mordechai, and the king called him in. KA asks Haman, if he were to honor someone, what should he do? Haman is thinking “this is obvi about me” and tells the king that the honoree should be donned in royal clothing, and ride through the streets on a fancy horse with people someone shouting how great he is. KA is like great, love it, perf, go do that for Mordechai. Haman is not a happy camper but does the thing. After that, he goes home and tells Zeresh about it, who warns him that this is a very bad sign.

Finally, that night is the night of Esther’s second soiree. Haman and KA attend. The latter offers to Esther anything she wants, up to half of his kingdom. Esther asks that her life, and the life of her people be spared. KA is like “whomst” and Esther revealed it was Haman. At this point Ahasuerus.exe stops working and he takes a walk to the gardens. He comes back to see Haman begging Esther for his life, and KA thinks Haman is assaulting her. Haman was seized by nearby guards.

One of the chamberlains is then like, hey, KA, coincidentally there’s these super high gallows Haman just had built. Why not take care of the problem that way? (The fact that the random nearby chamberlain was like yup, that dude, hang ‘em in the morning, probably says a lot about how Haman treated most people around him, even more than forcing all to bow to him). KA orders it be done.

Not that Haman was around to be sad about it, but what happened next would have massively pissed him off, as his old job then went to Mordechai. Esther then implored of the king that the degree to allow the massacre of the Jews be reversed. The king couldn’t Cntrl+Z the order to murder-all-the-Jews, but he could issue an order that they could fight back. The proclamation was sent throughout the land, and the Jews were able to prepare. Since the royal decree had been amended, the governments (princes, governors, satraps) largely reformulated their plans accordingly, but plenty of Jew-haters still wanted to use the opportunity. The ability to self-defend meant that the communities weren’t massacred. In most of the kingdom, the Jews were now safe. Outside of Shushan, the fourteenth of Adar became a feast day.

Shushan was still not safe though. Antisemites were still out and mad (and apparently had not learned from the previous day), so Esther asked the Jews of Shushan to be allowed to defend themselves once more. Her wish was granted, and the Shushan Jews were able to defend themselves once more (so Purim is celebrated a day later in walled cities).

The story ends with the decision to write it down, and although there some debate on authorship, it is traditionally attributed to Esther herself cowriting with Mordechai.

Nowhere in the book is God mentioned. Nowhere is there divine intervention (at least not explicitly). Just Jews sticking up for themselves, being brave in the face of mortal peril, and a metric fucktown of chutzpah.

#jumblr #purim #purim story #jewish soap opera for real though #purim 2021 #purim 5781 #what is purim #purim explained #jewblr

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drake-the-incubus · 3 years

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/rp

EDIT: Added a read more, the post had been originally written on mobile

For context, unless stated otherwise for the most part, this is the roleplay dynamic.

Ayyy, been seeing some Dream SMP takes on Tommyinnit’s character development that are pretty uh, piss poor. I want to point some obvious things out to people. Especially following the Technoblade/Tommyinnit team disbanding.

Techno isn’t right. Techno was certainly not in the right there, and Tommy didn’t do anything that regressed his character either, his entire character came to a development.

Let’s Start by pointing out that Wilbur has posted their Dungeons and Dragons Alignments, where Techno is Lawful Neutral and Tommy is Chaotic good. (For sake of the post, Tubbo is Lawful Good.)

So I’m going to break down exactly what was going on there and how it developed the characters.

If we go by Technoblade first, I’m seeing a lot of people say he’s better than Dream- he is- and therefore Tommy shouldn’t have left. Which is true, Techno is better than Dream, but he’s just like Wilbur. Watching from Technoblade’s POV, you notice that he starts carrying a book of the To-Do List he intends to do with Tommy. Outlining that he wants to destroy L’Manburg and tried, at almost every chance he got, to convince Tommy to do so.

Tommy said no, he didn’t want to destroy L’manburg, because he cared for it. He outright said no, he JUST wanted his discs back.

Techno concedes, saying Tommy doesn’t have to participate, only after failing to convince him many times.

Techno the entire time, tried to convince Tommy that Tubbo wasn’t his friend, that Tubbo obviously doesn’t care for him. (Not true, as Tubbo literally mourned him and thought he was dead and it destroyed him.) Which is EXACTLY what Wilbur did.

This is an isolation tactic. Techno used ANY means necessary to try and recruit Tommy. Because his character doesn’t care about interpersonal relationships so long as he gets his goal- possibly excluding Phil. His entire character sticks to one set of Morals and set of laws he’s self imposed. (Canonically refusing to truly give up violence).

1. Governments are bad.

2. Governments must be destroyed.

3. The means justify the ends so long as it destroys the government.

Technoblade’s character gets a lot of sympathy, which is cool, but I want to point out while he personally was felt betrayed, he never was.

Techno from the start, was anti-government. Willing to destroy it all so long as another country was never rebuilt. That was his only condition.

Except he KNEW everyone else wanted L’manburg back, that’s what the fight was about. It was very transparent that everyone else was working for L’manburg back.

The three people who wanted it destroyed? Wilbur, Dream and Techno.

Techno wasn’t betrayed, he chose to ignore the goals of his allies until it came time that everyone took back L’manburg. He ignored knowledge that was given to him plenty of times, by Tommy himself even. They wanted L’manburg back. Techno talks of betrayal, but when Tommy points out that Techno betrayed them, he falters and excuses himself.

Which brings Tubbo into the mix. Tubbo was an ally, and he was working with them, WILLINGLY, to give information because he wanted to take down Schlatt and return L’manburg to how it was. He was trapped, scared and wanted help. In the festival, when Technoblade shoots him, THAT is a clear act of betrayal. Techno kills Tubbo, at Schlatt’s orders, betraying Tubbo and Tommy’s trust in him as he worked, clearly, for the other side, against their collective goals.

Techno claims the ends justify the means, and that he was under mild amounts of peer pressure. This is an example of his character. He doesn’t feel bad for hurting his ally, because they got something out of it. If it suits him, he WILL hurt his allies to get ahead in his goals, and he will say anything to justify it.

Tommy’s character cannot agree with this. He values friendship the most, and would give up his goals for his friends, as a true Chaotic Good, he values his friends and the people around him, over any law or morals, and would break his laws and morals for it.

He couldn’t understand Techno shooting Tubbo, because he wouldn’t. There wouldn’t be a force on the SMP that could make him shoot Tubbo in Techno’s place. They have too widely different views, where Tommy values friendship and people, Techno values ideals and goals.

So, we’re not even done and this is pretty long, let’s cover Tommy and the discs. The entire plot device for season one and two.

Tommy’s attention to the discs are goal oriented, to get back his discs no matter the costs, yeah? Except I feel like some of you have no idea where this goal came from. Tommy gave up the discs before, despite fighting for them desperately, so his friends could have L’manburg. He fought desperately, to have those discs back initially, as a war against Dream.

“Before this, before everyone, before L’manburg, it’s always been me and you, against Dream.” Tommy to Tubbo, before the Pogtopia vs Manburg war. (Might not be a true quote.)

This isn’t just a cute little moment, Tommy CARES for Tubbo deeply, they’re some of the closest friends on the SMP. He fought Techno because Techno killed Tubbo. It was personal for him, that is his best friend and he would do anything for him.

Tommy does, do anything for Tubbo, promising that no matter what, it will be the both of them. That they will always be together. This isn’t showing his hero complex, this isn’t a show of some inherent flaw. This is Tommy’s closest and most valuable interpersonal relationship. Chaotic Good Tommy values his friendships deeply.

So when Techno continuously tries to pressure Tommy into believing Tubbo and him aren’t friends, that Tubbo doesn’t care, and so they should hurt Tubbo to get the discs back, Tommy refuses. He refuses over and over again, claiming he trusts Tubbo will give back the disc.

Technoblade uses the framework Dream made, by the way, to accomplish this. He takes Tommy’s fragile mental state and uses that to his advantage. He does what Wilbur does, and almost succeeds. Tommy falters, believing momentarily that Tubbo doesn’t care. Something Dream was trying to convince him of in his isolation. Which isn’t true. Tubbo, upon learning Tommy is dead, is in disbelief and despair.

Let’s talk about the hostage situation for a moment. Tommy tells Tubbo off for not coming to his beach party, and that he was never visited, never received letters, and he was told the same thing from Tubbo as Wilbur said; “I wasn’t invited. I did send you things.”

The broken relationship we see? It’s falsely constructed by Dream. That bond exists still, fractured because someone came in with the intentions to break and destroy Tommy’s interpersonal relationships and manipulate him.

Tommy’s exile arc, was an abuse arc. Tommy was regularly abused by Dream. Techno profited off it, and used Tommy’s fragile mental state to try and achieve his goals, not even trusting Tommy until, in his fragile state, they both threaten Fundy. Techno sees this as commitment to the cause.

Tommy wanted his discs, Techno wanted L’Manburg destroyed.

So when the community house was destroyed, and we get that scene with Techno going with Tommy, they both have a moment. But I’ll address that in a second.

First, Tommy rushes in to defend himself, saying he didn’t destroy the community house. That he was innocent.

Tubbo doesn’t believe him. Why? Because Tommy does this. Tommy destroys things, he burned George’s house (taking the fall for Ranboo), he did plenty of things.

Tommy and Tubbo fight, and Tommy says, “the discs were worth more than you ever were”. This line, I’ve seen it interpreted many ways, one being he used to value the discs over Tubbo, and another being his values as a character.

It’s neither, by the way. It’s a heat of the moment comment, it shocks Tommy into silence, he instantly regrets it. He hates that he said it. Tommy’s goals, in that moment, change, based on his alignment. His goal doesn’t matter, if it’s hurting the people he cares for. It’s hurting Tubbo, it’s time to get rid of the goal.

In that instant, the discs do not matter. They mean nothing. Tommy doesn’t care for them. This is the moment that he GROWS as a character. Instead of obsessively wanting the discs and harming his friends for it, he is willing to let them go so he can foster his friendship. His arc, comes to an end. He doesn’t choose to be a hero again, that’s not what that is. No, he chooses his friend, the one he’s put so much faith and trust into, over something he has realized doesn’t mean more.

He tells Tubbo to give the disc to Dream, because he doesn’t care about them anymore, the sentimentality he has with them and Tubbo mean nothing if he loses Tubbo. Chaotic Good, he chooses the people over his goals and morals (which change on a whim).

Techno, who was using the discs to get Tommy to cooperate, who only recently thought Tom y and him were equals, is enraged because he can’t understand it. He can’t understand Tommy giving up his goal, because he couldn’t. His goals and ideals, they never went away in retirement, he was always wanting to destroy the government, he was planning it behind Phil’s back even. Everything he did was in preparation for a war. I think, even without the execution, Techno would have gone back to his ideals to destroy the government.

Which is why Techno, is angry. He feels betrayed, because once again, the outcome that was obvious happened, and someone stuck to their own words. Tommy would never harm Tubbo, and he wasn’t going to help Techno against L’Manburg.

But Tommy doesn’t do it maliciously against Techno, willing to even try and stay friends, showing he still cared for him. Tommy values his friends, including Techno in that moment.

What Techno sees is Tommy’s betrayal, Tommy broke their alliance because his goal is gone. “Help me get back the discs.” Tommy said when they made that deal. That no longer applies, Tommy was never intending on helping with the destruction of L’Manburg or the death of his friend.

Techno, once again, convinced himself that he would be assisted in his goal despite the vocal outcry against it.

So what does Techno do? He gets revenge. He teams up with Dream immediately.

That’s Techno’s character. Interpersonal bonds mean nothing if they get in the way of his goal, but he doesn’t go out of his way to purposefully destroy them. The MOMENT Tommy isn’t with him, Techno doesn’t have an issue with Dream or what he’s done.

Techno willingly teams up with Tommy’s abuser, because he gets his goal.

Tommy, who still cares for Techno is in shock at this. He sees Techno as a friend, like Tubbo. This hurts him.

Techno, later, even goes on to say he doesn’t care for friends so long as the people he’s with share his ideals, ending into the extreme of his alignment.

Techno has never been a good guy. He’s an antagonist of the SMP. Particularly, he’s not a villain, but antagonist. He’s an obstacle. Not via his person, but his goals.

And he wins, and he tells Tommy, “you never saw me as a person, only a weapon, you betrayed me twice now”.

Tommy, who has seen them as friends, after Techno broke their friendship off the first time with the withers, counters, “and what of Schlatt and what you did to Tubbo”.

Which Techno dismisses as, “in the past” and “it doesn’t matter”. To Techno, it’s not relevant how he treats others, his betrayal to other people doesn’t matter, just the perceived betrayal towards himself.

In the end, Techno is blinded by his beliefs. They controlled him to the extremes. To the point where he would burn any bridge made to keep them.

But Tommy? Tubbo? They gave up L’Manburg, to make their own little place. No vocal apologies were given, yes, and they should address that, but they gave up the country to be together as friends.

And for anyone wondering, Tommy and Tubbo are friends again, through action. Tommy, contrasting his words, gave the discs up to repair his friendship.

Techno, true to his word, destroyed the country and killed anyone who stood in his way. Even going out of his way sometimes to target Tubbo and Tommy.

In short, Techno was a second Wilbur to Tommy, and it shows that some people ignored the subtle manipulation attempts to achieve his goal. Is he as bad as Dream? No, not even close actually. But he’s as bad as Wilbur.

I also want to point something out on ages. Techno is canonically an adult. Tommy is a child, a kid. He’s a kid. The dynamic between them was skewed.

Techno saw a kid, in distress, and in a poor mental state, and tried to manipulate him.

When the kid figured out he didn’t want his goal anymore, he backed out. Techno punished him, by repeating what would be a huge source of trauma for him.

Techno tried to destroy L’Manburg, and succeeded. And he told Tommy that, “you could have just sat out”.

Tommy couldn’t. Because Tubbo is, and always will be, his closest friend. He values his bonds, but he promised Tubbo it was the two of them.

As Philza is the exception to Techno’s alignment, the promise to Tubbo is the exception to Tommy.

There was no betrayal, but a shift in goals and ideals from Tommy, which lead to Tommy and Technoblade no longer needing to be allies.

The narrative isn’t supposed to be black and white, that’s most of the characters. Techno being a big perpetrator of this. The narrative is a morally Grey area, where you can side with whoever you want.

That’s it, that’s the meta.

- Signed, A Techno and Tommy apologist

#Dream SMP #Meta Analysis #text post #Technoblade #Tommyinnit #Tubbo

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skulljackxiii · 3 years

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Total Dangan Island

Contestant No. 1.5: Izuru Kamukura

History: He came from an unremarkable home with unremarkable parents with a lifestyle that wasn’t either tragic or rewarding, therefore of course a child of this background would be nothing special. Early in his childhood the boy knew this, he knew what he could do and what other people saw him as, so he felt why bother striving for things higher if he was already expected to be average. Despite the boy's content with his life, his parents were quite the opposite, they wanted more from him. This goes beyond just parents wanting their child to have a better future out of love, rather there was more of an underlying sense of greed and envy behind their motive.

Just like their son, they were unremarkable people that came from an ordinary background, but rather accepting who they were, they wanted more. Both of them despised losing, and others even more that were gifted that could achieve things that they couldn’t. They craved acknowledgement and valor more than anything that would make them stand out and could be used to exploit their superiority onto others. But they were not deluded from reality, they knew that they didn't have the capabilities to be rewarded anything. So their next big plan was to have a child, by raising a special child that could accomplish their dreams and more, that would ultimately lead them achieving the biggest reward that any parent would want. In their minds, every parent wanted to have a child that was special or had a unique talent to them that could be used for their own benefits and almost as a desired object that most others could only ever dream of having. But their grand scheme was demolished as soon as their son was born which was just like them, unremarkable.

Years later, both parents refused to accept the truth and persistently forced the boy to practice, study, and train until they discovered what he was talented at. This was all the boy knew in his home; his face in books, exercising with various weights, and most noticeable of all was the disappointed faces of his parents who consistently berated him with lectures and complaints about him and all his flaws. This routine became so consistent that the boy became numb to it all and just saw it as part of his everyday life.

The boy always questioned why his parents were so desperate and acted the way they did, but he held no resentment towards them or anyone else. Though that didn’t mean that he wanted to uphold what they wanted or held himself in higher regards either. However, that was until he discovered this autobiography by an author that soon became this boy’s idol.

In the book it talks about how the author came from an ordinary and mundane household who was consistently underestimated and belittled by others due to his status and upbringings, but later became someone that could accomplish so much that most men could only dream of. It went onto further details that through his determination, hard work, and wit he was able to pass and overcome all challenges and diversities that came his way, thus discovering that he had innate talents that excelled in many categories. Then finally, it states that in his final moments he wanted to build an institution for young talents and give them opportunities that he was never given when he was younger. After finishing the book, the boy became infatuated with the author and adopted principles that reflected the author’s values. He soon treated the autobiography as his bible and uses it at times to help remind him of the tales of his hero that he wishes to be…”Izuru Kamukaura”.

With a fire lit in him and motivation driven to be like his idol, the boy sat down and seriously studied and trained in order to be the best. With days, weeks, and months pass by, the boy’s effort was unwavering and continued onward without stopping. His parents took notice of his change and their demeanor lightened after taking credit for their son’s sudden growth and change in attitude.

After his nonstop assault with his hard work, he finally saw results and was placed first in every academic category in his grade. Once he saw that, he felt completely different and was overwhelmed with joy after all his hard work paid off, but those feelings were nothing compared to the ones he felt once his parents found out about his results.

Despite knowing them his entire life and seeing them everyday, on that day the boy saw his parents as complete strangers to him once they knew of his achievements. Their mannerism and demeanor changed, and they showered him with praise and love for the first time in that boy’s life. The feeling was unreal to him, it was a warmth inside the boy’s chest that he never felt before in his whole life. As he continued watching his parents continue to embrace him with big bright smiles on their faces, the boy cried tears of joy and let it run down his face like a waterfall. That marked the moment when the boy knew that he wanted to preserve this feeling and maintain his parent’s affections.

As time moved forward and the boy continued his pace, his results remained in the top with no change in its order. Soon not only his parents, but teachers, relatives, and even other parents started showering the boy with praise like, “You’re amazing”, “Other kids should be like you”, “I wish my kid was like you”, and “You’re a role model”. But the praises that the boy would hear often and would stick by him the longest were “You’re so talented” and “You’re such a genius”. Those words struck the boy’s mind and filled him with such pride and confidence since those were the exact same lines used by others to describe his hero. Also the boy’s parents would often brag about their child towards everyone and explained that the boy’s exploits were only possible due to their superior parenting methods. Obviously, arrogant bragging like this would cause strain with other parents and relatives, but they had no room to interject since what they said wasn't entirely wrong. The boy had mixed feelings about what his parents were doing, but in the end he was still happy to see them so energetic and loving towards him.

Though his effort won him the affection of the adults, most of his young peers felt differently. It is because he tries so hard for results and the adults would often compare him to them, other children would feel irritated by his presence alone and start alienating him, even small acts of bullying would occur. But despite all that it didn’t affect the boy that much because he still had some friends left to play with, and his parents explained that those children were acting out due to how jealous they were since they weren’t “talented” or “special” like he was. The boy took all those words he received to heart and used them to help elevate his efforts in achieving his goal of becoming the next “Izuru Kamukura”.

But that wasn't meant to be as the phrase “all good things must come to an end”, rang in the boy’s head once he entered middle school. As soon as the boy set foot in that new school, all his previous achievements and efforts were meaningless once the boy met with real “geniuses” and “talent”, the true elites. His grades and performance kept on falling and falling until he was placed in remedial classes to help him from flunking all his subjects. Just as the boy’s performance dropped, so did everyone’s expectations of him as well. From stares of admiration to glares of disappointment, more and more people started mocking the boy for his wasted effort and even more so towards the parents after years of them bragging of how superior they were for raising such a “talented” son. Once the mockery occurred, the boy’s parents reverted immediately back to the state when the boy was small and younger; cold, disappointed, and full of dismissive complaints. Shocked by the setback, the boy refused to give up and sacrificed any means to get back what he lost. The boy discarded his remaining friends, destroyed his social life, and got rid of any meaningless free-time, all in order to use those remaining times to better himself. Alas nothing changed, the boy’s effort was wasted and not a thing has improved.

Now the boy is back where he started...no, he was in a much worse state than he was before. It’s true that his parents and everyone else around are back to thinking very little of him, but now he was completely alone and he even thinks very little of himself now. After experiencing that warmth from his parents and others, and following the footsteps of someone he admired, the boy can’t help but to feel empty and hatred for himself for not being special or talented. He would start questioning his own worth and see very little value in his own existence. There were times when the boy even thought of ending it all, but he would stop every time when he got these sudden flashes of “Izuru Kamukura” and thought about all the hardships he went through before he could achieve anything. He thanked “Izuru” every time for saving him from himself and giving him the strength to keep it together, but there was this other thought in the back of his mind if it was really right to compare himself to someone like “Izuru Kamukura”. Though he did have to overcome many difficulties, in the end he was actually talented, whereas the boy was not and was just ordinary.

A few years have passed and the boy is now of high school age, he was just another face in the background that had no one by his side. Though the boy didn’t stand out or got in anyone’s way, disdain and mockery still lingered towards him as his old peers still retells the stories about him and his past. With not much to do, all the boy did was get through it all and head straight home. At the end of the day, to no surprise there was no one there, the boy just bolted to his room and got started with his homework. His mind constantly wandered off and dreaded memories of his past, thinking up scenarios of his life where he stood out as “talented” and how content he would be with his life.

One day when the boy was reliving his past, he stumbled upon an online ad that advertised recruitment tryouts for a spinoff show of the infamous series “Total Drama” called “Total Dangan Island”. At first the boy wasn’t interested in the show or the prize since he knew of the show’s predecessor and its dangerous reputation, but there was something that caught the boy’s interest. In the ad it stated that only the top 16 most talented and capable youths of the World would be selected to participate in the contest. At that moment the boy had a sudden flash of realization, if he were to enter and win then everyone in the World, and especially to himself, would have to acknowledge that he truly is talented and special enough in order to beat the best of the best.

Once he finished recording and sending his tape audition, he went on and explained his plan to his parents. Despite the resolve he had for entering the show before, in his mind he was still scared since this show’s predecessor is known to be life threatening and is willing to endanger its participants for ratings by any means. So a part of him was hoping his parents would stop him or warn him that it was too dangerous to go out of concern for him. However they were ecstatic and were ready to pack all his things up, even though he was yet to be even nominated. The chances of him being accepted was between nonexistent to miniscule, the boy begged all his might to be let in.

After months passed by, the boy noticed a strange black and white envelope in his mailbox and tore it open. Upon reading the letter, the boy jumped in celebration as it was a congratulation letter from the show for being a following contestant. After telling the news, the boy’s parents quickly got his things together and was at the door ready to send him off. The boy was overwhelmed with various emotions clashing with one another; from joy, excitement, nervousness, terror, etc., and right before he took another step forward out the door his parents stopped him to say some final words. In the boy’s mind he was hoping to hear the words “We’re so proud of you”, “We love you so much”, or even a “Stay safe”, but all he got was “Make sure you win and get the prize.” After hearing those words, the boy’s emotions calmed down and silently nodded back at his parents in response. The boy then turned forward and walked away, at that point the boy was determined to win at any cost so he could finally put to rest all his fears and doubts and prove to everyone, especially himself, that he is worth at least something.

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Bio/Extra Info: (Read Previous Bio) Early on in the competition during one of the first Challenges, Hajime and the rest of his team lost one of its members. They all agreed to scatter to go look for her, but there was no luck. It became hopeless until Hajime finally spotted her in the deepest parts of the island. As he went after and finally caught up to her, he noticed that they were at a strange location that was like a gravesite for dangerous and decaying machinery.

It was the Dump Pit, a junkyard area where all Monokuma's prototypes and rejected ideas were all discarded to rot away (obviously this was all done without Monomi's knowing). As he was about to reach out to her, the ledge that they both stood on crumbled. Once they fell and got closer to the site, they landed on this strangely-colored puddle that was leaking from something that looked like a large battery, some in particular landed on Hajime’s eye, and they were covered by this terrible chemical smell that almost seemed like it devoured any clean air surrounding the area. In a panic, both team members quickly got out of the site and escaped from the forest together without any visible harm done to them. After thoroughly inspecting themselves they found nothing that was wrong, at first.

After a course of a few weeks, Hajime’s eye continuously got worse as it became more bloodshot red and throbbing profusely, in which he could receive massive headaches that would cause him to collapse onto the ground. In that state, all his fears and doubts would loop in his head constantly, then during that he would hear a faint voice telling him something. He could never make out what the voice said and at times when he was about to decipher it, the headaches would stop and so would the voice alongside it.

Then one morning when he woke up, he noticed that all the pain was gone though was surprised when he got to a mirror to check his eye. He saw that the pupil of his left eye had completely turned red, upon the mirror he saw a figure standing behind him in the mirror. In a scared panic, he quickly turned around and asked who the stranger was, but as the stranger answered Hajime instantly recognized the voice as the same one in his head from his headaches. The stranger answered that he was Izuru Kamukura, but Hajime had a hard time believing that since Izuru was long dead and that he looked nothing like him. In fact the stranger actually resembled Hajime who dressed up ruggedly as Izuru Kamukura.

Hajime cautiously reached out to this Izuru, but he phased through him and immediately jumped back away from him. When Hajime asked what he was, Izuru took a pause and thought deeply about that question. After a couple seconds, after analyzing all the clues and data from Hajime’s memories, he concluded that he was a separate persona that was conjured by his psyche. As Hajime was dumbstruck to the possibility, Izuru continued theorizing that after being exposed to all that chemical waste has created this strainful chemical imbalance in his brain. The area that was mostly affected was amygdala, which controls fear and anxieties, thus causing all those serious headaches he had up until now.

In order to answer and compensate for all his doubts and anxiety, his psyche has created a whole new personality that embodied all his desires and wishes, thus creating this Izuru Kamukura that stood in front of him. After the explanation, Hajime was taken aback and shocked by what he heard. After that’s been done and over, now all that’s left is for Hajime to decide what he’s going to do with his whole new roommate in his head.

(Hajime’s) Goal: (Read Previous Goal) Same as before.

(Izuru’s) Goal: He is indifferent, he doesn’t care about the game, prize, or anything of that matter. He only acts or takes control over the body only when Hajime requests his help or allows it. Izuru could process images in an instant, has access to 100 percent of his brain, and was in complete control of every single strand of tissue that composed his body. Until Hajime calls for him, he’ll just stand on the side and watch him go through huddles and other challenges. Since Izuru views himself as a perfect being that could do no wrong, which makes his existence boring and meaningless, he finds watching others struggle to achieve their goals, despite their flaws and imperfections, a bit intriguing and entertaining.

#tdi #total drama #total drama island #danganronpa #danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa 2 #dr2 goodbye despair #DR #fanart #au #izuru #izuru kamukura #kamukura project #hajime hinata #hajime #hinata

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souljoon · 3 years

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hey i love your writing its amazing!! would you mind writing smth i thought abt while i was showering lolll. what if the reader was singing in the shower and corpse had no idea she could sing and when she comes out he likes is so in awe of it and he asks her to sing for him. it could end however you would like lol. (maybe corpse could ask the reader to sing on a song for him) idk do with this what you will sorry for making this so long and detailed lol

thank you for your lovely request! :) i hope you like this one, anon. sorry for the delay btw. i work full time and only have the time to write down stuff at night in bed lol 😅

pairing: bf!corpse x reader genre: fluff warning/s: cursing

~~~

Corpse was currently streaming. And for a while, you stayed there watching him while you sat comfortably on his lap before deciding to leave alone in peace. Admittedly, you’re a great form of distraction during his streams. But he loves having you around, loves making you impressed with his skills, loves listening to your laugh every now and then.

The room was semi-dark, so when he heard a phone rang just as its screen lit up, he right away located where the source—your phone was.

He was supposed to ignore the call since he was in the middle of the game. However, on the third ring, he was forced to retrieve your phone, and bring it to you in case the purpose of the call is important.

He went straight to the bedroom he shares with you, only to find the bed empty. Lights on, bathroom door closed. His forehead crumples at the sound coming from there muffled by the shut door.

He twists the door, poking his head inside. Instinctively, he pressed the red button on your screen, quickly getting rid of the noise. And as quick as he let himself in, his eyes went round.

Holy fuck!

Your back is on him, your palms gliding on your arms, your chest—all over as the running water washes all traces of soap off of you.

Is that your voice he’s actually listening to right now?

Despite the unfamiliarity to your song choice, he couldn’t help but be left amazed. Heavens, he needs to listen to more of you like this—Corpse’s mouth parted, jaw hanging low as his eyes gleam in pure fascination.

His stomach is fluttering, and he could literally just feel the pulls of his heartstrings with his ears drowning from your achingly sweet voice. A stark contrast to his own, yet he realized right there and then he wouldn’t tire of listening to you sing all day, everyday for the rest of his life.

He has a distinct music taste. He doesn’t particularly like mainstream music but that doesn’t mean he can’t appreciate good vocals when he hears one. Especially one coming from his girlfriend.

It’s no secret that you and him share the same love for music despite having different music preferences. But unlike him, you’ve always been clear about your interest in music as a consumer rather than making one so he assumed that you don’t sing, or even consider that you have beautiful vocals. Nonetheless, it wouldn’t matter to him. No flaw of yours could possibly change the fact that he loves you.

You, there inside the shower cubicle, seemed like a singing angel sent from above—a feisty one.

The more he listens to your voice bouncing in the enclosed area with the rhythmic sound of the streaming water as it collides against the tiled floor—a heavenly match, must he add, the harder it is for him to leave you there.

He didn’t want to pass up the chance to listen to more of this discovery but he also wouldn’t intentionally want to make you uncomfortable by the thought of you being watched without your knowledge. The realization prompted him to leave the bathroom, at last, only to stand there before the door.

So when you finally opened the door, you jumped lightly at the sight of him there as if he was particularly waiting for you.

“How long have you been standing there?” You asked, confused and even more puzzled when you caught the glimmer in his eyes.

“Long enough. You have some explaining to do, you little minx.” He spoke. If only he wasn’t visibly starstruck for a reason you were not aware of, you would’ve taken him seriously.

You frown, “What— do you mean? What d-did I do?”

Corpse pulled you closer by your arm, until you were literally flushed against him. He breathes heavily in on your neck.

“Babe-”

“I didn’t know you could sing,” he suddenly mentions.

“Oh! Yeah. Were you listening to me in the shower?” You laugh, nervously. “It’s not that of a big deal, babe.”

“It is, for me. Considering you have such a beautiful voice.” His nose travels upward, hovering just below the shell of your ear. “So perfect. I think I’ve fallen in love with it— if that’s even possible. Can you sing for me, baby?”

You stepped back, blood rushing quickly on your cheeks by his overwhelming compliment. “You’re being too kind just because I’m your girlfriend. I’m not even that good,”

It’s not that you hid your talent from him. There’s just no right opportunity to say that to him without actually getting embarrassed.

He chuckled, deeply. “Oh baby, I can die happily just by merely listening to your voice.”

Your face profusely reddens, not believing you’re actually hearing this from him—except that his expression solidifies his words. You’ve never seen him this mesmerized, heart eyes emoji personified.

He cups your face, forcing you to see his awe-filled eyes. “Come on, don’t be shy now,”

“Fine. But only if you let me play on your computer for a day.”

The expression on his face slowly vanishes. “You can sit on my lap while I stream?” Corpse tries, but you were already stepping out of his grasp to the closet.

Corpse pouts, crossing his arms over his chest as he follows toward your little trail like a lost puppy, determined to have his wish granted.

~~~

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse fanfic #corpse imagines #corpse fic #fic request

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