#it's fine bc yennefer gets some of the love she deserves this way :)

[wordsablaze]

Ch.10. Bemusing Blue

Blue Buttercup Almost like buttercups, it took Jaskier a lot of time and trouble to bloom and find his place in the world, but it wasn’t all so golden… (aka: yennefer was his mother way before he was jaskier)

A/N: i’m once again back with chaotic fluff but hey, there’s plot if you squint ?? @dauntless-hufflepuff-pride @mayastormborn

previous chapter

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She doesn’t remember dozing off but her eyes snap open to the sound of a whimper.

“Julian?” she asks automatically, her arms tightening around him as she wakes up properly, ready to curse anyone who’s hurt him into oblivion. When he doesn’t reply, she glances down to find him shaking, his eyes squeezed shut and sweat glistening on his skin like little drops of rain.

“Julian?” she asks again, gently nudging him.

(She doesn’t know what to do other than be gentle.)

He only whimpers again in response and the small noise goes straight through the heart she didn’t know could still be so affected by such things. Sighing and praying that she’s not making a mistake, she uses her chaos to wake him up as carefully as possible.

“Yenny!” he sobs as he jerks awake, his eyes filling with tears.

(Her eyes are tempted to do the same.)

“Shh, little one, it’s okay. I’m right here, we’re okay,” she finds herself whispering as he melts into her touch, sniffling as he tries to stay quiet. She can’t understand why he’s trying so hard not to cry when all the children she’s seen in the past relish any opportunity to do so but she knows now is not the time to ask him about it.

“Stay with you,” he whispers back, his fingers curling into fists around the fabric of her dress.

(For once, she couldn’t care less about the creases.)

“Stay with me,” she agrees easily, slowly running her fingers through his hair as his breathing slows and he drifts off again.

It’s still dark outside so he lets herself relax once more, not quite willing to go back to sleep but also not willing to get up and leave Julian alone with his nightmares. In a strange, fleeting moment of disbelief, she wonders what Tissaia would say if she saw her now.

(She doesn’t care what anyone would say anyway.)

Yennefer stays exactly where she is until dawn breaks, at which point Julian stirs once again. He’d shifted in the last few hours to practically be sitting in her lap, his arms around her middle and his head resting just under her neck, so when he yawns and looks up at her, she can’t help but smile. “Good morning, Julian,” she murmurs, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

“The sun’s awake,” he mumbles through another yawn.

She chuckles. “Yes, it is. Do you usually wake up with the sun?”

“Sometimes we have to be awake for the moon too,” he replies, sounding as if he thinks she’s silly for even asking such an obvious question.

(His smile is the only thing worth being seen as silly.)

Yennefer hums, waiting until he uncurls himself from around her before standing up herself, stretching her arms and rolling the stiffness out of her shoulders and elbows. It’s only when she finishes stretching that she sees Julian copying her movements with a sheepish grin.

“Are you hungry?” she asks instead of addressing the way she wants to grin back.

He jumps upright, opening his mouth to reply but getting distracted as he wobbles and falls over, giggling as he bounces on the mattress.

Biting her tongue so she doesn’t interrupt his glee by laughing, Yennefer merely watches as he amuses himself by jumping up only to fall over and bounce onto his back, making a mental note to try her best not to kill the Lord who’d provided something that makes Julian so happy. She feels a bit like a fool as she waits for this child to finish playing, leaning against the wall with her arms folded, but since there’s nobody around to see it, she figures she can give him this opportunity uninterrupted.

(And give herself this opportunity uninterrupted.)

“Yenny, does this bedroom have jam?” Julian asks after a while, breathing heavily from the effort of literally jumping around.

“Bedrooms don’t have jam, Julian,” she replies, wiping the sweat off his forehead with her sleeve - an idea that would once have been unfathomable to her.

Julian frowns. “But you said bedrooms are where you keep you keep your favourite things!”

Yennefer nods as he climbs into her arms, locking his legs around her waist as she places an arm under him to steady them both. “They are. But food goes in the kitchen.”

“The kitchen,” he echoes, nodding. “Did you bring your kitchen?”

(She doesn’t know if she wants to laugh or cry.)

“No, little one, but this house has its own kitchen. We can go and ask if they have jam,” she tells him, missing out the part where she’ll figure out a way to acquire some herself if they don’t.

“And bread?” Julian asks, his head dropping to rest on her shoulder.

“And bread,” she confirms, biting her tongue again so she doesn’t offend him by accidentally laughing.

He nods and just as she starts moving, asks, “Do you think the sun likes jam?”

Yennefer pauses, using one hand to lean against the wall as she ruins her plan not to laugh, unable to stop it this time but unwilling to risk dropping Julian no matter what. Once she’s recovered and he’s looking up at her with furrowed brows, she nods at him. “I don’t see why not.”

(She does but indulging him is far better than explaining why.)

She knows she’s made the right choice when he nods happily, wrapping his arms around her neck and fiddling with her hair. There’s a part of her that doesn’t want to leave their room like this but she figures it’s too early for most people to be awake and she’s powerful enough to convince any servants that see her not to say anything unless they want to lose their tongues.

And so they make their way down to the kitchens where they do in fact have enough jam for Julian to enjoy two servings of breakfast.

(Stupidly enough, Yennefer just enjoys his enjoyment.)

“Is he okay?” one of the maids asks Yennefer, “He looks a little pale.”

Resisting the initial urge to punch the other woman for potentially insulting him, Yennefer just nods. “He didn’t sleep too well.”

“Nobody sleeps well here,” the woman sighs.

“What?” Yennefer asks, now more curious than anything.

The maid looks a little guilty but shares a glance with her friend before nodding solemnly. “None of us have slept well for the last few years.”

It can’t be coincidence that Marcio’s mage friend had died just as their nights had become uncomfortable, it just can’t. “I’ll look into it,” Yennefer promises.

The woman smiles at her gratefully. “Thank you. We’ll find some more jam for your son by luncheon.”

The words don’t even register at first but by the time she realises she should correct that assumption, the maid has already disappeared somewhere and she’s left frowning at thin air.

(She’s almost glad she hadn’t had to explain what exactly he is to her.)

“Aren’t you hungry, Yenny?”

She blinks, pulling herself back into the moment as Julian holds up a piece of bread to her. She’s not really that hungry but she can’t exactly refuse, can she?

“Thank you,” Yennefer says sincerely as she bites into the bread, almost surprised to find jam on it; the very idea of him so easily sharing something he loves with her comes as a surprise.

He beams at her, one of his hands sliding into hers when he finishes his own food. As the jam on his fingers makes both their hands sticky and he freezes, offering her a guilty smile that’s immediately followed by a delighted giggle when she magically cleans their hands, she absently wonders if this is what actually having her own son would be like.

(Too bad she’ll never get to find out.)

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i'm sorry but soft parent yen is my jam (ha, get it?) so i'm self-indulgently milking it, hope that’s alright <3

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#yennefer of vengerberg #fluff #the witcher #fanfic #soft yennefer #parent yennefer #young jaskier #protective yennefer #hurt jaskier #domestic fluff #canon who? #jaskier #my writing #bbu #i don't even control this julian anymore #he's just out here being smol and soft #it's fine bc yennefer gets some of the love she deserves this way :)