#it’s the anxiety 🫡

[naughtydogg]

🐰 barely intimidating

the correct answer 🥺 i am just vibing 🫶🏻

#me? scary??? #i’m scarED lmao #it’s the anxiety 🫡 #jcusack

[red-flagging]

💛 seb/lewis :-)

(kiss fic prompts!)

a little epilogue to rabbits are chasing :)

Lewis's flight lands at 8:02PM, which means that by 7:31PM, Seb is parked outside the airport arrivals door, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel and scanning the sky for approaching planes.

It's quite silly, getting here so early, but it's not as if there's much left to do at home. There's roast vegetables waiting in the oven, the cauliflower steaks that he started marinating earlier this morning chilling in the fridge. Mina and Ellie are safely ensconced in their duck coop with the heater turned on for the night. The sheets on the guest bed are freshly washed.

The car parked behind him starts up. Its headlights illuminate Seb's cabin. For a moment, he catches a glimpse of himself, harried and too-bright, in the rearview mirror. He scrubs his hands down his face. Christ. Get it together, Sebastian. He is a full 39 years old. Far too old to be getting the same jitters that he did the first time he invited a girl over at age 17, agonizing about what album to have playing when they came back to his room. Lewis is far too old for Seb to be doing all this. Lewis might not even be gay.

His phone buzzes. Seb nearly jumps out of his seat.

Lewis

just landed

getting my luggage now

hows it so freaking cold here

The inside of the car is already fogging up. When he'd asked Lewis to send dates he could come visit and Lewis had said just so you know the next few months are kind of crazy for me, Seb had expected late fall, maybe the holidays. Not the middle of slush season, when all the roads up the mountain have a 50/50 chance of being so muddy that they're undriveable.

Sebastian

I'm outside, in the blue Infiniti :)

He glances back up at himself in the mirror. The scab from where a wood chip caught the corner of his eyebrow while he was sanding the new planter box is almost healed over. His hair looks as good as it's ever going to. If Lewis asks whether he's been using conditioner, he's fucked.

It shouldn't feel like this. Seb beat Lewis to Senna's record, and Lewis still laughed at all his jokes the next season. Lewis watched Seb DNF twice in five races and still said in the media pen that he was waiting for the day Seb would be back up on the podium with him. When they inevitably auction off Lewis's Le Mans racesuit, it'll have to be with Seb's snot all over the front of it, because Lewis let Seb sob all over him and then laughed as he wiped sweat off of Seb's cheek with the sleeve. After all that – the fact that he's about to be in Seb's house for the next week shouldn't make Seb feel like he's standing in front of Lewis naked, without even the promise of a fast car or a good competition to distract Lewis from looking right at him.

His phone buzzes again.

Lewis

outside i think

Seb peers through the windscreen. Lewis – or rather, the blurry figure lugging a giant suitcase behind him that he assumes is Lewis – waves at him from the sidewalk. Seb flashes his lights at him twice.

The back door opens and Lewis's head, along with a burst of cold night air, pops in. "Hey," he says, a little breathlessly. "I don't think this is going to fit in the back."

It does, eventually, but not without a fight that involves Seb having to climb into the trunk alongside Lewis's suitcase and physically wrestle it into place while Lewis shoves from behind. They're both out of breath by the time they finally climb back in the front and slam the doors shut.

"You know, there are beds at the farm," Seb points out. "You didn't have to pack your own."

Lewis shakes his head, tugging off his gloves. His coat collar is turned up around his neck. He's wearing an an ear warmer headband, held in place by two butterfly pins. Every other bit of uncovered skin is pink, even with the heat in the car up at full blast. Lewis shoves his fingers in front of the vents and sighs with relief, closing his eyes. "Ugh, thank God," he says. He sounds exhausted. "Listen, you're lucky I fit everything into one." It sounds far less like a joke than Seb would hope. The fact that the fondness in Seb's chest still manages to outweigh the exasperation is probably a sign that Seb's beyond salvation.

"Next time I'll bring a trailer so you can fit your bathtub and toilet, too," he says, reaching for the keys. The engine purrs to life as he flicks the lights back on, then leans forward to scrub the worst of the fog off the windscreen. The thermometer on the dash says it's still 3 degrees outside. They might still be able to make it back before the slush freezes over. "Okay," he says, sitting back down and twisting around to reach for his seatbelt. "Ready to go?"

Lewis doesn't say anything. When Seb looks over, he's staring out the front window, playing with one of his rings.

"Lewis?" Seb asks.

Lewis's head jerks around. "Hm?" he says. "Oh. Yeah." He doesn't move to put on his seatbelt.

Seb frowns. Kills the engine so he can properly turn in his seat. "Lewis," he says. "Is everything –"

Lewis leans across the console and kisses him.

It's barely half a second. Seb still hasn't moved by the time Lewis sits back down on his side of the car.

"Uh," Lewis says, after a second. He clears his throat. "Sorry. I just – Shit. Sorry. The whole way over, all I could think about was – I had to get it over with before I chickened out."

He's fiddling with his rings again, but his eyes stay fixed on Seb's. His jaw is set. He still looks half-ready to bolt through the door behind him, out into the night.

"Well, you don't have to make it sound like taking your medicine, Christ," Seb says hoarsely, and drags Lewis back across the console to kiss him properly.

Lewis's lips are still cold. When Seb opens his mouth, Lewis sighs, pressing in closer with a soft sound that makes Seb want to go twenty years back in time and kick himself for not figuring out how to make Lewis make that noise sooner. His hands settle on Seb's wrists, holding him in place. Seb slides his own hands up, cradling the back of Lewis's head, to return the favor.

When he finally pulls away just far enough to catch his breath, Lewis follows him, close enough that their noses bump. His eyes are wide. This close up, Seb can see the dark circles under them more clearly.

He closes his eyes. Lewis is still there when he opens them.

"How long have you been awake?" he asks.

Lewis blinks. "What," he says. "Are you talking about."

"Sleep deprivation," Seb says. His heart is pounding hard enough that he feels it in his throat. "People start to get delirious when they're tired enough –"

"I was awake for 24 hours and I didn't kiss you at the end," Lewis interrupts, his eyes sharp and bright. "I'm not making the same mistake twice."

Seb opens his mouth and nothing comes out. He tries again. Still nothing.

"Fuck," he says, closing his eyes. "Okay. Okay." He drags himself back upright and reaches for the keys. "We can – tomorrow. But we should – you need to shower. And sleep." Lewis's hand settles on his leg. Seb rests his own on top of it; after a second, he squeezes Lewis's fingers gently. Lewis flips his hand over and laces their fingers together.

"Yeah," Lewis says. His thumb traces over Seb's knuckles. "That – tomorrow sounds good."

The slush crackles under the tires when Seb starts to move. Ahead of them, the headlights carve a path through the darkness. Lewis's hand is a solid, steady weight against his leg. "Okay," Seb says, to himself, to both of them, to no one. Lewis hums softly from his side of the car. He squeezes Seb's knee gently.

Seb closes his eyes for a second. "Okay," he says quietly. "Yeah. Let's go home."

#my fic #collarboen #rpf #sorry to possibly?? retcon the fade to black kiss at the end of rabbits are chasing and be like PSYCH it took 9 months after that...but in #my heart this has always* been the truth #*i came up with it ten minutes into brainstorming this prompt but now i'm attached to it and have accepted it into my heart and home #the post-retirement post-gay awakening post-journey of self acceptance slow burn slash anxiety spiral #that happened over the 9 month interlude on lewis's end is left as a thought experiment for the reader :) #thank u for giving me an excuse to write this autumn :) #i am slowly making my way through the rest of these lol ty to everyone who has sent them in they've been so fun!! #you are welcome to send in more but just be warned that the next batch will probably take. much longer lol. but i will keep doing my best 🫡

[crossbackpoke-check]

it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu #HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand #in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred #because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it #including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines. #like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like #‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted #and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.) #i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on #this one but the full quote was too long: #all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless #so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one #and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o. #liv in the replies #shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs. #if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡 #the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is. #far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze #laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…) #also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy

[heckmate]

So apparently Knock-Knock had (has??) a mini DLC only available on kickstarter 😭 it is/was called machine 47 (I’m 99% sure that it was what was included in that mysterious $47 tier) and the only information I can find on the DLC is on a single Reddit post and this deviantart drawing

Both the Reddit post and the deviant art post described it as a wish machine of some kind… I wish I had more information as to what else it did :c

lol if only I could teleport back to 2012 and not have been like… 13 so I could back the kickstarter and have access to the dlc ;_;

#knock knock game #I reached out to the person on Reddit to see if they know any more about it and I’ll reach out to the person on DA later #I just need to remember my deviant art login. and also muster up the bravery #the need to know about knock knock overpowers all the social anxiety in the world 🫡

[thespaceyace]

wip I started during my ten hour flight yesterday 🤡

#ace attorney #the great ace attorney #thespaceyace #ace attorney art #tgaa #dgs #ryunosuke naruhodo #herlock sholmes #iris wilson #susato mikotoba #HGGNNN THE BABIES #also wagahai #I have major airplane anxiety so I’m weirdly proud I got this much done 🫡

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

my stepdad's a real one fr...

#i mentioned that my mom called #and he left the room. came back. and put an edible in front of me #1) that was fucking Hilarious #2) thaaaaaaank GOD i need it #he was all like 'take that an hour before you go to bed #yes Sir 🫡 gladly sir 🫡 #i would've liked one with a bit more of a Kick to it but i am nooooot complaining!!! #*insert looping gif of the cat jumping up & down w/ added yippee sound effects* #absolutely unprompted #tonight i will finish the next comm. indulge in some laughingstock perhaps. and then get Stress Free via Tasty Nibble #oh i can't wait for it to kick in... #ive been so stressed for so long... whats it like to live without chest pain & nausea from Intense Anxiety.... i will soon know! #i think i will take the inner peace opportunity to actually eat something #bc when im this stressed i Cant. i simply cannot! #which is so unfortunate because food & eating is one of my favorite things! i love it so much! #and im being Deprived of it!!!!

[feelslikegold]

on tonight’s episode of jake saying Things

#a hedonist 😭 jacob…..😭😭😭😭 #them ❤️ #jake kiszka #danny wagner #🧚🏻‍♀️ #can u tell I am avoiding going to bed bc my anxiety is worse at night 🫡

[gaydexvocaloid]

☕️ here I made you some coffee :)

omg thank u 🥺🥺🥺 i love coffee but it is my poison bc i have gerd,,,,, ,,

#asks #thank u tho… #my gerd is mainly stress/anxiety induced but uh #specifically coffee and chocolate fuck me up #coffee flavoured chocolate is my forbidden romance #i indulge and then i die #this cup of coffee shall be my last….. 🫡 ☕️

[rtnortherly]

Thanks for the tag @divinityiswasted

Top Three Ships: Kyoko and Ren from Skip Beat bc it’s a manga I read back in high school and I love it and I love them and how they get to know each other and respect each other. Qing Ming and Yuan Boya from The Yin Yang Master (2021). Listen. It was a fun movie and they were cute and extra and perfect and I will die on this hill. KyoshixHyugaxRiko from Kuroko no Basuke bc my sister and I watched that recently and they would be the perfect power throuple and actually in my head they’re already married.

First Ship: Will and Elizabeth from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Last Song: The Bat’s True Calling Michael Giacchino

Last Film: Oh no. Ugh, I think it was The Grinch Who Stole Christmas? We watch tv shows more often. We’re in the middle of watching the Uncanny Counter s2, and recently dropped Suits.

Currently Reading: Been reading the web comic Electric Bones bit by bit. If I’m reading a book it has to be binge read or not at all, so episodes of chapters of webcomic work better for a balanced day.

Current craving: M&M chocolate bar. Specifically the peanut M&M ones.

Again, thanks for the summon! No pressure to the folks I’m tagging 😅 : @furious-jorg @sabin1108 @awonderfulaverage

#🫡 #RT things #👉👈 #my social anxiety be buzzing #this was fun though! #im so bad at ranking things that the first one took six hundred and a half years to come up with lol

[firebuug]

the stupid thing about anxiety that leans into straight up paranoia territory is that you can be weirdly paranoid and expectant of something terrible, worst case scenario ever to happen like, all the time, but since it's never happened to you you know it's unreasonable. but the moment one of the things you're crazy about actually happens, all those other extremely way more unreasonable things suddenly become plausible in your head by association, so now you're just on guard ALL the time. it's like throwing your anxiety a bone and because it was good that time and did a good job of preparing you for it now it's like ok! I will do this for everything else too and i will do a good job. but really it just needs to be put down

#in my case its like. i was highly paranoid of car incidents happening. but i was able to like. nap in a car comfortably cuz it never hapened #but i was ALSO unreasonably so paranoid about likr. inexplicably suddenly just getting a bullet to the skull. like out of nowhere anytime #so now that a terrifying car incident HAS happened to me now im like okay #im super high guard about that now and can barely close an eye in a vehicle without shaking. but. now that thats plausible. #whats saying im not gonna be sniped any moment any time while in public . who says. #i as a perosn know its exteemely unreasonable and sily especially considering where i live. but now that my anxiety has been fed #it's basically all gone downhill into insanity #anyways i need therapy but i dont have time energy or transportation. SLAYYYY!!!!!!!❗❗❗❗🫡 #txt #to detract this from myself therefore cancelling out any vulnerability on main: if i give an oc anxiety please know #it is this level of crawling up walls 'my head is going to blow off in five seconds and you need to shield me' bullshit and not 'oh no ppl.

[notallroses]

In the soft, peaceful, and loving era of my life.

#but with the anxiety 🫡

[meowshmelo]

Got full marks on my presentation from my physics professor ^_^ 🫶

#my social anxiety cooked me alive but I persevered 🫡

[httpiastri]

the big boss came up to me and said "jacqueline can you come with me for a moment?", proceeded to walk with me in complete silence to the conference room furthest down the hall (walking past everyone in the entire office basically) while i was already so nervous that i was crying on the inside....... and then he just went "we're very happy with you and would like for you to come in more often 😄"

like sir did you really have to scare the crap out of me for that ??

#it was also funny bcs ive already been working every day pretty much #except for the one day per week i have classes #but i love it and im thankful #okay 'love' is an overstatement considering how my anxiety levels are 📈 whenever i even think about work #the actual work part is okay but the socialization and stuff 😶 #a n y w a y #jack is discovering adult life 🫡

[lordcoolington]

everyday i fight so hard to not ghost the people i love for 3 whole years 🫡 shoutout to me for fighting the battles you don’t see. i am stronger than any us army soldier

#personal #this is kinda satirical but genuinely i don’t know why but my social anxiety gets so bad sometimes 😭😭😭 #i’ve been getting better though. way better than years ago at least bahajaja #been trying to force myself to be brave. overall i’m just so lucky to have the friends i have #they’re all really patient and understanding with me and i love them so much #i kinda hope they never see this but. 2 my friends i love u so much u mean the whole entire world to me #anyways shoutout to my fellow avoidant attachment style bitches. i’d give y’all some love but if i did that y’all would leave 🫡 #thats mostly a joke. im getting into therapy soon #i hope #OH also to my fellow avoidant attachment style bitches. it helps to send memes. they’re a real low commitment way of interacting/showing ur #thinking of ur loved ones

[dittobtch]

Get to know: dittobtch (rel)

Thanks for the tag @gay-art-vibes

Most recent song listened to: sinner by the last dinner party

Favorite colour: green, dark green specifically

Currently watching: the wilds (rewatch, now on s2), santa clarita diet, derry girls (rewatch)

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: savoury

Relationship: single

Current obsession: leatin; fandom stats/culture/history

Last thing you googled: uk tax dates (i don't know why. i have never worked in nor been to the uk)

Currently Reading Anything? just fanfic tbh, this leatin one specifically (highly recommend, even though i am reading it painfully slowly but that's a me issue)

People you’d like to know more about: @quitensmile @amanitabuntline @g-enyas (no pressure at all, i'm just always curious about mutuals especially when they come from the wilds)

(also, thank you @not-just-a-mess for doing this when i was too scared to tag anyone yesterday)

#i did this tag yesterday but idc i'll do anything for the remaining leatin fans🫡 #i changed my answers somewhat to keep it interesting #also i actually tagged people this time so #fuck you anxiety #btch talk

[oneiricazalea]

I’ve decided that I’m going to put a little more energy into socializing, bit by bit— Words don’t really come easy to me the way they used to, and the speed of instant messaging is kind of intimidating, but I do want to try a little more where possible to chat and like, initiate, rather than only thinking about doing either and instantly shutting down, the way I’ve been doing these past handful of years 🤔

#personal #basically sorry ahead of time!! to everyone I may bother soon 🫡 #anxiety is a bitch eugh #but it takes practice to build a social skill like any other thing - right? #also a thank you to everyone who’s been patient with me and being as forgetful as I am too eee #it's more appreciated than you could ever know