#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jawsandbones · 4 years

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NSFW under cut

He can hear the muddy footsteps approaching before the tent flap opens. A distinctive sound of its own, letting in a cold breeze which shudders over the few torches and candles lit. Yuri, his back towards the opening, looks over his shoulder. “You’re late,” he says, his shirt in his arms, his skin covered in gooseflesh, “Where were you?” He turns around completely, leans back against the small table and lets one ankle cross over the other. He is careful not to tip the bowl of water behind him, a damp cloth hanging off the edge of it. Yuri’s skin glistens newly clean.

Byleth’s shoulders heave. His cheeks are flushed, a twinge of sweat on his brow. His long boots are flecked with mud, and he’s wearing those tight trousers which sit high on his waist, a tan colored oversized tunic just barely tucked into them. His pale green hair is disheveled, and he takes another step forward into the tent before pausing. He studies Yuri for a moment, from the curls of purple hair which rest against his collarbone, to his bare chest where water still drops, and the half unbuttoned trousers. Yuri smiles at his examination, and drops the shirt onto the rug beside him. “Your tent is palatial, you know. They really do save the best for the commanders, hmm? I didn’t think you’d mind me borrowing it, but I also thought you’d be here when I got here,” Yuri says.

“I was looking for you,” Byleth says in that low, barely-audible whisper of his. His voice is a landslide, rocks tumbling into a canyon. Yuri feels the back of his neck unexpectedly heat at the sound of it. He watches as Byleth turns on his heel, marching back to the entrance of the tent. He kneels down briefly, tying the knots to keep the flap closed. Then he stands, his head still bowed, his hands clenched in fists at his side. When he turns back around to face Yuri, his face is neutral, his breathing even. Yuri stands up straighter at the sight of Byleth looking at him underneath dark lashes.

“Well, you found me,” he says, smiling some as he crosses his arms, shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “What did you need?” Byleth’s hands slowly unclench from that fist. He moves the same way he does in battle. The hard push forward, the quickly closing distance – dead, before the enemy even knows Byleth is upon them. Not Yuri. He’s just in time to stretch out his arms, catch Byleth in the embrace. The bowl of water wobbles as Byleth crashes into him. Byleth’s hand moves against Yuri’s hip, to his back, captures him completely.

Byleth crushes his lips against Yuri’s. The kiss is harried, hurried, hungry. He smothers Yuri in it, devours him inch by inch. His teeth gently pull at Yuri’s bottom lip, and having created an opening, Byleth’s tongue presses into Yuri’s mouth. His other hand now winds in Yuri’s hair, grabbing a fistful, and pulling his head back. Yuri clings to him, his body curling against his, as Byleth’s teeth scrape against his neck. Hip bumps against hip as Byleth’s hand splays at his back, and Yuri’s fingers dig into Byleth’s shoulder. The moment Yuri actively resists, Byleth lets go of the grip he has on his hair.

Yuri drapes his arms over Byleth’s shoulder, pulls himself in closer as he seals the kiss. There’s a sense of unsettled urgency to Byleth’s every move. His hands cannot settle, moving up and down Yuri’s back, fingertips moving over the hills and valleys of his spine. They find the curve of his ass, tug him closer. Not that he minds, but Byleth usually isn’t this. Byleth’s touches are bold and sure, as if Yuri’s body is a battlefield, the tactics to conquer him already planned and set into motion. This is scattered, wary, and afraid to stay in one place too long, his touch finding false refuge on other curves. Byleth presses himself closer to deepen the kiss, while Yuri is pushing back.

It all amounts to Byleth taking a step back, their feet tangling as they twist, and Byleth quickly uses his hands to hold Yuri’s head as they tumble to the rug on the ground. Byleth is kneeling over him, straddling him, his hands still underneath Yuri’s head. Pale green wisps of hair float away from his forehead, dangle above Yuri’s face. Byleth’s eyes are wide, his breaths coming short and fast, his gaze moving all over Yuri’s face. Yuri puts his hand up against Byleth’s chest and says, “I’m fine.” That calms Byleth somewhat, enough so that Yuri can prop himself up on elbows. Byleth stays over him, his hands now resting against Yuri’s chest.

“I’m fine, but I suspect you’re not. You’re not acting like yourself,” Yuri tells him as he shifts his gaze away, the guilt painfully evident. “You need to tell me what’s going on.” The torches rage and burn above them, their only protection against the cool chill of night. The silence stretches on with only the sound of the fire and the occasional passing patrol to break it.

“We’ll be meeting Dimitri’s forces on the field tomorrow, at Tailtean plains,” Byleth says.

“Yes, I know.”

“Logically, I know that there is nothing different about this battle than any other one than has come before. I was reading in my tent earlier and I – I,” Byleth frowns, stares downwards, and clutches at his own chest, “I realized that I hadn’t seen you for most of today, besides the glimpses of each other. I didn’t want the time we saw each other next to be on the battlefield, fighting. I had a – I had a feeling.” His knuckles are white as he squeezes, his hand trembling with the tightness of it. “I needed to see you.”

“And you managed to set out to find me just as I was on my way to you,” Yuri says as he relaxes backwards, the smile light on his lips. “What unfortunately excellent coincidental timing we have.”

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“Why are you sorry? I’m delighted. I think this is the most I’ve heard you speak in one go.” Moving his weight from his elbows to his hands, Yuri pushes himself to sit up. Leaning against one hand, he brushes the other at Byleth’s cheek, around to the nape of his neck. “I happen to enjoy the sound of your voice,” he says. How easily Byleth’s expression settles into neutral. It’s a rare privilege to see clearly what lies beneath. Today, Yuri is being presented with a feast.

Byleth’s thoughts turn and so his expression changes with it. The smile is some sad echo of a long lost thing, his brows stitching together with something close to worry. He raises his hands to the ends of the twin tails of hair which rest against Yuri’s collarbone. Yuri returns it in kind, curling a strand of Byleth’s hair around his finger, tucking it behind his ear. “You know, the day you showed up at Garreg Mach again, I thought I was dreaming. I had to be. There was no way you were still alive,” Yuri says. “You were one of Mercedes ghost stories come to life.”

“You just… walked up to me, and didn’t say anything. Making me do all the work, as usual. I had to touch you just to make sure my hand didn’t pass right through you. What do you know, you were actually real. You were alive, standing in front of me, as if you had never been knocked off a cliff into a ravine by a rampaging monster. I remember thinking that I gave myself away. That you could hear everything I was thinking just from my tone of voice. I regret telling you that it was because I didn’t remember your face. It was a cruel joke, to keep you from looking too hard beneath the surface,” Yuri says, unraveling all the work he had just done, musing Byleth’s hair.

“I shouldn’t have stayed at Garreg Mach. I should have cut my losses and tried to find some work somewhere else, in a place no one knew me. I opened that notebook of mine every day, and yet I couldn’t write your name. I didn’t know that you were gone. I didn’t want to know. I thought Edelgard was being foolish, acting as if she expected you to walk through the front door one day. Remind me to never doubt her again. Then I found out that Abyss was the first place you went, that I was the first person you sought out?” Yuri laughs quietly.

“For you it was five years,” Byleth says, “for me, it was a matter of opening my eyes.” Somehow, he manages to mirror the same expression he did back then – as if he were a heartbroken puppy.

“Don’t look so upset. I just told you I thought of you every day – that includes your face,” Yuri tells him, his hand returning to the back of his neck. He pulls their faces together, nose touching against his nose. “I’m glad I didn’t write your name.”

“You’ll never have to.” Yuri barks laughter at that sincere proclamation.

“That sounds like a promise.”

“It is.”

“And how are you going to keep it?”

“I’ll protect you.”

“Protect me? Have you forgotten we’re talking about you?”

“Stay by my side.”

“Now it sounds like you’re proposing.” Byleth falls silent at that, affixes Yuri with an earnest gaze. Yuri feels the heat rise up from deep within him, coloring his cheeks, reddening the shell of his ears. His nape burns, and the flush spreads in his chest. “Then, it’s a promise. The fighting tomorrow will go well and we won’t have to write any name,” Yuri says. Byleth nods as he leans forward, licking his lips, his tongue just barely brushing against Yuri’s.

This kiss is far more measured and careful, Byleth’s eyes close slowly, holding Yuri’s face in his hands. Yuri’s arms wrap around Byleth, find the hem of his trousers. He pulls at the last bit of resistance, that side of Byleth’s tunic which is still tucked in. Yuri’s hands now seek their prize underneath the freed tunic. Pinpricks of cold sweat still pepper Byleth’s back, the remnants of his run around the camp. But his skin is smooth, and although he is fairly slender to look at, Yuri can feel hard muscle underneath his touch.

Byleth’s thumb moves in a circle against Yuri’s cheekbone, as tongue presses against tongue. They intertwine, explore, seek out, and inevitably come back to each other. Keeping his embrace tight around Byleth’s waist, Yuri deftly flips them over, pinning Byleth beneath him. They end up underneath the shadow of the bed, Byleth’s hair flipped in a spiked crown around his head, stray wisps still moving across his forehead. “Hey,” Yuri says, “tonight. Did you want to –” His words trail off as he watches Byleth reach out, stick his hand between the mattress and the bed frame. Yuri takes what Byleth pulls out for him, and grins wickedly when he sees it.

“Did you plan this?” Yuri asks, accusingly holding up the bottle of oil in front of Byleth’s face. “Were you going to bring me back to your tent so you could seduce me?” Byleth’s hand winds into the bedsheet, and he pulls on it as he stretches, until that deeply red fabric clashes against Byleth’s hair. Byleth smiles, a smug and self-assured thing, as he arches his back and coils like a cat beneath Yuri.

“Yes,” Byleth says, his tunic raised and exposing part of his belly, his ribs.

“And they say I’m the schemer,” Yuri says as he puts the bottle aside for now, instead focusing his attention on that slip of skin. He kneels between Byleth’s legs, his feet hooked over Yuri’s legs. Yuri’s hands move over Byleth’s hips, fingertips now touching his skin, his thumb hooked into the hem of the tunic. He pulls it over Byleth’s head completely, and then folds, a hand against his side and his tongue running down the center of Byleth’s chest.

He ensures that Byleth memorizes his touch. His firm but gentle grasp, the way his hands glide over his body. He pays attention to all that needs attention, even more to places that don’t. Yuri’s thumb moves over Byleth’s nipple as Yuri’s mouth kisses the junction just underneath Byleth’s ribs. He undoes the buttons of Byleth’s trousers, and begins to pull them off. Byleth brings his legs around Yuri, to the front of him, pressing them together and raising them. It’s easy for Yuri to shuck the pants away, his arms quickly encircling Byleth’s legs.

There is power here, perfect and bare, felt in the way Byleth moves. His legs are long, graceful, and just as the rest of him, covered in tight muscle. He spreads Byleth’s legs apart as Yuri moves back, and then lies flat, going from his knees to his belly. He slips one arm underneath one of Byleth’s bent leg, keeps the other one pinned beneath his weight. He turns his head against Byleth’s inner thigh, and plants a wet kiss. His breath is warm against the ghost of it. Nevertheless, Byleth feels the shiver run through him.

Yuri takes his time, painting Byleth’s thigh in slow and sloppy kisses. He presses his teeth against his skin, biting him from time to time, but most often taking the opportunity to leave love marks. Byleth writhes, his cock painfully hard and twitching, the slit of it beginning to leak with his desire. Yuri instead fondles Byleth’s balls, rolling them underneath his touch, pressing kisses to the v of Byleth’s groin, enjoying hearing Byleth’s breathing suddenly hitch. The leg over Yuri’s shoulder tightens its grasp on him, his heel pressing into his back. “Impatient,” Yuri says as he presses his face against Byleth’s cock, opens his mouth, and runs his tongue from base to tip, causing Byleth to shiver.

Yuri reaches out, finds the bottle he had set aside earlier. He still has an arm underneath Byleth’s thigh, wrapped around his leg, hand holding onto his thigh. The other one removes the cork with his thumb, oil spilling over his fingers, onto the rugs which carpet the base of the tent. He closes his eyes as he puts his lips against the head of Byleth’s cock. His tongue slides over his slit, and on Byleth’s inhale, he presses slick fingers against Byleth’s entrance, and begins to teasingly massage him there. Yuri relaxes his throat, takes Byleth’s cock deep, already leaking bitter salt.

He feels it as keenly as he does pain. Physical sensations, they cannot be denied or smothered. A wound elicits a visceral reaction from Byleth. No blood spilled here, yet a reaction all the same. Byleth’s hips roll upwards, miniscule in motion, trying to hold himself back. His fist is fully wrapped in the bed sheet, twisting down his arm. Every inch of his skin feels feverish, even more so when Yuri finally pushes his finger inside, to stroke at a certain angle, a certain spot. Byleth’s eyes go wide, his free hand shooting down to tangle in Yuri’s hair.

It doesn’t bother Yuri any, still bent at his task. The pigment so carefully applied over his left eyelid is now smeared, a trail of fading color leading to his temple. He pays attention to the way Byleth’s breathing quickens, the soft gasps and moans which pepper the air. He adds a second finger, stretching and thrusting inside. Byleth’s hand trembles at the side of Yuri’s face, until – “wait. Yuri, I’m –” but there’s no hesitation as Yuri continues to suck his cock. As Byleth comes undone, he pulls his arm down and the sheet with it. It floats in air for a moment, before landing over Byleth’s legs, and Yuri.

Byleth, stars behind his eyelids, takes a moment to realize he’s just accidentally covered Yuri almost entirely. He lifts the edge of the blanket by his belly, and lifts it to find Yuri moving to kneel back, his hand raising to his mouth. He managed to swallow most of it, but a small line of cum paints his upper lip. He finds it with a swipe of his thumb, and licks his thumb and his lip clean. The blanket rests over his head, his shoulders; Yuri framed by a robe of crimson. “That went well,” Yuri says as he crawls forward, a cat stalking its prey, to kiss along the line of Byleth’s jaw.

Byleth reaches between them, undoes the rest of the buttons of Yuri’s trousers. His cock strains hard against his undergarments, against the back of Byleth’s hand. Yuri pulls the blanket off of him, bundles it up and moves to tuck it underneath Byleth’s head as a make-shift pillow. As he stretches out over him, Byleth takes the opportunity to pull Yuri’s trousers and undergarments down and off his hips, his hand moving over the smooth curve of his ass. At the sight of Yuri completely hard and leaking, Byleth’s own cock begins to come back to life. “Hey,” Yuri says, his hands now on Byleth’s hips, “roll over.”

Byleth nods before he turns, on his knees, resting on his elbows. Yuri’s taken the opportunity to take off the rest of his clothes entirely, and he pours the remaining oil over his cock, Byleth’s entrance. It dribbles warm down the inside of Byleth’s thighs. Byleth bundles the blanket beneath him, his cheeks almost crimson as he moves his face against it, hugs it tightly. Yuri’s hands find his hips yet again, gripping tightly as he grinds his cock against Byleth’s ass. “Are you sure about this?” Yuri asks.

“Yes,” Byleth is only barely able to look over his shoulder at Yuri, “yes.” Byleth’s legs tremble as Yuri’s cock finally begins to push inside. His touch slips over Byleth’s lower back, his ribs, and one hand moves top press against the floor so that Yuri can keep his balance. He kisses the sweat from Byleth’s back, his hair tickling against him as he makes a star chart with kisses. Well and truly deep inside Byleth now, he begins to thrust in earnest. The whole of Byleth’s body shudders at the sensation, his face pressing into the blanket.

He holds his whole body so tightly, afraid to let himself move. Yuri runs a hand over Byleth’s back, up and down his spine. A hand wraps around his waist. The other at his chest, hand splaying over his ribs. Yuri pulls Byleth up and back, against him. Byleth’s legs curl around his, toes pressing into the floor, his head resting back against Yuri’s shoulder. Skin slaps against skin thanks to Yuri’s tight thrusts, touch moving over Byleth’s belly, wrapping around his cock yet again. His other hand moves upwards, over the goblet of Byleth’s throat.

Warmth presses against warmth as Yuri hugs Byleth close, and he’s able to feel every single one of Yuri’s thrusts, the way his body rolls with the rhythm. Yuri pulls him into it, and Byleth begins to meet his thrusts, pushing his hips backwards into him. Yuri breathes by his ear, labored and hot. Byleth’s hand now wraps around his wrist, pulls Yuri’s hand away. He allows himself to fall forward, pushing away from Yuri, twisting until he lies back on the ground, the blanket underneath his head. Yuri stretches out over him, a hand moving to Byleth’s face.

“Does it hurt?” Yuri asks as his thumb wipes away the tears which roll down Byleth’s face, “should we stop?” Byleth reaches up, brushes the hair away from Yuri’s face. He bends his legs, lifts them, and wraps them around Yuri, locking his ankles together behind him.

“It doesn’t hurt,” he says, “don’t stop.” Yuri leans down, his lips gently pressing against his, the kiss tasting of tears. Byleth groans as Yuri finds his entrance once again, pushes back inside. Yuri wraps an arm around Byleth’s waist, where he arches his back. His other elbow is planted by Byleth’s head, a steadying force as he finds the rhythm once again. Byleth reaches up, embraces him, a hand slipping into Yuri’s hair, pressing against the back of his head. He pulls Yuri down to him. “Put more of your weight on me.”

Yuri’s knees slip, his elbow moves, resting a bit more of his weight against Byleth as he fucks him. Byleth is a mess of tears and trembling, but the hug he keeps is sure and steady. “Heavier,” he says, pressing his heels against Yuri’s back, “all of it.” Yuri has his face buried in the crook of Byleth’s neck, unable to stop his hips from moving. He lets all his weight rest against Byleth. Byleth embraces him tightly, warmly, clenching all around him. Byleth resolves to carry this person, always. Him, and all of Yuri’s lofty goals and dreams. Once the war is over, he’d see them done.

Yuri only sees glimpses of Byleth through the haze of combat. He, Edelgard and their troops make up the tip of their formation, a spear which punches through Dimitri’s defensive lines. Yuri stays close. It’s hardly over before the next one is planned. Before the day is done, they will march on Fhirdiad. They chase Rhea back to the city. As the rain begins to fall, they descend upon a capital in flames. It’s easier to focus on what comes next. The immediate next step. For Yuri, it’s one enemy to the other. Avoiding a burning building, marching through an unscathed ally.

Rhea is waiting for them at the city center. As Yuri spies the gleaming white head of the Immaculate One towering over buildings, he’s filled with a sick sense of dread. The last time he saw that thing, Byleth was gone for five years. Breaking formation, Yuri heads off towards it in a dead sprint. He pushes away the aches and pains of battle, the fatigue which permeates every muscle. He doesn’t stop even as he hears the distinctive rattle of the Creator Sword, the scream of Rhea’s dying cry. He pushes himself to go faster, but even then – he arrives in time to watch the sword slip from Byleth’s hands.

He’d fainted before. Yuri had even carried him back to Garreg Mach from the field, studying his newly changed green hair all the while. Then, there was some warning. A wobble, before the fall. Here, Byleth drops like a stone. Edelgard cries out, dashes towards him, and manages to catch him just in time. Yuri watches this from a distance, walks forward unsteadily as Edelgard holds Byleth in her arms, presses her head against his chest. “Give him to me.” It’s a hoarse whisper from far away, but Yuri is still walking towards them. “Give him to me!” Louder this time, and Edelgard looks up, the tears shining in her eyes.

“Yuri,” she says. She opens her mouth to say something else but –

“Give him to me,” Yuri says, voice raised, the panic ringing loud and clear. He drops to his knees opposite Edelgard, his arms open wide. Carefully, gently, Edelgard places Byleth’s body in Yuri’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

Yuri has a hand at the nape of Byleth’s neck. He slowly lays him down over the cobblestone, and then Yuri puts his other hand at Byleth’s chest. He’s done this a thousand times before. He pours white magic into his body, and searches for the wound to heal. He searches, and searches, finds no injury to fix. Still, he pours out his last reserves, exhausts every last bit of energy. “You’re fine,” Yuri is telling him, “there’s nothing wrong, so you can wake up.”

“Yuri.” Fhirdiad burns around them. There will be naught but rubble soon. Ignoring Edelgard calling out to him, Yuri instead pulls Byleth’s body into his arms. His head rests lifelessly against Yuri’s shoulder, his arms limp against the ground. Yuri’s eyes are wide, unable to stop from shaking. He’s known loss. He was born in it. Somehow, this one hurts more than all the others combined. He can feel his own heartbeat pound in his ears, a drum which beats mercilessly, echoes, and his newfound emptiness wracks him utterly.

He had promised. Yuri should have told him last night how he wanted to have breakfast with him. Not just that breakfast, but many breakfasts. All of them. He wanted eggs, bacon, and Byleth’s hair bright in the morning sun. He doesn’t want a name. He doesn’t want a name in a notebook, because Byleth had promised. “Yuri, his hair –” This time, when Edelgard speaks, Yuri listens. He loosens his grasp just a touch, enough to see Byleth through a watery gaze. He’d forgotten how blue Byleth’s hair looked before. It spreads now, chasing every drop of green.

Yuri bends over, presses his head against Byleth’s chest. He holds his breath, banishes every single other sound. He nearly drops him at the sound of a heartbeat, loud and true, beating inside of Byleth’s ribcage. Byleth’s eyes slowly open, blue once again. Wildly looking everywhere, at first, his gaze finally settles on Yuri, his sight coming into focus on him. The smile breaks wide and free across Byleth’s face, encompassing him completely, impossibly dazzling. “Yuri-bird,” Byleth says, reaching up to touch Yuri’s cheek.

#Yuri Leclerc #Byleth #Yuri x Byleth #Yurileth #Byri #Fire Emblem #Yuri x M!Byleth #M!Byleth #Yuri Leclerc x Byleth #Yuri Leclerc x M!Byleth #Fire Emblem: Three Houses #FE3H #FE #writing #mine

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hermitologist · 4 years

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My 20 Favorite Records of 2019

Lists! Everyone loves them. Here’s another one.

These are the records I liked the most this year. That doesn’t mean they’re the *best*, that means I liked them. You might not. That’s fine! You might be livid that Porpoise Corpse’s neo-classical folk prog double LP isn’t on my list because it’s an easy top 5 record for you, but maybe electric mandolin solos, blast beats, and harpsichord runs aren’t my thing. That’s fine too! It’s infinitely cooler and far more productive to let people enjoy the art they enjoy rather than wasting precious minutes of your life trying to convince the entire internet to have the exact same taste in music.

That said ...

This years list is chock full of the usual, if you’re familiar with my taste at all -- tons of super heavy bummer jams, a handful of Radiohead-adjacent mid-tempo rock of the indie or emo variety, some hearty post-rock, some tried-and-true vets doing the thing they do very well ... again, and a few outliers. The honorable mentions list gets considerably more eclectic if you’re looking for stuff that sounds less like a soundtrack to various stages of the apocalypse.

As always, I welcome your suggestions for records and podcasts I might’ve missed the boat on. There’s way too much good stuff out there to keep up with, so PLEASE help me out.

Also: When I am not being a lazy pile of crap, I try to haul my dadbod around town for a run a few days a week and will listen to/briefly review a record in the process. Almost every record on this list has been a part of one of those posts, so if you’re interested in such a thing, please check out my Instagram.

BONUS: I put together a playlist on Spotify of my favorite song from each of my top 20 records, and a separate one for the 51 other records I liked this year, so if you’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, just needle drop a little and see if anything grabs you. And if anyone’s feeling productive and has time to do an Apple Music playlist, I’ll link and credit you.

Top 20 Spotify Playlist

Top 20 Apple Music Playlist -- Thanks, Austin!

Other Faves Spotify Playlist

But before we get to the Top 20, a couple of records that deserve a nod ...

Record I Listened To The Most In 2019 Whether I Wanted To Or Not

Angel Du$t - Pretty Buff

This is my four-year-old son’s favorite record, and while I’m trying to round out his musical palate by throwing on all sorts of different bands while we’re hanging out, he insists on either “no music” or “The Basketball Song” (which is “Big Ass Love”). I have no idea how or why his little amazingly weird brain equates the song with basketball (a sport he doesn’t really play or watch or think about ever, to my knowledge), but it does. He LOVES IT. I’ve got to admit, I didn't care for the song all that much when I first heard it, but it’s an earworm, and some 3000 plays later, I love it, and I love the record. Funny how that works out.

Record That Came out in 2009, But I Didn’t Discover Until 2019

Self-Evident - Endings

Endings was neck-and-neck with my favorite record of 2019 for spins this year. Coincidentally, the it was recommended by someone from the band who made my #1 record, and it has moments where it sounds a whole hell of a lot like my #1 record. Blows my mind that a band that was/is so incredibly in my wheelhouse sonically, that has released nine LPs over an 18 year career, and operates in circles incredibly close to a ton of bands I love and respect and nerd out about music with somehow managed to elude me for the better part of two decades. At any rate I’m incredibly stoked to have finally found them, absolutely love them, and honestly might’ve listened to this LP 20 times in a matter of a few days when I got my first taste. It’s that good.

And now for the list ...

20) Remote Viewing - It’s Better This Way

Super nasty, dark, sludgy, well-crafted noise rock out of London that fits somewhere in between KEN Mode and early-Kowloon Walled City sonically. You’d think it was pretty crazy to have a band be so locked in and fully formed as early as LP2, but then you find out they’re ex-members of Palehorse, Million Dead, and I Want You Dead and it all kinda makes sense. Unfortunately, the song on the playlist is from a previous LP (because the new one is inexplicably not on Spotify), but you can and should get the new record on Bandcamp.

19) From Indian Lakes - Dimly Lit

I’ve been a big fan of FIL for years, but have always been at a bit of a loss when it comes time to describe them. It’s hazy and dreamy, but not quite shoegazey ... it’s insanely infectious and pleasing to the ear, but not really poppy ... it’s forward-thinking and experimental, but not quite art-rock or groggy at all. It’s just excellent. Full stop. If you dig anything from Tycho, to Radiohead, to The Cure, to Slowdive you’ll enjoy this.

18) Stray From The Path - Internal Atomics

Furious, mathy, riff-heavy hardcore from Long Island that sounds like a reformed Rage Against The Machine had spent the past two decades doing steroids, mainlining Red Bull, and studying the finer points of Moshology. The breakdowns are massive, the drumming absolutely mental, and the vocals pissed as hell. At my advanced age, it’s rare that a record makes me want to pit and/or try to deadlift cars, but this one’s got that magic.

17) Glassing - Spotted Horse

Mostly spazzy, occasionally dreamy, black-metal sprinkled post-hardcore that fits in very well with bands like Portrayal Of Guilt and Respire in the rebirth of traditional screamo. It’s fits and starts of chaos and beauty, and it all sounds and feels like it could completely go off the rails at any time which is what made bands like Orchid and Majority Rule and Saetia so great back in the day.

16) La Dispute - Panorama

It’s no secret that I’m a big La Dispute fan (Thrice has toured the US with them twice in the past decade), and I love all of their records, but I’m pretty sure I can say with full confidence that this is the best record they’ve ever made. Everything is firing at peak performance, and the way the record is arranged and sequenced makes it feel more like a film score than a collection of songs. It’s a complete work -- meant to be listened to as such, which is a daunting artistic task, but they pulled it off in grand fashion.

15) Russian Circles - Blood Year

This band has been in the upper echelon of post-rock bands for as long as I can remember, and Blood Year is another incredible addition to their already stellar discography. These guys are all absolute monsters at their given instruments, and one of the best live rock bands on the planet, so getting to hear them do their thing on a record that manages to actually capture that live energy and ambience really does the trick for me.

14) Greet Death - New Hell

This one kinda came outta nowhere for me, as I (ashamedly) was not familiar with them prior to giving New Hell a spin. It blew me away. I’m a total sucker for bummer jams, and this record is full of top-quality sludgy, sad, shoegazey goodness. If you dig Cloakroom, O’ Brother, or Pianos Become The Teeth this is gonna be right up your alley.

13) Sleep Token - Sundowning

Another record that came out of nowhere to knock me on my ass. I downloaded it before a transatlantic flight on a whim (after hearing about 30 seconds of the opening track), hoping that it would be a nice, mellow companion to ease my in-flight anxiety. And it was, but whoa was it so much more than that. It kinda sounds like a collab between Active Child and Deftones -- poppy, melancholic piano ballads, brought to crushing crescendos via super heavy drop-tuned sludge -- which sounds like a mess, but it works so well. It’s a killer record and probably would’ve landed higher on this year’s list if it hadn’t come out so late in the year.

12) Big Thief - UFOF

This one’s a bit of an outlier, and a damn good one at that. I came across UFOF via a friend’s recommendation before the hype train had left the station, and honestly didn’t know what to expect. Said recommendation simply said that it was good and infectious and probably a few other things that I can’t recall, but didn’t mention the folk thing (which is great because I probably would have passed). The friend was right. It’s good (maybe even great), incredibly infectious, and gave me a nice reprieve from the heavy stuff I tend to listen to on the regular.

11) Cave In - Final Transmission

I’m beyond thankful we got any new music from Cave In after Caleb passed. They owed us nothing, and had every right to walk away, but managed to rally to release a killer record that is heavy both sonically and conceptually, and still manages to give me chills despite being live demos recorded in a rehearsal room. There are few bands on the planet who’ve inspired me like Cave In have, and seeing them pull together to grieve and forge ahead to continue to build their legacy is even more inspiring. What a band.

10) Pedro The Lion - Phoenix

My favorite singer/songwriter of my generation decided to revive the project that made me a fan of his in the first place. That project put out a record for the first time in 15 years, and I had unreasonably high expectations for it. Phoenix delivered and then some. I remember sitting at my kitchen table, weeping into my cup of coffee the first time I heard Phoenix, the same way Control used to make it seem like the inside of the Thrice van was getting a little dusty during cross-country drives back in the early 00s. It blows my mind that David Bazan can be such a prolific artist, write such insanely powerful music, and seem incapable of writing a dud song.

9) Coilguns - Watchwinders

This Swiss noise-rock band kicks unbelievable amounts of ass. Their Millenials LP made my favorites list last year, and when I heard they had a follow up coming out a little over a year later, my gut reaction was to worry they’d blow it with a new record that was either rushed and/or half-assed, or lose the plot and take a hard left turn and make something markedly un-Coilguns. They did neither. The made an absolute monster of an album, that was apparently written in the studio, and is full of live energy in rawness that is pretty tough to capture in a sterile atmosphere like a studio. Watchwinders dropped in late October, and if I’d had a bit more time with it, I could see it moving up to my Top 5. It’s that good. I find myself going back to it constantly.

8) Blessed - Salt

This record kinda defies description, but it reminds me of everything from Pile to Menomena to Interpol to La Dispute to Devo at times. As scatterbrained and incongruent as that might sound, I assure you it rules. It was in verrrry heavy rotation this year -- mostly for the utterly filthy drum groove on the final track. If you like your music catchy, but slathered in weird, this is definitely gonna do the thing for you. It’s an incredible record.

7) Herod - Sombre Dessein

I hadn’t heard of this band before they popped up on a Spotify playlist early this year, and when “Reckoning” hit, it absolutely flattened me. You know that nuclear apocalypse scene from Terminator 2? That’s what “Reckoning” did to me. It was undoubtedly my favorite ultra-heavy track of the year, and while it’s my favorite song on the record by a pretty large margin, the rest of Sombre Dessein kicks ass too. It’s 42 minutes of crushing heaviness that kinda sounds like a blend of Cult Of Luna, Meshuggah, and Gojira. Heavy. Pissed. Unrelenting. And Outstanding.

6) Pile - Green & Grey

Every time I try to describe Pile to someone I fail. On Wikipedia they’re described as “indie rock”, which ... sure, I suppose? There’s a little post-punk in there, a little post-rock, a little noise-rock, nods to classic rock (maybe?), a little of that southern magic that made Colour Revolt so great (but Pile’s from Boston so hmm ... ), some country even? Do you like weird guitars? Freakish musicians? Melancholic crooning? I dunno. It’s all over the place, but in the best ways possible. They’re a singular band, and so damn good. Green & Grey is stellar addition to a discography that is already full of incredible music ... even if the album cover gives makes me want to fold those blankets and put them away.

5) PUP - Morbid Stuff

Was this the year that PUP broke? Definitely seems like it, and rightfully so. Morbid Stuff is my favorite thing they’ve ever done, but I’ve absolutely loved everything they’ve ever put out, so that’s saying a lot. Per usual, it’s insanely infectious and anthemic without being traditionally poppy or relying on tropes to burrow into your skull and take up residence there. It’s uplifting musically, but kinda depressing lyrically, which does this weird push/pull thing in my brain that makes it impossible to stop listening to. The musicianship is fantastic, the guitar parts especially -- like the guitar line in “Scorpion Hill” wow. I really needed a record to fill the gaping void between the metal/sludge/noise and the ambient/downtempo electronica I listened to this year, and Morbid Stuff fit the bill perfectly.

4) Cult Of Luna - A Dawn To Fear

These guys belong on the Mount Rushmore of Post-Rock/Metal with Neurosis and Isis. Nobody has done it better than them over the past two decades, and A Dawn To Fear is arguably their best work to date. It, like any Cult Of Luna requires a great deal of patience, but man if they don’t make the wait worth it. They’re the masters of the slow build to an absolutely crushing climax, the dynamic shifts that leave you feeling like you got hit by a freight train, the nuanced instrumentation that tells a different story each time you listen to a certain section of a song. They’re absolute masters at their craft, and this record is them at their peak.

3) Big|Brave - A Gaze Among Them

Another record that came out of nowhere to completely floor me. I hadn’t heard a single note from this band until a friend recommended I check out the opening track, “Muted Shifting Of Space”. I did ... and that plodding drum and bass pulse with dark, swirling, ethereal guitar swells/feedback and soaring vocals building into a huge release of sludgy, drop-tuned goodness checked off all the boxes for me. I was hooked. The atmosphere and dynamics Big|Brave have built their sound around give every song a cinematic feel -- if you close your eyes, can you see drone footage of landscapes too? . If you dig post-rock/metal that is experimental around the edges, moody, absurdly heavy, and has both feet firmly planted in sludge, this is a must-have record.

2) Cloudkicker - Unending

If you’ve been following me on social media or reading these year-end lists for a while you’re probably pretty familiar with Cloudkicker by now because any time we get new music I can’t shut up about it and the record invariably ends up on this list. This instance is no different. Unending is the first LP we’ve gotten from Ben Sharp in four years, and it’s worth the wait and then some. He’s managed to pull from every era of CK and turn it into a masterpiece mash-up of styles without it ever feeling rehashed or uninspired. I’d go far as to say this tops Beacons and Fade for me, and comes awfully close to challenging Subsume for my favorite Cloudkicker record of all time and space. There’s soooo much progressive and djenty masturbatory metal garbage floating in the ether right now. Hearing the one of the kings do the damn thing properly is incredibly refreshing.

1) Town Portal - Of Violence

No surprise here. I’ve been crapping my pants about this band ever since my good friend Scott Evans shared their music with me a couple years ago. I’ve been unhealthily obsessed ever since. The magical progressive rock/metal these three guys are capable melts and massages my brain in a way few bands ever have. Of Violence is incredibly mathy without ever feeling awkward, it’s melodic without being conventional, it’s discordant without being abrasive, it’s heavy as shit without being overloaded with distortion, it’s progressive as hell without ever coming remotely close to devolving into a wankfest, and it’s damn near perfect in every way. Songwriting? Great. Tones? Phenomenal. Musicianship? Otherworldly. Execution? Flawless. Mix? Perfect. Replayability? (Not a word, but ... ) PUT THIS RECORD ON A GODDAMN LOOP AND NEVER TURN IT OFF. Can you tell I like it? You might too, so give it a listen. And if by chance you do not like it, please see a doctor. You’re broken.

OTHER STUFF I REALLY ENJOYED THIS YEAR

HEAVY JAMS

METZ - Automat

Buildings - Negative Sound

Helms Alee - Noctiluca

Minors - Abject Bodies

Periphery - Periphery 4: HAIL STAN

Employed To Serve - Eternal Forward Motion

Elizabeth Colour Wheel - Nocero

Defeater - S/T

Pelican - Nighttime Stories

Spotlights - Love And Decay

Great Falls - A Sense of Rest

Baroness - Gold & Grey

The End of the Ocean - -aire

Vous Autres - Champ du Sang

Brutus - Nest

Torche - Admission

Glose - The Second Best of Glose

Throes - In The Hands of an Angry God

Slipknot - We Are Not Your Kind

meth. - Mother of Red Light

SECT - Blood of the Beasts

Kublai Khan TX - Absolute

Seizures - Reverie of the Revolving Diamond

Dead Kiwis - Systematic Home Run

Norma Jean - All Hail

Refused - War Music

Chamber - Ripping / Pulling / Tearing

MIDRANGE JAMS

Jimmy Eat World - Surviving

Elbow - Giants of All Sizes

Raketkanon - RKTKN #3

Bad Religion - Age of Unreason

The Appleseed Cast - The Fleeting Light of Impermanence

DIIV - Deceiver

Idiot Pilot - Blue Blood

Microwave - Death Is A Warm Blanket

Low Dose - S/T

SWMRS - Berkeley’s On Fire

Self-Evident - Lost Inside The Machinery

B. Hamilton - Nothing and Nowhere

MELLOW JAMS

Trade Wind - Certain Freedoms

Square Peg Round Hole - Branches

Great Grandpa - Four of Arrows

Local Natives - Violet Street

Rhone - Leaving State

Shlohmo - The End

Tycho - Weather

Bon Iver - i,i

Drowse - Light Mirror

Bonniesongs - Energetic Mind

Telefon Tel Aviv - Dreams Are Not Enough

GoGo Penguin - Ocean In A Drop

Bent Knee - You Know What They Mean

THE PODCAST QUEUE

The Deadcast (RIP) - sports, culture

Chapo Trap House - politics

The Rich Roll Podcast - health, wellness, endurance sports

Hang Up & Listen - sports

Effectively Wild - baseball

The Gist - current events

The Downbeat - drums, humor

To Live & Die In LA - true crime

FilmDrunk Frotcast - movies, culture, humor

The Modern Drummer Podcast with Mike & Mike - drums (duh)

The Trap Set - also drums

Song Exploder - songwriting

#music #AOTY #endoftheyearlist #topalbums

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rainbowserenity · 5 years

Text

@hoperaievent Day Three - Fireworks

Lightning Farron did not get embarrassed easily. She did what had to be done, everyone else's opinions be damned. After all, someone in the Corps had to be steady and not so easily flustered, able to put aside emotion for the task at hand.

So when she felt like this was her most embarrassing moment ever, surely it wasn't an exaggeration.

“This is humiliating,” she muttered as Serah brushed some powder on her nose.

“Oh, come on sis!” Serah grinned, clearly enjoying this far more than Lightning ever would. “It's for a good cause, right?”

“If I wanted to support the cause, I'd make a donation.” She narrowed her eyes. “I wouldn't have signed myself up for charity auction for someone to bid on me for a date!”

“I'd do it if I could!” Serah claimed, to which Lightning rolled her eyes. Like hell she'd ever let her sister go up there, even if it was for charity. “Just be your charming self. Maybe someone really handsome will bid on you.” She waggled her eyebrows for effect.

Lightning rolled her eyes again, breathing a sigh of relief when the makeup was put down. The charity auction started in about a half hour, but Serah had wanted plenty of time to prepare her sister. This apparently included hair, makeup, and putting her in a suitable outfit.

The whole thing was completely insane.

She’d never understood the appeal. Every year, each city that held a branch of the Gurdian Corps – Eden, Palumpolom, the Whitewood, to name a few – put together some sort of charity to raise money and awareness for whatever cause that was needed at the time. This year it was for Pulse refugees. Each city also had their own way of doing such a thing. Eden, she knew, held a fashion show, which was almost as silly as Bodhum’s tradition.

Auctioning off dates with members of the Corps.

For the past couple of years, Lightning had managed to avoid being a part of this whole ridiculous thing by ‘coincidentally taking that weekend off, or coming up with some other dire emergency. She never skipped out on work, so that was a true testament to how insane this was.

Unfortunately for her, Serah had gotten to talking to Amodar – Lightning’s boss – one night when everyone went out for drinks. A grin and a couple of giggles later, and soon, a certain traitorous younger sister had put her older sister on the roster for dates.

It was embarrassing enough to be paraded around. It was even worse when your own sister was the cause.

What was also unfortunate was that Lightning had a very difficult time saying no to Serah – not to mention that now Amodar was counting on her. She tried to think of it as just another mission. Some things in life you just do.

Ugh.

“Don’t make that face,” Serah chided, hands on her hips as she looked over her handiwork. “You want to get the highest bid, right?”

“Any bid would be humiliating enough.” Lightning glanced in the mirror, resisting the urge to do a double take. It looked like her...yet it didn’t. Serah had admittedly done a beautiful job with the makeup. She still looked like herself, but just better.

She took a step back, ignoring the way Serah was grinning. The outfit was nice, too – Serah had made her put on a deep blue scoop-neck top and a short black pleated skirt. Since it was summer, she’d put on some strappy black sandals. Her hair was a bit more curled than usual, and her trademark lightning bolt pendant completed the look.

“...Not bad.”

“Oh, hush. You look great.” Serah’s grin grew wider and she looped her arm through her sister’s. “Whoever wins the bid for you tonight is gonna be sooo lucky!”

“Right.” Lightning knew it was pointless to argue any further. Besides, it was getting late and they still had a ten-minute walk to the main Corps office, where the auction was being held.

This was going to be the most embarrassing evening of her life.

–

The one good thing about this silly auction was that you had to preregister and go through a number of security checks, plus a background check. This drastically reduced – if not outright eliminated – the amount of weirdos that could bid on you. She’d heard that anyone with any sort of criminal record was immediately turned away.

At least in that respect, she didn’t have to worry. Not that she couldn’t defend herself, but it was a relief that she didn’t have to think about it.

Though maybe that would’ve been preferable to the humiliation.

“Up next is Sergeant Dymond!” Amodar, who was playing the auctioneer, gestured to a pretty dark-haired woman whose smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

You and me both, Lightning thought.

“Dymond enjoys reading, writing, and playing video games in her spare time. Her friends say she’s very kind, but she can hold her own in a fight like no one else! Let’s start the bidding at a thousand gil!”

As people started raising their hands and calling out increasingly high numbers, Lightning discreetly wiped her palms on her skirt, staring out at the crowd. A surprising number of them seemed to be around her age or younger. She wondered if this sort of thing didn’t appeal to someone older, since they’d probably be married or something by now.

Before she turned her head away, she caught the stare of sea-green eyes.

She’d never seen that face before in her life. Never seen that person. But something about him made her stare, their eyes locked despite the dozens and dozens of other people across the room. He quirked the slightest bit of a smile and smoothed out his silver hair.

Lightning reflexively smoothed her own hair out, although dropped her hand since fidgeting could imply that she was nervous. And she was not.

“ - And that’s twenty-eight thousand gil to the lady from Eden!”

A woman with light brown hair jumped out of her seat and grinned. To Lightning’s surprise, Sergeant Dymond smiled as well and the two of them headed down the hall so that the winner could pay and they could discuss the upcoming date.

Which meant that now...

“Up next is our first-timer! Despite that, she’s been loyal to the Corps for many years and always makes sure her missions are successful. Please get your bidding arms ready for Sergeant Lightning Farron!”

Lightning side-eyed Amodar, who was clearly having way, way too much fun with all of this, but she obediently stepped out of line and towards the cleared out area so people could see her. When she saw Serah’s huge grin, she tried to relax what was probably a scowl on her face to something more neutral.

“Sergeant Farron enjoys kickboxing, fine dining, and long walks on the beach – which sounds perfect for a date around here, am I right?” Amodar chuckled and Lightning wondered what the hell he was reading from. Probably something Serah had filled out, ugh. “I’ve got it on good authority that she can pack away a steak like nobody’s business. Let’s start the bidding at a thousand gil!”

“Eleven hundred!”

The instantly familiar voice made Lightning narrow her eyes and glare into the crowd. It wasn’t hard to miss Snow, Serah’s idiot boyfriend, who was waving his arm with a stupid grin on his face. To her surprise, Serah was grinning too.

At least someone was having fun.

To her absolute utter relief, Snow was immediately outbid. On the flip side, she was surprised that anybody would bid for the chance to go out with her, even if it was just some silly stunt for charity.

For a little while, the bidding went between a redhead woman and a black-haired man, though occasionally others would pepper in bids as well. Lightning had never seen any of these people around Bodhum, which probably meant they were tourists. No wonder they were bidding for a chance to date her.

Throughout the night, she’d been paying attention to what sort of amount the winners paid. Final bids seemed to average out at around twenty-five thousand gil, though some were a bit more or less.

So when bids to date her crept up to thirty-five thousand gil, she was more than a little surprised.

The bids kept on coming, typically in increments of five-hundred or a thousand gil. Lightning wondered how long she was supposed to stand there – surely Amodar would cap it off at some point? - when an unfamiliar voice broke in.

“One-hundred thousand gil.”

A hush immediately fell over the crowd. Lightning’s gaze darted around, wondering who would be insane enough to bid so much when they probably didn’t even know her.

She saw his sea-green eyes before the raised hand.

Amodar was blessedly silent for a few seconds, probably processing the whole thing, but when no one else spoke up, he finally shouted, “A hundred thousand gil to the gentleman from Palumpolum!”

Even though she knew she had to move so the next person could be presented, Lightning just stood there in shock, her heart pounding for reasons she could barely comprehend.

One-hundred thousand gil?! Who the hell spent that much on a charity auction?!

Still dazed, she finally walked off when Amodar cleared his throat to announce the next person, who was muttering something about not being able to top that. As though she’d actually come here to set a record or something!

The mysterious bidder met with her before they walked down the hall so they could pay. Up close, he looked a bit younger than she’d initially thought. There was a faint smattering of freckles across his nose and his hair looked ridiculously soft.

But it was those damn eyes that kept her rooted to the spot.

“Um...” To her surprise, the man began to blush a bit as an on-duty Corps member appeared to escort them down the hall. She still didn’t move.

“So you’re from Palumpolum?” Maybe that explained the gil amount, considering that was one of the more well-off cities.

“Oh, um, yeah. Yes.” He cleared his throat with a sheepish little smile and held out his hand. “I’m Hope. Hope Estheim.”

She stared at his hand for a second before taking the proffered handshake. His hand was soft and warm and she was suddenly ridiculously aware of the calluses on hers. “Nice to meet you. I’m Lightning...though I guess you know that.”

He chuckled. “For all that gil, I sure hope I was paying attention.” He seemed to realize a second later that they were still holding hands and quickly dropped hers. She instantly missed it.

Their escort cleared his throat and they finally started down the hall. “What the hell possessed you to bid so much?”

Hope’s blush deepened. “I...I don’t know. Call it a compulsion, I suppose. I was planning on just making a donation, but a friend talked me into attending this. And then I saw you and I just...”

She wondered at that. Lightning wasn’t sure if she believed in fate. She lived according to her own rules, everyone else be damned. But she couldn’t deny...this, whatever it was. A spark. It’d been set off from the moment she met his eyes in the crowd by chance.

They reached the room where the payments were processed. A couple more Corps members were sitting at desks, tablets in their hands and papers scattered about. One of them glanced up when Lightning and Hope entered the room and laughed.

“Sergeant Farron! You’re the talk of the auction! Nobody’s ever gotten such a high bid in all the years they’ve been doing this. Closest was Sergeant Blaze a couple of years ago!”

“Right.” She hoped no one else would make a big deal of this. After all, she’d simply stood there. It was Hope who had made the bid.

“Good to hear we’re setting records,” Hope said, suddenly sounding a lot less nervous. “Where do I pay?”

“Right here.” The Corps member typed a few things on the tablet and spun it around to show Hope. Lightning caught sight of the screen, her heart lurching in her throat at all those zeroes.

Hope, however, didn’t flinch and simply took out his card, pressing it against the tablet until a little ding! indicated that the payment had gone through.

He had just paid one-hundred thousand gil for one night with her! That was more than some grunts in the Corps saw in a year!

“Those charities sure will appreciate this.” The tablet was turned back around and the Corps member typed a couple more things before looking up at them. “Now, we’d like you to discuss where you’re going to go on this date. It’s a safety precaution for all the winners. Nobody’s going to spy on you or anything, but someone’ll be checking in at some point just to make sure nothing’s going wrong.”

Hope nodded. “Understandable.” He glanced at Lightning, his cheeks dusted with red again. “So, um, any suggestions? I’m a tourist, after all.”

At first she drew a blank. After all, she didn’t get out much due to work, and she didn’t really want to bring a stranger to the one restaurant she and Serah frequented. At least whoever had written that stupid description of her at the auction had gotten the ‘fine dining’ part right.

But then it came to her. Of course.

“There’s a fireworks show in town tomorrow night,” she said. “It’s a yearly tradition. Kind of a big draw for tourists like you.”

Hope quirked a little smile. “I was actually meaning to see that. I’d love to go with you, if that’s okay.”

“Fine with me.” Lightning turned to the Corps member that had processed Hope’s payment. ��Got that?”

“Date at the fireworks festival,” he said, making a note on the tablet, and something about the word date made Lightning’s face flare. “Got it! Like I said, we’ll have someone check in. But otherwise, enjoy the show!”

“Thanks,” she muttered, turning to leave, if just so she could hide her face. Why the hell did she suddenly feel nervous?

“So, um,” Hope said once they’d walked out. “Should I meet you somewhere tomorrow or...?”

“There’s a bar near the dome where they show the fireworks called Lebreau’s. I’ll meet you in front of there, say, eight?” The show didn’t even start until nearly nine, after the sun finally went down.

“Lebreau’s at eight,” he repeated, then smiled. “I’ll see you then.”

–

At seven-thirty the next evening, Lightning was frantically tearing apart her closet for a decent outfit.

She’d figured she could just throw on any old thing, but for some reason, none of her clothes seemed nice enough. And of course Serah had left an hour ago to meet up with Snow, so she was on her own with no little sister to give her fashion advice.

It didn’t help that Lightning never really thought much of her wardrobe. She usually wore some variant of her Corps uniform and then more casual clothing around the house. What did someone wear on a date?! She wouldn’t know! She’d never been on one!

Oh god, her first date ever was going to be with a relative stranger who’d paid six figures for the privilege.

She glanced at the clock. It was a good twenty minute walk down to Lebreau’s, and it was now past seven-thirty. Time was running out and the temptation to just wear her Corps uniform was becoming more and more, well...tempting.

At seven-forty, she finally just threw on the same skirt and sandals she’d worn at the auction and paired it with fitted blue tank top and a cropped black jacket she’d stolen from Serah’s room. Without another glance in the mirror, she raced out of the house, not wanting to keep Hope waiting.

The walk took a bit longer than anticipated because of the crowds heading the same way to see the fireworks. When she finally reached Lebreau’s, however, it only took her a second to spot that familiar mop of silver hair.

“Hope?”

He jumped a bit when she touched his arm. “Lightning! Hi. Glad you could make it. Um, can I get you a drink or something...?”

“I’m okay.” She needed to keep her wits about her. “Plus, that line is a little...” A quick glance over her shoulder revealed the crowd practically out the door.

“Must be all us tourists,” Hope said. He seemed a little fidgety, but not really in a way that made her wary. It was the familiar kind of fidgeting.

Nerves.

“Most likely.” She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Oh geez, had she even remembered to brush it? And why the hell did it matter? “I honestly didn’t expect it to be this crowded.”

“Fireworks are a big draw, I guess.”

“Especially these.” Luckily, a lot of the crowds seemed to be condensed in the bar, likely getting refreshments before the show. “Come on, let’s go find a spot before everybody else does.”

“Lead the way.”

They moseyed their way between groups of people – some clearly friends, some couples, some families – until they found a spot close to the dome. “Prime viewing,” she said.

Hope looked up at the dome, a thoughtful expression on his face. “They’ve been doing this a long time, right?” “Yeah. Fifty or so years, I think.” She leaned against at railing – put there to keep people from getting dangerously close to explosives. “It was designed to bring in tourists. A lot of other cities don’t have the means or space, so it was perfect.”

“Definitely. You wouldn’t be able to see much over all the buildings in Palumpolum.” He paused before glancing at Lightning. “...Is it true there’s a local legend about the fireworks?”

She hummed in agreement. It was a pretty silly ‘legend,’ she thought, but a lot of people took stock in it. “Apparently these are wish-granting fireworks. I’ve heard it started because someone won the lottery the day after one of the first times they did this show, but nobody seems to have any record of that.”

“That’s why it’s a legend, I guess.” Hope smiled. “Do you usually make a wish?”

Lightning shrugged. “Usually I’m here working. It doesn’t really seem right to indulge in something like that when you have to be alert.”

“You’re not working now, though,” he pointed out. “Are you going to make one tonight?”

“...I don’t know.” She sighed and stared up at the empty dome, watching the sky grow dark. “Maybe.”

There was a long pause before Hope spoke again. “...My mother went to see these fireworks before I was born.” He spoke quietly and she had to lean in to listen. “She said that she always wanted to take me so I could have a special wish, too.”

A familiar feeling squeezed Lightning’s heart. “Did you two ever get to go?”

He shook his head, leaning against the railing as well. “My dad always had to work and she wanted it to be a family trip. She died when I was fourteen, so we never had the chance.”

She was respectfully quiet for a moment. “I can relate. My mother died when I was fifteen.” She felt rather than saw Hope look at her. “Ever since then, it’s just been me and my sister.”

“Was she at the auction last night?”

“Are you kidding? She’s the one who signed me up in the first place.”

He laughed. “I ought to thank her.”

“Why?”

“Because of her, I get the pleasure of your company.”

Geez, what a far cry from the nerves he’d been emitting earlier. That sort of confidence always piqued Lightning’s interest. Maybe it was because of that that she found herself asking the question that hadn't gotten a real answer last night.

“Why did you bid so much for a date with me?”

Instantly, Hope’s face erupted into a blush. “I, um...”

“Yes?”

“I...I wasn’t planning to,” he finally said after a long pause. “I wasn’t planning on bidding at all. A friend of mine convinced me to go. The charity this year was for Pulse refugees, right?”

“So I heard.”

“My grandparents on my mother’s side were refugees, so I wanted to help. I went through the security and background checks just with the intention of going in there and making a donation.” He ducked his head for a second. “But then I just...”

“...Yes?”

Hope was quiet again, and when he finally spoke, it was in the same quiet voice she had to lean in to hear. “...When you looked at me. It sounds crazy, because I don’t know if you were actually looking at me, but there was just something about you. It was like...like...”

“A spark,” she whispered, her heart thudding wildly.

At this, he fully looked at her in surprise. “Yes. That, exactly. And I heard those other two bidding for a chance to go out with you and I – I don’t know, my hand just moved by itself.”

She grew quiet. It wasn’t much of an explanation, and yet…

Impulsively, she took his hand. Lightning was not a touchy-feely person by nature, so how she knew that this felt strangely right, she couldn’t say. Hope must have felt the same, because he didn’t hesitate to lace their fingers together, although he looked shocked at himself for doing such a thing.

“...I was looking at you.”

He’d been staring at their joined hands, but when she spoke, he met her eyes. “You were?”

“Yes.” Vaguely, she heard the crowd’s murmurs grow a bit louder, the thrill of anticipation suddenly in the air, but all she could see was him. “I don’t know how or why, but I spotted you in the crowd, and for a second, it was just...”

“...Sparks,” he echoed.

She merely nodded. The two of them stood there staring at each other, their hands joined. Was this fate, brought on by a chance stare across a crowd and one-hundred thousand gil? Lightning wasn’t sure.

But the more she stared at him, the more that spark began to ignite. It was like nothing she’d ever felt around anyone before, and while there was something terrifying about it, it was also thrilling. This wasn’t the thrill of battle or a successful mission, but something soft and human.

And when they got closer, it was pure -

“ - Fireworks,” she murmured, right before there was a long whistle and a colorful blast lit up the dome.

They both looked away for a minute to watch the show, each second more colorful than the last, but soon their eyes met again.

“Are you going to make a wish?” she asked.

Hope looked back up at the dome, the colors of the fireworks reflected in his eyes. He was smiling nervously when he looked back at Lightning. “It seems selfish of me to wish for anything more, but there is one I’d like to make.”

“Oh?”

She wondered if it was the same one she wanted to make. When he lifted a hand to her waist to pull her closer, she knew they were one in the same. They didn’t even have to wish for it.

Even though she had no practice with anything like this, Lightning somehow instinctively angled her head, her eyes fluttering shut just as Hope’s lips pressed against hers in a sweet, amazing kiss, one that was a promise worth far more than one-hundred thousand gil.

And with it, those sparks between them exploded like fireworks, beautiful and perfect.

In the midst of it all, the Corps member assigned to check in on Sergeant Farron and her date finally found the two near the dome. The fireworks exploded in picture-perfect formations behind them, but the two were lost in a world of their own. He almost interrupted, just to follow protocol, but then backed away with a grin. Someone had to hear the good news!

Surely Sergeant Farron’s sister was around here somewhere...

#hoperaisufe #hopelight #hoperai #hopurai #hopelight fic #alskdjf;lwiejf;lwiejf #i've had this idea planned out in my head for like #two months or something #so of course i didn't finish it til 2 this morning 8)))))))))))))#alskjdf;lwiejf #which explains why the ending might feel a bit rushed???#but whatever i think it's okay #HOW DID I DO THIS #NOBODY KNOWS~#plz enjoy i have another one coming on sunday

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robot-unicorn-attack · 5 years

Text

alicia’s plotting ideas/notes??

SNOW (MARIVANA)

ideas & stuff!! feel free to message me either here or on urstyle or wherever else u have me, or comment directly on this post, to plot! ill put finalized notes w/ rest of snow’s info once we have it down :)

Sky - so since seraphina’s a newer racer, she and marivana don’t know each other super well? but they’re almost complete opposites, in terms of like racing specialties, and marivana doesn’t feel threatened by seraphina in any way. she probably keeps her distance whenever they aren’t doing things their agency has sent them on?

It would be kind of fun to say that maybe, as a publicity stunt, twilight’s official statement is that snow has been mentoring sky behind the scenes?

and they have to pretend that’s true, even though it’s not lol

LOL but it would be funny if one day marivana showed up at the track while seraphina was doing stuff and was just like, “so twilight wants me to teach you something that makes it look like i’ve actually been helping u. u free atm?”

but overall I don’t think marivana has too many strong opinions about seraphina, unless we want to create some kind of drama?

Ice - premade; tbd

Supernova - Marivana is…pretty indifferent? when it comes to Supernova. She knows who she is and what she’s done, of course-who doesn’t?-but if you think that she’d be starstruck and/or falling over herself when Supernova’s around her…well, you’d be wrong. Marivana’s had multiple trusted parties tell her that she’s just as good as Supernova was, at her peak, so she knows that she’s not a threat-for now, at least. Marivana’s a bit wary of the other racer, but also a bit curious to see as to where this comeback will lead.

So, depending on how much of the wedding and divorce was public....Marivana def would remember 1) the wedding, and 2) not giving a shit about it

The 2 of them have raced together, right at the very beginning of Marivana’s career? like 10+ years ago? and if As even remembers all that girly snow princess stuff, she could be like “lmao so twilight really pulled a 180 on her”

AHHHH so I know I never made this explicitly clear because I suck as a human being but - the deal with unicorns is that agencies/manufacturers/etc say that they’re just robots? agencies probably actually believe it, but in terms of the manufacturers they might be vaguely aware of otherwise but also don’t want to jeopardize any profits so they keep that shit on the DL

but obviously for ppl like Mari/As who have been riding for p much their entire life, they can tell when horses are distressed, happy/content, etc?

and robot unicorns are basically horses in terms of how sentient they are?

so i have no fucking idea when this would happen, but the 2 of them mutually acknowledging that RUR is pretty fucked up for the unicorns?

also like....IT WOULD BE SO CUTE if the two of them sort of rolled their eyes at the same time about some kind of story regarding another rando racer who quit maybe a lil after As did (so the newer racers aren’t familiar with her)? and then they realize that they both rolled their eyes at the same time LOL

honestly just being Tired Grandmas together

anyway. @interluxetumbra LMK what u think!!!

Sunbeam - tbd

Flower - Marivana knows exactly what 𝑅 𝐼 𝒮 𝐸 is pulling with Flower (her own agency did the same thing to her, after all), and she is not fooled at all. She’s not stupid; in the robot unicorn racing industry, nobody is completely, utterly unknown when they debut unless they had no prior experience with robot horses/unicorns in the past. Marivana knows that Flower probably had to work her butt off to stay with 𝑅 𝐼 𝒮 𝐸, and she would bet her right hand that the image that Flower puts out to the public is just that - an image.

*chanting* AURIVANA AURIVANA AURIVANA

is the lil club plot we have how they meet/1st time they actually talk 2 ea other????

speaking of which - how do we want to write that? collab in a gdoc???

& then they just keep coincidentally running into ea other randomly????

aura saying something super Flower-esque and marivana just rolling her eyes and being like, “ok great now tell me what you really think about __” ??? lol

aura somehow discovering that marivana is into BOTANY, of all things????

maybe this is when she makes some sort of dry remark about the bio for Flower on the RISE website? “[Flower] grew up in a lush green meadow, hidden away from prying eyes by miles and miles of ice. How Flower managed to get the ice to melt for long enough to plant flowers and trees will always be a mystery.” and marivana’s like “lol magic my ass there’s literally no fucking way”

she explains it with a good amount of scientific jargon thrown in and aura’s just like watttttttttttttt :0000

literally hit me up ANYTIME i already adore them

also - their aesthetics as racers? put together? a+++++++++

OMG THIS IS LIKE WAY IN THE FUTURE BUT LIKE, we should say that their secret relationship somehow ends up going public for the ~drama~??? and instead of being super freaking pissed off, both of their agencies are just like “lmao okay ice queen x fairy princess? best ship” and use it for publicity?????

Flame - Marivana knows about 1) the image that she projects, and 2) that this image is pretty true to who Flame really is, for the most part. Her verdict? Flame could prove to be annoying, if she gets relevant while Marivana is still in the industry as a racer. Marivana doesn’t know what life not racing would be like, but she’s well-aware that she’s the oldest racer out there (well, besides Supernova, who doesn’t count. She’s making a comeback, after all), and that retirement is probably not too far out in her future. So, if Flame is still around within the next 5-10 years, then Marivana might start worrying about her. For now, she’s just the irritating racer with ʟᴀᴢᴇʀ who won’t ever stop causing a scene.

So they haven’t really interacted much yet, do we wanna say?

they’re wary of each other because both their unicorns specialize in high power/strength so they’re like, more directly in competition?

are they going to engage in the RUA equivalent of a twitter fight??? in a publicity stunt that both of their agencies are putting on?

maybe snow has once insulted kehlani in an interview??? though it was fake/staged/scripted by her agency so she doesn’t actaully feel that way but ya know. doin it for the vine

and kehlani responds in kind, maybe at the behest of lazer, maybe not?. and it just keeps going???

but ya, marivana prob finds her personality kinda annoying so would generally avoid her unless kehlani approached first

Nyx - so like, snow probably thinks sol is way too flashy and all over the place, & does not engage her ever? she knows of the rumors of foul play, ofc, b/c who doesn’t, but she assumes that the rumors are super blown out of proportion (as rumors tend to be)?? and snow knows that if sol ever tries to target her/other ice world racers specifically, twilight will literally strong-arm lazer into dropping her. so she’s not that worried about that stuff????

definitely thinks her razor-sharp precision with U-800 is something to be admired, though, even if it’s not the flashiest skill like dressage or speed

OMG LOL spoiler alert but the 2nd event is a race on lava world, so they’re all on the main LW training/practice facilities in the days leading up to the race???? and we TOTALLY need to have them do that weirdly super aggressive staredown/pre-game smack talk sesh that they do in super extra sports anime LOL

Widowmaker - snow’s heard of her, knows of her, has competed against her, but since they both tend to keep to themselves they haven’t really talked? it could be potentially cool if eleni guessed about/found out about what actually happened with marivana’s 1st unicorn?? OMG DRAMA but what if she actually knew of the armed thief? who was on ice world for whatever reason lmfao we can hand-wave it. bonus points if she’s pissed that 1st unicorn killed the person?????????? lol

and it could be POTENTIALLY FUN to write a scene with them where eleni basically calls her out on the fact that, yeah marivana fucking hates twilight for deactivating the first unicorn so why tf does she still race for them/earn them so much money???

also marivana has literally no retirement plans atm so.....i have NO FREAKING IDEA if this would ever be possible or not, but if she somehow?? gets involved? with the people who wanna fuck up TEF govt for not giving a single shit about black hole ??? ? ??? ?? thru eleni????????//

idk dude feel free to just be like “lmao alicia that would never happen” if it feels too OOC!!! it’s also like 4 am & i’m only half coherent so ;D

but i literally have no idea in what context the calling out would be in!!! maybe if marivana saw some top sekrit info that eleni might have access to and was like “i won’t tell anyone at TWILIGHT if you tell me why you have this”? and eleni is like *eyeroll* “not like u have any reason to like ur agency”

Taglist: @ayzrules @bebemoon @jay-swagsby @filthysoulls @shiftyprincess @kzombi3 @now-on-elissastillstands

#plotting #snow #marivana #this is....so incoherent #and i am sorry #racers #writing #i guess??? lol

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sarut-vongchaisit-blog · 4 years

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Field Journal

9/15/19 Week 3

My location is the Grove at the University of Mississippi. The reason I chose the Grove is because the Grove is where I spend most of my time at the University of Mississippi campus. In my opinion, I think that the Grove is a perfect place to hangout with friends between classes. Usually right between class Iove to find a spot for me to hang out under the big trees. While I’m at the Grove, I can get a lot of my school work done. Not only I can get school work done while I’m at the Grove, but also the Grove make me relax and get my mind off school even though I’m still on campus.

Also, I always love to spend time outdoors. As I remember since I was in kindergarten, I always participate in outdoor activities. I just like any activities that make me sweat. Right now I am currently a member of the Ole Miss men golf team. So I always spend most of my time practicing outdoors even when the weather is bad outside. I just love spending time outdoors, sometimes being outside makes me more calm and relaxed. Also since I came to the State, most of my friends tried to convince me to go hunt with them, but I just never like thinking about hunting. Until, I finally decide to get out of my comfort zone and try hunting. That chance everything, I end up having a good time while I was hunting.

Have I kept a journal before? I never kept a journal before for my personal daily life, but I have kept a journal before for a class assignment. I just never see a purpose of keeping a journal. However, I always write down my goals in golf and in school. I always set an expectation for myself and learn from my mistakes. If you count this as a journal then yes I have kept a journal before.

9/29/19 Week 5

As weeks gone by I still here at the Grove. The grass here at the Grove are starting to turn brown, because of all the tailgate at the Grove. It has been 3 week in the roll that the Ole Miss football team play at Vaught Hemingway Stadium. The Grove had been pretty busy in the last couple weeks. People from all over the country come to this amazing place to cheer for their football team. Last week when the Ole Miss football team play Berkeley Cal at home, I’m so surprised how many Cal fans show up on Saturday. They traveled all the way from California to Oxford Mississippi to have a great time at the Grove and the football game. The couple things that surprise me about the Grove is that how the Grove look so different when their are no tailgate going on and when people are tailgating at the Grove. As my coach said “ The Grove are completely different man on Saturday during the fall season.” Somehow the Grove looks so much bigger while the tailgate party are going on. This week the Grove can finally have a break from tailgate party, and hopefully the grass can grow green again. However, this weekend still gonna be a big weekend for Ole Miss football team where they play at the University of Alabama. Let go REBS!

10/13 Week 7

This week at the Grove we have a week off because the Ole Miss football team going to play against Missouri at Faurot Field at Memorial Stadium. So hopefully we gonna play well against and get that away win. Unfortunately, this week I was not able to go to the Grove due to golf tournament. This week my schedule is going to be crazy. Due to travel with the golf team, so I am going to miss the whole week of school. This week we are going to play two tournaments in a row. The first tournament, we will compete in Birmingham Alabama, and the second tournament we will compete in Johnson City Tennessee. However, I did spend some time at the Grove last week before. Last week the weather in Oxford Mississippi started to drop. The temperature started to drop from mid 80 to around mid 70 fahrenheit. I have noticed that the leaves from the tree started to change color. Also, I notice that there were more squirrels running around more often than not. I am not sure that have to do with temperature changing or it was just coincidental. I did not know this before that the Grove are also known for home to many squirrels. The squirrels are very adorable animals, and the squirrels here at the Grove are not afraid of people around the Grove. It feels like the squirrels are used to see many people around, so the squirrels are just run around and do their own things.

10/27 Week 9

The past two weeks I have been thinking about the squirrels at the Grove. Everytime when I walk through or sat at the Grove I would saw at least one or two squirrels running around. However, during the tailgate party before the football game, I never saw any squirrels running around at all. Maybe I just never notice or there is too much going on at the Grove and the squirrels are too small for me to notice them. So that made me think where would the squirrels be during this time. So I assume that the squirrels would be on top of the tree because there are too many people at the Grove. However, there are many foods and snacks all over the Grove. So I would assume that the squirrels would be inside the tents and try to steal some food and snacks. So this past weekend when we play Texas A&M at Vaught Hemingway Stadium, I try to look out for the squirrels at the Grove. When I went to the Grove before the game, the Grove was very crowded. The Grove was so crowded that I does not have any space to walk property. All I can see on the walkway is get people and tents. So I would not expect to see any squirrels running around today, because they would get stepped on in a second. Nevertheless, I still have some hope for me to see at least one squirrel, because there are so many foods and snacks out so that makes me think that the squirrels could attend to steal some food. However, I never saw a single squirrels out.

11/3 Week 10

This week is another weekend that the Ole Miss football team does not play at home, but we are back in action against Auburn University. Last week was a bye week for us, so the Ole Miss football team have a week off. So this week the Grove get an opportunity to recover from Texas A&M weekend, but I don’t think that the grass at the grove are going to recover. This time of the year the grass not going to grow because the temperature is decreasing and the temperature are not going to increase anytime soon, not until March or April. So that me think about how much money the University spend for the Grove. To think about it, it a lot of money the university spends for that amount of money of the Grove to only look good only in summer and early fall. I am pretty sure the university put on new grass at the grove once a year, when the temperature started to get warmer. So they would start laying down new grass around March. By April or May the Grove are going to be nice and green, and this time would be the perfect time to grab the picnic blanket and lay down under these big trees. However, right now we are far from seeing the Grove nice and green. As the temperature drops, that make me think how the squirrels at the Grove survive the cold weather. I saw a picture of a Squirrel at the Grove freeze to death before. So I hope this year I do see any more of those pictures again.

11/10 Week 11

This week had been very stressful week for me. As we are a step closer to Thanksgiving break. Due to that reason I have many tests coming up this week and next week. Every now and then after class for during my free time I would go to the Grove and relax. The reason, I did not go to the Grove that often because the weather had been very cold and raining lately. However, this week is different, I actually need some time off from staring at papers and books. So this week I actually spend more time at the Grove to open my eyes to the beauty of the University of Mississippi Campus and clear my mind. Even though it was fairly cold out, but I still think it was worth it to spend time out. One thing that I learn from spending time outdoors is, I really understand more about the natural environment when I am outside with the natural. So usually when I am out at the Grove trying to clear my mind, I would listen to music and enjoy the natural beauty around my surroundings. This past Tuesday when I was sitting at the picnic table at the Grove with a bag of potato chips. Then one squirrel came out of nowhere and then started wandering me. It was like this squirrel smell the potato chip from far away. So I decide to just stare squirrel, but this squirrel are not scared of me at all. The squirrel just keep getting closer to me, so I decided to feed this potato chip to this squirrel. At first I did not expect the squirrel to eat the potato chip, but this squirrel end up eating that the potato chips. Also I was kinda scared that the squirrel would take the whole bag of potato chip, but this squirrel end up eating couple chips.

11/24 Week 13

This is our last week before Thanksgiving break. As we are getting close to the end of the year, the weather starts getting very unpredictable. This week the weather has been very strange. Since the weather was so cold last couple weeks her in Oxford Mississippi, I was not expecting the temperature to get higher again. Earlier this week the weather was perfect, the temperature was between low 50 degrees and high 60 degrees. As the week gone by the temperature drop a little but massive rain storm by. It rained the whole day and night on Thursday November 21 2019. It was a perfect day to stay indoors. As the result of rain, the Grove were soaked with water. There were puddles of water everywhere around the Grove, so I did not spend any time this week at the Grove. However, last week it was the last time of the year where the football going to be play at Vaught Hemingway Stadium this year. That means that this is going to be the last time there will be a tailgate party at the Grove for this year. I think this is going to be good for the Grove because pretty much all the grass at the Grove are dead. The Grove are pretty much just a dirt and mud. I do not think that the grass is not going to grow back, so pretty much the gardener need to plant new grass. After that the Grove are going to be beautiful again.

12/5 Week 15

This week is finally I have been waiting for a while now. The last week of class and then next week is finals exam week.I just can't believe it how this semester had gone by so fast. The Grove at the University of Mississippi have not disappoint me at all this semester. The Grove is the site that I choose for this Field Journal. The reason I chose the Grove is because the Grove is the place I spend majority of my time on campus at the Grove, and I love to hangout at the Grove. Also the Grove always offer different feeling when I was there, especially during the college football season. The Grove seem so much different when there are tailgate party going on and when there are no tailgate party going on. In addition, during one early Saturday morning around 7am before the tailgate party starts, I decide to go for a jog around the Grove. The Grove was totally different scene, it was like the claim before the storm. So I would say that the Grove can offer different scene even though I have been there so many times.

Do you see it similarly or differently now that the assignment is completed? I think that I will still go to see the Grove similarly as I saw visit the Grove for the first time. Usually I am a pretty suspicious person, So I always notice what my surrounding. Even before we start working on this assignment, I always look at the trees at the grove and look for what difference from what it was like last time I was here. How was the assignment a challenge for you as a writer? First of all, personally I am not a big fan of the concept of writing a paper or journal, also specially writing in english. English is my second language, so I always struggle to write a solid essay. However, for this assignment it was a little challenging to me because sometimes when I was writing a journal I know what to type it down in my computer but I don’t know how to word it property. Or sometimes I just got confused with myself on what I am talking about in the Field journal. Even though sometimes I struggled to write a journal, but I think that this assignment helped me grow as a writer and as a student. I always learn from my mistakes and improve for the next writing assignment. This assignment makes me see some different perspective of natural that I would never have thought of before or seen before. Even though I think I am pretty suspicious person, but this assignment makes me even more suspicious. This assignment makes me think more about natural and care more about them.

Did your assignment affect your experience of taking an online course? If so, how? I never took an online class before, so I do not know what to expect from an online class. However, this assignment make me spend more time outdoors, and think more about the natural environment. Also this assignment make me spend some time off from school so I can just hang out at the grove.

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thedistrictsleepsalonetonight · 6 years

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How to fall in love the wrong way

Chapter 8: She’s the kind of girl who’s in my thoughts all night

My dearest Cheryl,

I don’t usually do this sort of thing. I am pretty sure that if Sweet Pea and Fogarty ever find out about this, I am doomed. They will tease me to my grave, and their laughter would haunt me forever. And that is why this will probably never see the light of day. I am going to write this letter, and then stuff it into a locked box, and throw it under my bed where it will hopefully never be found by my uncle.

Anyways, I have dithered about long enough. Let’s get down to business. I have never written a love letter before, (or so I’ve mentioned in the previous paragraph), so I am not sure of the logistics, but I assume it includes a flattering description of your love’s physical features, mental faculties, and how it all makes you feel. So let’s start somewhere there.

So, I could write sonnets about your beauty and novels about your face, but thing is, you don’t need to be told that. You know exactly how beautiful you are. I mean, sure your face is perfect, and your nose is the cutest thing I have ever seen, and your eyes are the stars guiding me home and blah, but what’s the need? You could describe your face way better than I ever can. Just know that you are the prettiest person in the world to me. I feel like that’s enough.

But your beauty, while divine, is not all that attracted me to you. There is just something about you, Cheryl. How strong you are, how fiercely independent, how brave. I know you don’t believe it yourself, but there’s a lot of good in you. You try not to show it to people, but you’re amazing. You’re smart, and you’re funny, and I wish other people could see that in you too.

Cheryl Blossom, you’re absolutely sensational.

I suppose that brings us to an end of this section. Now, there is something else I’d like to add. I’d like to add my resume here, to sell myself, so there’s a chance of you choosing me, even If you are way out of my league.

I am a serpent. That ought to say that I am pretty badass. No matter how many stories Fangs tells you of me standing on one chair for an entire day because there was supposedly a rat in the room.

I can play the ukulele. And while my voice is horrible, I suppose it’s a nice thing to have a girlfriend who will serenade you all the time. Because seriously, I will.

I know you. I know about your embarrassing childhood spill-ups and your marks, and that one goth phase in middle school that lasted a month. I know all of these. And I would love to know more.

I am tiny, but I will love you and protect you all the time. That is a promise.

Anyway, I have rambled on long enough. Thank you for bearing with me throughout all this.

Yours, eternally

Toni

“It’s okay, you can come out now,” Cheryl tells her.

She hears it as if from very far away, which she supposes makes sense because her head is buried under two cushions, and her girlfriend’s arm. She slowly takes them off, and, still grimacing from embarrassment, chances a look at Cheryl’s face. Which isn’t so bad. The girl is absolutely glowing; her cheeks are bright red, and she’s wearing the widest smile ever. She slowly shifts onto Cheryl’s lap.

“Okay, now that the torture is over, can I have this back?”

“Absolutely not!” Cheryl tells her, sternly “I’m keeping this till the end of eternity. Which, coincidentally, is the amount of time you’ll be mine. Just saying.”

Toni groans.

“Did you like it, though?” she asks, then.

Cheryl’s expression softens from mirth to something tenderer “I loved it. I love you. Thank you for writing this. It’s amazing.”

Toni ducks her head in an ‘Aw Shucks’, kind of way and waves it away “Eh, it’s……whatever. No big deal.”

“When did you write this, though? There’s no date on it.”

She thinks for a while “Uh, I think it was the first time I serenaded you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, yeah. This one, I definitely wrote right after that.”

Cheryl kisses her cheek, and then frowns at her “Wait, did you say this one?”

Uh oh.

“Toni, are there more!?”

********************

The night of the serenade is a funny story.

Mostly because it also is The night of a Fangs and Sweet Pea and Toni adventure and The night of the human pyramid and The night of Archie doing something stupid and Veronica somehow enabling it even more and Jughead trying to be all brooding and unaffected as always and Betty making everything ten times worse and funnier. Either way, you know, it’s a fun night.

It starts with the jukebox.

Which is ironical, since the jukebox doesn’t start.

********************

“Baby, no.”

“But, Cheryl.”

“No means no, buddy,” Fangs cuts in “We’ve told you multiple times it’s a terrible joke.”

********************

So, the jukebox isn’t starting at the Whyte Wyrm, and they’ve all taken turns smashing on the metal cover but the sound fizzles out after a while, and that’s when Archie has the bright idea of entertaining the patrons by singing some songs.

Veronica joins in and they end up doing a terrible duet of the High School Musical song which only the drunk biker dudes from out of town appreciate. Jughead spends the entire evening roasting them. Finally, Veronica has had enough, and challenges him to sing. Which, obviously, Betty takes over. Then she, does a terrible version of Teenage Dream, and another terrible three way group song with Archie and Veronica. In the end, it’s just Toni and Fangs and Sweet Pea and Jughead staring at each other in despair.

Talk somehow shifts to the topic of music, does a jump to the subject of romantic music, and before she knows it, Toni has, in a weird game of Truth and Dare, somehow agreed to serenade Cheryl Blossom.

Veronica voices the only concern that exists “Isn’t her mom, like legit insane? How the fuck are we supposed to make a ruckus in her house?”

And Cheryl feels relieved for a moment, right until Fogarty opens his big fat mouth “Her mom’s out of town, dude,” he says “Got this thing.”

“How do you know?”

He just looks at Toni and everyone nods in understanding.

********************

“I hope you know that this is ridiculous,” she tells the entire group, half an hour later as she’s sitting on Sweets’ lap, who is stuffed in the middle of Jughead and Veronica. Archie’s driving, and Betty is drifting off to sleep on the passenger’s seat beside him. Fangs is crouched in the back of the van.

“What’s so ridiculous about joining two souls in eternal union?” Veronica asks her.

“Oh my God, is that what it is? Are you……shipping us?” Toni asks her, in utter disbelief, and there are three simultaneous snort, one from Jughead, Sweets and Fangs.

“Everybody in the school ships you, dude,” Fangs tells her.

“It’s true,” Archie chips in “Ever since you’ve started hanging out with her, Cheryl’s mellowed. Like, a lot.”

“And you guys would be so cute together,” Veronica gushes “Like, if this was a TV show, you’d deserve to be the couple in focus, no questions asked. Every scene would be you. Every song would be you. Every duet would be you. Every….”

“We get it, Veronica,” Jughead pipes up, quiet yet amused “They are your babies.”

Veronica agrees, and Toni closes her eyes, wishes for this nightmare to be over.

********************

Of course it isn’t.

Veronica and Archie are still singing their terrible duet, as they cross the garden. Jughead is half-supporting, half-carrying Betty, who’s mostly asleep. Sweet Pea is still nursing his bottle, and they are all so, terribly, terribly drunk. Oh, and Fangs somehow manages to ruin the rose plants growing at the edge of the fence as they are breaking it, but falling on them. Then, he squeals like a little girl who has just discovered that Ken is gay.

********************

“I did not squeal.”

“The thorns are on my butt, guys, help me,” Sweet Pea mimics a high-pitched voice, and all of them laugh.

********************

“Juliet, Juliet, wherefore art thou?” Archie and Veronica shout up at the window, trying to hit it with tiny pebbles (Only one of them hits the mark) “Your Romeo is here to drop a verse.”

There is a sound, then Cheryl is out on the balcony, looking the most confused anyone has ever seen her “Andrews? What the hell?”

(And Toni knows this is totally not the time, that she has to do something potentially very embarrassing and stupid, but Cheryl looks adorable, hair all mussed up, and eyes squinting, wearing a green nightgown that has mice on it)

(Toni has never been more in love)

“My babies!” Veronica sighs, and that’s when Cheryl notices the rest of them.

“What are you people doing here in the middle of the night? Toni?”

She stares at Cheryl for a minute, deciding how to scream her explanation. The, deciding against it, she recruits Fangs (who is still whining about his butt) and Sweet Pea to bend so she can climb up on them. It takes fifteen minutes, one broken wine bottle, and three rounds of exasperated sighs from the rest of the audience before she can finally get up on the balcony.

“Surprise?” she says, feebly.

“Why are you here? What’s going on? Why does Veronica keep staring at us like we’re her long-lost daughters? Why do you have that ukulele with you?”

“Um, truth or dare. A stupid dare. Because she ships us. And” Toni says, concentrating “I have to sing you a song?”

“Um.”

“It’s a dare,” she explains, blushing.

Cheryl keeps staring at her in silence, so she carefully wears the ukulele, and starts playing the opening chords of “Can’t help falling in love with you”. She tries not to look at Cheryl’s face, during, too embarrassed, instead concentrating on the chords and how not to let her voice fade away. Finally ending it, she chances a look up at the other girl.

Cheryl’s mouth is pursed, but Toni can clearly see that it’s an attempt to mask her smile. She looks a little red around the cheeks, and though her arms are crossed, she isn’t angry at all.

“So…..that was it,” Toni breaks the silence that has fallen over them.

“That was it,” Cheryl replies, a slight smile on her lips.

“You’re not, angry?”

The smile widens, and before Toni has time to think, Cheryl is right in front of her. She leans around, and gently kisses Toni on the cheek. There is a loud ‘Whoop’ from down below, and Toni knows they’re being complete idiots right now, but it doesn’t matter, because she is also being a complete idiot right now.

“No, Toni,” Cheryl says “I’m not angry.”

Then she walks back into her own room.

Chapter title from Forever by The Explorer's club

Song mentioned in the chapter: Can't help falling in love with you by Elvis Presley covered by Twenty One Pilots

#riverdale choni #choni #choni fic #choni fanfiction #riverdale #riverdale fanfiction #cheryl x toni #toni topaz #cheryl blossom #romance #fanfiction #tumblr fandom

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titleknown · 7 years

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Three Fictional Products

Ahoy ahoy, trying not to be late again this time; I’m doing something relatively unusual for my Saturday Night Writing, not as much a drabble as profiles of three products that never existed; but potentially could have.

I’ve been meaning to do this for ages now, but texecutive dysfunction does as it will, and I’ll do it now by gum! These products can be freely used as one sees fit, no strings attached, though credit me; Thomas F. Johnson if you use ‘em in a work. I’d love to see these weird brands show up as recurring themes

So, without futher ado, tonight’s writing is brought to you by the Pink Wind vaccuum, Blue Moon Soda and Circus Cosmetics, after the break!

Pink Breeze- Fidelio as a vaccuum making company was always an unfortunate case. Their cutting edge use of cyclone filters years before Dyson was hampered by numerous manufacturing difficulties and cost-cutting measures and gimmicks to make them consumer accessible that; more often than not; hampered their overall efficiency as cleaning devices and rendered them prone to breaking; though they were supposedly quite efficient if you could get the damn things to work.

And yet, they still squeaked along for years, managing to sell for a shocking amount for a company with only one model of vaccuum still on the market. But, then, there's the one. Known as the "Pink Breeze," it was meant to be a smaller model of cylander vaccuum meant for dusting fragile items, with a soft; adjustable tip on the nozzle; a dial to alter the level of suction and a rounded; curvy shiny pink configuration meant to resemble an item of furniture. Now, while it was possibly better suited for the task thanks to its use of the company's cyclonic filters, most people didn't see the point of such a specialized product. But, for all its qualities; they were high sellers amongst a male demographic, particularly unmarried; single men.

Yes, all of its factors ended up making the vaccuum accidentally perfect for dick-sucking. Unlike other sex toys, it was buyable in mainstream outlets; with only moderate scruitny from the outside world.

Even the products' legendary shoddiness was little issue, as they were cheap thanks to said cost-cutting measures and most of that fanbase were seemingly okay with shelling out for another model. The CEO; however; was oblivious to the reasons for its cult popularity; only seeing the sales figures. And given his legendary stubbornness and tendency towards conservativism, nobody really wanted to tell him.

The R&D team did; however; secretly take that into account when designing other; secondary products in that line to capitalize on its success; though they enjoyed markedly less thereof; and the product's legendarily-sexualized mascot also known as Pink Breeze was notoriously designed as a joke by the marketing team to see how much implications in that regard they could get away with. The answer was; apparently; "All of it."

Which ended up spawning a fetish art subculture of "Vac-Girls," but that's a whole other story.

The company declined though; as even such an evergreen product can only get one so far in the face of their numerous other failures; and the final death-knell that convinced the owners to sell while they were still viable was the bizarre hovercraft-like vaccum model given the name "Sentinel" but notoriously known as "Old Cat-Eater" and "The Executioner's Hood."

But that's a story for another time.

Blue Moon- Legendary soda-developers the Breulen Brothers; one a flavor scientist and another a product designer, are responsible for some of the greatest "cult hits" amongst soft drinks; whether it be the "DIY" Squash Soda or the enigmatic "Liquid Gold" flavoring agent, but one of their less acclaimed projects was the melatonin-based "Blue Moon" soda, with the blueberry flavoring.

The basic idea was, if there are caffinated sodas meant to keep you awake, why not a soda with a similarly-mild sleep aid to help you go to bed? From there the blueberry flavoring and iconic Man-In-The-Moon logo followed. But, there was a problem. The FDA didn't and still does not allow for the usage of melatonin in items marked as "beverages"

However, the marketing team did get around this in multiple ways. Namely; marketing it as a "suppliment," which just so happened to be advertised like a soda; given its own dispenser adjacent to the other drinks; packaged with other sodas; but carefully worded and advertised so that technically they were not selling it as a soda. Of course, the Brothers did not intend this, intending to market it as a separate item; both to avoid possible adverse combinations with other caffinated beverages and also to establish it as its own "thing," a ritual akin to a nightly equivalent of coffee.

It worked for a shockingly long while too; attracting just the right amount of attention to sell well while still skirting legality. Helped it was damned tasty too. And then the news stories started. Specifically, news stories of various car crashes and accidents induced by the sorts of behaviors that happen when one consumes a beverage that makes one sleepy combined with beverages that make one wide awake.

And, like that, the Brothers were thrown under the bus, despite it not being their idea. The charges were dropped, but their careers were never quite the same.

Of course, there was an "accidental" leak of the product's formula; coincidentally on the same week the Brothers left the company for greener pastures; so there is a small but dedicated following that does make its own "homebrew" of the stuff, so it can be found if one knows where to look.

Circus Cosmetics- The label is somewhat inaccurate, as the cosmetics (Ranging from highlighter to mascara to lipstick to even nail polish) come under a number of different names; sold in low-end stores for cheap prices in low-income areas. They're known by that name due to the largest outbreak of their product under that branding in the Detroit area being under that brand; though other prominent names for it have been reported as Harleqin; Big Top; and Scaramouche

They cause bleaching of the skin; swelling and reddening of the lips; nasal tissue; around the eyes; and of the vocal cords and airways, leaving the victims gasping for air with a distinctive honking noise and causing hallucinations due to deprivation of oxygen not severe enough to kill but severe enough to alter brain activity; resulting in erratic behavior during the affliction and often leaving the victims with permanent skin damage and scarring after recovery. The causes have been identified as likely due to either some bacterial agent often found in samples thereof or a common chemical agent in them; though it has been speculated that it may be due to the interaction of both.

The reason for their continued circulation; despite the numerous outbreaks; is that the FDA is unable to regulate the company that produces it due to it having so many shell subsidiaries that it is impossible to find the "true" producers of such things, though many suspect it is also considered low priority due to the impoverished areas in which these products are found. Multiple fringe religious organizations have been found as donors to these shells through other shells; which has troubling implications.

-As a final word, a lot of these product areas are ones in which I am not truly specialized, so if I have evoked a “THAT IS NOT HOW -X- WORKS!” reaction for those more knowlegable in the subject than me, please contact me and tell me how I can spiff it up!-

#fictional products #fictional product #soda #melatonin #makeup #cosmetics #body horror #weird fiction #THE LIBRARIAN OF BABEL SPEAKS HER WISH BEFORE GOD

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thehonorablejudgewhitey · 7 years

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“With Liberty and Justice for All”

(copious amounts of profanity ahead)

After the initial shock left me numb, then angry, then depressed, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach took over and, funny enough, for a long time I was pissed off not because of what happened, but because it was allowed to happen. I wasn’t even furious with the key players anymore because they’re...well, real life versions of one dimensional characters, they did what they were supposed to do, what they would always do, what everyone knew for a fact they would do. I was mad at The People. The American People. Not at the - we’ll never really know how many - millions which were racist, misogynist, xenophobic, hateful and downright stupid enough to feel that donald was worth a genuine vote, but at the vast majority whom, between Clinton, 3rd party candidates, write -ins (and assorted silliness) didn’t vote for donald. Why was I so mad at these - mainly sane - folks? Because a majority let itself be ruled by a minority with, until recently, barely a peep in protest. Very few people took the fight as seriously as it needed to be taken and where we are today is a result of that.

Had this been a normal, fair election...it would be one thing, but it’s been clear since the start that things were far from an even remotely legitimate deal. The U.S. had bad Presidents before, it also had dumbass Presidents before, look at Bush Jr. who was as sharp as that kid in your nephew’s class who eats all the crayons; Jr., funny enough, found himself down in votes as well, but still “won”. However, and despite that - let’s call it - coincidental similarity, donald is frighteningly different from W. He’s not only ignorant and illiterate, he’s something Bush wasn’t: a vicious sociopath. donald isn’t just unbelievably stupid (and so very proud of his stupidity), he’s not just a loud clown, he is a fucking deranged monster and if you think I’m exaggerating, you haven’t researched him thoroughly enough because his track record will scare the shit out of anyone. The dude truly is criminally insane.

Now, donald supporters will argue till they’re blue in the face that non donald voters are sore losers, “libtards”, “snowflakes” and whatever else colorful little adjectives the not too bright amuse themselves with in order to have something with which to (try to) annoy others and thus, not having to confront their own stupidity. However, recently we’ve learned that not only has the corruption and treason which lead us to this situation been reliably and extensively documented, but also that American intelligence agencies had the information for months...and sat on it. The connections between donald’s minions and the shadiest shit imaginable has been established, foreign intelligence services have been frantically waving their arms in the air, begging US intelligence to, for fuck’s sake, look at their findings regarding very blatant treason...and yet, YET...here we are. Now the public knows all about it and the backlash has been until recently, pretty damn weak. Thankfully the public’s fighting morale picked up in a big way with the women's march, but it’s still a long way from effective. Plus the march was very rightfully so focused on specific topics, but what’s needed is an all out blitz of opposition and protest. For every - single - thing.

A lot contributed to donald’s - LOL - “victory”:

1) partisanship within the agencies (here’s looking at you, Comey)

2) the Russian meddling (through blackmail, money, influence, disinformation, paid trolls, and other endless etc’s)

3) vote tampering (took a shitload of lawyers and some serious bribe showers to keep that one on the low...seriously, look into it and your jaw will drop like an anvil on a road runner cartoon...but apparently, we’ll just ignore outright mathematical impossibilities and documented bribery because that’s the world we live in now)

4) voter suppression, critical in areas with large black communities because the overwhelming majority of black voters weren’t here for this fuckery - especially women, go Ladies, making us proud as always!

5) useless 3rd party voting despite the many, maaaaaaaany warnings not to engage in it because it was so DAMN clear what was gonna go down and people still did it cause stupid reasons no one cares about; how are you enjoying that skinny ass high horse now, fuckers???

6) the utterly shitty job by American news organizations who sucked donald’s lil dick dry for months in the name of ratings and which now are shocked, shocked I tell you!!! that the motherfucker turned on them...who could have possibly seen that one coming,unbelievable!!! And still, STILL they haven’t learned from it, they’re still airing donald’s mental diarrhea verbatim all - the - time, calling racist and xenophobic shit “controversial” and having lap dogs like Crack Barbie Conway talking about goddamn “alternative facts” on national television with a straight face!

7) the impotent and pathetic opposition put up by democrats, I mean seriously folks...some democrats voted in favor of donald’s cabinet members; have you learned nothing from 8 years of republican fuckery? Oppose ALL the things! If it wasn’t for Maxine Waters “fuck you AND this shit” attitude, Tim Kaine’s “I just think it’s funny how...” brand of shade and a few other good folks in there, we could just throw the whole damn party in the trash

8) republicans having been WHIPPED by donald’s cheap reality star popularity which was - sadly - more than enough to outshine the zodiac killer and whoever else they had lying around. Republicans had to drop to their knees for donald and, in exchange, they can pull off a U.S. fire sale like they’ve been aiming for for 8 years now. Make no mistake, there isn’t a terrorist organization in the world which can hold a candle to the American republican party, their business is death and destruction for profit and they excel at it

9) the “slow moving right wing coup” (Maher called it, just before the election), the almost decade long crusade of misinformation and public manipulation through garbage like fox news and breibart through puppets like hannity and kelly. donald’s fake shot at the Presidency would have been impossible without the massive groundwork that came long before he was even considered to be viable enough for this

10) the fact that a lot of folks adored donald’s catchy tune of hate and racism. trump voters didn’t vote for him despite this, they voted because his message was music to their ears. How an uncharismatic, orange, shar-pei looking motherfucker managed to establish a cult of personality would actually be impressive if it wasn’t terrifying.There’s no real “economic angst”, there was no “reaction against the status quo”, nobody wanted to drain no damn “swamp”, the “he tells it like it is” excuse is just that...everything which was used to justify donald’s popularity is utter BULLSHIT. donald got votes because a black Man was President, because women had valid sexual and reproductive health rights, because the LGBT community got basic rights recognized, because Islamophobia is a reality, because black folks were asking not to get killed for sitting and reading a book, or ringing a doorbell asking for help, or buying skittles

and of course, 11) the fact that trump made it totally cool to just go right for any pussy you fancy at any time, i.e. normalized sexual assault. If that doesn’t scream about the rampant engulfment of society in rape culture, I don’t know what does.

Yes, a lot helped donald get to where he is today, but the problem isn’t that this stuff happened, it’s that it was allowed to happen, the beginning of the shitstorm. It’s not like the asshole totally changed his tune overnight; everyone knew he was a risk and still, it was constantly underestimated. Just a few days ago the U.S. was forced to go with a 100% illegitimate President, one planted by a foreign power, under blackmail from that same power, with an estimated 1.5 billion (that’s billion with a B) dollars in debt, making him one of the brokest motherfuckers in the world (and oh boy, is he robbing the Presidency blind already...between selling access to himself and facilitating businesses abroad...), supported by the terrorist hate group formally known as kkk and every filthy, inferior white supremacist around, with a cabinet filled with incompetent, batshit insane, corrupt picks who’ll be responsible for everything from your tax dollars to nuclear weapons - fucking TERRIFYING - and who’s sole job is to burn it to the motherfucking ground and piss on the ash and oh yeah, let’s not ever stop talking about donald’s sex abuse history which includes confessed predatory behavior, strolling through teens changing rooms and rape accusations from minors to his ex wife. You really can’t expect much from a guy who once said “Is it wrong to be more sexually attracted to your own daughter than your wife?”; she was 13 at the time.

So while the rest of the world had been pulling its hair and collectively asking: “What, in the absolute name of FUCK is going on and why is it allowed to continue!?”, most people had been showing indignation...on Twitter, being extremely angry...at home. It took some pretty dark reality checks to shake folks up. The thought of 22 (now some sources say 30+) million Americans losing healthcare brought a few thousand people out, just a few thousands out of 71 million who voted for a different candidate. For months now I and many others have been begging anyone who’ll listen to go out, go beyond the fallacy of sticking solely to hashtag activism and actually act! Before the women’s march injected some much needed life into people, I was met with everything from sheer indifference to a sense of total hopelessness (useless sentiment), but the worst thing so far, the one that really angered me to the fucking core, was the sickeningly common sentence “we can’t do anything about it”. Buying into the fact that you’re powerless, failing to understand that people run the government and not the other way around is the most successful form of oppression ever deployed and let me tell you, there’s nowhere else on earth where it has been applied more successfully than in the US. Politicians running wild knowing there’s 0 accountability for their actions is what motivated the batshit insane last few weeks in which republicans have released a kind of greatest hits of nefarious fuckery which include the sentencing of millions to death or bankruptcy (or both) without health insurance, getting rid of what little oversight they have (though that was over with? Check again...), and paying the bill for donald’s dumbass wall which may be the most ridiculous, useless thing ever made...this kind of distancing between politicians an accountability is why crisis like Flint drag out for years with no resolution - or even interest for a resolution.

It really is a damn tragedy the situation has been allowed to run out of control, so now it’s time to get a handle on the lunacy. Before American women (actually, women everywhere) brought it, a few weeks back, LA and NY showed up early with marches of about 10 thousand people each, the most meaningful actions pre-post-inauguration; some folks burned a couple of trash cans in Portland (and conservatives have been crying out that “the cities are burning!!!” ever since, failing to mention, of course, that rioters are mainly paid elements to create this kind of disruption so people like donald can bitch about it later; see also Washington DC a few days ago) and that’s about it really...So what have we learned? Massive protests, shutting down streets, cities...it’s the only way to go. There needs to be a continuity to the kind of spirit which propelled the women's match. Politicians will never admit it, but they’re terrified of people in large numbers, they may despise voters but they also need them. So this “inauguration”, these disastrous first days, a ridiculous circus which would have been deemed too stupid to be featured in the cheapest of French farces can either mark the end of The American People’s chance to act or the start of a proper, comprehensive uprising. If you were waiting for the inauguration to then push for an impeachment...that won’t fly here, it’s too late for any of the regular democratic processes. Election was illegitimate, electoral college voted illegitimately...relying on this kind of stuff is dead and buried. Keep hearing folks talk about 2020, elections...bless their hearts...even if by some miracle we reach that date, do y'all really think there will ever, EVER be anything remotely close to a free election ever again? With these corrupt fucks in power? Nah, that ship has sailed. donald getting “elected” was what’s called a proof of concept and now, like a cancer, his so called administration will infect every nook and cranny of government, making it impossible to remove. Best case scenario, some key players get kicked out and there’s a chance to start repairing the damage, but the root is firmly planted and there will be massive problems for many years to come because donald and his posse got this far. Plus, external influence is and will continue to be massively powerful; Russia has republicans tightly grabbed by the balls which means all their decisions aren't really their own and that the US is now a satellite state. Cold War era communists would piss themselves in excitement like puppies if they had ever even dared to dream that such a thing could be possible. And the kicker is, the U.S. wasn’t even the main act, it was just a beta test. France and Germany are coming up next, efforts to end NATO and the EU are well on their way and in Europe, stupid people are falling for the same kind of “populism” (aka very poorly disguised racism and xenophobia and other assorted far right ideological diarrhea) that stupid people in America fell for when sprayed by golden boy himself. My faint hope is that a large enough number of Europeans will wake up in time. So far I remain disappointed. Twice now in fairly recent times Europe fucked itself up; soon it will be on its way to a third go. “Those who don’t understand history...” etc.

So here we are, 2017 and worried about world wars, nuclear wars, a Russian empire, nazis and the end of democracy. Ain't that a bitch? The real kicker tho, the part that made me so very pissed off at the reasonable, logic people out there is that the whole thing was so, so, SO very fucking avoidable...we got complacent and lost focus on how vicious the fight was and how vicious we had to be to win it. I love FLOTUS44 to no end but the motto should have been “when they go low, we get a motherfucking club and crack their head open cause they’re already in a convenient position to get bashed and we gotta take these fuckers out, pronto” - not as catchy, but it was the right attitude. To show just how soft and out of touch people have become, this week there’s been a debate about if punching a nazi is wrong. I shit you not! “If” it’s wrong...smh. And even if throwing hands isn’t your thing, all anyone ever really had to do was show up. Right at the start, show up, provide the numbers for “strength in numbers”, be a body in a crowd. Wasn’t hard, wasn’t costly, didn’t need a great deal of planning...call up a couple of friends who in turn call up 2 or 3 more and just...showing up and demanding the most basic legitimacy needed for an election, demanding that a line was drawn between free speech and hate speech, demanding that something as vile as donald and pence and bannon and kushner and flynn and every other piece of shit in the gang wasn’t allowed anywhere near a Presidential election. People knew what was at stake, people saw the democratic processes fail.

Like I said, the key players are predictable, they don’t break character; you know for a fact what they’ll do: donald will always be a sociopathic old perv and act like such; republicans will always be money hungry, moralless whores (and I use that word for the actions themselves, I mean no disrespect to hardworking, honest prostitutes who don’t deserve to be compared to something as disgusting as republicans); white supremacists will always be inferior whiny bitches; and the people who support all these aberrations will always be too fundamentally dense, too goddamn stupid to understand the seven ways till Sunday in which they’re getting fucked while cheering for the ones pounding their ass. But the people who know better, the people who’ve seen this ridiculous charade since the start for what it is and got lost in pointless shit like in house fighting (who had the best candidate cause of reasons) or simply didn’t lift a finger in any serious and meaningful way to try and stop it...they’re ones responsible for the mess being in play. It’s pretty simple: you see a toddler with a gun, you don’t wait till it shoots itself in the damn face, you take the gun away.

So where will we be a little while from now if things don’t change dramatically? Well let me put on my Carnac The Magnificent hat on (a lil something for the kids to Google, take their mind of this whole “we’re all probably gonna die horrible deaths” dealio): Our buddy Vladimir, finding out this shit actually works (whaaaaaat? Long shot win!), will try and succeed with the same model in other countries, Europe will be at war again, a short one because Russia will steamroll resistance as it takes over.NOT looking forward to that. The US will be carved like a thanksgiving turkey; first, the complete demolition of the Obama legacy because, you know, memories of a black Man in office for 8 years won’t do, gotta bulldoze that shit like, yesterday! Remind “the blacks” (as donald says) of their place, make aberrations of the LGBTs again, and fuck this environment shit cause who needs clean air and water when there’s fucking oil to drill, goddamn it!!! However, it won’t be just a gutting of government and liberties and rights, but also of territory. California will be the first to exit, also with - very indirect and covert - Russian backing, NY will follow. Texas will probably join in cause...well, it’s Texas, it’s just itching to shoot at something. The rest of the territory will be as miserable as any third world country. Sadly I won’t get the pleasure of shouting “MAGA!” and laughing my ass off in the face of every single Trump voter while they starve or die from most banal diseases in the book. A true shame. Russia will continue to fund terrorism like it does with ISIS, as well as planning/carrying out terrorist attacks whenever it suits their strategic interests (see Berlin, last Christmas), with donald being ISIS’ greatest poster child for recruitment while his buildings will make for great targets. Convenience! Oh and let’s not forget that in a pre-butchered US, Republicans will still need a war, so expect one. Republicans will also need 9/11 levels of terror, so expect a 2.0 version of that as well.

All of this of course if donald’s alarming mental decay doesn’t throw a wild card in the mix and he just decides: “fuck it, I’ll nuke everything” cause someone sent him a mean tweet. #Sad. And even if by some other wild card donald were to get impeach over prostitutes pissing on him or whatever the fuck else the shithead got recorded doing, the problem would still be the same: compromised government, completely invalid election, proven concept for aspiring global dictator, and resounding triumph of white Amerikkka’s “values”. The only way to do something which means a damn is to go out in force, quickly.

In a week marked by reporters get yelled at, at the White House, over crowd size “alternative facts”, a week in which we find donald had the inauguration pictures photoshoped to make his hands look bigger (what a fucking LOSER. That dick must really be in the micro category, I swear), a week in which the president elect goes nuts with executive orders to, out of pure spite, demolish the Obama legacy (donald is so insanely jealous of 44 that it clouds whatever shred of reason that pea brain of his can still muster) while simultaneously rambling about a blatant lie of millions of illegals voting while people in his goddamn entourage are actually guilty of voter fraud, a miserable week which saw government put a gag order on agencies divulging scientific facts, making them create “rogue” twitter accounts, an alarming week with revelations that staff and golden showers himself use all kinds of unprotected email services, the same thing which haunted Clinton forever without a shred of substance to it and that now, apparently, is totally cool, a sad week in which the megalomaniac embarrassment moved forward with orders to keep women in children stranded in war zones...is a week in which everyone should be planning exactly how seriously they want to contribute to the containment of this situation. personally, I suggest very and as soon as possible.

[This take on things is my own. Will not try to impose it nor debate it]

#the resistance #impeach trump #dump trump #illegitimate #illegitimate POTUS #PEEOTUS #ban trump #resist #resistence #Fuck Donald Trump #dumptrump #impeachtrump

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tiard · 7 years

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Me and The Alien

Hi. It’s been years since the last time I actually write things here, huh?

I’m going to tell you a story tonight. It’s about an alien whom I ended up loving, ehm, so deeply. Or, well… maybe it isn’t love. Maybe it’s just me having no other vocabulary popped in my head to define this feeling I have towards him.

Let’s just assume that he came from Grumpus, a planet located close enough to the sun its people become grumpy because of the sun’s heat. Don’t imagine those kind of aliens you could possibly find in a cheap sci-fi movie because he doesn’t look like that, at all. Honestly, he is a little bit charming. Underline that, a little bit.

To be honest, I don’t really remember the first day that I met him. All I can say now is that it happened in my freshman year, more than two years ago. Later he said it was on some hallway in my campus, but still, I can’t manage to remember it. Yea, yea, I’ll take the blame.

I also didn’t see him coming. We were ‘close’ in all of the sudden, even before I knew it. And the funny thing was when people asked me what was going between me and him, I didn’t even know who the hell he was--yet. I was all clueless.

If I’m not mistaken in recalling my memories, I was in the middle of such a… how to say this, a little bit complicated situation when he ‘came’. My previous relationship was freshly ended in a way far from the nicest one possible, leaving me with several things to clean up. That made me thinking I was so done with boys and their perspective about romantic relationship thereof I started to enjoy the liberty of my own company. I might sound pathetically hyperbolic, but for me, my own self is the best company ever. At least that time.

I wish I have clips showing how we get into each other in the first place on my memory, but–I’m saying this on behalf of my regret–I don’t. So I’ll skip the details about it and… poof, welcome to the we-became-close-then chapter.

I’m not good at describing, let alone impersonating people (it was his hobby instead!), so bear with me if the following descriptions are not helping you to picture him so much.

He is tall. I can say that I’m not the type of girl who judges people, moreover guy, based on their physical appearance--but height, for me, is one crucial aspect. I have a picture of us, taken when we attended a wedding party which coincidentally was on his 20th birthday, where I wore a pair of 5 cm wedges, and still, I was only as tall as his chin–shorty me. And other than his above-the-averages height, he has tan skin, messy hair, big nose, and coffee-colored narrow eyes. Like I said before, he is a little bit charming.

And oh, he has this ‘superpower’ when it comes to eating! I don’t know if the food portion he always has is normal in Grumpus–maybe because its high temperature–but here, on Earth, let alone if it’s compared to mine, his meal portion is enormous. He could wipe a full plate out all by himself and order another one afterwards, plus finishing mine. In some of the times we went for lunch or dinner together, we moved to another place after finish eating in the first one. The thing is, it’s like he is given the blessings to stay skinny despite the amount of food he consumes. I used to persevere that he has worms inside his intestines, but later I tried to accept that maybe it’s just his gift.

My favorite memory of him was happened years ago. I don’t know why this one is kept in the storage of fondest memories in my head because it was actually just a simple, super simple, occurrence.

I had my foot injured that time, because of a ‘little’ traffic accident. That day, I was going to buy some college stuffs (what was it, specifically, I don’t remember) to a place not too far from my campus. I remember it was Friday. We met before this alien went for Friday Prayer and I told him I was about to walk into that place after the Friday Prayer time. He asked me to wait until 4 pm-ish because he had a lab work schedule so he could accompany me after it’s done, but I said I’d still going before that just by myself.

I didn’t straightly go back after I got stuffs that I needed. I always love hardware stores and there’s one in that building, so I went stroll around it. After a while, I got a text from The Alien, asking whether or not I was still there. He said I should have waited him finishing his lab work instead of walking alone and that he was going to catch me up in 15 minutes.

He was really there in 15 minutes. He didn’t admit that he was picking me up. It was because he needed to buy things for himself too in the same place, he said. Maybe it was true, but I didn’t care. Tell me I was too ‘baperan’ (can’t find a proper English term for this), but I was moved.

I never tell anyone (including The Alien himself) this: we might already seem close or whatsoever before, but I didn’t feel the sparks or anything until that Friday noon. Good move, Al (for Alien). Good move.

Another day, we went to watch Fast and Furious 7 (by the time I write this, FF8 is one of the ‘now showing’ on theaters. Gosh, time flies). It was our first Saturday night ‘date’, if I’m not mistaken, yet we weren’t so lucky that the movie wasn’t being played anymore and the tickets for The Avenger–the only tempting movie on the schedule that day–are sold out.

We decided to just strolling around then, but the mall we visited was so crowded. I don’t know why, but I remember he said this; “Why do these people chose to hang out tonight when it is the only free Saturday night that we have among these busy times?”. I even remember the clothes he was wearing; yellowish green polo t-shirt and jeans. I myself wore my purple plaid shirt and grey pants which he commented about. “What kind of pants are you wearing?”, he said.

We ended up having a cup of bubble tea for me and two cups for him in a tea shop and blew out AAA balloons that I bought (don’t ask me why). He said, “In my regular circumstances, if I saw grown ups with no kids blowing up balloons in the place like this, I would definitely judge them”. We spent hours there with our teas and balloons, talking about so many things, having what they called ‘quality time’.

It was after a year, when we finally seriously talked about whatever-it-might-called that was going between us. It was Sunday afternoon, we went to an eatery downtown because the meatball stall we meant to headed (I meant to headed, actually. I’m not usually the one who makes the decision about where to eat but that time he insisted) was closed, and the rain was falling.

I didn’t see that coming, not even a bit, and out of the blue after we ordered the foods, he asked me, “Have I been bad all this time?”

“For what?” I asked back, clueless.

“People said I’ve been bad for not giving you any certainty about what’s going on between us. It’s been more than a year by now.”

I have a friend, a close one, whom I frequently told the stories about The Alien to. She said we were supposed to have an official relationship due to all the time we’ve spent together, and if he didn’t say a word about it without cease, maybe I should strike up the talk. The thing she doesn’t get is I don’t need that kind of bullshit anymore.

I was so done with romantic relationship, to be honest. I was so done that it became such a fear inside my head of having another one. My previous relationships didn’t work out (stating the obvious here, otherwise it wouldn’t mentioned as ‘previous’) just like I said up above, and I hate how it ended in terrible situation. I hate having someone other than my mom and dad excessively tells me what to do, whom to hang out with, blah blah blah. I hate how things could be so dramatic between me and my boyfriend.

I honestly have one bigger reason, but let’s just keep it private. My point is: I’m not digging in that kind of relationship.

And that’s how I answered him, “If by certainty you mean official relationship status, I don’t want any. I don’t need any.”

So we talked more about us for hours. Confessing things, to be precise. Let our feelings emerged to the surface.

It feels good, Al, to finally state that I… love you. Or, yea, whatever it is that I’m feeling for you. That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, Shakespeare once said.

He came to my house for the first time when we both stayed overnight in another campus of my campus (LOL, tell me if you get this) out of town for… how to say this–a business, and we need to get in town a little while. Him, because… well, I don’t remember, but me, because I need to drop my dad’s medicine receipt at home. And (actually this is the main reason) because I just had my friggin monthlies and there’s friggin blood on my friggin pants and I definitely need to change. Other girl could just cover it with their jacket or whatever, stay cool, and continue hitting the road, but I can’t. My insecurities always win.

So he drove me home while I whined along the highway because my period was playing mischievous that it made me feel like my belly was harshly squeezed. He calmed me down, asked “What should I do?” several times, and when he finally understood that nothing could be done even by The President of America when it comes to a girl’s period stomachache, he stopped asking, and held my hand.

The second (and the third, and also the fourth) time he came to my house was on my birthday and two days afterwards. He said he was proud of himself for managing to remember the route to my house and come back without me or even using Google Maps.

And the fifth was when I just went forth from hospital because of upper respiratory tract infection that I had earlier this year (I stay overnight in the hospital for a week). He visited me when I was still in the hospital, together with my other friends, but we didn’t communicate much because I was ‘busy’ talking with another friend. I feel bad, but the fact that he didn’t try to make me stop talking to that friend and start talking to him instead made me feel worse (pardon us but that’s just how a girl’s mind works; your effort matters). I told him then that I was slightly upset about it, but based of what I’ve learned about him for two years, I was kind of not expecting him come again, yet he did. But because I returned home already, he visited me at my house. He asked me what I wanted and I was joking by answered him I want seblak, but that really was what he brought me.

Another thing about The Alien is that he has the tendency to play Casper whenever he is busy. He could disappear for days when he has a lot of stuffs to do, even weeks. I’ve had enough of people saying ‘nobody is really busy, it just depends on what number you are on their priority list’ or ‘if they care, they will make time’ kind of words into my face, yet I always say those words are such a bullshit. Or maybe not, but we are not supposed to be selfish, are we? I mean, I admit that I want to be on his priority list (who doesn’t?), but I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t have a life either and demand him to keep contacting me in the middle of his tight schedule is stupidly childish. And although I honestly don’t know whether I really am on his priority list or not, he is, on mine. I couldn’t help him finish his assignments or solve his other problems no matter how I always want to, so giving him space is the least that I could do.

But I have to admit that it doesn’t mean I’ve never been bothered by that. No matter how perfect I act like I’m fine with that, deep down I actually hoping that I could be involved in whatever it is he is facing. I want to be there for him not only through his ups but also his downs because I honestly want him to be that way too. I always want to open up to him about whatever problem that I’m having, but it’s just unfair if I burden him with my things, whereas he never do that to me. Maybe that’s just the Grumpus people’s way of dealing with hard times, so I’ll deal with it.

There were weeks back then when he disappeared longer than ever before coincide with my own tough times. He was all that I need yet he wasn’t there. Sum up all the cries I regularly have in a year, my cries those weeks were more than that. I cried over the problems I was having and I also cried over him. I cried so hard in the headquarter of my student association. I cried when I was having lunch with my friends (if you happened to be Benhard Saut Tahi, don’t laugh on this). I cried on my way back home after classes. I cried before I went to bed. Suddenly I was a broken faucet.

I missed him and I wanted to tell him things, but I didn’t want to disturb him at the same time. Until when it was more than the longest time of his disappearance before, I thought I’ve lost him. Not to another girl (I was positive about this because I was pretty sure he wasn’t the cheater type), but still, it hurts.

I was so relieved that I had to hold down my tears of joy when he finally came back after almost a month. I didn’t even care that he didn’t say the ‘sorry’ word, I didn’t need that anyway. I needed him.

Talking about the ‘sorry’ word, there was an upturn. Not so long ago, he played the Casper game again, although this time was only for three days (or four, I don’t really remember). Then, we went for a movie, and he said, “I have something to tell you after this,”

I was so sleepy after three hours watching (the movie itself wasn’t boring but it was late night already) and started to whine about going home ASAP, so he said that he would tell me the thing later when I’m more ‘sober’, but anyone shouldn’t mess with me when my battery is only about 5% left. I insisted him to tell me right at the moment and boom, he apologized for his recent four-day Casper game.

The Alien also has the tendency to speak using high pitch to basically everyone. Not because he is angry, but simply because it’s the nature of Grumpus people. I’m okay with that most of the times (I’ve started to remind him that yelling is not a good way of talking to people on Earth just so nobody who doesn’t really know him wouldn’t get him wrong, though), but I got mad at him for that twice, probably because I was having the annoying pre-menstruation syndrome so my temper itself wasn’t really in a good state.

The first time was after we went someplace I already forgot by now nearly two years ago. We used my motorbike and he held the key thereafter, but he left it when he prayed. He said he would take it after he prayed, so I waited, yet it turned out that he asked me after finishing the prayer, loudly and with peevish face, “Why haven’t you take the keys?” as if it was me who said “I’ll take it later” when it was him who did, as if I was wrong for waiting him instead of taking the key. I was shocked and upset that I just stared at him for a second and left to take the key.

He recognized me being mad and chased me, but I didn’t stop walking. He came to where I angrily sat after a moment and apologized. It was a long ago yet I still remember his every words.

“Tir, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. You know it’s just the way I am.”

The second time was the other day. Two days before that, he drove our friend’s car (I was with him) and had a little accident which caused its front bumper detached. The only authorized service station for that car brand where damages to the car body can be fixed is located in a faraway part of the town, and he asked me to accompany him dropping the car off there.

We went back to our campus from the service station using public transportation and walked after the second car that we rode. I asked him, in normal tones, whether we need to take another ride or not, and out of my expectation, he yelled at me, saying it was obvious that we were not.

I stopped walking, taken aback because of his high pitch. I should have known that it’s just his Grumpus habit, but I was so exhausted after two hours in public transportation that I didn’t take it easy. He realized what has he done wrong faster that the previous one this time and immediately apologized, even sounded more regretful when I started crying. I didn’t mean to, but again, I was having period… so yea, that’s why.

He’s not a perfect person… or, well, alien. He has flaws, he made mistakes. But it was never perfection which made me fall for him since day one even until this very second. It was… him. Just like a part in Austin Mahone’s ‘All I Ever Need’;

When it comes to you Baby, I’m addicted You’re like a drug, no rehab can fix it I think you’re perfect, baby, even with your flaws You ask what I like about you Ooh, I love it all

I love everything about him. Well, maybe I just haven’t found the thing that I might dislike about him yet, but basically, yes, I love his every way of everything. I love the way he laughs, the way he walks, the way he eats. The way he tells some terrible jokes or makes some stupid gestures and stares at me afterwards, hoping that I notice him. The way he opens the folds of my sleeve every time I fold it up too high, saying that I shouldn’t do that. The way he touches the tip of my hijab for no reason. The way he impersonates people. The way he says my name.

I might always say that I’m so into guys who play guitar or do sport, guys with glasses, beard, long hair, firm chest. I might always say that I have such a big big crush into that local male singer whose name starts with A and ends with N, or another singer, actor, YouTuber… simply whoever I found cute. I might always say that my boy friends or even my ex are nice and charming, were the captain of the basketball team back in high school, or whatever.

But behind those all, the only guy I am looking into now… is him.

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