#it’s all rambly im sorry hope it makes sense

[plan-3-tmars]

Is this what Happiness is?

- hey so I haven't seen an interpretation of the bar scenes in Half that I fully agree with, so I wanted to throw my own two cents out there into the void and pray that it makes sense !!!

so, in the bar scenes in Half we see what I interpret as a hangout with old friends (or, hangout with old friend + his wife.) These scenes used to be the biggest piece of evidence for the cheater theory, but now that that's been debunked by the man himself, I have a new way of looking at them

~ before I go any further, I just wanted to say that I'll be calling the brown-haired woman whiskey for simplicity's sake

In this scene, Kazui turns to look at Whiskey, saying the lyrics:

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

With my guess (cuz that's really what it is there's no evidence for it) that Whiskey is the Bartender's wife i think this scene is Kazui being conflicted with what he's been told is true, that marrying Hinako is "true love", versus what he feels is true, that marrying Hinako has brought distance into their relationship.

He looks at Whiskey, a woman happily married, and wonders why his relationship with Hinako isn't like that.

~ shout out to @prisoner-000 for the following screenshot

in this post he points out that Hinako and Kazui's rings are silver in Cat, not gold like they were in Half, yet Bartender's ring colour stays the same.

For the sake of this writing I'm going to go with the first meaning they put out, that Bartender's ring is gold because his marriage is genuine.

But wait!! I hear you ask. This is Half and Kazui's ring is still gold in Half!! EXACTLY MY FRIEND!!

Kazui's ring IS still gold in Half because at the time of these scenes he's still fooling himself that this relationship is good, that he will eventually garner real romantic feelings for Hianko.

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

Remember this lyric that plays during the Whiskey -> Hinako scene. You know what other scene in Half this lyric reminds me of?

laughing together, side by side,

this distance in our relationship is misleading me,

is this what happiness is?

He's beginning to doubt if what he believes is true, he's beginning to believe the feelings telling him something's wrong (and remember, the scene right after this one is when he confesses (?) his secret to Hinako) ARE infact true, and that maybe the logic he's been following for so long has a couple holes in it.

I think these scenes are meant to show Kazui gradually realising that his relationship with Hinako will not work out. It just won't, no matter how hard he tries.

He's able to laugh together and talk with Whiskey because she's his friend, yet he can't do the same with his own wife? Even though, according to his gold ring, their relationship is supposed to be real and true and genuine?

#thats not even getting into the gay theory implications btw #bar kazui staring at audience kazui with the lyrics “all these memories and you / only if i could erase them” #because his crush on his friend literally haunts him and his relationship with hinako (the green apple) #confessing his love to his friend “just so its out in the open” because he so desperately needs to get it off his chest #most likely having his feelings not reciprocated as his friend his married and staring at his wife #who then transitions into hinako / wondering why he does not feel the same happiness with her than he does at the bar #because he's lying to himself and he's lying to her #he *knows* that their relationship is not happiness and yet he hides in denial #because it's not like he will be able to find his happiness anyway as his friend is already taken #sorry #this doesnt rlly make sense and i'm aware of that i wish i could beam what im trying to get at into ur head #unfortunately its nearly 11pm and when i was brainstorming this idea i had a nap and NEVER WROTE MY THOUGHTS DOWN (biggest mistake ever) #someone with a bigger vocabulary pls come and pick this up and explain it better thank youuuy #anyway just hope you get what im trying to say #thats all #sorry for the ramble in tha tags but also this is my house so #milgram #kazui mukuhara #hinako mukuhara #milgram theory #ig i never know what to title these

[siliconforbrains]

Okay, it's like 10pm on a work night and I haven't had any coffee today so my thoughts are a little scrambled BUT. I WAS THINKING.

(About In Stars and Time of course I'm always thinking about that game)

A couple of years ago, at the height of Steddie -my sister was big into it and recced me some fics okay- I read this fic about Steve dealing with time loops ("The one in which a time loop is fucking exhausting" by badpancake) and there was this specific detail about the epilogue that stuck with me.

It was the idea that, once the time loops were done and over with, people would slowly start to remember bits and pieces of what happened in earlier loops. After being fractured for so long across dozens of timelines and experiences and outcomes, time was finally healing, and broken shards of lost memories would find their way back into people's minds.

And that got me thinking about a post-game what-if scenario where the same happens to the gang as they travel through Vaugarde.

Like they still don't remember everything -just bits and pieces. Experiences so emotionally charged that they found a way to cross the sands of time and reach them again.

The question is, what would those memories be? The first answer that comes to mind is some of Siffrin's deaths, of course. I can't imagine watching your friend get pancake-d by a boulder would be pleasant, nor witnessing them turning their own dagger to themselves. Or offering him a slice of your favorite snack only for him to go into anaphylactic shock in front of your very eyes, for that matter!

But there would be other instances too, wouldn't they? Death is not the only thing that shook them to their core. What about their first death to the King? Or Bonnie's fate at the end of Act 3? What about basking in the blissful feeling of victory against the tormentor of your land only to turn to look at your friend and know something is very, very wrong?

What about fighting through the House with a party of 4 instead of 5, bloodied, confused, staring in the face of the King knowing you're about to die and wondering why your friend left you all when you needed them most?

I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this, but I've been rotating this concept in my head since this morning and thought I'd get it out on here so y'all can suffer with me tehee

#maxisrambling #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #isat siffrin #i genuinely don't know if i'd ever write a fic about this concept #esp bc i already have like 3 wips im working on and i don't need another #but if i ever were to it would be like. a post-game fic where the party realizes just how bad the loops were #how they affected siffrin and how they mightve affected /them/ #(bc love this found family to death but siffrin probably downplays a lot of the loops stuff until confronted /lh) #and meanwhile sif has to deal with the knowledge that his family is remembering things he never wanted them to remember #seeing things they never shouldve seen #and is probably filled with a fuckton of guilt about that bc even now that the loops are broken they're hurting them #they all need a hug oh my god #OFC it would have a happy hopeful ending but NSDJKVNDJKFV angst hurt/comfort <3 #okay im done rambling hopefully this makes sense #im gonna go pass out now id say sorry but I'm not lmao xoxo

[sukugo]

i have to ask because i adore you and i want to know about your new blorbos- who are they and what are they and why are they always soaked in blood

JDHSJFHJFDDJFFSDFDF, oh man where do i start cassie.

they're from the anime/manga jujutsu kaisen, and they are:

gojo satoru. love of my fucking life. my fucking everything my boy my man, i am so so in LOVE with this man i cant even begin to tell u. he consumes my every waking thought, my life is dedicated to seeing him get fucked. (he's the guy in my header humping his all into the other's arm)

and (ryoumen) sukuna. beautiful sexy evil man.

(can u tell who's my fave)

so in this world, we have jujutsu sorcerers, who are people with special powers that they use to defeat/exorcise curses, which are basically evil spirits born of negative human emotions

gojo is the strongest jujutsu sorcerer alive. he is insanely strong, not a single person can go against him. his powers make it so that u literally physically cannot touch him. he controls "infinity" and can warp space, and he also has pretty special eyes that let him perceive things at a much deeper level than a regular person. those two things combined make him quite literally untouchable. and insanely powerful.

as for sukuna, he used to be a human who lived thousands of years ago, who used to be the strongest sorcerer of his time, and is considered to be the strongest sorcerer in history. he is the King of Curses, no one could ever defeat him, or destroy his soul, which he divided into his 20 preserved fingers so it would survive through time, even after dying.

so itadori yuuji

this lil baby boy (literally the babiest sweetest boy to exist btw) (he's actually the main character haha)

due to some stuff, he ends up eating one of sukuna's mummified fingers and sukuna reincarnates inside him. yuuji becomes a vessel for sukuna, who lives inside yuuji's mind now and sometimes takes over his body (reason why they look the same)

and now, yuuji is sentenced to be executed bc he holds the most evil sorcerer in history inside him, but gojo goes nope! wait a minute, let's not do that. and manages to convince the people in charge to postpone yuuji's execution, saying that they'll get yuuji to find and eat all of sukuna's fingers and then execute him, getting rid of sukuna all in one go.

ok so that's the context (that's actually what the anime's about haha), but as to gojo and sukuna.

THEY ARE IN LOVE

well, they're there. sdkkhfkjdkfdf

ok no, so like they do their things right. gojo is a teacher (tho we never actually see him do any teaching lmao) and sukuna lives inside yuuji and causes trouble sometimes. they don't really ever interact in the story (they literally meet and have a lil confrontation, decide to kill each other and never talk again djshjfdasdadfd) (until they actually have their Fight, more on that later)

BUT!!!!!!!! they may not interact, but they are completely tied together narratively.

as u can see, they're both the strongest from their respective times, so they have a lot of links when it comes to their characters themselves and what they are referred to in the story. specifically that, in being the strongest, they exist in a plane above everyone else, literally untouchable.

now, in the story, this position of strongest is coupled with solitude, being the strongest meaning u're alone and no one else understands you bc of this

and SO they have their fight. bc plot reasons right. this is obv what it was all gonna lead to. fight of the two strongest.

and the fight, consequently, revolves around that idea of solitude, and understanding each other.

which like. ok. yeah we saw that coming. ofc. no big deal.

EXCEPT, to make reference to their relationship and that idea of understanding each other, the term that is used is, and i kid u not, love.

there's a very specific phrase that is used multiple times between them. which is actually used originally with a character who shows romantic feelings towards sukuna.

she challenges sukuna to a fight and sukuna promises to marry her if she wins. her goal in this fight is to share in sukuna's solitude and show him love (read R→L)

but she says this to sukuna and this. this is his reaction.

SUKUNA KNOWS LOVE ALREADY

to which she gets super pissed bc that's not!!! love!!!!!!!

sukuna defeats/kills her. and u know when the next time that exact fucking phrase is used? when sukuna and gojo finally meet again and set up the date to have their Fight, where sukuna remembers her words

which tells us that.

sukuna was.

thinking about gojo when she said that.

*screams into hands*

BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE. this phrase is then repeated. multiple times.

1. right after gojo punches the fuck out of sukuna:

2. said in reference to gojo, when he realizes there's a chance of him losing:

3. gojo reminiscing about their fight:

so, as u can see, they were going to teach each other love. their fight is. canonically. about teaching each other love. what the FUCK.

but ENOUGH love talk (or else i'm at risk of going crazy insane)

LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW THEY'RE LOADED WITH SEXUAL TENSION

this was in their first meeting where they fought (for quite literally 10 seconds)

like... why he do dat.... .......... . ....

next day sukuna goes "hey im gonna kill u first <3" and gojo just goes "teehee omg really? *hair twirl* <3"

they also decide to have their final battle on dec 24 which is like a super romantic date in japan (explicitly said so by another character)

and their FIGHT. it is LITERALLY just them flirting and touching each other

LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i fucking lost it. i still haven't recovered. that is the hottest thing i've ever seen in my life. gojo wants that dick so fucking bad

not to mention thigh grabs and hand touchies

and the entirety of the fight is just them having fun 😭😭 they're supposed "enemies" on opposite sides and the fate of the world is at stake here, but they actually don't give a fuck about that.

they're literally smiling and having a great fucking time. this fight for them is just play. their fight is just for them to have fun as the strongest and to connect with each other. they're enemies but they don't hate each other or anything, they only search for that sense of fulfillment in each other OTL

AND ABOUT THAT, oh my GOD

sukuna wins. he defeats gojo. and at the end, this. is what sukuna says to gojo at the end of the fight:

FUCKING. I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU. SCREAAAAM THAT'S ROMANCEEEEEE.

and the soft smile? the fucking petals falling all over them? oh GOD they're trying to kill me

but that's on sukuna's side, what about for gojo? well

HE GENUINELY TRIED TO REACH SUKUNA, GAVE IT HIS ALL TO CONNECT WITH HIM. TO TEACH HIM LOVE AGFKDHSKFHFKJFHDF (BUT HE FAILED HE COULDN'T GIVE SUKUNA WHAT SUKUNA GAVE HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

HHRRRRGJFHSJDFHDSJFSDFA KJHDKFJSFKASLDKS ADKJKFHEWRKJEKRKTRELRW

and if i start crying OTL

but alas *deep breaths*

even without all that they're just very fucking sexy. two insane powerful men going at it? come on. how could u NOT want them together. they both hold the same title of the strongest, might as fucking well fuck nasty about it.

and oh god, when i tell u gojo is a fucking brat and he's so strong and untouchable, but then sukuna is capable of putting him down which is. insanely sexy. and i need it. i need gojo obliterated. and i know sukuna won't let me down (AND HE DID NOT. HE OBLITERATED THAT MAN) can he now obliterate his holes too

agdkhfhdkhdhs, anyways.... yeah.. that is the situation.........

im just gonna end this by saying

SUKUGO MY LOVES

#f.ask #jjk #sukugo #i fr laughed so much at 'why are they always soaked in blood' sajhdkashfkjasflaf bc yeah yeah they are #and it's bc the fight's the only proper interaction they've had that was longer than a few seconds jhashdksafjk 😭😭😭 #they're actually not new blorbos haha. i've had them for over three years since the anime first came out and i got obsessed #then i got into other stuff as u know. but right now my obsession has reawakened :D #but yes they're my otp yeah they're a fucking rarepair #jk tho. honestly honestly they arent a rarepair. not anymore #it just feel like it here on tumblr dfksdjfkdsj 😭😔 #they used to be tho. it was so bad back then that i was literally the one who had to create the ship tag ajfhjasgfajhkahf #which like..i mean yeah. bc before it was ONLY their first meeting 10 sec confrontation and that 5 sec 'ill kill u' 'im honored' #that was IT for 3 years. their actual fight is recent #and it fucking killed me bc it was SO SO SO GAY. my starved lil heart was given so MUCH #IN CONCLUSION #i just want sukuna to fuck gojo that is all thank u for coming to my ted talk sukugo my beloveds <3 #i feel like ive rambled too much hdasgdisfhkjafdkjdasds SO SORRY for making u read all that 🙈🙈🙈 #i hope all this makes sense #and that it makes my posts a bit more comprehensible hahaha #giving u the biggest KISS <333333 #and idk if u're interested in it but if u are then i'd def def recommend jujutsu kaisen!! it's really good its super fun!!! #full of Pain and Suffering too but like. shhh. it's super cool.

[distortedmoondisc]

I think we as a fandom don't talk enough about Aira being Hiiro's fan—y'know, as an idol.

It might be because most people don't read the main story, or because it's not blatantly stated in there like other things, but it's something I think is a very unique facet about their relationship.

As we know, Aira separates his professional life and his personal life a lot. He will wait in line to shake hands with Hiyori Tomoe and buy a dozen CDs just to have a couple of extra minutes just talk to him, even though he can do this at any time since they're both idols living in the ES dorms and friends from the same circle.

And while this is admittedly silly from Aira's part, he truly sees this something serious and actually, he's kind of justified in thinking this way? He takes pride in being an idol otaku, and he wants to play as fair as possible with fellow fans, he doesn't want to take advantage of the fact that he's living and working alongside these super stars, and in my eyes that just shows how pure-hearted and honest he is.

With that in mind, it would be obvious to conclude that Aira would be a fan of his unitmates. He's definitely a fan of Tatsumi and Mayoi, but it's explicitly said in the MS that Aira is a fan of Hiiro.

This is from episode 89, "Grace"

(this episode may or may have not changed my brain chemistry forever lol)

Here, Aira makes the statement that he wants to protect Hiiro as an idol.

Hiiro is new to this world; he's a rookie, he's unpolished, far from perfect, but he's brimming with potential and he shines brightly on stage regardless of his imperfections — especially to Aira's eyes, and Aira wants to protect that, he wants to keep Hiiro's shine, and to help him grow and become the great idol Aira sees in him.

And I just can't express how much this means to me??? To their relationship??? This is why I can't understand people who say Aira doesn't care about Hiiro (these are opinions I've read way too often on twitter...), when Aira more than anyone wants to protect him not only as a person (like when he comforts him, cheers him up and motivates him after Rinne disowns him), but also as an idol. Aira trusts in Hiiro the idol. He sees his potential and he admires him deeply — not only as a fellow idol or as a friend, but as a fan.

And what gets me is the wording Aira uses here. He talks about wanting to protect Hiiro, to defend him. This is stated in another chapter and I don't remember exactly where (I believe it's one of the last episodes of the MS, but please correct me if I'm mistaken), but Aira states that he wants to protect Hiiro's purity — and this can be interpreted many ways, be it in that he wants to protect Hiiro's innocence as in his personality trait (his endearing naivety, his trusting and friendly nature, his endless curiosity, his earnestness and sincerity), or his purity as an idol, in the sense that because Hiiro is an idol, he has an appearance to keep, he has to be shining and to be pure and beautiful all the time (because that's the image idols give to the world, to their fans; the image that gives countless of people like Aira hope); this can include protecting Hiiro from the darker sides of the industry, such as toxic fans, unhealthy relationships with fame, corrupted producers or people from the industry, among other things. Aira seems to be aware of these issues (as he mentions in the second chapter of the main story, see below), so it makes sense that he wants to shield Hiiro, who knows absolutely nothing about this industry or the city, from those things.

Episode 24, "Suspicious"

And personally, I think Aira means both. He wants to protect Hiiro's purity as a person: he wants to protect the cheerful and positive Hiiro he knows and loves and admires (Aira himself states this. Multiple times. So much so that Aira often comments about how uncomfortable he feels when Hiiro is gloomy or troubled, that he is always the first to ask what is wrong or if something is bothering him.... but talking about Aira's high perceptiveness for Hiiro's emotions is a topic for another day) — but he also wants to protect Hiiro as an idol, wants to protect the immaculate image he gives to the world and to his fans, because Aira loves him, the same way he loves an idol from a fan standpoint. And he hopes that by protecting this purity, Hiiro will grow to be the talented and shining idol Aira knows he can be.

And what gets me is that after thinking of Hiiro this way, Aira snaps out of his self-deprecating thoughts and decides to give his best in the Ullambana (episode 89). Aira literally overcame his insecurities because of Hiiro. Thinking of having to do his best and keep working hard in order to keep up with him and with Alkaloid gave him the strength he needed to stop spiraling down his own insecurities and focus his efforts into something that was worth it: in keeping Alkaloid alive, and keeping Hiiro The Idol alive, because Aira believes he will become an idol that will soothe, delight and captivate hearts of many like Aira in the future — and Aira has to become an accomplished idol and a strong person if he is to be next to him on stage to protect him and to help him grow.

-

I say a lot, mostly jokingly between my friends, that Aira is the biggest HiiroP... but after writing this whole post, I realize I'm not so far off from this assumption. Aira loves Hiiro as a friend, we all know and understand that, but what is often overlooked is that Aira—who divides his professional and personal life so strictly—recognizes the rookie, unpolished, but talented Hiiro as an idol, and he wants to see him grow and succeed not only as his friend and unitmate, but also as a fan. Hiiro is so shining and wonderful on stage that it awakens the idol-ota instinct on Aira, it brings him back to his roots where he watched and admired idols from afar and inspired and soothed his lonely heart. And honestly? I think this is terribly wholesome, if not incredibly beautiful, and I'm getting emotional over hiiai once again, so I'm going to finish the essay here. Thanks for reading ahdjfk

#we also don't talk about aira being the one protecting hiiro enough... #we usually think of hiiro since he's physically stronger and there's been scenes where he acts very protective of aira #like the famous “let go of aira!” scene w rinne #but we as a fandom often forget that aira does protect hiiro #albeit in a more subtle way #but honestly to me that's what makes it even more noble and admirable. #aira is tiny and weak but he's still one of the most determined and hardworking characters in enstars #and if he has as one of his goals to protect Hiiro's purity #then he will #idk man im just very moved by kanojo-kun trying his best to protect hiiro and his smile #and how he wants to nurture his potential as an idol bc he knows hiiro is capable of giving other people hope #the same way idols in the past did for aira #ueueueue #sorry for the long ramble #this was kinda copypasted from a chat w a friend on discord #but i tried changing it a bit so it makes more sense all together #hope it made sense lol #ensemble stars #enstars #enstars alkaloid #alkaloid #aira shiratori #hiiro amagi #hiiai #my post

[neet-elite]

Why do you not care about popularity? I want to not care but I find it so difficult lol.

man, i dunno... i think it's got something to do with the fact that it's not guaranteed? i think i definitely cared about it when i was younger. but i grew up (i say this as unironically and emphatically as possible) and grew out of the need to receive external validation.

i stopped writing for a year because it wasn't fun anymore. i stopped updating my website for a year because it wasn't fun anymore. i stopped pole dancing for 4 years because it wasn't fun anymore. it is so easy for me to pick up and drop topics/hobbies. i was very loved (and im very thankful for that) in all of these spaces before i left, but like... having all that love didn't make the hobbies any more fun yknow?

i write because i enjoy it. i don't care if anyone reads it or not lmao. i mean it's nice!!! it's nice that people enjoy my art, and i love getting kind messages from readers. but it's not necessary for me to still enjoy the process of writing, does that make sense?

i started creating art solely for myself, i broke free from my chains of needing external validation, and now i only have myself to cater for. i hope that you're able to reach the same state if that's something you wanna work towards, but i also wanna remind you that it's okay to want popularity !!! it's not a bad thing to want to be loved, or to receive attention, especially for your craft. it's understandable, and i'd argue that it's the norm. but i think to be popular you have to either A. work tirelessly to cater FOR the general public, create not for yourself but rather to what the masses want/say. or B. get very lucky. i don't think talent/skill has much to do with it, because i've seen so many talented creatives posting online to an audience of none.

i think i just got lucky. and i just personally don't work towards the goal of popularity, yknow?

#💌mail #rambling sorry #i hope this all makes sense #im about to post another event prompt jsyk!

[constablequodo]

Fuck it, this is a Seanszlo stan page now.

I just imagined a probably very blood drunk and tired Laszlo seeing Sean on his porch late at night and going up to him to attempt to start a conversation despite his very, very intoxicated state.

Sean gets really confused as to why Laszlo's acting so strange, until it finally clicks in his head that his friend must be drunk. He tries to help Laszlo back to his house next door but ends up wrapped in a VERY tight embrace. He tries to wriggle free and tries to tell Laszlo that he's drunk and needs to get home, but Laszlo absolutely refuses to let go.

After a long yet hopeless battle, Sean sighs and decides it would probably be easier if Laszlo just spent the night at his.

Sean wakes up on his couch in the morning, wrapped up in what he later realises is Laszlo's coat. His face grows hot at the memory of falling asleep curled up with his best friend. He tries to shake it off, tries to tell himself that he didn't actually enjoy it, and that Laszlo was the one who refused to let go.

He tries to forget Laszlo's drunk mumbles about how warm and comfortable he was, about how much he loved sean.

He tries to ignore the feelings it gives him.

He'll return Laszlo's coat when he sees him again.

#sorry that turned into a big ramble #i hope this reaches the right audience #and i also hope this all makes sense #i cba to proofread it and im tired so-my apologies if i just write a bunch of gibberish #laszlo is very cuddly when drunk #unfortunately sean was the victim this time #seanszlo #sean x laszlo #sean rinaldi #laszlo cravensworth #wwdits

[queer-pagan-witch]

One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.

#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow #someone should kiss me #and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons #i love #im so drunk #i too drunk #i stated typing thos at 12:30 #imma smoke pot after i post this #if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags #i need to stop drinking by myself #if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes? #at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself #im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this #trans thought time #i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true #like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option #but is it the right option? #i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny #cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny #this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise #america sucks #capitalism sucks #love is such a bullshit thing #how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou #like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong #maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist #i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally #12:51 and i have one more short tag to add #i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh #but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you

[cherrirui-official]

Are your gijinkas (race wise) based on the actors for the most part or the pokemons design for the most part? I'm curious to know :3

I don't really have a definitive answer for this, but when think abt it, it's a bit all over the place if that makes sense??

Like some of them aren't really a specific race (Like 4est, Pastey, and Lark), some are based on the actors (Like Jayweed and the Mykyie redesign I plan on posting soon) and some are based on the Pokemon's design (Sara and Braidy I think are good examples of this)

Tbh the only one who doesn't fall into either one of these categories is Grunpilo, that weird little freak.

#I hope this makes sense im rlly sorry if I worded it weird or made it sound confusing #Honestly Grunpilo just spawned into existence while I was drawing concept designs for other characters #and hes looked the same ever since #like the others have gone through at least a few small changes but not Grunpilo #I dont even remember how I created his design except for the fact that I wanted Grunpilo to be a lil puppeteer #and the rest is history #i didnt expect to be rambling abt Grunpilo in the tags but here i am lmao #Also i specifically mentioned the Mykyie redesign bc I barely knew anything abt Mikey when I first got into friendlocke #and my dumbass ended up making his first gijinka design WHITE!!!1! BIGGEST FUMBLE OF MY LIFE IM SO SO SO SOO SORRY MIKEY MY FELLOW FILIPINO #technically im white but a large part of my family is filipino so its even more embarrassing for me to do that AUGH! Im so ashamed of mysel #so yeah that's basically all I gotta say abt the subject. Ty for asking! #rui replies #friendlocke #friendlocke violet #violet gijinka AU #sugarlime83

[lucifer-kane]

To veer off into a different piece of media I think there's something to a stage version of Repo! The Genetic Opera (I know it started as such, bare with me) where that final sequence on the actual stage is such a powerful thing of. You as the audience are watching and can't do anything about what is happening. This is going to happen, there's nothing you can do to change how this ends. This tragedy will happen.

#sorry im at that point in the movie rn im thinking about this hard #watching this confession. knowing it's a play but maybe playing into the 'this is all part of the show' but its actually real to make it fu #watching this family confrontation and a feud of stolen love and such #you watch this powerful man die on stage thinking it's apart of the show #after watching bling mag get skewed. thinking it's also part of the show #it is. but it's also real #hope this rambling makes sense

[oof-ow-my-bone]

durge vanya btw. if y'all even care.

#idk why that sounds so aggressive im sorry kjdhfgksjhdKJDHFGKDJ #she looks so confused <//3 #ive got this whole convoluted backstory in mind for her to make her make sense with original vanya canon btw. #would be such a shame if the dark urge storyline ruined that for me : #i mean i kiiind of know a feeewww spoilers but i aM HOPING.... #also i feel like all my bg3 ocs look so boring. like the customization options are so vast and my 3 idiots are just. #half elf with red eyes and burn. kind of quirky gnome. blue hair and pronouns. #but i love them regardless <<33 #bones rambles

[a-vicious-faithless-angel]

Y'know I love seeing Simon n David all lovey dovey m shit but like

I imagine that both of them still have shit to work through and have things that they deal with (aka mental illnesses) like they are aware that separately they have to work on things but that doesn't mean they don't help each other through moments, cuz I truly imagine it would be something they try to do, like David texting Simon thro the day to make sure how he's holding or Simon sitting with David with any anxiety they've been holding in.

Like yeah they're fictional characters but they're still human and have flaws n I wanna think about that. I wanna think about how they work through their problems but live together and love each other, it's just a chill relationship.

Consider them roommates

#idk rambles #cof #aom #simon henriksson #david leatherhoff #4525 #like dont get me wrong there's nothint wrong to draw them happy #but like #i don't think we should ignore #or act like relationships fix problems #i hope im making sense in all ot this #this is someone currently in a relationship with someone very loving while they understand i still am working on myself with my mental shit #woopla #this may be my 3/4th time talking anout them lole this #sorry ahdbdbnr

[princekirijo]

Three years to come up with a design? Dayum you must really care about it a lot. Even if you weren't thinking about it most of the time, you must still care about it an awful lot to keep going back. That's impressive man I bet it'll be great

Yep! I'm honestly surprised at myself because normally I get bored of stuff and move on but Captain AU is just something really close to my heart and has been for about 5 years lol

Pimpernel himself has gone through roughly 15 design iterations in those 3 years would you believe 😅 comparing them they all look similarish but have key differences (one day I might post all of them but I wouldn't think about doing that until like I have a final design ofc). I think just designing personas in general is something I'm really interested in (I mean I do ramble a lot about persona designs because I just think the concept is so so cool)

It is kinda funny to me that in that same time period Lugh has undergone 1 design change, Mordred 2 design changes and Percy none (but I haven't started him lmao 💀).

#asks #defiant-firefly #captain au #ahah sorry for rambling a little as you said i care about this au a lot #im not even sure why im so attached to it but i guess somethings just stick lol #oh in case anyone is confused or new all of these figures are riku's (oc) personas lol #pimpernel being the initial one is why ive put a lot of time into him! #with 4 and 5 the initial personas are very important because thats whats used in all the marketing lmao #but it makes sense to me that the initial one would be the most iconic so that's rhe one ive worked the hardest on :] #also appreciate it dude im hoping it'll be great too hehe #part of me does wonder do i keep redesigning him because im a perfectionist #or because i really enjoy designing stuff 💀

[merriclo]

ahsjkds rant/vent in the tags

#i fucking LOVE having to hug my friend as they sob bc our rights r actively being revoked #i’m literally 16 years old. i don’t even have my permit yet. #it shouldn’t be up to us kids. i shouldn’t have to tell them that we’ll fix it and make it all ok one day #it’s not that fucking hard to let trans people exist. it’s really not. #and yet #i just. ughajdnfjkw #they were sobbing. and all i could do was promise that i’d try and fix it. #i’m pissed and tired and upset and all i can do about it is hope that my emails and club speeches actually do something while i wait #there are wonderful adults who are fighting for us and i cherish them greatly #but that doesnt change the fact that the government - the very people i was raised to believe we’re there to protect me - is actively #passing laws in favor of my suicide. #and the only thing i can do about it in the meantime is comfort my friends and hope they give my email the light of day #it’ll be okay. we can fix this and save our community. i know we can. #i just wish this wasn’t something we have to do in the first place #this is gonna sound indelicate but i wish i still flinched when getting called a faggot #i’m not sure if this makes sense but it feels like i lost something when i started teaching myself to remain neutral in the face of bigotry #i want to be mad and upset but instead i’m carefully crafting how im perceived and judged at every moment #where’s the justice in me forcing myself to watch bigoted videos at the age of 14 so i wouldn’t be caught off guard or shocked when harassed #tell me where the fuck the justice is in that. #sorry for all this rambling i’m just upset

[samgelina-jolie]

hiii sorry i wanted to talk about the poll regarding the camera. the ONLY thing that makes Steve in the wrong was that his intent wasn’t to really comfort/ get justice for Nancy it was to bully Jon. The thing is though like the means justify the ends ? The camera still should’ve been broken and Jonathan still stays objectively wrong so there’s no way of him being right, it’s that if Steve cared about Nancy more at the time and broke the camera because he was being creepy it would’ve made the most sense. it’s part of the reason why a lot of people think that was his true intent so maybe , maybe not.

I can understand this. Like I said myself Nancy was clearly uncomfortable with both of their actions so while I personally do believe he was trying to defend her, she seemed pretty unhappy with the way he went about it so it's hard to bel it was solely for her benefit.

I also 100% get people saying the camera should've been smashed bc even tho i think it was too far, I'm obviously biased because we're made to like/feel sympathy for Jonathan and because of the way Joe Keery played the scene I've always felt even Steve thought it was too far.

(Basically just cause I'm probably reading into this face he makes)

But his logic of "taking his toy away" makes sense to me. Can't take creepy pictures if you haven't got a camera to take them with.

#sorry for rambling #i get what you're talking about anon #im very tired i just woke up lads #could be reading into the face like maybe hes just bored lmao #hope all of this makes sense #show: stranger things #ch: steve harrington #ch: jonathan byers #dynamic: steve/jonathan

[mdverse]

4, 20, 22 :)

4. favorite thing to draw

vb au my absolute beloved <3 but more generally i love drawing characters interacting? super vague way to describe it but like... idk just trying to showcase the dynamics between characters?

20. a piece from this year that you’re really proud of

there are so many to choose from already this year! here are a few:

sleeping santana

furtana family bonding trip

corset vest!kurt

santanaverse

vb au uht glow up

the fact that they are all vb au is genuinely a coincidence aksdjfh but i guess that just goes to show how much i love that au

22. what inspires you

a lot of things! i think u know this more than anyone mist, since you put up with a lot of my thoughts on a very regular basis :)

i think music is a big one. i've drawn a couple of stuff directly inspired by songs/performances, but i also really enjoy trying to capture the feelings that certain songs give me! like i channeled at last by etta james for the diner!brittana, i have a vb au furtana playlist that i listen to when i draw them bc those songs perfectly encapsulate the dynamic i picture for them, and in general i try to put on playlists that match the mood of whatever i'm drawing. not to mention the stuff like musicals, tv shows, and movies that inspire some of my aus.

the other thing is just like... everyday life? lil experiences, memories and feelings that pop up and that i want to capture, yknow? part of why vb au in particular is so vibrant and full of energy is bc vb was a highlight of my high school experience, orchestra au happened bc i was watching an orchestra concert and i found myself missing the time in my life where i did play musical instruments regularly and i wondered what it would be like if i hadn't dropped them, i put a lot of effort into the forest for that furtana camping trip art bc i love walking around in nature, kurt with a basket of fruit literally just happened bc my art history class talked about that painting for a bit and i thought it was cool, the santana glee advent drawing is based on a painting i made in high school, which in turn was based on a lot of the conflicting thoughts and feelings i was dealing with at the time.

idk what to say about the cursed aus lmao. i blame u and fellow tumblr user fettuccinecaterpillar for spongeblaine bc i genuinely had not thought of that, and unfortunately i have no one but myself to blame for shruck (except maybe you for encouraging me every time i pitch bad ideas?)

idk i guess what i'm trying to say is that i get inspiration from many different aspects of life? it's fun to think of these lil mundane things and then translate them into bigger moments in art form, or to sprinkle in lil feelings that mean so much to me. i think it helps me cherish every single artwork i make, even if i may not love the final result, yknow? not to mention seeing so much incredible art from other artists that i admire... it really pushes me to continue creating my own stuff too!

art ask game :)

#ask md #mist <3 #ask games #art asks #im so sorry i started rambling i hope it all makes sense

[altruistic-meme]

Abram darling, i have two questions:

have you unlocked the secret shrimp emotions from being awake so long?

i'm shuffling through your Omar but mmmm i cant find songs that itch my brain. you know the songs that tend to do that, do you have any recommendations?

hello my love ksdhfshd

1. i am prety sure i can hear shrimp sounds. i don't think i've ever drank so much coffee in one day before, which is fascinating cus i have definitely drank a lot of coffee. it is still a 0/10 experience and i would LOVE to experience some Sleep. alas. we are going on hour uhhhh 32 or so.

2. mmmmmmm most of his songs itch my brain but i think that may be somewhat of the Blorbo Effect. that said tho, the songs that i definitely vibe with the MOST are: In The Sunrise, Om Om Och Om Igen, Moving Like That, and Läppar. ESPECIALLY Om Om Och Om Igen. it's simply one that is *chef kisses* but for his slightly slower songs i do also love to listen to Breathe and Dum, as i think they just have powerful moments in them that i like to sing along to!!

i would also definitely suggest his cover of Symphony, and this performance specifically of his cover of It Takes A Fool To Remain Sane! i love the acapella version from YR a lot more than his 'official' cover of it

#i don't know if i have quite reached shrimp emotions but we are well on our way #only another uhhh *checks watch that isn't there* 5 hours #but on the bright side!!! i only have to write another 1300 words for chapter 10 so i will probably finish that tonight! #i do not promise the entire thing will make perfect sense a la Shrimp Sound #but #i think it's mostly coherent at least #also omar's voice is very pretty. #i definitely cry more than i should over his voice #i just like listening to him talk.and laugh. #and sing also definitely and sing #i didn't watch an hour and a half long video on youtube of clips of him singing live idk what you mean #anywhosies thank you beloved <333 #also thank you for checking in on me i promise im okay!! #askers #cozycrow #omar rudberg #at this point. ik that is going to drag this into his tag but fuck it it's for blog purposes so sorry to #all the people who will see this in his tag and just get my very sleepy ramblings #hope you have fun with it <3 #shh ac