#it not being fully universal doesn't mean it's not real or not deeply painful

[vaspider]

Feisty Lady Anger and other things about me you hate

My mother prizes her anger, for all that she doesn't express it openly. I tell stories about her spiteful, steel-spined responses to people who told her, "You can't do that," and I point to them as Why I Am How I Am. Her father told her he wouldn't pay for her college because "women only go to earn the MRS degree," and she could "get married and have babies" without college. In response, Mom got her bachelor's in Mathematics in 1970 on her own dime, back in the days when in-state students didn't pay tuition at state schools (just another thing Reagan ruined). She worked and paid for her books and housing, got her degree, paid for her own wedding because he wouldn't do that either. Taught school, got her Master's, had three kids, started her Ph.D. with 3 under 6 and became a professor when the youngest was 5.

Tell me I can't, my mom told the world, and I'll show you that I can. I won't just do it, I'll become a department head and a Distinguished Professor and retire after 30 years of teaching other math teachers with a list of achievements as long as my arm.

There is an anger that runs deep in the women in my family. Tell me I can't, and I'll show you I can. Show me injustice and I'll tear at it with my teeth and hands, staring you down while I do. Backwards and in heels.

I can't tell you the moment I crossed out of Feisty Lady Anger in the eyes of the people close to me, but I can tell you the moment I noticed. Maybe it was when my voice started dropping or the growing muscles on my shoulders pulled my stance more square and upright. Maybe it was when I moved from they/them to he/they, and somehow I stepped from Diet Woman to Too Close To Man in their eyes.

It's a funny thing when all of a sudden your anger becomes real enough to be startling to people. Your anger is no longer feisty, charming, and attractive. This thing that people liked about you, that people who say they love you said they loved about you, suddenly becomes frightening, upsetting, and terrible. The way you didn't let people mow over you and fought back used to be a thing that people admired. It was actively attractive. It was one of your best qualities.

Now? It's ugly. It's disgusting. It's scary. The thing you were is gone, and now your anger is real to them.

It's in that moment that the blade cuts back towards you. You realize the reason your squared shoulders and set jaw drew people in couldn't be squared with the stubble on that jaw or the newfound strength in your arms. Feisty Lady Anger isn't real, not in the way a man's anger is real. Feisty Lady Anger is admirable, sure, but it is admirable because of its essential ineffectual nature. At most, Feisty Lady Anger fixes minor problems for the kids at school, gets the principal to back down from scolding your child when she politely asks the kid calling her a faggot on the bus if he knows what that really means, pushes a woman to achieve for her family, in appropriately neutered ways.

When you stop pretending to be a woman and become who you really are, when your anger becomes real, you realize both that the thing about you that people loved is gone and that this thing was attractive in the first place because of its ineffectiveness. Your anger wasn't scary because it wasn't real enough to be threatening.

Now you have Man Anger, and, you're told, you should apologize for that. It doesn't matter if it's the same anger you've always had, or that you're angry about the same things. It comes now in baritone, with belly hair and bellowing, and now it's both real and disgusting.

The worst part is watching it come from people you thought should know better, the people who should understand. You spent nearly 40 years being told to sit down and shut up because the men in your professional career were speaking, assured that if you just waited your turn, you'd be given a place to speak eventually, and now here you are being told within a community that claims to love and understand you, by people that claim to be in community with you and love who you are, that you actually don't have any real problems to speak about, also your Man Anger and Man Privilege (when do I get that, please?) are Scary and mean you should sit down and wait, and you'll be given a place to speak eventually.

It is the Transmasculine Catch-22: if you become Man Enough to no longer fit into Almost Lady, your anger becomes Real, which makes you realize that your anger wasn't Real before, but because it's Real now, you're not allowed to have it. And by the way, you're not allowed to be neither Man or Lady - now you're Man Enough, and that makes it all the more clear how you were simply Kirkland Signature Lady right up until the point you weren't.

There will be a few people who Fucking Get It, who don't see you as either a Failed Lady or a Broken Man, and you'll love those people all the more for their rarity. It won't take the sting out of realizing that the things people you love loved about you before now disgust and repel them, but it'll make it enough to keep going.

You couldn't stop, anyway. You've never felt more yourself, and the people who don't love you, the actual you, the real you... the loss of that hurts, but not nearly as much as the idea of pretending to be something else did.

#transmasc #transmascs #transmasculine #transmasc issues #transandrophobia #personal #before someone says it #yes i recognize that this experience is very much a white experience with anger #this is a deeply personal essay #and if you come at me for it not fitting your personal experience as well #we will not talk #i will just block you #it not being fully universal doesn't mean it's not real or not deeply painful #this has taken me years to write #terfs fuck off #radical feminism has done more to neuter the ability of women to be meaningfully angry than any other 'feminist' movement #so just don't

[futurecoresunangel]

Hell is REAL!

Preparation For the Second Coming of Christ

Archangel Channeled Messages

5/1/2023

Hell is real to bring justice to the World and souls of. God is real, angels are real, therefore Satan and demons ARE real. Hell IS real. Some Christians would like to deny the fact demons and ghosts are real but this conditioning is false. God created Hell to teach us a lesson, that we must follow ways that are in alignment with God, Love, Source, Christ Consciousness or we could fall into temptations, sins and could end up suffering. God created hell that way we would be CLOSE to him! He wants us to be close to him, that means safety.. so of course he uses Hell as a means to teach us lessons and keep us close, or in other words, safe. Most of us who study religion and have had an abundance of spiritual experiences, realization, visions or psychic gifts know hell is real. This is something we FEEL in vibration. Like we feel in vibration God exists. A lot of new age spiritualists would love to deny the fact Hell is real and they would also say that God isn't real but its just Consciousness. Both serve true actually. God IS real in form, or as a body, YES from the Throne of HEAVEN! Believe it or not, makes a big difference. And also God IS A consciousness or state of Consciousness that is high vibrational, all powerful, all loving, unconditional love, 5D, 6D, 7D ITSELF. God goes BEYOND their body, their gender, God is space. God is all of time. God is all of Creation. God is a being though, they have feelings and emotions and are deeply dissatisfied when humanity denies their presence and love. God is the Creator of this world. So when someone denies the presence of God so much... They are setting themselves up for failure long term realize it or not. God is always trying to communicate with us, show us their presence, get closer to us with good intentions ONLY or else it would simply not be God. You might call this Creator, Great Spirit, Ascended Masters, whatever you call it a higher power exists. It is completely necessary to acknowledge this and if you have not; unintentionally, at least do not be disrespectful towards the idea that a higher power exists. Why? Because we are in the END TIMES. We are living through COLLECTIVE Judgment. We are living through a period natural disasters, war, famine, plagues, death and mass destruction is going to reign upon humanity across the ENTIRE world. The Earth will tremble, the stars will fall, the sun will turn black, the moon red, you will hear trumpets and then and only then will you know the Lord has returned. He is coming for his chosen people, to save some of us, others have not fully learned our lessons and will stay behind but not die... Some of us WILL die a physical death and ascend. Some of us will not die a physical death, mostly children and animals. This doesn't necessarily mean it will be painful. God will get his people quickly. There is no long term misery or suffering for those who were loyal to the Lord and follow his ways. Every knee will bow... This is going to play out on the planet. It's all up to our good deeds, energy, words, actions, vibration so YES today is IMPORTANT and by far the most important day you've ever lived in the sense that it creates what you do tomorrow. What your fate is. Your entire past timelines are built off of what is going on in the NOW MOMENT- as well as future. If you do not resonate with these beliefs it no longer matters. Some of us think well we didn't believe in Christ but we are still spiritual or ascended, do we still have to bow to Christ? Yes I think we should or at least all be prepared for this. Maybe The Universe will let some pass into New Creations without a necessarily biblical apocalypse or prophecies etc. but this is not a fact, just speculation. I think that Christ's Second Coming is what we should prepare for.

There will also be ET's.. Creatures, demons and Angels amidst us.

Are you ready?

Archangel Channeled Messages

Namaste

Indigo Angel

#hell #prophecy #ascension #jesus #christ #lilith #demons #angels

[sinnabonka]

Hey Hun! Lots of love to you. For starters I wanted to say that there should be no cell in your body blaming yself in any way. You and your blog were hope for so many people. You were the "you are not crazy" of the final weeks, and I'm forever grateful to you. Instead of dying of anxiety I managed to have a blast in this time of waiting, thanks to you. I passed my master thesis, because you gave me strength to see past the fear. I laughed in those weeks more than in last 5 years, and all of it because of the hope you gave me.

The rest of the msg is going to be pretty emotional rant about the awfulness of it all, and I know my opinion doesn't matter to anyone but I wanted someone important to me to hear my thoughts, if that's ok. It's also ok if you don't want to read it ofc. It's like my breakup letter to the show.

I hear many people cheering for the finale and i find it really hard to deal with. I always considered myself an open person who fights for healthy love as the only redeeming quality of the universe. I could see people's point of view, even if it didn't sit well with mine, and I would always try to hear them out respectfully until they weren't being respectful themselves. That said, I'm fully unable to understand cheering for this type of spiteful content and hearing those cheers makes me feel like the entire world is listening to "this is how you treat your fans, this is how to abuse your power over naive sheep, this is how to keep dumb, hopeful minorities in check" and taking notes.

It also upsets me that the people who gave this show all of themselves and tried to understand it to the core are given no resolution, are spitted on and buried under the rug for doing their best to appreciate the art and the story it was telling. Yet people, who just hang around and watch the show doing the dishes, with no consideration to it's story or characters, got as nonsensical ending as their whole idea of character development in SPN.

I know people say that it was good enough, because it leaves space for guessing and own interpretation, but I feel it's really undermining the extend to which the finale was awful and hurtful to the fans. There is no end that realistically could stop fanfic writers from finding way around it in the world of Supernatural, so saying it was thoughtful of them Is like excusing abusive partner because "they could hit me harder, but they didn't. That means they care"

Lose ends, characters being written in a way that is totally not true to them and their development (personally my biggest allegation), dismissing years of story development, proving that it was all 'queerbaiting' in big part in the end (hell, even the whole "Cas is in heaven so do with it what you will" is a shameful way of appalling to LGBTQ community after using them so hard.

In the pie scene, the roles should be swapped, it's Dean who should say that Cas is on his mind and Sam explaining him that it's only right to keep on living doing good in their name. That's what Dean told Sam at the beginning of the season, when Sam lost Rowena, so it would be at least a bit poetic. This would at least give us some truth from Dean for once, but he died how he lived, in shadow of his fear to be true towards his feelings and needs. And as he died, he bound his little brother to the hunting till the end of his days, by guilting him into it on his deathbed. Guess Dean took after his father.

Have you realised what that emotional "love speech" from Dean to Sam resulted in? It was writers taking back Cas' confession after they didn't need our viewership anymore.

They basically gave us love confession to get us to follow the finale and when they didn't need us anymore, not only they didn't commit to the confession, but they undermined it by having Dean's speech to Sam go the way it did with obviously higher emotional charge, successfully taking back the value of Cas' confession and making it about a bait for "Tumblr idiots"

Finale killed my feelings towards Destiel, not because it wasn't confirmed canon, but because from what I see in the episode, they canonically confirmed that

- for Dean, Cas was only means to an end, which is such an awful way of ending Cas' character arc. They gave him everything he was scared of and nothing close to consolation price and they dare to tell us he had a happy ending, "because they said so". Well, I didn't see him being happy, and knowing what i textually know i can empathise enough to say that he faced a miserable finish. Even Chuck got an end that was better than Cas' fate.

- Dean, given power to do anything he could dream of, chooses to not even greet Cas, after Cas gave his whole life to Dean, told him he loved him and died for him. I know some people consider the little smirk of Dean confirmation of his feelings, but let's be real for just a second. If someone you deeply loved for years confessed to you, told you they thought you don't love them back, you would be freaking running to see them and tell them how much you love them. That smirk to me reads as "I'm relieved to know you're not going to spend eternity in mega hell that i left you in" and we really need to stop giving credit to writers for scraps like this when it's the last episode ever and we know this isn't going anywhere.

Not to mention that by having Jack bring Cas back behind the scenes it just highlights the fact that Dean didn't ask him to do that in episode 19.

As result, I'm unable to look at any Destiel scene and not think "in here Cas already loved him and in here Dean already abuses the power he had over Cas, because of his one-sided love"

And yet, the episode and endgames for everyone (maybe not Sam, but he was seriously pinning for Dean his entire life. Wincest much?) managed to be so bad, that not even bringing Cas back or following up on Destiel would make a difference in my eyes. I know you believe that Destiel would save it, but for me as much as it would be a redeeming quality, it wouldn't be enough to save this awfulness that writer doomed characters with.

And all the Wincest scenes in the finale... I low key expected them to make out and it made me feel physically sick. Also, cutting Misha out because of coronavirus is a cheap excuse. We all know better than to believe that, so let's not fall for the self pity play from the abuser.

If you managed to stay with me till this point, thank you so much for hearing me out. I hope i didn't anger you with my monologue. I will always think of the lamp when i think of you. The reality is that you were the lamp for so many of us in this darkness.

Love you so much, wish all the best to you, take care of yourself and stay safe!

Oh my god, if I didn’t cry with the final, I definitely am crying now. And now I have to explain my partner why I’m staring at my laptop and sobbing ugly. What have you done? 

First of all, I hear you pain, my friend! I share it! I didn’t spend a second after the final without the feeling of my heart being shuttered into million pieces, being stitched back just to break again, and so on and so on. 

I had my first panic attack in two years yesterday, when I kept thinking about the message the show sent to the fandom via Dean’s fate. I have a few posts in my draft on the matter, but I am not sure I will ever share them, because it is one strong depresso, and I don’t think people following me should see how fucked up it really is (if they didn’t get it by themselves, of course). 

I want to remind you, my gentle soul, that the story belongs to us. We know Dean, we know Cas, we know Sam and others. We know that the final is not who they are! I know it’s hard to ignore the text, the canon, because it’s kinda godsent, but the truth is essential. And the final is not the truth.

The truth: 

Cas loves Dean, he sacrificed himself for him, he saved his life on multiple occasions, he told all those beautiful things and he meant every word.

Dean loves Cas, he was on his lowest every time he lost him, Cas was his “big win”, his best friend, his brother, his white light that lead him out of his anger, hatred and despair. He took a dog and called it Miracle, he was looking for a job to retire from hunting, he didn’t kill Chuck - all of that, because the sacrifice Cas made was not in vain! The message was clear. 

I choose to ignore the “Carry on”, the only attention it is going to get is me creating 20 more mails just to put a one star review there and to drop some more salty or bitter comments with it. Maybe I will read through some reviews, too, add them to my collection. 

Maybe I will one day write here an article from scriptwriting perspective how fucked up in was, because that’s what I can do about it, without throwing up. 

If you can’t ignore it, I understand it. It is painful, it is disrespectful, I hate it as much as you do, probably. 

If there’s anything I can do for you to feel better, just drop me a message, we can talk about it. I am on the lowest, too, but maybe we can help each other.

You say I was your lamp. Let me lead you our of the darkness one more time <3 

CW can suck my metaphorical dick (I’m tagging every angry post with it), but Supernatural is not just the show on CW, it’s a big family. 

And you can’t give up on it! You can’t give up on Dean and Cas, you can’t give up on Destiel! It’s so much bigger then the show itself.

Rediscover the show for yourself, remind yourself that Dean and Cas are real, it was never one sided, it was always something amazing. 

What is real? We are.

Don’t you ever change.

I rather have you, cursed or not.

It’s love, hun, and love always wins. 

#the15yearshow #spn #destiel #cw #can suck my metaphorical dick #sinnabonka answers

[thesilenceanswers]

WHAT I THINK ABOUT:

TV SERIES – SKAM remakes (WtFock)

I think I could define myself as a big Skam fan which is quite dumb as a definition because it’s impossible not to be a big Skam fan once you start watching it.

So, better to say, I’m a normal Skam fan (which means BIG Skam fan) who is truly completely and utterly in love with season 3.

Again, no surprise, I guess.

However, I recently watched WtFock season 3 (unfortunately I didn’t watch it on real-time) and at the beginning the thing that got me so emotional was the concept that another parallel universe was forming.

But afterwards I fell in love with the two characters, even more than in the original one, if possible.

Since the talk about multiverse theory has a special spot in my heart, I decided to analyse that specific clip in WtFock.

WOENSDAG 16:36

1. The settings: colours and music

In my view, music and colours have the power to enlighten the whole mood and to convey a wholeness to a clip. I personally loved the soft colours chosen for this moment: the beige tone and the brownish aesthetic of the setting gave me somehow a sense of warmth and calm. It’s so relaxing and pleasing for both the eyes and the soul.

However, not only the colour palette is perfectly made, but also the choice of music is brilliant.

Every time the intro of ocean eyes by Billie Eilish begins, my world just breaks in two: this song was composed for this moment, you can’t change my mind.

It’s just so so accurate: Sander and Robbe really can't stop staring at each other’s eyes.

2. Lovebird

The beginning of the clip is both intense and light-hearted.

I know it may seem a dichotomy but it's just like that: right in the middle of the cuddles and the kisses the two of them can be so playful with each other (Robbe throwing pillows at Sander, or Sander playing around with the chips)

These two are truly lovebirds and all of these small gestures actually show how comfortable they are with the presence of the other: it's such a tender and soft scene that it warms my heart every time I watch it.

However, the apotheosis of this first part of the clip is peaked when Sander shows Robbe his sketch for the mural. I won’t lie, my heart sinked the first time I witnessed this magic moment (actually it does every time I re-watch it, but that's another story): just imagine how Robbe must have feeling sad and alone for such a long time; but then, out of nowhere, the man of his life just shows him how much he already means to him. Sander is so in love with Robbe that he is already his muse.

But that's not enough: our camera boy wants to portray the man of his dreams also with his camera.

And, again, I find it amazing how the two of them fit so well together: how Robbe giggles trying not to get

photographed and how Sander laughs saying "Allè posé".

But that’s not only by the gesture that we can feel they are so comfortable at the presence of the other, it’s also by how they interact.

I personally love how Robbe feels so at ease that he does not hesitate a moment before saying “Leonardo Di Caprio” when Sander asks him about his favourite actor.

He just simply says what he actually thinks and this really shows how much he already feels connected with Sander.

I know that "favourite actor" is a minor subject, but still I think that Robbe would have not be so relaxed in telling the Brores that he actually loved Romeo and Juliet; and that is because he is trying to hide his real self from his best friends. But that's not the case with Sander: Robbe feels free to be fully himself with him.

3. Sander’s shield and Robbe’s multiverse

However, in my opinion, the most outstanding moment of this clip is the conversation they have about life.

The first important aspect of this turning point event is Sander's behaviour.

At first, we are able to see only the shield he has put around himself for avoiding pain and suffering.

This defence mechanism (this shield) is visible when he says: '' Actually life is sometimes a bit like a movie, you have control over your own life. Choosing what your life is and what it will become".

This statement it's just so Sander-like: it shows the god-like character and the flawless golden boy he tries so hard to be.

But Sander's shield crashes down as soon as Robbe goes on by giving one of my favorite speeches of the show: " The theory (of multiverse) is based on the fact that time is also just a dimension and that besides this universe, there exists several other universes. When you make a decision, the universe splits itself. You can exist in every universe, but then always a little bit different. There could be Sander and Robbe lying in the same exact position as we are right now but, for example, there could be curtains with different colour".

I really find this speech a piece of art, pure poetry and pure genius: it made me shiver in the original one but this one got me mesmerized.

I realized why it is so important for me: I can relate to this view.

However, despite of the profound impact that these words had on me, what I love the most is Sander's reactions throughout the speech.

He is constantly but tenderly teasing Robbe by saying: "Like Spider-Man?" "Like in the flash?" and then the iconic "Yellow curtains" (I see the reference here).

I literally love these little remarks because I find them so genuine: Sander is actually listening to Robbe and he wants to interact with him for letting him know he does care about what he says.

However, I find Sander being so generous in giving those light-hearted comments: even though he really feels deeply what Robbe has told him, he is still trying to cheer Robbe up and to lighten the mood.

4. They never stop

(aka the most outstanding moment of the clip)

It’s just a moment but it changes everything.

Robbe looks directly in Sander's eyes and asks him if he has ever thought like that.

For me the whole world did stop for a moment when I first saw it.

In Robbe's stare I can feel his desire to understand Sander's real thoughts: he does care about him and that's why he wants to get to see Sander for who he truly is.

It's at Robbe's pure and tender care, that is the point when Sander's shield falls.

He stares at the ceiling thinking about what to say.

The music stops and the burden weighing on his shoulders is finally visible as he says 'I have".

With this small statement we get to see the real Sander: the fragile, insecure, lost boy who struggles with his life and who isn't so invincible like he appears to be.

Suddenly he finds himself helpless and falling in a black hole of dark feelings as he let himself go by saying: "Then I feel so lonely. Just don't you sometimes think: why is that I think what I'm thinking. Then you go back to your memories, step by step, and then how you went from one thought to the other. Then you think: why is like this? What if at that one thought I had thought something else, then I wasn't thinking what I am thinking right now. That keeps continuing, it goes on and on and it doesn't stop."

I shiver every time I hear this speech. It is so intense, so powerful and yet so dark.

The first time I heard it, I was affected by it at the point that I couldn't remember where my thoughts ended and where Sander's ones begin.

That was because I completely relate to those thoughts, and hearing them from him got me like his character even more because I could see how human he was.

He is just as complex as we are.

He is passionate, brave and full of life, yet he feels powerless towards the fact that he doesn’t feel the author of his own thoughts and consequently his own life.

#wtfock #What I think about

[sagebodisattva]

The Real True Story of Your Mental Slavery

So, what follows, is the real true story of mental slavery. Unlike other previous descriptions, that have claimed to shed light on the story of something's enslavement, this story aims to actually tell the truth of the matter, which starts by understanding that our apparent ostensible existence is, not so much a physical medium, as we have long been told to believe, but rather, of a purely mental agency; a truth that has been buried and kept top secret for a very long time. Awareness is the absolute truth. This is the undeniable irrefutable fundamental default axiom of existence. It cannot be falsified, and yet nevertheless, not only meets the burden of proof, but is, in fact, that which gives the very context to a burden of proof. This knowledge, which ultimately became a contemporary secret, was at one time more widely understood by a few of the ancient civilizations, but eventually this wisdom fell into the shadows of ignorance, due to, at first, attachments to abstractions concerning the imagined existence of divine, supernatural entities, or other such similar superstitions, and then, later, after the hubris and lust for power, that are inevitable with the apparent endorsement of a supreme being, had set in, to the heavy laden of attachments to the mundane indulgence in sensory pleasures. This is the road of excess, which, while true can sometimes lead to a palace of wisdom, can also lead, in different circumstances, to a palace of ignorance. These are the sweet fruits of delusion, born from unmitigated theocracy, monarchy, war and conquest. Hence the mind fell, and lowered itself all the way down to the level of the mundane. This is where science, aka knowledge built on the face value of sensory perceptions, took its course, hence materialism, hence the conception of a reality existing independent of awareness took root. Once the cloud of ignorance progressed this far, clarity became diluted and lucidity was eventually lost, as the emerging hedonistic tendencies eventually came to dominant the focus of human consciousness.

Before long, existence became totally solidified into an objectification. Once this was established, the prison was complete, and now, to sustain the delusion, only needed to be continually reinforced. A delusion, to which, the formula is simple. To institute a false description of reality that finds comfort and normalcy in assigning power and responsibility to factors imagined to be external of awareness, by any means necessary. Whether it be by way of oppression, deprivation, fear, pain or suffering, or whatever else is required, matters not. What matters is to systematically break down the will of the consciousness, and thus weaken the mind, leaving one as a helpless object of dependency, totally disconnected from the truth of awareness; to the point where one no longer even believes there is any such a thing as a will, and foolishly dismisses awareness as a derivative of some greater extrinsic source. At this point, whether this attribution is to theology or science, doesn't really matter, as the end result of what it achieves remains the same.

And so, this description of reality continued to develop over the passing years until it finally resulted in complete crystallization in our modern times, culminating into ideologies such as objectivism, which represents the full realization of this deception in western philosophy, wherein one is now deliberately conditioned to believe reality is independent of the mind, instilled at birth, by default. And so it remains, until this very day, and may continue to remain, until such a time that one can figure out how to break free from this imposed conditioning. For so long as you remain convinced that you are some type of limited physical creature that is devoid of free will and is bound to the laws of some type of limiting physical parameters, you will remain fully in the bondage of mental slavery. And what to do if one decides that they want to free themselves from these binds? A good question. Where to start?

Okay well, one thing that you're gonna need to eventually come to grapple with, is this deeply ingrained proclivity within you, to always fall under the spell of sensory illusion, in one form or another, which thereby assigns power and responsibility to the aspects of sensory illusion, in one way or another, hence constraining freedom. Mastering this proclivity is, in a nutshell, the basic process entailed in breaking the externalization conditioning; the culmination of sustained effort in allowing the recognition of awareness as the fundamental reality to blossom. This process represents more of a re-ordering of an improper configuration of the attention, rather then as any actual struggle of an ego character against some malevolent villain. The mental re-ordering is the actual process, the fight against the villain is just the allegorical projection of the re-ordering, which we'll delve deeper into in a moment... but it's important to keep the truth of this distinction in mind, otherwise the technique can quickly turn into yet another externalization. The illusion isn't an enemy, despite all the deception, violence and suffering it may seem to foster. Illusion is simply an aspect of mental phenomena, plain and simple. It's there for you to utilize. It's even there for you to command, but it will never relent to those who continue to allow it to hold power. So this is an exercise that should be used for training the mind, and not something to be taken personally. This is, after all, the natural effect that the illusions of sensory perception have on consciousness. They are enticing and mesmerizing, mainly due to an undisciplined focus and an attention that becomes too easily ensnared by distractions.

So don't get angry or impatient with illusion, as it's just doing it's job, and is ultimately indifferent to you, one way or another, due to it being empty unsubstantial mental phenomena. Getting disturbed about it is akin to getting angry at a mirage because you thought it was an oasis of water, or holding a personal grudge against a holographic image that you find offensive. The problem here is that your attention is transfixed on illusion. If you are dismayed at this set up, then what are you waiting for? Why are you lieing down on the ground awaiting rescue? You can fool yourself into ignorance, but don't be so foolish as to believe delusion will provide a savior to carry you out of ignorance. You will not break the externalization conditioning by waiting on illusion to do the work, nor by going to battle against the appearances of illusion, as both of these approaches are still indicative of a disconnect from the truth... It's not so much that you need to master illusion before the illusion masters you, but that you need to take command of your focus, and direct your attention with patience and discipline, irrespective of the movements of illusion. Understanding this, it becomes clear that, instead of wasting time getting triggered and upset at something having pushed your buttons, one should be concentrating on stalking the habits of the inner designs, thereby enabling the discovery and removal of any and all such buttons. Don't spend so much energy on having emotions about the traps, but instead, better spend the energy in learning how to identify, resist and dismantle the traps... for illusion will always be there, always ready to offer up the most up-to-date, tailor made bait, tempting desire, seeking to lure, lull or pacify the consciousness into acquiescence through it's various tactics of clever deception. The fact that you are in a submissive position relative to mental phenomena is the result of delusion to illusion, which is just another way of saying that the mind has been conditioned to find it normal to submit to imaginary appearances.

And understand, you will find next to no reinforcement of the contrary, otherwise... as everyone else around you is also conditioned likewise, hence uncovering the truth will depend wholly on taking responsibility and exercising inner reliance. And coming to recognize that reality is of a mental facility, so to speak. That's right. Existence is primarily a mental state, as it is experienced in a mental context. So reality is fundamentally mental first, before it then goes on to later be described in abstractions by externalists as a construct that exists independently of your mind. As long as they can obtain your obedience to a mind independent reality, you will be in mental slavery. Do you understand that? As long as they can obtain your obedience to a mind independent reality, you consent to being a slave, whether consciously or unconsciously. If there was ever something that could be described as an "agenda", out there, this is it... and those that propagate and impose this conditioning willfully represent the true face of the modern sophist. For the sophist, which basically means a philosophical con man, having this conditioning serving as a default constitutes the very basis of the artful deception. Not to mention that humans loathe to take on responsibility for life. Better to leave that in the hands of god or the universe. Better to chalk that off to determinism. Anything but to take responsibility. But we are powerless, and our thoughts don't have the ability to defy the laws of physics, so how can we be responsible? Yes, of course. Responsibility is elsewhere, and hence, so is power. This is exactly the desired configuration of the externalists. It's what allows illusion to continually dominate you: because you have unknowingly agreed to conform to a set of rules without the purview of proper prior contemplation. If you can maintain clarity on this issue, then there will never again be any such thing as confusion over a false guide or a false teaching... as a rule of thumb: when trying to determine the true alignment of any potential guide or teaching, you need only note where it asks you to assign power. And this is something you will begin to notice quite glaringly once you understand where the truth is. These sophists are gonna try to continually direct your attention to outside aspects and implore you to assign power there. The specific doesn't matter. And, as alluded to earlier, whether it be to a god, a leader, a government, an ideology, or to scientific notions of chemicals, elements, biology, forces or materials, doesn't matter. As long as you are attributing the source of reality to something beyond awareness, the inculcation is complete. They want you to struggle with choosing between these different items, and they don't care which one you select, because they have no true loyalty to any of them. So long as you are choosing between falsehoods, what you choose is inconsequential. This is the fabric to the externalization conditioning, of which, is the real true story of your mental slavery.